Episodit
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How you can get your woman to squirt.
By Alice_Roissy & dirtyjoe69. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Today weâre discussing the manifestation of female ejaculation, or whatâs commonly called âsquirting.âMany a woman has been subjected to shame & humiliation by an ignorant lover who assumes that the chick just pissed in bed, in the middle of lovemaking. The truth is, He caused it more than she did. And he should actually be proud of his superior coupling skills. Bless his darling heart and stupid head! Hereâs an essay
Please Release Me, Let Me Flow.Menâs Guide To Female Ejaculation. Introduction and tipsBy dirtyjoe69
Do you seek some physical confirmation that your bedroom skills are pushing your lady to the peak of desire? Are you delivering the zenith of BIG âOâs? When the blushed chest and moaning and screaming havenât sufficed as proof, start exercising those arms, clip your nails and get your waders outâŠthings are about to get real messy!
Men take ejaculation for granted. Itâs like a 'liquid-trophyâ of man-hood, and the source of your future legacies and heirs. But cast your mind back to that very first time you managed to squeeze some 'Gentlemanâs Gelâ from the end of your 'young chapâ, I guarantee you might have been writhing in ecstasy, but you were also confused and maybe even a little ashamed. My boyfriend will admit to believing heâd somehow 'broken itâ when he finally popped his cork in his teen years. With females the climax has always been much harder to tell. After all, the female orgasm never had such a visible finale, or so youâve been led to believe.
A skill possessed by most females but in reality admitted and permitted by few, female ejaculation is one of those few remaining taboos and 'un-tappedâ delights of the 21st century. You all know that your girl canât help but spill the beans on your 'sexploitsâ to her close circle of friends. Sheâll be all too eager to divulge your size, expertise and finishing techniques, but never be fooled into thinking sheâs dishing the dirt on herself. Itâs strange but there are still some subjects considered too taboo to share over a bottle of wine, and depositing her 'loadâ seems to be up there with rimming and fisting. In truth you are more likely to hear a guy discuss the pleasures of female ejaculation than you ever would a woman
History dating back as far back as the 2nd Century has detailed the ability of females to ejaculate during sex. Yet often when seeking medical counsel from doctors, gynecologists, and psychiatrists, these anxious ladies were invariably told they were incontinent and needed either surgery or psychotherapy. The belief and humiliation of it being linked to incontinence stripped any sexual satisfaction, often leaving the female ashamed. After all what girl wants to earn herself the reputation of an un-intentional 'bed wetterâ? Even todayâs UK Censors have been known to emit footage of females ejaculating from porn films, wrongly believing it to be urine and therefore fetish orientated. In fact what these ladies are actually achieving is the absolute pinnacle of female sexual pleasure. An ejaculatory orgasm, or 'squirtingâ as now commonly referred, which renders them well and truly spent!
Most of us ladies who have experienced an ejaculation initially believed weâve suffered from a leaky bladder. Instead of enjoying the sensation we were mortified to believe we had 'golden-showeredâ our partner and indeed, in many cases so did you men. Lots of females, under thorough interrogation or clever coaxing will admit to having had an experience where they believed theyâd 'leakedâ during sex. The feeling of ejaculating is not dissimilar to peeing, a shower of warm wet liquid and a feeling of intense release.
Often itâs the guyâs reaction to ejaculation that will determine any future releases. If heâs had previous experience, or at least understands what has actually just happened, things will be significantly less embarrassing for both parties. In truth, he has skillfully hit the lucky girls G-spot and her eternal font of pleasure. If however he jumps to his feet shouting 'Fucking-Hell! Youâve pissed yourselfâ, the chances are your girl will dry up like the SerengetiâŠas will your sex life.
It has taken almost 1,800 years for the subject, often considered an urban myth, to finally be an acceptable and willing bed partner. When it first started happening to me I was so paranoid I found myself looking at adult nappies in Boots Chemist surgical dressings department. You may snigger but I assure you, to a girl only in her twenties if you believe youâve started to pee yourself during sex, itâs like the end of the world. No amount of Bulgari perfume is going hide the stench of piss sodden sheets.
For our part, the fairer sex has enjoyed and indulged the sexual revolution. We found our clitoris, and in increasing numbers so have men. Weâve stocked up on toys, some of us have even engaged in threesomes, swinging and discovered the delights of Fetishes. In a relatively short time women have been sexually liberated, and for the first time in history we can finally take the lead in the bedroom and dungeon. In 1981 when Newsweek published its editorial piece 'Just How the Sexes Differâ, it claimed the major difference was 'that men ejaculate, but women do notâ. Oh! How naive they were. The actual difference between men and woman is that we can 'shootâ more, and further than you. Soon teenage girls everywhere could be enjoying their own version of the 'Soggy Biscuitâ game.
Once released, the actual ejaculation itself can be a mind-blowing experience for both partners. Not only does the female get 'THEâ most intense orgasm, but also the lucky partner gets some serious dousing of love-juice. The amount of fluid 'squirtedâ can vary considerably in volume. Most Doctors have settled between the 5ml and 100ml volume, but personal experience and others can testify to soaking a bath towel over the course of an evening. The amount varies as much as force of expulsion. My partner in particular will often receive a warm soaking of his balls. But on occasion, particularly during harder 'doggy styleâ penetration Iâve managed to drench not only him, but also the soles of my feet and beyond. Something heâs definitely partial to.
In reality many men are fascinated with this so-called 'phenomenonâ adding to the growing 'ejaculating super-femaleâ urban myth. Legend has it that when Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee started dating a girl named 'Bullwinkleâ it wasnât her looks he was interested in, but her ability to 'spray her cum across the roomâ. That may also lead some credence to Pamela Andersonsâ claim that guysâ canât get enough of her 'trick pelvisâ.Equaling the tally for all those 'pearl necklacesâ has its satisfaction, especially ejaculating during oral and Iâm becoming very adept at delivering my own version, a 'sparkling-chokerâ. But a price does have to be paid for all this pleasure. First of all it can present a new slant on the question of 'who sleeps on the wet patch?â Especially when we are not talking about just a lovingâ spoonful, but up to half a pint and bed linen that look like they should be displayed in the Tate Modern. Forget Tracy Emminâs 'un-made bedâ. Check out my sheets, I could give Jackson Pollock a run for his money!
There are a few ground rules to undertaking your quest. Do not set out believing there really is such a thing as the 'ejaculating super-femaleâ, even if I personally would wear the t-shirt with pride. Most women can ejaculate but many donât. In the same way that all women can orgasm even though some donât, be it through physical or mental blockage, or just plain in-experience. When you guys first engaged in a 'five knuckle shuffleâ you got a result. It may have taken a while before you managed to produce your 'baby gravyâ, but you still got hard and it captured your affections. The climax has always been much more hidden and complex in females, and as such, a source of infinite frustration in men. Giving rise to that ever popular question 'How was it for you?â You seem to need to ask us!
There are indeed many complexes in achieving female ejaculation but itâs best to start with compatible partners. Both parties have to be sexually adventurous as some women claim that their partners will literally 'wilt when showeredâ. Other females, especially if youâve just 'popped their cherry 'adeâ, will still dive for the bathroom absolutely mortified and convinced they have committed an indiscretion. If the idea of water-sports has intrigued you in part but youâre not too keen on urine, female ejaculation could be your 'holy grailâ.
Now, whoever said that condoms were passion killers has never tried a mattress protector, or jumping up halfway through a really good session to find a towel. Forget that decaying crusty sock you keep under the bed, which is covered in dead cultivations of 'man-milkâ. If your girlfriend can squirt you will seriously need to upgrade. At one stage I even started obsessing about staining the mattress. This doesnât happen but it does raise yet another issue of 'protectionâ.
Like in Yoga where one is taught to almost reverse ones breathing pattern, in sex the female needs to control another inbuilt reflex. The building of the 'ejaculationâ does feel very much like a desire to pee and as soon as the urethra starts to tingle, second nature kicks in. When squeezed The Pubococcygeus Muscle (try get your tongue around that!), prevents the bladder leaking. It is crucial for your girlfriend to oppose this contraction and actually bear down against it. This is not an easy concept to get your head around because if you bear against the muscle that prevents you peeing, surely that means you do. Not in this instance it seems. Contraction of the muscle in this instance actually stops an orgasm from building; pretty much the same way as squeezing the base of the penis and thinking momentarily of Anne Widdecombe does in men. It does not prevent further ejaculation, just postpones it. This is the first barrier you need to deal with. Donât be under any illusions that your girlfriend will fill your mouth with milk & honey on command. If only life were that simple. Remember the hunt for the clitoris? Well if that equaled gaining an 'Aâ level qualification, getting your girlfriend to 'squirtâ for the very first time is like obtaining a PhD.
The ejaculation itself does come through the urethra, the same tube used for urination. It is located just outside the vaginal opening. If you spread your ladies inner labia and trace your finger from just inside her pussy, up towards the clitoris, after about half an inch you can find a tiny hole. Almost a needle in a haystack, especially if your lady is unshaven. This is where the ejaculation fluid exits, but not where it originates. Thatâs the job of the 'Skene Glandâ. The equivalent to a male prostate, which produces seminal fluid in males and itâs hidden between the G-spot and the clitoris. Although some insignificant traces of urine are evident, the composition is not that dissimilar to the fluid produced by the male prostate to keep all those hungry little 'baby-makersâ alive during male ejaculation.
The fluid can appear like either watered down milk or can be clear in composition. It in no way offers any contraception as the fluid is expelled outside the vagina. Therefore the only conceivable purpose of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense, in many cases far surpassing any previous best. Ejaculation can take place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, thus providing a magical 'thirdâ orgasm. If you are lost on the difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, you might want to ask your girlfriend; although if you really donât know the difference, you probably wonât have a girlfriend to ask.
An ejaculation results from manipulation inside the vagina, as per a vaginal orgasm, but with an added jackpot. Giving the female an amazing double whammy orgasm. Sometimes after ejaculation the female can virtually pass out from the after-glow of forceful feelings. But donât worry, unlike men, thereâs usually more to follow. Give her a few minutes and sheâll be filling up like the office water cooler.
Obviously a starting point to your crusade is required. It usually helps to wait until your lucky lady is already aroused before declaring your honorable intentions. Place a towel on the bed to help absorb your 'baptismâ. Each orgasm will deliver a different volume of liquid in all manner of directions and velocity. This can range in spectacle from a trickling 5ml to a turbulent 200ml (I no longer worry about my creative juices drying up, as I reckon with my other talents I could easily always get some freelance work with the fire service).
I would just also like to rectify a point here about another 'urban mythâ that we girls have been swallowing for years. When was it actually decided that the male load averaged at 10cc? Who were these 'specimensâ? My boyfriend often cums so much I once actually accused him of being a freak. Bad etiquette I know, but sometimes I resemble the star attraction at a 'Bukakkeâ club. I have literally eaten his humble pie though; first time I ejaculated over him he was perfecting his oral skills. I came so much he was thoroughly drenched. His hair, face and chest were totally dripping. The sheet showed perfectly where his head and torso had taken the brunt, leaving an outlined dry patch. He loved his 'baptismâ so much I counted 9 more ejaculations before rolling over, passing out and leaving him with the mess. Now thereâs a novel occurrence. On other more adventurous occasions we have actually measured distances, managing up to 5ft of coverage; and I used to think the Bangkok ping-pong ball trick was impressive.
If you havenât yet introduced toys to your relationship, fingers will be more than adequate for the job. Both can achieve the desired result but for first timers you will need to feel your way around, so you should probably leave the toys until later. Scrub your hands well. Trim and if necessary file your fingernails, you donât want to cut the poor girl (Welders, Guitarists and Builders take note: your fingers are not often noted as 'hands that do dishesâ. But this is one area you can truly exploit those textured fingertips). It can also help to exercise your arms and fingers a little; you do not want to find yourself huffing 'are you nearly there yet?â Time should not be of essence during sex unless your girlfriends expecting a birthday telegram from the Queen.
Start off slowly with lots of foreplay, for both parties. Maneuver her onto her back with you positioned between her thighs. Using your fingers and tongue stimulate her clitoris. Wet your fingers and tweak her nipples to really get her going, whilst executing the best cunnilingus skills you can muster. When you sense her starting to get aroused, insert two fingers inside her with your palm facing upwards. Enter your fingers up to the second knuckle and bend upwards to create an L shape. Now gently probe around until you find a rough surface approximately 2 inches in length. This is the G-spot and is located directly behind the clitoris but inside her pussy.
When you literally 'hit the spotâ, start to stroke this area and it should start too en-large. Ask her to let you know if she can feel any increase in intensity. If she canât maybe you have the wrong area so keep looking. Donât go mad, but you may be surprised at your partnerâs thresholds. Try out differing degrees of pressure as you are probing, and if necessary use some lube. Massaging the clitoris with your thumb whilst doing this also increases stimulation. If she is having trouble relaxing or is becoming self-conscious be prepared to let her see that itâs also working for you. It helps to see that your fella is enjoying himself, and watching my guy 'box with his one-eyed champ is an absolute delight.
Your stroking may need some variety. You can work the two fingers together simultaneously or they can work in opposition like a finger walking exercise. Work around the whole area. An effective method is to combine the two previous suggestions followed by sliding your fingers in about an inch, before pulling out and sliding them back in. Start off slowly and build in speed. Donât go too hard; you are not trying to fist her. Try stimulating her clitoris at the same time; trust me this is not a time for idle hands. Keep measuring her responses. Heavy breathing, deep moaning and contractions around your fingers are a good indication that something is working. When you feel her start to bear down, begin pumping your fingers faster. At some point hopefully your girlfriend will experience a desire to pee. This is what you are both aiming for. If she can bear down and positively encourage this, and your handy-work has been sufficient, things should get very wet.
This isnât necessarily the best position to achieve ejaculation. The inside of a womenâs vagina is shaped, sized and angled individually, a bit like the shape of the male member. Penetration from behind may definitely be the key. Do remember however that in this position you need to work palm down. It will be easier for you to work on her G-spot and massage her clit at the same time. Try different variations with hands, tongues and fingers. Remember, if you do become dis-heartened, this time there are prizes for her 'Cummingâ first. If fingers are not working, try using your thumb. Although initially it wonât reach the G-spot, if you stimulate her clitoris it will swell during arousal. Take two fingers and lay them either side of her clitoris, then position your thumb inside her forming a three-fingered claw. This allows for the curve between the forefinger and middle finger to apply pressure and friction to the clit. If you start to move your thumb and fingers in a pumping motion you will massage both clit and G-spot at the same time. When she starts to bear down increase your speed. Over time it is possible to control and even prevent ejaculation whilst still enjoying the orgasm, but thatâs just plain criminal! 'Please release me, let me flowâ should be every femaleâs motto. If your girlfriend does manage to ejaculate it will, rest assured, catch you both by surprise. This is a significant moment for both of you, and if itâs either partyâs first time, you will remember that moment of impact forever. The truly amazing bonus that evolution has granted us finally superior to males is that we can do it again and again. Be aware that in the same way we can have multiple orgasms, we can also have multiple ejaculations. Intensity and amount of fluid may vary with each individual orgasm until our supplies are depleted, but the sensations just get better. Being entered from behind whilst 'squirtingâ provides the ultimate finishing touch. The smile of the man who is lucky enough to have his balls drenched by his ladies cum is definitely a Kodak moment.
Your girlfriend may not ejaculate every time she orgasms, and indeed a case is even documented where a lady approached her gynecologist believing she was ill because it had stopped happening. Pressure on the female to deliver can be intense, and can prevent ejaculation in the same way it happens to men. Relaxation, an open mind and willingness are the three key factors. If these elements all click the final result will most likely be the most pleasurable and intense orgasm she has ever experienced. Now just imagine being the guy able to deliver that!
After ejaculating your girlfriend will obviously, and hopefully, be a bit delirious for a few moments. It passes way too quickly so let her enjoy it before commencing with your wicked-way. She probably will want you to continue in a few seconds, or she may wish to have a breather. But Iâm sure you will also wish to take a couple of seconds to comprehend the aftermath. As for achieving other ejaculations beyond this point, itâs a bit like riding a bike hopefully without the grazed knees.
Once perfected, donât be surprised when she now starts to hassle you for oral. Yep! Equal rights! Which leads us nicely on to the etiquette of swallowing and taste. Like male ejaculate, the taste of lady-juice can vary from bitter to sweet according to diet, water consumption and a host of other environmental and biological factors. Male porn stars frequently abstain from alcohol or spicy food for a couple of days before a shoot to combat what is known as the 'gag factorâ. Itâs an assault on the ladies taste buds and will invariably produce a 'Spunk-purgingâ reaction. But if you drink a pint of water and avoid spicy food, itâs not quite the delight of Evian, but itâs definitely more palatable. Well the same goes for us girls. On occasion it can taste sweet, on occasion bitter and at certain times of the month metallicâŠit is generally advised to avoid these times as you could end up earning your 'red wingsâ. Nuff said!
By dirtyjoe69
Hereâs More About the female Ejaculation, written to help men understand that she didnât just pee in bed. In fact, her body and soul just paid you the highest sexual compliment that you can ever get. Perhaps 90% of men will never know the accomplishment of bringing a woman to this high level of sexual ecstasy. Hereâs an essay from Roissy.
Squirting; She Can Do It!In most stories Its mentioned how the women cum so hard it shoots out of their pussies. Not unlike a guy shooting ropes. It is all in the technique, and you can get there too. Whether you are a man who wants to see his lady just soak the hell out of the sheets or youâre a woman who would like to experience total indescribable bliss. Then you should read on.
A long time ago when the wife and I first started dating, almost fourteen years, we were like any other couple just starting a relationship. We would fuck our brains out every chance we got! The kitchen, the bedroom, the living room it didnât really matter what room or what place, if we got a moment we took it. We thought our sex life was spectacular. Heck one night I remember ejaculating more than seven times. I couldnât begin to tell you how many she had. We loved it all; oral, different positions, tie up games, fun with food, and even ventured into the swinging scene. We would read erotic novels or go on the computer to Literotica to find hot stories then play out the scenes. We had tried just about anything ânormalâ (because normal is relative) two people could do with each other. She would give me mind blowing orgasms with her mouth, cunt, and ass. I would eat her pussy till she couldnât take anymore. Then one day we watched a movie, I canât really recall what one it was but anyway, in this movie it showed a technique for making the woman cum so hard that her cum would actually squirt right out of her pussy. And let me tell ya, the look on the girlâs face when she was finished cumming was remarkable. It was a look of pure satisfaction. My wife asked me if I thought we should try the procedure and I said absolutely!
Now that you know how our sex elevated to frequent squirting, and let me tell you it is still a regular occurrence, let me explain how it is done! A pre-step to take before trying this method. Make sure to take a leak before you start. An emptied bladder is more responsive to sexual stimuli. Youâll understand more as we continue.
If youâre a woman who wants a higher degree of arousal and wet, mind-blowing multiple orgasms, let me talk to the man in your sex life. I have some special instructions to share.
This kind of arousal needs more than a massive cock to make it happen. Hereâs how to get her off over and over, in a wild and wet session.
STEP 1: Make sure youâre both comfortable. Maybe a little wine, soft music, or perhaps a good erotic massage, it doesnât matter, just as long as a woman is completely relaxed.
STEP 2: Do whatever it is you usually do to have a nice normal orgasm. If a female orgasm is having problems occurring, just skip right to STEP 4).
STEP 3: Make sure she is feeling very comfortable, it is key!
STEP 4: Start licking the womanâs clit and slide two fingers deep in her cunt. If your woman has a slightly bigger cunt opening, then increase the number of fingers being used.
STEP 5: Turn said fingers so that your palm is up facing you. (If a lady is trying to do this alone, she should have her palm against her pubic bone then bend the wrist so it points away from her body. Almost like are making a scoop.)
STEP 6: Push your fingers toward the ceiling. You want to turn your wrist like you are trying to start a motorcycle.
STEP 7: Run your fingers along this âwallâ, feel for a small rough area. Believe it or not it kind of feels like a walnut. She will know the spot immediately.
STEP 8: Keep rubbing, increasing the speed and pressure as you do. Donât rub too hard or too fast right off the start. Work up to it.
STEP 9: This is probably the most important one. When you do see your woman starting to get real excited, they might tell you to stop because they feel like they are about to pee. Remind them they have no pee in their bladder, and tell them to JUST RELAX and let it Go!
STEP 10: Take cover because you are about to be showered upon. My wife has squirted over three feet in the air lying on her back!!
So there you have it, lovers, ten steps to oblivion. I forgot to mention one thing. TOWELS, TOWELS, TOWELS! Or get a second set of sheets ready. And donât whine about doing extra laundry, it is totally worth it.
I canât promise this method will work for you but if you want to pursue a mind-blowing ecstasy, and never have before; why not give it a shot. We did, and the shooting hasnât stopped since.
Cheers
By Roissy & dirtyjoe69 for Literotica
from How-To Sex Podcast
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Young Brittni shares tips and advice on the art of deepthroating.
By Brittni4u. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.
On the internet in general, there are several stories and guides posted on the subject of giving blowjobs. Many of them are great and give various techniques and opinions on how to enhance oral sex on a guy. Once again, I'm not claiming to be an expert, especially at the young age of 22, but I do have skill, experience and above all, enthusiasm. In this post, I'm focusing on the deepthroating aspect because I feel over time I have gotten pretty good at it and want to pass my knowledge along so that I may help others.
Deep what?First, what is the definition of deepthroating? If a girl goes all the way down on a cock, gags, chokes, then immediately rises back up, is that defined as a deepthroat? Should there be a time limit on how long you have to keep it in your throat before it actually qualifies as deepthroating? Should you be able to, not only swallow the cock, but bob all the way up and all the way down on it while performing, in order to count it as a true deepthroat?
I believe there are three levels of deepthroating, so the answer to all those questions are; yes!
· A stage one deepthroat is the first type I mentioned which most girls can do.
· A stage two deepthroat is more difficult and fewer can keep the cock in their throat for an extended period of time.
· And finally, a stage three deepthroat is the most difficult to perform and a low percentage of people can continually suck a cock while deepthroating it continuously every time they go down.
If you are one of the lucky few that can give your guy a stage three deepthroat, he will be a very happy person. Deepthroating not only allows him to feel his entire cock into a warm, moist orifice, it also excites his mind seeing every inch disappear in your mouth.
My last serious boyfriend had a long cock. It wasn't freakish big, but was just over 8 inches. He couldn't believe how easily I could deepthroat it while I blew him. He became obsessed about it and together we would look up deepthroating porn on the internet.
There are some amazing deepthroating videos out there but no one porn star that I had ever seen was better than a girl named Heather Brooke. Have any of you seen her work? Oh, my god, she is the deepthroat queen, with no peers. If you haven't seen her, I strongly advise looking her up on the internet.
Obstacles to overcomeThe two factors that prevent someone from deepthroating are either physical or psychological. The physiological makeup of people is what determines the largest portion of their deepthroating skill. The physical barriers include the gag reflex in which we all hear the most about, throat length, cock thickness which is much more of a hindrance in deepthroating over cock length, among others.
Many times, our skill level is predetermined but I do believe we can improve it. I cannot walk up to Ariana Grande and ask her to teach me to sing as good as she can; no more that I can ask Heather Brooke, âPlease teach me to deepthroat like you.â
If you don't have the natural ability, you cannot be elite but you can get better and better with practice and it would be a shame to never realize your potential.
Even if you are great at deepthroating cock, it is a physiological certainty that those barriers, I mentioned, will still get in the way sometime. Even the elite will gag, cough, heave and eyes will water at some point during deepthroating. As you perfect your skill, those things will happen less often but they still will happen nonetheless. That is why you would not deepthroat a guy through an entire blowjob. It's physically impossible. I treat deepthroating like it's glitter on a poster. You add a little here and there but it makes the best statement at the end.
I think the psychological hurdle accounts for only a small portion but I wouldn't underestimate the effect it possesses. Girls, we all know when we have crossed over into extreme horniness; or what I call "lust mode." That may happen with alcohol, great foreplay, loving our partner, great lead up sex, or just a really hot guy who knows what he's doing. When you are in that state, that is the best time to attempt deepthroating. Lust mode may shed that "claustrophobic feeling" of having an object lodged in your throat if that is your psychological barrier. When you are uninhibited, you become more daring, experimental, and enthusiastic.
A good blowjob starts and ends with enthusiasm. You have to like sucking cock and you have to want to suck cock. I have questioned my girlfriends at length and some like doing it and some don't. The ones who don't, still will do it on occasion just to please the guy but he will sense this in your demeanor which will diminish his pleasure.
I also hear that, on average, when a woman gets married or older in general, she performs fellatio a lot less; but I don't know many older women that I feel comfortable asking, so I cannot give a valid opinion.
I love sucking cock and hope the enthusiasm I have for it, never diminishes. If you sincerely want to please his cock, savor the taste, do all the little sexy non-verbal gestures, and truly swallow every inch of it, he will absolutely love it. Sometimes, I get so aroused and into it, I feel like I can't swallow enough of it, even if it is completely buried down my throat! I want even more! We can sense when a guy's attitude is lackadaisical in eating our cunts, and the guy knows when we are sucking his cock just because it's "his birthday."
Before you try to get your man's cock down your throat, be sure it's lubricated. Of course with all the sucking, there will be excessive saliva built up in your mouth but much of it will either stay in your mouth or ooze out as drool. There will be no doubt his cock will be lubricated but many forget to swallow to lubricate the throat. It is also good practice to have a drink handy when giving a blowjob; if it is possible. The wetter your throat, the better his cock will slide down. Your throat is no different than any other orifice in your body.
You cannot read anything on deepthroating without hearing about the gag reflex. It is very real and very different for everyone. My sister gags at everything and cannot stick anything in her throat.
My friend Kelly can slide a 10 inch dildo down her throat with no trouble. Those two girls have very different pharyngeal reflexes. I think my throat is much closer to Kelly's. Most of us girls have been so drunk or feeling so bad, we have had our fingers in our throat trying to throw up just to feel better. That is triggering our gag reflex.
When we have a cock lodged in our throat, we have to think the opposite. We are suppressing our body's natural instinct to reject the object. How can we do that? I think there are a couple of techniques that may help. The first one is practice. We cannot completely change our gag reflex but we can train it.
When I was a teenager and learning the art of giving blowjobs, I got tired of gagging, so one day when I was at a friend's house, she was showing me her mom's dildo collection. She let me take one of them that looked old and not in good shape. I peeled the outer rubber or "skin" off, exposing only the core which was just a long, thin piece of rubber. I sterilized it with rubbing alcohol and used it as my practice tool. It was still very long and perfect for sucking.
I would push it to the back of my throat, heave and pull it out. I would try different positions and a variety of techniques before I would go to bed. Some of those included, shove it in very fast, very slowly, drive it back and forth very quickly, try to swallow it, and twist it around. I did get to where I found my own personal preferences that worked best for me.
The guy I was dating at the time could tell a big difference in a relatively short amount of time, as could I.
In a few weeks, I went from gagging and choking, to deepthroating his cock like a pro. The best advice I can give is to not think specific techniques work the same for everyone. Most information that I have read about deepthroating directs people to relax and straighten their throat because that provides a better "sword swallowing" angle and suppresses the gag reflex. Yes, that can work for some people but not for me, it is the exact opposite. I deepthroat better with my chin down and tightening my throat muscles.
To elaborate, I start out by locking or pressing my tongue down at the bottom of my jaw. I then open my throat while keeping the muscles contracted. Once the head of his cock touches the back of my throat, I push it down rather quickly without changing my throat position in any way.
Quicker works for me but sometimes slower is better and you will have to see what works best for you. When his cock reaches its destination and completely submerged down your esophagus, it is important to not pull it completely out when you start sucking. Give yourself some time to get used to it. Shallowly, bob up and down while barely moving the cock in your throat and keeping your tongue perfectly still. Moving your tongue transfers the feeling in your gag reflex which could cause you to gag.
When you get more comfortable, you can "slide" the cock further distances until you are deepthroat sucking. It's important to breathe when it slides out. Try not to change the throat angle or the pace of the sliding cock until you have mastered your gag reflex. Even if you go to great efforts to keep everything consistent, there will be times in the heat of passion you will choke or gag. There is nothing wrong with pulling it out, regrouping and starting over. That is why it's physically impossible to deepthroat someone throughout an entire blowjob.
PositionsOf course there are many positions to give a guy a blowjob and to deepthroat in particular. Whether you are experienced and comfortable or just starting out, I feel the best position for deepthroating is with both of you right side up. The first advantage is you keep your orientation because while on your knees or sitting down, being right side up tells your brain that everything is "normal" which allows you to focus on the task easier without gagging. Another advantage to this position, is it's easier to control the depth and thrusting speed of the cock.
Your mouth or his cock are not fighting or supporting gravity. If you feel yourself start to gag, a quick pull off is easy, plus, you can use your hands to press on his abdomen when direction is needed. In addition, this position allows you better access to his balls and ass. By fondling, rubbing, cupping, jostling, or just playing with his balls, you can add that extra sensation to make him cum quicker. If he likes ass play, he can spread his legs and allow you to slide a finger in his asshole to enjoy a prostate massage while you deepthroat him. That can also trigger him to cum quicker.
Another recommended position is, what I call, aligning to your lover's cock. If his cock curves upward, attack it from the top like you would do while on top during a 69 position. If it leans to the left, then get on his left side and swallow it that way. Properly aligning your throat to his natural curve can help reduce friction in your throat which in turn could help reduce gagging. It is ironic, if you have ever watched a nature show and see a snake swallow its prey, it aligns its jaws to help pull the prey down its throat and swallow it whole. Now we are the predator and our prey is the guyâs snake but we are trying to accomplish the same result.
Rules?I don't recommend allowing your man to be on top if you are inexperienced at deepthroating. In other words, it is very difficult to allow him to "fuck your throat" without complications. He may get caught up in wanting to go faster or deeper than your comfort level allows. However, if you do get to the point where you can handle him doing that, it can be very exciting and erotic. Make sure he is aware of your "rules."
I will also tell you that if you upside down or lying with your head hanging over the bed while deepthroating, it can be a struggle to breathe with his balls covering your nostrils. That is why I always keep a hand free to tap or "rearrange" him if needed.
Once you have improved your deepthroating ability, then it is time to add some skills for his pleasure. One thing I like to do is lick his balls while his cock is totally submerged in my esophagus. I like to give a little smile, maybe even a wink, and rub my tongue back and forth on his nuts. Be careful not to stick your tongue out too far because that releases the tension of gag reflex and can cause you to gag. You will have to find your own tongue technique that works best for you.
Another skill I like to performance during a good deepthroat blowjob is clenching my mouth very tightly. Once I have him completely buried, I clamp and keep removing the air trapped between my cheeks and his cock. This provides a different type of a snugness sensation, almost like a vacuum effect. When you start to bob in this position, it will feel like he is fucking a virgin. It will be no time and he will be ready to cum.
FinishingIf you are willing to finish a guy while deepthroating, then you have decide how you will receive his cum. It can be a little trickier than it would be with just a standard blowjob. When a guy cums in your mouth during a blowjob, you can prepare by blocking off your throat with your tongue and let him empty without choking you. The second technique is when you suck it out like your drinking through a straw. Either way, it feels natural. Cumming in your throat is something completely different. It is more difficult but if you can master the technique, it also supplies a couple of advantages.
The first advantage to deepthroating an ejaculating cock is if you don't like the taste of cum. The cum shoots directly into your throat, bypassing the gag reflex and taste buds. So if you are one who hates the taste or even the slimy, thick consistency of semen, this is perfect and you are basically not swallowing until the end. Another advantage is that you have the entire cock trapped. Every inch is completely lodged and secured in your throat, therefore he cannot jam it down your throat any further which keeps you in control and gives you a better ability to take it without him doing something unexpected.
There are also disadvantages to deepthroating an ejaculating cock. The first would be the movement factor. This is the total opposite of what I just explained in the last paragraph. Yes; you would have better control when you have it completely swallowed, but as he is enjoying his orgasm, he may twitch, shake, or even buck and this could cause the slightest change in your throat, triggering your gag reflex.
I learned this the hard way with one of my boyfriends. He was a "hard cummer" which means he would completely shake and buck when he came. I would have to literally hold tight to his ass cheeks and keep him pressed firmly against my face when he shot because one time he bucked, causing me to gag, then shot a huge, thick wad that hit my air pipe instead of in my throat, causing me to cough up his load while he had to jack the rest of it on the floor. My eyes watered and there was a mess everywhere. So you have to be careful. It was the ultimate deepthroat gone wrong.
Pass the honey, pleaseI will tell you that once you have deepthroated a cock, your throat will be sore. With all the trauma, it feels like you are catching a cold, so don't be alarmed. Hot tea with honey is a great way to kick-start the recovery.
I hope my tips and ideas will help you deepthroat you man like a porn star. Just remember to find what works best for you because no one method is for everyone. That is the key.
By Brittni4u, for Literotica
Welcome to How-To Sex Podcast; a resource to give daily guidance for successful sexuality, regardless of how you like it.
We tap into the expertise and insights from a wide variety of masters, who want to share their discoveries, and innovations.
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How to train a man to love cunnilingus.
By cd prosper ot. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
A lot of women love to have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either wonât do it, wonât do it right or long enough or if he treats pussy-licking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, donât just complain.
Hereâs some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,
1: Initiate SexAre you horny? Do you want his cock, his finger, his ass or especially his tongue: then let him know it! A lot of women, even if theyâre dripping wet and desperate to be sucked and fucked into oblivion, will wait for their man to initiate sex. Chances are that when that happens, a man is going to have his own agenda. But, why not start out with your agenda, instead of his?
So what if youâre shy! Get over it! We know that women have moments when you want and even need sex. So tell him when that happens! If youâre in a relationship, what on earth is the point of hiding your sexual needs? Is it some kind of weird power trip: if he knows you need sex, you canât ration it? That might have worked in the fifties, but surely weâre way past that now. Besides, nothing will turn him on faster more than knowing that you want sex. So tell him! But how?
Words are best: nothing like an e-mail or a quick phone call to his office, provided itâs private, if you need that; and a âHoney: I canât wait till you get home. My panties are sopping wet.â Or âIâm so horny and my vibrator isnât doing it for me; I need you!â You can bet that heâs going to blow off or rush through whatever overtime might have been in the offing (if he is the type who stays at work when he has a horny chick to come home to, what on earth are you doing with him in the first place?).
If youâre reluctant to be that explicit you can always use all the tried and true chick âcome hitherânumbers. Thatâs Okay. But if your man is tired or depressed, he can miss the non-verbal cues, or worse, ignore them. Ignoring a verbal invitation is not an option for most men: 99 times out of a hundred heâs going to accept, no matter how tired or down he is.
One final suggestion: a pre-arranged signal. One couple has a bride and groom from a wedding cake. When either one wants sex, they put it out where the other can see it: yes, itâs really hokey, but it works.
So, why is so important for you to initiate sex? Because you score big, big points with your man just by initiating: men hate, let me repeat that, men hate the burden of always having to initiate sex because unless youâre hooking up with a nymphomaniac (whom most of us have never met, let alone screwed), initiating sex involves a certain probability (often quite a high probability) of rejection and attendant humiliation. When you initiate you instantly get your manâs gratitude, and cooperation. And if he doesnât like to dive into your muff and polish your pearl, you will need some of that cooperation. So initiate already.
All right, you have your man racing to get into your panties. Now what?
2: Tell him, yes, tell him in clear words, what you want.Now, I gave you, reluctantly; non-verbal alternatives to initiate sex. But thereâs no way around this one, you have to say exactly what you want: âHoney, could you go down on me.â âHoney, I need your tongue,â The more explicit and urgent the better: âLick me!â âEat me!â âSuck my pussy!â Especially, if youâre somewhat prudish or restrained, the more graphic and desperate your language, the more you will turn your man on and, maybe get his head between your legs, fast.
Be sure to use a pleasant and delighted voice. And itâs all about how you frame the issue. Never tell him what heâs failing at. Tell him what you need more of. When you tell him what he failed, he feels rejected and his confidence is crushed. Thatâs never a good thing for healthy coupling. But when you share your need, you allow him to be a hero and rush to your cause. It makes him feel needed, desired, and special.
You can add that if you were more ravished in this manner âGod knows what you might do for him?â Or how much more often youâd be shagging him.
But if you canât keep a patient and encouraging tone, plan another time to work on this improvement to your lovemaking. You donât want to risk him despising cunnilingus, just because you were rude of insulting to him.
But what do you do if your man refuses or expresses reluctance? Amazingly, there are some guys who are grossed out by the thought of connecting their mouth to their womanâs pussy. If he refuses or if all you can get is a quick kiss on the twat youâll have to settle for that, temporarily. Okay, let him do his thing and start your campaign.
3: Your campaign begins with talking. Yes, you heard it right, talk to your man.Personally, I am thrilled to talk to my partner about sex: itâs so much more exciting and much closer to my heart than talking about kids or chores: but then I have an unbelievably open and understanding spouse. And, as a bonus, itâs often a huge turn-on to talk about sex, especially in public (discreetly or undiscreetly depending on how much of an exhibitionist you are).
Now I know that there are a lot of men, and women, who are too uptight or scared to talk openly to their partners about their love life. But I donât care if you have to go to a sex therapist to get a conversation going. If youâre going to have a sexual relationship that lasts more than a few weeks, you need to be able to talk about sex with him. And the odds are overwhelming that heâs not going to initiate that discussion. So first, accept the necessity of talking and second, figure out how to initiate it.
Once you have a conversation going, itâs important to be gentle and supportive but also to let him know how you feel, what you like and what you want from him. Above all, avoid any hint of criticism or anger. Let him know you appreciate his willingness to be open and to meet your sexual needs.
First, remind him that itâs not unhygienic to kiss your cunny: your bush is actually cleaner and more sanitary than his mouth (why else did God invent Listerine?). And reassure him that before youâll ask him to head south, youâll make sure youâre really clean down there. Please note that some men actually prefer that you not be overzealous about scrubbing your cunny, especially if youâve been horny and wet all day; but thatâs another subject.
Second, let him know that if the two of you are going to continue to have sex, then you want oral sex to be a part of it. Also, youâre willing to take it slow and let him get acclimated; and finally, you donât want to expect to cum every single time he goes down on you, that he has the right to stop if heâs tired and that you donât want him to carry on heroically to get you to cum when his jaw is falling off.
Itâs way better to express your needs and wants directly than to abandon or suppress them or even worse fight him passively aggressively. Once you stated your position, it also helps if you let him know that youâll be patient and help him get through the awkwardness and that you appreciate his willingness and his commitment to satisfying you. And there are plenty of books and how-to articles, and yes, videos. You can use them all, to help initiate him into the ancient art of satisfying his woman with his tongue. You could start with some excellent pieces on cunnilingus in this âHow Toâ section. Let him know, that youâre willing to reciprocate. Heâll be on really shaky ground if he likes having you suck his cock but he wonât lick your pussy!
Finally, you need to talk about is what turns you on sexually. If something has worked and heâs done it right, let him know it, verbally, non-verbally, anyway at all. Just make it obvious that heâs had an effect. Donât fake it or exaggerate too much. But do let him know what gets your juices flowing.
About Pussy Juice.Speaking of juices, thereâs no way to avoid having him deal with your nectar. Pussy juice is the elexir of life, the yummiest, most delicious, most aphrodisical liquid in the universe, better than chocolate, can you imagine? If your man is not one of that opinion, and heâd better have a lot else going for him if he isnât, then you will have to initiate him into one of the principal joys of oral sex.
My experience is that most women have at least some and maybe a lot of anxiety about how you taste and smell down there. And there are some times when your cunny might not taste or smell great. Start by finding out yourself. That means, to put it bluntly, you need to taste and smell your pussy more than once. If youâre not comfortable doing that, how can you expect your man to be?
Fresh & CleanI think most men are probably turned off by the smell of urine and execrement and the thought of swishing those in our mouths (not to mention your monthly flow). So try to eliminate those, but, please donât try to cover up with scented soaps or deodorants. Iâm sorry, but even those who are not as totally nuts about pussy juice as, do not want to be sniffing, or worse, tasting; scented fruit soap or perfume in your nether regions. The idea here is to get your man to want the taste and smell of your cunt, not the latest Proctor and Gamble product, or lint, or bits of toilet tissue.
Once you know that there are no obnoxious experiences for him down below, then you need to start stage two of your campaign.
4. The Campaign, Stage Two: Practising Kissing, Licking and Sucking.Okay, enough about talking and testing, letâs get back to sex! The best way to get your man started on the road to great cunnilingus, it to draw the connection in his mind between kissing and oral sex. Now that may be obvious to you, but, trust me, itâs not obvious to a lot of men. A great many women complain that their partners are not into kissing, donât seem to enjoy it and donât do it very well. You can change that; yes, you can. Start by assessing your own kissing skills: are you completely passive, waiting for the man to plant the lip lock on you? Do you swoop in and peck at your partner with wild abandon? Neither one of those approaches is going to convince your man that kissing is a rewarding part of sex to be enjoyed its own right and not just as a necessary means to get his wiener into your bun.
The first time I understood the mind-blowing potential of a kiss was a few years ago after an obligatory lunch at a rooftop hotel dining room with a friend whom I had and have absolutely no desire to bed. Iâm happily married and I want it to stay that way. As we took the elevator, I was given the most seductive, the most tender, the most erotic kiss, ever!. Now, Iâve kissed a lot of lovers (the order of magnitude will remain hazy in the interests of preserving my marriage). But that kiss was a revelation. It was an invitation, words fail me. Can you kiss like that? If not, start practicing. This is something that you and your women friends can definitely discuss, and maybe even practice. And then take the initiative. Show your man what soft, tender, lengthy kisses can be like. If you blow his mind, youâll be on your way to having him blow your twat!
Once you have him started understanding and enjoying kissing, then get him into kissing, sucking and licking your tits as an activity that is pleasurable in itself rather than just as a prelude to intercourse. If you donât like having him play with your tits, then just skip this section. Very few women actively encourage their partners to suck and lick their tits, and thatâs what you need to do.
Take your breast and actually rub it on his face. Play with your nipple on his lips. Moan appreciatively when something he does turns you on. Above all, tell him what works, what does turn you on and gently guide him: âsofter,â or âharderâ, âbite me gently!â âyes, keep going!â. As long as what heâs doing is even mildly pleasurable for you, keep him at it for as long as you can! This is training, and you want him well trained when you send him south! He needs to find out how to use his mouth and lips tenderly, how to prolong the pleasure, how to keep you on the edge. Every moment spent giving your tits pleasure is great preparation for him making love to your cunt and great training for you in communicating what turns you. So donât be in a hurry to send him down to the engine room before of you are properly trained and ready to perform your respective tasks!
When you, are ready, then you can give him permission to move further south. Not all the way just yet; he has more practicing to do. This is where you learn to tell him what to do, and make it whatever might turn you on. What you have him do is strictly up to you, but at this stage keep it relatively short. He could kiss your stomach, lick your thighs, roll his face on your mound; just as long as he keeps his face and his hands out of your crotch until you give the word. If what he does isnât doing anything for you, cut it short and get his face into your pussy.
An Aside on ShavingIâm totally with Sophia Jane (âA Girlâs Guide to Getting Headâ) in the camp of do whatever is comfortable for you. If you donât mind shaving and you like the way it feels and looks, go for it! If shaving makes you itchy but you donât want a full bush, trim away. If you donât want to be bothered with shaving or trimming, by all means flaunt your beaver! The point is that you need to be comfortable with how your pussy looks and feels, and when youâre comfortable, itâs easier for your man to be comfortable with your pussy too.
And donât be defensive about your choice. Either way has its rewards for your man. Yes, many appreciate the incredibly soft and delicate feel of a shaved pussy. Feeling a womanâs soft swollen labia is any unbelieveably thrilling part of oral sex! And itâs a definite turn on to be able to see a pair of engorged cunt lips or a hungry aroused clit emerging from its hood and begging to be sucked. But itâs also great for your guy to feel a sopping wet bushy beaver desperately thrashing against his face. And a hairy cunt definitely seems to give off more delectable pussy smell! So, both shaved and full bush or anything in between, has its joys for the male tribe. Itâs your choice: experiment and go with what feels right for you, and if you want to change it, change it!
5. The Campaign: Stage 3:Okay, his face is between your thighs. What now?
I know you may feel incredibly vulnerable in this position. But you need to remind yourself that you are the boss. If you man is inexperienced or repulsed by oral sex, you need to take charge and tell him what to do: namely, whatever he pleases you. Start by keeping it slow and simple. The first thing both he and you need to learn is how he can tease you. So have him experiment and tell him what works. You might have him stay away from your clit at first, and lick and kiss delicately around your outer lips, your mound and your perineum. Some women like to have their man take their whole cunt into their mouth; for others, that does absolutely nothing. Some woman adore having their man tongue-fuck their cunt hole. For others, itâs an annoyance. You need to tell him whatâs working, what starts the juices flowing for you. And you and your man need to keep reminding yourselves to take your time, take it slow and not rush towards orgasm.
If youâre like most women, it feels better to be teased with a very light touch of his tongue. He needs to be guided to do that, It took us a long time, a lot of practice, and a lot of communication to be able to achieve the kind of light touch that delights and sends a woman into orbit. But itâs definitely worth it!
Note: you may need to remind your man to keep his mouth and tongue wet. Donât hesitate to give those kinds of reminders. Itâs much better that your man knows that than that you are uncomfortable.
You may want your man to use his hands to hold your pussy wider. Youâll need to tell him how much force to use. Some women love their pussies are wide enough so that they can easily tongue-fucked. Others donât. Also, some women like to have a man push his hand on their stomach. To others, thatâs a distraction. Either way is fine: just say what works.
Most women (but you may be the exception) want to be thoroughly teased and aroused before their man starts working on their clit. You need to tell him when the time is right and how you like your clit to be stimulated. Some women like a man to start by holding their clit gently in his mouth and then very gently flicking it with his tongue. Other women are so turned on at his stage that they prefer a harder touch or even a light nibble.
Again you need to pleasantly communicate what works for you. And when you get to the point, where you canât stand being teased and you have to cum, your man needs to know that he has to hang in there and not break his concentration or his rhythm until either; you cum, or one of you has to give up.
At some point many women want their partner to use their finger or fingers in addition to their tongue. If youâre among those, you need to make it clear when that would be good. For some women, especially those who get wet easily, it doesnât matter too much if a finger goes in very early. For others who need to be really turned on to have their juices flow, it might be painful to have their manâs finger up their cunt too soon. But there are great lubes to remedy all that.
You also need to tell him what kind of digital stimulation works best for you. Some women love a vigorous finger-fucking. Others hate it. Some like their man to rub their clit with his finger. Others want a tongue exclusively. Almost every woman I know, adores a soft, slow, gentle stimulation of their g-spot. A man needs some guidance to be able to do that. So give him that guidance: it will be well worth it. A womanâs orgasm is much, much more intense when both her clit and her g-spot are being stimulated at the same time.
When itâs done right and your anatomy allows, he might get not just a squirt but a great gush of pussy juice right in his face. Now, there seem to be some men who are disgusted by the thought of their woman cumming all over their face. Of course, they canât expect to be able to squirt semen on your face if they wonât allow you to give them a facial. If your man absolutely canât tolerate your squirting on his face, you may have to draw the line there; although maybe he can compromise by letting you cum on his chest.
Fortunately, there are a huge number of men who absolutely thrive to give you the best tongue licking possible and take it as a personal compliment if you squirt on their face. This is such a turn-on that when it happens!
I just hope that at least some of what I have written above will help you train your man to enjoy diving into your muff and giving you mindblowing oral sex.
By cd prosper ot from How-To Sex Podcast
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
Why she loves to pleasure his cock, and how she does it.
By AnaLeePleasured. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
I have always found it odd that there are women out there who do not enjoy giving a man a blow-job, especially if it is the man they love, or are in love with. Personally I just cannot imagine anything nicer than the experience of sucking a beautiful hard, or soft cock and knowing that my efforts are being enjoyed. I believe it is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to pleasure a man in this way. I have always wanted to explain why I love it so much and how I feel when I do it and what the experience gives me.
That is what I will attempt to do now. I hope that someone out there enjoys reading about how wonderful cock sucking is from one womanâs perspective, and hopefully somehow, a few of those women out there who see it as a âchoreâ can be converted into developing a new attitude to pleasuring their man.
My first time that I went down on a man was after a late, or rather, early night of partying hard on the dance floor of a local nightclub when I was just eighteen. He was thirty-seven and we had been getting hot and close all night and into the morning. Others on the dance floor were telling us to âget a roomâ, and we finally listened to them. So off we went to his place for the rest of the ânightâ.
We both had a shower and went to bed but sleep was the last thing on our minds. So we kissed and I finally got close enough to see what I had been brushing up against all night. His cock was long and hard and I ached to touch it. I didnât ask, just reached out and felt it, running my hand up and down the shaft, Soon I was masturbating him with both hands and getting more and more excited by his groans of pleasure. I donât know why, but I just sort of took control of the situation because he was enjoying himself so much and seemed happy by what I was doing. So I kissed a trail down his strong lean stomach till my mouth found its target.
He was so surprised when my mouth engulfed his cock. He couldnât seem to believe that I had just gone straight down on him without a word of encouragement from him. He seemed almost alarmed that I had wanted to suck his cock. For me it was the most natural thing in the world. I had never done it before and I had never even seen porn at that stage in my life. I just knew I wanted to taste, to use all the senses that I possessed. But then, that is just how I am, I believe in getting the most out of a beautiful experience, making meaningful memories that last long after the act. That is what I am all about.
So that was my first experience of sucking a cock and when I think about it now, what I loved most of all about it, was the way he enjoyed what I did. He encouraged me every step of the way with moans and groans, saying âYESâ when I sucked his balls or gently stroked them with my hands while sucking his cock. Then afterwards, he had looked at me in amazement and awe, admitting that he had never been so masterfully handled before and wondering where I had learned to do it so well.
He also told me that no woman had seemed to really enjoy sucking his cock before and that it usually seemed as if a woman did it as a âfavorâ or saw it as a âchoreâ, needing to be asked to do it. He said he couldnât believe I had done it voluntarily. What he said had made me wonder why anyone faced with such a lovely cock would need to be asked to suck it, I just couldnât understand it. From that first experience I learned so much about men and what they like and I also learned about myself and what I like too.
For me there is no greater compliment than having a manâs erect cock pointing straight at me, I see it like a child sees candy, it just begs to be tasted and sucked. It is my reward for being a good girl, I get to have the lollipop. When we are young our parents teach us that there is more joy in giving, than receiving and as we grow older, many of us stop thinking that way and start to want more and more and give less and less. That is such a shame because life should be more about giving and enjoying the shared pleasures that creates.
It is not a nice feeling when we give someone a present and then realize that it is not actually something that they need or want. But most women quickly recognize that sucking their manâs cock is one of the greatest presents you can give him, and sadly, many women use this as a blackmailing tool, manipulating their men into giving them something or doing something for them or forgiving them after a fight. This really makes me angry and my heart goes out to those men who are being used in such ways.
What do I love about sucking a juicy cock? Well, this is something that cannot be said in a sentence or two, I need to write a whole fucking story about it! For me it is an honor, as mentioned before. Here is a man, a beautiful man with a nice juicy cock all ready to be used by you. Just the thought that someone WANTS me to pleasure him, that is the first thing that excites me beyond belief! Without that WANT, I might as well be sitting back watching television.
I love the visual aspect of a cock disappearing into a willing mouth, and sometimes I envy the man because he gets to look down at his cock moving in and out between loving lips of a wanting woman. So, because I cannot see it from where I am, up close to all the action, I imagine how it must look to the man I am sucking, seeing it from his point of view. That turns me on BIGTIME!! I love when a man tells his woman to âlook upâ at him while she sucks him, and I imagine that sight from his perspective.
Eye contact is so important for me during sex. Eyes are windows to the soul, so to look into them means to see more than just a cock, or a man, or a woman, but instead to see right through to what makes them who they are. That is something I find incredibly attractive when I am in love. I want to see inside the man, which allows me access to even his deepest, darkest secrets and desires. When I look up into a manâs eyes as I suck his cock, my heart beats even faster and harder, making me hornier and wetter. To see a manâs eyes reflecting the emotions he is feeling, the amazing sight he is seeing, the sensations he is experiencing, THAT stays with me and affects my every thought of him from that moment on.
I also love seeing a cock all shiny and wet with my saliva from sucking him and spitting on him. It is a turn-on for both my man and me when my mouth pulls back from sucking and there is a long rope of drool connecting my mouth with his cock. It is all part of getting 'down and dirtyâ during an intense sexual experience. The visual aspect itself is fantastic, but that is expanded even more when you add the mental stimulation. The fact that a woman will play for hours with a manâs cock and drool all over it and enjoy seeing all that wetness and get turned on by it, that is what pleases a man and when he is pleased, that in turn pleases me too.
I have often made reference to my sense of smell when engaging in close contact with another. How a man smells all over and especially when you get close to his cock, can mean the difference between a woman feeling like she is in heaven, or in bed with the toilet brush. That may sound cruel but I can understand why some women are turned off by a man who is not clean or healthy. An unhealthy man who does not eat the right foods or drink plenty of water can smell less than nice and this affects the mood and the taste of his cock and also the taste and smell of his cum.
I love the clean, fresh smell of a healthy man who takes great pride in his body. This also makes me want to worship his body as I would like mine worshiped. I even love the smell of a healthy manâs sweat. This kind of sweat is even a turn-on for me after he has been exercising and while he works out with me.
My mouth waters when I kiss the head of a manâs cock. I feel the anticipation of what he will taste like and slowly I let my tongue lick over his head and gently into the eye, marveling at the fact that this is the source of so much, most importantly, the giver of human life. Right there at the tip of his manhood is the place where such important bodily fluids are excreted. My knees go weak when I think about this place I am licking, allowing myself to love all that this sacred tool is used for.
I love using my tongue to trace a line of saliva around the rim of his mushroom head and allow it to pop in and out of my mouth. This gets me really worked up as it is very sexual. I love to look up right then and see him close his eyes in pleasure at the friction that is created with this movement. I love to hear the sounds of his rapid breathing and the deep rumbling timbre of his lustful groans. I love the excited thrusting motions as he tilts his hips to meet my hungry mouth. Allowing the rhythm to take a hold of me and escalate, is something so exciting.
Hands are so important during all forms of sex as they are what 'speaksâ when there are no words. My favorite is kissing him while working my saliva covered hands up and down his slick shaft, being sure to stimulate the sensitive parts around the rim of his head. I enjoy pulling my head back a little so I can just look into his eyes while masturbating him and telling him how much I love him and what I am doing to him. There is so much you can do with your hands during a blow-job, an endless list of techniques which stimulate him in different ways, like rotating two hands around him or stroking his balls at the same time, or just using two fingers, thumb and second finger in the shape of an O, just rapidly over his head.
I love the sense of power that I have when I hold my manâs cock in my mouth or hands. At that moment and for the next hour or two, I am in control of what happens, and I am responsible for him having the most sensational, meaningful experience possible. I want it to be mind-blowing for him and not over and done with in an instant. I want to take him to the edge as many times as possible, stopping every time he is about to cum. I want him to experience orgasms of the mind and body, sometimes cumming only a little bit (if he is capable of that, not all men can do it) and then at the end, allowing him to shoot hot ribbons of cum as far as he can, or all over me.
The first time I tried to swallow a manâs cum I was only eighteen years old and I did not like the taste. It was like horrible warm soup to me and I had to spit it out, almost vomiting in the process. For some women it is like that every time and they never get used to the taste and smell. But for me, the greater my love for the man, the greater my fascination with his cum. Now I love to smell it and lick the little droplets of pre-cum off the tip of his cock. I love the feeling of accepting his 'offeringâ to me like a reward for my efforts when he finally cums.
I have learned that a man is very proud of his cock and what cums out of it. For him to see a woman enjoying his cock and his cum, makes him feel emotions that are almost too hard to put into words. When I saw my fist porno I watched in horror as the man came all over the womanâs face and tits as well as into her mouth. I couldnât believe she was actually enjoying that! Now I beg for cum. I love the fact that it is such a turn-on for a man to see his cum all over a woman as she smiles and licks it off. Once again, I put the shoe on the other foot and see it from his point of view. How AMAZING must it be to look down on a woman on her knees as long ribbons of cum spurt out of your cock and land all over her lovely face?
There are so many things you can do when you have a manâs cock in your mouth. When I first watched porn, I would skip over the part where the woman was sucking him because I had no real concept of what went on during that time, the cameral didnât go into her mouth. But now I know how much actually goes on in there. You can tell from the sounds a man is making what is happening to his cock. I like to flick the tip of my tongue over the eye of a manâs cock and especially work up a rhythm around the sensitive dent where the rim meets on the underside of his cock, all the while still sucking him and moving his cock in and out of my mouth. This can only be felt by my man and me but not seen by anyone watching.
Another discovery which was so exciting for me was the concept of 'deep throatingâ. I never realized that it was possible to take a manâs cock down deep into my throat. I thought that when it slid into my mouth and stopped, that was it, that was as far as it could go. When I found out that a cock can actually move past that stopping point and slide down my throat I was so amazed. It is hard work, especially with a thick cock but the look on his face, pure joy, and the sounds of raw ecstasy in his voice as he realizes what you are doing for him, that is worth any discomfort. I have enjoyed this form of giving and have made it a point to 'practiceâ as often as I can so I get used to relaxing my throat to ward off my 'gagging reflexâ. This is where I like to use my various different sized dildos.
There are still two more senses I have not gone into in any great depth. Those are the sounds and the feel or more importantly, the feelings. I find the sounds that sucking on a cock makes, exciting and dirty in an animal-like way. The squelching sounds of hands covered in saliva, rubbing over a dripping cock, fucking awesome! It all adds to the experience in a positive way, heightening sexual pleasure for both the man and the woman.
I always say to men that if they want to know how the head of a cock feels in your mouth, then take a boiled egg and peel it. Pop it into your mouth and lick it, and that is what it feels like. It is so smooth and velvety and delicate, so sweet and succulent. I love textures, materials that are smooth or ribbed, silky or course. The feel of a manâs hairy strong arm against my smooth bald pussy, this all adds to the excitement and sensation so that feeling of touching his cock and balls to me is like an 'all you can eat buffetâ is to a starving man.
I know that I have only touched the surface of what can be done, and what can be felt when going down on a man or 'giving headâ, but I am not a very technical type of person so I can only try to describe how it feels to me. My greatest fantasy is to have a naked man on my bed and to have the next few hours or days or weeks to just do everything I have always dreamed of doing to and for him. For me it all begins and ends with the mind. First you must have the thought and then you put it into action. But at the end you must be able to reflect on what you did and communicate with your partner. This way you learn from each experience and find ways of improving each time.
There is an endless world of different sexual experiences to be had so there are no excuses for doing the same thing, the same way, every time.
So women who just suck their manâs cock for a few minutes as foreplay should re-examine what they are giving. You donât cook the same dish, the same way, every day, so why not shake things up a bit? I believe that women who have a sexy male in their life, should worship his cock.
By Ana Lee Pleasured for Literotica
from How-To Sex Podcast
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
It may be time to let the girls out of boob prison.
With Sam EscobaR, Tonilyn HornunG, & CQt Rose. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
With their pokey underwire, thick straps and sweat-trapping cups, bras are not always the most comfortable thing in the world. Sure, getting a bra that properly fits can do wonders for your boobs, but there's nothing quite like going without one.
While there are certainly some folks who simply can't go bra-free, whether it's due to comfort or size, the ones who can; seem to universally agree that it is supremely amazing â whether you do it in public or just in the comfort of your own home. As someone with large breasts who has recently started embracing the wonders of going braless, I am totally obsessed. Why? Let me count the ways.
1. Your boob sweat can just ... evaporate.
Look, one of the most inconvenient things about summer (and having big boobs in general) is the pool of under-boob sweat that appears with the slightest hint of heat. When you skip the bra, you have a chance to air it all out rather than pressing that gross moisture against your skin all day. It even creates health risks of skin infections and rashes.
2. Your natural chest shape emerges.
For years, I thought that extremely round, padded and shaped look was the best one for my body. Now that I've started skipping a bra all together, I actually get to see the shape of my breasts, about which I've been previously self-conscious. It's fine if you like a bra-shaped appearance for your boobs, but it never hurts to try something new.
3. You realize how unique all boobs are.
Since the bra-free look has returned to popularity, more folks with differently shaped breasts have been rocking it. Droopy, small, large, asymmetrical, perky â all sorts, not just the one type fashion, movies and TV would have us believe. And the cool thing about that is that it's a reminder of how different chests are from one person to the next.
4. You get that "just took off my bra" feeling all. day. long.
You know how wonderful it feels to remove your bra the moment you get home? Imagine experiencing that delight for the entire day.
5. You save money on bras.
Fact: Bras are expensive. Another fact: Replacing them is annoying. If you wind up only wearing one for half of the week, you go through 'em half as fast â and spend half as much.
6. Nipples are highly underrated accessories.
The 1970s was a glamorous decade filled with glitz, gold and visible nipples. Take a page from the disco era and allow your nipples to add a little extra fun to your look. After all, men wear theirs out literally the entire summer. What's the big deal about letting ours simply rest naturally under the fabric of a shirt?
7. You look great in a crop top.
If you've ever felt so inclined to try the continuously popular crop top (hey â it's for any age, any body type!), I've got great news for you: They look great sans bra.
8. At the end of the day, you don't have all those pressure lines.
Even the best bras can leave some uncomfortable marks on your skin â why not just skip 'em all together?
9. It feels just a little extra adventurous.
I'll be honest: Going without a bra sometimes translates to risking a "wardrobe malfunction," depending on what you wear it with. But hey, you only live once. You might as well feel extra alive every once in a while â and that breeze-plus-boobs combo will definitely help.
10. Going without a bra doesn't make your boobs "sag."
First of all, some breasts are naturally droopy. That's a fact, and it's fine. You don't need to be afraid of it! Second, there's this oft-repeated old wives' tale that if you don't wear a bra, your breasts will get lower and lower, but a 15-year French study actually concluded the opposite. In fact, the study found that women who went without bras developed more muscle tissue, allowing their bodies to support their breasts naturally. Thanks, science!
11. You remember that if something makes you uncomfortable, sometimes it's best to just skip it.
Obviously (and unfortunately) there are situations where people are going to judge you for what you wear. However, if you feel your most confident heading out to dinner or to the park without a bra, let yourself just go for it. And don't listen to anyone who says your breasts aren't the right shape, size or type to go bra-free.
12. Once you adjust to how it feels sans bra, it can feel seriously powerful.
Yes, really. Just trust me.
Why I Stopped Wearing a BraMy mom's refusal to wear one used to embarrass me. Now I get it.
BY TONILYN HORNUNG
It used to embarrass me â my mom's refusal to wear a bra. I'm not sure why, really. It's not like she jogged her way through life forcing everyone to stare at her heaving chest, but as a teenager, I found her refusal mortifying. I'm sure a therapist would delve deeper into the reasons why this may have bothered me, saying something along the lines of, "Seeing your mother in any way womanly or sexualized made her seem like more of a real person than a mother," but to my basic teenage brain, it was simpler. Women wore bras. That's just what women did, and my mom was a woman, so she should wear her bra. But she did not. Now, as an adult, I think my mom might have been on to something.
There was a time I enjoyed buying frilly, lacy bras, and such. Walking into Victoria's Secret was a quiet thrill for this shy, little Catholic schoolgirl. I'm sure my husband would appreciate it if that thrill still existed in my world, but if I'm being honest, the last time I bought a bra was over three years ago. No, I have not decided to burn all my bras for some sort of political statement or because it was super cold this last winter. I haven't purchased a bra for a very good reason.
I wore a bra for two years straight.
The pregnancy books don't really tell a nervous mom-to-be all there is to know about Mom Boobs. Sure, the books go into fantastic detail about all sorts of other pregnancy issues, using scary words like "discharge" and phrases like "growing areolas." But I found that the majority of these helpful tomes forgot to mention that a pregnant lady's breasts can be so tender that putting on a bra, and then strapping them down with an Ace bandage, is the only way to walk up and down a flight of stairs comfortably. The bra (with the Ace bandage) became my best friend during my pregnancy.
I figured after I had the baby, my life and my boobs would achieve some sort of normalcy. I thought I'd be home free, but then I started nursing my baby. Again, I needed a bra to support my milkshakes â but this time it was a nursing bra. These contraptions are slightly more comfortable than a real bra but unlike a normal bra, they open in the front for a little quick air conditioning on a hot summer day. Still, though, trying to sleep without "The Girls" contained was as uncomfortable as sleeping on two actual cartons of milk. So I wore a bra during my pregnancy and while breastfeeding â day and night for two years. (I did take it off to shower.)
Now I require freedom!
At most, a passerby might see me in a sports bra just to keep "The Girls" from roaming all over the place, but I can't stand wearing a real bra anymore. They feel tight and constrictive. I have earned the right to feel my "Girls" flop against my stomach as I sit, but more important, I've discovered my mother's secret: Bras are uncomfortable.
Perhaps one day I will come around and prefer a little lace and wire help hike up my puppies, versus the power of gravity, but for now, I like my freedom. And maybe if I actually used the Victoria's Secret gift card my husband bought for me last Valentine's Day, I might discover bras have evolved over the last several years to where it feels like a person is wearing nothing. But I have a better idea. Why not actually wear nothing?
Oh god! 10 years from now, what will my teen daughter say about my free puppies?
By Tonilyn HornunG
My back pain Is Gone!My horny hubbyâs idea helped me deal with upper back pain.
By CQt Rose
Not wearing a bra... braless... letting the puppies (or kittens, in my case) play freely. Yes, when I went to the grocery store this morning, I didn't bother strapping the girls into anything that would restrict their natural movement. Shopping at the mall? Nope. Church last Sunday? Sorry, that was me swaying completely to the music. (Oh, get over it. Do you really think Mary, mother of Jesus, wore a bra? I rest my case.) Shirts versus skins amateur basketball tournament? Dang, I was benched before that decision had to be made.
Looking back, I can see how naive and silly I was fifteen years ago. I can also remember the real reason I rarely confine my chest into some modern day instrument of Puritanism.
It was the turn of the century (the year 2000, for the calendar deficient). Between the stress of work, my husband launching his own business, and a move from my beloved home to a big city, everything was crashing down on me. The end result was headaches, upper back pain, and a miserable me.
I suffered through it for almost six months before that fateful day my husband came to me with a bewildering question: would I be willing to try going without a bra for a month to see if it helped my maladies.
Fifteen years ago, prior to that moment, before six months of increasingly excruciating pain, I wouldn't be caught dead without a bra. I even slept in a sports bra.
My hubby is a curious sort and loves research. He had been looking for anything we hadn't tried to help my upper thoracic(back)/lower cervical(neck) spasms, which were the likely source of my recurrent head aches. Low-and-behold, an unpublished work by a couple of orthopedic surgeons in England reported an unusual finding.
Women scheduled for surgery due to neck and upper back pain, when asked to go without the 'benefit' of a bra during pre-surgical preparations, often noted reduced symptoms, even before their actual surgery.
Discussing things, the dynamic-doctor-duo started to consider the bio-mechanics of the brassiere.
They noted that those nasty things were distributing weight from the front of the chest, up over the shoulders, crossing directly over the thoracic-cervical spinal transition zone and associated parts: muscles, joints, spine. Everything was potentially affected, even resting posture. That shoulder-to-shoulder boulder holder was intentionally moving structural stress onto the upper back and lower neck. It couldn't really be that simple, could it?
Obviously, the bra was made by a group of men to help women, right? Nope. The brassiere was made to keep the God-fearing menfolk focused on their jobs and proper etiquette. Why bother retraining a man when you could more easily torture a non-voting woman. Rapidly the freedom of movement was replaced by the proper brassiere, corset, and other torment devices. All to keep evil women from flaunting their apple-eating harlot bodies, and thus deliberately forcing men to have improper thoughts. Heaven knows, no righteous guy would ever have an improper thought if not directly lured by a woman... at least not more than six a minute. (Yes, I know, that study was flawed, but it's still very funny.)
With the passing of time, this original reason for the invention of the bra has been lost. Most people incorrectly think it was made to help women by supporting the breast and to prevent sagging. Not really truth in advertising is it? Yet look what gender is running the ad campaign to promote another piece of lingerie to be added to a woman's "essential" wardrobe.
Knowing it's not to support the breast tissue, why not consider asking women, while on the waiting list for surgery, to 'go natural' for a month. I'm sure our good doctors spun it as "in preparation for surgery" instead of "because we're beady-eyed sex fiends that want to see bouncing boobies everywhere!" (Cue up "Bounce Your Boobies" by Rusty Warren.)
For their study, they evaluated pain scores, mobility, headache frequency, and any other data point they could find (I'm sure the doctors' wives nixed the nipple diameter and 'cup-ability' of the-breast-in-hand aspects of the study, but being boys first, scientists second, I bet it was on their original study outline).
Interesting trial for the patient, not so good for surgical income because a significant portion of the women who went braless improved enough not to need surgery. Back pain? Gone. Neck pain? Nada. Headaches? "Dammit, Jim, bring that one back or I'm gonna have to start putting out!"
Returning to my own painful situation, facing my husband's puppy-dog eyes begging me to try, I bit the bullet. I bit my lip. I did a hundred hail Mary's that first day, asking forgiveness for my sin. I left the bra off.
The following morning, I got reminded not to put it on.
"But it's not working," I whine to my scientist.
"It's been eleven hours," he says.
"Yes! And it's not working!" I emphasize, since he seems to want to prove my point.
"How long have you been in pain?"
"Four months."
"Half a year, sorry. Nice try. Next contestant," Doctor Smarty-Pants says.
"So? It's not working," I grumble.
"So I get half a day to fix a problem spawning, growing, consuming you for six months? The study said four to six weeks."
"But people will see!"
"You mean under your T-shirt, button-up, sweat shirt, and... please! A scarf? It's spring, at least lose the scarf."
I reluctantly put down the bra, leaving all the other clothes on, thankful it was my day off. No freaking way I was going to work without a bra.
Little did I know just how adamant my belligerent husband could be in some instances.
The next day is much easier. Much fucking easier because, "Where the hell are all my bras?" I snarl.
He swallows with a deer-in-headlight look. Not a good sign before I've had my breakfast. He bolts for the door.
"Stop! Man-up!" I yell at his retreating back.
He turns back toward me when at a safe distance, "That's cowboy up, to you, sweetie! Free Willie!" and he pumps his fist in the air before hastening to finish his escape.
By the end of the second week, I'm woman enough to admit, I was having fewer headaches. My neck still ached like a son-of-a, but I swear, Aspirin and I were no longer having an intimate relationship. Of course, neither were my husband and I, but that's not necessarily out of the ordinary.
Finishing the third week, he had grown a set and returned to our bed, sleeping uneasily as I occasionally sang the 'Bobbit' song. I wasn't going to mention my neck pain was reduced by more than half. Let him sweat a little more.
End of the first month? I wanted my brassieres back, but only for special occasions. Like when I go out in public. When I get up in the morning. When I go to bed at night. You wouldn't take Linus' security blanket away, would you? Unfortunately, my husband would... the bastard.
Start of week five. I had to start being honest with him, because he'd hidden a small fortune in lingerie. My neck and upper back were almost completely pain free. I hadn't had a headache for almost ten days. My boobs didn't hurt. They weren't even hitting my knees... yet.
Ladies? Here's a special hint: don't marry a scientist. Not only will they try to support everything with fact, plus at least two references, but everything becomes a classic study where a single result means nothing.
"Ok, you tried our little test. You can have them all back," he smiles, returning the stack of my clothing. He earns himself a blow job. (Oh, as if you've never been so happy to get your way you don't go a little crazy.)
Little did I know, his devious man-mind was still at work. Two weeks later, I make the mistake of dumping out three aspirin onto my plate at breakfast.
"Headache, huh?"
"No shit, Sherlock, who gave you the first clue?" I glare at him, daring him to mention labeled dose.
"You want me to rub your shoulders?"
Never trust a guy volunteering to give you a back rub. He wants something. Or, in my case, he's about to prove something I don't want to really hear.
"Sure," I say, somewhat dejectedly into my toast and pills.
His hands gently start at my shoulders, then in toward my lower neck...
"Holy mother of... stop! Ow! Stop!"
"Oh, sorry. Neck pain?"
"Yes, Einstein, and shoulder tenseness, and..."
Flick. Where the fuck do guys learn to do that? I didn't even have time to flinch, let alone stop to realize what he was doing reaching behind my back again. My girls drop two inches.
"Fucker."
"Thank you. We're starting braless study, phase three now. I trust you can have your bras and use them responsibly? Only in dire emergency? Like you've got an audience with the Pope?"
"Fucker." Only this time, it's said in that tone that means I've given up. Dammit, the stupid Y chromosome-holding genetic freak now held all the cards. {Funny, I never realized how much I could swear when in pain. The good news is that scientific studies show cursing increases your pain tolerance - cuss away.}
"Thank you. You want help taking it the rest of the way off?"
Stupid-ass puppy-dog eyes. God I love him. No matter how hard he makes it.
It only takes three weeks this time. Completely pain free. Last aspirin almost the day after our showdown. I wore a bra less than seven hours over that period of time, and only because it was summer now, and it's too hot to keep wearing a sweatshirt every time I go out.
Then a not-so-funny thing happens. We're out and I've worn just a T-shirt and a huge baggy sweatshirt with jeans. It's hot. I was going to pass out.
"Take off your sweatshirt, silly!"
"I don't have on a bra, dipstick!"
"Sorry, I forgot. Everyone looks at you. You're the center of the universe."
"Stop being an ass, I'm dying of heat."
"You think anyone really gives a flying flip about what you are or aren't wearing? I'll help you watch for the first leery-eyed bastard that looks your way. You get 'that' look, we're out of here. If you don't get that look, you accept it: unfortunately, you're just not that important... just like me. People are in their own worlds and they never see the world around them. Take your freedom and live it."
Stupid revolutionary scientists.
I hate to admit it, but I didn't burst into flames that day not wearing one out in public. Except for the rare occasion, it didn't seem like anyone ever noticed. In fact, until much more recently when I started wearing the thinner, lace-and-sheer tops as I grew more confident and comfortable with my body, did I ever notice anyone taking a second look at me.
It's amazing, not only am I still married to the scientist, but my girls get to roam free everywhere we go. Though I still enjoy a good massage today, it's not needed for neck and upper back pain.
If you or someone you love has upper back pain, neck discomfort, shoulder tenseness, or headaches, it's an easy experiment to try on your own (at least if you're female or a bra-wearing guy). There's no serious significant side-effects and you might be surprised at the amount of mental freedom you feel.
So in answer to, "Uh, excuse me miss, but you have a very nice, uh, natural movement to you when you walk. You aren't, uh, you're not..."
"You bet, buck-o. I'm not wearing a bra! And I'm loving it!"
Another woman concurred.
Great therapy idea.There are various reasons why some women never go braless but a big reason is insecurity about their shape, thinking their breasts are too small or too big or especially if they think they are too saggy.
A group of neighborhood wives that discovered the benefits of going bra-free, in conjunction with also discovering that their supposed "imperfections" are actually attributes. It came about at a neighborhood walking group, one June evening.
One of the wives revealed that her bras cause her pain and that she goes braless at home to get relief, but is too self-conscious to do it away from home. Another confesses that her doctor told her to avoid bras for the same reason and the three other wives all admit that they hate their bras but feel compelled to wear them, even around their neighborhood friends.
The gals dared each other to leave their bras home at a future walk. The next evening at that next walking group, the wives were talking about their insecurities about their breast shape/size. to dress "conspicuously braless". The ladies eventually decide that during the next nightâs walk, as therapy, they will be braless, & forced to learn that their size/shape is OK.
At that next nightâs walking group, the women finally were all braless, and loved it. Within a couple weeks, they thought nothing of it, and when the older Anderson couple in the neighborhood started walking with them, the ladies were not bothered at all about Mr. Anderson.
By August, the neighborhood summer barbecues were also mostly braless, & the wives often showed up wearing either tube-tops, bikini tops, or went bra-less under tank-tops, in the 90 degree heat.
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No matter your size, you can make it work for you.
By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.
Weâre taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.
In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their âpackageâ. Men who donât have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.
Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.
Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women donât like being stereotyped for having big tits.
Letâs hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. Sheâs married, but claims multiple sex partners.
Length vs GirthIt is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned.
Menâs penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other menâs erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn.
Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size.
Letâs say that two men are together, one manâs penis glans (head) is bigger than the other manâs entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Letâs now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not.
A personâs reaction to a manâs penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary.
Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is âcute.â Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the âhungâ man? I believe so.
The size of a manâs penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the manâs feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man.
It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isnât going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid.
A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, letâs say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect.
Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the manâs penis or the fear of that happening.
The Whole Clitoris MattersAlthough most women care much less about menâs penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who donât prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter.
Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms.
Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience âvaginalâ orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The ânubâ is just the tip of the clitoris.
To put it crudely, the entire clitoris looks like a large wishbone that has incredibly large testicles. (Side note, the G-spot is actually the back of the clitoris.) A thicker cock can stimulate the clitoris in various areas. This is why girth is often more important to women than length is.
âShow Meâ clubsIf girth is more important to women, why are men so worried about the length of their penis? The reason is that menâs penises are their advertisement, their forecast of whatâs to come. Yet, I will admit, this, too, is situational.
My husband and I go to swing clubs, and we are also members of a nudist resort. My husband and I have both noticed that there is a big difference between the men who go to swing clubs and those who go to nudist resorts. The men we see at the swing clubs usually have penises that hang and swing when they walk. Whereas, most of the men at the nudist resort have small, or barely visible, penises.
Of course, swing clubs are sexual atmospheres. Whereas, nudist resorts are family-friendly. At the swing clubs, itâs rare to see men who have a small penis. Conversely, at the nudist resort, itâs rare to see men who are well hung. My husband has a small penis. At the swing club, my husband often feels inferior. Whereas, at the nudist resort, heâs larger than a majority of men.
We have become friends with another couple who also attend the same swing clubs we do, and they are also members of the same nudist resort. And we have talked about this with them. The wife of the couple has said that she feels more attractive at the swing club because men want to have sex with her. The husband says he likes the nudist resort most because he is around men who are more sized like he is.
Seeing the difference between the penis sizes of swingers and nudist men has made us think. In a sexually charged atmosphere, the larger penis men are seen as most valuable. Whereas, at the nudist resort, personality is what matters most. If you go online and look at nudists, you will see a lot of small penis men. Why is that?
At nudist venues, public sex or public displays of affection is forbidden. Whereas, at swing clubs, public sex is encouraged. So, what would attract one man to one place and another man to the other? Comfort and acceptance. You pretty much go to places where you feel you fit in most. So, if you have a small penis, you would feel more comfortable at a nudist venue.
Weâve gotten to know the one man, at the nudist resort, who is exceptionally well sized. To put this in perspective, he used to be a porn star, and he is bigger soft than almost all of the men I have seen (hard) at the swing clubs. He says he feels like a circus freak, sometimes, at the nudist resort. Yet, he also says that a lot of women, at the nudist resort, want sex with him. Although public sex is frowned upon at nudist venues, this big dick guy says that sex does happen, a lot, at least for him.
Neither my husband nor the husband of the other couple weâve gotten to know, have been able to get sex at the swing club. Yet, a larger penis man, at a nudist resort, gets sex, often. At the swing clubs, you get to see men both flaccid and erect. Whereas, at the nudist resort, you only see men flaccid. At the nudist resort, it doesnât matter if you are a grower or not.
Weâve been to several swing clubs and several nudist resorts, and our findings have been the same. Nudists believe that baring it all has physical and mental health benefits, including stress relief and improved self-esteem. Which makes sense, even sexually.
As a man, when you are around a lot of other men, who also have small penises, you see yourself as normal. At a swing club, if you have a small penis, you see yourself as that guy who doesnât get to have sex. And that has no physical or mental health benefits, stress relief, or improved self-esteem.
It works in reverse, tooNudism is about creating situations where there is psychological and emotional equality between people. This is not the case at swing clubs. A nudist environment is a safe, NON-sexual space. Whereas, swing/sex clubs are sexually charged. Having an erection, and not hiding it, in a nudist environment reinforces rape culture and works against everything the nudist movement stands for. Whereas, at a swing club, especially if you have a large penis, you are more than likely going to get to make new friends.
In nudist environments, sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are never appropriate. So, why is it that in swing clubs sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are permissible and even encouraged? Because nudist environments are considered wholesome and non-sexual. Whereas, swing clubs are sexual by nature. This being the case, why are there more larger penis men who go to swing clubs and smaller penis men who go to nudist resorts?
In a nudist environment, no one cares how big or small your penis is. And no one pays much attention. Whereas, at a swing club, your penis size is important. And everyone notices if you are big or small. Although nudist environments arenât sexual, a larger penis is going to be noticed, just as a small penis is going to be noticed at a swing club, but not in a good way.
To add some balance, at a swing club, a plumper woman is not going to be seen as attractive as a fit woman. And she will not be seen as sexually valuable. This is something that we have come to see. If you are a larger woman or a small penis man at a swing club, you are not seen as sexually valuable. In a nudist environment, your size, whether you are a man or a woman, isnât important. Why? Because nudist environments are non-sexual. So, in sexual situations, your size does matter, whether you like it or not.
I believe this is something many people donât understand. To most people, sex is important. And in our findings, if you are a fit woman or a man with a large penis, you are seen as sexually valuable. I think we all want sex, but because of how people are, what you look like, and what you have, matters. The biggest difference between a larger woman and a small penis man is; a larger woman is more likely to be hit on than a small penis man is.
As far as confidence goes, nudist men donât care who sees them nude, in a nudist environment. Even if they have a very small penis. Yet, at swing clubs, the larger penis men seem to be the most confident. It seems to us that confidence, where penis size is a part of it, is largely dependent on the situation and the environment. If overt sexuality is looked down upon, small penis men are the most confident. And, in sexually charged atmospheres, larger penis men are usually the most confident.
Take this outside of swing clubs and nudist environments, and penis size is often important, to both men and women. And, sadly, if you are a small penis man, even clothed and no one knows you have a small penis, the small penis man still often feels inferior. I joked once to my husband that maybe all men should be nudists. And he didnât laugh. He told me that would not be a good thing, because then youâd know who really did and did not have a small penis, and everyone would know. Not what most small penis men would wish for.
Itâs sad, considering that most things in life are not sexual, that penis size is such an issue. Big penis men complain that they canât find underwear that fits them right, or that they canât get their penis in a woman because their penis is too big. But that doesnât seem to affect their day-to-day lives. Whereas, small penis men deal with small penis problems in all aspects of their lives.
I started this post to state that the importance of penis size is situational. But I have to admit that it isnât. If the opportunity for sex doesnât exist, then penis size isnât an issue. Whereas, if sex is what people are there to have, or are looking for, then penis size is going to matter, a lot.
We are a society that sees our physical appearance as important. If you type âsexy nude womenâ in Google, what do you see? You see younger, fit women, with larger breasts. What happens when you type in âsexy nude menâ in Google? You see pictures of men who are well hung, or you see pictures of men having sex with other men. What does that tell you? Sadly, our naked bodies tell others of our sexual market value. And this is why many men fear their penis isnât big enough, or want theirs to be bigger.
Often people see sex as a private matter, but, in reality, it is more a socio-economical matter. Menâs and womenâs bodies are like sexual currency, and each body has its own sexual and socio-economic value. As stated above, when sex is not wanted or looked for, a small penis isnât an issue. When sex is the goal, that is when penis size matters.
Just 3 SecondsA man and his penis may be likened to a property owner looking to sell. It makes sense for him to advertise, market, and position his property to create increased demand and end up with the best deal. Consider actual marketing, the business that has the most money can attract the most customers. Now, look at men and penises. The man who has the most to advertise is going to attract the most sexual partners.
A recent study revealed that women see a manâs height and penis size as equally important. And in this study, it was proven that women can approve of or reject a manâs penis in three seconds, by simply looking at it, and the majority of women in the study stated that they did not find a small penis attractive.
One thing that all men have to realize is that women can and do have sex more often than men, and usually understate their number of sexual partners. What this means is that no matter who you are, as a man, chances are good that the woman youâre having sex with has probably had sex with more men than you will with other women.
What does a womanâs number of sexual partners have to do with penis size?
If you are a man who has an erect penis that measures 3.75 inches long and 3 inches in circumference, and all the other men that your present sexual partner has been with have been at least 6.5 inches long and 5.75 inches in circumference, Youâll have a challenge before you. The other men were all almost twice your size in both length and girth.
Kinky Options âFor Small Cocks OnlyâKeep in mind, though, if a woman is into anal sex, many women prefer a thinner penis. And if you are on the smaller side, a woman can get your entire cock in her mouth, she can deep throat you. Then, she can relax and just have fun with your cock.
Some might say that a womanâs vagina feels different if she has recently had sex with a man who had a much larger cock. If it has been a while, the same woman may feel tighter. If you enter a woman just after another man pulled out of her, and his cock is larger than yours is, the woman may feel loose to you. And if you have a large cock yourself, you may never meet a woman that youâd consider to be loose.
There are benefits no matter what side of the scale youâre on. If you have a smaller cock, you may get to do more than a man who has a much larger cock. If you are a man who has a larger cock, you might get sex more often. Yet, if your cock is the size a woman can have fun with, then you win, no matter what.
Although any man with any size penis can please a woman, and enjoy himself, men still concern themselves with something they canât change. Your penis canât be any bigger than it is, you canât change how tall you are, but you can lose weight and work out to improve your market value. Instead of focusing on what you canât change, focus on what you can change.
Iâm not saying that there is ever going to be a time when a smaller penis is seen as superior to a larger penis. What I am saying is that larger and smaller penis men can and do get sex. And you can, too, no matter the size of your penis.
In conclusion, men will probably always worry or be discontent when it comes to their penis, but keep in mind that women also worry about their bodies and parts. The fact that women have sex with more men than men do women should tell you that youâre still in the running, no matter your size.
By PolySwingerWife for Literotica
from How-To Sex Podcast
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No matter your size, you can make it work for you.
By Dancing Sprite. World Data.info, Risia Skye, & nh play guy. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.
Weâre taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.
In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their âpackageâ. Men who donât have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.
Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.
Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women donât like being stereotyped for having big tits.
How does your equipment compare to others? Find out!Dancing Sprite provides some historic statistics, so our further conversations will be based on a proper perspective.
Few questions seem to occupy men as much as the size of their dicks. Is it too short? Will my girl think Iâm a bad lover or even laugh at me because itâs shorter than others sheâs had? Is it long enough to reach every nook and cranny of her pussy and stimulate each and every nerve ending? How does my dick compare to others? Is it longer? Shorter? Average?
Questions upon questions. Especially avid readers of porn stories, who regularly come across tales of 10", 12", or even 15" cocks, often canât help comparing these specimens to their own equipment and, not surprisingly, find their own dicks to be much smaller than the ones they read about. The question that has to come up sooner or later is: whoâs the freak, the guy in the story with the 12" monster or me with my 5" dick? How long is the average human penis, anyway?
Despite widespread interest in this question, however, there are surprisingly few scientific studies which could give us a definitive answer. Instead, as always, when solid information is scarce, rumors and speculations run rampant. Even basic facts become the subject of heated arguments among locker room buddies and many men are more confused than ever. Most obvious is the fact that, according to leading sexologists, almost 80 percent of all men secretly believe that their dick is shorter than average.
While the optimum penis size will probably always remain subject to debate, at least the average size doesnât have to be.
Kinsey Institute Weighs InThe first extensive study of penis sizes was undertaken by the Alfred C. Kinsey Institute for Sex Research in the mid-1940s and found the average penis to be 6.2" long. This study, which is still kind of an authority on the subject, had one flaw, however: participants in the study were never actually measured; they were given stamped postcards on which they marked the length of their erect penises, then mailed the results back to the institute. This procedure was often criticized for its lack of supervision of the participants and the possibility of distortions due to inaccurate measurements or downright cheating. Itâs called âself-reportingâ and is widely discredited for clinical research protocols.
After the Kinsey report, several other studies on the same subject followed, conducted among others by the University of California in San Francisco and the Lifestyles Condom Company. These studies came to slightly different results, but all found the average penis length to be somewhere about 10 shorter than Kinsey; between 5.1" and 5.9".
As is the case with most objects in nature, the distribution of penis lengths follows a bell curve. The line peaks just under 6" and falls to both sides; the farther away you get from the statistical average, the less frequent a certain length occurs. In fact, about 90 percent of all penises are between 5" and 7" long.
The longest penis ever described in medical literature, a 14" specimen, was mentioned in a book by Dr. David Reuben, but since he didnât give a source and the measurement could not be independently verified, scientists tend to disregard that report. The longest medically verified penis is not far behind, however; in the early 20th century, Dr. Robert Dickinson came across a 13 point 5" penis, which still holds the record. Other studies found various penises between 9" and 12", but organs of this length are in fact quite rare.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, the smallest fully functional penises documented in medical literature measure around point 5" in length. While many people might balk at the description of a half-inch dick as âfully functional,â in this context it means being able to get erect and have an ejaculation(somehow).
Your Turn To survey.In case youâve never measured your own dick and are wondering how to do it correctly, itâs easy: first you need to get an erection, then you stand upright and hold your penis at a 90 degree angle from your pelvic bone, i.e. parallel to the floor. Now place a ruler on top of it, press it lightly against your pelvic bone, and read the number off the ruler where the tip is. Donât cheat!
Now, before you decide to throw a party because your dick is longer than average after all, or jump off a bridge because it really is shorter, hereâs the result of another study:
Most women donât care!About 80 percent of the women who were interviewed expressed no preference for penis size; they said that what a man is able to do with it is the important thing, not its size. And while some women do indeed prefer long dicks, the majority of the remaining 20 percent said they didnât like large penises because they hurt.
There you have it, guys. Donât worry about its size, just use it and have fun!
WorldData.info recently conducted a global âself-reportingâ survey.They found no association between age or body mass.
No other topic on this website has been asked for more often than the average size of male genitalia. This international comparison now gives some basic data about the mean sizes per country.
Over all countries, the average size of a penis is about 5.35". The longest ones are 6.93" long on average and carried by men in Ecuador. The average length in Cambodia is only 3.95", which is about 6.1 percent of the body height.
Among Caucasians, the nations of Georgia, France, Netherlands, and Canada were all slightly longer than 6â, while most Asian and Middle Eastern nations fell short of 5â.
The USA, Russia, Japan, India, & the British men all approached 5 point 5 inches.
Clearly, Southeast Asian men were have the smallest average cocks; in the 4â range.
The average cock lengthens 50% when transitioning from a warm dry flaccid state, to a rigid & fully erect state.
A little frank talk about the (un)importance of sizeAnd now letâs talk a while about how a woman deals with a manâs phallus, and what she needs.
What Can A Woman Handle?By Risia Skye
Myth: Secretly, women all really want an enormously endowed man and only pretend not to; so as not to hurt menâs feelings. Men, how many times have you heard women say that it doesnât matter; and how many of other times have you heard comedians make jokes about what a lie this is? Which do you believe, or do you not know what to think anymore? Women, surely youâve noticed that men seem to worry a great deal about the size of their cocks, right? In all likelihood, youâve even measured at least one hard-on for a partner who was âjust curious.â Ever wonder what causes that anxiety? Well, no wonder theyâre confused and even scared about how their equipment âmeasures upâ; with all the mixed messages out there, itâs a wonder men arenât more obsessed with the size question. Itâs tough enough to get naked in front of another person and open oneâs self to body judgement, let alone taking that risk when you canât even tell whatâs attractive to the opposite sex, much less whether or not you fit the bill.
Reality: Penis size doesnât (really) matter. The truth is that thereâs no simple, always true for all women, standard answer as to whatâs the best size, for a variety of reasons. Pussies are differently sized, for one thing, and are thus optimally stimulated by different sizes and shapes of cock. Also, thereâs a great deal of truth to the old adage that âitâs not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean.â While among ourselves, most women will admit that penis size does have some impact on sexual satisfaction, thereâs a lot of wrong ideas (especially among men) about what that really means. For one thing, while most men seem to focus their size-anxieties on it, most women donât really care about length; the average vagina is only 4 to 5 inches deep, and the average erection is slightly over five inches, so that all works out just fine the majority of the time. Circumference, on the other hand, can seriously affect the experience of intercourse. Women, by and large, enjoy the sensation of fullness that can only come from girth; itâs the flip side to menâs enjoyment of a tight, clenching pussy.
And, even if a man has limited endowment; in both length and girth; he can be a skilled and fully satisfying sexual partner for most women. A smaller than average erection doesnât equate to a bad lover because attentive foreplay and technical proficiency go a long way; rather than sweat the issue or do silly things like buy products which claim to increase size, youâd be better off accepting your body and learning to make optimal use of the equipment you were dealt by the hand of Fate. In fact, regardless of penis size, every man has the potential to be a good lover; and the best way to start is by taking the focus off of genital measurements and redirecting it toward a much broader idea of eroticism and sex appeal. Learning to use the whole body and mind during the sexual experience, rather than relying upon erection size as the barometer of sexual prowess, makes for a much better lover.
Corollary myth: a big cock makes for a good lover. First, Iâm not denying that some women really are size queens; they truly do prefer, or even insist upon, sexual partners with larger (sometimes significantly so) than average organs. Letâs address the size-focused minority first and get it out of the way: there are three principle groups of female size queens and size-fantasists. Some see it as exotic, often associating cock size with race or some other way in which the ideal partner is different from the woman; much the same way a man might eroticize Asian women based on stereotypical images of the submissive âLotus Flowerâ or the sexually voracious bitch-goddess known as the âDragon Lady.â For this group of women, penis size is often occupying the place of the real turn-on because the implications of the fantasy are uncomfortable; for example, given U.S. cultural history, what does it mean for a white woman to fantasize about being fucked senseless by a big, well-muscled and hugely endowed black man? And who wants to think about history, racist stereotypes, and cultural role reversal taboos when theyâre trying to get off anyway? Other women actually like a plus-sized erection because itâs tougher to have satisfying sex with than average-sized equipment; think of it as a scaled down version of the attraction to Mt. Everest.
Corollary reality: a larger than average penis can actually make sex much more difficult, frustrating, and even painful. And some women actually sexually desire oversized phalluses because the sexual experience might be difficult due to size. Particularly for women who consider themselves skilled and experienced in bed, taking pride in this image of themselves, encountering a particularly daunting erection is a challenge to their self-image that cannot go unanswered, and having âbeen there and done thatâ will add another notch to their accumulation of diverse sexual experiences. Also, sexual masochism is more prevalent among women than men, which means that some women actually desire to be penetrated by uncomfortably or even painfully large phalluses; while heterosexual men are the least likely to understand this, because theyâre statistically the least likely to find pleasure in masochism.
Even if a particular woman really and truly only wants to have sex with jumbo-sized members, a big erection doesnât automatically equate to a good sexual experience. Much like the prettiest girl in high school tended to get away with being a bitch to everyone else, well-endowed men often seem to consider the size of their package a license for laziness in bed, treating it as the reincarnation of cavemenâs clubs; as though women will simply fall at their feet in a swoon of sexual frenzy from the mere sight of the thing. Having a big one means a whole lot more to men than it does to most women, and it does absolutely nothing to make a man better in bed; in fact, a man with a truly large penis who lacks skill is often actively worse than an average sized man of the same skill because a large erection is difficult to manipulate, a challenge to perform oral sex on, and hurts to fuck if itâs done badly.
Global Cock Research and commentaryFinally, weâll finish part 1 of this topic with a manâs insights and research.
Size Ainât Everything, and I can Prove It.How much of an issue is a manâs size?
By nh play guy
Iâm a 45 year old, married man who, Iâm reluctant to admit, has cheated many times over the years. Of all the women Iâve been with; and the number is probably close to two dozen; Iâve never once been the âbiggestâ guy theyâd ever been with. Usually I wasnât as big as the guy they were currently with. Yep, thatâs right, most of these women were married; or at least in a relationship with someone else; someone who was well endowed.
Maybe I should describe my âselfâ before I go too far. I donât want you to get the wrong idea. Iâm not an under-endowed guy with 3 or 4 inches. Actually, if the statistics I keep hearing are correct; that the average size is between 5 and 6 inches; then Iâm on the high end of average or perhaps slightly larger. That said, every woman Iâve been with was used to a bigger guy. Excluding the unusual instance of simply not being compatible, every one of them preferred sex with me over sex with the larger man she was accustomed to.
When pressed, they admitted it wasnât that the other guy was too big; most of them usually did like the size (or at least didnât object to it). No, it was more the sex itself that wasnât what it could be for them.
My own opinion is that these men are at least somewhat aware that theyâre comparatively well-endowed and they think thatâs enough. They simply donât try to please the woman because they think that the sheer size will âimpressâ them and please them.
I, on the other hand, do try to please my partner. Yes, of course there are times when Iâm selfish, but thatâs the exception. As a rule, I get the most pleasure from the knowledge that my partner was well and thoroughly pleased.
So anyway, based on my experience, Iâm convinced that size isnât that much of an issue. Itâs probably important to at least have âenoughâ; whatever that might be; but beyond that, itâs just a bonus.
What I had a tricky time understanding was, if Iâm average size (statistic-wise), how is it that all these women think Iâm small? In all seriousness, I was becoming depressed over it. I started wondering if the statistics were false; made up in order to buoy the fragile male ego.
I tried every way I could think of to get to the truth about size. I consulted web sites, articles, reference books; I even asked a few of my female friends about their size preference. Everything seemed to reinforce the 5 to 6 inch average.
It seems to me that there are three likely reasons for these women to consider me small.
The first PossibilityAs mentioned above, is that average size is really bigger than I think, and I really am actually small. Now, I really did do my best to find the truth and can tell you without influence of ego that Iâm satisfied thatâs not the case.
So that leaves a second possibility.As alluded to earlier, perhaps these larger endowed men are just selfish and lazy lovers. After all, none of these women were with me because they were dissatisfied with another average or smaller guy. No, they were all used to being with bigger men. So maybe thatâs the answer; bigger guys are just lazy lovers. I guess thatâs possible. But I canât believe thatâs true of all of them. Sure, maybe some, but all? I have a hard time accepting that.
So that brings us to the third possibility.Maybe these women who are fortunate enough to attract well-hung men also just happen to be women who enjoy sexual variety.
If we explore that a little deeper, weâll most likely find that these women are extremely sexual creatures. They probably exude confidence and sexuality. If thatâs true, it may stand to reason that only a man who knows heâs well-endowed would have the necessary confidence (and therefore, courage) to actually approach these women. With few exceptions, women will select a man from among those who openly show an interest. Women donât usually make the first move.
Okay, so hereâs what we have: a woman whoâs very sexy and perhaps a little intimidating. Only the most confident of men will make an advance on her. The reason these men are so sexually confident in the first place is (speculatively) because theyâre well endowed. Therefore, the only men these women are ever with are well hung men.
But thereâs good news. Remember above I said these women like sexual variety? So you and I have a chance. As long as weâre not assholes, and the woman in question (not knowing whatâs in our pants) finds us otherwise attractive, we just have to have the balls to approach them.
Once weâve gotten our chance though; and this is important guys; donât fuck up. Remember, weâre not the big luxury-liner that doesnât even have to try in order to be impressive. No, weâre more like âthe little engine that couldâ. We keep trying and doing whatever it takes to please her.
Donât forget, odds are, sheâs always had bigger guys, so she may be surprised when she sees you (most likely she wonât embarrass you though, so donât get all uptight). So you have to impress her with your attentiveness and; dare I say it; confidence (not arrogance; thatâs for those other guys with the big dicks; you know, the guys whoâs women youâre screwing because they are arrogant).
Now that weâve got that straightened out, Iâd like to talk about the other side of this; because you may not be aware of it, but this whole thing is a giant double-standard. âWhat do you mean?â You ask.
Here we are, a bunch of average guys, whining about how lifeâs not fair. âIâd have a better chance with the ladies and Iâd be a lot happier and all would be right with the world; if only I had a bigger dick.â For crying out loud, quit your belly-aching.
What about all the women who you never even consider because they donât match you idea of perfection? Most of these women are lovely and sexy in their own right. Unfortunately, it requires someone whoâs not narrow-minded to see it.
Maybe they have a little more meat on their bones than you like (donât knock it, you probably donât know what youâre missing). Maybe theyâre a little older (trust me; definitely donât knock that). Maybe they simply suffer from the curse of being average (sound familiar?). Iâve been with several women; some from each of those âcategoriesâ; and let me tell you: they will rock your world if you just give them a chance.
Think about this: do you know the other dirty little secret to this double-standard? You know how the guys with the big dicks are arrogant and selfish (some of them)? Well guess what these beautiful, sexy, ideal-looking love goddesses are like (some of them).
It works both ways guys.
By nh play guy
Our next episode will include insights from a hyper-active swinger named Evangelina, whose had many many men, yet her own husband measures a bit shorter than average.
To be continued in Part 2
By Dancing Sprite, RisiaSkye, nh play guy, & WorldData.info
from How-To Sex Podcast
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A discussion of Womensâ Breasts and Sexuality
By CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321 . Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.
Weâve spent a good amount of time and attention on a manâs physiology and the impact on sexuality. Now lets discuss a womanâs breasts. They are often called tits, a term originating from the French word, tetons. Youâve also heard the terms; boobs, knockers, puppies, milkers, bust, mammaries, and other slang descriptives.
Letâs start by discussing the variety of female mammary glands, worldwide. A global study recently published several findings. Letâs look at what the Daily Mail website has to say.
America, the busty-ful!By CARLY STERN FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
PUBLISHED: June 2016
Sweet Land of Lib-bra-ty! A new study found that American women have the biggest natural breasts in the world. Scientists measured the breasts of women in 108 countries, excluding anyone whoâd had breast surgery, was pregnant, or was breastfeeding.
American women revealed as having the biggest natural breasts in the world, while Brits come in fifth and Filipinos are last.
Researches measured breasts of women born in 108 countries; excluding those whoâd had breast surgery, were pregnant, or were breastfeeding. The results clearly found Caucasian United States Americans have, on average, the biggest breasts, followed by Canadians and non-Caucasian U S Americans. Women in Europe tend to have bigger breasts, while women in Africa and Asia (particularly Southeast Asia) have smaller ones.
In a not-entirely-surprising bit of news, American women have been found to have the biggest breasts in the world.
A group of researchers conducted a study; for science; to compare the average natural breast volume of women born in 108 countries. Excluding women whoâd had surgery, were pregnant, were breastfeeding, or had been pregnant within the past 12 months, the scientists found that those born in the USA has significantly more ample assets.
In the study published in The Journal of Female Health Sciences, the researchers broke down countries from the bustiest to the most flat-chested, analyzing the mean volume and cup size of each nation.
Nearly 400,000 women around the world were measured for the study, which used EU bra sizing for consistency. While all of the measurements used measuring tape, some also employed âvisual examinationâ and 3D scanning.
Interestingly, the study actually listed averages for Caucasian United States Americans and non-Caucasian United States Americans, finding that Caucasian United States Americans had the highest breast volume of all, with a volume of 1,668ml and a cup size higher than an D, in US sizing.
Non-Caucasian Americans were still found to be quite busty, with an average volume of 1,089ml and a C cup in US sizing.
Again, these measurements exclude women with breast implants, meaning the difference in size is due to natural factors, like hormones in meat (though the study didnât examine contributing factors).
The researchers did find, however, that obesity played little part in the relative size of breasts; the average breast volume was found to be large regardless of body weight, with even athletic and slim women being large-breasted.
Canadian women followed Caucasian United States Americans; and the average of all Americans; with an average cup size of C.
Ireland came in third, Poland in fourth, and the United Kingdom in fifth, with an average B cup in US sizing) and volume of 879ml.
While there are certainly some outliers, most countriesâ average breast size seems to correspond with the region of the world theyâre in.
The biggest breasts are mostly in North America (though Mexicoâs average cup size is an AA and Europe, with The Netherlands and Iceland also placing in the top ten.
Most African countries fall into the bottom half of the graph, while Asian countries; particularly those in Southeast Asia; tend to be home to women with the smallest breasts.
On average, the smallest breasts in the world were measured in the Philippines, followed by Malaysia, Bangladesh, Samoa, and the Soloman Islands.
In addition to ranking countries, the researchers also found that most women are wearing the wrong bra size; with more women believing their cup size to be larger than it is.
The 8 Most Common Nipple Types and What You Need to Know About ThemNipples come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors.
BY HANNAH ORENSTEIN 2022
You probably know that breasts come in all different shapes and sizes, but did you know the same goes for nipples? Actually, there are eight different kinds of nipples, says Dr. Tsippora Shainhouse, a board-certified dermatologist and pediatrician. All nipples are normal, and in fact, itâs possible to have a combination of two or more types (like protruding and bumpy, or flat and hairy). Itâs also possible that your nipples donât exactly fit into any of these categories; and thatâs totally normal, too.
Before we break down the different types of nipples, itâs helpful to familiarize yourself with the anatomy of the breast and some definitions you may not know. You most likely have heard the terms nipple and areola before, but thereâs a chance you might now know exactly what they mean. The nipple is a small projection located at the center of your breast, while the areola is the pigmented circular area surrounding the nipple, according to the Cleveland Clinic. This area looks different from person to person.
Now that you know a little bit more about the nipple, itâs time to get into the specifics. Below, we break down everything you need to know about the eight different types of nipples in the world.
Protruding Nipples:
Protruding nipples are those that are raised a few millimeters above the surface of the areola and point outwards. When cold or stimulated, the nipple can harden and become more pronounced. Women with significantly protruding nipples tend to draw attention, whether they want the attention or not. A contemporary fad is for women to have their nipples pierced with a post affixed from one side to the other, which further enhances the nipple, and showed even through multiple layers of clothing. Protruding nipples are associated with a state of sexual arousal, and many women will maximize the appearance, to signal their sexuality, to others.
Other women may feel shame for having protruding nipples, fearing others may inaccurately associate this natural variation with lustful preoccupations.
Flat Nipples:
The entire nipple is flat and tends to remain level with the areola. Like a protruding nipple, a flat nipple may harden and become more pronounced when cold or stimulated. But sometimes a woman with flat nipples may not have any protrusion, even during a climax.
Puffy Nipples:
The entire areola and nipple area looks like a small, raised mound on top of the breast. The nipple can harden and become more pronounced when cold or stimulated.
An inverted nipple retracts inwards. Sometimes, you can use your fingers to bring it out, but sometimes, the muscles are too tight.
Inverted Nipples:
A further variation of this is the Unilateral inverted nipple. One nipple is raised, while the other is inverted. If youâve always had unilateral inverted nipples, thatâs perfectly normal. However, if this is a new development (as in, your nipples used to both be the same and now one is inverted and the other is raised), it might be a sign of breast cancer, infection, or injury, according to the Cleveland Clinic, so schedule an appointment to see your doctor.
Bumpy Nipples:
Itâs common to have bumps on the areola surrounding the nipple. These bumps are called Montgomery glands and can sometimes look like whiteheads. You might be able to squeeze dead skin cells out of them, but donât play with them. Every person with breasts has the glands, but some people are bumpier than others. The aeriola has several milk ducts, and these openings often result in a textured skin.
Hairy Nipples:
Stray, dark hairs, growing out of the areola area, are normal. Everyone has hair follicles, but some people are hairier than others. They might be fine or coarse. Itâs safe to pluck them out with a tweezer. Just be careful; the skin is super sensitive down there.
Supernumerary Nipples:
Some people have extra, smaller nipples, but theyâre typically harmless and not very noticeable. They tend to either look like flat moles, or like a fully-formed, raised bump. Some may have them removed by a medical professional.
by HANNAH ORENSTEIN Seventeen US
A discussion of peopleâs nipple & breast preferences.By Nondescript In CTIâll first disclose that Iâm a middle-age man. It appears to me that, as expected, overall size of a breast is a factor to a womanâs appeal. There is definitely a sizeable and candid âbigger is betterâ contingent out there. What I have found interesting is that there is an equally represented âsmaller, firmerâ faction. What I have also found interesting is who, in general; tends to be in which group.
Grande RackYounger, testosterone-driven males tend to express more preferences for the bigger breasts. Although there does tend to be an upper limit for most; âroughly larger than a volleyballâ, they do not appear to differentiate further; natural or implants, nipple length or circumference, even color of nipples and breasts donât appear to factor in much. This is the âGreat Rack!â crowd that loves the restaurant âHooters;â and keeps girly Magazines in business. Donât misinterpret; I do not criticize or belittle this group. I have merely noted certain other common interests members of this group tend to have; in general.
Women with large breasts tend to have one of two general viewpoints. One viewpoint is the âeye contactâ group. These women are frustrated at the attention their breasts draw; guys donât make eye contact but just stare openly at their chest. They tend to have almost a combination of shame and anger at their situation. These women pretty much stay away from a breast or nipple-associated forum; they donât like theirs so they certainly donât want to see or talk about others. I know one large-chested woman in her 50s who has spent so much of her life trying to de-emphasize her breasts, she almost always walks with her arms folded across her chest and never wears anything that would reveal even a hint of cleavage.
The other viewpoint of women with large breasts is what I call the âOh, yeah!â group. These women love the fact that they have large breasts. They like the attention they get because of them and will do things to emphasize them. They are also not above using theirâŠassets to their advantage; everything from getting out of speeding tickets, to making a sale or getting a promotion can be accomplished, at least in part, by using their breasts against men susceptible to their power and influence. I have not had much intimate relations with large-chested women, but I have had some candid discussions with some. What I found most interesting about the sexual side of large breasts is that it is not necessarily a male power/control âthingâ when a guy âtitty-fucksâ a woman. That was always my assumption, but more than one woman has informed me that they like it also. They can get a sense of power and control over the man by doing this; âI can get you off with just my breasts.â
Girl Next DoorWho would you guess to be in the âsmaller, firmerâ coalition? It is my observation that women of all ages and older, more mature men tend to express preference for breasts in this overly-simplistic category. The women expressing interests in breasts appear to view the entire shape and symmetry of the breast and nipple together. They donât tend to focus on the extremes; very long nipples, huge breasts, etcetera. Breasts that are firm, capped with an erect, well-defined nipple and those that have a bit of a natural âteardropâ droop with a modest but well-defined nipple appear to be favorites. The interests of older men in smaller breasts can be best summarized by the âmouthfulâ paradigm; more than a mouthful is unnecessary. Oh, donât be fooled; those guys have no problems with large breasts per se, but they are old enough and wise enough to know that breasts are a source of pleasure for a woman, more so than they are for a man. I must admit that I am a member of this group. We love everything about breasts, but we are most interested in using them to pleasure our partners, and the smaller breasts are more, manageable. There is also a subtle, rarely discussed concern on our part that if we spend a lot of time on foreplay with breasts on a large-chested woman, she may think we are actually in the more superficial âbigger is betterâ contingent. If they are average-sized, or smaller breasts, our attention on them rarely gets misinterpreted.
Unlike the âbigger is betterâ group, there are well-defined sub-groups in the âsmaller, firmerâ group. The most well-known would be the âitty bitty titty committee.â The ranks of this group tend to be filled by women with very small breasts and men who love a long, hard nipple more than the surrounding breast. I love this group for two reasons. First, I find women who are comfortable and proud of their breasts regardless of size and shape to be very comfortable and open about their sexuality. That is always a huge turn-on. The other reason is that I am one of those men who cares more about the nipple than the breast as a whole. I find it much more erotic to have a long, hard nipple in my mouth or fingers while a woman expresses her enjoyment of associated feelings and sensations, than to have really large breasts that have wide, semi-flaccid nipples that donât have the same effect on the woman under similar ministrations.
School GirlsThere is also the âschool-girlâ sub-group. Women with a youthful appearance and small, firm breasts are the preference for this group. I call it the âschool-girlâ group because the women of interest to this group tend to be young; breasts that may still be developing and are therefore small and firm. To me, this may be the most controversial and divisive group there is. There is almost a stigma associated with being in the âschool-girlâ group. If an older male expresses an interest or approval of a young woman with small, firm breasts, that opinion is derided with the offending party being labeled a âdirty old man.â Terms like âjailbaitâ and âhelp her with her homeworkâ are slung to belittle and demean the choice, even in a friendly, âall-opinions welcomeâ forum such as the Nipples forum I introduced at the beginning.
I would also place Asian women as a subject of interest to this group. They tend to have a very youthful appearance and smaller, firmer breasts than their Caucasian counterparts. What I find interesting is that those expressing a preference for âAsian womenâ also tend to be drawn to Caucasian women who skew younger, smaller and firmer, but they wonât necessarily admit to this due to the âstigma.â I would challenge all of them to review a stack of 100 black and white photos, full frontal (face obscured) and side view (without showing face, butt or legs), of Asian women and Caucasian women with dark pink or brown nipples. I seriously doubt they would find any of the Caucasian women any less attractive or desirable than the Asians. Donât get me wrong; my point has nothing to do with race. I love women of all races equally. My point is that I feel the Asian âloversâ that ridicule those that prefer young, small and firm Caucasians are simply being hypocritical.
Finally, there is the wrath of the more mature woman (say 35+) to a man expressing appreciation of a young, small and firm woman. Again, they donât appear to be as vocal about a man expressing a liking for Asian women, just when they express similar thoughts and opinions about a Caucasian woman. It is as if they consider the Asian preference a perfectly healthy and acceptable fetish, whereas a preference for Caucasian women with similar physical characteristics is seemingly akin to pedophilia.
My overall preference is for mature women; I find their intellect and comfort with their sexuality to be very attractive and erotic. However, some young women can convey that same self-confidence and desire borne of self-awareness, and these women I find equally attractive. If they happen to be an 18 year old, small and firm Caucasian, so be it. However, if a woman with those characteristics happens to be an attractive 50 year old African-American grandma with very large breasts, I would probably gravitate to her more than to the 18 year old. But I can still find the 18 year old to be attractive without being a âdirty old man.â
It is sad that there are social issues concerning nipples and breasts. It is not fair that a woman with large breasts may feel compelled to hide them, but it happens. Men should not be made to feel guilty at finding a young, nubile woman to be attractive, but in todayâs climate of sex crimes, that also is a fact of life. As stated previously, nipples and breasts are good and an endless variety is truly a gift for us all to enjoy.
After all, even the holy clerics of multiple world religions agree with the text of scripture which says;
âEnjoy the wife of thy youth, and let her breasts satisfy you at all times.â
Letâs finish with an essay from a buxom college coed.
My BoobsA 22-year-old reflects on growing up with a big chest.
By zipado 321
Right now, Iâm a 22 year old girl with a 38D-cup chest. Itâs official: Iâm a college gal with big boobs. I recently had a late-night chat with a friend who is pretty flat chested, and I walked away with a new appreciation for my breastsâ and I realized the impact they have had on my life. She made me realize that being busty had encouraged my sexual side to come out at times when for her as a petite girl she had more of an option to think things out.
It all started when my breasts started to appear early, a good six months before anyone else in my class of 200 even could think about boobs. Iâll admit it was a weird experience for me. I didnât have any friends in a similar situation, I didnât have an older sibling, and I wasnât close with Mom like I am now. So I decided to hide my ever-growing chest. Maybe, I hoped, I wouldnât have big boobs like she did. I was able to dance around the issue by wearing sweaters and other baggy clothes, but Mom finally caught on and by the spring I was in my first training bra. I felt so incredibly embarrassed and for a little while I stupidly blamed my Mom somehow. By the end of the year the word was out in school: I was the first girl in the grade with boobs. It definitely effected me because I stuck out like a sore thumbânever a good thing in middle school. The other, more popular girls resented it, and the boys didnât know how to react to it. I started to keep more and more to myself as my chest grew, and by the end of middle school I was one frustrated and fed up girl.
That all would change in high school and I knew it. I walked in the first day as a freshman girl wearing a 36D cup bra and a tight white t-shirt. That definitely stuck out, but I quickly learned it made me stick out differently than in middle school. My chest was a good thing now. It got me attention and it made me finally feel appreciative about my breasts. Kids in the older grades noticed me and I quickly fell into an older crowd. I just loved the attention from the juniors and seniors, but with it came the pressures of the older high school kids, namely drinking and sexual stuff. I had personally ruled out having sex just to be popular, but I figured less than that was just having fun.
As the other girls in my grade were going out on first dates, I was in the basement of a party with a drunken seniorâs hand on my breast. As other girls were enjoying Christmas break by having their first kiss, I was nervously being pressured into jerking a guy offâI just had to, I was told, because my tits had turned him on so much and he needed a release. As other girls were being felt up for the first time, I was pressured more and more often into giving blow jobs to a particular guy I liked. I had told him I wouldnât swallow (it really scared me then, but looking back Iâm not sure why). When he complained a lot and implied I was getting to be no fun, I ended up telling him that I still wouldnât swallow, but he could cum on my naked breasts. He eagerly accepted and I felt happy that once again my big boobs had saved the day.
What was weird about all of that was figuring out what I meant to people. I knew I really enjoyed the power and pleasure of being sexual. Each time I was there on my sore knees, my eyes closed tightly, reaching for a tissue to wipe some guyâs cum off my cheek, neck, and breasts, I felt that I was the real winner there. I was getting attention and appreciation for being the person that I was, I thought. But I also knew deep down that in one way nothing had changed. I was once the middle school girl with âthe big boobies.â Now I was the high school girl with âthe big tits and nice mouth.â Girls my age still resented me, and guys my age and older still couldnât figure me out, even if they did enjoy using me. I was getting tired of being the young and easy chick and decided that guys couldnât get with me so easily. Suddenly I was spending a lot more time alone again. For the rest of high school, and since then, I wonât usually put out unless Iâm in a relationship, and I certainly feel better about myself.
But still I know when a guy says he loves me, even if he means it, my breasts have helped him come my way. Not that I donât love sex, because Iâm still very sexually minded! I guess Iâm just not sure if my big breasts brought me increased sexuality, or if my already high sexuality has fit well with my big breasts. I really really love being sexual and even though my breasts have given me a different road to take. Each and every time I feel a hand on one of my breasts I feel a rush of gratitude and shame at the same time. I love the feeling but I wonder if Iâm still that teenager appreciating being humiliated by an older guy as he cums all over me.
Iâve known since puberty hit that having a big chest makes me different, and if I have the proper outlook, they can make me special.
I hope youâve enjoyed reading this as much as Iâve enjoyed writing it. zipado 321
By CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321, for Literotica, Seventeen, & DailyMail
from How-To Sex Podcast
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
A few things that gross me out about porno myths
By LargoKitt. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
What I HATE About PornRight up front let me make it clear that I watch erotica, read erotica, and write erotica. Please scope out my stories or poems or even my art and I think you will be pleased. Porn is very ancient stuff. Prehistoric people were making images designed to turn them on, and I'm sure they were sitting around the campfire and telling spicy stories. Motivating people to do the deed and plant the seed has been a major push for millennia. Hindus and Greeks and lots of other folks have gods who celebrate procreation. Heck, the Bible contains the steamy Song of Solomon. And in Genesis, God never said, "Don't fuck." He said, "Be fruitful and multiply."
Donât Make Me Feel ShittyPoint 1: BDSM. I don't think sex is dirty and I really don't much like stories or vids or auds that portray people who feel like shit for feeling horny. Guys should not have to apologize for hard-ons they get in an honest scenario. Horny is built into the machinery. But hang on, I understand that if you were brought up in a strict religious household where touching yourself or anyone else without a legal contract will cause Old Scratch himself to snatch you by the short hairs and drag you to Hell where he'll fry you till you're a crispy critter; if that's the crap that's in the back of your head when you spot a hottie and the spirit rises; well then I can see how being bad and feeling good might end up in the back of the same pickup truck.
Since religious figures, priests and preachers and missionaries and nuns, are placed artificially off-limits, I can see how getting under that dark robe might be a turn on. But a story about raping a priest or a nun who used to humiliate you in school. That's not erotica. That's a revenge horror story and I hate it being considered a turn-on. And stories about religious folks exploiting or hurting kids is never sexy. It's criminal.
I personally despise stories that feature people despising each other, especially in the bedroom. I might write a story about people playing at humiliating one another. I can imagine people, maybe a woman CEO who is always in charge and demanding of respect, enjoying a fantasy where someone calls her a 'stupid worthless slutty cock-sucking bitch'. Same with a male CEO who likes to be ridden and whipped like a stubborn mule. I can imagine those characters getting relief from constant responsibility. I can see how the sting of a little pain might lift their spirits.
But I switch off when the sex is about the pain. Oh I get how a spanking or being bound and restrained might raise the stakes of sensation. But then the pain is about the sex. And the sex plus pain is for the pleasure of the person being bound or 'punished' not for some nut who gets his or her nut by hurting other people. I understand if your kink swells when you have someone in your power. But for me sex is always a dance with equal partners even if you're playing that it's not.
So. Stories teach. And I HATE stories or videos that teach men that it's okay to treat women like shit. Also stories that teach women that the only way they can tell a man what she wants is to be a cruel slutty dom. Or little girls who need permission from 'daddy.' Or independent women just waiting to be enslaved by a cruel master who "knows just what they want."
Bottom line: whatever your kink, sex should be fun for all members of the party and their members, and fun shouldn't make you feel weird and guilty.
Girls Just Wanna Have FunPoint 2 -- Girls just wanna have fun. I HATE porn that is all about the man getting his nut with no concern for the woman getting hers. What's up with that? Are most pornos secretly for men who are into men? Why in Baal's name do we always spend so much time looking at dude's dicks? And balls? And assholes?
Maybe a viewer who isn't built like superman likes to pretend he is the buff cut flexing shiny well-waxed, spray-tanned hunk who is drilling a hottie who is lying about what a turn-on he is. But how about, for once, having a Don Juan or Lothario who is actually a role model for how to light a lady's fire? Because if you have the basic equipment, but really know what to do with it your reputation as a cocksmith may grow, and most often it won't be about your cock.
The guy may be necessary in the video to show what turns her on. But then I want to spend lots of time seeing her get with it. I don't want a guys ass between me and the beautiful stuff any more than it has to. And for pity's sake, porn makers and porn writers, show us what is happening with her, how this lick or that deep plunge is beginning to light her up. Some of you dudes may be all about pretending you are this super-stud and this total hottie just wants to be drilled by you until your jackhammer has busted the pavement. But really, that's not as much fun as taking the time to wind her up and truly get her truly excited.
Hard truth: Jamming your dick is the LAST turn-on a woman usually wants to feel to get her off. Everything else you do: flirting with her, complimenting her, giving her a gift, feeding her, kissing her, gently touching her, rubbing her, fingering and licking, ALL are bigger turn-ons than your dick. She may want your dick, because it feels good, fills her up in a way she likes, connects in a powerful way, shows you want her and only her so damn bad, and are eager to feed her your seed. But her orgasm usually comes from the other strokes.
And for lesbian couples this literally goes double. Two loving gals are not usually eager to pretend to be hard dick-jamming men.
Lesbian PornPoint 3 - "Lesbian" videos (or stories) are not made for women, even though most women now and again fantasize about having it on with another woman. But how often does anyone actually ask the women to write the script about how two women come to get it on? Note how many writers who identify as lesbians or bi, put at the top of the story, something like, "If you just want to get right to the sex you may be disappointed, because this story has a slow build. That is because, gentlemen, that the lead up in a lesbian story is the lust. So how about more videos in which the women take their time playing with each other? Not hours of loud smacky fake kisses and tongue tangling. No. Real attention to all the erogenous zones: the neck, the ears, lots of exploring tender skin, the talking. Seeing each face come alive. And always, take your time. After all; what's your hurry?
Butt?Point 4: But, but, butt. Maybe there was a time when the idea and the illustration of a man having penetrative intercourse with another person's anus was a strange and exotic turn-on. Now you have to plow through the butt shots to get to any other kind of sexual activity. Enough already. Or put the butt play into a special search for those you don't lift off except when imagining back door action. Otherwise, go easy. And that means planning your camera angles so we aren't looking at someone's shitter when hot romantic sex is supposed to be happening.
Roughly Sensual?Point 5 - Rougher and tougher is not hotter. Oh, sure, sometimes jamming, and slappling and hurling her (him) around is at the peak of turn-on. Sometimes the opposite is true. The smooth strokes can really reach her. Gentle that breast. Please that little spot on the side of her neck. Sweetly tickle that clit hood. Do spend lots of time on the breasts and nipples. Stroke and kiss and suck them a dozen ways and do it again. Let us see her face and hear her voice as this happens. Talk to her. It doesn't matter if the vid is shot in Slovenian.
All the senses say somethingPoint 6 - And speaking of voice, let us hear how she is feeling. I don't mean clichés like "Oh baby, you're so big." I mean those personal sounds that tell you she is beginning to feel it. Let us hear her breath slowly get more raw and excited. Encourage her to say what she needs. That last point is important, and very sexy. Not just, "Oh yeah, right there, right there," but, "Grab my tit hard please." "Squeeze my ass." "Kiss me...I need you to kiss me." And let us hear him as his excitement builds and he begins to groan and roar. For lesbian sex it would be good to really hear the couple work out what feels good. "That's good; roll a little to your left. Yeah, move up that way." "Keep rocking. Oh please don't stop rocking." "Just lick inside right there with the tip of your tongue." "Shut up and fuck me hard."
Sprayed vs filled?Point 7 - The money shot. Time was, you had to know this was real sex, so the dude had to spill the cream at the end. Now I think that's old hat. The real money shot is seeing her get off for real. Now we know that for most women PIV sex is not the true lift off. It may be great, but it is the satisfier that says your man is happy and has really connected. Your orgasm(s) can come any time along the way and are proof that your lover is really paying attention to your needs. And here's a simple dirty secret: most guys watching and probably a lot of women are going to get off when they see her cum more than when they see him cum. And for me nothing is sexier than both partners getting off while they are deeply connected. No need to 'open out' awkwardly so we see all the messy bits. For the last lap let them find each others' rhythm and go for it.
Stay UnselfishCoda - Make videos with people who know and respect each other. Even if the love play is rough and tumble, have your "actors" know and care about each other and show they care about each others' bodies. Give them time to get to know each other before they shoot the scene. And we have all seen "the four ways to fuck"-- now missionary, now doggie, now her on top, now on her side with him behind, pull out and jizz in her mouth. Yawn. Let them work out what gets them excited.
My Golden Rules: NEVER feature sex with children. NEVER feature enslaved, exploited, addicted, or drugged participants. NEVER treat women like they are second class citizens. NEVER have the talk or action be racist. NEVER show rough sex without the absolute consent of all participants. NEVER confuse torture for stimulation. NEVER exploit young or broke people to make a porno. There are plenty of adults willing to make sex videos for fun and/or profit.
And if you like erotic stories, videos, audios, pix then use the ones that respect people and avoid the ones that don't.
If the maker breaks those golden rules, don't watch or pay for that shit.
I KNOW I am bumping up against some people's favorite kinks, or even the whole reason they seek out porn. That's them. Maybe that's you. Okay, but the stuff I list above is what ruins it for me. I have a simple stance. Sex is good. Sex is fun. People do best when they don't feel angry, or ashamed, or guilty while doing it. You can play football to maim the other player or humiliate them. For me that ruins the game. Our bodies have wonderful built-in toys. Enjoy them.
The 11 Best Sexual Positions for Satisfying SexTons of sexual positions can bring mutual satisfaction, but do you know which ones both you and your partner can enjoy? Check out these 11 you might want to try the next time you get frisky.
By Ashley Welch
Switch up your sexual routine so you and your partner can rekindle your connection.
There are hundreds of hot sex positions for couples that bring partnersâ bodies together for mutual pleasure. Knowing a variety of sex positions can help you be a better and more inventive lover for your partner.
What Are the Best Ways to Have Mutually Satisfying Sex?
That answer is different for every couple. "I would define the best position as the position that works best for the individual or individuals involved,â says Tameca Harris-Jackson, PhD, a certified sex educator, a sex therapist.
"Trying different sex positions actually offers an opportunity to bring different ways of experiencing pleasure into sexual intimacy and a sexual relationship,â Dr. Harris-Jackson says. âYou can eat the same meal every day for 20 years, but it doesnât mean youâre going to get the most joy out of it. Youâre just getting the nutrients. But if you try to add a little bit of parsley to that meal, you might taste it in a different way, and it might become a more exciting meal. And thatâs what having new positions in a relationship can do.â
There are nonphysical factors to consider, too. Take intimacy, for example. For many people, especially women, intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences because partners are comfortable and trusting enough to ask for what they desire and to try new things.
Many couples are figuring out exactly those benefits, according to research funded by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.
An online survey of 1,559 adults showed that while people had less frequent sex during the first weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, they were more willing to try new things, which included sexting, sharing sexual fantasies, and experimenting with new sex positions.
Try New Sexual Positions to Spice Things Up
Stressful periods of time can make it difficult to get aroused and stay aroused, says study coauthor Justin L. Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey. âTrying something new can amp up your arousal,â he says. âTrying new things is about self-discovery â what works for your body, your relationship â and thatâs going to have lifelong benefits.â
You donât have to be a gymnast to make these moves pay off. Donât think âcrazy sex positions,â rather ânew sex positionsâ to create more heat between the sheets.
âNot every position is for everyone, and thatâs okay,â says Dr. Lehmiller. âBut even if the positions described here donât work for you (maybe youâve already tried them), that doesnât mean you shouldnât try new and different things. Novelty is one of the things that keeps us interested in coming back for more. When sex is the same every time, we tend to lose interest. New positions are a handy way of adding an element of novelty and newness to our sex lives.â
1: The Missionary Position or Face-to-Face
Potential Benefits or Caveats Intimate but not necessarily mutually satisfying.
Details It's a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and knees bent slightly. The man lies between his womanâs legs and guides his penis or sex toy into his loverâs vagina or anus, supporting her body weight with his arms or elbows.
The problem with the missionary position is that itâs not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The pelvis of the partner on top can sometimes stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (felt through a location on the front wall of the vagina and believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn't provide enough clitoral stimulation to experience climax.
In a study published in August 2020 in Sexual Medicine, researchers in the Czech Republic surveyed 1,100 heterosexual people about 13 sex positions and revealed that most people still choose the missionary position even though it does not correlate with orgasm for women.
Try Female-Friendly Intercourse Positions
If the most common sex position is not offering women consistent orgasms, then one important thing to do to is âclose the orgasm gap,â says Lehmiller, and try a new sex position. In other words, don't limit yourself to the missionary position.
"In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a certified sexuality educator and professor emerita at Rutgers University in New Jersey.
If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and enjoy better sex, try some of these female-friendly positions. Many afford partners the chance for clitoral stimulation, which is what 35.4 percent of women said they need to reach orgasm.
2: Cowgirl
Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep penetration and sensations vary; clitoral stimulation.
Details In this position, the man lies on his back while the partner being penetrated faces them and kneels, straddling his pelvis. She can then sit up or lie down on her man.
"This is a great position for a woman to control the depth of penetration," Harris-Jackson says. âItâs also a good position to get multiple forms of stimulation. With the womanâs body upright, the nipples can be engaged, which can lead to extra arousal. It is good for having access to the clitoris for stimulation.â
The riding partner can choose whether to bounce up and down, grind, or make hip circles â each delivering a slightly different sensation. âThis is also a good position for a person with a penis if they have back issues because itâs almost a resting position for them,â she says.
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3: Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Rider on Top
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Buttocks play, visual stimulations, opportunities for variations; may cause pain.
Details The man lies on his back while the woman sits astride him, facing his feet, and slips his penis into her vagina or anus. The woman can control the rhythm and pace of the thrusts. This position can be especially exciting for the man, who gets to observe the back and buttocks of his lover. Squeezing or grabbing the buttocks can enhance the experience for both. This position can be tricky to master since it requires the woman to lean back or sit up very straight to accommodate the angle of the penis. âIf youâre leaning forward, it can be painful and uncomfortable for the man because it could almost feel like his penis is breaking,â says Harris-Jackson, who recommends having the man bend his knees while the woman holds her hands against her loverâs thighs or waist.
Switch It Up âThis may be one of those positions that is better in theory than in practice,â says Lorrae Jo Bradbury, a sex and love coach and the founder of SluttyGirlProblems.com and LorraeJo.com. âYou might want to use it as a foreplay position, grinding on his penis before you begin intercourse.â
4: Doggy Style or Rear Entry
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration and G-spot stimulation but the position can feel impersonal.
Details In this position, the woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with her hands and knees. The man crouches and enters from behind. This is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust hard and fast, and allows easy access to caress much of the womanâs body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation.
Switch It Up Some people complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there's no face-to-face contact. âIf you want closer eye contact with this position,â says Bradbury, move your knees closer to your chest and arch your back so your partner can lean into you near your face and you can make eye contact. Bradbury says you can also try this position in front of a mirror so you can see one anotherâs faces.
A variation of this can be done standing; using a high bed, dining table, or even the kitchen counter; when a woman lays her chest or forearms upon the solid surface. Many women report laying in wait at the kitchen, when their man comes home. Her sticky panties are dropped to her knees. With his coat still on, she simply orders him; âFuck Me Now! I canât wait another minute!â He follows her instructions and sates her lusts. After his spunk fills her wanton cunt, she turns to face him, holds his spent cock, and says; âThis rod needs to be ready for round two, after dinner, in the bedroom.
5: The Corkscrew
Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Intense, deep penetration.
Details Leaning forward, the woman lies on the edge of the bed facing inward, resting on her hip and forearm while her partner enters her from behind. The woman can keep her thighs together for a tighter hold on the penis or penetrating toy. But if the woman opens her legs, the clitoris is exposed for stroking while the man thrusts from behind. âYouâre getting that deeper penetration like doggy style, but this may be an easier and more comfortable position,â says Bradbury.
Switch It Up Your partner can easily lean down to make out with you, and the clitoris is within easy reach, according to Bradbury.
6: Side by Side or Sideways
Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep eye contact and intimacy.
Details Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can enter her. This position is great for morning sex when you might be a little sleepy, says Bradbury.
It offers intimacy because you are close to each otherâs face. The partners can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, doesn't require a lot of stamina from either person, and offers an opportunity for good clitoral stimulation.
Switch It Up Penetration can be improved if the woman drapes both legs over her manâs waist, Bradbury says. This allows great access to the clitoris, which can be stimulated with a finger or with a toy. âI think this is a great position for everyone,â she says. âIt offers the comfort of cuddling, too.â
7: Flat Iron or Lazy Dog
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Tightness on penetration, intense stimulation.
Details The woman lies on her stomach with her legs straight and hips slightly raised. (You can place a pillow under your hips.) The man enters from behind. When lying face down, the womanâs legs will be closer together, which creates a snugger fit for her manâs penis or sex toy. This can lead to a new, more intense sensation. âThis is a really good way to increase the experience of tightness for the man,â Harris-Jackson says. âItâs also good for clitoral stimulation because the partner can reach around with his hand or a sex toy to provide dual stimulation. And itâs a good position for G-spot stimulation because youâre angling the body so that the penis is in perfect alignment to stroke against the G-spot.â
8: Face-Off
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats With intense eye contact and clitoral stimulation, this can be an enhanced missionary position.
Details In this position, the man sits on the edge of a bed or in a comfortable seated position while the woman climbs on his lap face-to-face. The woman wraps her legs around his waist and can control the pace of thrusting. This position also allows for direct clitoral stimulation and eye contact, which can increase intimacy.
Bonus Your hands are free so you can touch and caress your loverâs body nearly anywhere you would like. âThis is a really impactful position for people who are aroused with eye contact,â says Harris-Jackson. âItâs like missionary, but you are really face-to-face. It also takes some of the work off the woman because the man can move her up and down by placing his hands on her hips.â
Switch It Up The lotus position is very similar to face-off, only the man sits crossed-legged on the bed or chair.
9: Pretzel Dip
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration with potential for G-spot stimulation.
Details The woman lies on her right side as the man straddles his loverâs right leg. The man then pulls his womanâs left leg up and around his left side and enters her vagina or anus. This position allows deep penetration while also allowing the intimacy of maintaining eye contact.
Switch it Up âYou can also take your left leg and pull it toward your chest to get a deeper angle,â says Bradbury. âAnd you have amazing access to the clitoris for both partners.â Your hands will be free, which can allow you to run them all over each otherâs body. Adds Harris-Jackson: âThis position â depending on your angle â can also offer G-spot stimulation, as well.â
10: Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Clitoral stimulation.
Details If you want to rock rather than thrust, roll with CAT. This position is similar to missionary; the main difference is that the man pushes the base of his penis so that it lines up with her clitoris and the two make contact. Once they do, the couple rock back and forth and maintain constant contact. âItâs a little bit of a different way of having sex,â says Lehmiller. âYou rock back and forth rather than thrusting. Doing so prolongs the length of intercourse for the man and increases the odds of a woman having an orgasm because sheâs having that constant stimulation.â
11: Sixty-Nine (or 69)
Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Mutual oral stimulation.
Details This position involves both lovers performing and receiving oral sex at the same time. Typically, one partner lies on their back while the other climbs on top of them and turns around, straddling them with their genitals above their loverâs face. The person on top then leans forward and begins performing oral sex on their lover while simultaneously receiving. This position can require some coordination and balance, particularly for the partner on top. One way to make 69 a bit more comfortable for both lovers is to lie on their sides during the act.
Keep Switching It Up: Sexual Variety Is Exciting
In our day-to-day lives, we tend to be very goal-oriented, says Harris-Jackson. âWe wake up in the morning and itâs go, go, go to get out the door. We go, go, go to eat our food, to go to work. It creates a lot of stress and tension in our bodies and in our minds. Many patients that I see feel that sex becomes one more thing that they have to go, go, go and do. But sexual partners should be really with one another and feel pleasure together. Switching up positions can be very helpful to rekindle that connection. So it can be helpful and fun to try something new.â
By LargoKitt & Ashley Welch for Literotica and EverydayHealth.
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A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.
With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture.
Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule.
Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.
Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date.
One of the easiest ways to âbreak the iceâ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is âcaught off guardâ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. Theyâll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative.
Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a âgoing withâ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who theyâre âgoing withâ even though they never went anywhere.
If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, Itâs time to ask; âCan I take you out on a date?â
If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesnât need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts.The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she wonât talk about the places she went to, sheâll talk about the guy who took her there.
When youâre first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say âgood night.â
Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you.
Take some time to assess if you want a 2nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether itâs her you like, or dating, itself.Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If youâre still looking for the âright one,â your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue?
Letâs hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.
How to find someone to date:To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well.
Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie.
Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.
How-to guide for kissing:Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began.
If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might get your braces locked together also. You won't even be able to make it to the hospital unless you get a friend to drive you there. Give kissing some serious thought before proceeding with braces.
Older people are now out in the dating game. If you have false teeth, you might watch your kissing also. Light pressure open-mouth kisses are acceptable. Do not under any circumstances try French or kissing using the tongue. Just picture this: your woman sticks her tongue in your mouth and your dentures come loose. Need I say more?
Another thing about kissing; especially open-mouth and giving tongue type kisses. You might want to consider where your date's mouth has been prior to the date with you. This could be a problem when using a dating service or prostitute.
How to disrobe your date:Let's begin by me undressing my lover. I try to unbutton her blouse but the little button doesn't seem to come through the little slit like it's supposed to. Finally, I get it undone and see her breasts staring me in the face behind her bra. Here is the problem I found out last year.
I reach my hand behind her back while we are kissing, feeling for the clasp on her bra. Where the hell is the damn thing? I'm an ultra male; I don't want to have to ask her. Finally in a nice way, we unlock lips and she says, "The clasp is in the front." Then in a very faint voice I hear the word, "Moron."
I quickly undo the clasp and let these big babies bounce out. I want to pull her bra off but it gets tangled in her blouse. Now I have to pull them off together trying to get them off her shoulders in a loving way like they do on TV.
After getting feedback on the subject, I now know what to do and will pass it on to you. While kissing her when her blouse is still on, rub your finger along her bra line. If it's smooth all the way across then the clasp is in the front and you won't feel so stupid. If you feel it in the middle of her back while rubbing the bra line then, of course, it has a back clasp. You should remove her blouse before un-clasping her bra.
Next, I want to remove her jeans. I have now learned to tell my ladies to remove them before climbing on the bed; saves a lot of hassle, unless you're a specialist in removing a woman's clothing. I made the mistake a few times of trying to gently remove her jeans while she is lying on the bed. Big, big mistake! Women buy jeans at least one size too small! The jeans look great on them, nice and tight, but they are hell to pull off. Believe me; I've tried more than once. If you can get it over her ass, you might have a chance. I never seemed to be that lucky, as I had to climb up and try to pull the jeans under her ass, scooting each side down about an inch at a time.
You want to do this without pulling her panties off at the same time. You might have to pull her panties and jeans down a little and then kind of pull the panties back up and then back to the jeans again. Hopefully, you were lucky enough to get the jeans down to her thighs. If she has big thighs, you might have to keep scooting the jeans one side at a time. Whatever you do, keep complimenting her on her body, even if she has thunder thighs and stretch marks. Don't ask her to spread her legs - it doesn't sound good. If she doesn't do it automatically for you, then scoot up between them and push her legs apart yourself, but not too far - you still have to get her jeans off.
How to get on the bed:Hopefully, by now your date is naked. Somewhere along the line you should have removed your own clothing. You should usually leave your underwear on till you are ready to expose your big Johnson (cock).
Last year I tried to explain getting on the bed while kissing. A totally bad idea!
I wanted us to fall together on the bed gently like they do in the movies. So I held onto her and kind of pulled her toward me so we could fall together onto the bed. Big mistake! I didn't say anything to her while she lost her footing and fell on me as we bumped heads. It kind of killed the mood since now she needed a couple of aspirin for the headache she was quickly getting.
Another time my date and I were kissing when we fell together on the bed. She sent me her dental bill for the loose teeth she received.
I've never gotten that falling together down right. I tried to fall on the bed by myself over a hundred times so I could explain to the readers the best way to do this. Believe me, there isn't any good way to fall on the bed alone, let alone with a partner. Now I just tell my lady friend to climb on the bed and then I climb on top of her. I can't believe how many aspirin I have saved, and no more dental bills. Of course I might add, if she wants to be on top, that's okay too.
How to use foreplay:Women love foreplay. The first thing and also the main thing to remember is to compliment! compliment! compliment! Women love compliments. I don't care if it's her hair, boobs, belly, feet, toes or nose, compliment her on it. You will be glad you did.
Hopefully your woman should now be lying on your bed with only her panties on. You should climb on the bed and have some foreplay before going much further. Women usually like this unless you are as inept as I was till I started practicing on using foreplay.
Let's talk a little about her erogenous zones. Women have many of them. Most men know about her nipples, neck, lips and the whole vaginal area. There are others that I have found lately and would like to pass on to you.
The shoulders: I can't tell you how many women have let me rub their shoulders. Of course you start there and they may let you massage a lot of other places as well. Women also love to have their feet massaged. Rub the little balls under their toes. After being on their feet all day, they will love you for this. If they have nice cute clean feet, you might consider sucking a toe or two. Of course you will need to check their feet out pretty good before sucking any toes. You have to be the judge here.
One of the newest places I have found that turn women on, is the area between their belly button and their mound. I can't tell you what a hot area this is on most women. I have to admit that this area is a turn on for me too, knowing that I am probably minutes away from pay dirt. Try both rubbing and kissing this area. No matter how big your woman is, this area is a turn-on.
Time to start the foreplay: I was kissing my woman over and over again. I was planting my lips against her taking her breath away. Literally! I didn't know she wasn't able to breath and she started kicking and moving under me. I thought I was really getting her turned on. I was 'Jerry, the super kisser.' I found out she wasn't able to breathe through her nose. I guess I really took her breath away. You might want to ask or at least make the kisses short if you see this happening.
I started kissing her neck like they do in the movies. Again, another mistake! I sucked too hard and gave her a hickey. For those of you who don't know what a hickey is I'll explain. It's sucking hard on her neck or other soft places that leave a bruise. Most women don't want hickeys. It's embarrassing especially if other people see the bruises and she has to try to explain it. If she's married, you might be in 'mucho' trouble.
Kissing and playing with her boobs. This was information I passed along last year but it still holds true. The boobs or breasts are a big misunderstood area. Some women loved them played with. None like them mauled - believe me, I found out the hard way.
Remembering one of my first big breasted women, I couldn't wait to get hold of those big babies and I grabbed them. She screamed out, slapped me and went home. The next lady, I tried to just squeeze them hoping to turn her on. Again, a mistake! She told me I felt like a mammogram machine - you know; those machines that squeeze the shit out of a woman's tits. No woman - and I mean NO woman - wants her breasts squashed, regardless of the size of her boobs.
Here is the right way to do it. I learned after the loss of sex from many women. Don't get your hands near those babies until you have laid some light kisses on them, lots of light kisses. Don't bite! Remember that women do not want sucker bites or any kinds of bites or bruising they might have to explain. Sucking of the nipples are a big "Yes". Women like this - maternal instinct or something - but women love sucking, licking and kissing of the nipples. If the nipples get big, you're doing real good.
If you did the sucking and licking right, you may now gently massage the breasts. I usually get yelled at and slapped by this time or my woman goes home with sore boobs. If you succeeded to this point, then rub and gently massage her breasts and softly touch the nipples. Be damn gentle with the nipples here. She hopefully is getting into it by now and will let you start to squeeze those babies. If she's moaning or groaning, that is a good sign. If she's just lying there you might want to find out why. She may be sleeping or worse - dead. If she is dead, call 911 and go home. You will be considered a freak if you go any further. That was a joke, readers. You have to learn to laugh a little.
Here is some more information I passed along last year. I did get some negative feedback from a couple of women who said most men's bodies aren't attractive either. I totally agree with them. A beer belly or hairy back isn't the most exciting thing for a woman to look at. This is one of the reasons that under no conditions should you say anything negative about the body of your date.
If she has stretch marks or a rather large belly don't say anything negative. If you do, your night will be over. Remember most women's bodies do not look like the ones you see on the big screen or the calendar on the wall. If you look anything like me, be glad that you have anybody that moves lying there in front of you. Close your eyes if you have to, but rub and kiss the belly even if it's not attractive.
Let's keep going. Move your hand into her panties. If she has a pad on, you have a problem. Either you have to go further or get up and go home. At this point you might want to pull her panties off and check under the hood so to speak. If you pull her panties off along with the pad or pulled the string and removed the tampon, you have to decide how bad you want it. If she let you go this far, she definitely wants to do it. So what are you going to do? If you don't fuck her now, believe me, you never will!
These kinds of decisions never have to be made on TV shows.
Let's say she's on her period. Put on a condom and jump her bones. This is what I suggest you do. Use the stupid condom and have fun. If you don't have one or don't like wearing them - and I don't like them - just stick it in as long as you know she is disease free. Blood and cum will always wash off. She'll consider you the man for doing her during this period.
No blood? No problem, she probably wears it for leaks. It only happens in real life. Women laugh, women pee, the pad absorbs it. So, if the pad isn't wet, jump her bones. If the pad is wet, wipe her pussy off with a wash cloth - that's something you never see on TV but it does help. Then proceed to eat her out. Believe me; every woman except the really weird ones likes her pussy eaten out. She may not like to give head but she loves receiving it.
Let's talk a little about oral sex. It's a big decision these days. One thing every man ought to know. If you don't plan on eating her pussy then don't expect her to be giving you any head.
We had a big discussion last year over whether a person with false teeth should keep them in or take them out.
If your woman has false teeth and wants to give you a blowjob, let her remove said teeth. You do not need her to accidentally bite your dick. It hurts and might make it unusable for awhile. The warm gums feel great around it. Don't kiss her till she puts her teeth back in her mouth and maybe even use mouthwash.
I asked for opinions on this and here are a few I received.
"If you have false teeth, leave them in your mouth. It is gross for your date to see your teeth in a glass next to the bed."
"Sorry to say but that last part is a crock of shit. If she has false teeth, under no circumstances should you ask her to take them out. You'll think your dick is in a pussy that's just been fist fucked by a 10 ton truck....it'll be so loose that you won't feel anything. Nothing she can do will change it as without teeth the space in the mouth is so great that no cock can fill it and make it feel good for the guy. Furthermore, her jaws will ache so much from trying to suck and not being able to apply proper pressure...the only way she could; would be if the guy had one of those 14 inches, wide as a beer can cock you mentioned earlier."
"Look DG, I have to tell you. If she has false teeth and takes them off, you're in for a big surprise, not good at all. With no teeth it's impossible to suck properly and the vacuum needed to perform fellatio is absent; furthermore, her jaws will ache like crazy. Believe me, if she has false teeth, let her keep them on. There's no more danger of being bitten then if it was her real teeth."
Personally, if I'm eating a moist wet pussy, I take my teeth out so I can gum it and slurp in all the wet juices. The dentures take away from the feeling that I get. So, teeth or no-teeth, that is the question. As they say on Fox news, "You decide."
How to get that, "Oh, what a feeling":
Last year I said, "Most pussies are really not that pretty. I have seen a lot of them and still get turned on by them, regardless of how ugly they might be."
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I decided most all pussies are beautiful. Soft, wet, moist, what's not to love? Now the smell is another story. To me, not every pussy smells the same. If you like fish, it will be a plus for you. I know, in all the stories you read the writers are talking about the heavenly smell. It only smells like that when you are at your horniest. At that point every pussy looks and smells great!
A word or two about bushes. Most ladies trim their bushes some, younger ones mainly to trim up the hair for their bathing suit bottoms. On the TV they always look great. At the pool where I hang out, I always see the hair sticking out the sides of their suits. Looks funny but I can't help looking anyway. Of course I'm a pussy hound and the hair doesn't bother me, especially in a dim light. It seems that a number of ladies shave it all off. It's okay but I think I prefer to see some hair down there.
If you see some gray hair on it, don't worry about it. It means she probably knows how to use it. Experience you know is always good. If you get hair between your teeth, try to just remove it without being seen. She usually can't see you over her belly anyway.
Use of condoms is big these days; lots of diseases to worry about. I was watching a lot of porno movies so that I could give you good 'how to' information here. Most of the porn stars are wearing condoms in their films. It kind of takes away from the film but I guess the actors want to live to fuck another day.
I brought this up because in the porno films, they always remove the condom before coming. They jack themselves off on the partners back or ass. Sometimes they have their woman actress slide down and cum all over her face.
Now, a bit more honesty here. That's why I'm writing this how to, to tell you the truth. I talked to a number of women and none of them got anything out of me pulling my cock out of her pussy and coming on her back. Their answer was, "What the fuck?"
Also, I have yet to find the woman that says, "Pull your dick out of my pussy, I'm about ready to orgasm, but go ahead and cum on my face."
Use the condom, fill it up while in her pussy and then dispose of it. You'll both be glad you did.
Some more information from last year. I'm still not big on anal sex.
Ass fucking: It's not for everybody, including me. I've tried it and it really wasn't that good. My partner said it hurt like hell and there was more than one partner I tried it with. If they don't have an enema or some other way of cleaning it out, it smells. I don't know about you but to me shit stinks. I really don't want it on my dick, even though in some of these stories they seem to like the Hershey highway.
For those of you who like anal sex, that's great. I'm not knocking you or your likes and dislikes. I'm just trying to base my opinions and observations here. The first time I ass fucked, I thought my dick was going to blow up. It didn't fit very well. I used all kinds of lube which helped get it in but it hurt me and it hurt my partner. I just felt my time would have been better spent if I put it in a hot wet pussy. No hard feelings for the anal lovers.
I have found out that while fucking from behind, (doggie style) that a finger or two inserted into the anal passage may be a turn-on. For those who want to try it, make sure your fingers are lubed or you rubbed a lot of her juices there first.
Update from a friend: "If a woman lets a man take her in the ass and then shits all over the floor, it's not her fault. So don't hold her responsible - you asked for it. Clean up the mess yourself."
Underwear, for the man, is always interesting. If you expect to get any, make sure you don't have skid marks in your underwear. That is good advice for both sexes. TV and movie people never have skid marks. No woman is turned on by seeing the nicotine stains in your jockeys. Same goes for the guys not wearing under clothing. Shit stains in your jeans aren't so good either.
For the guys, if you don't have underwear on, pull your own zipper down. If any skin gets caught in the zipper, it hurts like hell and your night will be over before it begins. Your lady friend might be in too big a hurry when pulling down your zipper.
By DG Hear
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What every man wishes you knew
By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You donât see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope âem, hog tie âem and throw âem in the barnâŠwell men ainât cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.
Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men arenât worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you donât want one like THAT⊠Well, ladies, I catch themâŠand if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you arenât going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.
Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, itâs not looks or weight, or height or make up, itâs how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, theyâre attracted to us. Theyâll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? Thatâs the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. Itâs keeping hold of them thatâs tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their moneyâs worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They arenât about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of âPhew, Iâll never have to do THAT again!â Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.
Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men arenât one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, theyâre really somewhat simple, theyâll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. Thatâs really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and theyâll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.
Youâll hear wives lament and whine that heâs cheating on her, but what you donât hear is why he is, and itâs not just some younger body, itâs⊠sheâs interesting and the wife isnât. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and heâs tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, whoâd want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!
Half of that is she berates him, itâs never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, weâd leave, in a second! And do. Weâd never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasnâtâŠYou canât keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you werenât what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you didnât keep your buns firm or your underwear sexy. You bored him into leaving and you berated him for not liking you that way. And you follow it up with insulting him after the fact that heâs shallow, and he has the problems! So were the cupcakes for the bake sale really THAT important? Cause you sure act like they are!
Men want fantasy, they want entertainment, they want the princess we are, they want the fairy sprite, the little girl in us who dreams, they want eternal youth from our INSIDES, but they also want the slut lurking within us all, they want excitement and to fly, and then land safely, they want to be our wings, our angels of destiny and if we deny them that part of us, if we refuse to go with them or let them take us on their flights of fancy, they lose, but so do we, all we are is housekeepers then, neither queen or whore, and not their partner in life either, we become grounded as the world moves on without us. We just exist to make dinner, when we could be going on exotic trips and living a life of dreams. We choose to be dull and boring, and then whine they donât.
Classic sex symbols, from Mae West to Madonna, from Liz Taylor to Brittney Spears, are women men dream of, women of passion and fire, women who are playful and adventurous and have a natural sexuality. Men, dream of a nymphomaniac in their lives, or at least one who can be one at times? They want to be cherished, and adored and worshipped, and they should be! They want to be teased and pleased and played with. They want a playmate, a friend and a confidant. They want a woman who makes them proud, who their friends go WOW, whereâd you find THAT one, you must be a stud huh? To keep HER! Itâs a man thing, itâs pride, its competitiveness, itâs what makes them happyâŠits what makes them manly, ladies, if you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman!
They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement. And we sort of end up handing them Chef Boyardee and saying Whatâs your problem? Well, gosh, dinner from a can, might be some of it, the Dog eats dinner from a can, and we pet the darned dog at least? Or I pet mine, but maybe my dog lives better than your man does too? Consider that. Thatâs sort of sad isnât it, for him.
They want her to be glamorous at times, slinky and sexy. They want her to be natural at times, and able to get ready in less than an hour, they want her in baseball caps and jeans, as they sit and fantasize about how hot she was last night, and watch her looking like a tomboy now. They want her to like their bodies, and revel in them, as males, to act like a greedy sexual creature who canât get enough, at times, as well as listen to their thoughts, and try to make their dreams come true.
They want her to be all the women in the world at once, pure and innocent, devilish and dangerous, squirmy and high spirited, needy and soft, nurturing and comforting, and sexually awake and aware of sensual pleasures. They want the mother in us, the sister, and the slut, they want us to be as multi-dimensional as they are. They want the lady in the living room, the whore in the bedroom, and always have. Be that, and able to carry on a conversation about something other than yourself and your interests, and they will all eat from your hand, with pleasure.
And if we give them that, they really donât care if we make dinner, or vacuum, theyâll do it, theyâll hire a maid, or theyâll take us out to dinner! Trust me on this, ladies, I donât do housework! I do keep my passport handy just in case. It takes so long to go back for it, is why, we may miss the flight! I go places, I do things, I get taken out, and away, and I love that I do, they carry my bags, they open doors, and they buy me things to please me! And they call later! I love men, and it shows, and they love me right back!
They donât want to hear, oooh, yuck, and no way, and youâre kidding, Iâm not doing that! They want her to blush and go really? You want me to do that, for real, and try itâŠthey want us to tell them that things feel good, and why, and how to touch us. They want to please us so we do go out of our minds with pleasure. They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesnât matter! It doesnât! Who cares if lettuce is twenty cents less, like change matters? Now if you could do something sexual with that lettuce theyâd want to know about that. They want to be pleased, surprised, seduced, coveted, treated with awe, and worshipped, thatâs all! They want to be on a pedestal, just like they put us on one! And for that, they will give us everything they have, can find, can earn and look for more if it pleases us. We become their goddess, but only if we make them our godsâŠ
Iâm sexual, veryâŠI like sex, I like a lot of itâs aspects, I enjoy exploring it, and adventuring in it. And there are men, who donât like it as much as I do, that prefer quieter realms and softer ones, there are compatitble types, there are. But they still crave the sex, the affection and the bonding, and they have to have it ladies, it isnât about they physically need, itâs how they express themselves to us, if we would only learn to listen! Itâs their language, itâs primal, itâs instinctive and it holds them totally in itsâ thrall, when we deny them that, they have to go looking, itâs male. They cannot survive without it, and neither can I.
I like a lot of different flavors in life, from the spicy to the sweet, to the hot and ice cold, salt and vinergar to sublimely mild. I like tastes, I like feelings, I like emotional intercourse, which by definition is communication. When we bond together in physical unity we canât hide from each other, we allow each other inside us, and to me, life without that is pretty boring.
Changing our approach is so easy, it really is. When we join that exercise class at the gym, instead of whining about the effort and expecting to be praised, all we have to do is strip down and show them our behinds daily and say, âWhat do you think, is it getting smaller, is it getting tighter?â And they love it, and smile, and go hmmm, some, come over here, let me check closer. Then it becomes, for him, we work out, and then theyâre more than happy to share itâŠtheyâll check our progress with gleeâŠand insist we take more classes, if they get to be part of it like THAT?
If we make dinner, add candles, dress for him, cook in just an apron for heavens sake? Want him to take out the trash more? Stand there naked. Wear a thongâŠand say, Like this? Well, as soon as I take out the trash? If Iâm still in this moodâŠthe trash is gone, girls, never to be mentioned againâŠif he forgets? Wear that same outfitâŠhe will learn fastâŠsee thong, take out garbage, get some, itâs like electricity to men. Theyâll move so fast and while theyâre out there, theyâll put your car away and close the garage door, they do not want more interruptions! As in phew, got her mind on me finallyâŠI got to keep remembering that trash, or yikes sheâs gonna find someone who will! Men learn so much quicker than we do. It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, oh no, he wonât forgetâŠevery day for six years, heâll remember the naked woman saying Iâm gonna take out the trash nowâŠlike his own private pin up girl.
And kids? Oh right those anti-romance creatures, uh, feed them early, put them to bed, theyâve had you all day? Daddyâs turn. Get a sitter, trade with a neighbor down the street, you keep mine tonight, Iâll keep yours tomorrow nightâŠjust give that man, some of what he needs, heâll be happy! He had the kids, he loves them, just once in a while, he wants to play with the grownups too. And it doesnât hurt the kids to be told, Mommy and Daddy are going to play together tonight, itâs our turn. You guys are going to bed early so we can. Give you Dad kiss now, night night.
And if I hear one more woman tell me sheâs tired, in this day of electric appliances and television, hereâs my answerâŠyou will be more tired if you work all day and come home and then take care of the kids and have no one to help. Take a nap, plan it, donât wear your self out dusting once in awhile, schedule your man like he matters! Quit whining, once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in, so what is your excuse? The dishwasher door was so heavy to close youâre tired now? He worked all day, heâs tired too! And all he wants is a cuddle and a squeeze and a big smile to see him and to cop a feel, like thatâs hard to give him? Uh, give it to him ladies, or know, someone else will.
Men need several things, acceptance of their masculinity, pride in their existence, self esteem, love, affection, sensual pleasures, credit for their contributions, titillation and warm welcome, and to be important in their own lives and for that, they will give you everything they can gather to honor you and please you, theyâll lay anything at your feet, if you just treat them with respect and admiration.
Itâs our call girls, it isâŠand itâs ok with me, if you donât want to wake up to it! Cause your husband takes me to Mexico while youâre busy at the PTA meeting, and I like going on trips to exotic destinationsâŠand being treated like Iâm important and wined and dined and catered to. You can do the PTA if you want? Itâs ok with me!
Doubt me? Ask any man.
By almost for Literotica.
from How-To Sex Podcast -
A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.
By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them.Frustration; it's a bitch; it can be good, really good, or very, very bad. The idea is to make the sexual frustration great for her, so that when the time comes, she is so wild for you, the sex is mind blowing for both of you. This can happen every time, if you know what to do, and how to approach her the right way.
There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex.
1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs
2 Planning: Take Your Time
3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild
No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew.
1. KNOW YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS: You HAVE to know what she likes and doesn't like, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. If she is frustrated emotionally, you aren't gonna get anywhere with her. Meet her emotional needs first. If she is not feeling loved, or appreciated, if you have troubles in your relationship, then take the time to fix it. THEN focus on the sexual needs. (Usually bad sex is what creates the core of relationship problems.)
Not every woman is the same, and not every woman will reach orgasm the same way. Some never will because their partner is too impatient, or her EMOTIONAL needs aren't being met. If your too embarrassed, or impatient to ask why she isn't enjoying it, (if she isn't climaxing, she isn't enjoying it) she will be very reluctant to have sex with you. If your wife/partner consistently refuses your advances, makes excuses, rolls her eyes, snorts, laughs, and won't give you any; YOUR most likely the source of the problem. WHY? An emotionally and sexually satisfied woman will not refuse her man sex, at least for long. She will hunger for it, like a cat in heat.
If you can't answer these questions, don't be so quick to call her frigid. When a man really knows what his woman wants, and actually takes the time to give it to her, she will almost NEVER refuse him intimacy. She won't WANT to refuse you. In fact, once you master the three keys, she may be the one begging you for sex.
THE 20 QUESTIONS:
1; What are her sexual fantasies?
2; What gets her in the mood?
3; What turns her off?
4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry?
5; Is she feeling loved by you?
6; Is she feeling desirable to you?
7; How does she like to be touched?
8; How does she hate to be touched?
9; How does she like to touch herself?
10; How does she WISH you would touch her?
11; What makes her feel more relaxed?
12; What makes her feel uncomfortable?
13; What makes her hot for YOU?
14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex?
15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes?
Ask her these questions first:
16; What kind of relationship do we have now?
17; What kind of relationship do you want?
18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month?
19; What can I do for you today to make your day better? Ask every day. At first she may say "nothing" If she does, do something spontaneous anyway, like pick her a flower, fold the laundry, rub her feet, let her pick the movie, brush her hair for her, put the kids to bed for her, run an errand, make breakfast in bed, give her an extra long kiss goodbye, and a wink, dedicate a song to her, clean the kitchen for her, write her a love letter, rub her shoulders, plan a picnic, send flowers to her work, just because, ; there are a million little things a woman would love for you to do for her, non sexual things you can do; pick one and just do it without being asked.
20; Find out her Love Languages (Read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman) Even if SHE doesn't know them, you will be able to recognize them. Make sure your filling her tank with the right gas; (you'll have to read the book)
If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's most likely the main reason you dont have the sex life you want. It's your job to find out. She WANTS you to know the answers to these questions, and probably doesn't know how to bring it up without risking you shutting her down, because women know most men HATE talking about the relationship. I think it's because most men don't know HOW. Men, dare to be different and actually talk about your relationship and how to improve your sex life. Use the questions as a guide.
She might think you've lost your mind because such a thing is so foreign to you, and it's the LAST thing she ever thought you would say. Feel free to print this out and show it to her, I don't mind.
Pick a time when the two of you are not busy, and NOT trying to be romantic. Shock her speechless and tell her your going to dedicate the next (however many days) making the relationship better, not just sexually. Make sure to take this seriously, be open, be honest, and make sure she knows all YOUR answers to these questions too. You'll get a MUCH better sexual response from her once you address her emotional needs.
THE HEART OF A WOMAN (From the book Captivating, by Staci Eldridge)
At our core, women are just more emotional than men. Learn to deal with it. We CAN'T change that, because we are designed that way. For a woman to feel most fulfilled, romantic and loved, she must have three basic emotional desires of her heart met:
1: Every woman wants to be romancedâand not just when your trying to seduce her into bed. We all have a desire to have a great relationship, and we recognize one when we see one. We recognize a bad one too. We KNOW when we are really, truly loved, and when we are not. If your not really in love with her, she knows it, trust me.
2: Every woman wants to have a beauty to unviel. We want to know you find us enticing, attractive, lovely, radiant, sexy. There is a reason little girls like to twirl around in princess dresses and like hearing she is beautiful. Face it, you want to be the prince who comes to beauty's rescue.
3: Every woman wants to know she is irreplaceable to you. Just how every man wants a battle to fight, and a grand adventure to go on, the lady in your life wants to know that she has a place in that adventure, by your side. She wants to know that you need her, (even if you don't think you do.) FYI, you need her too.
This first step is vital to a great sexual relationship with any woman. If you skip it, you'll be doomed to, at worst, very little bad sex; to, at best, mediocre sex, for the rest of your life. Ok, now for the good stuff you've been waiting for.
2 Planning: Take Your TimeThis is important, because women are like crock pots, men are like microwaves. It just takes us longer to heat up. Or, if you like, women are like diesel engines; once we get revved up, we can go for miles (hours). You're the mechanic. Some women like to be taken by surprise and ravished, but most of us need a lot more time to REALLY get into it. A woman's sexuality is like a plant. It needs to be tended to, taken care of, watered regularly. Being that you're the one with the hose, you're the gardener. It's up to you to water her plant, or it will wilt and die. (I'm talking foreplay here boys, not just intercourse.)
When a woman's emotional needs are being met and she feels loved and secure in the relationship, she will bloom sexually as well. (ie: you have more, hotter sex). This is where asking all those questions pays off. Some women never really bloom because the man in her life is too selfish to meet her needsâand has no freaking clue what he's missing!
Pay attention to her answers, and do your best to provide her with what she says she needs. Even if you don't get it all right at first, she will appreciate the effort you put into being romantic, and the more comfortable she will become sharing her sexual side with you.
For a woman, a fantastic night of great sex actually begins that morning. A woman actually requires several dozen non sexual touches a day. Basically, we like to be touched, but not alwasys sexually. Holding hands, hugging, a caress, can be enough to make us feel the first twinges of desire for you. If your not the one doing ALL the touching, she is likely to find someone who will. Here is an example:
Take the time to romance her all day. Set the alarm at least an hour earlier if you can and just spend time kissing. Tell her what it is that attracts you to her, all the reasons you love her. Tell her how much you are looking forward to the night. Bring her breakfast in bed. Take a shower together; tease her a bit, but don't finish; no matter how much you both want to. The goal is to build up to the night time action. Take the time to kiss her at the door; until you can't wait to come home at night, and she can't wait to have you home.
During breaks and on lunch, call her or text her; say something sexy that will make you both wish you were home right then. Arrange for her to get flowers sent to the house before you get home, or leave love notes where she will find them after you leave for work; in her car, in her purse, on the bathroom mirror, in the desk. Whatever.
When you get home, unplug the phone, answering machine, disconnect the doorbell, cart the kids off to a sitter, or grandmas, or send them to a friends house for a sleepover, get dressed up, and take her out to dinner, it doesn't have to be expensive. Or make a meal at home. Cooking together can be very erotic; especially if its done naked. (Don't cook with hot grease if you go naked.) Feed each other; really talk to each other, not about kids, school, work, bills, health problems, the respective parents; nothing that will kill the mood. Be romantic, be silly, be seductive. Take your time and enjoy the meal.
Later, take turns giving each other a massage; with warm, not hot, oils (even olive oil) tease each other; caress; discover every inch of her skin, find her non obvious erroneous zones, (collarbone, neck, ears, inner arm, feet, back of knees, her butt, her back, her sides); its different for every woman, and she may not even know all of them. Help her discover all of them. Make her bloom. Patience is the key here.
No matter how impatient you feel, take a deep breath; do multiplication tables, count to 20, whatever works, and keep going. Focusing on her pleasure will pay off for you in the end when she calls you the best lover she's ever had, no matter what size you are. (It really doesn't matter to most women, especially if your focusing on foreplay. If your insecure about it, don't be. Trust me; if you tease her enough, she won't be thinking about that, and neither should you.)
Caress her, kiss her, lick her; everywhere but her breasts and her clit. This teasing will drive her nuts. You may have to keep her hands off of you. Be prepared to tie her (use soft materials, use a square knot.) down so she can't hurry things up. Don't stop teasing her until she's begging. This process could take hours, if you're that patient.
3 Make Her WildOk, now that you've sufficiently romanced, wined, dined, tickled, teased and tormented her, turn up the heat on her crock pot. Focus on her breasts for at least an hour; see if you can make her climax just by teasing them. Most women can, if they are aroused enough. Make it your goal of the night to see how many orgasms she can have. Don't be afraid to take directions, and let her know you WANT her to tell you what she likes. No matter how tempted you are, don't speed things up; keep teasing and her; go slow, no matter what she says.
Find her clit, or let her show put your hand there, tease her with your mouth, lips, tongue, fingers, feathers, toys; be very gentle, and ask her to direct you; don't be shy; the better she feels, the better she will make you feel later. Don't use your teeth unless she asks you to. (Imagine how it would feel if she bit down on you) It doesn't feel good for us either. Make her cum a minimum of 3-5 times before you continue. At some point, she will probably become overly sensitive; back off a little and let her cool down some. Continued stimulation would be similar to her biting down on your balls right as your trying to come. It hurts, and not it a good way. A multi-orgasmic woman can have several climaxes one right after the other; you'll know your successful if she is moaning loudly, begging, calling your name, screaming, thrashing, biting, hissing, swearing, clawing, pulling your hair, begging you to stop but holding you to her, bucking, tossing her head, whimpering, crying, trembling, rolls her eyes in the back of her head and gets as stiff as a board, squirts, grunts, groans, claws the sheets, and finally, screams at the top of her lungs.
Only then do you finally enter her. Even then, don't just pound away at her, find a rhythm. She will be a wildcat; because you actually took the time to please her the way she always imagined someone would.
Not every encounter has to be as detailed as this one, or as planned out, but the same amount of effort should be there, no matter how creative you get. Any man that takes the time to make a woman experience the best sex of her life, will never again be wishing he had more sex. She will never want to deny you sex, but you have to be willing to wait to get her to that point. Once she has, she will bloom sexually, and pursue sex with you probably several times a week, if not every day, twice a day, and you'll have moved well beyond mediocre sex. You won't be the one begging for sex, anymore, and she will begin seducing you, so long as you make sure to tell her what you like. You will never have to worry about her finding another man, so long as you keep in tune (you're the mechanic remember?) with her emotional and sexual needs, and once she blooms sexually and becomes a tiger in bed, you won't want to find woman either.
PS; Every woman WANTS to be a tiger for the man she loves; he just has to help her to bloom first.
By Lillianna Morgan for Literotica.
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STDs: What Are They and How Do You [not] Get Them?
By Everyday Health. Listen to the âș Podcast at How To Sex.
This episode deals with the following STD concerns: Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis.
The number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), now more commonly referred to as sexually transmitted infections (STI), in the United States hit an all-time high in 2019, according to data released on April 13, 2021, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDCâs surveillance report shows that nearly 2.5 million new cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia were reported that year.
Chlamydia remained the most common condition reported to the CDC, with close to 1.8 million cases, up 19 percent since 2015. Gonorrhea diagnoses reached 616,392, up 56 percent since 2015. And primary and secondary syphilis diagnoses reached 129,813, up 74 percent since 2015.
Of high concern is that congenital syphilis cases, that is, syphilis in newborns, nearly quadrupled between 2015 and 2019, reaching 1,870 cases. From 2018 to 2019 the number of stillbirths caused by syphilis increased from 79 to 94, and the number of congenital syphilis-related infant deaths rose from 15 to 34 deaths.
While the 2019 STD statistics reflect pre-COVID-19 pandemic numbers, preliminary data from 2020 suggests many of the same trends continued during the pandemic. Experts attribute some of the growth in STDs in 2020 to disruptions in STD testing and treatment programs caused by the pandemic.
While 2.5 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis may sound like a lot, itâs likely an undercount: Many people with these and other STDs, formerly known as venereal diseases, go undiagnosed and untreated. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year, accounting for almost $16 billion in healthcare costs annually.
Inequities in STD Burdens
The numbers of STDs increased in all age groups and among all racial and ethnic groups in 2019, according to CDC statistics. However, some groups saw higher rates of STDs than others:
People ages 15 to 24 accounted for 61 percent of chlamydia cases and 42 percent of gonorrhea cases.Gay and bisexual men accounted for nearly half of all primary and secondary syphilis cases.Hereâs what you need to know about how to spot, treat, and prevent STDs.
What Is the Definition of an STD?
âSTDs are diseases that are passed from one person to another through sexual contact,â a representative of the CDC says.
According to the CDC, some of the common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), human papillomavirus (HPV), and syphilis. "Many of these STDs do not show symptoms for a long time," per the CDC, "but they can still be harmful and passed on during sex.â
Virtually all STDs can be transmitted through anal, vaginal, or oral sex. In addition, some STDs can also be transmitted through close skin-to-skin contact, even if no intercourse occurs.
HPV, for example, can be spread through skin-to-skin touching. In addition, âMolluscum contagiosum, a viral skin disease, can be spread through sexual or casual contact, as can scabies, an itchy skin condition caused by a mite infestation. It is also possible to get scabies from an infected sleeping bag or bed,â says Edward W. Hook III, MD, an endowed professor of infectious disease translational research in the departments of medicine, epidemiology, and microbiology at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, who works with the CDC.
STDs donât just affect the genital regions: âOral herpes can be transmitted through oral and genital sex,â says Dr. Hook.
It is important to remember that STDs may have no symptoms. However, new vaginal or urethral discharge or a new rash after sexual contact should be evaluated by a medical professional.
When symptoms do occur, they can include the following:
Chlamydia Symptoms of chlamydia can include vaginal discharge in women, penile discharge in men, and burning during urination in men and women.
Gonorrhea Gonorrhea can cause thick, cloudy, or bloody discharge from the vagina or urethra, and pain or burning when peeing. If you have gonorrhea in your anus, it may cause itching in and around the anus, discharge from the anus, and pain when defecating. Gonorrhea in the throat may cause a sore throat.
Hepatitis B Acute hepatitis B can cause fever, fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, abdominal pain, dark urine, clay-colored bowel movements, joint pain, and jaundice (yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes). Symptoms can appear anywhere from six weeks to six months following exposure to the hepatitis B virus. Chronic hepatitis B sometimes causes symptoms similar to acute disease.
Genital Herpes Signs of genital herpes typically include red bumps that develop into blisterlike sores in the genital area and sometimes on the buttocks or thighs. A new infection with HSV-2, the virus that causes most cases of genital herpes, may also cause flulike symptoms, including fever, headache, feeling tired and achy, and swollen glands.
Oral Herpes Symptoms of oral herpes can include itching of the mouth or lips, sores or blisters on the lips or inside the mouth, and flulike symptoms such as fever, headache, body aches, and swollen glands.
HIV Early symptoms of HIV infection can resemble those of the flu: fever, headache, muscle aches, and sore throat. They may also include swollen lymph nodes, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, a fungal infection of the mouth, and a rash on the abdomen, arms, legs, or face. If HIV goes untreated, later symptoms can include fatigue, weight loss, night sweats, joint pain, short-term memory loss, and recurrent infections.
HPV Most strains of HPV cause no symptoms and are detected only after abnormal cells are discovered during a Pap smear. However, some types of HPV cause genital warts, which appear as skin-colored or whitish growths on the genitals or anus.
Molluscum Contagiosum Often the only sign of this skin disease is pink or flesh-colored bumps with a dimple (indentation) in the center. It is most common in children, who typically get it from skin-to-skin contact or from shared towels or similar items. In adults, it can be sexually transmitted.
Pubic Lice Symptoms of pubic lice include itching in the genital area, tiny bugs in your pubic hair, and visible nits (eggs) on hair shafts. Pubic lice can also infest the hair on legs, armpits, eyebrows, eyelashes, and other facial hair such as mustaches and beards.
More on Scabies and Pubic Lice
How to Know If That Rash Is Scabies
Scabies This skin infestation causes intense itching that is typically worse at night. It can also cause small red bumps or a rash and raised lines on the skin where the mites have burrowed.
Syphilis In the primary stage, syphilis causes a painless sore, or ulcer, at the location the bacteria entered the body, often in the genital area. In the secondary stage of syphilis, a rash may occur on the torso and elsewhere on the body.
Trichomoniasis Another common STD, trichomoniasis is a parasitic infection that can cause burning and itching in the genital area for men and women as well as painful intercourse. Trich can also cause a smelly discharge and painful or frequent peeing.
Can I Have an STD and Not Know It?
Yes. Many STDs donât cause any symptoms, especially during the early stages, so the only way to know for sure if you have one is to get tested. Keep in mind that you can get an STD from having sex with someone who has no symptoms and may not know they have an STD.
Are Adolescents Disproportionately Affected?
The CDC reports that half of newly reported cases of STDs occur in people between the ages of 15 and 24, noting that young womenâs bodies are biologically more susceptible to STDs.
âChlamydia and HPV are common as soon as you become sexually active,â Hook says. âGonorrhea and genital herpes peak in the late twenties to thirties.â
All STDs, though, including HIV, can and do occur at any age.
When and How Often Should I Get Tested?
âWomen should be tested for chlamydia on a regular basis. Some gynecologists test for it automatically, but not all do,â Hook says.
Chlamydia Treatment and Prevention
Testing for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis involves collecting either a urine sample or a swab from the vagina or penis.
For other STDs, including HIV, syphilis, and genital herpes, blood testing is most accurate.
To test for HPV, a sample of cervical or anal cells must be collected.
How often an individual needs to be tested for STDs depends on their level of risk for infection.
The CDC recommends the following for testing for chlamydia:
Annual screening in sexually active women age 25 and younger and in older women who are at an increased risk for infection because of a new sex partner or multiple sex partnersAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations for gonorrhea testing include the following:
Annual screening in sexually active women who are at risk for infection, which includes women ages 25 and youngerAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women under age 25 and older women who are at an increased riskAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations regarding screening for syphilis include these guidelines:
Screening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in men who have sex with menAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC has additional recommendations for other STDs.
In all cases, more frequent screening or screening for additional STDs may be appropriate for certain individuals, depending on their risk factors, including sexual behavior and how common a particular disease is in their area.
Where Can I Get Tested for STDs?
Your family doctor or ob-gyn should be able to do STD testing. In some areas, other options include specialized STD or sexual health clinics.
You can find locations in your area that offer fast, free, and confidential testing using the CDCâs Get Tested tool.
How Can I Protect Myself From Getting an STD?
Abstaining from all sexual contact is the only way to reduce your risk of STDs to zero. But the following measures can also help:
Having only one sexual partner, and ensuring that person is monogamous too, lowers your risk of STDs.Proper use of a condom every time you have sex greatly reduces the risk of all STDs.Getting vaccinated against hepatitis B is the best way to avoid this viral infection. The hepatitis B vaccine can be given to people of any age.Getting the HPV vaccine protects you against strains of the virus that cause genital warts and cervical and other cancers. The HPV vaccine is routinely available to people ages 9 through 26. It is additionally approved for adults ages 27 through 45 but not routinely recommended. Adults age 27 or older who believe they would benefit from HPV vaccination should discuss it with their doctors.What Are the Treatment Options for Common STDs?
Some STDs are curable with medical treatment, while others can be managed to control symptoms and reduce the risk of transmission.
These STDs can be cured with antibiotics:
ChlamydiaGonorrheaSyphilisTrichomoniasisSTDs that can be cured with insecticides include the following:
Pubic liceScabiesMinor surgical procedures such as cryosurgery (freezing) or laser surgery can treat certain STDs:
Genital warts caused by HPVMolluscum contagiosumSTDs that can be managed with antiviral medication include these infections:
Chronic hepatitis BGenital herpesHIVWhen precancerous cells caused by HPV are found on the cervix, treatment may include watchful waiting or surgery to remove the abnormal tissue.
Does Having One STD Make You More Likely to Get Another?
âHaving one STD does not predispose you to others, aside from the behavioral risks shared by all STDs,â says H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a professor emeritus of medicine at the University of Washington Center for AIDS and STD in Seattle, who also served on the board of the American Sexual Health Association.
âHowever,â says Dr. Handsfield, âhaving genital herpes due to HSV-2, but not HSV-1, roughly doubles the risk of HIV if sexually exposed to the virus.â
What Happens If STDs Are Left Untreated?
âThe longer something goes untreated, the more likely it is to cause complications,â Hook says. âLeft untreated, infections from gonorrhea and chlamydia can travel from a womanâs cervix to her uterus and fallopian tubes, which may cause infertility.â
Untreated syphilis "can become neurosyphilis, causing neurological disease,â says Suzanne Fenske, MD, an assistant professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive science at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City. Late-stage complications of syphilis also include aortic aneurysm and other cardiovascular problems.
Untreated HIV can impair the immune systemâs ability to fight off infections and diseases, leading to so-called opportunistic infections, neurological complications, and sometimes cancer.
Untreated chronic hepatitis B can lead to liver failure, cirrhosis, liver cancer, and death.
Failing to treat STDs can have risks for future generations as well. Women who have herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or syphilis can transmit the infection to their baby at birth, which is why testing for STDs; and following safer sex recommendations; during pregnancy is so important.
HIV can also be passed from mother to child during pregnancy, labor, or delivery, but the risk of transmission can be reduced if the mother takes antiretroviral drugs throughout her pregnancy and the baby receives HIV medicines for several weeks after birth.
Complications of STDs
Does the Number of Sexual Partners Affect My Chances of Getting an STD?
âAs a broad rule, more partners means higher risk,â Handsfield says. âHowever, there are innumerable exceptions. Some people have 100 or more partners per year and remain free of most if not all STDs. Others have one or two partners and multiple infections over time.â
More on STD Prevention
Best Condoms for Pleasurable Safe Sex
The bottom line is to use condoms or dental dams (small sheets of latex) to lower your risk and discuss STD testing with your medical provider if you are sexually active.
Can STDs Recur?
A curable STD that has been treated correctly will not recur, but it is possible to get the same STD again. In fact, itâs fairly common. To avoid getting the same STD again, your sexual partner, or partners, must also be treated. And to avoid getting the same or other STDs after treatment, practice safer sex, including using condoms each time you have sex.
The good news is that getting infected more than once does not appear to cause more long-term complications.
âIn women, a second or third infection with chlamydia may raise the risk of complications like pelvic inflammatory disease,â says Handsfield. âBut for the most part, people with multiple episodes of STDs do not fare any worse than after the first infection.â
Chlamydia: Often a Silent Disease
Many people don't realize they have chlamydia because they don't experience symptoms. That's why the condition is often called a silent infection. But untreated chlamydia can cause serious complications in both men and women, including ectopic pregnancy in women. To prevent such complications, young women and men at high risk of chlamydia are advised to get tested for it yearly.
Genital Herpes: A Lifelong Infection
An easily transmitted disease, genital herpes is caused by a virus that stays in the body for life. The infection can cause painful sores to form on the genitals, thighs, or buttocks, but the severity of symptoms ranges widely from no symptoms at all to recurring sores, painful urination, and flulike symptoms. Medication can prevent or shorten outbreaks, as well as lower the chance of passing the virus to a sexual partner.
Gonorrhea: Still Curable, but Antibiotic Resistance Is a Problem
Gonorrhea is highly contagious and, like chlamydia, may cause mild or no symptoms. If left untreated, though, it can cause serious complications, including pelvic inflammatory disease in women and epididymitis in men. While gonorrhea is curable, some strains of the bacteria that cause it have become resistant to most antibiotics.
As of December 2020, the CDC recommends a single 500-milligram (mg) intramuscular dose of the antibiotic Rocephin (ceftriaxone) for uncomplicated gonorrhea. Treatment for coinfection with Chlamydia trachomatis with oral doxycycline (100 mg twice daily for seven days) should be administered when chlamydial infection has not been excluded.
Hepatitis B: Disease of the Liver
Hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver, and the hepatitis B virus is one of several viral causes of hepatitis. There are also nonviral causes. In the United States, infants have been routinely vaccinated against hepatitis B since 1991, and the rate of acute hepatitis B in the United States has plummeted since then. Worldwide, however, chronic hepatitis B infection is common.
HIV: Incurable but Preventable
HIV is a virus that attacks the body's immune system, impairing its ability to fight off infections and diseases over time. The final stage of HIV infection is called acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, or AIDS. AIDS is a life-threatening disease. You can reduce your risk of getting sexually transmitted HIV by using condoms correctly and consistently.
Just about everyone who is or has been sexually active has had HPV at some point. In most cases, the virus clears up on its own, but when it doesnât, it can cause genital warts and a variety of types of cancers, depending on which strain of the virus you have. The Gardasil 9 (HPV 9-valent) vaccine protects against both warts and cancer and is approved for adolescents and young adults.
Molluscum Contagiosum: May Clear on Its Own
This viral infection can be sexually transmitted or spread through contact with infected skin or contaminated objects, such as towels and toys. It can also be spread from one area of the body to another by touching a lesion then an unaffected area of skin. In many cases it goes away on its own, but treatments are available if it doesnât.
Syphilis: Life-Threatening if Not Treated
Syphilis is a bacterial infection that is growing more common in the United States, particularly among men who have sex with men. It can be cured with penicillin or, in the case of a penicillin allergy, other antibiotics. Left untreated, syphilis can affect the heart and brain and be life-threatening. Syphilis that is passed from mother to infant (congenital syphilis) is also a severe, life-threatening condition.
Trichomoniasis: A Parasitic Infection
Trichomoniasis is more common in women, particularly young women, than men. The parasite that causes trichomoniasis can infect the penis or vagina but not the mouth, anus, or other body parts. While symptoms of trichomoniasis may raise a medical providerâs suspicions, a definitive diagnosis requires a laboratory test.
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The Many Pregnancy Prevention Options
By Everyday Health. Listen to the âș Podcast at How To Sex.
Contraception Options 101: Everything You Need to Know About Birth Control
Hereâs the lowdown on pregnancy prevention with pills, patches, implants, and other types of birth control, plus information on effectiveness, availability, cost, and more.
By Cheryl Alkon; By John Paul McHugh, MD courtesy of American College of Lifestyle Medicine
Updated on August 28, 2023
Itâs a fact: If youâre a woman, and you have sex with a man, itâs possible youâll get pregnant. But if you donât want to have a baby, there are many forms of birth control to help prevent pregnancy.
Birth Control: A Definition and Overview
While abstinence, or refraining from intercourse, is the only way to prevent pregnancy with 100 percent certainty, contraception, or birth control, comes in several different forms, both non-hormonal and hormonal.
Non-hormonal methods generally create a physical barrier between the sperm and the egg; a notable exception is the copper IUD, which changes the uterine environment but does not actually present a physical barrier. Two permanent contraception methods require surgery: sterilization, or tubal ligation, for women and vasectomy for men.
Hormonal methods generally prevent ovulation (the release of an egg), make it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus, or prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.
Whatâs the Best Birth Control Method?
âIt varies, and it depends on you and your lifestyle,â says Keosha T. Bond, an assistant medical professor at The City University of New York School of Medicine in New York City. âI try to explain thereâs no one-size-fits-all. Itâs more, âWhat can I do, and how does my body react?â There are so many contraceptive methods out there, but not every one will fit every person.â
How Effective Is Birth Control?
The effectiveness rate of various birth control methods is based on perfect use; meaning the method is used consistently and correctly every single time, and typical use, which includes people who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly.
Knowing what all your birth control options are will help you and your partner choose what works best for you. âI think itâs awesome to be talking about it. A lot of people just donât knowâ about birth control, says Christine Carlan Greves, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist with Orlando Health in Florida.
Birth Control Methods: All Your Contraception Options
Hereâs a look at the various kinds of birth control available today.
Hormonal Birth ControlContraceptive methods that use hormones alter how your body works in order to prevent pregnancy. These range from daily-use options, such as birth control pills, to long-term-use approaches, such as hormonal IUDs, which can stay in place for several years, says Dr. Bond.
Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Pills
There are two types of birth control pills: combination pills that contain both estrogen and a form of progesterone called progestin, as well as progestin-only pills (also known as the mini pill).
The pills work by preventing ovulation, so there is no egg for sperm to fertilize, or by thickening cervical mucus so sperm cannot travel to an egg.
Birth control pills need to be taken every day as directed. Most types of progestin-only pills must be taken within the same three-hour time window every day. Some pills can also be used to stop your period.
How effective are birth control pills? Combined and progestin-only birth control pills are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.
How much do they cost? You need a prescription to get birth control pills. They may cost nothing or up to $50 a month and can be free or low-cost with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, or other government programs.
Hormonal Birth Control Side Effects
Some people donât do well on hormonal contraception. âEach woman is different, and you have to understand your body,â says Bond. If you notice one or more of these side effects, let your doctor know:
NauseaWeight gainChanged menstrual cycles, including spottingSome women like the effect of âthe pillâ on their breast size. They are glad to have that kind of âweight gainâ.
Who Shouldnât Take Hormonal Birth Control?
For some people, the use of hormones is not recommended. âThe pill is easy and awesome, but if you have migraines with aura (vision changes during a bad headache) or have a history of deep vein thrombosis, stroke, or other cardiac changes,â talk to your doctor to learn if you should consider another birth control option, says Dr. Greves. Moreover, if you have a blood-clotting disorder, you donât want to take estrogen, and if you have breast cancer, you donât want to take estrogen or progestin. Smokers and those considered overweight or obese should talk to their doctors about which contraceptives are recommended for them.
Hormonal Contraception Option: The Shot, Depo, or Depo-Provera
An injection of medroxyprogesterone (Depo-Provera) (also known as the birth control shot) can prevent pregnancy for three months.
The shot contains high-dose progestin to prevent ovulation, and it also makes cervical mucus thicker to prevent sperm from reaching the egg.
In most cases, your doctor or nurse will give you the shot every quarter, but in some cases, you may be able to bring the shot home to give it to yourself.
How effective is the shot? Injectables are more than 99 percent effective with perfect use and 96 percent effective with typical use.
How much does it cost? It can cost nothing or up to $150, and it can be free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.
Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Implant, or Nexplanon
The birth control implant, also called Nexplanon, is a small rod about the size of a matchstick that is placed into the upper arm. It releases progestin to prevent pregnancy for up to three years.
The implant must be inserted by a trained healthcare provider and can be removed at any time if you want to get pregnant.
How effective is the implant? The implant is more than 99 percent effective.
How much does it cost? It can cost anywhere between $0 and $1,300, but itâs totally free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.
Hormonal Birth Control Option: Vaginal Ring (NuvaRing or Annovera)
Like combination birth control pills, the vaginal ring contains both progestin and estrogen.
Itâs a small ring that a woman wears inside her vagina, and the hormones work to prevent ovulation and pregnancy.
There are two types of vaginal rings: ethinyl estradiol and etonogestrel (NuvaRing) and ethinyl estradiol and segesterone (Annovera). Each NuvaRing lasts for up to five weeks. You take the old one out and put in a new one about once a month, and it can be used to safely skip your period. Each Annovera ring lasts for one year, but you must put it in your vagina for three weeks, then take it out for one week every month, during which time youâll typically have a period.
How effective is the vaginal ring? Vaginal rings are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.
How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the vaginal ring. NuvaRing can cost anywhere from $0 to $200, and Annovera can cost anywhere from $0 to $2,200. But vaginal rings can be free or low-cost with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.
Hormonal Birth Control Option: The Patch (Xulane or Twirla)
Like the vaginal ring, the patch (brand names Xulane or Twirla) also releases estrogen and progestin, but through a patch worn on your stomach, buttocks, or back.
The patch must be changed once a week for three weeks, and then you skip a week and have your period. Xulane can also be used to prevent your period if you add a new patch on the fourth week instead of skipping a week.
How effective is the patch? The patch is more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.
How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the patch. One pack of three patches lasts for up to one month and can cost from $0 to $150. It is free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.
Note: Hormonal treatments may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the motherâs womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation.
Intrauterine Devices (IUDs)Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are one of the most effective forms of birth control. IUDs are inserted into the uterus by a trained healthcare professional and can work for up to 10 years, depending on which type you choose. They can also be removed any time if you want to get pregnant.
Copper (Nonhormonal) IUD
The Paragard copper IUD (also called the copper IUD) is the only nonhormonal IUD on the market. Itâs a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that has copper wrapped around it, which prevents sperm from reaching an egg because sperm are repelled by copper.
The copper IUD can be used as a regular form of birth control or as a form of emergency contraception (see more information about emergency contraception below). Paragard IUDs are the most effective form of emergency contraception. If you have one inserted within five days after having unprotected sex, itâs more than 99.9 percent effective against pregnancy and then provides very reliable contraception for up to 10 years.
Hormonal IUDs
Like the nonhormonal IUD, hormonal IUDs are a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T. They release a tiny amount of progestin into your body over several years, which helps prevent pregnancy.
There are four brands of hormonal IUDs available in the United States: Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla. Different brands last for different lengths of time. Whichever you choose, you can have your IUD removed whenever you want.
An IUD must be inserted and removed by a doctor, nurse, or another trained healthcare provider.
How effective is the IUD? All IUDs are more than 99 percent effective both for perfect and typical use.
How much do they cost? Anywhere from $0 to $1,300; they are free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.
Note: IUD devices may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the motherâs womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation.
Barrier MethodsOther than condoms, these older methods of contraception typically arenât as effective. âSponges or a diaphragm? I donât want to say they are outdated, but they arenât talked about as much today by healthcare providers,â says Bond. Most barrier methods need to be inserted into the vagina before sex, so âthey take away from the romance aspect of engaging in sex,â she adds.
Similarly, âa diaphragm doesnât work that great,â says Greves. âItâs better than nothing, but I donât remember the last time I recommended it to someone.â
On the other hand, male condoms and internal condoms remain effective forms of contraception that can also help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Barrier Method Option: Diaphragm
A diaphragm is a shallow, flexible cup made of silicone that you put inside your vagina. It covers the cervix and acts as a barrier so sperm canât reach an egg.
Diaphragms are most effective when theyâre used with spermicide (a cream or gel that kills sperm).
Your doctor must fit you for a diaphragm and give you a prescription, and then you can get one at a pharmacy, drugstore, or health center. After that, you can insert it and remove it yourself.
How effective is the diaphragm? If used perfectly with spermicide, the diaphragm is 84 percent effective. With typical use, itâs 83 percent effective.
How much does it cost? Anywhere from $0 to $250. You can probably get a free or inexpensive diaphragm with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, and some government programs. Spermicide, which is available over-the-counter at the drugstore, costs about $5 to $15 per kit.
Barrier Method Option: Sponge
The sponge is small and round and made of soft, squishy plastic.
You insert it deep inside your vagina up to 24 hours before you have sex. It covers your cervix and contains spermicide to help prevent pregnancy. The Today sponge, the only brand of sponge available in the United States; is sold at pharmacies, drugstores, and some supermarkets.
How effective is the sponge? With perfect use, the sponge is 80 to 91 percent effective (itâs more effective if youâve never given birth); with typical use, itâs 73 to 86 percent effective.
How much does it cost? It costs about $15 for a pack of three. You may be able to get low-cost or free sponges at Planned Parenthood or another health center.
Barrier Method Option: Cervical Cap
Like the diaphragm, the cervical cap is a silicone cup, but itâs smaller. You insert the cap deep in your vagina to cover the cervix and prevent sperm from reaching an egg. Itâs also more effective when used with spermicide.
FemCap is the only type of cervical cap available in the United States.
Cervical caps are sold in pharmacies, drugstores, and health centers, but you need a prescription. A nurse or doctor will need to examine you to determine which size cervical cap is best for you.
How effective is the cervical cap? Like the sponge, the cervical cap is more effective if youâve never given birth. If youâve never given birth, the cervical cap is 86 percent effective. If you have given birth, the cap is 71 percent effective.
How much does it cost? The cap costs between $0 and $275, not including spermicide. You can probably get a cervical cap for free or low-cost with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, and other government programs.
Barrier Method Option: Male Condoms
Male condoms are worn as a sheath over the penis during sex. They prevent pregnancy by stopping sperm from getting into the vagina, so it canât reach and fertilize an egg.
Male condoms are used to avoid pregnancy, and they can also reduce the transmission of STIs. Most male condoms are made of latex, but some are made of plastics like polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile for those who are allergic to latex. Lambskin and other animal membrane condoms also prevent pregnancy, but they donât protect you from STIs.
How effective are condoms? If used perfectly, male condoms are 98 percent effective, or 87 percent effective if used typically.
How much do they cost? Male condoms are available in most drugstores, grocery stores, convenience stores, health clinics, online, and vending machines. A box of three usually costs between $2 and $6. Lower-cost or free condoms are available at various health centers.
Barrier Method Option: Internal Condoms
Internal condoms are soft plastic pouches that you put inside your vagina or anus before you have sex. They prevent pregnancy by covering the inside of your vagina, creating a barrier that stops sperm from reaching an egg. They also help prevent transmission of STIs if worn in the vagina or anus.
Internal condoms were once known as âfemaleâ condoms, but they can be used by people of any gender. The only brand of internal condom thatâs available in the United States is the FC2 Female Condom. Itâs available online, at many health centers, and by prescription in drugstores.
How effective are internal condoms? If used perfectly, internal condoms are 95 percent effective. If used typically, they are 79 percent effective.
How much do they cost? They usually cost about $2 or $3 each, but they are covered by most types of health insurance if you have a prescription. Some health centers may offer them for free.
Natural Family Planning and Fertility Awareness MethodsNatural family planning or fertility awareness methods,(FAM); generally involve a woman taking note of the most fertile days of her menstrual cycle and avoiding sex during these days.
They include the Billings ovulation method, in which a woman looks at the consistency of her cervical mucus (long and stringy just before ovulation), and tracking basal body temperature (which rises a small amount during ovulation) to predict the time with the lowest odds of pregnancy.
RELATED: 6 Family Planning and Natural Approaches to Birth Control That Are Legitimate Contraception Methods
FAM takes a lot of dedication, both to track changes over several months and to avoid vaginal sex (or use condoms) when most fertile. âI donât think FAM is reliable,â says Bond. âThere is pre-ejaculation that can contain sperm that you can become pregnant by. If you are not sure about taking some kind of pill, or other hormonal contraception, you should consider using condoms, because they are easy and donât require that much change in the body.â
How effective is FAM? The effectiveness of fertility awareness methods including the Billings method varies widely, with a failure rate of less than 1 percent to up to 12 percent with perfect use, and from 2 percent all the way up to 34 percent with typical use.
How much does it cost? About $10 for a thermometer.
Pulling Out, or WithdrawalPulling out, also known as withdrawal, is when a man removes his penis from the vagina just before ejaculating. Itâs tricky, because pre-ejaculate can form before withdrawal. Avoiding pregnancy means keeping all sperm away from the vagina, and with this method, even a small amount of sperm can get into the vagina and lead to pregnancy. This method is best used when combined with another birth control method, such as condoms.
How effective is withdrawal? The withdrawal method is 96 percent effective with perfect use and 80 percent effective with typical use.
How much does it cost? Nothing, but condoms are recommended.
Abstinence and OutercourseAvoiding any kind of vaginal, anal, or oral sex is called abstinence, and activities such as kissing, dry-humping, masturbating, massage, and talking about fantasies are considered outercourse. The idea is to keep sperm away from the vagina to avoid pregnancy, but these methods require a lot of dedication and willpower.
Terms like âtitty fuckingâ, âcrotch fuckingâ, âjerking offâ, and anal copulation; as well as fellatio (oral-induced male ejaculation), cunnilingus (oral-induce female climax), or nipple stimulation; are the most common outercourse options for a pleasurable climax without vagina penetration by the penis.
How effective are abstinence and outercourse? 100 percent.
How much does it cost? Nothing.
Vasectomy: The Ultimate Birth Control?
Considering a vasectomy? Learn about its effectiveness, risks, and impact on sexual performance. Make an informed choice!
Permanent Methods of Contraception: Tubal Ligation and Vasectomy
For women, sterilization or tubal ligation is a way to permanently prevent pregnancy. It requires surgery to seal off the fallopian tubes so that an egg can never reach a sperm and be fertilized.
Learn More About How to Get Your Tubes Tied: What to Know About Permanent Birth Control
For men, vasectomy is the option for permanent birth control. A vasectomy is a simple surgery in which the small tubes in the scrotum that carry sperm are cut or blocked off, so sperm canât leave the body and cause pregnancy.
Permanent sterilization methods do not protect against sexually transmitted infections; condoms are still necessary to reduce the chances of contracting an STI. While vasectomy and tubal ligation reversal procedures exist, they are pricey and not always effective. Choose these options if you are sure you donât want to have children (or more children).
How effective is permanent contraception? Tubal sterilization and vasectomy both have a failure rate close to 0 percent.
How much does it cost? Tubal ligation can cost anywhere from $0 to $6,000.
A vasectomy costs between $0 and $1,000.
Both tubal ligation and vasectomies may be totally free (or low-cost) with some health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.
Emergency ContraceptionIf used as soon as possible after unprotected sex, emergency contraception (EC) is a safe way to prevent pregnancy. Methods are more or less effective depending on a few variables, such as your weight and how long it has been since you had unprotected sex.
EC comes in several forms:
The Progestin (Levonorgestrel) Pill, or Plan B One-Step
The progestin (levonorgestrel) pill, also known as the âmorning-after pillâ and by the leading brand name, Plan B One-Step, must be taken within 72 hours (three days) of unprotected sex.
How effective is the progestin (levonorgestrel) pill? Levonorgestrel pills can lower your chance of getting pregnant by 75 to 89 percent if you take them within three days after unprotected sex.
How much does it cost? Plan B usually retails for approximately $40 to $50 nationwide. Generic versions usually cost about $11 to $45. If you have health insurance or Medicaid, itâs likely that you can get the progestin pill for free, you just have to ask your nurse or doctor for a prescription (even though you donât need a prescription to buy these types of pills over-the-counter). You may also be able to get the morning-after pill for free or low-cost from a health center or family planning clinic.
Ella
A pill that contains ulipristal acetate, also known by the brand-name Ella, must be taken within five days of unprotected sex. You need a prescription to get Ella, either by seeing your doctor or getting a prescription online.
How effective is Ella? Ella reduces your chances of getting pregnant by 85 percent if you take it within five days after unprotected sex.
How much does it cost? Ella usually costs about $50 at a pharmacy or drugstore, but it might be free if you have health insurance or Medicaid. You may also be able to get Ella for free or low-cost from a health center or family planning clinic. Depending on which state you live in, you may be able to get a prescription for Ella directly from your pharmacist.
The Yuzpe method
The Yuzpe method involves taking higher than usual doses of combination birth control pills that have both estrogen and progestin. This method is most effective within three days of unprotected sex, and it must be done under the supervision of a physician (the number of pills you would take depends on the brand of birth control you use).
How effective is the Yuzpe method? The Yuzpe method is thought to be about 75 percent effective at preventing pregnancy.
How much does it cost? It costs the same as combination birth control pills, which you would usually already have on hand if you are using this method.
Note: Hormonal treatments may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the motherâs womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation. The hormone dose also induces a prompt mentruational flow.
The Copper IUD
The copper Paragard IUD is a non-hormonal IUD. Once the IUD is inserted into the uterus, it makes it hard for sperm to fertilize an egg. When used as a form of EC, the copper IUD is most effective if used within five days after unprotected sex
How effective is the copper IUD? Itâs more than 99.9 percent effective against pregnancy and then provides very reliable contraception for up to 10 years.
How much does it cost? It costs the same as when itâs used for regular contraception, anywhere from $0 to $1,300, but it is often free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.
Note: IUD devices may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the motherâs womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation. Some liken it to a âcoat-hanger abortionâ device, but inserted by a medical professional, to limit damage to the womanâs body, while effectively puncturing any amniotic sack in the uterus.
RELATED: Learn More About Emergency Contraception
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Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life.
By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
I Fucked up.
I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury
Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis.
When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming blood
I was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think youâre cumming but it doesnât stop and its blood)
At this point Iâm panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately.
I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood thatâs coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital.
The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesnât have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department.
Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.
I need surgery.
The surgery is a process called âde glovingâ where they âde-gloveâ the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own.
About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I donât remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out.
I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days.
These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them.
Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain.
Worst of all? Erections.
As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable.
Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.
I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didnât clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter.
I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. Iâm actually leaving out some details because Iâm not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as Iâm trying to recall it.
As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks.
Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft â Here's What That Means
Proceed with caution if you're squeamish.
BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018
There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one.
What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")?
First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis contains two chambers of tissue called the corpus cavernosum, which fill with blood when the penis becomes erect.
Blunt force to an erect penis can tear the sheath surrounding these chambers (and even rupture the erectile tissue inside) so that the blood inside leaks out to other areas of the penis. If you need another visual, Alex Shteynshlyuger, a urologist in New York City, says to think of this covering less like a bone and "more like a sausage casing." (Doctors, however, call the covering of the corpus cavernosum the "tunica albuginea.")
How do penile fractures happen?
A penis can be broken during vigorous penetrative sex or through masturbation. When this happens during partnered sex involving a penis and vagina, "generally speaking, the penis will come out of the vagina and strike against the pubic bone," says Leslie Deane, an associate professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.
While a penis can fracture during sex in any position, research suggests that Female on top, or rear-entry positions such as âreverse cowgirlâ or âdoggy styleâ may lead to penile fractures more often than âmissionaryâ or âspooning.â A penis may be more likely to exit a vagina or anus entirely when thrusting from behind and then, instead of reentering, bang against something hard like the perineum. (If you're an anal sex beginner, it's important to take things slow. Deane says penile fractures aren't uncommon, and that he sees several cases a year. He adds that he observes higher rates of the injury around Valentine's Day and that alcohol is sometimes involved.
What does a broken dick look like?
According to Stacy Loeb, an assistant professor of urology and population health at New York University, a penile fracture may be accompanied by a popping noise, a rapid loss of erection, and acute pain. "The penis may develop swelling and bruising, referred to as an 'eggplant deformity,'" Loeb says. This means that the eggplant emoji isn't totally off-base as a representation of dicks: It just looks like a broken one. Shteynshlyuger adds that some penile fractures lead to bleeding from the tip of the urethra and that patients may notice blood in their urine. If you're having fun with a penis that suddenly "pops," goes soft, and causes its owner immense pain, seek medical attention immediately. You might have a broken dick on your hands.
How is a broken penis treated?
Still reading? Good, because there's some positive news: If treated, broken dicks stand a great chance of making a full recovery. Unfortunately, Deane says, surgery is required in most cases. While there are less severe penile injuries that can occur during sex, such as a tear of one of the superficial veins, the only way to know for sure what's going on is to head to the emergency room.
It's also important to do it fast: "Surgical repair of the tear usually results in good outcomes," Shteynshlyuger emphasizes. However, "If a penile fracture is severe and not treated in a timely manner, it can lead to problems with obtaining or maintaining erections, [or] it may also cause scar formation in the penis and a condition called Peyronie's disease, which causes curvature and deformity of the penis."
After surgery to repair the ruptured "sausage casing" inside the penis, the recovering patient should be able to have sex again in about six to eight weeks, although Deane advises going slow at first. This doesn't mean that wild, headboard-rattling sex is off the table after a penile fracture, but it's not a bad idea for patients to ease their way back in.
Hard Flaccid Syndrome
A rare condition that affects some men, is called Hard Flaccid. They have a stiff, but smaller-than-erect cock. Itâs painful, inhibits real erection, prevents ejaculation, and has constant pain which increases during urination.
Our best investigations conclude that it comes from a likely combination of muscle injury coupled with an anxiety or stress disorder. Many people manifest stiff muscles under stress. More often itâs neck, back, or chest muscles. But rarely itâs the pelvic floor muscles which connect the pelvic bone to the tailbone. When women do Kegal exercises for better vagina constriction, they are working those same pelvic floor muscle groups.
But when a physical injury leads to muscle spasms, like common back injuries cause, The spasms can lead to a precipitous chain of other âself preservationâ conditions.
The Hard Flaccid Syndrome is believed to be just such a âperfect stormâ chain of events.
Letâs hear from a few men who are dealing with this, and what their progress entails.
âOld Willâ said;
âI had Hard-Flaccid for about two years. Low labido, cold penis, glands sometimes had white spots. Then for about 8 months I practiced relaxing, worked on my anxiety and anger issues and it all over time went away.
I started off on anxiety meds and that's when I noticed hard-flaccid getting better. Suddenly it hit me that the only thing I hadn't thought of was managing my anxiety. I was on that for about 2 months. Then when I got off the meds it started to get a little worse but I figured, if it was really anxiety that caused it, then I needed to calm down, and stop obsessing over it. I mean, I was absolutely obsessed with curing my hard flaccid. So, I just stopped looking into it. I stopped looking for cures online. I made the decision to just enjoy life for a change, better myself and not think about all this all day. And slowly, it just returned to normal.
When I first really started taking my mental health seriously, which was about 8 months ago, and the true beginning of my recovery process I lifted weights about 5 days a week. I wouldn't call myself heavyweight lifter. I did light moderate weight lifting. But I haven't been to the gym since November. I plan on going back. I'm a firm believer of exercise improving body and mind.
I masturbated during my healing process. I do think it would have made things move along a little faster, if I didn't masturbate at all, but I figured it was worse if I stressed over it. So, if I was gonna masturbate, I was going to enjoy it and have no regrets about it.
I know how difficult this is for people so I wanted to share my story and hope it helps many of you.â
âWhirl Mindâ responded;
âMine likely developed from a lot of sitting, possibly bad diet for a few days or spicy food that led to minor constipation/difficult bowel movements, and general stress that increased clenching. Who knew I could injury myself by crapping too hard?
Not totally sure though and Iâm still in a minor flare, softer down there today though.
Mine also went away pretty much completely for about 2 weeks recently, without sticking to any routine. Iâm noticing some pelvic floor inflammation and extra pain at the base as of a few days ago and the HF has returned but in a more minor way. Hoping I can get over this again and also trying to work on my anxiety.
My condition had suddenly turned into the thin & weightless âlong flaccidâ and it freaked me out at first, but after 5 days or so of that I pretty much just accepted any variance in that as good and got myself into a positive feedback loop. Note that I am an extremely high-strung person and this wasnât easy but I was so desperate that it was imperative that I just let go. So pushing everything surrounding this shit to the back of my mind but also staying afloat on any positive changes like better hang, better fullness temporarily etc. I think this mental state was and is a huge part of the condition to focus on for most people but also a big reason why it is so fickle.
I donât know if something in particular in terms of lifestyle or diet caused this recent return to HF but I do know that my anxiety surrounding the condition was a little worse for a few days this week. I can clearly feel the issue of dysfunction at the base which seems to stem from my IC and BC muscles, because when the both the Hard-Flaccid and Long-Flaccid states leveled out and I was feeling good and much closer to normal I still dealt with many of the muscular symptoms, or what Iâm assuming are muscular.
Anxiety can be so hidden in our psyche and Iâve literally watched it, like a switch going on and off, effect at least the peripheral symptoms of this condition. Iâve practiced no-fap, which means abstaining from jerking off; mainly as an experiment but my erection quality is astounding at this point in time.
As anxiety is dealt with, libido should increase as well as Erection Quality in the absence of a more severe issue. The uncertainty of this condition is so hard to deal with, and with some firmness & tightness down there, now present again.
Iâm seriously trying to get a grip on my anxiety and will probably do some light stretches. For me personally I found that sometimes getting into a routine all to fix HF would make things worse since I was so fixated on it, so if anything Iâm trying to find a balance with everything.
Keep in mind I never stuck to any routine and was somewhat inconsistent, the change to Long-Flaccid happened so suddenly while I was just trying to sleep, and in pain; and the improvements that followed seemed to only come with time, working on anxiety and trying to live without thinking about this condition.â
Gunz GotBunz added his encouragement;
âYour symptoms are my symptoms, and I found that after being completely calm, and using the relaxation & mindfulness techniques every day, it was so easy for my wife to stimulate me my penis was so long and hard! I felt the glory of Rome that day!
But alas that was but once. Anxiety always takes a toll on the body, and the more I achieve mindfulness the better and bigger my erection gets!â
Numb Penis: Whatâs Going on and How to Fix It!
By Dugan
Youâre watching a hot sex scene, getting it on in your backseat, or youâre taking a little âme timeâ with your favorite website, and, well, you notice things arenât happening down there. Whatâs going on? It could be something called penis numbness. There are quite a few reasons a man can be the bewildered owner of a numb penis. Read on to learn how penis numbness reached you and then how to get him back up and at âem!
1) Penile Injury â Known also as penile traumas, penis injuries can cause penis numbness . A penile injury damages the blood vessels, which are essential to a healthy penis because they bring the blood that produces an erection. Lots of things can hurt a penis, such as rough sex, too much masturbating, using a too-tight grip for self-pleasure, sexual aids, and group sports.
2) Neuropathy â Neuropathy is when a limb or appendage goes numb. This numb penis is often the effect of an illness or condition but can also be the result of the regular pinching of a nerve (say in the hip area). Neuropathy wears 2 masks. One time it feels like a cold numbness, and the next time it feels like pins-and-needles or lightning shooting through the penis. Medical conditions such as diabetes, obesity, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and some cancers can cause neuropathy.
3) Peyronieâs Disease â Peyronieâs disease is a condition in which the penis has a curve of more than 20 percent. In addition to being a painful disease, Peyronieâs disease has been associated with loss of penile sensation in some men. The scar tissue that causes Peyronieâs can be less sensitive than regular tissue, resulting in loss of genital sensation.
4) Lifestyle â Lifestyle is a big part of health, but itâs often the thing people are most reticent to change. Diet and exercise are significant factors that need to be addressed if there arenât already healthy behaviors in practice. Stress can also make the problem worse, so be sure to incorporate stress-reduction techniques into each day. Changes in lifestyle have been shown time and time again to yield big results.
Penis Power: How to Get It Back!
Want a more-sensitive penis? In most cases, a man can regain sensitivity with a little dedication and a little help. Here are a few ways to breathe life back into a manâs boner.
Address the root disease if itâs the cause. Work with doctors and therapists to first treat the disease and then treat the symptom, not vice versa. Whole-body health should always be the number one focus.
Wear looser pants and underwear to give the big guy some space and not have to spend the day hugging fabric, which desensitizes it.
Spend some time each day letting it all hang out in a personal space. A little air also prevents too much contact for the penis.
More movement â sitting all day can deaden the nerves in the pelvic basin. Get up every hour or two to give them some freedom.
Donât go too hard, or too often, when sexing it up.
For men who cycle, get a padded bicycle seat cover and padded shorts to reduce the hard compression against the nerves for prolonged rides.
Proper penis care can also preserve sensation and decrease the chances of penis numbness. Lightly, but thoroughly, wash it with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then rinse and air dry.
Use a reliable skin treatment oil, like Shea Butter, Almond oil, or other safe moisturizer. Avoid lotions with harmful ingredients. All of it gets absorbed into your organs, and can be toxic.
Sex lubricants that might be fine for a womanâs internal organs, may be terrible for a manâs external organ. Water-based lubes evaporate very quickly, especially with rapid stroking. If your lover is stroking you hard, and the once-viscos lube, is now a tar-like glue, It can not only tear your very thin cock skin, but it can also lead to bursting internal cells inside your shaft or glans.
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
Tie up your man and go to town.
By alf_2712. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Bondage sex is often associated with Sado Masochism. But that vaste generalization does a great disservice to a wide range of sexual proclivities. Each part of this grouping ought to be understood on itâs own attributes.
Bondage is simply adding real or perceived restrictions in a sexual encounter. Itâs the fantasy of lost control over a situation which thrills many lovers. It often incorporates a fantasy scenario and some role-playing.
Sadism is the infliction of discomfort to a lover.
Masochism is a self-inflicted discomfort.
Today weâre hearing from Alfie, about her loverâs favorite kink. He allows himself to be restrained and subjected to sexual frustration, in the form of a very delayed ejaculation.
Healthy lovemaking of this sort may include switching roles, or may remain in fixed roles of a dominant & a submissive.
Sometimes itâs only a fantasy desired by one of them, yet the other lover plays a role simply to satisfy the otherâs sexual sesires. Hereâs Alfie.
My favorite Tease & Denial plot.Spread eagle is my definitely my favorite bondage position. I love it. Tying at the feet is not always necessary, but the hands, absolutely. Even though a pair of cuffs in the middle do have their place, Iâm a firm believer in hands at the corners. Some sort of strapping under the bed, whatever; we just want his arms out. Face up, of course.
You will need:n a bed big enough for both of you
n some kind of restraint system already attached at all four corners of the bed frame, to tie his limbs outward, toward the four corners of the bed
n a bowl or basket containing:
A: a bottle of tasty massage oil,
B: a cock ring, and
C: a feather, furry mitt, or something which is very ticklish.
Besides these, the following are preferred;
n big tits If youâve got them
n and minty gum can be nice.
No need for a blindfold. believe me, his eyes are your friend. You might also keep a glass of water, gotta keep those spit and sweat glands pumping. Ice water if youâre a bitch.
And a word on gagging. itâs up to you! But if youâre gonna gag, gag properly (i.e. rubber is better than your thong). Letâs get started! But let him breathe freely. His muffled voice is more for your experience of domination.
Get your man on your bed. Your face and hairdo should be impeccable and sultry, with lipstick mascara, and whatever else makes you look like a high-class slut. But somehow keep your hair from falling into your face on onto his oily body.
You want his to see your impeccable face and styled hair for the entire event.
If thereâs a clock in the room, hide it.
Get him on his back and give him a kiss. A pillow under his head is good. And heâs naked, right? Completely naked? Dote on him and ask if he likes the position of the pillow. This doting just camouflages the torment you have planned for today.
You donât have to be also naked, yet; but let your clothing help set a sensual mood. A Silky robe or his favorite lingerie is a good choice to start with.
Make focused attention on his comfort before you gently attach the restraints. Adjust the wrist restraints so you can fit one finger between the material and his skin. You want barely any wiggle room in his arms.
And his legs? Well, thatâs up to you. Being bound on the bed and all accessible is going to make him squirm whether his legs are forced straight or not. I say leave em. But he might accidently hurt you if he suddenly flinches his legs.
Once all restraints are attached, extend each of his limbs and tighten the length up, so heâs truly spread-eagle and limited from squirming around during the event.
Tease and denial is the name of the game here. Or âedgingâ if you like. And edging it is.
Weâll be taking him right to the edge of an orgasm, more than a few times.
You know youâre doing well if you lose count. I hope your blowjob skills are up to date, âcause tongue is king here. Not to say itâs your only asset (itâs not). but subjecting him to excruciating pussy-torture can come a bit later.
In case itâs not clear already, this guide is written from a womanâs perspective; so if youâre not one, some parts of it may not be applicable.
Set the scene:So! Your man-slave is bound and the fun can begin.
Whatâs first? Well, âwhatâs firstâ is the part that I donât really know about. I hope the setting is nice, the light not too bright; the room not too cold. Sensual music or nature sounds can be nice.
I like to get on top for a moment after the restraints are on, & give him a hickey, then slither down to his knees.
Scratch his stomach and sides on the way down (good nails are good to have; nothing like a French manicure at your manâs balls). Yeah, scratch his balls a little.
Sensual disrobing:
By now itâs time to take something off. Make it a sensual performance for his enjoyment. I let my g string panties stay on a little longer, but you ainât got a smooth stomach for nothing.
Apply the Massage Oil:Now itâs time to bring out the massage oil. I Hope you taste tested it first. Sweet Almond or olive oil is reliable. Sweet Almond unscented oil has a very neutral taste. Artificial scents might smell nice, but usually are bitter tasting, and might upset your stomach. Plan on lots of tasting.
Mmm, oil. Again, donât use any water-base lubricant for this event. Whatever oil it is you use, itâll warm up in your hand and be a little more liquidy. We donât need to let it yet, though.
So kneel facing him, right up between his thighs; & get yourself all slippery; itâs easy to start with your own arms, and then your chest and beyond. Show him how slippery. Cover yourself from your neck down to your thighs.
Now straddle over his waist as you coat his arms, shoulders, neck, chest, and armpits. Itâll make little suction noises when you dump it on your hands and on to his body. Cover everything in front of you, down to his knees, up to his nipples, only enough on his cock to get it shiny. Donât put oil on his head, or yours. Take a minute to lightly rub his armpits, flanks, and nipples.
Now slowly slide your panties down each hip, then shift off him as you draw a leg out of the thong. Then get up and stand over him, facing his feet, with your ass and cunt in his full view. Now slowly descend to your knees, and apply oil on your ass, once coated sufficiently, lean over with a hand resting on the mattress right next to his crotch, so he can see you further rub the oil slowly over your anus and labia.
Add some more oil on his pelvis, thighs, hips, just make sure youâre carefully supporting your own weight as you slide your hands over his oily body. We donât need any cracked ribs ruining the event.
When youâre both coated, rotate around and kneel between his thighs.
Now slowly lean over and give one of his nipples a lick, then lay flat on top of him again.
Let your tits make first body contact to his chest, and pause to oscillate a bit, before fully landing your entire torso onto his, with your thighs along the inside of his.
You can probably feel gravity pulling you towards his feet. You can position your breasts nicely between his thighs on the slide down stroke, then slide back up to his face and do it again. Maybe lick his balls.
Get up on your knees and rotate to straddle his stomach now, on your knees again, his eyes facing your ass. Pour or squirt some oil into your palm and hold it for, oh, ten seconds. Then cup your hand with it up under his balls, and drag the liquid up to his belly button.
Massage his entire scrotum sack, gently fondling each of his balls as you go.
Finally, drip a bit of oil over his cock tip, then use an open palm to very gently rub just his glans, the top cap of his cock.
Add some more oil on his cock tip, and sensually spread the oil down his entire cock shaft.
Ooh, all slippery, all of a sudden. Grasp his cock below the head and slide your hand back down again, and massage his balls some more, Itâs amazing if the sack is trimmed or shaven.
Put your thumb and forefinger in an âokayâ circle position around the base of his cock, above the balls, and squeeze. Draw your hand up a little and see that cock head bulge; every nerve ending standing at attention. You can hold the tight grasp about 15 seconds, then release him now, because itâs time for the cock ring.
I prefer and recommend the simple stretchy rubber O ring that leaves his balls free. Have him take a deep breathe in, then have him completely relax his body as he exhales. While he exhales, roll the cock ring on down his oily shaft, right to the base. Now maybe give him a minute to cool down first if you have to. While your ass is in his face, rub your labia and anus slowly, some more, then crawl back down between his thighs and look at his eyes.
Next, itâs time for part one of I donât know how many:This is the slow, grueling handjob. Itâs going to be very tasty indeed. I have a big smile on my face, perched inside his spread knees, looking into his eyes and licking my teeth.
What a view he has: my face, my hair, tits, neck, bare shoulders, and his big, helpless cock wrapped in my slick fingers. A nice little exclamation point.
With the cock ring on properly, his cock is; hard. Donât forget it. The cock ring is a must-have for 90% of the time. The cock ringâs doing some work for you in keeping his penis bigger, harder, more sensitive and for longer. It also prolongs cumming, which is nice. Would you like to prolong cumming?
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Iâd say for now stay at his knees. Have one hand by his stomach and the other around his dick. Tickle, rub, caress and massage the head. Your fingertips have a little texture and itâs good for this.
Make a fist above the head and slide the cock through your liberally lubricated hand, and then the next above it. Keep one hand working his balls while the other is up and down the shaft, getting just high enough to touch the head.
But this isnât really a handjob guide; itâs up to you to know how to get him real worked up in your hands, but just shy of cumming. Pay very close attention to his facial expressions. You should have learned these clues from all the previous sex youâve had with your lover.
And I mean real just shy of cumming. Donât take any chances if heâs looking ready bust a nut 'cause gameâs over if he does, unless youâre both into a little Post orgasmic torture.
After the third or fourth almost-orgasm, just stop. Release his cock (I didnât say take the ring off) and take a break.
Lie down next to him, ask him how heâs doing. Heâs probably a mess already.
If heâs been talking a lot and annoying you, feel free to gag him. Ball gags are best. You can also shut him up with some tongue and a little gravity-biased spit swapping. Reach down and stroke his cock. I say gag him. If he doesnât heâs never getting out. Hehe, look at those eyes. You need him to be able to breathe freely, because itâs one of the clues of his impending ejaculation.
Get back on top of him, looking away. Sit on his chest; or his neck. Donât worry, he can breathe. Get out your oil. Heâs likely to groan at the click of the bottle closing. Thatâs right, slow grueling handjob part two. Drip some lube on his cock and get busy again. It should take less than five minutes to get him to orgasm, so go for four and a half. Give it a couple minutes cool down period each time.
Take off his gag for a minute. Donât worry, youâll get it back on. Lie flat on top of his body, with your cunt barely rubbing the side of his cock shaft. Kiss him on the lips, and tell him youâre going to suck his cock a little; maybe a lot? See the slightly pained expression.
Tell him youâre going to eat him alive. I like to tell him; âKiss me if you want to cum, suck my lips off.â
Save your saliva, put the gag back and reverse yourself. Apply some fresh oil and get into the 69 position. Depending on how tall you both are your thighs may be right past his face, but likely not (unless on purpose). Licky licky, sucky sucky.
Ooh, the blowjob, about the most vindictive instrument of torture at your disposal; pleasure-torture, of course, but torturous none the less.
Have your hands intertwined around his balls and the base of his cock, and point the thing at your lips. Tell him itâs just inches away. He can feel your hands, your breath and your tits on his stomach, but is looking at your spread ass. Told you a blindfold wasnât necessary. That said, presentation isnât as important now, either.
Press his cock against his stomach and give his balls a lick. In fact, give his balls the whole hog all over again. Lap away like a dog on peanut butter.
Tongue, tongue, tongue. Not the best from this angle though, so back to the shaft. Do a sloppy harmonica slide kiss up its length and back down the other side. Do it again; then let the tip of your tongue wander along the base of the head, all around; youâll probably have been introduced to precum by now. Precum is the bomb. In fact, precum is a reward, and you want more of it. And god knows his dick wants more of your saliva.
Yes, saliva, the wonderful renewable fluid of many useful and interesting applications. Put it on his dick. Lots of it. Big, long, flat licks are good for applying the stuff. So is outright drooling. Itâs also recyclable; anyway, coat it.
Purse your lips in the Marilyn Monroe âpruneâ shape and plant them on the head. Lower your own head, slowly, keeping them pressed, sliding your lips over the head so he breaks firmly through your kiss. I like to call this move âcrowningâ the dick.
Mmm, cocksucking. In this context of extremely erotic tease and denial, this is where the head of his cock gets a good workout. Get both hands around the shaft and your mouth on the head for the full engulfing effect, or take him to your tonsils while heâs gasping. He should be gasping.
Heâs definitely feeling the restraints, for he really wants his hands on your ass. Or your head, or something, anything. Helpless as a little duckling.
So employ to whatever effect you choose. Your lips, tongue, teeth, the cavity at the back of your mouthâŠthe roof of your mouth, cheeks, did I say lips? Teeth are special. The mouthâs real power, there to tease and delight, nibble and horrify, perhaps making a gentle introduction as his cock glides past your cool, wet lips for the umpteenth time.
His cock, still, sealed inside the tight, wet and very hot prison of your mouth, with your tongue the interrogator and no escape in sight. Iâm sure itâs ecstasy, and ecstasy should last. For a real treat, squirt some (edible) oil in your mouth, let it sit for a moment, and suck him in. Loudly. Unseal your lips to allow some of the goo to dribble out. They call cum-swapping snowballing because of the accumulation; keep slurping. No need for lip gloss with this kind of action.
Instead of popping him out of your mouth when heâs about to cum again, if you think he can handle it just keep him there, suspended in your mouth (oxygen free). In the 69 position your mouth and throat are positioned excellently for sucking cock. Deepthroat him if you can. You want him to really feel and experience the depth and unrelenting cock-ministering power of your body.
Give him a real tour of the orgasm factory, so to speak. With the cock ring, one merely needs a hand and the lightest touch at the base of his cock in order to point it about.
You are his queen tonight, so continue to make the most of it. Give him the most lascivious tongue lashing of his life. Snake it up, down and around the shaft, his belly button, his thighs (no substitute for tits though), and all over the head.
Pointed tongue, flat tongue, slurpy dripping loving tongue; he can feel your every taste bud. Stop intermittently of course. One thing youâll have to get used to is the sound of breathless disappointment.
Iâve described so far you being flat on his stomach, like a half of 69. If you are, after a good bit of luxury cocksucking, flip around, get your ass in the air, and; continue it. If you thought there was some spit content before, well. Give him a real working over all over again.
Noticed you havenât used any artificial lubricant in a while? Yeah. Look into his eyes, stick your tongue out all the way, and give him a big snail trail from under his balls to the tip of his cock. You probably know how to swish your tongue around with your mouth closed to stimulate more production.
Have him watch you do this. Then, leave his cock flat on his stomach, lean over and, slowly, let a big fat string drip down past your lips and all over his cock and balls. Drool it. Youâll probably have to break it off at your chin, afterwards. Rub it in (to his dick, I mean), run your tongue up to the head again, hold it vertical, and do your best to make him squeal.
âWhat, you donât want your dick sucked?â
You should be at least an hour in. That cockâs been wet for a while. Itâs had quite a bit of tongue. If youâre good at blowjobs, heâll have done some work. And having been licked all over, he ainât nothing but cock now.
Reapply some oil and remind him. Heâs probably moaning, panting, and unsure. Give his balls a scratch. The gag in his mouth will have been suppressing his complaints nicely, to say nothing of the feeling of helplessness it contributes. If this is his first time heâll have never wanted to cum so badly in his life.
Slow, drawn out, deliberate and agonizing tease and denial is a kind of extreme erotic frustration that in the process of inducing is, well, quite delicious.
You can give your mouth a break now. Sit back at his knees, facing him, and produce your feather, fur, or strip of silk. Wiggle the point of the feather under and around his balls, maliciously target the head, and run it up to his neck. Aw, itâs just a little feather. Drape your piece of fabric on his dick and trace it over and around, or hold it at length and have it dance around his balls.
Set them aside. Did you bring some condoms? I hope so. Oil him up again and slip one on. Dribble a little oil on top, and put another one on! And one or two more, depending on their thickness (you probably donât need to lube up the last one). Hoo boy. Youâre going to fuck him like this. Heâll feel the heat but not your pussy.
So with a glint in your eye, release his leg restraints and have him slide his thighs together, then climb on cowgirl facing him.. Take him right to the hilt; I donât want to know the noises heâs making. Grind away your clot on his pelvis, but keep the vertical strokes to a minimum. Is it unbearable? Of course not. So letâs turn the torture up to 11.
After youâve had enough of this, take the condoms off, all at once, release his cock, and have your pussy sit at the base of his shaft. Tell him you want to polish his lovely shaft, and âthis is gonna suck.â Put your hands down on the bed beside him, and slide your pussy up the length of the shaft, till your clit is just past the head. Slide back down. Groaning, muffled moaning and heavy breathing are all to be expected. Heâs not penetrating your cunt, but your labia & clit are enjoying his shaft.
Be agonizing. Wet pussy sliding on a cock in this state is a deadly, twisted move. You can be a little bit sadistic. Make his cock shine. I neednât point out itâs the more sensitive underside of his cock youâre working with. So go extra slowly and ignore the whimpering. After a few minutes of this, get off, stand his cock up and plunge the whole thing deep into your pussy. Not too fast though. If you think he can keep still and you arenât reverse cowgirl, lean forward and kiss his neck. Lick some of the sweat off your victimâs face. Then lean back, keeping his dick confined the whole time. Then crawl up and bury his face in your ass, and purr while he struggles, his cock twitching, getting nothing but air.
âWhat now? You want some cum soon?â
That can be obliged, if he isnât ready for another slow, grueling handjob or getting sucked again. But he probably is; and how he gets off is, of course, up to you. Should he orgasm deep in your pussy? I say no. Having him cum all over somewhere visible is more rewarding. You could take the gag off now too, but he might bite you. Get your tongue at the ready, and prepare for an extra large spoonful of hot, sticky cum.
You know how to get him there; when heâs finally ready. I recommend the sloppy cum in mouth finish. Work him. This should be at least the 15th time he approaches a volcanic cum pop.
So either get a hand on there and tongue him to the first squirt, or jerk him with Oily Hand. A hand around his balls either way. Right when he starts ejaculating, pop that bulging cock head in your mouth and get on the receiving end. Smile while it oozes past your lips and down to his balls, like so much spit before it. Cum play is where itâs at. Iâd say make sure to get all the cum out, for a giggle during cleanup.
By alf_2712
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Fundamentals, Types and Roles, Safety Rules, and More
By Nuna Alberts, LCSW. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
If youâve ever fantasized about getting kinky in the bedroom, youâre not alone. The runaway success of E. L. Jamesâs Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books; the three top-selling print and e-books in the United States between 2010 and 2019; not to mention the sales of the movies they generated, prove that interest in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is anything but rare.
BDSM can involve role playing, sensory manipulation, and more. Here are a few popular ways enthusiasts like to get kinky!
Prevalence: How Many People Practice BDSM?
Further proof: Nearly 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually, while slightly more women and less men are aroused by the idea of being dominated, according to a 2016 study. The same study also found that almost 47 percent adults would like to participate in at least one nontraditional type of sexual activity, and 34 percent said that theyâd done so at least once in the past. No wonder if you search the phrase âBDSMâ on Google it will return more than 500 million results. By comparison, the phrase âmissionary sexâ returns about 163 million results.
The History of BDSM: Not So New
Explore a little more and youâll also discover that BDSM is nothing new. Among BDSMâs historical high points:
Art and texts from ancient Greece and Rome show physical pain being used as an erotic stimulus, per the book An Illustrated History of the Rod, by William M. Cooper, first published in 1868.The Kama Sutra, the revered Sanskrit text on sexuality written in India about 2,000 years ago, describes six appropriate places to strike a person with passion and four ways to do it. It also has chapters titled âScratching,â âBiting,â and âReversing Roles.âThe Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat who lived from 1740 to 1814, wrote a variety of erotic novels and short stories involving being beaten and beating others. Eventually the authorâs name gave rise to the term âsadism.â Similarly, the term âmasochismâ is derived from the name of Austrian nobleman and author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose 1870 novel Venus in Furs describes a dominant-submissive relationship.Back in 1953, a Kinsey Institute study found that 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men were aroused by being bitten.And even pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, 36 percent of U.S. adults reported having had sex using masks, blindfolds, or other forms of bondage.Is BDSM Still Considered a Medical Disorder?
At one time, mental health experts were dubious about whether those who practiced BDSM were mentally healthy. But the American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatizing kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013. For the first time ever, the guidelines drew a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviors outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and those who force others to engage in those behaviors without consent.
That means simply experimenting with, say, whips and chains, is no longer a sign of mental illness that by itself âjustifies or requires clinical intervention,â the manual states.
There are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme. Sexual sadism disorder, for instance, involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. And sexual masochism disorder involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement.
The difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, in the case of sexual sadism disorder, and that BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function, in the case of sexual masochism disorder.
The Psychology of BDSM: Why Are People Drawn to It?
Most of the available evidence shows that the majority of BDSM enthusiasts are mentally healthy and typical in every respect except that they find traditional (âvanillaâ) intimacy unfulfilling and want something more intense.
âPeople always ask if itâs normal to be interested in BDSM,â says Michal Daveed, a spokeswoman for The Eulenspiegal Society, a nonprofit organization in New York City that describes itself as the âoldest and largest BDSM support and education groupâ in the country.
âNormal is a funny word to describe a really widespread and diverse humanity. If your definition of normal is how many people are doing this, itâs way more people than you may think,â says Daveed. âAnd if your definition of normal is ordinary, the BDSM world is full of ordinary people whose sexuality happens to be hardwired a particular way.â
One landmark 2008 study backs Daveed up. It found that people who engaged in BDSM were more likely to have experienced oral sex or anal sex, to have had more than one partner in the previous year, to have had sex with someone other than their regular partner, and to have taken part in phone sex, visited an internet sex site, viewed an X-rated film or video, used a sex toy, had group sex, or taken part in manual stimulation of the anus, fisting, or rimming.
However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious. Indeed, men who had engaged in BDSM scored significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men.
âOur findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with ânormalâ sex,â the researchers concluded.
âBDSM is a healthy expression of sexuality,â says Filippo M. Nimbi, PhD, a researcher at the Institute of Clinical Sexology and in the department of dynamic and clinical psychology at Sapienza University, both in Rome.
Dr. Nimbi is also the coauthor of a study that compared 266 consensual BDSM practitioners to 200 control subjects who described their sex lives as traditional. (10) Echoing the earlier study, the researchers found that the BDSM group tended to report fewer sexual problems than the general population.
âPeople engaging in BDSM are usually people who have thought a lot about their sexuality,â Nimbi said. âThey have explored and faced their sexual boundaries. Basically, they know what they like, and they do it. This has a positive outcome on their sexual experiences and on the overall quality of their lives.â
Many people think itâs a pathology or a perversion to, say, want to be spanked hard and to be happy about that, he added. âWe each develop our erotic fantasies from our different tastes, experiences, and curiosities, beginning in childhood and lasting until the end of our lives. Everyone is different. We can develop the same fantasy from different stories, and we can develop different fantasies from the same stories. Some people find in BDSM a way to be free, to get wild, to let go, and to play a different role from their everyday lives. And if they get satisfaction and respect the ârules,â why should it be abnormal?â
The Physicality of BDSM: Why Does It Feel Good?
Patti Britton, PhD, MPH, cofounder of the credentialing and training institute Sex Coach U and a past president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), as well as other experts are quick to point out that seeking the pain-pleasure connection is not unique to the BDSM community. Think of athletes who push past physical comfort to experience a ârunnerâs high,â or people who chase thrills by engaging in dangerous extreme sports, like skydiving. Think of the bliss that aficionados of super spicy food experience when biting into a pepper sets their mouth on fire, or the rush of fear that riding a roller-coaster or watching a horror movie can bring.
âThe same chemical cocktail of endorphins, dopamine, and other hormones that make those experiences pleasurable to some makes BDSM actually quite wonderful to others,â says clinical sexologist Francesca Gentille, coeditor of The Marriage of Sex & Spirit, and host of the podcast Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra. âI like to compare sexual preferences to taste in food. Most of us donât like bland food, but we have a range of how spicy we like it.â
Common Questions & Answers
What does BDSM stand for?
BDSM is an acronym that stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.
Why do people like BDSM?
In the past, it was thought that BDSM might be a sign of unhealthy sexuality. But increasingly, even medical professionals say that BDSM is a healthy expression of sexuality. Erotic fantasies that fall into this category develop from different tastes, experiences, and curiosities that develop in childhood.
What is a rigger in BDSM?
A rigger is someone who, in engaging in BDSM play, ties rope for bondage purposes.
What is a brat in BDSM?
A brat, in the context of BDSM, is someone who misbehaves toward the dominant party in the BDSM scene being played out.
Is BDSM illegal?
BDSM occupies murky territory, legally. The foundation of BDSM âplayâ is consent between the parties engaging in it. However, you cannot legally consent to be tortured or assaulted. And what seems to be âplayâ to some may appear differently to others.
Roleplaying and BDSM: The Variety Is Endless
Doctor and patient. Teacher and student. Roleplaying is a common aspect of BDSM âplay.â It may involve two or more people who âact outâ a particular scene or fantasy. BDSM roleplay can happen in person or virtually. It almost always involves at least one individual being dominant and another being submissive. It may be simple, or it may be complicated enough to require a script. And actual sex is not the focus.
âThe core of BDSM is the psychological part,â explains Mistress Damiana Chi, a dominatrix in Los Angeles who holds a PhD in clinical psychology. (She asked that her real name not be used, citing privacy concerns.) âFor BDSM to be real, it has to involve an exchange of power with a lot of trust and respect. The couple has to decide which role they want to play, the dominant one or the submissive, and itâs that dynamic that creates erotic intensity.â
Common themes for BDSM role play include:
Kidnapper and victimLaw enforcement and prisonerOwner and petRoyal and commonerMost Recent
While chains and whips might excite Rihanna (as she proclaims in the hit song âS&Mâ), itâs wrong to think all manifestations of BDSM involve inflicting extreme pain. The range of erotic expressions that fit under its umbrella is huge.
At one end thereâs âlightâ BDSM, which includes activities like tickling, using a blindfold, tying your partner to the bedposts with silk scarves, slapping their rear playfully, and making verbal demands, such as âCall me Sirâ or âCall me Madam.â No pain. No force. Just playful and pleasurable.
At the other end of the spectrum is âhardcoreâ BDSM. This can include whipping, caning, binding with ropes, dripping hot wax directly on the skin, and hundreds more forms of erotic expression, many of which you might find impossible to imagine.
âThere are universal themes, but Iâve seen things that have shocked even me, not because they were unsafe, but because they were so infinitely creative,â says Dr. Britton.
Asking to have clothespins attached to your tongue. Being mummified with plastic wrap so that youâre completely immobilized. Living as a submissive wearing a leather collar while serving a dominant partner. Yes, there are people who choose these activities â the key word being âchoose.â
âThere are two essential things to know about BDSM,â explains Britton. âIt is always voluntary, and the reason people do it is because it feels good. Thereâs something about transcending pain that can be almost a spiritual experience,â she adds. âIt releases the self from the body. Iâve had people tell me, âthe more my body is restrained, the freer I feel.ââ
Common forms of BDSM play include:
Bondage (restraint or restriction)Wax (dripping hot wax on the skin)Impact (spanking, slapping, caning, flogging)Sensation (using tools such as feathers, a paddle, burlap, on the skin)Sensory deprivation (blindfolds, earmuffs, ear plugs)The Importance of Communication, Consent, and Using Safe Words
How can having someone strike you, perhaps to the point that you cry out in pain, not be abuse? âConsent is the magic word,â says Nimbi.
âWhile mainstream sexual encounters also stress the importance of consent, consent often takes the form of an unstated, implicit assumption based on perceived behavioral displays of interest or willingness,â note University of British Columbia psychologists Cara Dunkley, PhD, and Lori A. Brotto, PhD in a 2019 paper. âThe BDSM community takes consent further, demanding explicit rather than tacit consent.â
In a dominant-submissive âscene,â for instance one in which one person is going to be flogged, itâs standard practice for the âdomâ or âtopâ and the âsubâ or âbottomâ to first negotiate at length and then contract, often in writing, what the sub is definitely willing to do, what he or she might be willing to do, and what is absolutely off-limits before they begin to âplay.â
They also must agree on a safe word or gesture that the sub can use at any time to stop the action. That means that if thereâs any potential for pain, both players are aware of the rules and of their own limits. Ironically, it also means that the sub actually has more control of the scene than the dom, since he or she defines the parameters and has the power to stop the action at any time, for any reason.
âThere is no community on the planet more committed to the concept of consent than the BDSM community,â says Valerie White, a lawyer and founder of the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, a nonprofit advocacy and education group based in Sharon, Massachusetts. âOf course, you can come across a rogue, just as you can in any group. But if anyone crosses the line, they are cast out so quickly it would make your head spin to see it.â
Common safe words include:
RedPineappleBananaPeachSafe and Risk-Aware Kink: How to Try It Safely at Home
If youâre planning on trying kink at home, experts advise going to a class, reading a book, listening to a podcast, or checking out informational videos on YouTube before trying anything other than light BDSM at home to see and learn how to engage in this type of erotic expression safely.
âYou have to learn this,â says Britton. âYou donât just go to Home Depot and buy a rope and tie your husband up. BDSM play is not random. Itâs not built on spontaneity. Itâs built on anticipating a set of behaviors that are negotiated beforehand.â
âPeople playing at home without training is dangerous,â says Gentille, who spent four years as a collared submissive at home with a dominant partner in a relationship. âYou canât, for example, just leave a person alone in a room, tied up and gagged, and expect it to go well.â
Social Etiquette and BDSM
It might sound contrary, but thereâs most definitely a code of behavior with regard to practicing BDSM properly. If youâre thinking about trying BDSM at a social gathering, often dubbed a âplay party,â which can be an informal gathering hosted by someone or an organized event, youâll need to do some prepping beforehand about the social mores. Can you touch someone elseâs toys? How do you handle consent? Can everybody play? Learning the ropes before you go will ensure that you have a good time.
The BDSM Terms You Need to Know
BDSM also has its own language to describe who takes part, how they take part, and how things work. Among common terms youâll encounter in this world are:
Bondage and disciplineDominance and submissionMale dominanceMale submissionFemale dominanceFemale submissionSadism and masochismBDSM and the Law: What You Need to Know
The legality behind BDSM is murky. Legally, for instance, you cannot consent to be tortured or assaulted. And, to the outside eye, some BDSM activities can appear to fall into that category. So, for example, if police raid a BDSM event and see activities that they object to, they can charge the participants even if there is consent. While itâs unlikely youâll encounter a problem, especially in the confines of your own home, itâs good to know the lay of the land, legally. And there are special cases â like custody battles â where people need to know how this kind of information can be used in court.
BDSM: Beyond Taboo
Of course, while BDSM is not for everyone (Britton herself identifies more as vanilla than kink), there is more and more recognition that it is 100 percent normal to fantasize about it. Whatâs more, given the reclassification of BDSM and related behaviors in the DSM-V and the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon, itâs easier than ever to explore those fantasies in real life without shame, if one desires to.
One sure sign that kink is becoming less and less taboo: The Harvard College Munch, which brings together students with interested in kinky sex, is now recognized by the university as an official campus group. (12)
âItâs very out in the culture right now, but itâs not fully out of the shadows yet,â says Gentille. âPeople are still embarrassed to talk about sex. What they discover when they dive a little deeper into it is that in BDSM you actually get to talk about what you like, what youâre curious about, and what is a definite âNo.â Itâs clear, overt, and collaborative and that can feel delightful. And if you like it, if you have control over what happens, itâs all good fun.â
Speaking BDSM: A Glossary of Terms Used to Describe BDSMCurious about BDSM? Hereâs the lowdown on the vocabulary youâll need to ask questions and learn about it.
By Julie Lynn Marks
BDSM enthusiasts have created an entire vocabulary around their lifestyle.
If youâre interested in exploring BDSM (bondage/discipline, domination/submission, sadism/masochism), youâll need to understand BDSM terms. The glossary below will make it easier for you to parse the technical terminology as well as the not-so-scientific vernacular â aka, slang â youâll need to speak BDSM.
Aftercare
When a scene is over, aftercare is the emotional and physical care thatâs administered, usually by a top. Proper aftercare may be used to prevent a drop.
Age Play
When participants take on an older or younger role.
BDSM
An umbrella term used to describe a sexual practice that involves the use of physical control, psychological power, or pain. It typically includes the components of bondage and discipline, domination and submission, or sadism or masochism.
Bondage and Discipline
A type of BDSM practice that incorporates bondage (tying, binding, or restraining someone) and discipline (punishing a submissive partner when they break a rule).
Bottom
The person in a scene who follows the orders and receives the sensations.
Breath Play
A form of play when one participant controls their breath. This may include choking or holding the breath.
Consent
Agreeing to certain acts in a BDSM scene or relationship. Practitioners believe that consent is what separates BDSM from assault.
Contract
An arrangement that outlines the rules and structures of a BDSM relationship. It may be written or oral.
Dom
A dominant role, often referring to a male.
Domina
A dominant who is female and embraces a feminine gender role â sometimes called a Domme or Dominatrix.
Dominance and Submission (D/S)
A term for the behaviors or rituals that a submissive person follows in a BDSM relationship. In D/S, one person usually has power over another.
Dominant
A person who has the authority in a BDSM relationship or scene.
Drop
The physical or emotional exhaustion that takes place after a scene. Both tops and bottoms may experience a drop. Crying, feeling sad, and physical shaking are all signs of a drop.
Dungeon
A location where BDSM play takes place (usually in a personâs home or at a club).
Dungeon Monitor
A person (or group of people) who supervises BDSM activities at a club or play party to make sure the acts are safe and consensual.
Edge Play
BDSM acts that are considered more intense or dangerous, such as breath play.
Female Dominance
When a woman takes the dominant role in a BDSM relationship or scene.
Female Submission
BDSM activity in which a woman submits to a sexual partner.
Fetish
An obsession with a specific experience, body part, or object.
Fetish Wear
The clothing worn by those who practice BDSM (usually leather attire or other role-playing costumes).
Gender Play
A type of BDSM play when an individual in a scene takes on the role of the opposite gender.
Hard Limits
An activity that a person in a BDSM relationship absolutely wonât do. A hard limit canât be negotiated.
Impact Play
A type of BDSM play that involves striking the body. This can be done with a hand, paddle, cane, whip, flogger, or other instrument.
Kink
Nonconventional sexual practices. BDSM is often referred to as kink.
Master
The person who has control over a slave in a consensual master-slave relationship.
Male Dominance
BDSM acts when the dominant partner is a man, also called maledom.
Male Submission
BDSM activities when the submissive participant is a man, also referred to as malesub.
Masochist
An individual who likes or becomes sexually gratified by their own pain or humiliation.
Munch
An informal meeting or party, often at a public place, where people interested in BDSM can mingle.
Play
A term used to describe the BDSM acts themselves.
Play Party
A social gathering where guests can engage in BDSM activity.
Pro Domme
A woman who is a professional top and dominant.
Protocol
A rule or rules that people practicing BDSM agree to follow.
Role Play
When one or more people take on a different identity during a scene. Examples may include teacher-student, doctor-patient, or boss-employee role plays.
Sadism and Masochism
This subset of BDSM involves inflicting pain or humiliation for the purpose of pleasure or sexual gratification.
Sadist
A person who enjoys or becomes sexually aroused by inflicting pain or humiliation on someone else.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)
This phrase describes what the BDSM community considers ethical behavior. Kink enthusiasts stress that activities must always be safe, sane, and consensual.
Safe Word
An agreed upon word or phrase that a bottom, sub, or slave can say during a scene to stop the activity or session immediately. Some common safe words are âred,â âred light,â âpineapple,â and âbanana.â
Soft Limits
A limit thatâs more flexible than a hard limit. It might be an act that a person is hesitant to perform but may be willing to try.
Scene
The actual BDSM activities or encounters that take place.
Slave
A person who gives up total control of one or more parts of their life to a master.
Submissive
Someone who submits to a dominant person in a BDSM relationship or scene. Submissive can be shortened to sub.
Switch
A person who sometimes plays a top and sometimes plays a bottom in a BDSM scene.
Top
The person who performs the BDSM acts in a scene.
Topping From the Bottom
When a bottom tries to control a scene even though it was agreed that the top would be in charge.
24-7s
When individuals in a relationship engage in some form of BDSM at all times (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).
Vanilla Sex Used by people in the BDSM community to label sexual behavior that doesnât involve kink.
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
A discussion of Advanced Maturity and Sexuality
By Mark Stibich, PhD. Listen to the âș podcast at How To Sex.
Many people in their 70s and 80s are not only sexually active, but satisfied with their senior sex lives.
University of Michigan Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation. Letâs talk about sex. Though the frequency or ability to perform sexually may decline with age due to physiological changes, these don't necessarily affect how a person experiences or enjoys sex.
Aging-related problems like erectile dysfunction (ED), vaginal dryness, or urinary incontinence can affect sex. But their impact can also be minimized by using medication, managing chronic conditions, seeking individual or couples counseling, and changing sexual practices.This article explores the sex lives of adults 65 and over and the problems that can interfere with sex as the body ages. It also discusses the various treatment options and ways to maintainâor even jumpstartâyour senior sex life.
Studies suggest that men are almost twice as likely as women to still have sex or masturbate in their later years. A British study found close to 60% of men ages 70 to 80 and 31% of men ages 80 to 90 are still sexually active. In women, those figures drop to 34% and 14%, respectively.
This lower rate of sexual activity in older women may be due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. Research shows that older women are less likely to have partners (due in large part to the fact that they often outlive their partners). This is sometimes referred to as "the partner gap."
It is common for men to experience sexual problems after age 40. Reasons include a natural decline in testosterone levels, heart disease, and prostate problems. The inability to achieve or sustain an erection or reach orgasm or ejaculation are common concerns.
Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual penetration and long enough to achieve orgasm.
While ED is more common in older men, aging itself does not cause the problem. ED is related to conditions, sometimes several at once, that directly or indirectly interfere with erections.
Risk factors include high blood pressure, diabetic nerve damage, smoking, obesity, Peyronie's disease, depression, and even certain medications. An accurate diagnosis is needed to ensure the right treatment.
ED drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Levitra (vardenafil), and Cialis (tadalafil) are often the first-line treatments for ED. Lifestyle changes and counseling can also help. For some men, hormonal therapy, penis pumps, and penile implants may be recommended.
Is There a Female Viagra?
Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia
Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a non-cancerous enlarged prostate and one of the most common health problems in older males.6 BPH can cause symptoms like difficulty urinating, frequent urination, or waking up in the middle of the night to urinate (nocturia).
On top of this, BPH can cause sexual problems like low libido (low sex drive) and delayed ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm).
Among the treatment options, testosterone therapy may help restore libido. There are also certain drugs used off-label that may help with delayed ejaculation, including cabergoline (originally marketed as Dostinex) and Wellbutrin (bupropion).7
Because some BPH medications can also cause sexual dysfunction, a change in the dose may help resolve these concerns.
Lifestyle Changes to Treat Erectile Dysfunction
Sexual Health Problems in Older Women
More than a third of older women experience sexual problems. These are typically due to menopause, when estrogen levels steeply decline. Hormonal changes can lessen sexual desire and make it harder to become aroused.
Sexual organs also change as a person gets older. A woman's vagina will shorten and narrow. The vaginal walls become thinner and less flexible, tearing more easily. Vaginal lubrication decreases, making vaginal intercourse more painful.
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is diagnosed when an absence of sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires causes personal distress. It is a problem that is common among many older women.
A medication known as Addyi (flibanserin) is used to treat HSDD in women. It is currently only approved for premenopausal women, but research shows that it can also improve libido in older women as well.
Risk of Low Libido After Menopause
Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness is uncomfortable and can make sex painful. Over-the-counter (OTC) remedies that can help relieve irritation and itching from vaginal dryness include lubricants such as K-Y Jelly or vaginal suppositories like Replens.
If OTC remedies donât help, your doctor may prescribe estrogen cream as well as estrogen-containing vaginal rings and vaginal suppositories.
There are also plant-based products, like black cohosh, that have estrogen-like effects. These should be used with caution in women who have had or are at risk of breast cancer.
Pain With Sex
Painful intercourse is more likely in older women as vaginal tissue tends to thin and tear easily after menopause. Standard treatments for vaginal dryness can often help ease pain during sex.
If that is not effective, prescription drugs like Osphena (ospemifene) and Intrarosa (prasterone) can treat thinning vaginal tissues and help relieve moderate to severe vaginal dryness.
Dealing With Painful Intercourse After Menopause
Pelvic Organ Prolapse
The pelvic floor muscles and tissues hold the bladder, uterus, cervix, vagina, and rectum in place. Pelvic organ prolapse (POP) occurs when the pelvic floor weakens, causing the pelvic organs to drop and bulge (prolapse) in the vagina. This can cause pelvic pain and pressure, pain with sex, and urinary incontinence.
POP is often treated with pelvic floor physical therapy to strengthen the supporting muscles. In some cases, surgery may be needed.
What Is Uterine Prolapse?
Other Health Concerns
Chronic medical conditions become more common as a person ages. Many of these can interfere with an older person's sex life.
Arthritis and Chronic Pain
Arthritis and other chronic pain conditions are common among older adults and can make sex very difficult. Depending on the cause, doctors may recommend physical therapy to strengthen muscles and improve flexibility.
Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), both over-the-counter and prescription, can be taken before sex to help ease the pain. Opioid drugs, while effective as a pain reliever, can cause a drop in testosterone and contribute to ED.
If the pain only occurs in certain sexual positions, let your partner know and try different positions. Bolstering your bodies with pillows and cushions can also help.
Best Positions for Sex With Back Pain
Diabetes
In the United States, almost one-third of adults over 65 have diabetes. Approximately half of these are undiagnosed.
Diabetes can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. This can be due to circulation problems, medication side effects, or nerve damage. Problems include:
Low libidoDifficulty with arousalErectile dysfunctionPainful intercourseReduced genital sensationUrinary tract infectionsYeast infectionsThe best way to reduce the impact of diabetes is to gain control of your blood sugar. Speak with your doctor if you have difficulty managing your blood sugar, and be sure to mention any sexual health problems you may be having. It's important for your doctor to know.
Heart Disease
Older age is the greatest risk factor for heart disease. Heart disease causes problems as arteries start to narrow and harden (referred to as atherosclerosis). This reduces blood flow throughout the body, including the pelvis and genitals, resulting in sexual dysfunction in both men and women.
Heart disease is one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction in men. It can also cause women to have difficulty achieving orgasm due to the decreased blood flow to the genitals.
There is no one way to resolve these issues, but there is evidence that statin drugs used to reduce the risk of heart disease can improve erectile dysfunction in some men.19 Some studies suggest that similar approaches may improve sexual function in women with heart disease.
People with heart disease may also be nervous about sex due to fear of a heart attack. While sexual activity is generally safe, talk to your health provider if you are concerned.
Navigating Sex After a Heart Attack
Obesity
Today, more than 40% of adults over 65 meet the definition of obesity. Research shows that women who are obese are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction than non-obese women. In addition, obesity increases the odds of erectile dysfunction in men.
These issues may be directly related to higher rates of diabetes among people who are obese as well as reduced blood circulation due to atherosclerosis.
Weight loss, achieved with a healthy diet and routine exercise, is considered the best strategy to overcome obesity. It may also improve a person's self-image and sense of well-being while making sex easier to navigate.
Urinary Incontinence
Urinary incontinence is the loss of bladder control. This becomes more common with age, especially in women.
Incontinence can be embarrassing and make sex awkward. Women who experience stress incontinence may be afraid to orgasm. Extra pressure on the abdomen during intercourse can also cause urinary leakage.
If you have incontinence, empty your bladder before sex. Changing sexual positions can help prevent urinary leakage by avoiding the compression of the bladder. Pelvic floor exercises can also help strengthen the muscles that aid with urine control.
Medications
Some medications used in older adults can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. These include:25
AntidepressantsAntihistaminesChemotherapyDiuretics ("water pills")High blood pressure medicinesOpioid painkillersIf you are having sexual difficulties, let your doctor know and advise them of any drugs you are taking, including over-the-counter, prescription, or recreational.
Lifestyle and Mental Health
Lifestyle and mental health issues can also contribute to sexual problems in older adults. These issues can be just as difficultâand sometimes even more difficultâto overcome than physical ones. If you are faced with any of these issues, there are things you can do to turn them around.
Alcohol
For some people, drinking a glass of wine helps them relax and get in the mood. However, too much alcohol can end up impairing sexual function. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, alcohol is the most-used drug among older adults, with 65% of people 65 and older reporting high-risk drinking.
Alcohol can impair a man's ability to get an erection, cause premature ejaculation, or delay orgasm. In women, too much alcohol can make it difficult to climax.
Reducing the amount you drink can help, but if you are unable to control your alcohol use, speak to your doctor about treatment options.
Depression
In the United States, between 5% and 10% of adults over 65 are estimated to be depressed. This can lead to many health concerns, including sexual dysfunction.
In people with depression, neurotransmittersâchemical messengers that send signals between the brain and bodyâare out of balance. This can affect sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm. Ironically, medications used to treat depression can have the same effects.
While the benefits of antidepressants often outweigh the risks, therapy and counseling may offer a reasonable option for those with mild depression.
Stress
Stress can be a contributing factor to sexual dysfunction. Financial worries and health concerns are just some of the common stresses affecting older adults.
To relieve stress (and the effect it has on your sex life), consider stress management techniques like mindful breathing, tai chi, yoga, and meditation. Research shows practicing mindfulness and meditation can ease the effects of stress and improve overall feelings of well-being. This alone may help improve sex.
In addition, seek professional assistance from financial advisors, health advocates, and social workers to help better deal with the other stresses in your life.
Relationship Issues
Lack of sexual intimacy is often related to relationship problems. If you are and your partner are not connecting emotionally, it can lessen your desire to be intimate.
On the flip side, studies show that older couples who engage in sexual intercourse with their partner are likely to share a closer relationship. Moreover, closeness to oneâs partner has been shown to increase overall well-being.
While this issue is not unique to older couples, many people find talking to a marriage counselor can help them work through relationship issues and rekindle sexual feelings and attraction.
Self-Image
With age can come weight gain and other body changes that may affect one's sense of physical attractiveness. Self-consciousness can spill over into the bedroom and affect a person's confidence during sex.
A 2019 study among older women found that those who were self-conscious about their bodies reported less sexual satisfaction. By contrast, those who had greater self-acceptance of their bodies irrespective of weight or aging-related changes had a more satisfying sex life.
Self-acceptance is ultimately the key. Working with a therapist, either alone or as a couple, can help you discuss your feelings openly and find a way to embrace a more positive self-image.
How to Maintain a Healthy Sex Life
The benefits of maintaining your sex life as you age are physical and emotional. Being sexually active is associated with a lower risk of medical conditions and a longer life. It's also associated with a greater sense of happiness and overall well-being.
If your sex life has become stagnant and you'd like to rev it back up, here are a few things you can do.
Communicate
Good sex begins with good communication. Couples who have been together a long time often think they know what the other is thinking. But no one is a mind reader.
Talk to your partner about any concerns you have. You may feel as though your mate is no longer attracted to you because sex has become infrequent, when in fact they are experiencing a decline in sexual interest.
In addition, as sex organs change with age, what felt good before may no longer feel good or may even be painful. Be open with your partner about these changes.
Communicating about sex can be challenging at any age, however. If you and your partner struggle to talk about sex, consider seeing a sex therapist.
Redefine Sex
Sex, as you get older, may need to change. But different can still be good, if not better. With an empty nest and possibly retirement, thereâs more time and privacy to explore.
Research shows older adults have a broader definition of sexual activity than younger adults. In other words, they better understand that there is more to sex than just intercourse. Foreplay on its own can be quite satisfying.
Be creative and willing to try new things.
Rethink Intimacy
Sex isn't just physical. Itâs an emotional expression of intimacy. As you grow older, sexual intimacy changes. What this means to you and your partner may need to be redefined.
Emotional intimacy can be expressed through non-sexual physical touch. Examples of non-sexual physical touch include:
Back rubsCuddlingHolding handsHuggingPlacing your hand on your partner's shoulder or armPlayful nudgesSitting next to each otherTouching feet under the tableAnother non-sexual way to build emotional intimacy is spending quality time together. Things you can do:
Go out on dates with other couples.Look through old photos and reminisce.Play cards, board games, or word games.Read aloud to each other.Play music together.Travel, explore new places.Visit with friends or family.Just Do It
Instead of waiting for the desire to strike, experts recommend that older adults just go for it. This is because sex has physical and emotional benefits. Orgasms release oxytocin, a hormone that induces a state of calm and improves sleep.
Even if youâre not in the mood, having sex can set the stage for more sex in the future. This is especially true for women. Having sex regularly helps increase natural lubrication and vaginal elasticity. It may also improve erections in men.
Summary
Older age can lead to sexual problems in different ways. Age alone increases the risk of erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, low libido, vaginal dryness, and pelvic organ prolapse. Medical conditions like arthritis, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and incontinence can also directly or indirectly interfere with sex.
Lifestyle and emotional issues that can impair sexual function in all ages can become even more profound in adults 65 years and older. These include stress, depression, negative self-image, relationship problems, and alcohol abuse.
By working with a doctor or therapist, you can overcome many of these concerns and improve not only your quality of life but your sex life as well. Keeping open lines of communication and embracing change as a natural part of life can also help keep your sex life fresh as you approach your later years.
By Mark Stibich, PhD for Very Well Health
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
Weird Hormones and suppressed fetishes can make expecting, a delight.
By various parents. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.
A young and frisky married couple is contemplating having a baby. Theyâre seeking advice on lots of things, but the question that came to us is;
âWhat is sex like, during pregnancy and after?
Some details are straight-forward and answers are easy. Like;
Itâs rare for an obstetrician to recommend any limits on sexual intercourse, and in those rare situations, Couples can utilize their other means of sexually satisfying each otherâs cravings.
What a medical professional canât tell you, is how your morning sickness and late term discomfort will take a toll on your libido. And then there are other hang-ups, like knowing your child is fractions of an inch from where daddyâs parts are rubbing mommyâs parts.
Pregnancy does amazing things to a womanâs complexion, and bustline. That usually draws her manâs attention. But the last weeks of pregnancy have common discomforts. But after delivery, her vagina needs a break for about 6 weeks. Couples sometimes have to put effort into getting back in the grove of sexual intimacy, only this time a baby can interrupt anything.
So itâs especially important to have great sex before a seasonal post-partum drought hits your sex life.
Well, weâre going to give you lots of perspectives, for couples whoâve been through this unique phase. Enjoy! Hereâs what some experienced folks said;
First trimester it sucked. I was chronically sick, didnât feel sexy, couldnât orgasm , it was horrible. Second trimester a switch flipped , my vagina became engorged with blood , I feel tighter , hornier , wetter. I want my man now. Iâm just blessed I have a homey who goes through this crazy cycle with me because now it feels so good and I canât get enough of him but the first trimester sucked
InternalLevel
Fun. It forced my wife and me to explore a lot of new positions and techniques. I also got a lot better at oral because toward the end of pregnancy that was the easiest way for her to have an orgasm due to being limited to only a few positions.
Adventurous_Mind
With my first pregnancy it was great. I wanted to do it a lot of the time and could climax with just penetration what until that point had never happened before. Eventually, by week 34, PGP kicked in and there was nothing until 6-8 weeks after my c-section.
My third pregnancy was the opposite, I had severe morning sickness/nausea till week 15-16, then hardly had any sex drive till week 25 when I had a persistant pelvic pain and it was physically impossible to do it anymore. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex between finding out I was pregnant at 3 weeks gestation till 20 weeks after my c-section.
Complete Honesty
When my woman was pregnant - it was top tier sex. I Would recommend, if youâre partner is down for it!
Raven heart
I was in the mood all the time with all 5 of my pregnancies. The drawback is, after I had each one; my libido went on an extended vacation for a years or so, so Iâd have to fake it, fake interest, fake the orgasms, all of it.
Then with pregnancies 4 and 5, each orgasm would cause my uterus to contract, even at 6 weeks pregnant it happened, making me not really want the orgasms. Odd shit
boys mom
I was in Japan for much of the pregnancy of our first son. I was home for our 2nd sonâs pregnancy. I think I'd rather have been back in Japan! The wifey was insatiable! Monday thru Friday, at 5am, wham bam thank you ma'am!
5 Pm, wham bam thank you ma'am. On the weekends, it was thrice per day. Same with our third, a baby girl!
done good
I Dunno. I guess I was too gross for my hubby to even want it. He never tried. But the do-it-yourself release was epic.
Automatic_Plant
It was Tiring when she got a high sex drive spell. Oh, God! She had a honey spell for a whole week. I was right tired all week
Prairie Chocolate
Didnât have it, husband stayed the fuck away from me, we only did it a few times during pregnancy and it was awful, especially at the end when trying to go into labor, I felt like a beached whale
Creep in cupcake
Best sex of our marriage, her sex drive finally matched mine, she gets a little thicker, her breast are engorged and plump, and I could leave it in and fall asleep. Its probably why we had 4 kids, now that I think about it.
Definition Primary
Once I hit the second trimester, I was a total horn dog!
Plenty_Trouble
Pretty bad honestly. We tried once or twice but I had this mental block that I could hurt her or the baby, even though I know it's very unlikely. Some people have a pregnancy fetish or aren't bothered by it at all; but I'm not one of those people. Made me feel super guilty whenever my wife was horny.
neil
Some of the best sex Iâve had. The only time Iâve ever gushed.
spagooter and mash
My wife and I were going at it constantly, almost every day!
Anonymous
My libido is a little higher. Although during the later months of pregnancy some positions are off the table.
Boog Tot
You can nut in her as much as you want!
Fire
Much, much better until that last trimester. Then it was a struggle, uncomfortable, and orgasms gave me terrible Braxton hicks. But yeah, for those first two trimesters; cannot get enough.
almost always except
Wife is pregnant with twins. She's more horny than she's ever been. Amazing sex!
mario z
It Depends.
With the First pregnancy, first trimester sucked, second one was great, third, I was horny as hell but sex hurt so bad. So I basically kept dragging my husband into the bedroom, convincing him I would be ok, and then regretting it once we started .
With the Second pregnancy, first trimester was ok, but second and third were phenomenal. I dunno what happened, but all the stars aligned and my libido was only beaten by my newfound sensitivity. Husband had a blast too.
Goose G
Unfortunately, almost non-existent with my partner. Lots of masturbation
One Curious Yogi
The positions were hard but it honestly feels so much better after I got pregnant and had the baby.
Couldn't understand what the hype was about before.
Not that it didn't feel good before either, just wasn't nearly as good as it is now.
Flat worm
Absolutely best! She had this extra blood flow down there and as a result all the labia and all that were way more puffy than usual. The sensation was phenomenal!
mg macius
Non existent. He refused to do it.
And then would lay next to me when he thought I was asleep and jerk off.
I was so huge I couldn't even touch myself so I was just miserable both pregnancies.
Chemical_Reality
My wife is always really shy and would tell me the next day that she wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night and make love. I kept saying âwhy didnât you?â
mighty jor
It was great, and I swear having sex like every day, or every other day throughout the pregnancy, is what kept me from having any tearing when I gave birth both times.
Until the last two weeks before I gave birth, then it got super painful so we had to stop then. But otherwise itâs wonderful. I also was not a squirter before I ever got pregnant. And then after I got pregnant with my first baby, I started squirting and Iâm thankful that was something that stuck around after the pregnancy.
Capital_Search
I loved it. I already like curvy women which my wife is. So all the extra curves that come with pregnancy, drove me wild. Super sweet as well.
norml enough
I considered myself to have a higher-than-average sex drive prior to pregnancy, so my husband and I were curious just how horny Iâd be once I was pregnant given what Iâd heard from other women.
Turns out: not horny at all. Libido went back to baseline within a month postpartum, thank god, but I had less than no interest in sex during pregnancy. My husband also thought my pregnant body was super sexy, so that was a pretty big bummer for him
c dubs b
During my wife's first pregnancy, I wanted nothing to do with it once she got a bigger belly, not because she wasn't attractive, more just fear. She basically had to pin me down a few times and beg me to do it.
tim 28
I always felt like I had to pee. Even if I just peed. Itâs like my bladder was being squeezed from both sides. Honestly not ideal.
Human 420
From a manâs perspective; it was weird, but for some reason my woman was 10 times more beautiful when she was pregnant, almost like her skin had a certain glow, hard to explain.
I was very happy about becoming a father, but regarding sex; I wasn't exactly thrilled all the time, when she wanted it.
But with her hormones going amok i didn't mind too much, plus getting her to the point of orgasm was a lot easier when she wasn't pregnant. I barely had to do anything.
Well Okay
I was super horny during my third pregnancy. Around month 3-4 we were going at it and I started bleeding. After a call into the doc she said get to the er and get checked out. They did an internal ultrasound and it took forever to find the heartbeat. We thought weâd lost the baby. It traumatized my husband a lot. They found the heartbeat thankfully and all was well, but we had to take a break from sex for a while.
Once I was given the all clear to go ahead again by my doctor, husband didnât want to have sex at all during pregnancy. The final 5 months of pregnancy and the 6-8 weeks after, waiting for my post-partum check-up and birth control to kick in was fucking torture for me.
It took a year and a half after she was born to get our sex routine back to normal.
Paranormal_Shithole
Yea, my wife was super horny all the time. While it was awesome, it actually almost broke my penis. I had to ask my Commanding Officer if we were going to the field anytime soon, so I could give my Peter a rest.
I was gone two weeks for field exercises, (Iâm a Marine) worst mistake of my life.
She jumped my bones not even 10 secs into getting home from 2 weeks out in the desert of California. I had to wrestle her off me so I could at least go shower first. She joined me in the shower.
Then I didn't get any electrolytes for the next 6 hrs. My tummy was rumbling, and she didn't care. I swear by the next morning I looked like a corpse.
Donât let a heavy pregnant woman ride cowgirl at high-speed, bucking bronco fury! One slip on the drop and Peter goes to E R.
Papa Marine
It varied each pregnancy. We had amazing ones with lots of orgasms.
And one pregnancy where it hurt literally so bad that we had to stop doing it all together, for like 4 months in a row!
Oh, and in the end, I had one position; the âstranded whaleâ position. Ya know, where youâre so big you canât do any positions other than looking like a stranded whale!
Bubbly-Butterfly
My ex-wife was not interested in sex while pregnant with both of our kids.
After a while she just wasnât into sex at all; So maybe it wasnât the pregnancyâs fault?
I think I could count the times we had pregnant sex on one hand. I took care of myself a lot during that time.
Iâm not trying to get anyone else pregnant, these days
flock-of-bagels
I ended up with an even higher sex drive than usual. Amazing until I got to 36 weeks; and then overnight, everything got so uncomfortable, it became a complete impossibility to have penatrative sex.
Key-Statistician
First pregnancy my wife was super horny and I wasn't really. Second pregnancy was the opposite.
Sad story.
francesco
Iâm currently 7 months along. In my 1st trimester, I didnât want much sex because of the nausea.
But from roughly 14 weeks or so to the present, I crave my hubby constantly. The sex is amazing!
I happen to want it more in the middle of the night, or mornings, or both!
Hubby had to set a time limit of acceptable times to wake him up during the night though; so he is able to go back to sleep before work. Which I respect .
Palpitation Future
My wife was a sex maniac. Plus, I didn't have to pull out before the blast of jizz. Best 9 months of my life!
ian j
At 39 weeks, I miss sex but I have no drive, which is just as well because the last time we did (like, a month or two ago), it was so uncomfortable I couldn't get there. And I'm even more swollen and sore now.
I can't wait for this to be over, I keep telling the baby, "Get out!"
lynn
It was amazing. Preggo boobs are the best! Pregnancy with my girlfriend enhanced our sex life. Her hormones were all fucked up so she wanted it a lot and I was thinking; âHey, I don't have to pull out anymore.â Life was good.
Mortico
With my first pregnancy, sex was great. The hormones made everything more intense and certain positions worked easily until quite late in the pregnancy.
I was hoping to repeat the experience in my second pregnancy; but having a toddler to care for while growing a second one, made me so tired that my husband barely ever saw me awake after the first kid fell asleep.
I don't have many memories from my third pregnancy, to be honest.
jan in am
For some reason my wife wanted it all the time while pregnant. I think more for âIâm still sexy validation than anything.â
Another thing, sex was fine but her cunt had a different smell, not bad but different. Sorta like I had a âfill-inâ sex kitten.
bemest
We're about 6 months along at this point, and my husband hasn't been able to even contemplate sex since we found out. He's a bit over-protective of the fetus. He doesn't like it when I poke my belly because the baby mightn't like that. I'll occassionally admit to him I'm sexually frustrated, and he agrees he is a bit, too. But he just can't. He explains he knows everyone says it's safe, but what if? Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to the baby because of sex? Just not worth it.
HaveFetusNotSex
My wife is pregnant right now. The sex is great other than dodging the baby bump.
Most men find their wife to be just as, or even more beautiful when they are pregnant.
Plus itâs always amazing to not have to, ah, pull out.
Boose
Sucks, to be honest. My orgasms caused immense pain, Braxton Hicks and a very hard stomach from a very angry baby in my uterus.
Worst thing is, I'm so fucking horny all the time, but I have no interest in dealing with all the suffering during and afterwards.
It's hard to find an angle that doesn't hurt, and the gunk that comes out over the next few days is absolutely disgusting and worrisome.
Plus, Iâm too heavy and bulky. I can't find the right position. I get tired and sore too quickly.
Pristine Princess
My wife was super horny up until 3rd trimester.
5 stars, Product surpassed expectations, service was amazing, and she came faster than expected! Yes, I would reorder, and recommend to others!
Maleficent-Lion
I think we actually triggered labor. I was full term, as it all started about 6 hours post coitus.
I'm sure I read somewhere that women who have had frequent orgasms while pregnant, tend to have more efficient labors, as it gives the uterus a bit of a contraction workout. Not to mention the strengthening of your pelvic floor muscles, to help with labor and the recovery.
Anonymous
Iâm the guy, and my girlfriend is preggers with #2.
Man! Her fucking is absolutely amazing. Her cunt has always been wet, don't get me wrong; but as I'm fucking her now. She will literally spurt her female juices all over me, and the bed. Her orgasms are so much more intense.
2Leauxkey
I had zero interest in sex while pregnant. My body honestly didnât feel like my own, and being pregnant felt terrible for 99% of the pregnancy.
We did it when I was trying to naturally induce labor, but it felt kinda like a chore. My man also felt a little weird about poking baby even though he knows itâs irrational. So neither of us were really revving to go.
hopefully romantic
With my ex-wife, after the morning sickness passed, we were in the bedroom the moment that I got home from work everyday. Into the 3rd trimester, I couldnât keep her off of me. Although, I did have to switch my deodorant, because it was making her nauseous.
Sadly, we split up. Now sheâs with another guy and in her 2nd pregnancy.
She told me that the guy sheâs with wonât touch her. He called her fat and ugly. His loss, I guess.
Rude_Device
My husband just hates preggo sex. it was HELL on us for our first baby. I was ravingly hormonal and my sex drive was insane. and he basically ran and hid whenever he knew i was in the mood, or turned me down. I was distraught a lot.
He never could really explain it; muttered stuff like he didnât like the belly in the way, or he was not attracted to the shape, or I was heavy.
He admitted that even though he knew it was safe, it was just too weird for him.
I think stress kills his sex drive and he was stressed about becoming a dad in his own nonverbal way. He also flipped out if i mentioned my cervix hurt, or if I had a tiny bit of cervical bleeding from sex, which is normal and not harmful. Despite that we did do it at least once or twice a month, though it was more him grudgingly doing it at my behest, to avoid a fallout.
I was pretty much livid with him all the time and took the whole no sex thing personally, and we fought all the time, mainly with that being the underlying issue.
I was worried it was going to last past pregnancy and that he wouldnât be able to connect with me as a mother and wife; or worse, not connect with his child.
Anyway, after baby was born, all that stuff didnât happen, and we got back to having sex 2 weeks after baby was born, and it was good. I had no tears or other trauma, and I pretty much recovered early.
Good luck, if your man has hang-ups like mine did. Maybe buy vibrators and other toys, and tell him about your sexual arousal without him. Show him the monster life-like dildo that fucks your cunt and ask him if his lovely cock is more dangerous than the monster rubber dildo youâve been slamming into your cunt every afternoon.
dionysian
It almost killed me.
From about three months ,along right up until our daughter was born, my wife was ravenous. Morning and night, weekend nooners, she could not get enough.
It took all of my strength and will, to barely keep up. I seriously wondered sometimes if I was going to survive it.
Five stars and would recommend! I would choose death by cowgirl, all over again.
punks mostly dead
During my first pregnancy, we both were worried it could cause a miscarriage or premature labor. Where we came up with that notion I canât remember. We did have sex but it was slower and not as often.
The second time around the pregnancy was high risk and I was sick all during the first trimester, so we didnât have sex at all, in those weeks.
But by the second trimester I was insatiable. I was never really uncomfortable because we tried different positions and improved our rhythms to make it pleasurable for both of us.
Anonymous
My wife is just in her 1st trimester with our 1st baby. We have had sex once in the past month. She's pretty nauseous, but I am crossing my fingers that once she feels better, she might be more interested.
I always hoped she would be a horny pregnant person, and not an uncomfortable pregnant person.
Mood Shoes
Pregnancy sex was the absolute best sex ever, during my first pregnancy.
My second pregnancy, I was pregnant with twins and threw up nonstop for 34 weeks. I was definitely not feeling the heat that pregnancy.
orange star
It was bad. I always felt like I was making my baby have sex.
Zarphod
My âexâ refused to have sex with me when I was pregnant.
up your bum chum
The Mrs. completely turned off sex. I think we only did it twice the entire pregnancy.
crush_gold
I Don't know if you worry about this as well, but my husband's distaste for pregnancy really kind of kept him from doing anything like even rubbing my belly, feeling kicks, spooning with me while holding my belly. He didnt even like me spooning him with my belly pressed to him, talking to baby thru my belly, or any of those gushy things i really HOPED for him to do.
Basically I freaked out that if he couldn't connect to baby while I was pregnant he would not be able to connect when she was there, or be there for me in labor.
Luckily he was a fabulous labor partner, and was a true rock for me for the 24 hours of my misery, and he was the best daddy ever! From the start, he and our daughter are inseparable and itâs ridiculous how devoted he is to her.
dionysian
With my ex it was great! she was constantly in the mood, anytime we werenât working, we were in our apartment having sex in every room.
In my new marriage, we didnât really have frequent sex before this pregnancy; and now during it, sex went down even further so.
tay wil
It was like my genitals turned off. They just didn't get aroused, didn't respond to touch; nothing.
I was worried I'd lost the ability to orgasm forever. Thankfully, it did come back, a few months after giving birth.
High Fives For Dayz
Sexy and amazing.
A lot of incredible anal stuff that she initiated, and so many her-initiated two-a-days.
Very happy penis, very happy testicles, and a very happy wife.
Daniel In frangible
Fucking amazing. Iâm stunned I didnât get pregnant again during the pregnancies. Iâm preggo now, and despite the morning sickness itâs great.
Also zero worries about pulling out or condoms.
My only gripe is I donât think I look as good, Iâm plump and my face has gone dark this time. But well, I donât have to look at me and my partner looks as good as ever.
Also sex after the birth (after all the bleeding is over), is pretty good too. I havenât asked my current man how he feels about the changes because he is a bit reserved about discussing sexual topics. My ex-husband though, felt preggo sex was the best, both with me and his current wife.
The dude just had to tell me.
One more thing, ladies, if youâre making your guy wait weeks before fucking (post-partum), you can still use your hands and mouth to keep him content and attentive.
And he can find creative ways to pleasure you, too.
Technical_Image
Me and my ex were expecting a baby boy in July 2021. She was a quite different animal when it came to sex. She wanted to do it every minute of the day, and I kept up with her for the most part.
But after she had our baby, she wanted it more than I could handle. Somewhere down the line she lost feelings and we broke up.
But yeah that's how it was when she was pregnant. Latinas be tripping!
deadly scone
Thereâs three moods during pregnancy for me:
· Horny
· Hungry
· Exhausted
Anonymous
When my wife was told in the 9th month; that sex and orgasms were a sure fire way to get induce labor, I couldnât keep her off of me. It was wonderful. A little extra discharge but nothing gross.
Magickal Fuck Frog
I remember my wifeâs Obstetrician was always insisting we have sex. She said something about it being good for the pregnancy. But we never did. Canât do sex in front of a kid, you know.
Anonymous
Both times I was pregnant, I became unable to orgasm around the second trimester, and that lasted through weaning.
Sex was still enjoyable, but my drive was also way down.
Oh, and first trimester I was too pukey for sex anyhow.
When my drive came back, though, it came back with a vengeance.
sane dragon
My ex-wife loved it. Her orgasms were multiple as well.
But fucking was limited to cowgirl or from the side.
It was nice, knowing that there's no more trying for a kid.
unbiased asian
My husband had a real pregnancy fetish; that is, until I got pregnant .
I guess he loved the glow of a pregnant woman, and the thought of sex with a pregnant woman, but he didn't really enjoy it when the time came.
He was creeped out by his baby being right there. For both pregnancies, once I started really showing, we pretty much stopped having sex.
Stunning_Attention
I loved it, & would recommend lotsa great sex, if you plan on having children.
Oh, and itâs just so care-free! We went from that phase of being careful trying to prevent pregnancy. Then to that phase where we had a task to accomplish and sex started feeling like a mandate.
But pregnancy sex with a glowing hot wife carrying your child and loving on your cock twice as often, after the nausea stage ends.
Neighborhood No
My ex-wife tried to break me every day for the last six months.
Independent Ok
Golly. After my 1st trimester, when I could actually hold down water and food, I was horny as hell. All I wanted was spicy food, and spicy bedroom action.
fresh_momma
After the first trimester, it was amazing. My wife felt sexy (which she was!), with the raging hormones and it made the whole experience great
silver fire
I Got lightly sprayed with breast milk during the latter stages. Hormones be cray!
Imaginary_Moose
So good! And I swear it kept me from going past my due date. We had sex within hours of my water breaking for both of my babies.
Print Own
From a manâs perspective, it was great. The hormones she was releasing (is that called pheromones?) it made me go primal. Iâve never been hornier and have wanted her as much as I did when she was pregnant.
that_bearded_guy
My guy was reluctant, so I told him that after the baby is born he'll be lucky if he gets laid once a month, if at all, so he better get it while he can.
Besides, do you have to have intercourse? Does he think oral is dangerous too? Do something sexual together, so you can stay connected.
Merrickan Girl
My wifeâs last trimester for our third/last baby girl, she was down-right forcing me at times to make daily deposits every morning before I left for work.
She was so serious, she wanted that baby out yesterday. At least thatâs the urgent reason she always gave me!
Anonymous
It was nice during first pregnancy. Second pregnancy, it was good up until 3rd trimester.
Lightning crotch made it so that if we did have sex, any movement would be severely painful for the next 2-3 days.
Wut Smith is This
Sex was Frequent. My wife was prego with twins and weâd have sex a lot more than when we didnât have kids. There werenât much options for positions though.
Poor boy was wedged into her pelvis. Luckily my dicks not long, or he would have came out with black eyes.
Health Ok
Sex was great. Pregnancy hormones sure did a number on me. I was horny 24 7, and we stayed sexually active daily until the day before labor, with both kids.
Ok-Preparation
God I miss those days. Makes me want to knock her up again.
Big Thisty Beast
Nothing to brag about during the pregnancy. I had early complications, so no intercourse. Just stimulation is aggravating for 20 weeks.
But the first time after that post 6 week appointment. I needed a bottle of wine, first ;cause I was not prepared at all. But I NEEDED that dick.
We both finished, and he was so happy and out of breath. I just started sobbing so bad. Crying like a crocodile because it was so good after like a year of blah.
Tears of joy. Such a weird experience. Fucking hormones.
rosebud
Male here, and I loved it . Her tits were big and full, and she had a really healthy âglowâ to her.
Best of all there was no worries about getting her pregnant any more. No rubbers or birth control of any kind; just all out natural sex . Wonderful!
Dead Red
Perfect!
My Husband was super super into it, and made me feel so sexy! Even though it was obvious I was huge.
Perfect.
Beatrix Kidd
Pretty crazy. Some ,then none, then more than I could take.
In the last month she was insatiable.
Afterwards it was quite a few months before she resumed.
planet 1
My wife was huge and beautiful and I could not keep my hands off her.
spokey man
I was on an antidepressant called Venlafaxine, the year before getting pregnant, and was unable to have orgasms because of it.
Six months after no longer taking it, I still couldn't enjoy sex.
I somehow still became pregnant and all of a sudden I could feel again. So it was quite lovely.
I had lots of catching up to do.
Holub
Been a long time for me but my wife was always craving it and the further along she got, the wilder it was.
She even wanted it as she began labor, before going to the hospital.
The nurses were laughing because she didnât get âcleaned upâ time before getting to the hospital.
I was absolutely delighted every time she told me she was pregnant, cause well you can guess.
Mental-Pitch
It was great! I was a lot more confident about my body, actually.
I generally really enjoyed it.
Itâs after the baby is born that itâs not so great, due to delivery recovery, and hormones, and a kid cock-blocking all the time.
Educational_Boot
Fucking awesome!
With kid #5 I was a sex slave for nearly the whole time.
She was always so hot so we kept the window open during the winter. It was the coldest winter in decades where we live.
I never thought I would enjoy freezing my ass of so much. She was ravenous; at all hours.
nuclear_pickle
I was reluctant to do it. I Found my wife really attractive while she was pregnant, but I was genuinely worried about hitting the baby with my cock; despite it being scientifically impossible.
Mysterious
It was weird. Not bad weird but the body does some crazy things. The bigger I got, the more I could feel my uterus contracting after an orgasm. It was unsettling until I called my OB and was like âExcuse me but what the fuckâ or something like that. She told me it was normal and not to worry. Stay hydrated and it wonât be as noticeable.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was so desperate to get my daughter out. Semen can start the dilation process, so sex was just a way to evacuate her from the hot tub party that was my uterus.
G_Ram
My wife and I remember this fondly.
Her hormones were absolutely raging and she was horny pretty much all the time. I've never had more sex than when my wife was pregnant. She was insatiable and wetter than I've ever seen her.
We had to do this sideways maneuver when she got way pregnant because she couldn't breathe if she was on her back and obviously she couldn't lay on her stomach. But it worked for us.
Then you can't do it for at least 6 weeks after your kid is born and you go into sex withdrawal. And my wife had postpartum pretty severely, so it was even longer after that.
Cosmic Pope
Iâm Currently pregnant. My hormones are raging and I feel like I'm constantly pulling my partner in the bedroom.
Physically & emotionally, the hormones are going on all circuitry, so I'm loving it.
Running_zombie_
I absolutely loved it. She was so physically, hormonally and emotionally into it that the sex itself was great.
Plus, a pregnant woman is just a beautiful thing, like a damn sunset. So, all around, five stars
Edith Whart
Awesome. She was horned up all the time. She would wake me up in the middle of the night, ride me like a Harley, and then weâd have a midnight snack.
Stupid Old
My doctor encouraged us! It's great stress relief, because being pregnant wasn't easy (at least for me). I was pretty much assured it was pretty darn impossible to harm the fetus with sex. Also, it works pretty great to bring on labor when you're 5 days overdue. So if the doc is telling me to have sex when I'm 10 months preggers, I'm pretty sure it was okay at 6 months.
My sex life didn't ramp up during pregnancy; it definitely slowed down, but we still were pretty regular! And yes, you need to let your body heal after having the baby (6-8 weeks is generally the recommendation) but we got back on track after week 6 (and I had a C-Section).
The only difference is, now there is a kid in the mix so trying to find the time is so much harder (and can be frustrating when you're planning on some exciting festivities and about 5 mins in, a little someone decides to wake up early and scream until picked up). To solve this, we now plan for sex (sounds so unromantic but it really isn't).
We try for at least one night a week (kiddo now sleeps 12 hours and has since 3 months - he's 9 months now) where we spend the entire evening on each other. Any other chances we get during the week are bonus - showers, early morning quickies, etc.
Have faith! And seriously, if your man rejects your advances, citing fears about the baby, have a real professional talk to your husband about his fears - they are totally unfounded and it would be interested to see where he has formed them.
Sofiira
The truth is that I was never much in the mood when she was pregnant. Not because she was about twice as big as usual, but because she was a fucking bitch for nine months, not that I can blame her.
nalf
This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps. -
Fred Requests a woman's point of view to help him understand. Then Maye weighs in with good memories and advice.
By BOSTON FICTION WRITER & MayhemLass Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Fredâs QuestionDear BFW;
I've never tried anal sex before. It never appealed to me. Actually, I never have given it much thought until I perused the anal sex category here at Literotica and found it so popular.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I have never even had sex doggie style either. Yes, I realize that doggie style sex is an overwhelming favorite for hordes of people but not for me. It is not that I did not try having sex doggie style, it just did not work for me; my cock did not reach far enough for me to feel like I was fucking her. I mean, really fucking her. Okay, it reached but it would not go in far enough for me to feel that feeling of deep and satisfying penetration. It felt weird. I mean, I do not have a small cock. My cock is a little bigger than average at 7". Yeah, she seemed to enjoy it, but I was not receiving the same feeling that I receive when doing it missionary style and being able to really pound her.
"Sorry, Honey, scoot down so that your head doesn't bang the wall."
Moreover, although all the women who I have ever been with were clean, having just showered, shaved, douched, and flossed, whenever I tried having sex with them doggie style, I always received an aroma of excrement, which is a total turn off. I mean, I really do not want to smell shit when I am boning someone, and I am not even having sex with them anally; I am just trying to do it doggie style. Yet, when you start pounding away, pumping your pelvic area against her hips, you are going to get a whiff of poopies. And even if she is the most beautiful chick, that is gross.
"Geez, Beyonce, what the Hell did you eat last night? You smell like a 3-day-old Taco Bell."
I remember growing up and that was one of the worse ranks you could say to someone about their mother.
"Shut up Carl! Your mother takes it up the ass."
Way worse than saying that your mother wears combat boots, taking a cock up the ass was a big insult. That is, until a Greek kid moved into the neighborhood and we were playing; and then we started arguing over something stupid and one kid said to the Greek kid.
"You mother takes it up the ass."
The Greek kid, Nick, I think his name was, shrugged and walked away because, apparently, she did take it up the ass. He probably thought the kid was complimenting his mother instead of insulting her.
I remember that movie back in the late '70's, Midnight Express with Billy Hayes. He played a college student who went through Turkey hoping to score some drugs, Hashish, and deliver them back to the United States, only he was caught. Boy, those Turks fucked everybody up the ass; it did not matter if you were a man or a woman. What did he call Turkey, a country of pigs? Anyway, any time you dropped anything in that country, you were best just to walk away from it and pretend that it was not yours rather than to bend over and pick it up only to find a Turkish cock up your ass.
"Fred, Is that your money clip?"
"Hasad, I don't know who that money clip belongs to but it is not mine."
"It has your name engraved on it, Fred."
"Hey, Hasad, do you think that I am the only person in Turkey named Freddie?"
"Yes."
"Okay Hasad, then, kick it over here and I'll lie on the ground with my ass to the pavement to pick it up."
Anyway, call me ignorant and I am sure that I will piss off a lot of people who are into anal sex but I always thought of anal sex as a gay thing or as a Greek thing and never as a another choice selection to my sexual menu.
"Honey, can I fuck you up the ass tonight?"
"Gee, Sweetie, wouldn't you rather have a blow job?"
"Okay, Honey."
Now that I think of it, that movie with Burt Reynolds, Deliverance, I can hear the banjo music, now, showed those mountain men fucking anything that moved up the ass.
"Look, Darryl, a deer. Shoot it."
"Nah, let's track it and catch it. Then, we'll fuck it up the ass before we kill it and bring the meat home to Maw."
Oh, and that scene in Quentin Tarantino's, Pulp Fiction where that shopkeeper takes the black dude down the cellar and he calls his friend, a cop, and they are both ready to bone this poor guy up the ass until Butch Coolidge, Bruce Willis, saved his ass with a Samari's sword. Man that was a violent movie. I betcha when Vincent Vega, John Travolta, emerged from the bathroom after taking a shit, he would have preferred taking it up the ass instead of being blown away with that sawed off shotgun by Butch. They just don't make good family movies like that anymore (lol).
Actually, don't the Eskimos like anal sex? Still, they have a reason; it is fucking cold in those igloos. Who wants to take off your clothes to have sex when it is so cold that the penguins are trying to get in bed with you to keep warm? This way, the Eskimo women just inch down their seal line pajama bottoms and bang go, you are getting off. How they rub noses while having anal sex is something that I'd like to see, well...maybe not.
Presently, sex to me includes intercourse, of course, oral sex, and foreplay. I can see Bubba in prison chomping at the bit not being able to wait until he can get a good behavior pass to go out of his jail cell and to use the computer in the library so that he can write me a nasty comment to this story. Yet, you know, Bubba, if you hadn't been a criminal and dumb enough to have been caught and have your sorry ass thrown in jail, then you would not have to be boning some other convict up the ass while sniffing their poopies. Matter of fact, once you are a free man and out on the street, you cannot tell me that you would rather bone a hussy up the ass instead of fucking them missionary style.
I asked my girlfriend if she ever had anal sex and she said that she had it once and did not care for it. Then, I asked my sister-in-law (I have to be careful writing about my sister-in-law otherwise this piece can easily become an incest, okay taboo piece, rather than an anal piece) if she had anal sex and she said that she had. My sister-in-law was the one who wanted me to have sex doggie style with her. She liked doing it doggie style but I could not satisfy her that way. Hey, call me old fashioned. To me, fucking someone up the ass is just sex and not making love. I'd rather face the woman when I am making love to her; so that I can kiss her and suck her tits. Maybe, that's it. I'm a tit man rather than an ass man and it's rather hard trying to suck nipples when they are way on the other side while you have your cock behind her instead of in front of her where God intended Adam to bone Eve.
"Freddie, you're hurting me and stretching my tits all out of shape trying to pull them back to suck them while you are fucking me up the ass."
Now, all the religious freaks will be coming out of the woodwork to make nasty comments to this story. Hey, if you zealots are so full of religion then you shouldn't be doing anal sex anyway. Doesn't the Bible tell you that the only time you people are suppose to have sex is when you are making babies?
"Honey, can I have sex with you, tonight?"
"I'm sorry, Jacob, but I am already pregnant. Give me 9 months and we'll have sex again, then."
Yeah, try telling that to Moses. He had like 100 kids. He must have thought he was a Mormon instead of a Jew and it was okay to have more than one wife. Can you just see Mrs. Moses, now?
"Hey, Moses. Why don't you bone me up the ass once in a while instead of fucking me missionary style? I'm tired of having all these kids and with you going up to the mountaintop waiting for Jesus to talk to you and not being around to help change diapers. Moses! Where are you going with all those animals? It's raining."
Okay, for a brief period, 4 years, I was in the swinging lifestyle and I took an unofficial survey of the women who I partied with (they call it party with instead of saying had sex with) and everyone one of them said that she has had anal sex. Yet, I did not find one woman who preferred anal sex to penis to vagina intercourse. Now, that's an interesting discovery, don't you think? Allow me to repeat that. There was not one woman who would rather have anal sex to having regular penis to vagina intercourse, not one.
"You look lovely tonight; I cannot wait to make love to you."
"Why don't I just drop my panty and bend over. Then, you can fuck me up the ass and we can continue our evening without all of the sexual anticipation?"
"But, Honey, we are in the elevator."
"So, you say that like there is something wrong with that."
My friend, Bill, who was a swinger, met this woman who wanted him to fuck her up the ass. She had never had anal sex before and had always wanted to try it. Her husband, the only other guy, apparently, like me who does not like anal sex, would not accommodate her so Bill said, "Sure," he'd fuck her up the ass. Only, and apparently, this woman did not know the rules to anal sex. How could she? She never had it before. Well, before attending this house party where the swingers gathered, the woman had gone to dinner with her husband and had a big meal.
Well, you guessed it. Bill was fucking her up the ass. Let me tell you about Bill. He is one horny guy and can fuck better than anyone half his age and he is 60. And he has this huge cock. Anyway, he's fucking this woman up the ass and she is enjoying herself until, suddenly...Bill is covered from his neck to his knees in her shit. She shit all over him and all over the sheets. There was shit on the carpet and on the walls. This woman must have been saving this shit up because it was everywhere. There was so much shit. The woman was so embarrassed that she hauled ass out of there with her husband and left poor Bill covered in shit. He showered and returned to the room to help the hostess clean up the mess. Now, that is a true story and you can ask Bill if you don't believe me. Bill, get in here and tell the readers about that woman who shit all over you when you were fucking her up the ass and that it is a true story.
"It's true."
"Thanks, Bill."
Now, let me end this story by writing that it was not my intention to pass judgment or to insult or to criticize anyone's sexual lifestyle. I embrace everyone's right to float their own boat so long as it is between two consenting adults. Sorry, Darryl. I am only trying to understand.
So, I ask you, what is the big deal about anal sex? I'd especially like to hear a woman's point of view, a woman who not only enjoys it and looks forward to it but also who prefers it to penis to vagina intercourse, and one who is not Greek, Turkish or an Eskimo; l o l.
"Sorry, Paris Hilton, you are just a slut and your opinion does not count. What's that? You have a story to tell me that you want me to write about you and Britney Spears and you want me to tell everyone the real reason why Britney shaved her head? Okay. Well, I have to take off with Paris, everyone. Ciao!"
How To Enjoy Anal SexOne woman's suggestions.
MayhemLass answers Fred.Judging from the popularity of this category and the myriad of responses I received, I have come to the conclusion that the misconceptions and preconceived notions respecting anal sex are legendary. My impression is for the most part that a lot of men want it and a lot of women are horrified at the very thought. Generally, society has frowned on this type of sex, as reflected in derogatory remarks such as "asshole". Unfortunately, a lot of people are missing out on a great addition to their sexual repertoire.
Before I go any further, I want to VERY clearly urge anyone with ANY concerns about their health to USE a condom. Even the gentlest anal sex can cause tiny nicks and scratches that could easily conduct any organisms straight into your body.
The anus has a multitude of nerves and muscles which when stimulated correctly, can provide enormous pleasure. Two sphincters are obvious when a finger is inserted â the first which provides the 'pucker" with which everyone is familiar, the other, about half an inch in. The first is controlled by the individual consciously â thus you can tighten or loosen it at will. The second is controlled by the part of the brain that controls bodily functions such as heartbeat, breathing etc â i.e. you cannot control its reactions directly. Proper and gentle manipulation can be equally enjoyable for men â whose prostrate can be stimulated from the insertion of a finger in the rectum â and for women, whose G spot is readily massaged through this form of lovemaking.
I would highly recommend that each individual familiarize themselves with their own bodies, exploring their own fundaments first to gauge the feeling and reactions that the insertion of a finger or object engenders.
As an aficionado myself, and female, I thought it would be helpful to address the issue and give my own suggestions/recommendations respecting the introduction and enjoyment of this unique form of lovemaking. I will deal with male penetration of a female's rectum as that is what I can recommend and am familiar with.
Anal sex is not something that should be introduced on a whim, nor thrust upon someone who is unfamiliar with this very arousing form of lovemaking. Ultimately, I believe that preparation and patience are the two primary ingredients of a successful introduction to anal sex.
A subtle yet honest form of behaviour modification works very well in this regard. Introducing your lover by attempting to push a stiff penis up a very small area unused to intrusions from that side of the body is a guarantee of failure. Rather, start gently and carefully.
Preparing Her Desire1. First, begin with oral sex â an excellent starting point as you not only have intimate access to the desired area but as your lover's arousal increases, you are provided with the opportunity to gently and subtly introduce a finger; for instance, just tickling the fundament as your tongue takes care to keep her attention focused on the main event. As your lover starts to peak, push your finger very gently within the rim â do not go too deep or you will not only most likely derail her orgasm (thus creating a very frustrated and angry lover), you will also overstep the first steps to successful seduction.
Do this frequently and often, allowing her to slowly get accustomed to the feel of something tickling her anus, and in turn, linking an orgasm with the sensation of a foreign object around her anus. Done correctly, she will unconsciously begin to enjoy the extra stimulation provided by a careful finger or a warm tongue.
My strongest advice â DO NOT rush it! Most of us have been taught from a young age that anything to do with the very natural functions conversant with an anus are "dirty", that anything to do with the butt is "hands off". So not only do most people have to deal with the startling reality of accustoming themselves to something foreign in their anus â even more importantly, they have to overcome societal imperatives and parental restrictions.
2. Second, after your lover has become accustomed to â and learned to enjoy â non-threatening anal play, slowly begin to increase the level of your insertion. The anus does not self-lubricate, so unless your finger is sufficiently lubricated with your partner's own juices, then use a proper lubricant such as KY jelly or something similar. Providing oral sex while gently thrusting your finger in and out of her anus after she has learned to enjoy anal play is guaranteed to provide a very satisfactory and intense orgasm â thus continuing your gentle behaviour modification.
At this stage, it can also be stimulating and encouraging to gently insert a finger during intercourse. This can be done in a variety of positions, the easiest being the female kneeling and the male penetrating from the back. He then has easy access to her rectum and although it can be tricky, the sensation engendered by double penetration can be seductive and immensely exciting.
3. Third. After a sufficient period of time has elapsed and your lover has become accustomed to and enjoys her anus being stimulated, then you can begin preparations for actual anal intercourse.
There are some basic rules and preparation that I would highly recommend if you want an enjoyable and satisfying experience with anal sex. I will list them below:
âą Be healthy â ensure there is plenty of fibre in your diet so that your natural functions are normal and healthy. Some individuals prefer to have an enema to ensure no fecal matter is present, but if your diet is healthy and you have emptied your bowels, I do not believe this is necessary.
âą Have a recommended lubricant on hand, such as KY jelly.
âą Be conscious at all times of your lover's responses â being aware and responsive to her reactions is crucial if both parties are to enjoy the process.
4. Next, it is probably most helpful to introduce anal sex when your lover is already open, relaxed and aroused â i.e. don't START with it but consider it the culmination of a sexy, fun and enthusiastic session of lovemaking. This is also advised because due to matters of hygiene and possible cross-contamination, it is highly recommended than the penis is washed thoroughly and carefully with soap and water after anal sex. The penis must be washed both to avoid any bacteria that might cause infection in the penis, but also to avoid giving your lover any issues.
Preparing Her AnusThus, assuming that you are now ready to introduce the penis, I suggest the following:
1. Lots of lubrication â particularly the first few times â play with your partner's anus with lubricated fingers and warm tongue until the rectum is relaxed and open. You can lubricate her rectum during play. Then, ensure that your penis is similarly coated with a safe lubricant.
2. Choosing a position which is comfortable for both of you â spoon fashion works very well especially for the first few times as it gives the woman more control â holding your penis firmly, push it gently â and I mean gently, against the lubricated rectum. A lubricated anus together with a lubricated penis almost guarantees that the spongy head of the penis will slowly push in. JUST as you enter â STOP!
It should be noted at this point, that the two sphincter muscles I mentioned above now become relevant. The woman can help with the first muscle by pushing out as if having a bowel movement - that flares the anus open and gives egress to the penis. BUT, once the head of the penis has entered, the man must stop and allow the inner sphincter muscles to accommodate themselves to the intrusion. However, eager and open she is, the woman cannot control that inner muscle and must wait for her body to accommodate â forcing it at this point could damage and tear the muscles.
3. Let the woman take the initiative at this point. She has to accustom herself to the feel of the penis in her butt â the sensation when first experienced can feel quite uncomfortable, as if you need to have a bowel movement. Allow her the time to relax both physically (given time, the inner ring of muscles will loosen) and emotionally, to the feel of a penis in her rectum. Allow her to take the lead, to indicate either verbally or through her body that she is ready for you to push a little more of your penis up. Again, Go Slow! As the penis is thrust up the fundament, that ring of muscles will once again tighten; allow them the time to loosen and relax as they accommodate the girth of the penis.
Once the entire penis is inserted to the groin, relax and enjoy the sensation before actually beginning to thrust. The woman can flex and constrict the outer ring of muscles as she becomes used to the feel. By slowing wiggling her bottom, she can control the rhythm and make the decision when she wants her partner to push in or out.
4. The feel of a penis up your rectum is immensely arousing once you have been properly prepared. There is the physical reality that the anus has a multitude of nerve endings and muscles that signal pleasure, the feel of a thrusting penis against the G spot can induce a sensation unlike any other (and can actually eventually lead to female ejaculation which will be the subject of another essay) and then the emotional reality that you are engaging in a "forbidden" pleasure can be in itself stimulating and exciting.
Enjoying AnalFrom that point on, keeping hyper aware of your partner's response, you can engage in an increasingly enthusiastic bout of anal intercourse. As the intercourse continues, while the anus itself doesn't self-lubricate, the sensation and intense pleasure will ensure that the woman's natural lubrication together with the male's pre-cum mingle to form a very satisfactory and slippery lubricant which adds to the pleasure and allows intercourse to become more enthusiastic.
The man, at this point, may want to reach around and stimulate the woman's clitoris manually as it is quite common for women to require a little extra stimulation.
The only drawback to anal sex at this point occurs when the very exciting session has culminated and both partners have orgasmed. While it is tempting to loll in bed and enjoy the aftermath, it is crucial to wash within a reasonably quick period after sex â both the male and the female â to avoid the possibility of any infections.
I would add at this point that once you and your partner have a little more experience, some may prefer to use less lubricant or dispense with it altogether. Many females such as myself prefer the rougher stimulus provided by an unlubricated penis.
All in all, anal sex can be an exciting, arousing and fun addition to lovemaking.
By BOSTON FICTION WRITER & MayhemLass
- Näytä enemmän
