Episodit
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In this episode, we dive into practical and actionable strategies for fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Building on our previous discussions about losing and winning strategies in relationships, we share insights and real-life scenarios to help you create positive connections in your personal and professional life.
Key Topics Covered:
1. Radical Self-Acceptance
Embrace your strengths, weaknesses, and quirks without judgment or relying on external validation.
Learn how self-acceptance fosters authenticity and emotional independence in relationships.2. Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness
Discover how pursuing personal passions and fulfillment reduces dependency on others and creates balance in partnerships.3. Practicing Empathy and Compassion
Understand how stepping into your partner’s shoes during moments of conflict can de-escalate tensions and build trust.4. Clear and Kind Communication
Learn the importance of directly expressing your needs and avoiding passive-aggressive behavior.
Real-life examples of how open communication fosters understanding and collaboration.5. Setting Healthy Boundaries
Understand the importance of protecting your individuality while respecting your partner’s needs.
Tips for clearly communicating limits and following through with actions.6. Quick Conflict Resolution
Strategies for repairing relationships after disagreements by prioritizing reconciliation and emotional health.7. Commitment to Personal Growth
Explore the value of self-improvement for fostering mutual respect and reducing recurring issues in relationships.8. Appreciation and Gratitude
Small gestures of gratitude can have a significant impact on building emotional bank accounts and deepening your connection.Highlights and Takeaways:
Relationships thrive on intentional effort and growth.
Focusing on what *you* can do to implement these strategies benefits not only your relationships but also your personal well-being.
Small, consistent changes lead to long-term improvements in your connections with others.Resources:
Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours or Quitting Medicine.
Schedule a free session with a physician coach for personalized guidance and support.
If you found this episode helpful, leave us a review and a five-star rating! Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and spread valuable insights.Until next time, remember: You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.
keywords: relationships, self-acceptance, happiness, emotional independence, personal growth, empathy, communication, boundaries, conflict resolution, personal growth, relationships, gratitude, emotional safety, trust, partnership
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In this episode, we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Betsy Grunch, a board-certified neurosurgeon, mom, and social media sensation known as LadySpineDoc. Dr. Grunch shares her incredible journey—from growing up with a single mom, to becoming a leading figure in neurosurgery, to inspiring millions on Instagram and TikTok. She discusses how her mother’s spinal cord injury shaped her path, the importance of creating relatable content online, and how being authentic builds trust with her patients.
We also dive into the challenges of medical culture, the toxic training environments many face, and how Dr. Grunch advocates for a more supportive, inclusive, and collaborative workplace. Tune in to hear her thoughts on combating physician burnout, fostering work-life balance, and leading with kindness and humility.
What We Cover:
Meet Dr. Betsy Grunch: Her background, neurosurgery career, and family life.The Birth of @LadySpineDoc: How COVID-19 boredom sparked her social media journey.Dr. Grunch’s Story: The life-changing event that led her to neurosurgery.Empowering Women in Surgery: Breaking barriers and being a role model for future female neurosurgeons.Social Media’s Role in Medicine: Engaging patients, fighting misinformation, and showing authenticity.Medical Training Challenges: Insights on toxic cultures, emotional resilience, and advocating for change.Leading with Kindness: Dr. Grunch’s approach to building a supportive office culture.Physician Burnout: The importance of work-life balance and finding outlets outside of medicine.Future of Medicine: How collaboration, kindness, and authenticity can transform medical culture.Resources and Links:
Follow Dr. Betsy Grunch on Instagram and TikTok: @LadySpineDocCheck out our new video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)" https://[email protected]Connect with Us:
If today’s episode resonated with you, leave us a 5-star review and share your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you!If you'd like a free Physician Wellness Triage session with a physician coach at The Whole Physician, click this link.
Stay Inspired:
Until next time, remember—you are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters. -
Puuttuva jakso?
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In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra discuss winning strategies to improve relationships based on the work of renowned marriage therapist Terry Real. They explore how to move away from reactive, self-protective behaviors (losing strategies) and adopt proactive, compassionate approaches to foster deeper connection, trust, and resilience.
Key Takeaways:
1. Shift from Complaint to Request:
- Replace complaints with specific, actionable requests.
- Example: Instead of "You never help with chores," say, "Would you be willing to handle dishes on weekdays so I can focus on other chores?"
- Honoring your partner's ability to choose fosters cooperation.2. Speak to Repair with Love and Respect:
- Approach conflict resolution with empathy, scheduling focused discussions (e.g., a 10-minute repair conversation).
- Use Terry Real's *Feedback Wheel*:
- Share what you saw/heard, what it triggered, how you felt, and what you need.
- Let go of the outcome to prioritize understanding over "winning."3. Listen with Compassion:
- Listen to understand, not to counter.
- Acknowledge your partner's feelings, even if you don't agree.
- Example: "I understand why this feels overwhelming to you."4. Empower Each Other:
- Reinforce teamwork by appreciating contributions.
- Offer support when making requests: “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?”
- Share responsibilities and explore compromises to create balance.5. Cherish Each Other:
- Practice daily acts of appreciation and positive feedback.
- Schedule regular quality time together (e.g., weekly date nights).
- Engage in meaningful activities together, like volunteering, to strengthen your bond.**Actionable Challenge:**
Choose one winning strategy this week to practice with your partner. Reflect on its impact on your relationship and consider building from there.Resources Mentioned:
- Terry Real's book: Us
- Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours or Quitting Medicine.Final Thoughts:
Relationships require effort, but intentional actions like these are investments in a fulfilling partnership. Start small and see the difference!If you found value in this episode, leave us a review and share it with someone who could benefit. Until next time, remember: You are whole, you are a gift, and the work you do matters.
If you'd like a complimentary chat with a physician coach, click the link to book a physician wellness triage session.
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In this episode, we tackle a common yet frustrating challenge: indecision. Even as professionals who excel in high-stakes environments, when it comes to personal or career decisions, we often find ourselves paralyzed. Why does this happen? How can we overcome it?
Here’s what we cover:
- Why indecision is so common – especially for high-achieving professionals accustomed to structured paths.
- The psychological underpinnings of indecision, including fear of failure, perfectionism, and a lack of confidence.
- Real-life stories of grappling with (and overcoming) decision paralysis.
- How cognitive distortions like proportion, temporal, and emotional distortions fuel indecision and keep us stuck.Key Takeaways:
1. Fear is often at the root of indecision—fear of failure, regret, or disappointing ourselves or others.
2. Our brains love the status quo. They resist risk and can blow decisions out of proportion, making them seem impossible or overwhelming.
3. Indecision isn’t permanent. By identifying the root causes and using proven strategies, you can move forward.Practical Solutions for Overcoming Indecision:
- Break big decisions into smaller steps. Focus on gathering facts and taking the next right action.
- Set deadlines for yourself. Avoid the endless loop of "information gathering" by choosing a reasonable timeframe to decide.
- Challenge distortions. Ask yourself:
- What's the worst that could happen?
- How likely is that to occur?
- If it did happen, how would I handle it?
- Reframe discomfort as growth. Feeling scared doesn’t mean something is wrong; it often means growth is happening.
- Limit outside opinions to trusted sources who align with your values and goals.Special Mention:
We discuss insights from Nuala Walsh’s TEDx Talk, including her three types of decision distortions (proportion, temporal, and emotional) and how to combat them.Don’t Miss Our Free Resource!
We’ve created a free video just for you: “How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence.”
Find the link in the show notes to start reclaiming your joy today!Closing Thoughts:
- You are whole.
- You are a gift to medicine.
- The work you do matters.If this episode resonated with you, please leave us a 5-star review and share your thoughts. Your feedback helps us reach more physicians and make a bigger impact.
TEDx talk: How to Overcome Indecision
Our links:
How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)-free video or speak directly to a coach for FREE: triage session
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Welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re diving into *Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship* by Terrence Real. This book has left a deep impact on all three of us, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra, and we're excited to share key insights on how to foster deeper connections in relationships.
1. The Three Selves in Relationships
Terrence Real introduces the concepts of the "Wounded Child," "Adaptive Child," and "Wise Adult" within us. Each part can impact our interactions, especially in times of stress. For example, when stress triggers the Adaptive Child, we might revert to defensive, perfectionistic, or rigid responses, limiting our ability to connect.2. Moving Toward the Wise Adult
The Wise Adult is the part of us capable of emotional regulation, grounded in the present moment, and focused on the “us” in relationships rather than just "me versus you." Practicing "relational mindfulness," as Real describes it, helps us move from reactionary behavior to thoughtful responses that prioritize the relationship.3. Relational Mindfulness and Power Dynamics
Real’s approach encourages moving from a "power-over" to a "power-with" perspective. Relational mindfulness is about becoming aware of our own impulses and prioritizing the relationship ecosystem over individual needs. This doesn’t mean neglecting personal needs but rather not letting those needs dominate interactions.4. Relational Heroism
Real’s wife, Belinda, coined the term "relational heroism" for moments when, instead of defaulting to old habits, we choose connection and insight. This shift from automatic, defensive reactions to thoughtful, relational actions requires self-awareness and discipline.5. Self-Responsibility and Maturity
Maturity in relationships involves taking full responsibility for our actions and emotional triggers. This means acknowledging when we’re operating from an adaptive, defensive place rather than our wise, grounded self. Understanding our reactions and managing triggers is essential for healthier connections.6. Interpersonal Neurobiology
Real touches on the science of how our central nervous system and relationships are deeply intertwined. Our early life experiences shape how we perceive intimacy and connection in adult relationships. Relationships are meant to be a source of co-regulation, enhancing our physical and emotional well-being.7. The Importance of Connection
Real discusses “Social Baseline Theory,” which emphasizes the evolutionary benefits of social connections. These connections help us conserve energy, regulate emotions, and mitigate risk. This need for connection is evident in research on loneliness and isolation, underscoring the importance of close, supportive relationships.8. Understanding Subjective Reality
Real emphasizes that subjective experience is often more important than objective facts. Accepting your partner’s perception of reality can improve understanding and reduce conflict, shifting from a “me versus you” mentality to an “us” mindset.9. The Framework of Connection
True intimacy is built through awareness of each other’s needs, emotions, and triggers. Individuality has its place, but lasting relationships thrive on mutual understanding, shared values, and a focus on connection over competition.Additional Resources and Final Thoughts
As we continue our journey through this book, we invite you to explore Real’s work, available in his books, online resources, and YouTube videos. Thank you for joining us today—be sure to check out our new free video linked in the show notes. Remember, you are whole, your gift to medicine is unique, and the work you do matters.
https://www.amazon.com/Us-Getting-Build-Loving-Relationship/dp/0593233670
https://terryreal.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@realterryreal
Check out our new video, "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good, without Quitting Medicine, Cutting Back Hours, or Sucking it Up in Silence"-click here!
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System-Wide Remedies for Physician Burnout with with Stef Simmons, MD
In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra welcome Dr. Stef Simmons, a board-certified emergency physician and the Chief Medical Officer of the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation. Dr. Simmons shares her journey and discusses the critical work of the foundation, created to honor Dr. Lorna Breen, an emergency physician who tragically died by suicide during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Dr. Simmons addresses the systemic issues that contribute to burnout and mental health challenges among healthcare workers and outlines national initiatives, legislative efforts, and resources aimed at supporting well-being in the medical field.Topics Covered:
1. Introduction to Dr. Stef Simmons and the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation
Dr. Simmons shares her background as an emergency physician and a certified coach. She introduces listeners to the Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation, which she supports as CMO, and provides an overview of the foundation’s mission: preventing healthcare worker suicide and addressing the systemic drivers of burnout.2. The Story of Dr. Lorna Breen
Dr. Simmons recounts the life and legacy of Dr. Lorna Breen, an emergency physician in New York City who faced overwhelming physical and emotional challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite her dedication, Dr. Breen struggled with stigma around seeking mental health support, ultimately leading to her tragic death. This experience led her family to create the foundation in her honor, sparking national conversations about healthcare worker well-being.3. The Impact of COVID-19 on Healthcare Workers
Dr. Simmons discusses the heightened challenges faced by healthcare professionals during the pandemic, including increased workloads, insufficient resources, and the shift in public perception from admiration to criticism. She highlights how these challenges, along with rapid changes in healthcare delivery, contribute to burnout and mental health issues.4. Dr. Simmons’ Personal Journey
Reflecting on her own experiences with postpartum depression during residency, Dr. Simmons shares how the culture of medicine discouraged seeking mental health care. Her journey led her to roles focused on patient and clinician experience, coaching, and ultimately to her current position with the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation.5. National Efforts to Address Burnout and Mental Health in Healthcare
Dr. Simmons outlines national initiatives, including the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act, which allocates funding to support healthcare worker mental health and well-being programs. She also highlights collaborations between organizations like the AMA, AHA, and ANA, working together to remove stigmatizing language around mental health in credentialing and licensing.6. The Foundation’s Statewide Collaboratives and Resources
Dr. Simmons explains the “All In Caring for Caregivers” initiative, starting in Virginia and expanding to other states. These statewide efforts focus on legislative changes, hospital-level interventions, and support for healthcare worker well-being. Resources include the Impact Wellbeing Guide, which offers steps hospitals can take to support clinicians, reduce burnout, and create healthier work environments.7. Steps Hospitals Can Take to Support Healthcare Worker Well-being
Dr. Simmons shares actionable steps hospitals can take to support their workforce:
- Identify and maintain existing positive practices.
- Listen to staff and establish an interdisciplinary team to guide well-being initiatives.
- Remove stigmatizing language about mental health in credentialing and licensing.
- Establish two-way communication between leaders and staff.
- Measure and support professional well-being through peer support, enhanced mental health resources, and workload impact assessments.8. The Importance of Coaching and Mental Health Resources
Dr. Simmons and the hosts discuss the role of coaching as a support tool for healthcare workers, emphasizing that while coaching is valuable, it may need to be complemented by other mental health resources. They encourage listeners to advocate for support within their own hospitals, including coaching, therapy, and psychiatric services.9. Advocacy and the Future of the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act
Dr. Simmons provides an update on the reauthorization of the Dr. Lorna Breen Act and the importance of bipartisan support for ongoing funding and resources. Listeners are encouraged to advocate for the act and spread awareness within their communities.10. Closing Thoughts
Dr. Simmons emphasizes that being a caregiver doesn’t preclude one from being a care receiver and encourages healthcare workers to prioritize their well-being. She reinforces the importance of system-level changes in creating sustainable work environments for clinicians.Resources Mentioned:
- The Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation website: [drbreenheroes.org](http://drbreenheroes.org)
- Information on the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act
- Impact Wellbeing Guide and toolkit for hospitals
- Champions Challenge Badge for hospitals that remove stigmatizing mental health language from credentialing
- The Foundation’s interactive map tracking state and hospital-level policy changesHow to Get Involved:
- Write to your state representatives in support of the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act.
- Advocate for changes to credentialing and licensing applications in your hospital or state.
- Consider donating to the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation to support their mission.Special Offer:
Check out our free video, "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking it Up in Silence," linked in the show notes. This resource provides actionable strategies for managing burnout and sustaining well-being.Contact Dr. Stef Simmons:
Email: [email protected]
Website: [drbreenheroes.org](http://drbreenheroes.org)Thank you for listening!
Please leave us a review and share this episode with fellow healthcare professionals.Resources:
https://drlornabreen.org/
Write your representative to re-authorize and fund the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare provider protection act: https://drlornabreen.org/reauthorizelba
Learn how to change the credentialing application at your organization: https://drlornabreen.org/removebarriers
Learn more about the Impact Wellbeing (TM) guide:
https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/healthcare/impactwellbeingguide/index.html
Become an ambassador:
https://drlornabreen.org/become-an-ambassador
Donate:
https://drlornabreen.org/donate
Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good
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In today’s episode, we’re diving into the second part of our series on “Losing Strategies” in relationships. We explore how certain behaviors undermine connection, create emotional distance, and hinder growth, drawing insights from renowned therapists Terry Real and Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.
We begin with a quick recap of the first episode and then introduce five additional “losing strategies” that can be detrimental to relationships:
1. Playing the Victim – Recognizing the disempowerment in victimhood and how it can impact both personal and relational growth.
2. Defensiveness – How defending ourselves undermines trust and prevents honest communication.
3. Blaming – Shifting responsibility onto others as a way of avoiding self-reflection, creating a hostile environment.
4. Scorekeeping – Keeping track of every wrong and using it as ammunition during conflicts, which prevents forgiveness and encourages resentment.
5. Emotional Blackmail and Stonewalling – Emotional manipulation and shutting down emotionally to avoid discomfort, which erodes safety, trust, and connection.We also offer practical strategies to counter these behaviors, such as practicing gratitude, setting personal boundaries, and recognizing self-authorship. We remind listeners that these strategies are meant for self-reflection, not to be used as a tool for changing others.
Finally, we discuss the importance of winning strategies that foster intimacy and growth, including empathy, active listening, and healthy conflict resolution. We’ll explore these more in an upcoming episode.
Resources Mentioned:
- *I Don’t Want to Talk About It* by Terry Real
- *Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship* by Terry Real
- Insight into “self-authorship” from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
If you found value in today’s episode, please consider leaving a five-star review. This helps other doctors find our podcast and extends our reach. Also, don’t miss our free video, *How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence.* You can find the link in the show notes.Thank you for tuning in! Remember, you are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do truly matters.
www.thewholephysician.com
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Losing Strategies in Relationships
In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra dive into the first of two episodes on losing strategies in relationships, focusing on behaviors that harm intimacy and connection. Drawing from the work of renowned therapist Terry Real and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife, the hosts break down five common maladaptive strategies that people often use, thinking they will give them more power in relationships. However, these strategies ultimately damage trust and closeness.
Laura introduces the topic, sharing insights from her relationship coaching certification with Terry Real. She explains how these losing strategies—many of which are ingrained in us from childhood—can become habits that undermine relationships, particularly in the high-stress environment of medicine.
The five losing strategies discussed in this episode are:
1. Being Right: Focusing on winning an argument at the expense of the other person’s feelings or perspective. The hosts share the idea that "do you want to be right, or do you want to stay married?" and stress the importance of empathy and understanding over proving a point.
2. Controlling: Covert control can manifest through withholding information or micromanaging, often under the guise of "keeping the peace." The hosts explore how this undermines mutual respect and fuels resentment.3. Unbridled Self-Expression: Venting every emotion without considering the other person’s needs or the timing of the conversation. This often leads to emotional overwhelm and distancing.
4. Retaliation: Reacting to hurt by trying to hurt the other person in return. This tit-for-tat behavior creates a toxic cycle of resentment and emotional distance.
5. Withdrawal: Shutting down emotionally or physically to avoid conflict or vulnerability. The hosts explore how this leads to unresolved issues and emotional disconnection.
The episode ends with a reminder to reflect on these strategies in ourselves rather than using them to criticize our partners. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness, empathy, and active listening as foundational steps toward improving relationships.
Additional Resources
Check out the free video "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good" in the show notes. Learn evidence-based strategies to overcome burnout without cutting back hours, quitting medicine, or "sucking it up" in silence.Tune in next time for part two, where the hosts will continue this important conversation with more losing strategies and introduce some winning ones!
How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)-free video
https://terryreal.com/
US book (must read)
https://www.finlayson-fife.com
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Welcome back to the podcast! In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra share their excitement over a glowing five-star review from Dr. Lauren Anderson, MD, and dive into a discussion on repairing relationships with adults, inspired by the Gottman Institute’s research.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The Gottman Method: John and Julie Gottman’s robust research on marriage and relationships has provided a wealth of knowledge about what makes relationships work and fail. The hosts discuss the “Four Horsemen” of relationship conflict: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, and the importance of repair attempts to maintain healthy relationships.
- Imperfect Relationships: Perfection isn’t the goal. Instead, it’s about how we manage the inevitable mistakes and miscommunications. The hosts explore the idea that 91% of the time, we’re miscommunicating or having hurt feelings, but what matters is how we make repairs.- Repair Attempts: The episode focuses on how to initiate and recognize repair attempts, whether it’s through a smile, kind words, or an action like holding hands. The key is creating a safe space to understand where your partner is coming from and to validate each other’s feelings.
- Using I-Statements: Effective communication during conflict can often begin with “I” statements, like “I feel overwhelmed” or “I need a break,” which can help de-escalate a heated conversation and foster better understanding.
- Bids for Connection: Learn how responding to small “bids” from your partner—like a comment about the weather or a request for attention—builds the foundation of a healthy relationship and strengthens emotional connection.
- Building Friendship: The hosts emphasize that a solid friendship is the foundation of any healthy relationship. The Gottman Method’s “Sound Relationship House” model starts with nurturing fondness, admiration, and responding to your partner’s emotional needs.
- Practical Applications for Work and Life: Although this episode focuses on intimate relationships, the principles of repair can also be applied to professional relationships, friendships, and family dynamics.
Key Takeaways:
- Relationships are built on moments of repair, not perfection.
- Using gentle startups and I-statements can help diffuse conflict.
- Bids for connection are important to strengthen the emotional bond in any relationship.
- You can apply these repair techniques in both personal and professional settings.Special Mention:
Dr. Lauren Anderson, MD, left us a wonderful five-star review, and it really made our day! Your feedback means the world to us, so please leave a review if you haven’t already. It helps other doctors find us and allows us to expand our ripple effect.Resources:
Check out our new free video, *How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence*. Scroll down in the show notes to find the link.Until Next Time:
You are whole. You are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.Resources:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/
https://www.iecouplescounseling.com/blog/repair-attempts-preserve-relationship-conflict
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Episode Summary:
In this episode, we dive into a crucial relationship skill: making repairs after conflicts or emotional disconnections. Inspired by a TED Talk from clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, also known as Dr. Becky, they discuss why repairs are vital, especially between parents and children, though the principles apply to all relationships. Learn how to move beyond surface-level apologies and create meaningful reconnections with loved ones. The hosts explore what happens when ruptures go unrepaired, the impact on children, and the long-term effects of self-blame and emotional isolation.
They also provide actionable steps to repair relationships, starting with yourself and then moving to the other person involved, and how these repairs can shift the narrative around hurtful events. Throughout the conversation, Amanda and Laura share personal insights, examples, and humorous reflections, making this a relatable and insightful episode for parents and anyone seeking to deepen their relationships.
Key Takeaways:
What is Repair? Repair goes beyond saying “I’m sorry.” It’s about revisiting the moment of disconnection, taking responsibility, and acknowledging the impact of your actions.Why Apologies Aren’t Enough: Apologies can sometimes shut down the conversation, while a true repair opens it up and creates a space for reconnection.
The Impact of Unrepaired Ruptures: Unrepaired moments can lead to emotional distress, and children often internalize blame, feeling unworthy or responsible for the rupture.
Steps to Repair:
1. Repair with yourself: Separate your identity from the action—acknowledge you are a good parent or person who had a bad moment.
2. Repair with the other person: Describe what happened in objective terms, take responsibility, and express what you’ll do differently next time.
3. Acknowledge the other person’s emotions, especially if they felt scared or hurt.
Repairing with Children: Teach kids how to express disappointment without being disrespectful. Modeling this behavior helps them grow into adults who take responsibility without spiraling into self-blame.
It’s Never Too Late: Whether your child is young or grown, it’s never too late to start making repairs. Amanda and Laura share a powerful example of what it would feel like to receive an apology from your parents for moments of emotional distress in your childhood.Memorable Quotes:
- "Ruptures are inevitable in relationships, but what matters is learning how to repair."
- "It’s hard to help someone else when you’re hating yourself and not grounded in your own self-worth."
- "Instead of blaming the other person, attempt to have a repair that increases your connection rather than drives you apart."Resources Mentioned:
- Dr. Becky Kennedy’s TED Talk: *The Single Most Important Parenting Strategy* (Link in show notes)
- Dr. Becky’s Good Inside Podcast and Parenting Membership (Link in show notes)Actionable Tip: Practice the art of repair by acknowledging your role in emotional ruptures, taking responsibility, and discussing what you'll do differently next time. This practice builds stronger, more resilient relationships.
Connect with Us:
- If you enjoyed this episode, please scroll down, give us five stars, and leave a review! It helps our ripple reach more people.Closing:
“You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.”Resources:
TED Talk from Dr. Becky Kennedy
https://goodinside.com
Got Burnout? Download our free training: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence."
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In this episode, the hosts welcome Dr. Andrea Austin, an emergency physician and advocate for physician well-being, to discuss her new book 'Revitalized'. The conversation explores themes of hyperfunctioning and underfunctioning in medical culture, the challenges of mental health in both military and medical settings, the importance of emotional check-ins, and the role of humor in coping with the stresses of the profession. Dr. Austin shares personal experiences and insights on navigating nihilism, pain, and resistance, emphasizing the need for a supportive healthcare culture that prioritizes well-being.
Takeaways:
Hyperfunctioning is a common coping strategy in medicine.Medical culture often equates mental health challenges with weakness.Emotional check-ins can help regulate stress and anxiety.Nihilism can be a dangerous mindset for healthcare professionals.Pain is a part of life, but suffering can be managed.Humor can be a coping mechanism but should be used wisely.External validation can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction.The military and medical cultures share similar mental health challenges.It's important to allow oneself to feel emotions fully.Creating a supportive environment is crucial for physician well-being.keywords: physician well-being, mental health, hyperfunctioning, medical culture, humor in medicine, arrival fallacy, emotional intelligence, burnout, resilience, military experience
Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Andrea Austin
02:51 Exploring Hyperfunctioning and Underfunctioning
07:41 Military and Medical Culture: Mental Health Challenges
12:10 The Importance of Emotional Check-Ins
14:52 Understanding Arrival Fallacy 20:01 Navigating Nihilism and Isolation
21:16 Pain, Resistance, and Suffering 25:40 The Role of Humor in Medicine
31:55 Conclusion and Book Promotion
Resources:
Book-Revitalize at andreaaustinmd.com
Arrival Fallacy Article
Got Burnout? Download the free training: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence."
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In this episode, we dive into the last chapter of Dan Buettner's book, Blue Zones: Secrets for Living Longer, Lessons from the Healthiest Places on Earth. He addresses ways that we can make longevity-promoting behaviors automatic for us.
We discuss his suggestions for optimizing our homes, kitchens, and bedrooms for the greatest chance of success.
Resource:
Blue Zones Books
Link to Networking Event
Got Burnout? Download the free training: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence."
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In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra discuss the alarming rate of physician suicide and the need for increased awareness and support. They share the story of Dr. Lorna Breen, an emergency physician who tragically took her own life after working tirelessly during the COVID-19 pandemic. The hosts explore the factors that contribute to physician suicide, including the stigma around mental health in the medical profession and the unique challenges faced by female physicians. They emphasize the importance of self-care, seeking help, and supporting colleagues in order to prevent physician suicide. keywords: physician suicide, suicide awareness, mental health, support, stigma, COVID-19, self-care, seeking help, colleagues takeaways
Physician suicide is a significant issue, with over 400 physicians dying by suicide each year in the United States.The medical profession, especially emergency medicine, has one of the highest suicide rates among all specialties.Factors contributing to physician suicide include the stigma around mental health, overwhelming fatigue, and the pressure to prioritize work over personal well-being.Female physicians may be at higher risk due to the additional roles and responsibilities they often take on.It is crucial for physicians to prioritize self-care, seek help when needed, and support their colleagues in order to prevent suicide.Sound Bites
"Physician suicide is a significant issue""The old school way of doing it is not working""Women physicians might have an even higher rate of suicide than men"Chapters 00:00Introduction 00:42National Physician Suicide Awareness Day 03:06 The Story of Dr. Lorna Breen 06:05 The Fear of Seeking Help 08:05 Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health 09:08 The Unique Challenges Faced by Female Physicians 11:02 Exploring the Higher Suicide Rate Among Women Physicians 17:10 The Pressure to Prioritize Work Over Personal Well-being 20:04 Prioritizing Self-Care and Seeking Help 28:03 Supporting Colleagues to Prevent Physician Suicide 33:33 Resources and Conclusion
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Resources:
https://npsaday.org/
Physician Support Line 1-888-409-0141
Podcast with Michelle Chestovich
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Creating Your Own Blue Zone – Food Guidelines for Longevity
In this episode of the Blue Zones Book Club podcast, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra dive into practical ways to create your own Blue Zone with a focus on nutrition and lifestyle. They discuss key habits and food guidelines that help people in Blue Zones around the world live longer, healthier lives. From adopting a plant-based diet to eating less processed foods, the hosts share tips based on research from *The Blue Zones: Secrets for Living Longer* by Dan Buettner. Learn how small, intentional changes to your diet can promote health and longevity, inspired by the habits of Blue Zone communities.Key Topics Covered:
- Blue Zones Recap: What are Blue Zones, and why do people in these regions live longer, healthier lives?
- Food Guidelines: Recommendations from Blue Zones, including eating a 95% plant-based diet, choosing whole grains, and reducing sugar intake.
- Beans, Nuts, and Dairy: Why beans and nuts are staples in Blue Zones, and how reducing dairy may benefit your health.
- Eating Less Meat: The importance of eating meat sparingly and choosing fresh, unprocessed cuts.
- Healthy Bread Choices: The benefits of sourdough and whole-grain bread over highly processed options.
- Drinking Habits: How people in Blue Zones stick to coffee, tea, water, and wine—and why sugary drinks don’t make the list.
- Bonus Tips: Stock up on frozen veggies, snack on nuts, slash sugar, and make whole foods a part of your daily routine.Notable Quotes:
- “The goal isn’t to kill the joy of eating but to crowd out the junk from our diets.”
- “People in Blue Zones tend to eat 20% less than Americans and make better food choices.”
- “Keep fruits and veggies on hand, even frozen if fresh isn’t available.”
- If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and give us 5 stars! Your feedback helps other listeners discover our show.
- Are you attending ACEP in Las Vegas this September? Join us at our networking event at the Libertine Social Lounge in the Mandalay Bay on Monday, September 30th from 5-7 p.m. Click the link in the show notes to reserve your spot—tickets are limited!Thank You to Our Sponsor:
A special thanks to our gold sponsor, Brault, for supporting this episode. Brault offers scalable services to support emergency medicine practices, from revenue cycle management to practice growth strategies—all under one umbrella.Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Blue Zones Books
Link to Networking Event
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Summary
In this episode, Amanda, Kendra and Laura discuss the Blue Zone of Okinawa and the factors that contribute to the longevity and health of its residents. They highlight the importance of finding purpose in life, following a plant-based diet, relying on social support networks, and staying active. They also mention the traditional foods of Okinawa, such as purple sweet potatoes and tofu, which are rich in nutrients. The hosts provide takeaways for listeners, including finding their own Ikigai, eating more soy, gardening, building social connections, and enjoying the sunshine.
Keywords
Blue Zone, Okinawa, longevity, health, purpose, plant-based diet, social support, active lifestyle, traditional foods, Ikigai, soy, gardening, social connections, sunshine
Takeaways
Find your Ikigai and have a sense of purpose in life.
Follow a plant-based diet rich in vegetables, purple sweet potatoes, and tofu.
Build social support networks and surround yourself with a committed social circle.
Stay active by gardening, walking, and incorporating movement into daily activities.
Get vitamin D from sunshine and activate your home environment.
Include kitchen herbs like mugwort, ginger, and turmeric in your diet.
Be interested and interesting, ask questions, and connect with others.
Attend the ACEP conference in Las Vegas to connect with fellow physicians.
Consider Brault as a scalable service to support your emergency medicine practice.Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Okinawa and Blue Zones
03:24 The Fading Blue Zone of Okinawa
04:52 Ikigai and Finding Purpose in Life
05:46 The Power of a Plant-Based Diet
07:04 The Benefits of Soy-Rich Foods
09:01 Gardening: A Path to Health and Happiness
09:54 Building Social Networks and Support Systems
11:43 The Importance of Sunlight and Vitamin D
12:55 Staying Active and Aging Gracefully
14:33 Harnessing the Power of Kitchen Herbs
16:10 Being Interested and Interesting: The Key to Connection
17:01 Closing Remarks and Event AnnouncementResource:
Blue Zones Books
Link to Networking Event
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Podcast Episode: Blue Zones Book Club – The Power Nine
In this episode, we dive into the seventh installment of our Blue Zones Book Club, exploring the "Power Nine"—the nine habits identified by Dan Buettner in his book *The Blue Zones: Secrets for Living Longer Lessons from the Healthiest Places on Earth*. These habits, observed across five cultures on four continents, offer valuable insights into living a long, healthy life. As always, our discussion is purely educational and meant to offer nuggets of wisdom for your personal well-being.Key Points Discussed
1. Introduction to Blue Zones and the Power Nine:
- Blue Zones are regions where people live significantly longer, healthier lives. These areas share common lifestyle habits that contribute to their residents' longevity.2. Power Nine Habits:
- Move Naturally: Incorporate movement into daily activities rather than relying on structured exercise routines. Examples include walking more, sitting on the ground, and engaging in daily chores that require physical activity.
- Purpose: Having a clear sense of purpose can add up to seven years to your life. The hosts discuss how to identify and nurture your life’s purpose.
- Downshift: Stress management through daily rituals like meditation, naps, and socializing. Simple practices like watching funny videos or writing thank-you notes can also help reduce stress.
- 80% Rule: Eat until you’re 80% full, a practice common in Okinawa. Focus on mindful eating, using smaller plates, and consuming the largest meal in the middle of the day.
- Plant Slant: Emphasize plant-based foods in your diet, including beans, vegetables, and nuts. Limit meat consumption to a few times per month.
- Wine at 5: While most Blue Zones inhabitants enjoy moderate alcohol consumption, the hosts emphasize that this habit is likely more about socializing and relaxation rather than the alcohol itself.
- Belong: Faith and community involvement are vital. Regular participation in faith-based or community activities can significantly extend your life expectancy.
- Loved Ones First: Prioritize family relationships. The hosts highlight the importance of close family bonds and investing time in loved ones.
- Right Tribe: Surround yourself with a supportive social circle. Your friends significantly influence your health and happiness, so choose wisely.3. Practical Tips:
- The hosts offer actionable steps for incorporating these habits into daily life, such as planning walking meetings, starting a meditation practice, and joining social groups.4. Event Announcement:
- Amanda, Kendra, and Laura will be attending the ACEP Scientific Assembly in Las Vegas this September. Join them for the second annual EM networking event at the Libertine Social Lounge in Mandalay Bay on Monday, September 30th, from 5 to 7 PM. Tickets are limited, so be sure to get yours soon!5. Sponsor Shoutout:
- A big thank you to Brault, a gold sponsor of the upcoming networking event. Brault offers scalable services to support emergency medicine practices, including RCM partnerships and business function management.
- If you found this episode helpful, please rate us 5 out of 5 and leave a review. It helps other doctors find our podcast and extends our reach.
- Don't forget to get your tickets for the EM networking event in Las Vegas. We look forward to seeing you there!
- Remember, you are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.Resource:
Blue Zones Books
The Power of Purpose
Link to Networking Event
https://www.brault.us/
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Blue Zones Book Club, Part 6 - Singapore
Hosts: Amanda, Laura, and Kendra
Episode Summary:
In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra dive into the sixth installment of their Blue Zones book club, focusing on Singapore. Despite its urban environment, Singapore boasts one of the highest life expectancies in the world, proving that longevity isn't limited to rural, pastoral lifestyles. The hosts explore how this small island nation has transformed its public health landscape and shares insights into the programs and policies that have contributed to its citizens' long, healthy lives.Key Takeaways:
1. Singapore's Transformation:
- In 1960, the average life expectancy in Singapore was just 65 years. Today, it has risen to 84.7 years, with some citizens living even longer.
- The country ranks number one in healthy life expectancy and has the world's lowest rate of cardiovascular mortality.2. Health Initiatives:
- Singapore has implemented various outreach programs, including health screenings, cooking classes, and nurse dispatch services to connect those living alone.
- The National Steps Challenge incentivizes physical activity, rewarding citizens for logging 10,000 steps daily with health points redeemable for various goods and services.3. Strict Laws:
- Singapore is known for its strict laws, including severe penalties for drug possession and the prohibition of firearms. While some might view these as extreme, they contribute to the country's low crime rates and high levels of public trust.4. Education and Social Structure:
- Education is highly valued, with Singapore ranking number one internationally in math and science for several years. The nation also emphasizes a common language (English) and a mix of ethnicities within communities to promote tolerance and social cohesion.5. Unusual Takeaways:
- The hosts humorously critique the chapter's somewhat unconventional advice, such as choosing a safe neighborhood and focusing on financial success, which felt out of place compared to the rest of the Blue Zones book.Additional Notes:
- If you are going to be at ACEP Scientific Assembly in Las Vegas, join us at the EM Networking event at the Libertine Social Lounge in Mandalay Bay on Monday, September 30th, from 5 to 7 PM. Tickets are available through the link in the show notes.
- Sponsor Shoutout: Special thanks to Brault for sponsoring the event. Brault offers scalable services to support emergency medicine practices, providing everything from full-service RCM partnerships to business function management.Book and Resources:
- Book Mentioned: "The Blue Zones: Secrets for Living Longer Lessons from the Healthiest Places on Earth" by Dan Buettner.
- Netflix Series: If you prefer watching over reading, check out the Blue Zones series on Netflix.Thank you for tuning in! Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast on your favorite platform. Until next time, take care of yourselves as well as you care for others.
Blue Zones Books
Link to Networking Event
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Beloved past-president of the American College of Emergency Physicians, Dr. Gillian Schmitz joins us to discuss an emergency department accreditation program that aims to address systemic problems and reduce burnout in emergency medicine. The program proposes different levels of accreditation based on criteria such as staffing, supervision, social work support, and patient care resources. The goal is to improve the practice environment and ensure physician-led care. Dr. Schmitz emphasizes the importance of physician involvement and advocacy in driving change and creating a better future for emergency medicine. She invites hospitals to participate in the pilot program and encourages physicians to provide feedback and support the initiative.
Gillian Schmitz, MD, FACEP is a board certified Emergency Physician and Associate Professor in the Department of Military and Emergency Medicine at USUHS. She works clinically in the Emergency Department and serves as the Vice Chair of Education at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, TX. She is a nationally renowned educator and leader, currently serving on the National Board of Directors for the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP). Within USUHS, Dr. Schmitz is the clerkship site director for SAMMC, the Program Director for the Advanced Life Support Program, and faculty for Bushmaster, ACME, and Gunpowder.
Dr. Schmitz has served in numerous national leadership positions within the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP) and serves on the Board of Directors. She is a former Chair of the Academic Affairs Committee, subcommittee Chair for the Medical Legal Committee, Chair for the Young Physicians Section, and former Board member for the Emergency Medicine Resident’s Association (EMRA). She has been a leader in the Government Services Chapter, serving as President from 2015-2016.
Dr.Schmitz has also been involved with emergency medicine research and is a former Emergency Medicine Foundation and DoD research grant recipient, published author, and reviewer for several medical journals. Her research interest is wound care, skin infections, and infectious disease.
Dr. Schmitz has received awards for her leadership roles including the prestigious National Mentorship Award, the National Early Career Faculty Award from the Academy for Women in Academic Emergency Medicine (AWAEM), the Early Career Achievement Award from the Loyola Stritch School of Medicine, and numerous teaching and mentoring awards from her residents and students.Keywords: emergency department accreditation, systemic problems, burnout, physician-led care, staffing, supervision, social work support, patient care resources, physician involvement, advocacy
Takeaways
An emergency department accreditation program is being developed to address systemic problems and reduce burnout in emergency medicine.The program proposes different levels of accreditation based on criteria such as staffing, supervision, and social work support.Physician involvement and advocacy are crucial in driving change and improving the practice environment.Hospitals are invited to participate in the pilot program and provide feedback to help refine the accreditation standards.Sound Bites
"80% of burnout stems from systemic problems""Staffing and supervision are key differentiators in emergency department accreditation""Physician wellness is a focus of the accreditation program"Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background
02:52 Emergency Department Accreditation Program
08:07 Criteria for Accreditation
12:06 Levels of Accreditation
15:54 Physician Involvement and Advocacy
23:03 Getting Involved and Providing Feedback
https://www.acep.org/edap
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Summary
In this episode, the hosts discuss the Blue Zone of Ikaria, Greece, where residents live longer and have lower rates of heart disease and dementia. The key factors contributing to their longevity include a Mediterranean diet with an emphasis on vegetables, whole grains, and legumes, regular physical activity through walking and manual labor, taking regular naps to reduce stress, and prioritizing social connections. The hosts also highlight the importance of occasional fasting and the role of Greek Orthodox Christianity in promoting longevity.
Keywords
Blue Zones, Ikaria, Greece, longevity, Mediterranean diet, physical activity, naps, social connections, fasting, Greek Orthodox Christianity
Sound Bites
"Ikaria, the place where people forget to die"
"Enjoy a mid-afternoon break to lower stress hormones and lower your risk of heart disease"
"Make friends and family a priority for overall health and longevity"Sound Bites
"Ikaria, the place where people forget to die"
"Enjoy a mid-afternoon break to lower stress hormones and lower your risk of heart disease"
"Make friends and family a priority for overall health and longevity"Chapters
00:00 Ikaria: The Place Where People Forget to Die
13:34 The Power of Naps: Lower Stress, Live Longer
14:53 Social Connections: The Secret to Longevity -
Summary
In this podcast episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra discuss the concept of busyness and how it affects our lives. They explore the glorification of busyness in society and the importance of aligning our activities with our values. The hosts emphasize the need to say yes with purpose and eliminate tasks that don't align with our values. They also discuss the importance of rest and play in combating busyness and finding balance. The episode concludes with a challenge to say no, prioritize rest and play, and align our time with what truly matters.
Keywords
busyness, values, purpose, rest, play, alignment, balance
Takeaways
Busyness is often glorified in society, but it's important to align our activities with our values.
Saying yes with purpose means eliminating tasks that don't align with our values.
Rest and play are essential antidotes to busyness and should be prioritized.
Clarity of purpose helps us allocate our time and energy to what truly matters.
It's important to regularly assess how we're spending our time and ensure it aligns with our values.Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:07 The Glorification of Busyness
06:43 Choosing Wisely and Allocating Time
13:32 Offloading and Delegating
20:05 The Ego and Importance of Busyness
24:03 Rest and Play as Antidotes
28:13 Clarity of Purpose
29:24 Assessing Time Allocation
35:42 Conclusion and Challenge - Näytä enemmän
