Episodit

  • In this episode, Advanced Certified Weight and Life Coach, Heather Beardsley revisits the concept of anti-fragile weight loss and delves into the "fuck-it/distracted cycle"—a common pattern where life's disruptions cause you to lose focus on the new habits. This episode focuses on how to shrink that cycle and regain your sense of agency when life gets messy.

    What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

    What the "fuck it distracted cycle" is and why it happensWhy these cycles are completely normal and how to recognize when you're in oneHow to avoid using these cycles as evidence of failure and instead see them as growth opportunitiesSimple strategies to regain control, even during chaotic times, like jotting down a quick food plan or drinking waterHow small intentional actions can help you refocus and stay committed to your weight loss goalsThe power of asking yourself, “How do I win the moment I’m in?” to shift your mindset in challenging times

    Key Takeaways:

    Everyone experiences cycles of distraction and chaos—it's part of life.The key to success is minimizing the time spent in the "fuck it distracted cycle" and refocusing with small, doable actions.These cycles do not signal failure; they are a chance to practice resilience and self-compassion.Heather encourages listeners to let go of self-judgment and focus on what they can control in the present moment.

    Homework:
    Create a list of small, simple ways to make the next best decision when you're in the "fuck it distracted cycle." Start with things like making a quick food plan or hydrating. Focus on what you can do right now, rather than worrying about what went wrong before.

    Join the Conversation:

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In episode 62, you'll explore the concept of "should" thinking—those thoughts that stem from societal expectations and external pressures—and how they impact not just your food choices but other areas of your life, like relationships and self-care. By recognizing and reframing these "should" thoughts, you'll be able to move away from outside ideas of how you 'should' live your life that can create chronic feelings of guilt and frustration toward a mindset that allows for more freedom and the self-fulfillment that comes from living a self-directed life.

    The episode equips you with tools to become more aware of how "should" thinking affects your behavior and provides strategies to shift toward more empowering, self-directed thoughts. By the end of this episode, you'll gain clarity on how to let go of restrictive internal dialogue and replace it with affirming thoughts that support your values and internal preferences. You CAN feel confident about building a lifestyle that aligns with your values, free from external pressures and expectations, ugrade your internal world, and live a more meaningful life.

    The episode includes homework to help you put these concepts into action. This week, you'll track your "should" thoughts by keeping a journal for a week, reflecting on where these thoughts come from, and identifying whether they are driven by external or internal sources. Next, you'll change up the 'shoulds' by practicing reframing these thoughts into empowering statements, such as "I choose to" or "I'm curious about," you'll start to build more self-directed intuitive habits of thinking and doing.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

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  • A common recurring theme I see with my clients is a struggle to break free from diet mentality. Restrictive diet mentality is the belief that there are "right" and "wrong" foods you 'should' eat in order to lose weight or maintain your weight.

    When use restrictive diet mentality to lose/maintain weight, what happens is you prioritize choosing those virtuous foods above your own internal tastes and preferences. When we ask ourselves to consistently eat virtuous foods over what we prefer to eat, we experience scarcity thinking. There is manager you telling you all of the things you should be eating and then there is the part of you wants what she wants. This pits inner and outer selves against each other; and what we see is the dynamic of 'being good' for a while, which is always followed by 'being bad, overeating, feeling out of control, and self judging. We can participate in restrictive deit mentality for decades, even though we all know this approach is flawed, as evidenced by people we know who eat "unvirtuous" foods yet maintain a healthy weight.

    How do I know when my clients are grappling with diet mentality? One sign is that they make a food plan, but then don't end up following it consistently. Another sign is a resistance/fear of putting the bad/unvirtuous foods on their plan; even though they might be eating those foods daily without permission. A third sign is using shaming/judging self talk to increase compliance with virtuous choices. This disconnect between planned and actual eating is a key indicator you might be stuck in restrictive diet mentality.

    Your coach homework for this week is to take a look at your food planning from the previous seven days and identify any foods they overate. Plan for those foods intentionally this week, by practicing enjoying them with permission and following your hunger and fullness cues. The goal is to create emotional satisfaction in the experience of eating those foods with permission and safety; which tells the brain the way to lose weight sustainably, for life, is to tune into your own choices internal cues for answering the questions of what, when, and how much to eat.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Success in changing habits around food relies on having tools ready to respond when you have an urge to eat outside of being hungry or already having eaten enough food. In today's episode, I give you fifteen good responses to practice and have at the ready when you find yourself having an urge to overeat.

    Using these will help you redirect how you think in those moments to help you respond differently AND help it feel easier to choose to not overeat.

    Here is the list of fifteen good responses for when you have an urge to overeat.

    This will taste even better when I'm hungry again.It tastes so good AND overeating won't allow me to enjoy this any more than I already have. If I stop at enough, I'll be able to have it again the next time I'm hungry, which will be sooner than if I overeat now...PLUS I'll be proud of myself. I’ve already decided on this issue. If I say yes to eating more right now what am I saying no to? This is my chance to practice a new habit. I want it, but I also want to (lose weight this week). I will meet the discomfort of stopping now, or I will meet the discomfort of my overeat when I fill out a discovery sheet tomorrow. Either way, it’s uncomfortable. Of course, it tastes good. If I put it away now I get to enjoy it again tomorrow.Yes, it tastes good, but so does going to bed knowing I've had my own back today. Food can’t make me feel better, only my thoughts can do that. What do I really need right now to feel better? Am I tired, stressed, overworked, or need to give myself a break? Can I acknowledge my needs beyond what food can give me right now? The price of learning how to change habits is my willingness to be uncomfortable for a while. I won’t always feel this way about stopping the more I practice this skill.

    Your Coach homework this week is to PRACTICE and REHEARSE thinking these so they are fresh in your mind when the urge to overeat happens. Then, practice using them, and see how your typical responses to urges to overeat might change.

    For a downloadable PDF copy of these responses, comment 'LIST' this episode 60 instagram post and I'll DM you the link.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In this episode I introduce a strategy that you can use to help you be more intentional AND feel better during times whenvoyu notice you tend to overeat.

    Emotional time blocking is deciding how you WANT to feel ahead of time instead of reacting to or resisting to how you feel when you are in automatic mode.

    Time blocking your day can encompass more than just identifying when you focus on what tasks you want to accomplish that day. Time blocking can also take into comsideration how you want to feel intentionally during each segment or section of your day. When you both plan for how you spend your time AND how you want to feel during that time, you are practicing emotional time blocking.

    Emotional time blocking can be used to be more intentional any time you notice you tend to overeat. Successful emotional time blocking will depend on your ability to identify the core need underlying the problematic desire or want, and I give you examples of how to do that inside the episode.

    Your coach homework this week is to try emotional time blocking, not just for overeating patterns, but also as a way to level up your overall experience in any challenging times where you'd like to feel better and get different results. Doing so will allow you to feel more in control and with a plan for how you want to show up and feel in the process rather than feeling like you are always reacting to emotions you typically eat over like feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stressed.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Today I answer three questions from the VIPs on my email list:

    1. Allison has recently lost 40 lbs over 15 months with the help of Wegovy. Her question is what happens when the meds go away? How does a person deal with the brain chatter they've had for 30 plus years when the meds are gone?

    2. Kay Ann is very judgmental of her body shape. She needs to loose 30lbs, does strength training, and core. She says she has nice arms, not bad shaped legs, but her middle torments her.

    3. Julie has lost 123 pounds and is thrilled to now be at 135 pounds. She has been taking Ozempic and is now stretching out the number of days between shots and prioritizing movement and weight-bearing exercise. She is asking for any advice that I think would be beneficial for her at this part in her journey.

    Thank you everyone for submitting your questions I hope my feedback was helpful. To get your question answered; join the VIP email list by visiting https://hbeardsley.com/subscibe.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Anti-fragility means that a system becomes stronger when faced with disruptions, variations, or outlier events.

    Variability in a system like weight loss are often things like holidays or vacations, which are are often viewed 'hard' for weight loss and as such we tend to respond by resisting these stressors which makes everything harder, or more 'fragile.'

    Making your weight loss or weight maintenance system 'anti-fragile' means embracing the variability of life that put stressors of your system in order to learn how to make the entire system stronger. This way we can view stressors event as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than viewing them as failures.

    Overcontrolling the weight loss system sytem can make it more fragile; for example virtuous eating, all-or-nothing thinking, indulging in 'I'm off track' thinking, and obsessing over 'streaks', can introduce fragility into your weight loss system. Instead, focus on understanding the underlying reasons for your actions and results and use those as a way to build a more robust and anti-frgaile weight loss system.

    Weight loss does not occur in a vacuum, and fragility in weight loss may be indicative of fragility in other areas of life, such as finances, relationships, or past trauma. Addressing these broader issues can help build the tensile strength into your habits around food needed for sustainable weight loss.

    Coach Homework:
    1. Identify what are the fragile components of your weight loss approach. List as many as you can think of.
    2. Explore ways to think and approach these variations and how you can make your weight loss system anti-fragile or stronger as a result of when these things happen.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Human beings have the unique ability to think, feel, take action, and listen intentionally by using the prefrontal cortex part of our brain rather than do all of those things automatically or reactively.

    Being curious and aware of 'how' you listen to and then interpret what you hear can completely change how you see yourself and how you view and understand others.

    Without intentional listening, our past experiences and expectations will always be filtering and shaping the way we interpret what we hear in our self talk and what we hear from others. This can be a significant obstacle in weight loss, as our automatic, habitual thoughts and beliefs about food and our behaviors can prevent us from making meaningful changes. [00:15:17]

    By actively listening and questioning our beliefs, we can gain a deeper understanding of the underlying issues driving our behaviors, such as overeating. [00:19:51]

    Intentional listening means developing the habit of not believing everything our brain tells us. Considering alternative perspectives, separating facts from our automatic interpretations and then choosing the meaning we want to give to our experiences is a powerful tool for breaking free from unhelpful patterns and creating lasting change. [00:19:59]

    If we want to work on active listening, it's important to balance those efforts with regular periods of mental rest like meditation daily or even serveral times a day. [00:30:51]

    Intentional listening is a great way to reclaim your life, your beliefs, and your perspective of yourself and others as your own. To be truly free requires listening actively, using discernment, and then choosing what to think in response in a way that that serves you and the person you want to be. [00:34:12]

    Coach Homework assignment:

    1. Has there ever been a time in your life when you thought what you heard was a wrong interpretation and that had big consequences?

    2. Has there ever been a time in your life when someone misunderstood what you were trying to say and that had consequences? [00:34:46]

    Deeply listening to other people without your own agenda or old beliefs filtering what you hear can give you a deeper. truer understanding of yourself and why you do what you do. Once you are aware of your behaviors, you have a shot at being able to change them. Active or intentional listening can give you that, and it's something you can work at every day in little ways with your self-talk and how you communicate with the important people in your life. [00:36:18]

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In this episode, I teach you some techniques for how to eat less and feel satisfied with less. For most of us, this means changing your habit of how you determine what is enough food that still allows you to lose weight without feeling restricted.

    Our old habits of determining what is enough food is usually using visual estimations of what is enough like preportioning or using a certain sized plate or bowl. Or, we are waiting to feel physical fullness (stretching in the stomach) as a cue for when to stop eating. These methods not a reliable or effective ways to determine how much food is enough to lose weight AND also represents enough to feel emotionally satisfied.

    Listen in and take notes on the full 6 step protocol for how to eat less and feel satisfied or visit me on the Instagram reel to grab the steps. The link is below.

    Homework:

    What exactly does it feel like when you’ve eaten to completely full, 10 out 10 parts full? What does it feel like when you are done eating a meal that will maintain your weight?What does it feel like when you are done eating a meal that is physically enough food, but a number of bites less than you would typically eat to maintain? What does it feel like when you are done eating a meal that isn’t enough food physically? Why do you suppose you might have resistance to eating a little bit less? What is you worried about if you have in fact, eaten enough food physically to 7/10ths full?For your answer to number five, what can you do to anticipate this need and meet it ahead of time knowing you will feel this way when you practice eating to 7/10th full?

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Welcome to the first Bonus Q&A episode where I answer questions from listeners who are on my email list.

    Today I answer three questions, tune in to listen to the coaching feedback I offer on these questions, and then see how you might be able to apply the concepts to what YOU are working on in your own life.

    #1 from Cindy :

    I have Chronic Pain Syndrome and wake up several times a night. I have been eating up to 50% of my calories at night and while my stomach does growl sometimes, it has definitely become a horrible habit. I was planning all the snacks! Not good.
    What can I do? How can I stop this. I have had a lot Of regain at this point and don’t want to regain all my weight.

    #2 from Joyce:

    Any tips on how to get back in the healthy habit routines?

    #3 from Mary Ann:

    A question or topic popping to my mind would be something along the lines of getting past the diet mentality of doing all the things NOW. Lately, I’ve been focusing on Basically stopping (at half my portion). I still struggle with hunger and enough. (Stopping at half) has helped a lot - especially if I’ve planned ice cream and really want it after dinner! So, curious what insights you might offer about letting go the speed trap diet mentality told us was possible and effective. (No shade to the people who have been able to do all the things, I’m just not one of them).

    A big thank you to Cindy, Joyce, and Mary Ann for submitting questions. I have not yet gotten to them all, so stay tuned for the next Q&A episode in a few weeks.

    If this podcast was helpful, please take a moment now to open up your podcast player and rate the podcast! I strive to earn your 5 STAR review. 5 star reviews help the podcast get found by so many more people just like you. THANK YOU.

    To bed able to submit YOUR question join my email list by visiting www.hbearsley.com/subscribe.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Why is changing reactive and automatic eating habits important if you want to get to goal weight and keep it off?

    Reactive and automatic eating are two adpative habits that respresent habitual overeating. If we always look to food to resist, react to, or escape from how we feel OR we use eating as a form of escapism then you are chronically overeating; which is in the way of weight loss.

    I offer three approaches to work with decreasing reactive and automatic eating; working ahead of the build up of negative emotions, directly processing how you feel and cultivating a relationship with your emotional/thinking patterns, and practicing acceptance to what is and tell the truth about what is happening in your life. Finally, you can increase your awareness of how your thinking and feelings affect your nervous system and whether you are in a stressed state or not.

    Questions to ask regarding reactive and automatic eating:

    1. If you are not hungry for the food then what am I thinking eating is going to give me?
    2. My need in this situation is for _____________________________.
    3. How else could I meet this need more directly? List as many as possible.
    4. What is this situation trying to tell me is needed and or needs to be accepted?
    5. How can I give time and space to process my day and the emotions I am feeling before I eat?

    Homework:

    Challenge yourself to practice a different response (other than eating) when you want to reactive eat or automatic eat up to FIFTY times. At the end of fifty times responding differently, you will start to fundamentally change your habit of reactive and/or automatic eating.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In this episode, I go over the main tenets of weight loss without restriction, and I give you the exact data-driven steps I use with my clients for how to get the scale to start moving consistently (or remain consistent if you are in maintenance.) If you feel like you are tired of f*cking around with your weight loss goals, this is the episode for you.

    Previous episodes mentioned:

    Making Peace with Hunger

    How To Break The Habit of Overeating

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Sustainability is the ability to maintain or support a process continuously over time. In order for your weight loss to remain sustainable, we need to find a way to regulate and attune to our energetic, financial, emotional, physical, and interpersonal needs enough to sustain our desired habits around food. It requires deep listening and paying attention to your limits and boundaries of what's possible.

    Doing a review of the periods of time in your life that have resulted in weight gain can reveal unsustainable circumstances. These might be able to be made sustainable with practice or maybe not. What do the clues tell you? When do you find it impossible to not overeat? What does your inner knowing tell you about your life in those times and your competing desire to lose or maintain your desired weight? Is it time to make some big changes to stop making things so hard so that the life and weight you desire can BE sustainable?

    Coach Homework:

    Is my life as I've created it in this phase of my life truly sustainable? Are there signs that elements in my life need some restructuring or change? Go back and listen to any episodes in Season One that you missed or want to relisten to and/or purchase the Love Life & Lose Weight book on Amazon. The paperback is now available.

    I'm taking a sabbatical from the podcast for the fourth quarter of 2023. I'm not exactly sure when I'll be back, but my best guess is the beginning of 2024 for Season Two. I want to reassure you that between the 51 podcast episodes of season one and the book, you have everything you need to lose weight without restriction. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.

    In the meantime, the best way to stay in touch with me and my work is to join the email list HERE.

    Stay focused and so long. xo

    Coach Heather

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • What I'm suggesting today is to make your relationship to receptivity an intentional component of your weight loss to help make that process easier and take less time than it has to.

    Allowing and receptivity are cousins in this regard. Limiting habits of thinking about food, indulging in doubt as to whether you can lose weight, and allowing competing priorities are just some examples that take us out of receptivity to weight loss.

    Being receptive also includes being willing to allow the discomfort of habit change to suck and be hard, but that difficult process also creates the alchemy of change we are after. Just allowing receptivity for the process to be an intentional part of your journey will help you reach your goals. It's about opening up to the process. Let it change you, and watch everything shift in your journey. Commit yourself to getting out of the way and stop throwing resistance into the mix.

    Stay tuned for special announcements as we are now in the last few episodes of season one of the podcast!


    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • Relational capacity, as I define it describes your ability to meet your expectations of what you know you need to think, feel, and do in order to lose weight.

    Weight loss will always involve noticing what level of performance you are at; especially when you notice you did not take the desired actions you are after. Understanding these letdown moments is so much more helpful if you frame the situation in terms of where your capacity level was at that moment.

    Noticing how you aren't doing what you know you want to do will be so much more fruitful if you frame that level of performance as a capacity issue and THEN commit to slowly building your capacity with a commitment to BUILDING that capacity.

    As a coach, I so often see my clients viewing their capacity limits, for example, when they overeat pizza again on Friday night as seeming PROOF of inability, and nothing could be further from the truth.

    Instead, you can approach your current level of performance and habits around weight loss in terms of optimizing your capacity and working at the edges of where you are at. Relentlessly notice your progress and wins, and never use your current capacity against yourself and your goals and dreams.

    Coach Homework:

    Write about what you think is in the way of you reaching your goals? Make a list. For each item, consider where you are with relational capacity for it. Can this area be optimized with focus and practice? How exactly can you work at the edges of your current level of performance? Describe what would that would look like. Then make a plan to start this week by writing it into your weekly and daily planner. To get a copy of these planners, join the list.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In this episode, I explain how to translate the top eight negative emotions to learn what might be needed. The emotions listed below are the top eight negative emotions that we often eat over. If you are in a place of wanting to move beyond reacting to them, resisting them, or avoiding them, this episode is for you!

    For any negative emotions we experience, we can take 100% responsibility for them by how we have chosen to think about the world and what's happening that created them. When we do that, we create a space of intentionality and agency over our lives, even when it feels hard.

    Coach Homework: Identify 1-3 of the most commonly felt negative emotions listed below for you. Using the translation below, explore in your journaling whether there is a message from your particular negative emotional experience that is trying to get your attention about what is needed.

    Anger is trying to tell you what you're passionate about, where your boundaries and values are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.Disappointment is trying to tell you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, and that you still care.Anxiety is trying to tell you that you need to wake up to the truth of how life is right now, that you're stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.Bitterness is trying to tell you about what needs healing and where you're still holding judgment of others and/or yourself.Resentment is trying to tell you where you're arguing for things to be different, living in the past, and not allowing the present to be as it is.Guilt is trying to tell you that you're living life from other people's or external expectations of what you should do.Discomfort is trying to tell you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening because you're being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than what is typical for you.Sadness is trying to tell you the depth of your feelings and care for others and/or the world.

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • In this episode, I discuss our internal human experience of how we think both spontaneously and intentionally, how I understand it and frame it as a weight loss coach for my clients, and how to accommodate it and shape it with the intention of helping you lose weight.

    Your habit brain is going to resist changing your habits around food. We want to expect that and accommodate it without making its resistance mean anything about what is possible for us.

    Ways to create thought leadership in your mind's eye:

    Identify what area of your brain the thought is likely originating from - the manager brain or the primal brain. Ascertain why it makes sense that you would think that. Shape and direct any primal thinking by adding to, correcting, or rejecting the thought to provide thought leadership in my internal world. Do not expect impulsive negative, fearful, or resistant thinking from your primal brain to ever go away.

    Your coach's homework is to write about how you want to respond to negative primal thinking in the moment. Make your process easy so that it takes less than one minute to complete.


    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.

  • My book, Love life And Lose Weight, Eat What You Love, Trust Your Body, and Lose Weight Without Restriction, launches today, so we are having a virtual party to celebrate.

    I kick off the party by reading you the introduction chapter, so you can decide if purchasing the book is right for you. Next, I will tell you exactly HOW I launched a podcast and wrote a book in less than ten months. Finally, I tell you about what this journey has meant to me personally and WHY I wrote it.

    If you want to support my work, there has never been a better day than today to show your support by purchasing the book [CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE], telling your friends, and spreading the word on social media. With each of these actions, you and I together take small but significant steps to help women everywhere leave the cult of diet mentality behind them, free ourselves from conditioned thinking about our bodies, our weight, and our relationship to food, and in the process figure out how to love life and life at our desired weight.

    If you prefer a physical paperback book, stay tuned for the release of that version of the book sometime next month! Thank you for your support and for celebrating with me today!

    XO Heather

    Support the show

    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

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  • Food planning is the workhorse habit of sustainable weight loss and maintenance. Making a daily food plan is a tool to help you become an adept self-manager who is keenly aware of her true tastes and preferences for food. Food planning helps you design the food lifestyle that is right for YOU. It's also a way to practice keeping promises.

    You also need to be willing to get planning wrong many times in order to learn your true tastes and preferences around food because you are learning how to plan for what and how much is right for you without thinking there are good food or bad food choices.

    We also plan because we want you to be able to practice telling yourself no successfully. When we say, 'No, we can have that tomorrow; we didn't plan for it,' we practice the skill of delayed gratification and learn how to stay focused on the benefit of the long-term goal of weight loss rather than always following your in-the-moment urges around food.

    Food planning is not a way to parcel out food to yourself, unlike the restrictive dieting food plans you've followed before. It's a way to make decisions ahead of time about 'what' to eat while leaving the questions of 'when' and 'how much' to your body. This is a process of converging your managerial brain together with the wisdom of your body to create lasting and sustainable change.

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  • Today I'm sharing with you how I coach on maintenance. This can be helpful for those in or approaching maintenance (within 10 pounds or so). Learning about the unique challenges and skills of maintenance is also a great way to give you some insights about what comes after active weight loss mode even if you're not there just yet.

    Maintenance is always a range of weight rather than an exact number (usually 1-3+ pounds) due to natural fluctuations in water weight, inflammation, your menstrual cycle, if you are sick, having traveled or flown in an airplane, and what kinds of food you eat. I recommend using at least a five-pound range for you to consider yourself to be 'at goal weight.' I call this your green zone.

    Then you can add a yellow zone where you specifically design exactly what weight above the green zone; you will enact a protocol where you have a plan for exactly what you will do to revert back to weight loss mode. Your weight loss journey should have given you insight as to the habits and strategies that result in weight loss for you. you want to put those into a protocol for yourself now and then use it as a living strategy that gets continually tested and adjusted as needed.

    If you are still in weight loss mode, this is the perfect opportunity for you to develop your yellow zone protocol. For example, I know I tend to lose weight if I can keep my overeats to two or less. What is your magic number? What about sleep, stress, and water? What kinds of foods help you feel satisfied and lose weight? Write them all down in a weight loss/yellow zone protocol.

    Maintenance is all about getting confident about how to stay in your green zone through all of the different exceptional times, like holidays, vacations, and stressful times that can pop up.

    Also important is developing a practice of trusting and relying on yourself about your commitment as to what you will and won't do to stay in maintenance. If you miss brushing your teeth for a day or so, you don't question whether you are an adequate teeth brusher, so don't fall into the trap of doubting your skills the first tie you pop up into your yellow zone. Instead, use the yellow zone as an opportunity to trust yourself to take action even if you don't feel like it.

    In maintenance, you will need to trust your body's hunger cues to tell you how much to eat instead of relying on your assumptions about how much you 'should' eat that worked when you were actively losing weight.

    You'll also want to be open to allowing your relationship to certain foods to change and evolve over time. By the time my clients get to maintenance there can be an over-attachment to eating 'certain foods' that allowed you to lose - which can drive you to think you need to keep eating that way in maintenance. But you can maintain eating any foods, and you just want to stay open to that experience and experiment with it!

    The last thing you'll want to watch out for in maintenance is unintentionally recreating the dopamine hit of weight loss by gaining over the weekend and then taking the gain back off during the week. This is a cue to develop a more compelling next goal for your life and be open to exploring that.



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    Visit me @thriveinmidlife on Instagram and comment SUBSCRIBE to get your FREE gift and join the VIP list. Or, comment with your ah-ha's, takeaways, homework, and/or questions from this episode, and let’s keep the conversation going.

    Want to work with me? CLICK HERE to find out how.

    Audio engineering by Young Cub Audio.