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Discover the distinct difference between neurotypical and ADHD brains in terms of ranking priorities, and understand why learning to prioritize relationships can drastically improve your social life.
Navigating relationships with ADHD requires a strategic approach. Imagine categorizing your relationships into three tiers to better manage your emotional and social capacityāthat's exactly what we'll discuss.
I'll share my experience in identifying the top five mutual relationships that deserve the most emotional investment, while also setting boundaries with other connections.
Learn why this method isn't about exclusion but about ensuring deeper, more meaningful interactions with those who truly matter. Tune in to discover how this strategy can foster a balanced, enriching social life, reducing the chaos and enhancing your emotional well-being.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Living with ADHD can often feel like navigating a minefield, especially when it comes to relationships. Impulsivity, distractibility, memory issues, and struggles with self-reflection can create a myriad of obstacles.
In this episode, I share personal anecdotes to illustrate how these ADHD symptoms impact our ability to build and maintain strong connections.
One key takeaway is the importance of understanding our unique brains. By doing so, we can improve our relationships by fostering deeper connections and reducing the tendency to blame ourselves for the difficulties we encounter. Itās not about fixing ourselves; itās about embracing our neurodivergent traits and finding strategies that work for us.
Engaging in therapy, self-soothing techniques, identifying triggers, and participating in relationship courses are some of the strategies I recommend. These can significantly enhance our emotional regulation, productivity, and overall relationship dynamics. Remember, itās about prioritizing our relationships and working towards improvement, not perfection.
Donāt forget to share this episode with anyone who might benefit from it, and as always, take care!
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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In this episode, weāll explore what masking is, how it impacts our relationships and self-perception, and why itās so crucial to create spaces where we can be our authentic selves.
For those of us with ADHD, masking often means hiding or downplaying our symptoms to fit societal norms or meet othersā expectations. This behavior is frequently learned from caregivers who, sometimes with the best intentions, teach us to conform. But while masking might help us navigate certain social situations, it comes with a significant emotional toll.
In this episode, we discuss how masking can strain our relationships and warp our self-perception. When weāre constantly trying to fit into a mold that wasnāt designed for us, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion. I share some personal experiences and stories from our community about the struggles and triumphs related to masking.
One of the key takeaways from this discussion is the importance of creating safe spaces where we can be our true selves. Whether itās setting boundaries, practicing self-acceptance, or educating those around us, there are steps we can take to reduce the need for masking. I also introduce an adult ADHD masking measure that you can use for self-reflection to better understand your own masking behaviors.
Masking is a challenging but essential topic, and I hope this discussion helps you on your journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. Remember, itās okay to be yourself, and you deserve relationships that honor and support who you truly are.
Links used in today's episode:
ADD.org
Medical News Today
Behavioral Health Consulting Solutions (info about the Masking Measure)
Masking Measure Questionnaire
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Welcome to the episode where we dive into making vacations enjoyable and low-stress, especially if you have ADHD. Today Iām sharing my personal experiences and practical advice on how to manage ADHD during your travels. Hereās what we cover:
1. The Importance of Rest and Planning Ahead
Learn why itās crucial to balance relaxation with careful planning.Tips on making decisions in advance to minimize stress in unfamiliar environments.2. Avoiding Overload
Discover strategies to avoid sensory and activity overload.Hear about my own family trip to Zion National Park and the lessons we learned.2.1 Mindful Financial Planning
Advice on managing your budget to prevent financial stress.Understanding your financial limits and planning activities accordingly.3. Prioritizing Individual Needs and Comfort
How to prevent burnout by prioritizing your own needs and comfort levels.Setting boundaries and recognizing your limitations to avoid exhaustion.4. Essential Travel Tips
Check medication regulations and ensure you have enough for your trip.Packing essentials and staying hydrated to keep your body and mind in check.5. Disconnecting from Work
The importance of unplugging from work to fully enjoy your vacation.Tips on how to engage in leisure activities and strengthen connections with loved ones.Join us as we explore these tips and more to ensure that your next vacation is both enjoyable and manageable. Letās make sure you come back feeling relaxed and grateful!
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Today we delve deep into the complex and often misunderstood relationship between diet and ADHD symptoms. Iām bringing you a topic thatās close to my heart, sparked by my own journey and curiosity about the potential of nutrition in managing ADHD. But, as weāll explore, itās not as straightforward as it may seem.
Iāve always been fascinated, and admittedly a bit skeptical, about how what we eat impacts our mental health, especially when it comes to ADHD. With a rise in functional medicine practitioners advocating for diet as a panacea, I felt compelled to take a closer look. Can dietary changes alone truly manage ADHD without medication? Itās a question that many of us grappling with ADHD have pondered.
From personal experience, I can tell you that managing a strict diet can be a Herculean task for someone with ADHD. Weāre talking about a condition that inherently makes planning, prioritizing, and resisting impulses more challenging. Yet, thereās this growing narrative suggesting that if we just ate the right foods, we could overcome these hurdles on our own.
But what does the research say? In todayās episode, weāve dug into the studies and found a sobering lack of substantial evidence supporting the idea that diet alone can significantly alter ADHD outcomes. While no one denies the benefits of improved nutrition on overall health, suggesting it as a standalone solution for managing severe ADHD is not only misleading but potentially harmful.
The conversation around diet and ADHD doesnāt stop with us adults. Thereās immense pressure on pregnant mothers with ADHD, bombarded with claims about how their diet could impact their childās health and potential ADHD. Itās a heavy burden, rooted in the oversimplification of ADHDās causes. Today, we debunk some of these myths, emphasizing ADHDās complexity and how itās shaped by a tapestry of genetic and environmental factors.
Another critical issue we tackle is the widespread misinformation about ADHD medication. Itās alarming how non-medical professionals feel emboldened to make broad claims, contributing to the stigma and confusion surrounding these evidence-based treatments. Despite our critique of oversimplified solutions, we acknowledge the undeniable role of a healthy diet in enhancing well-being. But to suggest it can ācureā ADHD? Thatās where we draw the line.
As we wrap up todayās episode, I want to remind everyone that while diet is important, managing ADHD is a multifaceted journey. This is why Iām excited to introduce our coaching membership program FOCUSED designed for adults with ADHD. Our program recognizes the value of a comprehensive approach, incorporating medication, lifestyle changes, and personalized support to navigate the complexities of ADHD together.
Here is the study that I mention in this episode: Nutrition in the Management of ADHD: A Review of Recent Research
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Iām back with another āeverything but the kitchen sinkā podcast episode.
Honestly, I was struggling with my capacity to create content for the podcast. So, Iām honoring the capacity I have. Because ADHD is all about meeting yourself where youāre at, right?
If youāre looking for tips and tricks on improving your life with ADHD, I might steer you to the other 250 podcast episodes weāve recorded. This one is more of a wild look into my mind at the moment. So, buckle up.
Iām sharing some hot takes on a book I recently read that I wanted to throw against a wall, discussing a super ADHD-friendly book I highly recommend, and giving you TMI about whatās been happening in my family lately.
Iām offering my thoughts on turning 43 a couple of weeks ago and what itās made me realize about life in general and, more specifically, my ever-evolving ADHD journey.
But also Iāve got a huge announcement about something Iām currently working on. Spoiler: itās one of the reasons my creative capacity has been zapped in most areas of my life lately. If nothing else, listen until you get to that point.
I hope you enjoy this look into whatās happening in Kristenās crazy brain!
Podcast episode referenced in this episode:
A Beginnerās Guide to ADHD, Part 2: ADHD is (NOT) a Gift
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In this episode, the incredibly amazing Brooke Schnittman joins us.
Brooke is one of my favorite colleagues and I'm so happy to introduce her to you. Sheās the founder of Coaching With Brooke, an ADHD & executive function coaching company for students and adults.
Brooke and her team help kids and teens with ADHD by educating them on the 'why' behind their struggles and providing executive function coaching.
Coaching made a huge difference in Brooke's life, so much so that she decided to become a coach herself. But get this: she wasn't diagnosed with ADHD yet. It wasnāt until Brooke started coaching other ADHDers that she recognized the symptoms in her own life.
In this episode, Brooke shares exactly whatās worked for her in her ADHD journey and what she uses to help her own clients have those same aha moments in their own lives.
Do not skip this podcast episode. Youāll take home some actionable steps you can start applying to your life today if you suspect you might have ADHD - or youāve been diagnosed for decades.
You can learn more about Brooke at coachingwithbrooke.com. And be sure to follow her on Instagram too!
If you want to see how coaching can impact your life, I encourage you to check out my group coaching program, FOCUSED. This is the place to achieve your goals and feel better than ever. Come join a community that understands you where you're at today.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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This episode is going all in on a spicy topic. Thatās right, weāre talking about sleep. Or for some of you ADHDers, lack of sleep.
Do we know it helps us live a healthy life? Of course. But the practicality of getting ourselves to bed at a reasonable time is so hard.
Before we can figure out HOW to improve our sleep though, we need to understand WHY sleep is hard for us. Trouble sleeping isnāt a symptom of ADHD, but the symptoms of ADHD (impulsivity, hyperactivity, time blindness, etc.) make it hard for us to wind down, relax, and sleep. For me, overworking led me to years of struggling to sleep. My nervous system was wired, like constantly. Of course, it affected my sleep.
When I taught on the subject of sleeping in my group coaching program FOCUSED last week, I heard from several members who resonated heavily with this topic. So, I decided to share that class on the podcast for those of you with the same challenges. I want you to feel seen, heard, and validated.
Whether you find yourself up late because youāre trying to cross things off your to-do list or those precious few hours at the end of the day are the only alone time you get, this episode is for you. Iām sharing exactly what you need to improve your sleep once and for all.
If you find this podcast episode helpful and want to receive more coaching like this, check out FOCUSED. This program is perfect for you if you keep trying to conquer your ADHD symptoms but canāt quite figure it out, and you know youāre ready for some help.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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What if you could change your life in 7 minutes? Iām here to tell you itās possible. In fact, Iām doing it myself. Itās called The 7-Minute Principle, and itās the idea you can do anything for 7 minutes.
What would your email inbox look like if you spent 7 minutes cleaning it up?What would your laundry situation look like if you spent 7 minutes folding clothes?What would your morning routine look like if you spent 7 minutes getting ready?
Hereās an example. A former student of mine had drama around doing the dishes. For years and years, she HATED doing them.
One day, she decided to time herself. It took her 7 minutes. All of the drama dropped immediately because - letās be honest, you can do anything for 7 minutes and itās not that bad. Now apply this to other areas of your life.In this episode, you'll learn the ins and outs of this simple but life-changing hack.
Try applying this principle to your life for one week and see what changes you experience. Itās a small change that can make a huge impact.
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They are baaaaaaack! Everyoneās favorite psychotherapists, Helen Villiers, and Katie McKenna, are back to finish the conversation on emotionally abusive behaviors they see in parent-child relationships.
Are curious about what narcissistic behavior looks like.Find yourself repeating cycles you experienced in childhood.Have yet to recognize where your ADHD stems from.Want strategies for healing.
They quite literally wrote the book on this topic. These two brilliant ladies co-authored You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal.
In this podcast episode, weāre diving even deeper into the impact of narcissistic parents and the role past trauma can have on your ADHD. This episode is for you if you:You can listen to part one of this episode here. And be sure to check out their podcast called In Sight: Exposing Narcissism.
If youāre ready to learn more about traumaās impact on your past and current behaviors, I invite you to join my group coaching program FOCUSED. Youāll get regular coaching calls and a supportive community with all the tools needed to thrive with ADHD.
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Weāve had some truly amazing guests on the podcast lately, and our most recent guest is no exception.
Dr. Layne Norton is an evidence-based nutrition coach and self-proclaimed 'nerd who lifts heavy things.' He has a Ph.D. in Nutritional Sciences, 4 USA Power Lifting National Titles, and 1700 clients in his coaching program.
His resume is stacked, to say the least. But being diagnosed with ADHD at age 6, Layne has had to overcome some serious challenges both in his personal and professional life.
With more than 1 million followers on social media, itās no secret that Layneās story has resonated with a lot of people.
Heās sharing the ways he copes with his diagnosis and how heās used what heās learned over the years to create a crazy successful business and beautiful home life.
Be sure to follow Layne on Instagram. You can learn more about his coaching services by visiting his website.
Be sure to hang out with me on Instagram HERE. -
You might remember psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna from episode 200 where we talked about toxic relationships and their impact on ADHDers. You may also know their podcast called In Sight: Exposing Narcissism.
Well, since we last visited, theyāre ALSO co-authors of You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal.
Iām honored to have these two incredible ladies back on the podcast to discuss some of the emotionally abusive behaviors they commonly see from parent to child. Even if you believe you had a very normal childhood and your parents were wonderful people, Iād urge to to listen to this episode.
A lot of the tendencies your parents mightāve had (or have now) may be your normal, but that doesnāt mean thereās not some generational trauma at play.
Note: This is not me saying your parents arenāt wonderful people; they very well may be! But recognizing some of these tendencies can be PIVOTAL to unpacking and working through your ADHD ā and they can help you avoid repeating the same behaviors.
So, without further adieu, I re-welcome, Helen and Katie!
Does this episode resonate with you? I invite you to join my group coaching program FOCUSED. This program is for you if youāre interested in regular coaching calls and a supportive community with all the tools needed to thrive with ADHD.
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Iāve been married to Greg Carder for almost 20 years years. This man is the only one for me! But when I tell you we couldnāt be more different...
He's calm, steady, and methodical, and he doesn't mind mundane tasks like laundry. I mean, COME ON!
Through a lot of trial and error combined with years of ADHD research on my end, weāve learned a thing or two about how to be a good partner. More specifically ā how to be a good partner to someone whoās neurotypical when you have ADHD.
Iāve coached a lot of FOCUSED members on their relationships, and I see the same struggle: Either theyāre not taking their ADHD seriously and getting treated or their partner isnāt taking it seriously and is dismissing their needs. Both ways create major issues in any ADHD relationship.
Hear me when I say that to be a good partner, you have to get treated for your ADHD. You need to take responsibility for your mental health condition. This part isn't optional.
Because if youāre not taking your diagnosis seriously, you canāt expect your partner to either.
In this episode of the I Have ADHD Podcast, weāre taking a deep dive into how to be a good partner when you have ADHD. Iām breaking this down into 10 simple steps that you can analyze and apply to your relationship.
These steps work for marriages, friendships, family, and business relationships. This episode has something for everyone whoās in a relationship. Period.
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Every once in a while, I struggle to know what to do for a podcast. This was one of those episodes.
So, I decided to take questions posted in the FOCUSED Slack by our community members and answer them publicly. And you know what? This ended up being so much fun.
Because those of us with ADHD are very similar. Weāre human beings with ADHD brains. And that is a common experience that just binds us together.
So, I know reading these questions and answering them will be helpful for you.
Weāre covering topics likeā¦
What to do if you feel like medication isnāt working for youHow to avoid binge eating when you struggle with ADHDHow to transition into intimacy with your partner when itās unexpectedAll the challenges of parenting with ADHDThereās a reason I chose the questions. I know so many of you struggle with them. So, if you resonate with any of these topics, you donāt want to miss this episode.
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Iām beyond excited to share this episode with the one and only Oliver James. At 35 years old, Oliver is learning how to read for the first time.
You might have seen him on TikTok, Good Morning America, The Rachael Ray Show, or NPR, where heās shedding light on functional illiteracy.
After being diagnosed with ADHD and OCD as a child, Oliver spent most of his life struggling to keep up both in and out of the classroom until a string of bad choices found him in prison.
On the other side, Oliver continued to struggle. His ADHD and OCD left him desperate for answers but not sure where to turn ā until he decided to teach himself how to read in 2020. Oliver captured the raw journey on TikTok, where he ended up going viral.
Over the past four years, Oliverās story has inspired millions. Heās now using his powers for good as a public speaker and advocate for adult literacy. I truly cannot wait for you to hear his story.
You can follow Oliver on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in college. While Iād like to think that was like 5 years ago, it was actually a lot longer. It was much harder to get a diagnosis back then.
Weāve got more access to info than weāve ever had. People are more willing to share their experiences with ADHD, which is helping lessen the stigma around mental health.The medical field is finally catching up with science. It wasnāt until the '90s that doctors realized most children do NOT grow out of ADHD. Adults are finally getting diagnosed!Weāre living in a highly digital world, which means weāre now able to get assessed and treated online. This is huge.
In fact, the ADHD diagnosis process was different 5 years ago when I started my podcast.
Itās 2024 now, and Iām thrilled to say itās easier than ever before for adults to get an ADHD diagnosis. This isnāt me saying itās easier to FOOL clinicians into falsely diagnosing you. I mean itās easier for people who have ADHD to get an accurate diagnosis. How so?So, how do you go about getting diagnosed with ADHD? In this podcast episode, Iām sharing the 3 steps you need to take if youāre ready for a formal assessment, including links for an online diagnosis.
PS - if you know somebody who suspects they have ADHD but hasnāt gotten a diagnosis or been evaluated for it, send them this podcast episode to help them gain some clarity.
Shownotes links:
The ASRS-5 assessmentOnline ADHD resources for the US
Done
Circle Medical
ADHD OnlineOnline ADHD resources for Canada
Frida
Centre for ADHD Awareness, CanadaFind a clinician who can help you across state lines
Psypact mapHang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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The I Have ADHD Podcast is a clear, concise, and FUN podcast for adults with ADHD. Host Kristen Carder is an ADHD expert who has been supporting ADHDers for over a decade. Kristen began working with ADHD students in 2012 and transitioned to mindset coaching for ADHD adults in 2019. Let's just say she entered the ADHD field long before it was a trending topic on TikTok. Join Kristen to learn about how ADHD impacts every area of your life...from the boardroom to the bedroom...and how you can begin to overcome your symptoms by accepting who you are, flaws and all. This podcast is a mix of solo shows + interviews with the authors of all the dusty ADHD books sitting on your shelf: Dr. Barkley, Dr. Hallowell, Dr. Quinn, Dr. Ramsay, Sari Solden, Dr. Tuckman, and more! Binge-listen from the beginning, or start with the latest episode. Either way, it won't be waste of your time. Whether you're officially diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or just curious about ADHD, you're going to love this podcast...guaranteed or your money back! Disclaimer: Kristen would like you to know that she's a very different person now from the woman who dropped the first 75 episodes of this podcast. Her values have changed. Her tone of voice has changed. She's much more empathetic and trauma-informed NOW than she was 4+ years ago. ****OBVIOUSLY the content in this podcast is not meant to be a substitute for medical advice. Kristen Carder is not a medical professional.
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This week, I blew up at my son. At the time, I felt justified (donāt cross mamaās boundaries) but the more I sat with the situation, I knew I was in the wrong.
The whole thing made me feel ick and got me thinking about the āright wayā to apologize.
Note: These are tips for apologizing in a perfect world. If youāre activated, feeling defensive, or in self-judgment mode, itās going to be way harder to put these into action.
Hereās the thing: Being human is hard. We all want safe, connected relationships. But every relationship in our lives will rupture at some point.
Fortunately, it is possible to repair even when we're in the wrong.
Because at the end of the day, apologies arenāt enough. (I know, if you grew up in a home where āsorryā was used as a power play to silence you, this is probably shocking.)
But being sorry doesn't fix everything. š š»āāļø We need to do the work of repair, and people need time before they can recalibrate and trust us again. Thatās NORMAL.
In this episode on How to Apologize, Iām sharing 3 steps you need to take the next time you apologize - plus what you need to do to repair the relationship and make sure you donāt make the same mistake again.
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Iāve got something incredible to share with you. As an adult, you donāt have to do anything you donāt want to do. Did you know this?! Pause. Breathe. Let that soak in.
Many of us grew up in situations where we didnāt feel we had autonomy or the right to self-govern. We didnāt feel like we were in charge of our lives. So, in adulthood, we struggle to recognize that we have control over what we say yes and no to.
Why is this a problem? Because, as adult ADHDers, it takes us so much mental and emotional energy to do things we donāt want to do.
So, you stay stuck in a job you donāt like doing tasks you donāt enjoy. You feel burnt out. You spend your weekends unable to do things around the house because youāre exhausted.
Iāll let you in on my little secret. I give myself an 'out' for everything.
I tell myself I donāt have to do anything. It takes away any obligation and resentment so my brain can truly determine if itās something I want to choose to do.
Next time you are resisting and dreading a task and procrastination keeps nagging at you, ask yourself that question. Challenge yourself to consider what will happen if you donāt do it. Is that what you really want?
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE
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If youāve ever wanted a look inside the brain of Kristen Carder, this episode is for you. Buckle up, itās going to be a bumpy ride.
The actual meltdown I had after a crazy successful FOCUSED launch last monthWhy success is scarier for us ADHDers than failure. See point #1.The struggle happening in my mind after working for years to stop overcommittingWhether Iāll actually commit to going to yoga classes this yearā¦ tbdAll the things I learned from Dry January and the takeaway that surprised me most
Maybe itās the fact that Iāve been sick or that Iāve just got things I want to say that donāt fit into a topic weāve covered on the podcast latelyā¦ but this episode is going to be me dumping the contents of my brain for all to see (orā¦hear?!).
So, find a comfy spot on the couch, grab your beverage of choice, and letās chat!
In this episode, Iām sharing aboutā¦How itās so dang *hard* to be human.This episode is no-holds-barred. If you like a structured podcast episode, you may want to check out one of the other 249 I Have ADHD Podcast episodes.
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE. - Näytä enemmän