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Each year about 50,000 children die in the United States. While a profound loss for parents, what about their siblings? Doug MacGray, was eleven years old when he lost his sixteen-year-old brother, Ricky. How does an eleven-year-old grieve? How is the grief journey of a sibling different than the grief journey of parents? In this sometimes emotional conversation, Doug shares with Dr. Chuck F. Betters some of the ways his brotherās death affected him and how grief for a child is different than the grief of an adult. Itās our hope that Dougās story will help parents understand the grief of their children a little better and also encourage those who have lost siblings at a young age.
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In 2016 about 20% of US adults had chronic pain ā thatās about 50,000,000. Eight percent of those adults had high-impact pain ā thatās about 20,000,000 people with debilitating chronic pain. People suffering from high -impact pain often suffer in isolation and without much understanding or sympathy. They donāt have a cast or any visible sign of injury, yet their pain changes the way they live life. In this Help & Hope podcast, Dr. Betters talks with Bill Condon, who knows what it is to not only experience chronic pain with no hope of healing, but also the devastation of the losses that often accompanies chronic pain. Bill explains how depression took him into such a dark place he no longer wanted to live. Yet in the middle of debilitating pain, Billās story is one of hope. If you or someone you love suffers from any kind of ongoing pain, Billās story will encourage you, and help you find a way to walk by faith in the middle of the pain and/or come alongside someone who lives with chronic pain.
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Our culture deifies strengthāand sadly, the church does too. Who has the most successful ministry, the largest congregation, or the godliest family? Our misplaced faith in human strength is a false hope with no basis in Scripture.
But a closer look throughout the Bible reveals the central role human frailty plays in the redemption story. From Genesis to Revelation, Godās power is made perfect when people are at their weakest. Far from an undesirable defect, God designed our weakness to draw us closer to himself.
In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Eric Schumacker shows us how weakness is a main theme throughout Scripture and encourages us to ask the question about every Bible story, āWhere is the weakness?ā The answer to that question will also showcase our utter dependence on the Lordās strength. And then Eric shows how God designed our human frailty to draw us closer to Him in a way that helps us display His perfect strength amid our weakness.
As we learn to accept the good gift of weakness, we will experience true strengthāthe kind that only comes from a loving and infinitely powerful God.Support the show
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In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Miho Kahn and her husband share the story of Mihoās journey into a world of drugs, violence and abuse. At the age of fourteen, Miho pushed against the boundaries of her parentsā quiet life and struck out on her own, telling her sister, āDonāt try to find me.ā As you listen, you might think, āThis story could be a compelling movieā as you imagine a young girl hitch-hiking alone across America and exposing herself to danger and abuse. Miho shares the story of her drug addiction, rape, co-dependency, abortion - and all of this happened before she was seventeen years old. Miho transparently shares her journey and how she found peace and direction in a personal relationship to Jesus.
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Is it possible to break free from drugs after a lifetime of addiction? Shelley Tribbitt says yes. After using drugs for over thirty years, Shelley broke free from the drugs, but then had to face the obstacle of the collateral damage that she had done to her family and friends. In this poignant interview, Shelley describes the devastation drug use brought on her family, including the loss of the custody of her children. Her daughter, Bay, joins the conversation, and describes how she reconciled with her mother, and why she never gave in to the temptation of drug use, even though they were readily available.
Drug use in our culture is an epidemic. It isnāt just teenagers who fall prey to this dangerous life choice. Shelleyās story reminds us that drugs know no age limits. We are also able to see that reconciliation with estranged family members is possible, though the pathway to reconciliation will be painful and often long.
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Perhaps one of the hardest pains for a parent to endure is when a child makes dangerous choices that are sure to lead to life-changing consequences. Judy Douglass, author of When You Love a Prodigal, knows this anguish first hand yet her story focuses on how parenting her son Josh drove her to the heart of Jesus where she learned truths about herself and the lifeātransforming power of Godās grace. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Judy talks about how it was in the darkness that she discovered the power of prayer. Judyās story is not only instructive for parents of a prodigal but brings hope to those who are in the āprodigal child waiting roomā. Judy is the founder and host of Prayer for Prodigals, an online worldwide community for those who love someone who is making destructive choices.
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Gary Episcopo joins us on the Help & Hope podcast to share how God used his love for motorcycles and the brotherhood and comradery of motorcycle clubs to lead him into a life of demonstrating the love of Jesus to the one percenters or outlaw gangs. Growing up and even into adulthood, Gary struggled with many of the same temptations of these men and women and his understanding of the deep mercy God extended and continues to extend to him compels him to see many of these gang members as family who need the same mercy he has received. Gary transparently shares how the Lord used the death of his beloved wife and even the overdose death of a young man he mentored, to deepen his passion for sharing the love of Jesus with those often misunderstood and rejected.
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Baseball great Darryl Strawberry readily acknowledges that people often think two things when they hear his name: Darryl was a great ball player, and Darryl lost it all to drugs. In this interview, Darryl and his wife Tracy share their story of drug addiction and how they found a pathway to restoration and wholeness. Their transparent responses to hard questions will challenge listeners to examine their own lives. Itās our hope that their redemption story will offer help and hope to others who are at the bottom of life, and ready to make choices that can only lead to dark places. Is there hope when getting and using drugs are the first things you think of in the morning, throughout the day, and the last thing before you close your eyes to sleep? In this moving interview, Darryl and Tracy Strawberry confidently exclaim, āYes! There is help and hope!ā
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Due to generations of hurt in his family, country music singer Ben Fuller turned to cocaine and alcohol at a young age. He got involved in a devastating drug-fueled relationship which led him to understand better, the other side of addiction. And then, he abruptly lost his best friend to a heroin overdose, and his entire outlook on life shifted. In this Help & Hope conversation with Sharon Betters and Danielle Cantler, Ben talks about how a move to Nashville to pursue a career as a country singer in late 2018 transformed his life. He shares how a family friend invited him to church, and as he walked into the auditorium filled with 3,000 people, he knew one day he would sing āthat kind of musicā for the rest of his life. Falling face first into his new-found relationship with Jesus, he began writing with a burning desire to share what God did to turn his life around. Today, Ben lives completely sober while sharing his story, which is filled with hope, mercy, and grace. By turning his testimony into songs, he has been rejuvenated with a new passion and mission: to share his story with the world and all who are ready to listen.
A few of his best known songs are Who I Am, He Found ME and If I Got Jesus. Learn more about Ben and his concert schedule: Benfullerofficial.comSupport the show
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Mention pornography and most people think, āThatās a problem for men.ā Yet 76% of 18 ā 30 year old American women report that they watch porn at least once a month. Three percent of all women say they either thought they might be addicted or are unsure if they are addicted to pornography. This equates to three million women.* These stats are from 2018, so itās safe to say the numbers are growing. Is there help for women addicted to pornography? In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Jessica Harris says yes!Jessica shares her own story of how pornography drew her in when she was a middle schooler and how she found solace and acceptance through the internet and eventually chat rooms. Jessica describes the secrecy of her addiction and how it led to shame and guilt that she didnāt know how to break. Then, a woman acknowledged to a group of young adult females that pornography addiction was a woman thing, too. Suddenly, Jessica had hope that the chains of addiction could be broken. Jessica shares her journey as a means to offer hope to others.Support the show
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Julie Sanford is a Recovery Mentor for wives of alcoholics. She is a wife and mom of three who found herself in a situation she never wanted to be in as the wife of an alcoholic. After several years of living in chaos, feeling alone, and unseen, she is now using her journey to help other wives of alcoholics navigate their husbandās addiction. She came to realize that it was not only her husband that needed recovery, but she also needed support. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Julie shares not only her story but hope and encouragement for those in a similar, broken place. Julie offers programs and coaching that equips women with the tools and strength needed to navigate their husbandās addiction without losing themselves in the process (marriedtoaddiction.com).Support the show
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Paul and Jill Miller welcomed their sixth child, daughter Kim, into their home in 1982. It became apparent at a young age that Kim was behind in her developmental milestones. Kim was also non verbal. Kim was diagnosed as having autism, a diagnosis that was just beginning to be recognized by doctors. Kimās diagnosis not only created enormous stress on their family, but also isolated Jill as she learned how to parent their precious child. In this remarkable conversation Paul and Jill take us back to those early days and how Kimās life has taught them life-changing spiritual truths and led them to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Paul is author of numerous books, including A Praying Life and A Loving Life. He is Executive Director of seeJesus, a global discipleship ministry which he founded in 1999 to help Christians and non-Christians alike āsee Jesus.ā Since that time, Paul has taught more than 100 seminars, written a dozen interactive Bible studies, and released three books focused on seeJesusā core themes: the person of Jesus, love, and prayer. Jill is Paulās wife. Jill has her own list of amazing accomplishments, including starting businesses and writing curriculum, and is known for her sense of humor and faith. With all of their amazing accomplishments that offer help and hope to hurting people, perhaps their most loved one is raising their six children and enjoying life as grandparents to 12 grandchildren.
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Marriage can be difficult under any circumstances, but adding a child with special needs adds a whole new level of challenges. In this wide-ranging conversation Steve Demme, shares his passion for helping build strong marriages, but in particular wants to offer help and hope to fathers, and even more specifically to fathers of children with special needs. Steveās special relationship to his son, Johnny (who has Down Syndrome) shines through in this transparent interview and offers help and hope not only to fathers, but to anyone who longs to know God as Daddy. Steve Demmeās BioSteve and his wife Sandra have been married since 1979. They have been blessed with four sons, three lovely daughters-in-law, and three special grandchildren. Their fourth son John has Down Syndrome and lives with them in Lititz, PA. Steve has served in full or part time pastoral ministry for many years after graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and has served on the board of Joni and Friends Eastern PA. He is the creator of Math-U-See and the founder of Building Faith Families. Steve, you have a long list of credentials but I bet that at the top of your list is marriage to Sandra and parenting your children. Thank you for your willingness to share your story today.Support the show
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Neglect. Rejection. Sin. Conflict. Change. Itās difficult to attend church when youāve suffered some of your deepest hurts.
Megan Hill understands that church can be hard. In this conversation, Sharon Betters and Megan talk about why church hurt can be so devastating, the root of church hurt, people in the scriptures who experienced church hurt and how they responded to the priceless gift of community, and reasons to pursue life in a local church even when it hurts. Megan gently leads wounded people on a pathway to peace as she encourages us to explore the source of our struggles, find ways to express our sorrow and consider wise actions to take. Others have struggled as wellāand found hope. Thereās hope for you too.Support the show
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Children raised in the same family sometimes grow up with very different responses to life. Such is the story of Julie Malone and her beautiful daughter, Allie. Julie and her husband, Tim loved their lives as parents and Timās ministry to teens. But their idyllic life would take a turn into a foreign land of broken places. Julie says, I am very thankful for my childhood as I came to know and love the Lord as my savior at a very young age. I really never knew a day without Jesus in my life. I married Tim, and we had 4 beautiful little girls. We were raising our kids to know Jesus. We were a close family. Life was good. But Tim and I often wondered how and when real suffering would enter our lives. For us, it didnāt come in one huge blow. For us it came in pieces. A little ding here, and a little ding there ā until the repeated dinging of the chisel brought true hardship that often made me feel weary and worn, and wellā¦broken. And much of this brokenness focused on our journey of parenting our oldest daughter Ally through her teenage years.āYou may not have a prodigal child, but no doubt you know someone who does, someone who is fearful for their child but maybe ashamed and embarrassed. Parents of hurting children immediately blame themselves, thinking, surely, we could have done something different. Parents of prodigal children need their friends, family and church family to rally around them and Julie gives us a glimpse into how.Support the show
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Many people have experienced betrayal, someone violating your trust perhaps by lying, cheating, some kind of abuse, putting their own interests ahead of yours when they promised otherwise. Betrayal affects every part of our hearts, often in ways we donāt understand at first. Some hurts we carry with us to the day we die, they are so deep and seem impossible to resolve. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Wendy Alsup shares the impact of betrayal from her own life, not only through an unwanted divorce but also in her church life. But Wendy doesnāt leave us in the mud of betrayal. Instead, she speaks frankly about the power of forgiveness. Wendyās view of forgiveness is not stereotypical. Pulling examples from her own life, Wendy talks about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and how understanding ambiguous loss can help us as we grieve the losses of betrayal. Whether you are still gasping for air as the impact of betrayal hits you hard or you are carrying the wounds of broken relationships from years ago, this conversation will help guide you trough the minefields of grief and loss.Support the show
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Did you know 40 million adults suffer from depression, and 4 in 10 US adults have developed high levels of stress and anxiety since the start of the pandemic? 58% of those are young adults. Clearly, we have a mental health crisis in America. In this conversation, Christopher Cook, author of Healing What You Canāt Erase and host of the WinToday podcast, and no stranger to deep depression, says anxiety acts like a smoke alarm, demanding we find the source of the smoke and deal with it. He uses the acronym SEED to help us understand the 4 steps to uncovering the root causes and replacing lies with truth. His goal is to encourage us to intentionally pursue inside-out transformation by making small choices every day.
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One in four adults are estranged from their parents, so says one 2022 study. According to
another study 11% of mothers ages 65 ā 75 with two or more grown children were estranged
from at least one of them. Most of the time, the seeds for these conflicts were planted during
the growing up years of the young adults. Gaye Clark, who is the author of Loving Your Adult
Children, The Heartache of Parenting and the Hope of the Gospel talks to Sharon Betters about
the seeds of these conflicts and how parents can navigate these tumultuous relationships,
starting with personal repentance. This conversation shines a spotlight on the hearts of the
parent, not with condemnation, but with instruction on how to respond with kindness rather
than anger, gentleness rather than wrath. Gaye challenges listeners to consider carefully and
prayerfully how to reflect the fruit of the Spirit in a way that invites an estranged child to ātaste
and see that the Lord is goodā.Support the show
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Do these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain.
Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, āWhat did I do wrong?ā
In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson, Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote:
"I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however, forced him to confront his own sin, seek forgiveness, admit his inability to change his wayward daughter, and begin loving Barbara on God's terms.
In their book, Come Back, Barbara, "Jack" Miller and Barbara Miller Juliani chronicle their journey from grief and conflict to joyful reconciliation. Come Back, Barbara is thus an irresistible portrayal of God's grace to the Millers and us all. Our conversation with Barbara reminds broken-hearted parents about the freedom of experiencing such grace in the midst of their childās rebellion.
Help & Hope Story: Motherhood, Shame & Guilt with Barbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson
For more about Barbaraās journey as a prodigal child, check out Come Back, Barbara. Come Back, Barbara
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āSo who am I now that thereās only one place at the tableā¦.one pillow with a head dent, one towel damp after a shower? Thereās only one toothbrush in the holder. The seat is never left up anymore. I can still write Mrs. in front of my name, but Iām no longer in a marriage relationship. You need two people for a marriage, and thereās only me.ā These words, written by our guest, Gayle Roper, capture the longing of every widow. Has a widowed friend ever said, āI wish you could understand the lonelinessā¦..how every minute Iām reminded Iām aloneā¦how I long for my husbandās touch, his protection, sitting across the table eating, watching a movie together, going for an evening walk, running errandsā¦.Iām so alone.ā And you wish you could understand, too, but you canāt. This conversation between Gayle Roper and Sharon Betters is not only for the widow but for those who love her. Gayle gives us a tender glimpse into the daily life of a widow, what a widow can do after her husband dies that will help her find a new level of normal, how the scriptures met her in some of the most mundane yet painful moments, remarriage and much more. The widow will know she has a friend in Gayle, and her friends will be better equipped to come alongside of her.
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