Episodit
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Oh hi there!
Yes, it is true; we are in August already. How is your summer going?
If you find yourself feeling a strange combination of exhaustion and anxious energy, you arenāt alone. But I hope you are feeling like one of the strong blackberries growing on the bush I pass on my daily walk, or the happy, swimming seal I saw the other day, or like that first taste of a popsicle when it is a million degrees outside.
Enough of me comparing you to random things, letās get to the kid table vibes!
Kid table vibes of the week
Naming things
Ever since moving to Washington (can you believe it has been over 6 months now?!), Aaron and I have been trying to name our house. When people asked us to describe it, we kept saying it is a blend of old vintage and modern cozy. And then we were like, āOh yeah. That could work.ā
So we made it official. We named our house: Olā Cozy.
I know, I know. Weāre basically geniuses (genius-i?).
Iāve come so far from those days-gone-by when I named my stuffed animals āSealyā and āDog.ā
Like I named the subscribe button āthe big green buttonā for goodness sake.
Oh by the way, did I tell you the main character of my debut picture book is named Bertie?
So yeah, super good at names ā like really creative. Like howād-you-think-of-that-my-mind-is-blown creative.
Anyway, the point is that naming things is hard, but Iāve discovered it connects me to my child self. So if you are feeling disconnected or isolated lately, try naming your toothbrush. You never know.
A few more kid table vibes
* Enthusiasm: The Enthusiast by Brad Montague ā everything Brad Montague makes is infused with care and imagination and meaning; his newsletter always inspires me.
* Playfulness: Fredrik Backman speech on creative anxiety and procrastination
* Celebrating the weirdos: Waltz For Sweatpants dance (I am obsessed with any choreography by Tessandra Chavez)
* Sibling rivalries: Okay, one more Tessandra Chavez dance (it made me cry)
* Book recs: Between Words by Saki Tanaka to live in gorgeous worlds, The Museum of Very Bad Smells by Monica Arnaldo to stink up your nose with delightful scratch and sniff nostalgia, and Still There was Bread by Lisl Detlefsen and David Soman for a warm hug.
And last but not least, the vibe of KNOWLEDGE.
Iāve spent the last few months learning from the great Wanda GĆ”g. You may know her as the author and illustrator of the book MILLIONS OF CATS which is the oldest picture book that has never gone out of print (published in 1928).
But you might not know that, after her father died when she was 15, she used her art to pay for all six of her siblings to complete high school (That would be hard NOW let alone as a female artist in the 1920s).
Or that she kept extensive and very personal journals her entire life ā like this gal was DEVOTED ā which included her unconventional views on marriage, motherhood, relationships, and creativity. If you are kinda curious (cough cough nosy) like me, these are fun.
Youāll probably enjoy this study if you:
* Need a reminder to trust your own creative voice.
* Are seeking inspiration or the permission to experiment.
* Have struggled honoring your creative voice while also making money, balancing learning from others and going your own way, or prioritizing your work while also cultivating relationships.
My aim is limitless. That I will never reach it I know, but I'm going to get as near there as I can. That will keep me running all the rest of my life, believe me.
Read 13 things I learned from the great Wanda GƔg on my website here.
Or listen on Substack, Apple podcasts, Spotify, or basically wherever you get your podcasts.
Trade-sies!
Now itās your turn. Itās that special kid table moment when you trade your dadās famous chocolate chip cookies for your favorite fruit snacks.
Wanna trade? Choose one or more kid table vibes to share in the comments!
* What would you name the toothbrush?
* What is the worst or best name youāve ever given something?
* What helps you feel enthusiastic on the hard days?
* What is one way that Wanda GƔg inspired you?
A big thank you to the sponsors of this post
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music and Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, Saki Tanaka, Angela Pham Krans, Nyasha Williams, Pamela A Mathy, and Martha Brockenbrough for sponsoring this newsletter. Definitely check out their amazing websites and books!
(Paid subscriptions are on pause at the moment while I catch up for the time I was away. Keeping things fair over here. I would never give you the smaller brownie. Never.)
Alright, thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today. I hope it filled you with inspiration and reconnected you with your child self in some way. And I also hope that, like Wanda GƔg, you keep reaching.
Until next time! As always Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your learning-to-take-a-limitless-aim friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
I hope youāve had a lovely week. Iām happy to tell you that after our bat encounter, weāve officially finished the full rabies treatment plan (a series of four different vaccine sessions). All thatās left is the bill (dun dun dun).
But I donāt want to think about that right now, so letās get to the kid table vibe of the week and learn some things from the great Arnold Lobel instead.
Note: You can listen to this newsletter as a podcast above or read it below.
The kid table vibe of the week: Overenthusiasm
Iāve always been a littleā¦overenthusiastic. Like I genuinely get so excited about so many things that sometimes I overwhelm myself. (I say this knowing just how ridiculous it sounds haha).
For example, in middle school, I received an assignment to write an advertisement that we would eventually record for a real radio show. It was a group project, and my brain came alive with the unlimited creative possibilities. We even had the space to be FUNNY which is my favorite place to play.
Well, letās just say my classmates had no idea what to do with someone who actually cared and even (gasp!) enjoyed doing the assignment. If the definition of cool is apathetic (which it usually is), I was a hot potato in a sea of ice cubes.
Now that Iāve given you just a glimpse into my own weirdness, you can probably imagine what Iām like at a couch store. Yeah?
Okay, so picture my overenthusiastic self at a couch store.
Sitting on everything. Touching all the fabric samples. Saying āooh,ā āaww,ā and āI love it,ā every few minutes. And after many couch store visits, Aaron and I had finally found the one.
The salesperson who helped us was very nice (like we were having so much fun that she offered us Mexican food in the back room where the employees hang out because they were celebrating something that day haha). And BONUS: we knew it wasnāt gross salesman nice because we had already decided on the couch before talking with her.
As we were finalizing everything and signing paperwork and all that, she shared how she was also a writer ā a screenwriter actually ā and had done some stuff in LA before she settled in Washington with her family. We chatted about her background and geeked out over writer stuff and, before I knew it, I felt so excited about her writer dreams that when she reached out to shake hands in congratulations for our new couch, I grabbed her entire arm.
YES, I OVER-ENTHUSIASTICALLY GRABBED HER ENTIRE ARM, YOU GUYS.
We both looked down in shock. Me at the strangest handshake I have ever given. And her for obvious reasons.
I had no idea what to say, so what I said was, āOh sorry, this kinda felt like a hug moment, and so I guess my handshake turned into an arm hug?ā
Thank goodness she laughed and was cool about it, but my face still turns bright red when I think about the moment my enthusiasm took over my body and gave a complete stranger an arm hug.
So yeah, thatās how I am at a couch store.
The big green button would never do something so embarrassing.
This week at my deskā¦
Iām working on my second picture book. Somehow I painted the most perfect pile of leaves, and Iām afraid I will never make anything else look this good!
Iāve also been visiting bookstores to plan my debut book shenanigans (more on that as things get finalized).
This week AT THE KID TABLE, weāre sitting with Arnold Lobel!
You probably know him because of the award-winning Frog and Toad series ā some of the greatest stories of all time. What I love about Lobel is that within an atmosphere of gentleness, he explores the complicated ā and sometimes downright terrifying ā and he even leaves you there sometimes. But always with a sense of safety.
Like in āAlone,ā Frog takes alone time and Toad is terrified he did something wrong; the resolution of that story feels satisfying without diminishing the experiences or emotions of either character which is SO HARD TO DO.
Or in āThe Dream,ā Lobel perfectly captures all of my greatest fears about success. It is daring and genius and speaks to my soul.
Anyway, here are just a few things I learned from the great Arnold Lobel.
(Even if you donāt read any more of this post, I hope that youāll take a moment with Frog and Toad today!)
Note: I found these nuggets in a written interview excerpt here and the only video interview I could find so far here.
In this video, I found Arnold Lobelās presence a fascinating combination of very serious and very playful. (He gave a sneak peek of a book he was working on at the time which eventually became the famous OWL AT HOME.)
No matter how talented you are, you have to work hard.
Arnold Lobel went to art school and started working in advertising agencies but hated it. So in the mid-1950s when āthere really was not a childrenās book market,ā he went to employment agencies and said he wanted to illustrate. They told him there was no money in it. But he just couldnāt āget on the subway every morning and face the workaday worldā anymore so he made a portfolio and āpound[ed] the pavements.ā He said, āUnless your mother happens to be an editor at Harper and Row, there is simply no other way to do it.ā
Sometimes you have to do things you donāt like for financial reasons, but overall he wouldnāt recommend it.
He had no luck, even with small publishers, and in about 1960, as a last resort and without much hope, he went to the āprestigious publisherā Harper and Row (known for the famous editor Ursula Nordstrom). They gave him a manuscript that entailed 64 pages of salmon drawings. Lobel said, āThey wouldn't have dreamed of giving it to an artist who had any kind of reputation. But I did it and once I had my foot in the door and knew a few people, I was able to continue.ā
He talked about how he knew he needed quite a few books behind him before he could really support his family, so he would take illustration jobs he didnāt like. About that time, he said, āI had some very painful months because I've learned [that]ā¦it's very bad to illustrate a manuscript that you do not really like and have faith in. It's a long process it can last as long as a yearā¦To get up in the morning and crawl to the drawing table, illustrating this awful thing that you can't stand anymore, it's really very painful. That is why you have to be so careful in picking manuscripts that some other people have written. Of course, your own manuscripts you have no excuse for. You've got to like them.ā
Your relationship with your own work will change throughout your career.
Insecurity: Because he started writing for financial reasons (double the royalties), he called himself āa trained illustrator and a lucky amateur in terms of writing.ā He felt insecure as a writer which is why he always wrote his stories first. He said, āPictures for me are the dessert, and I like to get the spinach over with first.ā
The conflicted impact of success: After he won a Newbery for Frog and Toad Together, he said: āI hope it doesn't make me self-conscious because up until now I felt very free about my writing because I've only used my writing as a kind of support for my pictures now that's all turned around in my mind I'm sort of in a state of confusion about it.ā
The rollercoaster of feelings: About his relationship with his work, Arnold Lobel said, āYou always enjoy the book that you're going to be doing next. For a while after finishing a book you don't like it and then when it gets old enough you start liking it again. It acquires the charm of antiquityā¦.we just live long enough and Iāll get to enjoy all my books again.ā
Feeling stuck: He talked about finding himself writing the same story over and over again ā two characters in a frog and toad relationship. So he decided to try writing a story about one character all alone which led him to OWL AT HOME.
You donāt have to work like everyone else. Your process is valid.
He considered himself his own editor first and felt like representing the words and pictures together was the only way to see āhow that book is working dramatically.ā He said, āEverybody tells me nobody makes as finished dummies as I do. It's partly insecurity. I feel I want to do it right away and get it over with and it's half the work and it's kind of laziness reallyā¦I've done all my work ahead of time. Something I always like to do.ā
He also described how he doesnāt get new ideas for books while in the middle of making other books. He said, āBooks do come easily to me when I'm working on themā¦but I let them sit in my brain for years before I work on them. I truly believe the theory that they're working in my subconscious and it's very odd. I'm rather like Mother Hubbard about books. If the cupboard is bare, I can work well. I can create new books.ā
Use your experience to come up with ideas for your particular medium.
When asked where his ideas came from, he said: āWell, how does an adult author come upon an idea for a story? It's lifetime experience. It's just that I transmogrify everything to children because that's my particular medium. You know, if an adult has an unhappy love affair, he writes about it. He exorcises it out of himself, perhaps, by writing a novel about it. Well, if I have an unhappy love affair, I have to somehow use all that pain and suffering but turn it into a work for children.ā
Inspiration comes from keeping your eyes open.
He said, āYou have to keep your eyes open and your mind open while you're workingāparticularly in the beginning of a bookāfor any kind of inspiration any kind of something that can help you out.ā Like when making the art for The Clay Pot Boy, all his sketches turned out horribly. He tried and tried and nothing would work. Until one day he saw a clay pot in his kitchen and suddenly realized it was the perfect model for his character and the book came together.
Clearly define for yourself what your role is as a creator.
When asked about his role as a childrenās book creator, he described how he naturally reacted to children through humor ā making a fool of himself to make them laugh. He said making books was sort of the same: āI consider myself an entertainer primarilyāalthough I'm fully aware thatā¦everything educates a childā¦But it's rather like I feel myself just the opposite of a teacher. A teacher in a classroom is there to educate. She can be amusing but her primary purpose is to educate, and she's going to be amusing just to keep the attention of the class. My purpose is to entertain and peripherally I can also educateā¦I think it's very bad if a creator of children's books starts getting terribly pedagogical.ā
Just keep working on it bit by bit until you like everything.
I loved this description of his creative process, because I feel like it really captures what making books is all about: āMore or less the nice thing about tracing paper is you can take away on the next drawing what you don't like about the drawing you did before and you can retain the things that you do like and you just keep working and working until you like everything.ā
What a perfectly Arnold Lobel way to describe the creative process! He distills it into something simple yet profound. He transforms something terrifying like the blank page into something bitesize ā without diminishing itās importance. And that amazing talent is one of the reasons why Arnold Lobel is one of the greats.
A big thank you to the sponsors of this post!
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music and Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, Saki Tanaka, Angela Pham Krans, Nyasha Williams, and Pamela A Mathy for sponsoring this episode. Definitely check out their amazing websites and books!
To become a sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today.
Until next time! As always Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Puuttuva jakso?
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Oh hi there!
How are you? I hope your week was a little more normal than mine because have I got a doozy of a kid table vibe for you. Letās just get right into it (and follow it with the amazing things I learned from the great Judy Blume).
The kid table vibe of the week isā¦
Note: You can listen to this entire newsletter as a podcast above or read it below.
A bat in the cave (a.k.a. my bedroom)
When sitting at the kid table, this phrase is either a joke you play on a friend or a seriously embarrassing realization or, for that one kid, a fully embraced situation. But for Aaron and me last weekend, this phrase took on new meaning.
The discovery
In the middle of the night on Saturday, we awoke to a fluttering sound. We thought, āMaybe it is something on our roof. Nah, it sounds closer. Maybe the attic.ā
But as my eyes adjusted, I could see the culprit of the noise: an erratic shadow darting above my head.
Oh no.
We had a bat in the cave (A.K.A. our bedroom).
The reaction
So I did what anyone would do in that situationā¦hid myself way down deep under the covers. (Is there anything more kid table than that?)
Half-asleep Aaron stumbled out of bed barely registering me saying ābatā until he turned on the lights and yelped, āBAT!ā With only a pillow in his hand to protect him, he dodged into the bathroom so he could better assess the situation. I didnāt see any of this because I was too scared to peek my head out. All I could get myself to do was call my dog to hide with me under the covers.
Eventually the bat found a good resting spot on our curtains, and I found the courage somewhere deep within me to sneak past him and escape.
The team (or lack of one)
We read that if you wake up to a bat in your room, you are supposed to get someone to check for rabies. So we called animal control who told us theyād call us back soon. As we waited, we drifted in and out of sleep to bat nightmares until, six hours laterāyes sixāthey finally called us back.
We told the guy the situation and he said, āWhy didnāt you let him out the window? Because it is light outside now, thatās going to be really hard for you.ā
I was speechless. He continued, āWe could come take care of it for you. Our weekend rates are double, so $600.ā
I replied, āIāll call you backā and hung up.
The extraction
Covered in raincoats and hoodies and armed with a large plastic container, we snuck the window open behind the bat, gave him a gentle nudge, and with a terrifying last attempt to fly at our faces behind the plastic container, he flew outside.
And thenā¦
I never called the guy back. Because revenge.
The aftermath
It turns out when you wake up to a bat in the room, you donāt REALLY know if youāve been bitten or scratched which means you donāt REALLY know if you have rabies which has a 100% death rate if not treated.
Soā¦you have to get an intense series of rabies shots.
When we got to the emergency room to receive them, they said, āItās too bad you didnāt have animal control come by to catch and test the bat for rabies. Would have saved you a lot of time.ā
ā¦
All I can say is, I am in awe of the nonsense that is life sometimes. I donāt have any wisdom to depart after this experience, but I feel like a changed person.
I am vengeance.
I am the night.
I am Batman.
This week at my deskā¦
I outlined a marketing plan to take over the world with my debut book (suddenly evil laughs have become the theme of this newsletter) and finished a color study dummy for my second picture book (Iām so excited about it!).
Speaking of the debut, I just realized there is a batman reference in there! (Gotta keep the newsletter theme going, right?) Wanna see?
This week AT THE KID TABLE, weāre sitting with childrenās book author Judy Blume!
You probably know her for the famous Are You There GOD, Itās Me Margaret which was made into an excellent movie (seriously, I watched it twice and Blume herself said it is better than the book) or her many other New York Times bestselling books for kids (and adults).
But you may not know that she has no sense of direction (something I share) OR that she is a bookstore owner OR that she has consistently been on the most frequent banned list throughout her career āwhich inspired her to become a highly-honored advocate for intellectual freedom.
Judy Blume is a courageous kidlit legend whose books have offered a space for readers, especially women, to feel seen and respected. Here are just a few things Iāve learned from the great Judy Blume.
1. Having a creative outlet is essential to happiness and health.
She grew up in what Blume called āa 50s familyā ā her father was a dentist and her mother was at home and she had one older brother. She describes how she identified most with her father because he was a creative person and a wonderful storyteller in every way. āHe encouraged me that I could reach for the stars. Sadly he died when I was 21 and never saw any of this.ā Her mother was anxious, shy, and private but gave Blume a love of reading. Their house was full of books and nothing was off limits.
Blume on her love of reading:
Judy Blume was painfully shy as a child (like her mother), then at age 10, she became more theatrical and dramatic. She said, āI never felt alone because I had everything going on in my headā¦I had a rich inner life that I never shared with anyone. I think that is how I became a writer and how I think many people become writers. Itās not so much the books; itās the imagination.ā
For a while Blume was into acting, but she also felt pressure to go to college, study teaching, meet a man, get married, and become the president of the PTA. At age 21, she married a lawyer six years older than her whom she saw as āa grown-upā and they had two kids by 25.
Suddenly she was living without the creative outlet that school provided her and it had a major impact on her physical health. Throughout her 20s, she battled āexotic illnessesā that nobody could figure out. But as soon as her book was accepted for publication, āthat was the end of it.ā
She said, āIt is so interesting for me to look back and see how writing changed my life, cured me physically, allowed me to soar emotionally and intellectually, gave me everything, really made me who I am today. And I donāt know what would happen to me if I hadnāt found that creative outlet.ā
2. Take a chance on yourself with determination.
As a young mom in the 60s, Blume made felt pictures, travelled to New York, and pitched them to Bloomingdaleās. She got $9 a pop, saved up $350, and bought herself an electric typewriter.
At first, she wanted to be the next Dr. Seuss, so she wrote rhyming books, illustrated them, and mailed them to publishers. The mailman would share her sadness when she received rejections. But still determined, she signed up for a class at NYU on writing for tweens. She looked forward to every Monday night where she connected with others who shared her interests and received professional encouragement. About her teacher, Blume said, āShe gave me so many rules for writing childrenās books ā rules that I broke right away ā but she encouraged me.ā
Eventually Blume started submitting to publishers again and met her dream editor who asked her the perfect questions to open the floodgates of ideas. She left without a contract but with a request to revise and resubmit. He loved the revision and offered her $800. She responded, āI read somewhere that Iām supposed to get $1000.ā He said, āWell, we want some place to go with the next book, don't we.ā She still teases him about that. I love her gumption!
3. Telling the truth is more important than following the rules.
As Blume began writing stories, she said, āI know all the rules, but I donāt care about the rules. Iām just going to go back and write what I remember to be true.ā
She felt more comfortable with her 12 year old self than her 30 year old self, and so thatās where a lot of her stories lived. She discovered she had so many stories inside her that she āwent from book to book to book,ā sending one off and immediately starting the next one.
When Are You There God, Itās Me Margaret was published. It received some great reviews that encouraged her to believe she could really do this. She also received some negative reactions ā like the male principal in her childrenās school refused to keep her books on the shelves because they talked about menstruation. This was one of the first times she learned that, āIf somebody in power didn't think your books were appropriate, they could be taken away.ā
Though her books sparked controversy, she didnāt set out to write controversial books. She said, āI didn't set out to do anything except tell stories as well as I could.ā She would come home from the library with loads of books and sort them into piles of those she loved and those that bored her. Other fierce truth-tellers like her hero Beverly Cleary or Louise Fitzhugh or E.L. Konigsburg inspired her, and she wanted to write books that engaged readers like those engaged her.
She wanted to write about puberty because she was obsessed with it as a pre-teen. She said, āI did all those exercises. I pricked my finger and put blood on a sanitary napkin to see what it would be like. I wore it to school to prove to my friends that I had my period. I lied about getting my period which I didn't get till I was 14.ā So she wrote about her real experiences.
Exploring true experiences that didnāt bore her was Blumeās guiding light throughout her career. For example, in a time āwhen women were not supposed to write about menā or write āfrom a boyās point of view,ā she did because she loved learning about being a boy. Or when after reading books for older teens that portrayed a lot of harsh sexual consequences, her daughter asked her, āCouldn't there ever be a story about two nice kids who do it (meaning have sex) and nobody has to die?ā Blume wrote a story to show āsexuality with responsibilityā that honored the girlās pleasure as well.
Though these stories pushed the boundaries, that was never really Blumeās goal. She just wanted to tell the truth and prioritized that more than following anyone elseās rules.
4. Protect the playful space of NOT knowing something.
About her craft, Blume says, āI think it's a bad idea to think about your audience when you're writing and it's a bad idea to think about your critics. I think I was really lucky when I started out that I didn't know anybody who wrote, and I didn't know anything about publishing or anything about the world of writing and writers and so I just did it spontaneously. It's much harder now because I know so much more.
But I do find when I'm in that roomā¦I have no idea what age group I'm writing for. I don't know who's going to read this book. I just know that I have to tell this story.ā
5. Your happiness may threaten other people, but go for it anyway.
Blume faced a lot of rejection, often because of the success of her stories. She felt isolated from other women in her community. They often mocked her and didnāt support her. About her career, she said, āIt separated me from them in a way that wasnāt really acceptable in those days.ā
But even though the local ladies rejected her and her books for challenging ātheir own life choices,ā Blume found the ācourage to make changes in [her] own life that [she] might never have madeā from the womenās movement. āIt was my own little feminist movement inside me,ā she said.
As her books were banned for talking about puberty or menstruation or other subjects, it made her feel scared and sad and rejected. But then she learned about organizations she could join that empowered her. She became a passionate and award-winning advocate for the freedom to read.
And to end this lovely time weāve had sitting with Blume, Iād like to share her advice with you. She doesnāt actually like to give advice, but in the following interview, she shared this.
āThe only advice I feel comfortable giving is to anybody really. Don't let anybody discourage you. If you feel it, if you need to do it, then you have to go out there even though they tell you you can't do it.ā
I felt so inspired by Judy Blume and her books, and recently I decided to join the group Authors Against Book Bans. I love how they are helping others feel less alone ā especially the librarians and teachers whose jobs are on the line as they advocate for the freedom to read. If you are an author or illustrator interested in joining, feel free to email me with questions or check out their website.
Also if you want a deeper dive into Judy Blume and her life, this was a great interview!
A big thank you to the sponsors of this post!
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music and Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, Saki Tanaka, Angela Pham Krans, Nyasha Williams, and Pamela A Mathy for sponsoring this episode. Definitely check out their amazing websites and books!
To become a sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today.
Until next time! As always Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your grateful-for-the-honest-books-that-helped-her-as-a-kid friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
This month, I hope youāve been marching to the beat of your own drum with a hint of madness. So far my March has been filled with exciting art style epiphanies for my second picture book, a gal pal party, some Jason Reynolds inspiration, and kid table vibes likeā¦
Note: You can listen to this entire newsletter as a podcast or read it below.
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time
Many a kid table squabble was started by someone putting their foot in their mouth. Recently we had a guy come over to give us an estimate for gutter protectors and oh boy did he put his big foot in his big mouth.
In the end, HE was the one needing the gut-ter check. Buh dum psh.
(Like I always say, you get what you pay for here at the kid table.)
Letās set the sceneā¦
I was in the groove working on that second picture book, so like the amazing wife I am, I sent Aaron in alone to answer the door and talk to this man.
Luckily I could hear every word from my office perch upstairs.
INT. Our house ā Day
The man looks at our gutters, then sits down with Aaron. Tells him a bunch of gutter stuff using a bunch of gutter jargon. And then..
MAN: So what do YOU think a good price for this would be?
AARON (awkwardly): Ummā¦I donāt know.
MAN: No really.
AARON: Okay, a couple thousand I guess.
MAN: Oh uh, well actually itās $10,000 but I can get you a good discount. Right now it is 30% off. But youād have to tell me before 9PM tonight. (Says some more jargon).
AARON: Okay, Iāll talk to my wife and let you know.
MAN: What do you think sheāll say?
AARON: Maybe?
MAN: How long you been married?
AARON: Almost seven years.
MAN stares at Aaron for an uncomfortably long time.
MAN: Well, itās about that time.
AARON: Time for what?
MAN: You know, most marriages only last about five to seven years. I told my ex-wife, āI gave you seven good years.ā
MAN chuckles like there was an actual joke somewhere in there.
AARON: Uhā¦
MAN: So yeah, that 20% discount should set you up nicely. Only as long as you tell me by 8PM.
Aaron tries many tactics to get MAN out the door as his wife laughs upstairs.
END SCENE
Okay, so I know one of my recent posts was all about lying for a living, but I DIDNāT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP! Needless to say, when the guy called us that night at 7:30PM, we didnāt answer.
Last week I got to sit at the kid table in person with two of my favorite gal pals.
If youāve been following this newsletter for a bit, youāll know that Iāve opened up a lot more to female friendships in the last few years. I was a bit wounded due to a few damaging female relationships and closed up my lilā heart. Then, after some therapy and soul-searching and a rediscovery of my love for childrenās books, I started to meet kindred spirits who made it feel easy to open up again.
I got to see two of them last week, and their celebration of each other as creators and people was beautiful to witness. The talented author and community builder Natasha Tripplett has a debut THE BLUE PICKUP that just came out (buy it here!). The nurturing, bright, pun-loving Martha Brockenbrough interviewed Natasha with her personal touch (buy her books here!).
Powerhouse books made by powerhouse women. Happy Womenās History Month!
This week Iām sitting at the table with author Jason Reynolds.
You may have heard of this Newbery Honor winning, New York Times best-selling author for his books like Look Both Ways, All American Boys, and Long Way Down. Or maybe his incredible service as the National Ambassador for Young Peopleās Literature. Or maybe even his famous late night show appearances on Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Fallon, and more (I included some links so you can hear him talk about anxiety as a super power, his craft, book banning, and the cool car he drives).
But you may NOT know that he read his first novel at age 17, that he loved writing before reading due to Queen Latifah, that he did a podcast on Radiotopia with his mom, and that he actually doesnāt want his books to be read in 40 years from now.
Iāve read every book heās ever written ā watched hours of his spoken poetry and interviews ā and heās inspired me in every way.
Here are just a few things Iāve learned from the great Jason Reynolds.
Give readers a space to feel seen (and do it in an engaging way).
Reynolds didnāt read growing up because he didnāt see his own life reflected in books. When describing what changed this, he said, āIt was in the ownership of my own story that my life was sort of expanded. It was in the honesty in my own experiences that made room for me.ā
Creating work that āhelps young people feel cared forā became one of his major creative drives. To him, caring for young people means writing stories that make them say, āYo, this feels real. Feels like me. Feels like the people I know. Feels like things Iāve heard about.ā
I love his philosophy that caring for readers means giving them a space to feel seen.
But he also just wants to get kids to read. Period. Which is why his number one goal is written in big letters across his website: āHERE'S WHAT I DO: NOT WRITE BORING BOOKS.ā
The big green button also tries to achieve this goal but is unfortunately limited to the same one word each time.
The best way to encourage kids to read is to tap into the stories they have within them.
Reynolds says one of the worst ways to get a kid to read is to tell them to read. Instead it is more powerful to encourage them to share the stories they have within them.
The video below talks about how he encourages other peopleās stories but also how he got into stories. And one of my favorite moments is when we learn that he loves to crochet :)
Write the complicated stuff, because kids deserve books that reflect their actual lives.
While some creators believe that childrenās literature is limiting, Reynolds argues the opposite. He says that young people have āa sense of wonder and a sense of curiosity and a sense of innocence and a sense of preciousness and a sense of fear and anxiety that adults tend to mask. There's an imagination that adults tend to lose.ā
And though some will tell you that āyou canāt say this or you canāt say thatā in childrenās books, Reynolds writes about whatever he wants to write about, āno matter how traumatic or how complicated it is. I write about that because that's the lives of children in America today.ā
This is exactly why he doesnāt want his books to be read in schools 40 years from now.
I always say if my books are still being read 40 years from nowā¦as the books that are introducing young people to literacy in schools, I failed. 40 years from now, we ain't figured out new books yet? Language is living, it's growing, it's expanding, it's changing, it's evolving. People are living and growing and changing and expanding and evolving. Books have to continue to do the exact same thingā¦in order for them to see eye to eye with the young people they're trying to engage with. Simple as that.
Remember the power you have off the page, a power that comes from being present with those around you.
What I love about Jason Reynolds is that he respects and loves his readers both on and off the page. You can tell he actually HEARS them. Their stories. Their worries. Their joys.
In fact, he carries them with him.
I remember a kid in Philadelphia once looked me in the face and asked me if I ever wish my skin was different. I carry her a lot because I think about how these books have an opportunity to let her know that it's okay. That we're okay. And that not only should we be all right with who we are, we should celebrate it.
I come from a people who was never supposed to read and here I am. Writing.
I come from a legacy of people who weren't supposed to be here, so to look that little girl in her faceāI think she was like nineāand to pour into her and to let her know that she's much bigger than she could ever know, that the codes that come along with this skin, the history that comes upā oh, she has no reason to be ashamed.
One of the many things I admire about Reynolds is how present he is with his audience. If you have the chance to attend one of his events, I highly recommend it. Youāll be blown away by his poetic words, his thoughtfulness, and his presence.
The white space is just as important as the words.
If youāve listened to or read anything by Jason Reynolds, you know this guy is an amazing poet with a fine-tuned sense of rhythm. And when he writes, a major part of his process is thinking about the space in between his words.
When you use space or you use the page, you can kinda create your own sort of score with the white spaceā¦
A box. A heavy box.
is different thanā¦
A box.
A heavy box.
He says that all his work ā his writing and rewriting ā boils down to trying to achieve the right rhythm. The white space between words is a tool he uses to encourage the mind to create that rhythm.
I recommend putting that in your writerās craft tool belt.
And one last thing to inspire youā¦
If you want to see everything Iāve talked about ā his rhythm, presence, and power ā I highly recommend watching this video. Youāll feel seen in your brokenness and your imperfect steps toward achieving your own dreams. He acknowledges both the pain and the joy of walking your authentic path in such a beautiful way.
As you can see from everything I have included (it was so hard to stop here!), Jason Reynolds is an author to spend your time reading. He is vulnerable, honest, and inspirational. I hope you consider buying one or more of his books (you can find and buy them here) as they are SO GOOD.
A big thank you to the sponsors of this post!
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music and Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, Saki Tanaka, Angela Pham Krans, and Nyasha Williams for sponsoring this episode. Definitely check out their amazing websites and books!
To become a sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting AT THE KID TABLE today.
Until next time! Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your-wishing-she-could-crochet-cool-hats-like-Jason-Reynolds friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
How is your February going? You know, I thought February would feel less sloggy than January, but Iāve struggled all month to do basic things like eat and sleep.
It is times like these that I need to remind myself to take life a little less seriously and enjoy the small moments which brings me to the kid table vibe of the weekā¦
Note: You can listen to this entire newsletter as a podcast or read it below.
Things that sound made up but arenāt!
Have you ever heard of Restless Leg Syndrome?
It sounds so fake ā I wish it was ābut it is very real.
Unfortunately I have the genes for RLS which means I often canāt fall asleep until three in the morning. Womp womp.
I like to imagine back in the olden days (before 1995 when the diagnosis became official) when my ancestors were trying to describe what was happening to them and nobody believed them because it sounds absolutely ridiculous:
* āMy leg just feels like it has to move all the time right when Iām about to fall asleep. Like it has a mind of its own.ā
* āIt hurts but not like a normal pain. Like an irritating pain on the inside of my leg and the bottom of my foot.ā
* āOne time I was on a flight and I had to take my shoes off because they were making my feet feel claustrophobic and my leg feel jumpy. Also I wanted to take my pants off because that helps it feel better but I didnāt.ā
I mean imagine how that last one would goā¦
So yeah, thatās how it feels and lately it has been really bad.
(I see you playing your tiny violin.)
And yes, like my ancestors before me, I have to take my pajama pants off because they are making my legs feel jumpy.
(I see you abruptly stop playing your tiny violin, unsubscribe from this newsletter, and leave the room.)
All this to say, you can blame the lack of sleep for this absolutely unhinged newsletter.
The big green button wants to make it clear that it had nothing to do with this and has no further comment.
Anyway, thanks for the space to chuckle about it.
On a hopeful note, after not being able to fall asleep until seven in the morning (it sucked), I finally tried melatonin again which hadnāt worked AT ALL for me as a teenager but actually helped this time! Itās a February miracle! I feel like a new person.
This week at my deskā¦
I got to review the proofs for my debut picture book HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY), and they look so good. Thanks to all those who have celebrated this book with me so far; some of you have even preordered copies already which means the world to me (and actually helps me look good to my publisher hee hee).
This week AT THE KID TABLE, weāre sitting with childrenās book author Margaret Wise Brown!
But before we dive into that, I just wanted to let you know that though Iāve appreciated all that I learned from the SUPER thorough studies of childrenās book creators, theyāve taken a lot out of me.
So Iām simplifying just a bit.
Instead of collecting a million things, Iāll just focus on 3-5 things Iāve learned which will reduce the podcast episodes to about 10 minutes ā a quick dose of kid table vibes and creative inspiration.
Iām a bit nervous about this shift as those long posts were my most popular and most shared. But I hope you will also like the more bitesize version, especially because I know you are busy and reading the long posts is quite the commitment.
Onto learning from the great Margaret Wise Brown!
You probably know Margaret Wise Brown for Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny, but you may not know that she had a well-known feud with famous childrenās librarian Anne Carroll Moore (who actually hated Goodnight Moon) or that she was heavily influenced by Gertrude Stein (whom she later helped publish a childrenās book called The World is Round) or that she was engaged to a Rockefeller when she tragically passed away at the early age of 42.
She is one of the most intriguing people in childrenās books, and I canāt wait to give you just a glimpse of her fascinating life and point of view.
A few fun facts and anecdotes
She was born in 1910 (not a super fun fact but important to give you an idea of the timeline haha).
She worked at the Bank Street Experimental School where she researched languageāspecifically repetition and sensory details which youāve probably noticed in her books.
Goodnight Moon was not a huge hit when it was first published but became a word-of-mouth sensation over time. I found this description that I love: āBrown thought the book was successful because it helped children let go of the world around them piece by piece, just before turning out the light and falling asleep.ā
She loved fur (like really loved it) which inspired her book Little Fur Family, illustrated by Garth Williams.
In the picture book The Important Thing About Margaret Wise Brown written by Mac Barnett, the illustrator Sarah Jacoby created bunny characters for parts of that book because Brown loved a woman named Michael Strange (her writer pen name), and they called each other ālittle bunā in their letters.
I stumbled upon a wonderful, quirky book of hers that Iād never read before called They All Saw It which is hard to find but luckily Barnett did a read aloud.
An NPR feature described Brownās ādramatic and tumultuous love affairs with both men and womenā and her interesting relationship with her audience. Some say she didnāt like children, which could be true, but as we learned from my previous post, Maurice Sendak also said he didnāt like children but then contradicted it in a million ways. Either way, Brown was at the very least fascinated by children and was super in tune with her own childhood.
Brownās death was very sudden and strange and sad. While in France, she had to get an ovarian cyst removed. After a few weeks, she was feeling better, and the nurse came into check on her. Brown kicked her leg up to show how great she felt which dislodged an embolism in her limb that went straight to her brain. Months later, she passed away suddenly at the age of 42. (I learned this from the book Wild Things! Acts of Mischief in Children's Literature which has all sorts of interesting stuff about childrenās book creators.)
Three things I learned from her life, work, and creative process
1. A great story is a combination of the predictable and unpredictable.
From What Writers Can Learn From āGoodnight Moonā by Aimee Bender:
āGoodnight Moonā does two things right away: It sets up a world and then it subverts its own rules even as it follows them. It works like a sonata of sorts, but, like a good version of the form, it does not follow a wholly predictable structure. Many childrenās books do, particularly for this age, as kids love repetition and the books supply it. They often end as we expect, with a circling back to the start, and a fun twist. This is satisfying but it can be forgettable. Kids ā people ā also love depth and surprise, and āGoodnight Moonā offers both.
This analysis rings true for me. I think I return to this book over and over again because of its combination of comfort and mystery.
The following quote sums it up perfectly. (I discovered it in one of my all time FAVORITE articles about Margaret Wise Brown by the talented Taylor Sterling. If you havenāt subscribed to her newsletter MOONBOW, consider this a sign.)
2. To write the truth, you must be in tune with the reality of your audience.
In her essay Writing for Five-Year-Olds (read the whole thing if you can ā it is amazing!), Brown said that there is āone final determiner or denominator that gives the writing truth or falseness, and that is the reality in which the writing is concerned. So what is a five-year-old childās reality and concern?ā
She said one way to know that answer is to connect with our inner five-year-old.
If we are writing for these delights and interests of five-year olds we must remember them and experience them in our stories.
And another thing.
No matter how important we know little kittens and steam engines to be to a five-year-old, no one can ever write about them without a real love for them and familiarity with them in some formāactual or remembered.
When I was learning about the childrenās book industry, I received a lot of advice like your book needs to have trucks or boats or animals or bright colors because kids love those things. Some kids do love those things BUT if I donāt love them, I shouldnāt write a story about them. My best work has happened when I find something I love that intersects with what a child loves (especially if it is what little Rachel loved).
If weāre not sure what a child loves, Brown encourages us to ask them!
What do they play when they are alone? What do they laugh at? What makes them sad? And what do they want to know? These are the things to find out. These and any number of others are the leads to get from five-year-olds themselves.
I donāt know about you, but Iām thinking that whole āI donāt like kidsā quote is a bit more complicated ;)
3. Respect childrenās books as real literature.
If you canāt tell just how much Brown respects her reader, letās continue our journey through her wonderful essay.
When a child reaches the age of five, he is the sum total of all his younger experiences and discoveries in a brand new worldā¦.For the first time, he has the power of words, to use them and to hear them, to describe the things that his five-year-old senses perceive. He has his feet firmly enough on the ground now to go bouncing off on the most hilarious flights of imagination and to sympathize with and be curious about situations not his own.
Here then is a challenging age to write for.
Childrenās books are treated like children are treated. When we dismiss childrenās books as something less than ārealā literature, we also dismiss children.
And why should not a child's story submit to the same standards of good honest writing as any real literature?
Margaret Wise Brown felt excited about her five-year-old audience and considered them āas intelligent an audience in rhythm and sound as the maddest poet's heart could desire.ā
And doesnāt an audience like that deserve our very best?
A big thank you to the sponsors of this post!
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music and Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, Saki Tanaka, and Angela Pham Krans for sponsoring this episode. To become a sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting AT THE KID TABLE with me today.
Until next time! Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your-wanting-to-wear-a-cool-brooch-like-Margaret-Wise-Brown friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
I just want to say thanks for all the support you showed me for the HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY) cover reveal last week. Today Iām revealing the answers to the two truths and a lie poll and sharing my super embarrassing pee pants story!
The big green button has never peed its pants but it has done a lot of empathy work so I know it is there for me.
That time I peed my pants (one of the most kid table vibes there is)
Alright so last week I told you all about my debut cover and outlined the process of making it and we played two truths and a lie. Wanna see how you did?
Here are the options:
* Bertie the birdās glasses were based on the glasses I wore as a kid.
* I peed my pants in the middle of class in first grade.
* After I peed my pants, I had to wait in the office for my mom to bring me clean clothes and, before I could sit down, the office lady bubble-wrapped the chair.
TRUE: Bertie the birdās glasses were based on the glasses I wore as a kid.
This is me.
This is the cover.
You wanna know the crazy thing? It was completely subconscious. Only when a critique partner said after seeing my kid photo, āOh, now I understand why you put glasses on your charactersā did I see it.
One of those moments when a dear friend understands you more than you understand yourself.
FALSE: I peed my pants in the middle of class in first grade.
Keep reading to see whereā¦
TRUE: After I peed my pants, I had to wait in the office for my mom to bring me clean clothes and, before I could sit down, the office lady bubble-wrapped the chair.
And now for the SUPER EMBARRASSING pee my pants story to set the record straight.
THE MOMENT
It was first grade and I was an expert bladder controller. (Basically I had the equivalent expertise of air traffic controllers but with controlling my bladder.) This was because I was terrified that if I went to the bathroom during lunch, I wouldnāt be able to find my friends since the playground was so big.
So I would hold it. And hold it.
I was very good at holding it.
Hi, this is psychologist Rachel coming in to analyze things in the middle of a story because I canāt shut my brain off.
Did you catch the glaring abandonment issues here? Yes, they would take years of therapy to unravel, but I wanted to come in and ease your mind that NOW Rachel can successfully walk through a playground alone. Though she doesnāt do it often just in case it looks creepy. Okay, letās continue.
Even the best bladder traffic controllers are human.
Unfortunately my moment arrived during recess when I was standing in a circle of friends. It was basically set up like a Shakespeare play at the globe theater ā every seat in the house had a great view to the show. And the show was me.
I still remember the moment the dam broke.
I audibly said, āUh. Oh.ā ā like I was in slow motion ā emphasizing each syllable so that those who might have been looking at the sky or observing a bird on a tree wouldnāt miss the big event.
I remember mouths dropping open.
I remember the sound of the whistle to line up after recess.
I remember being afraid everyone would see as I lined up.
Somehow I had the sense to sneak away to the front office to call my mom. Because she worked full-time, I needed to wait for some clean clothes.
As I started sitting down on the office chair, I heard, āNOOO! STOP!ā
It felt like a gust of winter wind had frozen my wet pants into place.
I watched in shame as the office lady pulled out a large roll of bubble wrap. She wrapped the chair many times, secured it with tape, and then said, āNOW you can sit.ā
Alright, thatās it. Iām just going to leave you there with those emotions;)
āUmmā¦hi, this is psychologist Rachel interrupting yet again to say that Rachel doesnāt really like things left unresolved, often to a fault, so she would never āleave you hangingā as the kids say.ā
Ugh, get out of here psychologist Rachel!
But yeah, sheās right.
It took a long time for me to be able to talk about that experience with people. Until I had a sleepover with a bunch of friends years later and one girl laughed so hard, she peed her pants. Soon all of us were telling our pee pants stories and laughing with each other. With every laugh, the shame melted away.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I had an epiphany. Maybe I could channel the laugh-with-ourselves energy into a story inspired by my own embarrassing moment. Maybe I could turn something sad into something funny. Maybe I could write the book I wish I had when I peed my pants.
HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY) is that book.
I hope it brings that ālaugh with ourselvesā energy into your home. I hope it dissipates the shame. I hope it reminds you that you are never as alone as you think.
If you or someone you know would like some ālaugh with ourselvesā energy, my book is available for preorder now!
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today.
Until next time! Iāll save you a seat right by me.
Your potty-dancing-her-way-through-life friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
Thank you so much for opening this newsletter today because Iām sharing something very dear to my heart: MY DEBUT COVER REVEAL! If you will permit me to make this an āexperience,ā weāre going to start with an appetizer that gradually builds to the BIG REVEAL main course. And finish with a lilā behind-the-scenes dessert. Sound good?
Letās get this feast going!
Note: You can listen to this as a podcast episode (with a bit of additional commentary) or read it as a newsletter below.
An appetizer of kid table vibes
Doing something just for fun. No productivity allowed!
Aaron and I have been watching the show Taskmaster thanks to a rec by the lovely and talented Isabella Kung. This show is so ākid tableā at heart, and Iām OBSESSED with it. Weāve been watching the British one in which the āmean,ā hard-to-please Taskmaster (Greg Davies) judges five contestants (often comedians) as they complete meaningless tasks prepared by the Taskmasterās Assistant (Alex Horne). It is absurd and hilarious and creativeābasically everything my inner child loves.
Telling truth and lies
One of the showās contestants was James Acaster who has a comedy special on Netflix called Repertoire; of course, I had to watch it. In four episodes, James plays a lot with truth and lies. Like he builds the first episode on the idea that he is an undercover cop posing as a comedian (which is hilarious for so many reasons including the fact that as he talks about his life, like comedians often do, he endangers the entire operation). I chuckled as I watched because 1) he is hilarious and 2) Iām tickled that people actually tell lies for a living.
In factā¦I lie for a living. Even better, I lie TO KIDS for a living. What a job. What a life!
The big green green button is wondering where Iām going with this.
Shall we make this even weirder? Letās.
I also tell the truth for a living. WHHHAAAAATTTT?
Little kid me would be super confused. She was taught that lying was always bad and that you should always tell the truth. So lying canāt ever be good, can it? Lies and truth canāt exist at the same time, can they?
Reading fiction: the best kind of lie
Iāve loved fiction since the moment I popped out of my mom. My first word was ābook.ā My grandma always told the story of me pointing to a book for her to read, then weād finish, and Iād point to anotherāone by one until we finished all the books we owned.
When I watched Jamesās special āthe way he played with truth and liesā I realized one big reason why I love fiction so much. Yes, it is entertaining. And interesting. And fun. And it allows me to explore people and places and things and ideas. But it also offers clear boundaries and expectations.
Being in on the lie
Ah, boundaries. I love āem. Crave āem. Probably because I didnāt grow up with a lot of āem. People would say one thing and do another. Lots of half-truths. Lots of confusing emotions. So where did I go for comfort? Fiction.
In fiction, I was in on the lie. There was an expectation right off the bat. You are entering a fake world ā a lie of sorts ā but a purposeful one. A thoughtful one. Even a fun one. You could enter it and leave it whenever you wanted to. There would be structure. There would be expectations created and fulfilled. And ultimately there would be lots of emotional truth to gather along the way that would leave me feeling understood and valued.
When I opened a book, this very natural dialogue would happen under the surface:
Storyteller: Hey, I want to explore an interesting emotion or idea and I think the best way to do it would be through a lie. Would you be alright with that?
Me: Yeah, normally I really hate lies because they leave me feeling powerless. But somehow you letting me know beforehand makes it feel empowering instead. Like Iām in on it. And because you are being upfront about it, Iām trusting that youāll offer me a purposeful experience.
Storyteller: Cool.
Didnāt that dialogue feel like something someone would really say in a conversation which is not contrived at all for the purposes of getting a point across in a newsletter?
No, but it was fun to pretend that I thought the dialogue was natural when really you knew I was pretending because thatās the joke. I āliedā to you but you were okay with it and maybe even enjoyed it because I gave a hint that I was lying. Being in on it makes all the difference. And oh boy is that dynamic fun.
For someone who really hates lies, I sure do love them.
So yes, I hate real lies. I really really do. But I LOVE playful lies (otherwise known as fiction) that offer a consensual experience (okay, that phrasing kinda sounds like Iām talking about something else but I think you get what I mean).
To me, a book is like a shared contract between the storyteller and reader. And I take that contract very seriously, especially when crafting my own ālies.ā
Which leads me to the reason why Iāve been pondering about all of this latelyā¦MY FIRST CONTRACTED LIE!
A quick palette cleanser
Before I reveal the cover, I just have to take this moment to make fun of myself.
Rachel: Really Rachel? A cover reveal that is all about how you lie to children?
Rachel: It was kindaā¦fun, right? Surprising?
Rachel: Letās call it āinnovative.ā
Rachel: How do we live with ourselves.
Now that thatās over with, onto the reveal.
The main course cover reveal
Duh duh duh-duh!
Iām so excited!! I canāt believe my book is actually real and that Iāll be able to hold it and read it to kids on October 15. In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to give you a little taste of my bookās origin story in the form ofā¦
Two truths and a lie, of course!
In the true spirit of Taskmaster, letās play a silly game.
Can you spot the lie?
* Bertie the birdās glasses were based on the glasses I wore as a kid.
* I peed my pants in the middle of class in first grade.
* After I peed my pants, I had to wait in the office for my mom to bring me clean clothes and, before I could sit down, the office lady bubble-wrapped the chair.
I will share the results and answers in next weekās newsletter!
Oh, and while youāre waiting on the edge of your seat, you could preorder my hilarious lies at your local independent bookstore! (Maybe youāll even discover some emotional truth in there.)
A lilā behind-the-scenes dessert
Making a cover is really tricky (for me anyway), and this is the first real one Iāve ever made. I had a few cover goals, and I can only hope I achieved at least a few of them:
* I wanted the title to be big as it usually makes people laugh and would help set expectations at a glance.
* I wanted the cover to capture the essence of the book which is all about the tension between a serious āHow toā voice and absurd comedy (mostly in the illustrations).
* I wanted readers to immediately connect with my main character and his situation.
* Overall, I really just wanted people to laugh.
Now the biggest debate was Bertie. I knew I wanted to capture that universal āIāve got to goā stance, so I sketched a bunch of Berties in different poses.
I asked myself questions to help me make decisions. Eyes opened or closed? Bertie in a setting, on a chair, or by himself? I tried to push myself to capture even the weirdest of ideas because they usually teach me something.
Like this mugshot looking one made me laugh and helped me realize that I liked him better with his eyes open. I also realized that though the wet spot is hilarious, I wanted to protect his dignity on the cover since peeing your pants is so vulnerable. There is a difference between laughing WITH someone and laughing AT them, and I wanted to create an environment that guides the reader into the experience as a friend to Bertie.
I like the pose I ended up with because the eye contact creates tension and communicates Bertie is in an emergency situation. But it also feels like Bertie is showing trust in the reader with a vulnerable āHelp me!ā ā an invitation to be there for him. To be his friend. To laugh WITH him through the experience.
BUT then I got in my head and worried that Bertie alone on the cover might be too boring. Sometimes āsimpleā feels scary as it is hard to trust that it is enough. So I experimented with some other fun things. Iām glad I did because that image with the potty dancing Berties in place of the Os and A ended up becoming the title page inside the book!
After sending my favorite ideas to my editor and art director, they loved this direction. Next I needed to experiment with color and type. The solid color background didnāt feel right. It captured the silliness of the story but I also wanted to capture the semi-serious āhow toā feel of the book. So I played with a border which gave it a hint of an educational vibe. The combo of an absurd title with a serious border felt like the perfect way to capture this bookās essence.
So yeah, thatās how this cover came to be!
Alright, thanks for sitting at the kid table with me today. I hope you enjoyed the meal. I had a lot of fun making it.
Until next time! Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your trying-not-to-pee-her-pants-in-excitement-about-this-book friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
Is it just me or did January feel like a million year slog? Normally I start the year with āLetās make this awesome!ā energy, but 2024 has begun with more of a āLetās make sure we actually get out of bedā energy.
Luckily my focus on cultivating kid table vibes has energized me on the challenging days. Just in case you need a little boost as well, here are some great kid table vibes from me to you:
Day dreaming (and night dreaming)
Iām a huge fan of Andy J. Pizza and his Creative Peptalk podcast. He recently shared this post on the importance of dreaming. Rather than rush into āsetting intentions and defining goals,ā Andy has decided to spend the beginning of the year dreaming. He calls it DREAMuary. I love it.
Day dreaming is something I do regularly. But night dreaming? Iāve always had insomnia and I hardly ever remember my dreams (unless they are super stressful). In the podcast, they talked about how if you write down something about your dreams when you wake up, even a fuzzy feeling or āI donāt remember my dream,ā youāll start to remember more. So Iām trying it. Because why not!
Iām curious: do you value dreaming? Do you remember your dreams?
Creative play
When Iām feeling creatively uninspired, it is usually because Iām struggling to maintain a spirit of play. Iāll be honest, December and January have NOT felt naturally playful for me. But Iāve found a few ways into play anyway:
Creating something not tied to my job. Iāve felt really energized by house projects lately. I mentioned in a previous post that we redid our closet which felt amazing. And set up a stand up desk. And this week we painted our living room wall a cozy dark blue. Here is a ābeforeā and a āduringā pic (Iāll eventually show you the āafterā pic when it is indeed after.)
Scheduling play time with other creators. Iāve started attending coworking sessions; not only do they offer dedicated play time, they also leave me feeling inspired by things other people share.
Relieving pressure by changing up my medium. I tried acrylic paint on tracing paper. It was weird. It was fun. It got me to paint without worrying about the end result.
And the BIG thing that consistently helps me is to āfill the wellā with creative inspiration which why I try to sit at the kid table every week with someone new.
That would have been a great natural transition if the big green button hadnāt interrupted it.
This week Iām sitting AT THE KID TABLE with childrenās book author-illustrator Ashley Bryan.
You might know Ashley Bryan for his colorful artwork and his many award-winning books like BEAUTIFUL BLACKBIRD and FREEDOM OVER ME. You might NOT know that he served in the Segregated Army during WWII or that he witnessed renowned cellist Pablo Casals break his vow of silent protest against a fascist dictatorship or that he was described as a quiet force who opened up opportunities for black creators and other marginalized groups throughout his career.
If you had the chance to witness an Ashley Bryan read aloud, you were one of the lucky ones (I wish I was a lucky one!). He read poetry like music, tapping his foot and clapping his hands, and his signature sound was an āuh huhā that punctuated the rhythm of his books. Kids loved to participate in his story times. He had a great respect for kids as artists and dedicated his life to encouraging them.
In this post, weāre going to dive into his life, his work, and his creative process. And oh boy will you come out of it filled to the brim with inspiration!
Note: You can listen to this as a podcast episode or read it below.
Learn from the greats: Ashley Bryan
1. Knock on doors until you receive encouragement.
Ashley Bryan was born in Harlem, New York in 1923. His parents were immigrants from the island of Antigua (and interestingly Bryan would later choose to live on a island). He grew up in the Bronx with his dad, mom, five siblings, and three cousins. His dad loved birds and often brought them home (like hundreds of them!) and both his parents loved music. His mom was always singing and his dad would play a variety of instruments with buddies. He credits these moments as one of the reasons why he loves to āemulateā and ācelebrate the craftsmanship of others.ā
Bryan fell in love with art very early. About this time, he said, āChildren often ask me the question, āDid you win big awards?ā And I always tell them, āYes, Iāve received many wonderful awards along the way. But the greatest reward was when I brought my little ABC book home from kindergarten (he made it himself) and my mother hugged me and my dad spun me around and my friends and family all clappedā¦It was on that recognition and on that support that I built.ā
His parents supported his passion for art in other ways as well. He said, āWhen I was very little, I began drawing right off. I canāt remember a time when I have not been drawing and painting. And at first I initiated it like a child. I drew on the sheets, on the walls, on the floor, and my dad said āNo no no no, you draw on paper,ā and he brought home paper from the print shop where he worked.ā
His parents couldnāt afford art classes during the Great Depression, but when the government offered free programs, his parents signed him up. He often expressed gratitude for supportive parents and teachers, but also understood some kids donāt receive that. He said, āI tell the children you need encouragement to grow. If you donāt get it at home, knock on your neighborās door. Keep knocking on doors until one of them opens up and encourages you because the things that you enjoy doing which are creative, thatās how you growā¦Keep going until you get that encouragement.ā
2. Surround yourself and your kids with books and art.
One of the ways Bryan developed his talent as an early age was by going to the library. Bryan and his siblings would fill empty orange crates in their home with library books and pretend they had their very own home library. Bryan often said to kids, āI know you go to the public library, you go to your school library, but are you building your own home library?ā He encouraged kids to make their own home libraries in any way they could, because āBooks in the home are very valuable and an important thing through life.ā
He also advocated for kidsā access to art. He argued that as children learned one art form, it gave them strength they could carry into other challenges and other areas of study. This is why he felt that when art programs are removed, it āleave[s] a child floundering with no sense of achievement in any area.ā He continued, āThereās no question about the arts as a part of being human and being a whole person. And itās unfortunate when they begin cutting programs in the arts because they are essential really if you are going to create a citizenry that you can be comfortable with, who will be contributors to a societyā¦youāll pay much more later when youāve cut those programs out.ā
3. Pay attention to those who have āturned the book aside.ā
About reading, Ashley Bryan said, āIt is one of the most creative things you can do, to read, because you engage the mind when you read. You create the scene. You create the instant. You can create the action. Everything about it is being created. And thatās why Iāve always said, a child who willā¦spend any time with a book, engaging actively in that way, creating a world out of those words, you donāt have to worry about them. Itās those who have turned the book aside, who have nothing to do with books anymore, those are the ones we have to work with and try to bring into it.ā
But how exactly do we do that? Bryan had a brilliant strategy.
4. To get someone excited to read, you must teach them how to listen.
Bryan believed every text has ādemands for the voice that the words on the page will ask.ā And that, āthe printed word in the book has a voice just as the printed note in music has a sound.ā But he noticed many elementary school children had ādissociated the sound of the voice with the printed word.ā They would only āpronounce the wordsā without hearing the voice or getting āthe meaning.ā He felt the best way to help kids was to āassociate the excitement of the voice with the book. That will bring them into becoming readers.ā
Bryan would often do an exercise with kids in which heād read a poem the opposite of how it should be read. A fast-paced poem in a slow voice. A soft poem in a loud voice. Things like that. He said, āthe students immediately see that you may be a good reader but the poet is not asking for that voice. So I try to demonstrate right off the importance of listening for the sound of the voice in the printed word. Because then the words are speaking to you. And when words are speaking to you, you are actively engaged. And then you get meaningā¦That is my emphasis wherever I go. Listen for the sound of the voice in the printed word.ā
5. You can transform your challenges into a way to help people.
Ashley Bryan knew at age 16 that the only way to art school was to get a scholarship, so he applied. He said their response was, āThis is the best portfolio we have seen but it would be a waste to give a scholarship to a colored person.ā Thankfully, his high school art teachers encouraged him to apply to Cooper Union where the entrance exam didnāt require them āto see youā and he was one of 50 people chosen for the program. He studied painting, calligraphy, sculpture, book illustration, and more.
He eventually became a teacher and provided the same encouragement he received to many students. One such student at Dartmouth College said, āIt was such an inspiration to see Ashley break down all kinds of barriers ā race, gender, and even biases about art itself ā in the most gentle way. He made a safe place for individual creativity.ā
In his books, he was passionate about bringing African folktales out of obscurity for a new audience; like his popular book BEAUTIFUL BLACKBIRD was inspired by a Zambian folktale in which the color black is celebrated. About this book he said, āI had grown up with black as a lousy color. In the folk tales where black comes into it, you come last. Thatās all thatās left. Thatās what you get. Here was a story celebrating black. So thatās how I did beautiful blackbird.ā
He was also inspired by spirituals, āthe songs of the African-American slavesā like This Little Light of Mine, Heās Got the Whole World In His Hands, and more. About these spirituals, he said, āI always felt the incredible gift of language to a people who are not permitted to learn to read or write and they could create songs based on what they heard from biblical stories and their own experiences and create a music that has just taken hold of people.ā He described poetry and spirituals as āthe heartā of his life ā the way he survived. Because of his passion, he advocated for āthese enduring popular songsā to receive āappropriate attribution.ā
And perhaps most poetically, later in his life, he became fascinated with collecting āthings cast offā which heād transform into beautiful stain-glass, murals, and hand-held puppets. This was reminiscent of his early years walking the streets in New York with his sister picking āup things that people had thrown out and [recreating] them. Taking something thatās cast off, that has no valueā¦and finding a way of bringing it back in another form.ā
Throughout his life, Ashley Bryan continuously transformed his experiences into ways to help others feel seen and valued.
6. You can use art to help you survive and process difficult experiences.
In 1943, during the last year of his art program at Cooper Union, Bryan was drafted into the segregated 502nd Port Battalion as a stevedore (which is someone who loads and unloads cargo from ships). Bryan described how, unlike white soldiers who were retired after one month, the black soldiers continued to work in the most dangerous areas āuntil the beach closed downā and that āmany white officers āwere not sympathetic to black peopleā¦and so you always had that to contend with while you maintained yourself.ā
When asked how he survived all that, he said āI was always drawing and that was the way I kept myself together. They were always telling me to stop drawing but I had my drawing materials in my backpack in the gas mask and whenever there was not a time to work, I would have out my sketch pad and I would be drawing.ā
Thatās why throughout his life, Bryan was so passionate about art. He said, āIt was always a way of being able to affirm something positive, even in the most difficult of situations. And thatās why I feel it is so wonderful for children to have that opportunity to make drawing and painting a part of their growing lives.ā
7. Do what feels right for you, even when others donāt understand.
After returning to New York after the war, he grappled with the warās impact; he said, āBecause of the war, I had been so spun aroundā¦it was such a devastating experience to see the deaths and destruction. To see citiesā¦just rubble. People so hungry and starving coming around the camps to get the food we tossed in garbage pansā¦It was such a terrible impression in terms of what you had to live with that I said, āWhy is it that with what we know of war that man continually chooses war?āā¦So I thought, āOh, Iāll study philosophy and I'll get answers.āā
His art friends thought he was crazy because they knew his studies at Columbia would leave little time for his art. But Bryan did it anyway: āI was intrigued by the way man thinks. I was intrigued by the systems of philosophy, of how they construct systems of ethics, of politics, of morality andā¦whether it's applicable or notā¦Just the the excitement of how the brain works to try and make things cohesive.ā
I love how Bryan listened to himself in this moment even though it didnāt necessarily make sense for his art career. Eventually, he finished his degree and then took a boat to an island where he spent all his days painting and never stopped.
8. Let your inspirations guide you.
Education. Art continued to be a big part of his healing process as he finished his studies at Cooper Union, accepted a summer scholarship to the prestigious Skowhegan School of Painting and Sculpture, and studied art in France.
Music. While studying in France, he witnessed world-renowned cellist Pablo Casals ābreak his vow of silent protest against Francoās fascist dictatorship in Spainā as he played āin honor of the 200th anniversary of Bachās death.ā This moment helped Bryanās healing process from the war, and he returned to the festival the next three years āto hear and sketch the musiciansā which he describes as an āopening of my hand to the rhythmsā of artistic expression.
Bryan said, āI love all music. I love from the classical to jazz to folk music whatever is amusing in sound because thatās where the child begins with music. Itās the music, the voice, the spirit of sound, of the rhythms that play into the way they move, the way they grow. Itās essential. Even the rhythm of our breathing. All of those play into the music of our lives.ā
Poetry. Not only was he inspired by music, he also loved poetry and was an amazing poet himself. He studied poetry in Germany because he wanted to ālearn the sound of Rilkeās words spoken in German.ā His experience was isolating at first, but he relied on drawing to help him adapt. He eventually made friends with the venders in the marketplace and would sketch scenes of their lives during the day and paint them at night.
Friends and family. Throughout all his life, he continued making books as gifts for family members and friends. Eventually, an editor at Atheneum Books, Jean Karl, heard of āthis guy in the Bronxā making books and, in 1962, impressed with his variety of styles āinspired by the cultures of the world,ā she offered him a contract to illustrate a book of poems which began an almost four-decade relationship and an impressive childrenās book career.
9. Write in a way that the reader can hear YOU in your words.
Bryan worked with a lot of African folktales and his overall question was always, āHow can I bring some thing of the feeling of the oral tradition into my writing?ā Poetry was his answer. He said, āI useā¦the rhyme, the rhythm, the syncopationā¦all of the devices of poetry work closely in my prose. What often a prose writer will avoid because they were trained to read more fluently, more directly, I am seizing upon and using in the way I write my stories. I would like my reader to feel even when reading my story silently that he or she can hear the storyteller. And so by using those devices of poetry, I open that up quite directly.ā
He often spoke about the importance of pattern and repetition in creating a connection with the reader. When he started an African folktale about a red hen, he knew it would feel like a familiar story to children in the United States and relied on that to create a connection with his words. About this strategy, he said, āThe anticipation is a wonderful aspect of storytellingā¦I think thatās why we go again and again to see plays weāve enjoyed played by different groups. Even though we know the outcome. But you are caught up in that pattern. And so thatās what Iāve enjoyed about storytelling, introducing not only the feeling of the voice but the rhythm, the different ways a storyteller is engaged and can make a real difference in what the word on the page says and how the voice will dramatize. It is very important in what I write.ā
10. Text and illustrations are companions.
Bryan could write poetry with both words and images. When crafting illustrations, he considered the images as āpartnersā with the story. āThey don't sit on the story, but they companion the story. They're a part of it.ā He described how when making TURTLE KNOWS YOUR NAME, he knew it had to be in the rich colors of the Caribbean and that the dancing granny was a big part of the energy of the book: āI wanted the rhythm of the dance, the spirit of the figure moving. So the whole point of that in the illustration was to keep that figure dancing. Dancing right through with swift brush paintingsā¦Each book evokes another way of seeing it, that is to partner the text, to carry the text along.ā
In all his books, he wanted to make sure the art was connected with something deeper: āIt was in that way that I could open up that connection for myself as the artist. Now you looking at it might not know this. That's not important. To me the motivation is important because that gives me the direction in which I would work.ā
11. Your environment impacts your work, so craft it carefully.
Bryan eventually moved to an island off the coast of Maine because it felt like home to him. He worked until midnight and was up every morning at five. Then heād read, go for a ābriskā walk ādown to the dock, look out across the ocean, look up at the sky, look to the sunrise,ā and then walk back and get to work. He loved ābeing surrounded by the water and having those essential elements always in view reminding one of what is life really.ā He described how in New York City, āyou can forget that there is a skyā and in the island, he āhardly ever [went] to bed without seeing how the sky [was] doingā and he loved that. Nature was an essential part of his creative process, and he described himself as an āall weatherā walker.
He created a workspace that inspired him ā puppets, art, and work from others ā he said, āI like to open the door and walk into a room where I can smile.ā He considered other people an important part of his environment and tried to craft a space that was open to what most people would call interruptions: āI regard everything as a part of what I doā¦.People are always free and welcomeā¦I don't call them interruptions, you see. It's important how your mind thinks about thingsā¦If I don't think of them as interruptions, then I know that I'm using it and, when I get to my work, it feeds into it...I've trained my mindā¦When you choose to do something, it makes all the difference. I mean you can want to be a good swimmer but you'll have to get up in college at six o'clock to swim before school begins at 8:30 or 9. Other people are sleeping till 8 o'clock but you have to get up at sixā¦Every day the coach knocks on the door. Well one dayā¦the coach comes and you're up and you're ready. You've taken it on yourself. It's no longer a burden. You're not groaning because you've chosen to do this.ā
12. Balance the connection with yourself and your audience.
Bryan always wanted to help young artists find a way to their own voice. He said, āThere are many young black artists coming along now but theyāre still a very small percentage of what's coming out in young people's literature. I mean it's hardly one percentā¦we're doing all we can to encourage more and more to come into it. In my doing of the work and meeting with groups throughout the country, I'm always hoping that I'm opening it upā¦establish something of their own cultural contributions so that they will have some sort of spirit about what they have to offerā¦We all live in a context, no matter how much I might work in a studio, so I'm thinking of my work in relation to audiencesā¦I have that responsibility ofā¦being in connection with what people are experiencing and feeling and can respond to. That's an important part of my workā¦I have to be careful that it doesn't over balance and that I don't do my own work because as my editor has said, āAshley, on the road you may meet thousands of people but a book will meet thousands more so get to those projects.ā
13. āWake up the child within you!ā
Bryan prioritized holding onto what he called āthe spirit of the child.ā Sometimes that is hard for adults to do so Iāve collected a few of Bryanās helpful strategies to keep the inner child alive.
* Remind yourself every morning. āNever lose the child within you. I wake up each morning reminding myself of the spirit of excitement, of adventure and discovery of a child. I feel as long as I can keep that in me, I have no age.ā
* Explore materials, ideas, and other peopleās art. āI try to be like a child in what I do. And a child explores with all sorts of materials and all sorts of ideas in many ways and so my books will vary and they are very influenced by the art of the world.ā
* Tap into the passion. āWhen I am doing my work, it is for other people. And I want you to get the very finest aspect of anything I can do in what I would offerā¦You always want to tap that essence of the love of what you are doing.ā
* Hang out with kids. āIāve loved working with children. At times I would leave the college level and work with kindergarten or first graders drawing and painting because I love their absorption in what they doā¦.That's what I would like to achieve. I would like to be working in such an absorbed way that there is no time.ā
* Seek out and celebrate other peopleās art. āI love to celebrate the artistry of people around the world in whatever material or form they work.ā
Ashley Bryan continued to make books, visit children, support humanitarian efforts, and encourage literacy until he passed away on February 4, 2022.
What I love the most about Bryan is how much he prioritized connection. When writing his autobiography, he described how he had to narrow down to the most important parts of his life. He chose the love of art, the love of environment, and the love of community. Isnāt it easy to see those values in his stories and his life?
I hope I can absorb the lessons I learned from him as I walk my own creative path.
Did you enjoy our study of Ashley Bryanās life and work? If you want to keep the party going, I compiled a list of sources I used on my blog.
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music as well as Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, and Angela Pham Krans for sponsoring this episode. To become a podcast sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting with me at the kid table. Until next time!
As always, Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your singing-uh-huh friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
I hope your week is off to a great start. If it isnāt, Iāve got some great kid table vibes for you. If it is, Iāve STILL got some great kid table vibes for you. This week, Iām seeing:
Excitement about the little things
Iām so excited because Iām writing this while standing up. Why? Because I finally found the perfect stand up desk that doesnāt cost a million dollars! (Did you know they usually cost a million dollars ā give or take a few?) Just in case any of you are in the same boat as me (it is a cheap boat all about getting a stand up desk without having to buy one), here is the link (I wish I could have found one somewhere other than Amazon but alasā¦no luck).
Itās basically a flap that you can attach to your wall that holds your laptop and when you arenāt using it, it lays flat against the wall so it doesnāt take up unnecessary space. I put a treadmill under mine. The space is still in progress but this is a huge step!
BFF energy
I love this Oscar moment between Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh. Which person do you think won the award?
Michelle Yeoh! BFF kid table vibes look like JLC.
This week I feel honored because I get to be a JLC for a friend whose been a JLC for me in countless ways. CONGRATULATIONS TO ANGELA PHAM KRANS for winning the prestigious Asian/Pacific American Picture Book Honor Award! If you havenāt read Finding Papa, I highly recommend it. (Thi Buiās illustrations will knock your socks off.)
The big green button is also a huge Angela fan.
Honoring the funny
Earlier this week, I was chatting on Substack Notes with the talented illustrator Eliza Kinkz about how it would be so cool to have a comedy award in childrenās booksā¦and THEN the very next day her AMAZING illustrations from PapĆ”'s Magical Water-Jug Clock by JesĆŗs Trejo won the Pura BelprĆ© Youth Illustration Honor. Sending some JLC vibes to Eliza as well! I love it when comedy genius is honored!
Honest feelings
Award seasons can come with a lot of feelings ā excitement, jealousy, hope, fear, anxiety, perfectionism, happy tears, discouragement, etc. Iām guessing because I donāt have any books out yet (not until October 15! Woot woot!), I havenāt experienced some of the challenging emotions associated with the awards (yetā¦dun dun dun). BUT those feelings are human and Iāve experienced them in other ways. If you are feeling any of those things (related to an award or not), I highly recommend reading this post by Jacob Souva about great ways to handle it (definitely subscribe to his newsletter full of gold).
What kid table vibes are you loving lately?
This week, Iām sitting at the kid table withā¦
ā¦childrenās book author-illustrator Maurice Sendak! Again!
Thank you so much for all the love you gave part one. It makes me happy that I get to geek out about the stuff I love with you. Somehow in the first week, weāve already hit 200 podcast downloads. I had no idea what that meant, so I looked it up and supposedly that means weāre in the top 25% of podcasts! Wow! Whether that is actually true or not, thanks for listening :)
Alright, shall we dive in to part two? (I canāt hear you, so Iām going to assume you said yes.)
Note: You can listen to this as a podcast episode or read it below.
Learning from the great Maurice Sendak: Part Two
Welcome to part two of our Maurice Sendak study. Part one was all about his life, influences, and work. (You can check out part one here.) For part two, weāre exploring eight things I learned from his creative process and philosophy. Whether you are a reader, a book maker, or a cool cat looking for inspiration, I crafted this episode to have something jazzy just for you.
8 THINGS I LEARNED FROM MAURICE SENDAK
1: Telling the truth is a risk worth taking.
Sendakās storytelling is best summed up in his words: āI think what Iāve offered was different but not because I drew better than anybody or wrote better than anybody but because I was more honest than anybody. And in the discussion of children and the lives of children and the fantasies of children and the language of children, I said anything I wanted toā¦I donāt believe in this demarkation like āyou mustnāt tell them thatāā¦If itās true, you tell them.ā
Well, he definitely told the truth about anger and the difficulty of parent-child relationships in Where the Wild Things Are, andā¦it received pretty bad reviews at first. Sendak responded to the backlash in his Caldecott Medal acceptance speech (yes, most people came around eventually) by sharing his dislike of āhalf-trueā childrenās books that offer āa gilded world unshadowed by the least suggestion of conflict or pain, a world manufactured by those who cannotāor donāt care toāremember the truth of their own childhood.ā He argued that these books were more concerned with not frightening adults and had āno relation to the way real children live.ā
Using Where The Wild Things Are as an example, he concluded: āThe common wish to protect children from their everyday fears and anxieties [is] a hopeless wish that denies the childās endless battle with disturbing emotionsā¦The book doesnāt say that life is constant anxiety. It simply says that life has anxiety in it.ā
I love his speech so much because I think we are often afraid that telling the truth means hopelessness. But for Sendak, telling the truth meant acknowledging that darkness and light exist together and that true hope comes from representing both on the page.
After reading Wild Things, the great writer and mythology genius Joseph Campbell said he loved it because, āIt is only when a man tames his own demons that he becomes the king of himself, not the world.ā Sendak consistently took risks by facing his demons and sharing the truth about his experiences. To this day, his stories allow kids a safe space to do the same.
2: Always remember you donāt know anything.
When interviewers asked him questions like, āWhat makes a good childrenās book?ā he always answered the same way. āWell how would I know?ā
It seems to me like this allowed him to maintain a learner mindset throughout his life.
Which actually leads me to the next oneā¦
3: You are never too old to learn.
āItās a constant fountain, a source of refreshment, to go to the masters. They have done so much that we can learn from.ā
Throughout his life, Sendak loved learning from others. Even in the last few years of his life, he was talking with interviewers about what he was reading or listening to and describing the stories he wanted to tell. He took inspiration from books, comics, plays, music, and family and his studio was full of objects āto keep in the mood of whateverā he was working on. (Like a fragile brontosaurus his nephew built for him.)
Sendak was an atheist but he considered some of his inspirations as āwonderful gods who have gotten me through the narrow straits of life.ā
He especially loved William Blake, partly because he couldnāt fully understand him. āI guess itās the way his profound belief in something sounds kind of idiotic but I believe him. I believe in his passion.ā
He delighted in Mozart: ā I am in conjunction with something I can't explainā¦I don't need to. I know that if there's a purpose for life, it was for me to hear Mozart.ā
He carried a pocket book of Emily Dickinson everywhere he went. āShe is so brave. She is so strong. She is such a passionate little woman. [After reading three poems], I feel better,ā he said.
He loved Alice in Wonderland so much that he stole a copy from his cousin. āItās a terrifying book; itās a nightmare. That to me comes as close to the world of childhood as great books do. Carroll was allowing for nightmare, murderous impulses. I donāt know why he got away from it. He told the truth about childhood, about how unsafe it was.ā
Interestingly, he disliked Peter Pan because of āthe sentimental idea that anybody would want to remain a boyā¦this was a conceit that could only occur in the mind of a very sentimental writer that any child would want to remain in childhood. Itās not possible. The wish is to get out.ā
But every creator he admired had the same quality: what he called āauthentic liveliness.ā
(For those interested, some other inspirations included Schubert, Hugo Wolfe, Palmer, Proust, Eliot, Middlemarch, Randolph Caldecott, George Cruikshank, Ludwig Richter, Wilhelm Busch, A. B. Frost, Edward Windsor Kemble, Ernst Kreidolf, Hans Fischer, AndrƩ FranƧois, Watteau, Goya, Winslow Homer, Mahler, Beethoven, Wolf, Wagner, Verdi, Walt Disney, James, Stendhal, D. H. Lawrence, and Melville.)
4: Let your other obsessions inform your work.
Animation was a big inspiration for his work. He loved making his illustrations dance off the page like a flip book.
Music was also a major part of his process; Sendak couldnāt live without a record player, and the music he listened to informed his work. He said, āDepending on what Iām doing at the moment, there is always a specific kind of music I want to listen to. All composers have different colors as all artists do. And I kind of pick up the right color from either Haydn or Mozart or Wagner while Iām working. And very often I will switch recordings endlessly until I get the right color and the right note and the right sound and then settle down happily into whatever Iām doing.ā
He often drew parallels between art forms. Like one night he was listening to Wagnerās āDie Meistersingerā and though he knew it by heart, this time he heard something fresh. He explained that Wagner āin some mysterious way, had made the atmosphereāthe very night airāof Nuremberg into music. I could see the city and smell it. And thatās the kind of thing I want to convey in my illustrations. The pictures should be so organically akin to the text, so reflective of its atmosphere, that they look as if they could have been done in no other way. They should help create the special world of the story. When this kind of drawing works, I feel like a magician, because Iām creating the air for a writer.ā
Isnāt the idea of creating the air so beautiful?
5: Understand your why.
Sendak didnāt like the term āchildrenās booksā and preferred ābooks that children like.ā He said, āI donāt write for children. I donāt write for adults. I just write.ā He often said things like he didnāt believe in childhood at all. There are many interpretations of his philosophy, but when taken together, I think he meant he believes in children as whole people with complicated interior lives, capable of feeling all the big feelings an adult experiences. He didnāt like it how they were dismissed as āchildren.ā Basically he wanted them to get more credit.
Here are a few quotes to back that up:
* āThere is something about this country that is so opposed to understanding the complexity of children. Itās quite amazing.ā
* āIāve always had a deep respect for children and how they solve complex problems by themselves. [And how do they?] Through shrewdness, fantasy, and just plain strength. They want to survive. They want to survive.ā
* āGrown-ups desperately need to feel safe, and then they project onto the kids. But what none of us seem to realize is how smart kids are. They donāt like what we write for them, what we dish up for them, because itās vapid, so theyāll go for the hard words, theyāll go for the hard concepts, theyāll go for the stuff where they can learn something, not didactic things, but passionate things.ā
But here is also a quote that makes it all quite confusing:
* āI donāt write for children. I write. And somebody says, thatās for children. I didnāt set out to make children happy or make life better for them or easier for them. [Do you like them?] I like them as few and far between as I do adults. Maybe a bit more because I really donāt like adults.ā
But then hereās another quote that clears it up:
* āYou cannot write for children. Theyāre much too complicated. You can only write books that are of interest to them.ā
What a rollercoaster! I think heās saying that he doesnāt feel like his books are meant to provide answers or teach kids. Heās just trying to write an interesting book thatās truthful. Because thatās great literature and thatās what they deserve.
6: Respect your audience, especially your inner child.
Sendak didnāt idealize childhood at all. He said, āToo many parents and too many writers of childrenās books donāt respect the fact that kids know a great deal and suffer a great deal.ā And he believed, āthe magic of childhood is the strangeness of childhood.ā
He remembered being āa creature without power, without pocket money, without escape routes of any kind [who] didnāt want to be a child.ā Because of this, he always tried to ādraw the way children feelā instead of focusing on what he called āthe naturalistic beauty of a child.ā
When talking about the process of trying to honor the child, he said (long quote but worth it): āAll I have to go on is what I knowānot only about my childhood then but about the child I was as he exists now. You see, I donāt believe, in a way, that the kid I was grew up into me. He still exists somewhere, in the most graphic, plastic, physical wayā¦One of my worst fears is losing contact with him. I donāt want this to sound coy or schizophrenic, but at least once a day I feel I have to make contact.ā
He continued, āThe pleasures I get as an adult are heightened by the fact that I experience them as a child at the same time. Like, when autumn comes, as an adult I welcome the departure of the heat, and simultaneously, as a child would, I start anticipating the snow and the first day it will be possible to use a sled.ā
He explained that it wasnāt always easy to connect with his inner child. When his creative process wasnāt going well, he said: āI get a sour feeling about books in general and my own in particular. The next stage is annoyance at my dependence on this dual apperception, and I reject it. Then I become depressed. When excitement about what Iām working on returns, so does the child. Weāre on happy terms again. Being in that kind of contact with my childhood is vital to me, but it doesnāt make me perfectly certain I know what Iām doing in my work.ā
Even after winning the Caldecott, Sendak didnāt let an award affect his deep respect of children. He said, āWhy would any book be good for all children? I mean no grown up book is good for all people so we mustnāt assume that a book that won a Caldecott is appropriate for every child reading it.ā
But he did love it whenever a child would react positively to his work. He said when creating books his first priority was to always āreach and keep hold of the child in meā and second to reach his audience.
7: Respect the object.
To facilitate the best reading experience, Sendak believed books needed to be designed and treated like a beautiful objects. He said, āReading is a physical actā¦.Every book that is manufactured should have textures and qualities and smells as though it were a toy. As though it were something precious. And then when youāre read to by a parentā¦you have the whole thingā¦.parent, child, and book fusion. Thatās something television or any other form cannot give a human being.ā
His deep respect for the object included bookmaking. He said, āIf one picks up a book and is dazzled by the beauty of the book and nothing else, one has failedā¦.It should harmonize so that you cannot separate the book from the binding, the endpapers, the title page, the typeface on the title pace, the frontispiece. It should all become so blended, so uniform that the feeling is that there is positively no other way this possible could have been done.ā
Doesnāt that inspire you to learn more about book-making? Iāll never look at a book the same way again.
8: Respect the craft.
Because of his respect for his audience and the form, Sendak took his craft very seriously. He asked himself, āWhy would a child turn the page? A child isnāt polite. I mean adults will conscientiously read a book they donāt like because they feel they should. Children donāt feel any such compulsion. If they hate the first two pages, its āwhamoā against the wall. They donāt care if its won 18 Caldecott awardsā¦so youāve got to catch them. Youāve got to catch them in a rhythmic pattern, a syncopation that makes them turn that page.ā
Continuing with the music metaphor, he said, āYou got to catch them with your metronome right from the start so they syncopate with the bookā¦Children hum and move when theyāre reading a book and theyāre turning pages and looking for pictures. The timing has to be intuitive to an incredible degree.ā
This is why he called writing ātremendously difficultā and spoke of the incredible patience making books required as sometimes it took him 5-10 years to complete a book. What kept him going? His āpermanent dissatisfaction,ā the need in him āto achieve something of incredible height for [his] sake,ā and the fact it made him happy. He said, ā[Making books] is the only true happiness Iāve ever ever ever endured in my life. Itās sublime. Its just going into another room and making pictures. Itās magic time. Where all your weaknesses of character and blemishes of personality and whatever else torments you fades away.ā
Perhaps my favorite quote from him on craft is this: āThe art of illustrating is like any other art, the art of growing up into oneself.ā
I hope you enjoyed our study of Maurice Sendak. I learned so much and felt so inspired; I hope you did too.
If you want more Sendak, I received a bunch of additional resources from wonderful commenters and compiled them here on my blog (youāll see a section at the bottom called āAdditional resources recommended to me by cool people).
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music as well as Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, and Angela Pham Krans for sponsoring this episode. To become a podcast sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription.
Thanks for sitting with me at the kid table. Until next time!
As always, Iāll save you a seat right next to me.
Your exploring-ways-she-can-connect-with-her-inner-child friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Oh hi there!
Iāve got some great kid table vibes for you. You ready? The forecast for this week is ā holds finger in the air to check the currentsā
FROLICKING
Iām trying to get to know my new home and my favorite way to do that is to frolic through the magical trees. On Monday, we visited Scenic Beach State Park since it was free for the holiday. You can see the water peeking out from behind us.
NEW HATS
In a previous newsletter, I mentioned that when we moved in, we found a cow waiting for us. She wasnāt our style but we couldnāt let her go. She blesses us with cowbells as we walk through the door. Weāve now updated her hat, and I think she looks great.
The big green button wishes it could wear hats but it doesnāt have the face for it.
A WILD RUMPUS
Aaron and I have never been DIYers but we didnāt let that stop us from demolishing our closet with a hammer. The shelves were saggy and the space was poorly designedā¦so we absolutely destroyed it (muahaha!). Then we filled in the holes with putty, painted over everything, and installed metal racks. If I had been smart, I would have taken a before and after photo. But I took two āduringā photos and hopefully that is good enough (if not, you can have your people call my people).
CRYING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE
Iāve been feeling sad lately for many reasons, and sometimes I have the tendency to keep anything but happiness to myself. But luckily some amazing people in my life have offered a safe space for me to feel all the feelings. Occasionally being a blubbering mess is an important staple of the kid table.
THE AGONY OF WAITING FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT
Iām about to receive an updated PDF of my debut picture book HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY) which will include the jacket cover, case cover, and interiors with text. And, when it all gets approved, Iāll get to share the cover with you!!!
READING FOR FUN
I got rid of my goodreads account (except for the new one I created to leave reviews for friendsā books). I am not tracking my reading anymore, and Iām loving it. Here are some recs:
* The Story of Gumlock the Wizard by Adam Rex
* Eerie Tales from the School of Screams by Graham Annable
* The Swifts: A Dictionary of Scoundrels by Beth Lincoln
And some wonderful picture books Iāve read that I recommend preordering now:
* The Blue Pickup by Natasha Tripplett and Monica Mikai
* At the End of the Day by Lisļ»æl H. Detlefsen and Lynnor Bontigao
* Baoās Doll by
Boās Substack
* Spider in the Well by
Jess Hannigan
What kid table vibes are you loving in your corner of the world?
This week, Iām sitting at the kid table withā¦
ā¦childrenās book author-illustrator Maurice Sendak!
You probably know him for his beloved Caldecott award winning book Where the Wild Things Are. But you might not know that he was obsessed with death (to the point his friends teased him about it), he hated book signings, he had a reputation for being a lovable curmudgeon, and he was Stephen Colbertās favorite interview of all time. So letās get to know him a little more, shall we?
Note: You can listen to this as a podcast episode or read it below.
Learning from the great Maurice Sendak: Part One
Part one will include an overview of his life with a focus on the things that influenced his work. Part two (next week) will include the eight things I learned from him about the creative process, making books, and life in general. Here we go!
I love Maurice Sendak becauseā¦
Where the Wild Things Are has always been a huge inspiration for me. As a kid growing up in an unsafe emotional environment, he gave me a safe space to express myself. My wildness. My anger. All while knowing that someone was waiting for me at home with dinner āand it was still hotā ā a gift of love and true acceptance from the story to me.
He took emotional risks.
I decided to do this deep dive research because I wanted to understand what inspired Sendak to take such emotional risks on the page at a time when there werenāt many books representing imperfect moms and angry kids. My research led me to discover many things that informed his work including a difficult childhood, an obsession with death, and a commitment to tell the truth to kids.
He advocated for children.
In his own curmudgeonly way, he was a fierce advocate for children as whole people with complicated, intense emotional experiences. I felt that respect as a kid when I read his books. And I hope to offer that respect now as I make books for kids.
WHO IS MAURICE SENDAK?
CHILDHOOD
āIt was the awareness at a very early age of mortality which pervaded my soul and provided me with the basic ingredients of being an artist.ā
Maurice Sendak was born June 10, 1928 in Brooklyn, New York. He was named after the doctor who helped his mom when he was born. His family called him Murray.
His parents were Jewish-Polish immigrants who were working to bring their families over. His father was a tailor which later influenced Sendak to design costumes. Overall he had a difficult relationship with his parents: āThere was no art to child life in my family. They couldnāt figure out life at all. My mom shouldnāt have had children. She didnāt care for children.ā
Sendakās father described him as a happy baby, coming out āalmost laughingā¦like a little bell.ā Sendak later said, āWhat a start. What a good beginning. What a hopeful sign that was. What did they do? Break the bell?ā
Despite his difficult relationship with his parents, he loved his sister and brother and called them his chosen parents. They gave him books and enriched his life with creativity including dynamic wooden toys they made together (which Sendak had in his studio). Creativity helped him survive.
Being sick all the time led to a love of observing, drawing, and telling stories.
As a child, Sendak was often sick and spent most time indoors, observing other childrenās lives through the window. This later influenced his books which were full of windows and movie-like frames. He also spent a lot of time reading comics and drawing and he especially loved Mickey Mouse. He wanted to become an artist after seeing Fantasia; animation was a huge inspiration for him throughout his life.
Confronting fear and death at an early age gave him a deep respect for children.
Self-described as a ārigid kid,ā he was often in a state of fear and anxiety. When he started attending school, he found it uncomfortable: āNearly every morning, in order to get there, I had to talk myself out of a state of panicā¦I couldnāt stand being cloistered with other children, and I was usually so embarrassed that I stammered.ā
He was scared of his momās Hoover vacuum cleaner to the point that he had to go to the neighborās house when it was in use. He also watched Invisible Man which, according to him, made him an insomniac for the rest of his life as no one could prove the invisible man wasnāt lurking.
But what scared him more than anything was death.
Sendak was forced to confront mortality at a very young age.
* His father told him he was an āaccident babyā and that they had tried to abort him using toxic things because they couldnāt afford him.
* When he got sick, his parents often expressed that he could die: "I think a lot of children are afraid of death. But I was afraid because I heard it around me. I was very ill; I had scarlet feverā¦my parents were afraid I wouldn't survive."
* He became obsessed with the Lindbergh baby kidnapping after seeing a graphic newspaper image at age two. He realized bad things could happen to anyone and said, āIt invested me in children forever.ā This experience eventually influenced his book Outside Over There.
* As his parents saved money, they were able to bring over most of Sendakās momās family out of Europe, but by the time they started trying to help his dadās, it was impossible to get his Jewish family out of Europe. The entire extended family was tragically killed in the concentration camps. Because of this, Sendakās parents carried a lot of guilt, and Sendak explains that, in not knowing how to handle it, they took it out on their children.
* Sendak also carried personal guilt with him from a tragedy that happened to his childhood friend whom he witnessed run into traffic to retrieve a ball. Though his friendās mom expressed that his friendās death wasnāt his fault, Sendak carried the experience with him his whole life. Even into his 80s, he struggled to talk about it.
As an adult, Sendak was teased by friends about how often he talked about death. But when you see the events of his life, you can understand why he carried death with him everywhere. These experiences shaped the way he lived, the way he created, and the way he thought about childhood.
YOUNG ADULT YEARS
He got his big break from the great editor Ursula Nordstrom.
Sendak worked at a toy store and took art classes at night. His first jobs also included textbook illustrations and window dressing where he was introduced to childrenās book editor Ursula Nordstrom. Sendak said, āShe made me who I am. She gave me a book every year. She kept me working. Can you imagine? Mentorship from a publishing house. She intended that I should be an important illustrator.ā
When Sendak was experiencing self-doubt, Nordstrom replied: āYou may not be Tolstoy, but Tolstoy wasnāt Sendak, either. You have a vast and beautiful genius.ā Under her mentorship, eventually Sendak was able to quit his other jobs and work on childrenās books full time.
ADULT YEARS
He made many award-winning books that forever changed the childrenās book industry.
For many years, he illustrated othersā books and developed a reputation as an incredible artist. Then he started writing his own books and, in 1963, won a Caldecott Medal for his well known classic picture book, Where the Wild Things Are. Over the course of his 60 year career, he made over 150 books and sold more than 50 million copies in 40 languages. He won many other awards as well like the Hans Christian Andersen Award, the Laura Ingalls Wilder Award, the Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award, the National Medal of Arts, seven Caldecott Honors, and a National Book Award.
He followed his other passions and built a rich creative life.
In addition to making books, Sendak also designed costumes and sets for operas and ballets including KrĆ”saās Brundibar, Mozartās The Magic Flute, Prokoļ¬evās The Love for Three Oranges, Engelbert Humperdinckās Hansel and Gretel, and Tchaikovskyās ballet The Nutcracker. He also wrote the lyrics for the musical animated production of his book Really Rosie in collaboration with Carole King.
Later he was credited as a producer for the movie version of Where the Wild Things are where he especially worked on character design with Jim Henson Studios. He loved the movie.
Sendak maintained a private personal life.
During much of his career, he kept his personal life private. He had a 50-year partnership with psychoanalyst Eugene David Glynn who worked primarily with youth. They enjoyed reading books, traveling, and listening to music together.
Sendak explained that being a gay man in childrenās books felt ādangerousā and created a lot of anxiety for him: āIt was something you hid. I must have been 19 or 20 when it became obvious to me.ā In other interviews, he said, āI didnāt want to be gayā¦It was yet another sign of isolation,ā and āI was worried that that knowledge if it were to come out would ruin my career.ā Sendak never told his parents but eventually came out publicly in 2008.
Sendak never really wanted kids of his own (except maybe once) and expressed many times that he was glad he didnāt so he could devote himself to his art. He did have a beloved dog named Jenny who was featured in many of his books and a German Shepherd named Herman (named after Melville) that kept him company after Eugene passed away in 2007.
He never stopped learning.
Sendak expressed that the only time he felt true happiness was creating books. He continued learning from his muses, making books, and finding inspiration until he passed away in 2012 at the age of 83 after suffering a stroke.
Here are some of his beautiful words from one of his last interviews (I definitely recommend a listen here):
* āAlmost certainly Iāll go before you go so I wonāt have to miss you.ā
* āIām a happy old man but I will cry my way all the way to the grave.ā
* āThere are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die. But Iām ready. Iām ready. Iām ready.ā
A FEW FUN FACTS ABOUT WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
* Originally called Where the Wild Horses Are until Sendak realized he couldnāt draw horses
* Chose āThingsā because he could draw anything and no one could critique him for not drawing it right
* Sendak felt like his style hadnāt solidified until this book ā his influences melded together in a way that became more him
* The wild things were based on his Jewish relatives who said things like, āYouāre so cute I could eat you up.ā
* About the book, he said: āHow many people have a five year old child care for their fathers all through his life? That kid in the silly wool suit has made my life pleasurable. Not many people have children who are so financially dependable. Which has allowed me to invest in all kinds of experimental work. One should be happy to have one book like that.ā
* Lots of people asked him to do a second book. He found that āthe most boring idea imaginable.ā
* āThe fun of that book is a perilous tightrope of a little boy very vulnerable to these huge creatures and the absurdity of his having control of them by staring into their yellow eyes. Itās what every child would like, to have control over such things. Kids are not afraid of them because Max is not afraid of them.ā
* āI think Max is my truest creation. Like all kids, he believes in a world where a child can skip from fantasy to reality in the conviction that both exist.ā
For more fun facts about his other books and a list of sources I used, you can check out my blog post here.
A FEW FINAL FUNNY ANECDOTES:
* My favorite interview Iāve ever watched in my whole life is this one with Stephen Colbert and Maurice Sendak. It is irreverent and witty and curmudgeonly. Here is Part One. Here is Part Two.
* Sendak hated signing books because he thought it was āsocial nonsenseā and he often unintentionally made kids cry; they didnāt understand who he was or why he was drawing all over their books. One time a kid yelled, āDonāt crap up my book!ā Sendak called the kid courageous and said, āIt was the bravest cry Iāve ever heard. I nearly wept.ā
* One kid wrote him: āDear Mr. Sendak, How much does it cost to get to where the wild things are? If it is not expensive, my sister and I would like to spend the summer there.ā
* Sendak shared: āA little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children's letters - sometimes very hastily - but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, 'Dear Jim: I loved your card.' Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said: 'Jim loved your card so much he ate it.' That to me was one of the highest compliments I've ever received. He didn't care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.ā
For bonus content and a list of sources, you can go to my blog. Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for our podcast music as well as Joanna Rowland, Marietta Apollonio, and Angela Pham Krans for sponsoring this episode. To become a podcast sponsor, you can upgrade to a paid newsletter subscription here.
Thanks for sitting with me at the kid table :)
Until next time! As always, Iāll save you a seat next to me.
Your starting-a-wild-rumpus friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Today we get to sit next to Canadian nature enthusiast, cat lover, and childrenās book author-illustrator Celia Krampien! Throughout our chat, I felt inspired by Celiaās learner mindset. She said she often doesnāt feel good at things at first but her āquiet stubbornnessā gives her the confidence that she can always learn to do better.
In this episode, she shares:
* How she found the courage to try new things (like figure skating) and change her career mid-degree
* How she learned to not let the rejections keep her down
* How she crafted a setting that feels like a character in her debut novel
* How reading books that you love is the best way to learn how to write a novel
You will leave this episode inspired to approach new opportunities with a learner mentality! So grab your juice box, pull up a chair, and come chat with us AT THE KID TABLE (here, spotify, or apple podcasts).
Also I highly recommend connecting with Celia on her website and preeordering THE BELLWOODS GAME and FIONA BUILDS A FAIRYHOUSE here! (This is my affiliate link that will take you to Bookshop.org)
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend. If you get three people to subscribe, you (and your book) get a podcast shoutout!
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode. You can also get a podcast shoutout by becoming a paid subscriber.
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today! Iāll save you a seat next time.
Your ready-to-learn-something-new friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
This week AT THE KID TABLE we sit next to animated film lover, board gamer, cut paper collagist, and childrenās book author-illustrator Breanna Carzoo!
In this episode, Breanna shares:
* How a mislabelled shy kid who loved acting chose courage instead of fear to pursue a passion for storytelling
* The inspiration behind her beloved LOU and upcoming GREENLIGHT about powerless inanimate objects who discover the power in themselves and what makes them special
* And why she prioritizes a life outside of publishing
You will leave this episode feeling inspired to trust yourself and move forward with courage even when you donāt know the outcome. Listen to it here, spotify, or apple podcasts.
Also I highly recommend connecting with Breanna on her website and purchasing her books from your local independent bookstore.
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend.
Thanks to Angela Pham Krans for being such a wonderful cohost, Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music, and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode. If you would like to sponsor an episode, become a paid subscriber, and weāll give you (and your book) a shoutout.
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today! Iāll save you a seat next time.
Your seeing-myself-in-inanimate-objects-everywhere-now friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
We had so much fun chatting with author-illustrator Isabella Kung. Her books NO FUZZBALL and NO SNOWBALL are hilarious read-alouds full of cat personality. I highly recommend purchasing these books from your local independent bookstore.
One of my favorite quotes from Isabella is: āThe more I am brave enough to explore and have fun, the more my inner child emerges.ā
Isnāt that beautiful?
We also talked about:
* How Isabella made her own kid table as a kid by joining strangersā tables
* Her path to art school (including adventures with host families in the United States)
* Her struggle with perfectionism and tricks she uses to keep her playfulness and creativity alive
* How she organizes her schedule to juggle all the eggs in her basket (books, illustration, teaching, social media, etsy shop, etc.)
* How she changed her mindset to overcome the creative block she experienced in the last few years
* How to write sequels, create lovable characters, and craft great read-alouds that kids will participate in (even to the point of losing their voices)
You can connect with Isabella through the links on her website and purchase NO FUZZBALL and NO SNOWBALL from your local independent bookstore!
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend.
Thanks to Angela Pham Krans for being such a wonderful cohost, Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music, and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode. If you would like to sponsor an episode, become a paid subscriber, and weāll give you (and your book) a shoutout.
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today! Iāll save you a seat next time.
Your armed-with-amazing-new-tricks-to-manage-her-perfectionism friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Hi there,
I have some exciting news. AT THE KID TABLE is now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! You can now listen here on substack and/or subscribe wherever you usually listen to podcasts.
In this episode, award-winning childrenās book author Stephen BriseƱo chats with us about:
* Eating menudo and other delicious Mexican food at the kid table with his family
* Discovering writing as a safe way to express himself as a shy kid
* Using his love of movies as inspiration for his stories and his craft
* Writing as a hunk of clay that you shave away
* Studying mentor texts in an effective way
* Empowering kids through representation
* Writing from the Mexican-American perspectiveāalways
And you donāt want to miss the four questions he uses to evaluate a story!
Purchase THE NOTEBOOK KEEPER and preorder QUEEN OF LEAVES from your local independent bookstore!
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend.
Thanks to Angela Pham Krans for being such a wonderful cohost, Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode. If you would like to sponsor an episode, become a paid subscriber, and weāll give you a shoutout!
Thanks for sitting with me! Iāll save you a seat for next time.
Your wanting-to-try-menudo friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
In this episode, childrenās book debut author-illustrator Marietta Apollonio chatted with me about:
* How miraculous it is that kids made it through the 80s
* How boredom (like selling mattresses at a mattress store) leads to creativity
* The importance of being supported by a community and giving back when good things happen
* Feeling your feelings after rejection before diving in to learn from it
* Saying āwhy notā to new opportunities
* Living your kid dreams. Get on that horse and take those karate lessons!
* How to make an awesome book trailer
Check out Mariettaās website and instagram. And preorder JACK THE LIBRARY CAT from your local independent bookstore!
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend.
Thanks to Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode.
If you would like to sponsor an episode, become a paid subscriber and weāll give you a shoutout!
Thanks for sitting with me! Iāll save you a seat for next time.
Your ready-to-say-why-not-to-the-next-opportunity friend,
Rachel
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Hello there!
Iāve been thinking a lot about friendship and how much of a struggle itās been my whole life. I always thought I was just bad at it. But the more I share my experiences, the more I learn that EVERYONE struggles with friendships. Kids. Teens. Adults. Maybe even you?
So I decided to dedicate this newsletter to the frustrations and beauty of friendships. Share some of my vulnerable moments and epiphanies. Delight in the awkward and celebrate the miraculous moments of connection Iāve felt along the way.
My hope is that by sharing a few of my experiences, some of you may feel more accepted and less alone too. So here we go!
I hear big green buttons make good friends.
Friendship snapshots
2-4 years old
My mom was a single parent and often needed to put my sister and me in daycare, so she could work. This gave me a strong social foundation. I was friends with everyone. Carefree. Adaptable. Open.
Truth: People can love you.
I was trying so hard to smile right that I forgot how to smile at all ;)
But then I had some difficult family stuff happen, and my biological father left us. I felt abandoned and rejected. It was the first time I learned that people could really hurt me, and I felt afraid a lot of the time.
Truth: People can hurt you.
My sister Andria and I at a family Christmas pageant.
5-8 years old
I was bullied at school. It didnāt help that I had to wear giant glasses with bifocals to help correct my lazy eye. Then my mom got remarried and my five new step-siblings didnāt like me. School wasnāt safe. Home wasnāt safe. I found my safe space in books.
Truth: You can always find a safe space (and a friend) in books.
My blended family
Through all the rejection, I developed a lot of anxiety. I didnāt realize it was anxiety until my 20s as it manifested as good grades, responsible behavior, and emotional maturityāall celebrated qualities by the adults around me. To express and process those big emotions, I would write and paint and make funny videos and sew and play piano and dance. Now that I look back, I can see that creativity taught me how to transform my fears into something beautiful. It gave me the courage to leave my toxic bully āfriendsā and take a chance on others again.
Truth: Creating something takes courage. So does friendship.
They called themselves the cheetah girls. This could be a mean girls poster haha.
9-11 years old
I entered fifth grade determined to be a friend to everyone I met. I reached out to others and thrived at school and extracurricular activities. I found a supportive group of friends. I remember my proudest achievement that year was winning the Hope of America award. For me it was a symbol that, though things at home were rocky and I was facing constant rejection from my step-siblings, I could determine my own life.
Truth: Being a friend is more powerful than hoping for friends.
12-14 years old
Then middle school happened. Almost all my friends went to a different school. My best friend started to get into makeup and boys and being popular while I just wanted to keep having silly dance parties and making funny videos together (Iām still like this!). One day, she suddenly stopped talking to me. I remember visiting her house and bawling, āWhy donāt you want to be my friend anymore?ā as she sat in silence. I never understood what happened. My family stuff got even more overwhelming as my parents separated. At school, I felt connected to individuals but always on the outside of the group. It seemed like all the rules of friendship had changed, and everyone understood them but me.
Truth: People can leave at any time. Friendships end.
Me with some neighborhood friends (Iām on the left) ā I definitely felt like an outsider
15-17 years old
In high school, due to someone reaching out to me, I gathered up the courage to reach out to others again. I developed quality friendships both inside and outside of classes. I was still confused by the complicated rules of friendship and now DATING. Yikes. But by senior year, I had a few great groups of friends, one of which included my current best friend and husband, Aaron (we didnāt get married until years later).
Truth: It may take years to find them, but good friends are always out there.
17-24 years old
When graduation rolled around, I felt confident I could make new friends in the future. Besides, my best friend at the time was going to the same college! How exciting! We drove up to orientation together. I remember her being strangely distant as I chatted with the other attendees. On the way home, I asked if she was okay. She didnāt really answer, and after that event, she didnāt talk to me ever again. Awkwardly we both decided to live on campus and got placed within a few rooms of each other. She pretended like she didnāt know me. It hurt and shook me for a while. But this time I recovered quicker and focused on making other friends.
Truth: An important part of friendship is learning to let people go.
Me with one of my best friends in college (still BFFs today)
These years were full of fun and silly and heartwarming memories. There was also a lot of confusion and heartbreak too. When yet another friend suddenly stopped talking to me, it triggered my old fears of not being good enough or lovable. The common denominator of all these failed friendships was me. I believed that this kept happening because there was something wrong with me. But then one of these friends (I will be forever grateful to her) wrote me an apology letter. She said she had been jealous of me, and for the first time, I realized that it didnāt have to be my fault. Maybe people are complicated and afraid (just like I am), and some people react to those feelings by withdrawing.
Truth: Sometimes people arenāt able to be a friend because of their own struggles. It doesnāt mean something is wrong with you.
25-30 years old
I started working āadultā jobs and met a lot of different people. But yet again, the rules of friendship changed. What is this thing we call adult friendship? And then once you have a partner or get married, it gets even more complicated. Double dates can be great when everyone likes hanging out with each other but that usually takes a miracle. Ah! Adult friendship is hard.
Truth: There is no one size fits all approach to friendship.
Thankfully, along the way I made a group of dear friends who loved geeking out about creativity and stories and writing. That child self who just wanted to make stuff with friends peeked out after a long hibernation. She led the way to childrenās books where I met even more people who wanted to geek out and make stuff. For the first time ever, I felt like I was a part of a COMMUNITY.
Truth: Community is even harder to find than friendship. But itās worth the wait.
Here are just a few of the wonderful kidlit friends Iāve made along the way. Thereās also many I havenāt met in person.
31 years old (now)
At the risk of sounding too āI lived happily ever afterā about it all, I want to be honest about the fact that it hasnāt all been sunny, even after finding community. Iāve spent all 31 years trying to figure out friendship. Most of my life, Iāve overcomplicated it. Friendships are hard. People are complicated and confusing. We all struggle with assumptions and expectations and communication.
Sometimes Iāve made friends with people who eventually took advantage of me, who turned out to be adult bullies, and who saw me as an opportunity instead of a person. The more I put myself out there, the more I will probably encounter people like that.
BUT thatās what makes those moments of genuine friendship even more remarkable! The fact that two imperfect people can connect across their fears and baggage and trauma and insecurities is pretty cool.
If there is anything Iāve learned over this friendship rollercoaster of mine, itās that there will always be GOOD friends out there.
Truth: People will love you. People will hurt you. Friendship is worth the risk.
If this post resonated with you, would you mind sharing it?
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE. Iāll save you a seat next week!
All the best from your imperfect friend,
Rachel
AT THE KID TABLE is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Hi there,
Exciting things are happening over here on the podcast including NEW INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC (whiskey geraldine rocks!) and BETTER SOUND QUALITY. Iāll continue learning and improving as I go :)
In this episode, childrenās book author-illustrator Mark Hoffmann chatted with us about:
* How art didnāt feel like a potential career until a few wonderful teachers opened his eyes to the possibilities (thank goodness for amazing teachers!)
* How he stays inspired by exploring outside his area of expertise (like plumbing!)
* How the best critiques are the most specific (all that red ink is a good sign)
* His research process for his books (which includes super cool ebay purchases from the 1800s)
* His term ācrotch punching musicā (we laughed so hard and Iām guessing you will too)
We also may have accidentally offended graham cracker and cheez-it companiesā¦they almost shut down our chat but luckily it worked out ;)
Check out Markās website and instagram for art, books, and gab nā doodle live chats with other illustrators. And preorder his book THE NOTE WHO FACED THE MUSIC (written by Lindsay Bonilla)!
A great way to support this podcast is by sharing it with a friend.
Thanks to author Angela Pham Krans for being my delightful cohost, Whiskey Geraldine for the amazing music, and author Joanna Rowland for sponsoring this episode.
If you would like to sponsor an episode, become a paid subscriber and weāll give you a shoutout!
Thanks for sitting with me! Iāll save you a seat for next time.
Your learning-to-learn-as-she-goes-instead-of-letting-perfectionism-take-over friend,
Rachel
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Hello there!
I hope your January was fantastic and that you found ways to navigate any winter blues. This week I have so many exciting things to share with you!
I quit my day job
You may or may not know that Iāve been working as a writer in the tech industry for a handful of years. Iāve been called a technical writer, documentation specialist, content writer, UX writer, product writerātech industry titles are so fun, arenāt they?ābut no matter the name, the job situation felt pretty similar.
* People often didnāt know how to work with a writer, so a big part of my job was explaining my job.
* Everyone thinks they can write which creates really weird dynamics.
* People are often super sensitive about their writing, so just the act of doing my job made insecure people uncomfortable.
For these reasons (and many more), writers are often working in toxic situations. And if they donāt have managers who can put protective boundaries in place, they are left to navigate these difficult dynamics by themselves.
My point isā¦IāM SO GLAD I QUIT!
I tried to find a picture that captured how great I feel, and the only face that truly felt right was my dogās goofy happy face in this picture.
The big green button approves of my decision.
But Iām also really glad I WAITED to quit until now.
Even though dealing with the toxicity of corporate jobs was really hard sometimes, the consistent paycheck and the nice benefits gave me a safe space on the side to create. I didnāt put pressure on my art. As what I call a ārecovering perfectionist,ā I needed that space.
Without these jobs, I would not be a childrenās book author-illustrator today.
I donāt believe in a āone path fits allā approach, so what Iām saying is not meant to be any sort of life advice. I just wanted to share why Iām glad I quit and also why Iām glad I waited to quit until 1) I had a literary agent and 2) I sold some books.
Iām also weirdly grateful that my job got really toxic at the end because it was the push I needed to commit fully to my dream. Even though I could feel in my heart it was the right time, I was scared. Letting go of the financial security and cushy benefits was hard, but it already feels worth it. Iām excited for this new path.
Speaking of new pathsā¦
The first episode of AT THE KID TABLE is out!
Happy book birthday to my dear friend Angela Pham Krans! As part of the celebration of her debut book, she was my first guest AT THE KID TABLE. We chatted about how boredom inspires creativity, the importance of saying your dream out loud, and celebrating the small milestones along the way.
Watch the full interview on YouTube or Instagram.
Listen to the podcast version below.
I have learned so much from Angela, and I LOVE her book. Grab a copy of FINDING PAPA at your local independent bookstore today!
Some creative inspiration
Watch: Slow Horses (itās funny and compelling and a refreshing take on the whole secret agent genre)
Listen: Angelaās AT THE KID TABLE interview (he he he)
Read: Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders (if you like experimental storytelling, this will blow your mind)
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE.
As always, Iāll save you a seat for next week!
Your somebody-pinch-her-because-she-doesnāt-have-to-go-to-useless-corporate-meetings-anymore friend,
Rachel
Thanks for reading AT THE KID TABLE! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
In this episode, debut author Angela Pham Krans talks about how:
* Responsibility and boredom inspired her creativity as a kid
* Story inspiration knocked when she was in the middle of a professional training
* BIG MAGIC and support from other creators gave her the courage to call herself a writer
* She protected her creativity by continuing to say it out loud, finding community, and celebrating small milestone along the way
* Nothing is a waste of timeāwhether it is writing for five minutes or reading mentor texts or whatever else. It all counts.
Her debut childrenās book FINDING PAPA is out now! Run to your local bookstore and grab your copy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com -
Hi there!
I know this is a bit late, but we are still in January so it still counts: happy 2023! Instead of making resolutions, I like to squish an entire year into a day. It sounds stressful, but itās actually the opposite. I approach it in three ways.
Here is the audio version of this newsletter if you want to listen to it like a podcast:
Make a collage
I spend the first day of the year collaging my feelings about the year. I donāt go into it with a plan. I simply cut out words and images that stick out to me. I rearrange them in a way that feels āright.ā And then I take a step back and see what meaning my brain comes up with for the year within the collage I created. Itās kind of a weird process, like Iām looking at someone elseās art and finding meaning, but itās really fun and I actually discover a lot of things about my hopes and dreams and fears for the year ā both during the process and throughout the year when I return to my collage.
Last yearās collage ended up being a combination of connecting and letting go. Very fitting for what I learned and experienced in 2022. Here it is:
This yearās collage has themes of exploration and learning new things and sight and who knows what else. If youāre up for it, Iād love to know what you see:
List soul happy tasks
A few years ago, I realized that I wanted to design my life around the things that made me happy. So I asked myself, āWhat makes your soul happy?ā and wrote those things down. I figured a year is made up of days, so I might as well design my days around those tasks to have a happy year. It sounds simple but it seriously changed my life. I had spent a lot of time before that point trying to build habits and not getting anywhere. But now I can actually build habits and itās been more FUN than discouraging. It also replenished my creative life, helped me overcome perfectionism (meaning change my mindset to help me better deal with my perfectionism when it pops upā¦it pops up less but just wanted to be honest that it still pops up), and led me to childrenās books. Soā¦I highly recommend the exercise.
This post is sponsored by the following big green button.
Follow the 10 minute rule
I design my days by listing the days of the week on a google doc with a soul happy task list to complete each day. To check the boxes, all I need to do is complete 10 minutes of each task. After the 10 minutes is over, I can either stop guilt-free or continue doing it if I happen to want to. Funnily enough, I almost always continue. For me the hardest part is starting. But then Iām like, āOh yeah, I like this.ā I donāt know why it is so hard for me to do the things I like but thatās a topic for another day (or a long therapy session).
What does 2023 look like AT THE KID TABLE?
As I asked myself this year what would make my soul happy, CONNECTION popped up a lot which will definitely influence this newsletter in a few ways:
* I want to connect with other childrenās book authors and illustrators, so Iām starting a video podcast called AT THE KID TABLE. Iāll chat with friends about their kid table experiences and creativity and upcoming books live on Instagram. And then Iāll share the video and audio here as well so you can watch or listen depending on what works best for you.
* I also love connecting with others through the things they create. Some of my newsletters will be about what I learn from creators in the past and present as I analyze their books. And kinda related to that, just in case youāre looking for something fun to do, Iāll still share lists of picture books and other things that inspire me.
* Part of the reason I started this newsletter was to figure out how to be more myself online. So Iām going to keep connecting with amazing people like you with illustrated creative nuggets and jokes making fun of myself and (hopefully) relatable stories. You may also see me on camera more since Iām trying to get more comfortable with that. Silly videos are my jam. I just need to get brave enough to make more of them.
What does 2023 look like for me so far?
Right now, Iām celebrating the milestone of receiving my first ever super duper official editorial feedback last week! So for the next few months, Iāll be working on my debut picture book. It still hasnāt been officially announced, but once it is, Iāll be able to share more exciting details.
What does 2023 look like for you?
I would love to know what you are excited about this year. Feel free to leave a comment or reply to this email, and Iāll celebrate it with you.
Hereās to a marvelous 2023! Iām so glad youāre here. Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE.
Your happy-she-finally-created-the-newsletter-that-had-been-nudging-her-mind-for-a-month friend,
Rachel
Thanks for reading AT THE KID TABLE! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rachelmichellewilson.substack.com - Näytä enemmän
