Episodit
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Talking points: attachment, psychology, relationships
Men tend to underestimate how important the feeling of safety is for their partners. Not a dig, just something I’ve seen time and time again. And if you’re partner has an avoidant or anxious attachment style, your part in creating a sense of safety in the relationship can be complicated. Listen in for some straightforward tips.
(00:00:00) - Intro, and why women sometimes “test” you
(00:03:45) - Here’s what changes when she has an avoidant or anxious attachment style
(00:06:39) - And here’s what to do if she’s anxious
(00:10:14) - Tactics if she’s avoidant
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: mindset, psychology, meditation, spirituality
Meditation and mindfulness get a lot of air time these days, especially on the more “crunchy” side of wellness spectrum. But is it all it’s cracked up to be? I sat down with Shai to really dig into this, from the wildly esoteric and spiritual side of the question to the more practical, tactical side. Because what’s the point of enlightenment if it doesn’t make things, well, a little lighter?
(00:00:00) - Shai’s feeling of being “outside” the usual human experience, the difference between detachment and dissociation, and using things like meditation to avoid life
(00:09:52) - What IS consciousness, and the West’s obsession with enlightenment
(00:25:45) - Why are humans even capable of self-reference? What’s the point?
(00:34:16) - Do these complex, philosophical ideas help with our day-to-day lives?
(00:43:20) - How can men develop greater mental flexibility and combat closed-mindedness?
(00:56:55) - What to do to get your calm back in a conflict
(01:02:07) - The ultimate test of mental flexibility: putting yourself in a loved one’s shoes
(01:09:41) - On reigniting imagination and using it for good
Shai Tubali is a Postdoctoral Research Fellow at the University of Leeds, UK. He has a doctorate in philosophy of religion from the School of Philosophy, Religion, and History of Science at the University of Leeds. He’s the author of the monograph Cosmos and Camus: Science Fiction Film and the Absurd (Peter Lang) and a contributor to the Routledge Companion to Absurdist Literature, as well as a prolific published author, having written over twenty books, including award-winning and bestselling titles. Among his diverse publications, one can find prose, poetry, practical books on meditation and self-development, and philosophical treatises on South-Asian philosophy and classical Greek philosophy.
Connect with Shai
-Website: https://shaitubali.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shaitubali/
-Flexible Mind: https://yourflexiblemind.com/
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQwf6sSC-F2sH4uDOmJkKsw
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Puuttuva jakso?
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Talking points: mindset, psychology
Aristotle said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Speaking from my own experience, he’s definitely wasn’t wrong. Here’s what nearly every man on the planet has to battle—and how to reclaim your power.
(00:00:00) - Intro and why this is an important topic
(00:03:37) - What causes a lack of impulse control? Two massive reasons
(00:10:40) - How to actually develop a deep, quality capacity for impulse control
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: culture, geopolitics
This interview is probably among the most unique I’ve had on the show. I don’t usually cover straight-up politics, but Andrew’s work has fascinated me for a while. And as the world seems to getting more up in arms (literally and figuratively), I find myself wanting to learn more about where all of this started and how we as men can respond.
(00:00:00) - Common misconceptions about the CIA
(00:11:47) - Why foreign secrets are such a big deal
(00:24:51) - Andrew’s perspective on current global unrest, Iran, and just how complex it is
(00:38:31) - What’s difficult to understand about geopolitics, and why there seems to be so much conflict
(00:48:19) - Is there any form of governance that truly permits any freedom, and where the balance could lie
(00:57:47) - The perspective shift that changed Andrew’s life
(01:08:51) - Andrew’s take on what’s going to happen next with Ukraine, Russian, and Iran
(01:16:33) - Is US global supremacy in jeopardy? If it is, what does that mean for the average citizen?
Andrew Bustamante is a former covert CIA intelligence officer, decorated military combat veteran, successful Fortune 10 corporate advisor, proud husband and father.
After 20 years running human and technical intelligence operations for private and government clients worldwide, Andrew founded EverydaySpy.com -- the first-ever digital spy training platform. Headlining both US and International media, Andrew’s training events have been praised for their innovative, authentic, and life-changing impact.
When he isn’t giving interviews, running spy exercises, or supporting private intelligence contracts, Andrew lives with his wife (also an ex-CIA Officer) and two children in Colorado.
Connect with Andrew
-Website: https://everydayspy.com/
-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/everydayspy
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everydayspy/
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: intimacy, relationships
Game changers aren’t usually simple, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. But this is a surprisingly easy, straightforward step that I’ve seen work time and time again. So listen in and let some wonderful things happen.
(00:00:00) - Expectationless desire and why it’s important
(00:05:37) - What to do, and what it looks like
(00:08:36) - Final thoughts
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: culture, parenting
One of the most informative fifty minutes I’ve ever recorded; and now that I’m a father of two, it’s pretty well timed! Grateful for Lisa’s insight, her years of experience, and her great sense of humor. This is the episode to listen to if you (like pretty much every parent) are looking for sound advice that you can act on literally right now.
(00:00:00) - Intro, and what are parents being taught that isn’t actually beneficial?
(00:06:40) - How do we raise kids who like themselves?
(00:11:22) - Timers: a great parenting “hack”
(00:16:25) - Ways of developing a more robust connection with your child, and the shift between raising a child, a preteen, and a teenager
(00:23:37) - How can parents help their kids build skills and develop competency?
(00:29:02) - The cost of perfectionist parenting, and what to do during tantrums
(00:44:35) - Do’s and don’t when dealing with teenagers
Lisa Bunnage is a Parenting Coach with BratBusters Parenting Services. She has been working with children for 40+ years in schools, hospitals and youth detention facilities. She uses a mix of down-to-earth common sense and humor to teach parents how to get respect from their children.
Connect with Lisa
-Website: https://bratbusters.com
-Podcast: https://bratbusters.com/podcast/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bratbustersparenting/
***
This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your relationships with everyone—including yourself. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: culture, masculinity, social issues
Inspired by a recent article in the WSJ. Young men are facing some serious difficulties right now. We need to not just be aware of what’s going on, but follow that up with coherent, intelligent action.
I’m not some genius who can declare national-level policy changes, but I KNOW what works on an individual level. If you’re a man who’s struggling in the face of increasing isolation and an uncertain future, here are five things you can work on right now.
(00:00:00) - Intro
(00:03:32) - The data presented
(00:09:44) - Young men now have to struggle against modern culture more than ever
(00:14:05) - Why can men do on an individual level in the face of all this? Number one: stop blaming women.
(00:18:06) - Number two: set right your relationship to risk
(00:20:30) - Number three and four: engage in healthy confrontation, and make friends with people you respect
(00:24:53) - Number five: you’ve got to set in shape. Prioritize actually living IN your body
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: culture, masculinity, relationships
Warren’s been a consistent and committed voice for men for decades now, an it’s been far too long since we’ve talked, so when I wanted to get some insight on how things have changed—or not—he was the obvious choice! We cover the complexity of what “makes” a man, get into politics, and some solid practical advice for couples. Enjoy and dig in.
(00:00:00) - What’s happening to young men in today’s culture
(00:09:47) - Warren’s take on why there seems to be negation or dismantling of biological underpinnings of maleness
(00:17:53) - Is there really a difference between men and women, and Warren on listening first, solving second
(00:26:08) - Why do we see a gender divide in politics?
(00:36:06) - What Warren would say to men in their 20s and 30s
(00:41:54) - On Warren’s book Role Mate To Soul Mate, and what makes falling in love easy but sustaining love difficult
(00:52:27) - Advice if you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells with your partner
Warren Farrell, PhD, has been chosen by the Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders. His books are published in 19 languages. They include The New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, and the international bestseller The Myth of Male Power. Dr. Farrell presented the findings of The Boy Crisis (2018) worldwide, from the White House to the Norwegian Parliament. It was a catalyst for bipartisan legislation for father involvement in Florida.
Dr. Farrell’s most recent book, Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Seven Secrets to Lifelong Love (2024), is based on his teaching couples’ communication for the past 30 years to more than a thousand couples and psychologists. Warren has been a pioneer in both the women’s movement (elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC) and the men’s movement (called by GQ “The Martin Luther King of the men’s movement”). He advocates for a “Gender Liberation Movement, freeing both sexes from the rigid roles of the past.” His life journey is the subject of a forthcoming documentary.
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: porn, addiction, mindset, psychology
We all know it’s not easy. We all know it takes time. What you might NOT know is that there’s a simple reframe about quitting things like porn, weed, alcohol, and more that swings the odds in your favor. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - Intro
(00:02:58) - A new perspective on some addictions
(00:04:27) - The real question to ask
(00:07:08) - What to do instead
(00:09:27) - If you’re like me, this is gonna take time
(00:19:45) - Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection
(00:25:04) - If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here
***
Say no to subscriptions, but yes to a razor that’ll last you a lifetime. Visit HENSONSHAVING.com/MANTALKS to pick the razor for you and use code MANTALKS. You’ll get two years worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: attachment, tactics, mindset
Let’s admit we all want a relationship that’s balanced and has minimal conflict and insecurity. I’ve talked about what anxious and avoidant couples do, but how do securely attached couples navigate? Here are five things to model.
(00:00:00) - Intro, and a quick recap on the main attachment styles
(00:07:30) - What do securely attached people in relationships do? Number one: healthy conflict and resolution building
(00:10:45) - Number two: they operate from a place of trust
(00:12:40) - Number three: they can self-regulate and work towards healthy de-escalation
(00:16:54) - Number four: they have a healthy balance of independence and togetherness
(00:19:45) - Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection
(00:25:04) - If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get matched quickly with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and help you learn more about the best version of you yet. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: culture
This one will rattle some people, but it needs saying. Let’s just leave it at that.
(00:00:00) - Intro, and why shaming men is a bad approach to better behavior
(00:05:27) - The patriarchy virus
(00:11:06) - Yes, this has a lot of a complexity, but dehumanizing men who aren’t in power isn’t helping anyone
(00:14:19) - The practical consequences and how we need to take a step back
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: isolation, culture, relationships, friendship, anger, connection
Every now and I then, my team and I like to compile some of the greatest insights from our guests and center them around a theme. This week, we’re going hard on connection. The importance and nuance of it, the consequences of being without it, and the ways connection manifests.
These days, connection isn't easy, but it's more important than ever. Listen in some highly distilled wisdom.
(00:00:00) - Doug McKinley on isolation, passing down wisdom, self-leadership, working weaknesses, and adding value to you and your world
(00:21:51) - Nedra Tawwab on developing satisfying friendships and how to navigate tough conversations
(00:35:26) - Marisa Franco on how men and women build friendship differently, “friendship minus mission”, how camaraderie has changed over the years, and the impacts of NOT having friends
(00:50:56) - Angus Fletcher on changing your internal story and your relationship to yourself, cultivating inner antifragility, and relating differently to your own anger
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: fatherhood, parenting, mindset, culture
Taking time off as a man seems perfectly normal—until it’s done for a newborn. While I don’t disagree that a father can (and should) work to provide for his family, I also think that your presence is a deeply important factor in your kid’s development. Here’s my rationale.
(00:00:00) - What inspired this episode
(00:03:10) - The real reasons I took time off
(00:07:56) - How I’ve learned to define success
(00:11:52) - I challenge men to think differently about things when their children are born
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: relationships, testosterone, estrogen, stress
I had John on the show years ago, and it seemed like the right time to ask: has anything changed since publishing his seminal book? Turns out the answer is yes—and no. Dig in with us as we cover John’s take on conflict, mindset, confidence, emotions, hormones, and a lot more!
(00:00:00) - How have things changed since you wrote your book, and do men and women deal with stress differently?
(00:16:40) - John’s take on why testosterone has become somewhat demonized, and the limits of talking about your feelings in a relationship
(00:36:32) - John on truth, and the meeting place of mindset and reality
(00:44:41) - The paradox of confidence and the comfort zone, and the basics of emotional processing
(00:56:25) - The balancing act that is testosterone and estrogen, and its effects on aggression and self-esteem
John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century. In hardcover, it was the #1 best-selling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.
Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.
John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance.
Connect with John
-Website: https://www.marsvenus.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johngraymarsvenus_official/
-Books: https://www.marsvenus.com/books
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: attachment, avoidance, relationships
This is thicker one, my friends. I’ve been asked by a lot of you to cover this, and here goes. There’s straightforward tactics in here for both men and women that will help you move more easily into deeper and longer lasting connection. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - Intro, some of the internal beliefs an avoidant woman has learned, and what caused them
(00:06:08) - Avoidant women tend to attract savior-oriented men. Here’s why
(00:09:26) - What to do as a couple, and tactic #1 for women: communicate your needs, but start smaller
(00:13:42) - #2: shifting from self-protection to relational connection
(00:16:33) - #3: lean into conflict, not away, plus a couple things that will help you with this
(00:19:58) - Guys, your turn. #1: move from questions to statements
(00:23:20) - #2: give thanks instead of criticism
(00:25:18) - #3: be clear about expectations
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Talking points: music, artistry, creativity, AI, culture, spirituality, psychedelics
Music has been around for thousands and thousands of years. There’s a reason for that: it’s a powerful, synchronizing force between peoples, places hearts, and minds. And when you add psychedelics, well, that’s a recipe for incredible journeys.
I’m honored to have had this convo with one of my favorite artists, and we dig into just how important music is not just for enjoyment but as a guide, mentor, and facilitator. We also cover his upcoming doc, Music For Mushrooms. Listen in, team.
(00:00:00) - What role does music play in our lives that we often overlook, and how East’s relationship to music has changed over the years
(00:08:25) - What’s worrisome about AI and music?
(00:16:47) - How artists can weather the storm
(00:23:05) - On initiation, and the threshold we’re crossing into a vast, uncharted era
(00:26:00 ) - What was it like making music with Ram Dass?
(00:32:49) - How do you make music for a psychedelic journey, and how the union of music and psychedelics leads to something more
(00:43:15) - How do you describe psychedelics to someone who’s never done them?
(00:48:21) - How music can be a mentor and a guide to turn to
(00:51:55) - What sparked East’s Music For Mushrooms documentary
Since 2008, East Forest has used music to guide listeners through modern journeys of deep introspection. The electro-acoustic project has remained primarily a solo effort (of Krishna-Trevor Oswalt), straddling the worlds of ambient, neoclassical, electronic and indie-pop.
Whether via his Music For Mushrooms: A Soundtrack For The Psychedelic Practitioner album series, his collaborative spoken word album with Ram Dass, or one of his communal “Ceremony Concerts,” East Forest’s goal has always been “building bridges and creating an approach that’s grounded, embodied, and unarguable.”
Connect with East
-Website: https://eastforest.org/
-Documentary, Music For Mushrooms: https://eastforest.org/music-for-mushrooms
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eastforest/
-Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/east-forest/304982626
-Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3AWGOhO
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
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Talking points: relationships, mindset, victimhood, entitlement
This is going to…bother some of you, but it needs to be said. Straight out the gates, this isn’t an every single man or every single woman issue, but these are what’s contributing to the insanity that is modern dating. Hear me out.
(00:00:00) - Intro and how this is gonna upset some people
(00:02:21) - The man that some women expect to date doesn’t exist, why that’s a thing,
(00:07:55) - The idea that what women bring to a relationship is automatically more valuable isn’t always true
(00:10:11) - On entitlement and how both sides are contributing
(00:13:11 ) - Men, you’ve bought into the BS notion that something is automatically wrong with women
(00:15:40) - Many men are fundamentally afraid of women and don’t want to admit it
(00:18:34) - Many men have become fragile
(00:21:05) - No more victim puking and women blaming
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: parenting, attachment, mindset, psychology, neurology
The internet behaved badly in this episode, but Eli is so knowledgeable and thorough I had to put this up! The Attachment Nerd herself brought a TON of info and practical tips for parents this week. Strongly encourage you to listen to this with other parents. I certainly learned a lot. Her new book comes out Sept. 3rd; go pick it up!
(00:00:00) - What is reflective functioning, and when does that start developing?
(00:06:58) - How does a parent support a child who’s still developing that reflective functioning?
(00:12:58) - The problem with treating kids as little adults, and why we do it
(00:20:44) - How to tell if you’re raising a securely attached kid; 4 simple tips
(00:32:05) - The importance of presence and support over adult logic, and on staying grounded
(00:40:18) - How to foster discipline AND self-esteem in your kids
Eli Harood, known as Attachment Nerd on social media, is a licensed therapist, bestselling author, and highly sought-after educator who has more than 17 years of experience helping people process relational traumas and develop secure connections with their children. Her life’s mission is to help make the world a better place one relationship at a time. In addition to her clinical work, Harwood also offers online courses and in-person retreats to help individuals better understand their attachment styles and build stronger bonds. She has also served as a faculty member at The Denver Family Institute and is the author of “Securely Attached.” Eli has three children, one husband, two cats, and an extraordinary number of plants.
Connect with Eli
-Website: https://attachmentnerd.com
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
-Book: Raising Securely Attached Kids: https://attachmentnerd.com/books/raising-securely-attached-kids
-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd
***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find a therapist who can help empower you through the tough times and cultivate your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: suicide, culture, masculinity
This isn’t an easy episode, but it’s important. If you’re someone who works with men, whatever kind of work that is, please share.
(00:00:00) - A part of my story I rarely share
(00:04:30) - What I’ve learned
(00:07:35) - What’s contributing to this?
(00:10:36) - If you’re somehow involved with men, here’s what to do. If you’re in this situation, here’s what I’ll tell you
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: attachment, avoidance, divorce
My anonymous guest this week has been solving the puzzle of his anxious attachment style for a while now. He’s made great progress, but there’s more to be done. On top of this, while it’s impacted all of his romantic relationships with intense conflict, distance, and damage, his wife is an avoidant. It’s a complicated situation, but there IS a way forward.
(00:00:00) - What brought our guest in today
(00:05:58) - Why my guest is holding onto something they’ve identified as unhealthy
(00:12:11) - What my guest is hoping to get out of the session, and a hard truth
(00:16:53) - Taking on responsibility and shame when things aren’t working in the world
(00:21:37) - When a young child can’t get the attention it needs, it’ll be encoded as panic to the child
(00:31:33) - The declaration
***
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices - Näytä enemmän
