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We are the first generation of parents raising kids in the age of smartphones. As such, there is very little guidance around finding a healthy balance of screen time and non screen time activities.
At the same time, we’re seeing a concerning rise in mental health issues in our teenagers. Coincidence? Research is saying no.
In this episode, I discuss the connection between increased anxiety in teens and the rise of smartphones using the book “The Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt.
Key Points Discussed:
The correlation between the introduction of smartphones and a rise in teen anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide. Play-based childhood (active, social interaction) being replaced by phone-based childhoods (disembodied, asynchronous communication). How Phones hinder the development of social and emotional skills. The opportunity cost of a phone-based childhood (social deprivation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation). Jonathan Haidt's proposed solution: "Building a ladder from childhood to adulthood" - a gradual introduction of responsibilities and independence.This is the first of two episodes on the topic, so stay tuned for Part 2!
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In this episode, I dive into the common hurdles parents face when raising teenage boys. I'll also offer actionable strategies to build a strong foundation of trust and understanding with your son.
Topics discussed include:
Common challenges: From emotional withdrawal to risky behaviors, we'll discuss what to expect and why they act the way they do. Building trust: How to lay a solid foundation of trust and understanding with your son. Communication hacks: 4 proven tips to get your teen boy to actually talk to you!You'll also learn:
Why clear limits and consequences are essential. How to avoid punishment and focus on positive reinforcement. The best ways to connect with your son, even when he seems distant.Remember, your teen son still needs you! This episode will equip you with the tools to navigate this crucial stage and build a strong and supportive relationship.
Mentioned in this episode:
53. Why is My Teen So Angry
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A little over a year ago, I dropped an episode tackling the do's and don'ts of parenting a teenager, and guess what? I'm back for round two! Now, I'm not exactly the type to stick to every rule, but I do appreciate a solid guideline or two. That's precisely what I'm serving up in this latest installment.
Join me as I unpack 7 essential do's and 7 must-avoid don'ts when it comes to navigating the teenage years. From the art of embracing boredom to celebrating individual quirks, I'm covering it all.
Now, you know me—I'm all about shaking things up and questioning norms. So, fair warning: this advice might not be conventional, but it's definitely worth a listen. Tune in, filter it through your own values, and let's challenge the status quo together.
Mentioned in this episode:
62. The Do's and Don'ts of Parenting a Teenager
64. Adulting 101: Life Skills Every Teenager Should Learn
We're All Weird: The Rise of Tribes and the End of Normal - Seth Godin
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Raise your hand if you remember your first love. We all do! Because it's all so exciting and new and also so incredibly crushing at the same time.
Now you have a teenager ready to do the same... gasp!
But fear not! I am here to help you through it.
In this episode, we'll explore the 6 stages of teen love (crush, connection, "official," settling in, crumbling, breakup) and give you tips to navigate them all.
Learn how to:
Spot the signs your teen is interested in someone Be a safe space for them to talk about their feelings Foster healthy communication & boundaries Identify red flags in unhealthy relationships Support your teen through breakups (they'll happen!)This episode is perfect for parents who want to:
Understand their teen's dating life Help their teen build healthy relationships Be a supportive rock during love's ups and downsMentioned in this episode:
Episode 24. Tips for Teen Dating
Teenage Love - Slick Rick
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Doing something that goes against the grain can feel scary, especially when it comes to parenting.
What will they think?
What if it's a mistake?
What if this all blows up in my face?
All of these thoughts have gone through my head as I've made parenting decisions along the way.
Decisions like pulling them from public school, finding a program that better suited their needs, and trying alternative approaches to mental health care.
I found something different because the old way of doing things wasn't working. And I wanted something better for my family.
I'm starting to see more parents challenging the norm and I'm here for it! The wave of a new paradigm in parenting is rising, and that's what this week's podcast episode is all about.
Topics discussed include:
The Old Rulebook's Toll: The cost of hidden feelings, disconnection, a fear of failure, and a focus on punishment over understanding.
The New Rules of Connection: The impact of open communication, building trust, and prioritizing mental well-being.
Self-Doubt & Isolation: Strategies to overcome fears, trust your gut, and have the courage to do things differently.
If you're wanting something different and better for your teen, this episode is for you.
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In this podcast episode, I discuss type A and type B personality types and the challenges that type A parents face when raising a teenager. I'll explain the characteristics of type A and type B personalities and share my experience of transitioning from type B to type A.
I'll also provide tips for type A parents who have a type B teen and offer advice on how to be a more laid-back parent.
Get ready to learn about:
How your drive to achieve can impact your teen 5 common struggles, from pushing your teen too hard to letting emotions take over How personality clashes can arise between high-achieving parents and laid-back teens Tips for managing stress, focusing on the bigger picture, and letting go of control Ways Type A parents can become more like Type B parentsSo, if you're a Type A parent (or suspect you might be!), this episode is for you!
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In this episode, I invited Marriage Coach, Michelle Purta on to discuss the challenges of raising teenagers while maintaining a happy and healthy marriage. We talk about the importance of effective communication and conflict resolution so that you can remain connected as a couple.
Topics discussed include:
Effective communication and conflict resolution strategies How prioritizing your marriage and creating a shared family vision can strengthen your relationship Why understanding and compassion are key in navigating differing parenting styles Why taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining a healthy marriage and family dynamicWhere to find Michelle:
Website
The Marriage and Motherhood Podcast
Instagram
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Raising a teenager can be tough for so many reasons. We question every decision, wondering if that fight over curfew or the forgotten permission slip somehow means we're failing them.
But here's the secret many parents don't realize: raising a teenager isn't just about shaping them, it's about shaping you.
All of the challenges are opportunities for growth, giving you the chance to become an even better person.
In this episode, I share personal stories as well as a few client stories.
You'll learn:
Why your teenager's struggles can be a mirror to your own unresolved issues How your past shapes your parenting (and not always in helpful ways) 5 actionable steps to turn things around and become a more confident parentThis episode is for you if:
You feel triggered by your teenager's behavior You suspect your own childhood experiences are impacting your parenting You're ready to heal old wounds and become a better person--
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In this episode, we're diving deep into the world of parent groups and why they're absolutely essential for anyone raising a teenager.
You'll learn:
Why raising a teen can feel so isolating (and what to do about it) 9 ways parent groups can benefit YOU How to overcome common hesitations about joining a groupThis episode is for you if:
You feel alone and isolated while raising a teenager
You're looking for support and encouragement from other parents going through the same thing
You're tired of feeling like you're constantly questioning your parenting decisions
You want to feel more confident and effective when parenting your teenager
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Mentioned in this episode:
The Art of Non-Reactive Parenting Masterclass
Episode 100: Teen Loneliness & Parental Isolation
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Is your teenager's slamming door echoing in your soul? Are meltdowns (theirs or yours) becoming a regular feature in your home? You might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and parenting a teenager can feel like walking a tightrope blindfolded.
In this episode, I’ll shed light on the unique challenges and hidden gifts of HSP parents navigating the teenage years.
Topics discussed include:
How your empathy allows you to truly understand your teen's emotional rollercoaster. Strategies to manage your own overwhelm when your teen's emotions are running high. How to set healthy boundaries that keep you grounded without pushing your teen away.This episode is for you if:
You suspect you're an HSP and your teen's drama feels extra intense. You struggle to manage your own emotions amidst your teen's angst. You crave practical tools to create a calmer, more connected relationship with your teen.Not sure if you're a HSP? Take this free online quiz.
Mentioned in this episode: Supporting a Highly Sensitive Teen
Free masterclass for parents of teens called The Art of Non-Reactive Parenting. If you’d like calmer communication and a better connection with your teenager, this class is for you.
WATCH HERE
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Is your house a warzone of bickering siblings? You're not alone! This episode dives into the five main types of sibling dynamics and explores why conflict between siblings is actually a good thing.
Topics discussed include:
*Common causes of sibling rivalry
*How to effectively resolve conflicts, including 7 steps to guide you through the process.
*How to reduce future fighting and create a more peaceful home environment for everyone.
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Mentioned in this episode: Free masterclass for parents of teens, The Art of Non-Reactive Parenting. If you’d like calmer communication and a better connection with your teenager, this class is for you.
WATCH HERE
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In this episode, I’m having a conversation with my friend and former client, Michelle Gauthier about why so many moms are feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied with life.
This is something I've struggled with as have many of my clients. It's easy to just accept this way of life, but surprisingly just as simple to do something about it.
If you're a working mom, this episode is for you!
Topics discussed:
* Why so many moms are feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied with life
* Where the drive to do more comes from
* The importance of asking for help and outsourcing tasks
* How being more relaxed and present in your life translates to a better relationship with your teen
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Michelle is a professional life coach who helps busy, overwhelmed women create a more calm and intentional life. She is also the host of the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
www.michellegauthier.com
Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast
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This episode offers a simple yet powerful framework for navigating this unpredictable phase of parenting: the 3 E's of Parenting a Teenager.
Topics discussed include:
How your emotional state impacts your interactions with your teen. Learn practical tips for managing your energy and staying present. Letting go of preconceived notions and allowing your teen to explore their own identity. Discover how releasing expectations can lead to a more peaceful and connected relationship. Building trust and understanding through active listening, empathy, and authentic communication. Explore ways to connect with your teen on a deeper level.This episode will help you:
Simplify your approach to parenting a teenager. Reduce stress and frustration in your relationship with your teen. Build a stronger, more trusting connection with your teen.Episode mentioned: Letting Go of Expectations: The Key for Better Parenting for Teenagers
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Strict? Me? Never! That’s what you may be thinking. But strictness is a spectrum. And sometimes parents can teeter into harmful righty without even realizing it.
In this episode, I explore why some parents lean towards strictness, signs that you might be overly strict, and the effects it can have on your teenager.
Key Points Covered:
Differentiating between authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles, and the spectrum within. Recognizing behaviors like zero tolerance for mistakes, excessive rules, and lack of room for discussion or natural consequences. Exploring why parents might be stricter regarding grades and romantic relationships, and the underlying motivations. How strict parenting can make teens feel inadequate, voiceless, and stressed, impacting their self-esteem and emotional well-being. Examining reasons like the need for control, cultural influences, emotional instability, and lack of positive parenting skills. Practical steps you can take to ease up on strictness, including self-reflection, embracing changing relationships, and seeking support.Article used in this episode
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So often, as parents, our dissatisfaction with our own life negatively impacts our ability to effectively parent our teen. When we feel happy in our own life, it not only makes us better parents but also better people. One of the most effective tools I’ve found in improving my quality of life is manifestation.
Manifestation is often perceived as mystical or far-fetched, but it's actually a practical process of setting clear goals and aligning your thoughts and actions with those goals. In this episode, I’ll dive into the concept of manifestation, breaking down its components and sharing personal experiences to illustrate its effectiveness.
Topics in this episode include:
My personal experience incorporating manifestation practices into my life and the results I have created along the way Practical techniques such as goal setting using the five "F's," visualization, and affirmations The importance of taking inspired action and staying open to possibilities Simple steps you can take now to start manifesting positive change in your life--
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In this episode, I invited Leadership and Mindfulness Coach Vrin Rao to explain how to use the Enneagram to become a more intentional and less reactive parent.
We explore how understanding your own Enneagram type can offer insights into your parenting style and tendencies.
Through real-life examples and practical tips, Vrin provides a roadmap for parents to navigate the challenges of raising teens with mindfulness and empathy.
Topics in this episode include:
How to use the Enneagram as a tool for understanding personal motivations and reactivity. How the Enneagram differs from other personality frameworks by focusing on inner motivations rather than behaviors. The nine Enneagram types, and how each type's basic desires and fears influence behavior. The importance of self-awareness and compassion in managing your reactions and understanding others. Practical ways to use the Enneagram to improve your parenting skills, specifically in becoming a more composed and less reactive parent to your teenager.--
Vrindavan (Vrin) Rao is a Leadership & Mindfulness Coach who specializes in helping individuals, parents, groups, and teams to decrease their emotional reactivity and overcome self-sabotaging tendencies. She uses the framework of the Enneagram, yoga psychology, and meditation practices to help others solve the question of, "Why do I get in my own way?"
Vrin is also a meditation teacher and a lifelong practitioner of nada yoga (the yoga of sound), japa yoga (the yoga of meditative mantra recitation), and kirtan yoga.
She has been featured in over twenty podcasts, has been an expert contributor to Career Contessa and Girlboss, and was selected as one of the top meditation coaches by Coach Foundation in 2022.Website: www.illuminate.nyc
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/illuminate.nyc/
Enneagram Consultation (figure out your Type and/or learn more about it): [email protected]Receive reflections, and prompts and be the first one to hear about upcoming workshops and events here: https://app.flodesk.com/form/5f3a97529cf975002baa09fd/build
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Teenage rebellion. It's practically a cliché, right? Grumpy teenagers slamming doors, staying out late, and making questionable choices. But what if the reality is more nuanced than that?
In this episode, we'll explore the true nature of teenage rebellion, debunking myths and stereotypes along the way. I’ll talk about the different forms rebellion can take, and the underlying reasons why teens might act out.
I’ll also offer practical tips on how to navigate this challenging phase with their teens.
Here's what you can expect to learn:
5 Signs of a Rebellious Teenager: Not all rebellion is obvious. We'll discuss some of the subtle signs that your teen might be struggling. Why Do Teenagers Rebel?: It's not just about being difficult! We'll explore the biological, social, and emotional factors that contribute to teenage rebellion. Tips for Dealing with a Rebellious Child or Teenager: We'll offer practical advice on how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and build a stronger relationship with your teen.--
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You know how a total stranger can rub you the wrong way? You can feel put off by them, even if there's no obvious reason for it.
Fun fact: In the early days of my Yoga Teacher Training, we had to do this really uncomfortable exercise in which all 25 of us walked around a room without talking.
After about a minute, we put our hand on the shoulder of someone who "rubbed us the wrong way" — someone we were triggered by, for some reason. Then we did the same thing with someone we felt comfortable around.
(I repeat: This was uncomfortable! Who wants people to know what you think of them, especially if it's negative?)
But the reflection was: "What is it in each of these people that I see in myself?"
Because in reality, everyone is a mirror to you. Everything you can see in other people, you can see in yourself. And if something you see triggers you in a negative way, it's something you (probably subconsciously) don't like about yourself.
This episode is about shining a light on those subconscious thoughts, so you don't have to be at their whim anymore — and so you can stop being triggered by your teen.
Here's what's inside:
How subconscious thoughts work and influence your parenting Steps to bring awareness to these hidden patterns Ways to improve the interactions you have with your teensFree resource for parents: How to Stop Being Triggered by Your Teenager
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Today's guest, Psychotherapist and Coach TJ Matton, is sharing what play really is, and why everyone - adults included - needs it!
She defines "play" to clarify that it's not just one kind of behavior, but a state of being in the body.
And it's a primal drive, just like hunger, thirst, and sleep. While we can't avoid this drive in our bodies, culturally, we really suppress play - which is why people need help re-engaging it.
Listen to find out:
What the play state has to do with learning, safety, and fear What happens in the nervous system during the play state How parents can best help their teens engage in the play state (without accidentally pushing them into the fight/flight state) Why ask "When's the last time you felt free" and what to do with your answer What life-changing benefits you'll get when you have more play in your life!--
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About TJ
TJ Matton is a social worker, psychotherapist, coach, and educator focused on helping adults learn to liberate their minds and bodies through play. TJ’s business, The Playful Revolution, is focused on helping people understand the neuroscience of play and reconnect with the power and joy of play. Play liberates and gives us permission to embrace the ups and downs of life rather than brace for them. Play is a primal need of the human body and is the neglected side of mindfulness. TJ helps people find enjoyment in the everyday, playful ways to manage stress, and empowering ways to greater fulfillment.
https://www.theplayfulrevolution.com/quiz-play-personality
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In this episode, we delve into the prevalent issue of loneliness among teenagers and the often-overlooked isolation that parents experience while navigating the challenging journey of parenting teens.
Topics discussed include:
Reasons behind the rising tide of loneliness in teens, from the impact of technology to the intricate process of identity formation. Factors contributing to parental loneliness, such as dwindling social interactions, evolving dynamics with parent friends, and the changing interests of growing teens. Practical strategies to combat loneliness. From fostering meaningful in-person connections to trying new hobbies and limiting social media use, discover actionable steps to bring more connection and fulfillment into your life.--
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