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Most relationship advice is tailored to heterosexual folks. And while some of that is also applicable queer relationships, not all of it is. Queer relationships are unique and therefore need relationship advice that’s tailored to them. My guest today has a forthcoming book that offers a relationship guide for gay men, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show.
I am joined by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, and author of the book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment, which will be published in March 2025.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What are the unique stages that gay men’s relationships go through?What’s the deal with gay men and “daddy issues?”For gay men who struggle to make a relationship last beyond the honeymoon stage, what do they need to know?How can understanding your attachment style help in navigating dating and relationships?How do you find a sex or relationship therapist who is knowledgable and gay-affirming?You can learn more by checking out the Queer Relationship Institute’s Linktree.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Financial domination or findom involves a submissive (usually a man) who gives money or control of their finances to a dominant partner (usually a woman). The sub is not expecting anything in return—it’s about submitting, giving up control, sometimes being humiliated, and being aroused by all of this. So why are people into findom, and why does it seem to be growing in popularity?
My guest today is Jessica van Meir, a PhD candidate at the Harvard Kennedy School who studies sex work. Jessica is co-founder of MintStars, a subscription platform for content creators, models, and their fans. She also co-authored a chapter in the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century that explores the rise of financial kinks.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
Who’s into findom and why?How is findom similar to or different from sugar dating?What’s the connection between findom, our growing economic crises, and capitalism?How can findom serve as a way of coping with financial precarity?How does findom both challenge and reinforce traditional gender power dynamics?To learn more about Jessica, follow her on the socials at @jessicavanmeir.bsky.social
You can get 30% off Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order!
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Puuttuva jakso?
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These days, it seems like sex is everywhere you look. We live in a very pornified culture in many ways, but it wasn’t always like this. So what changed? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of “raunch culture.” Some of the topics we’ll discuss include the effects of living in a hypersexualized society, the mixed messages that women receive about sex, and why raunch culture and purity culture co-exist.
I am joined once again by Dr. Bernadette Barton, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century. She is also author of the book The Pornification of America. Her research and teaching explore contemporary issues of gender, sexuality, religion, culture, happiness, and the sex industry.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What is “raunch culture?”When and why did our culture start to become so highly pornified?Is raunch culture empowering to women?Is the hypersexualization of society a sign of sex-positivity?Raunch culture and purity culture seem at odds with one another, so how do they exist simultaneously?You can get 30% off Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Sugar dating typically involves an older, wealthy person who financially supports a younger, attractive partner in exchange for companionship and intimacy, and sometimes sex. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the growing popularity of sugar dating and the unique grey area that it occupies in between traditional dating and sex work.
My guest is Dr. Bernadette Barton, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century. Her research and teaching explore contemporary issues of gender, sexuality, religion, culture, happiness, and the sex industry.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What are some common examples of sugaring arrangements?How is sugar dating different from traditional dating?Is sugar dating sex work?What’s the legal status of sugar dating?Who holds the power in sugar dating relationships?You can get 30% off Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order!
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Romantic comedies are one of the most popular film genres. But how accurate are rom-coms in the way they portray sex, love, and relationships? My guests today are the hosts of a new podcast that uses the science of relationships to separate fact from fiction in some of the biggest rom-coms of all time. We’re going to explore some of the things that Hollywood gets right and wrong in the way they depict relationships.
I am joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick and Dr. Eli Finkel. Dr. Eastwick is a Professor at the University of California, Davis, where he studies romantic attraction and close relationships. Dr. Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University and author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, which we discussed back in Episode 45. Together, they co-host the Love Factually podcast.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
In movies, partners often meet as strangers and fall in love. Is this how relationships typically start in real life?Falling in love at first sight is a common theme in rom-coms. But what does the science say about this?Opposites often attract on screen, but is that also true IRL?What are some things films often get wrong about sex?Is it necessarily a bad thing if rom coms aren’t always accurate?You can check out the Love Factually podcast website to learn and listen more.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Our sexuality is something that evolves and changes over time. However, traditional sex education does a poor job of preparing us for those changes. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to stay sexually healthy for your entire life. We’re going to explore what people at different stages of life need to know, why maintaining sexual health is so important, tips for navigating low sexual desire, and so much more.
I am joined once again by Dr. Evelin Dacker, who is the creator of the STARS framework for sexual communication, which we discussed in depth in the last episode. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What are the key things young adults should know about staying sexually healthy?How can we effectively communicate with our partners about sexual difficulties when they arise?What do mid-life and older adults need to know about maintaining a healthy sex life?How do you maintain a healthy sex life when your sexual desire (or your partner’s desire) declines?How do you talk to your doctor about sex?You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Most of us recognize how important sexual communication is, yet we still struggle with it. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss a practical framework for improving your sexual communication skills. It’s called the STARS method. Using this technique will help you and your partner(s) to better understand each other and lay the groundwork for hot and healthy intimate encounters.
My guest is Dr. Evelin Dacker, the creator of the STARS method. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. Her unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What does STARS stand for? What are the key things we should be discussing with our partners?How can we go about discovering our turn-ons and communicating them effectively?How do you tell your partner about the things you don’t want and communicate your boundaries?How do you make discussions about sexual health and STIs easier?Why is it important to communicate your relationship intentions, and how do you do this?You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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The clitoris is a piece of anatomy that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the history of the clitoris and what you need to know about it. We’ll also explore whether there’s really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms, the surprising role of testosterone in clitoral health, and how recent research has completely changed our understanding of clitoral anatomy.
I am joined once again by Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
When did people first start recognizing the importance of the clitoris in female sexual pleasure?Why did it take so long for us to develop a basic understanding of clitoral anatomy?How many nerve ending are in the clitoris?How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help improve women’s sexual health and pleasure?Are there really different “types” of female orgasm?You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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The vulva is one of the most misunderstood pieces of sexual anatomy. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about what you don’t know about the vulva. Among other things, we’ll discuss the lifespan of the vulva, the importance of maintaining vulvar health, and how sex education is failing us all when it comes to understanding the vulva.
My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues.
Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:
What is the difference between the vulva and the vagina?Are doctors learning enough about the vulva?How does the vulva evolve and change with age?How can paying attention to vulvar health improve overall wellbeing?How do you maintain a happy and healthy vulva?You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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For as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having kinky sex. So let’s talk about our kinky history and how it can help us to better understand sexuality today. In this episode, we’re going to explore the roots of a number of popular fetishes, including leather, nylon, and feet. We’re also going to talk about the history of porn, including the rise of animated porn in popular culture.
I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.
Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:
How did leather and nylon come to be associated with sex in the first place?When and why did foot fetishes start to become popular?When did humans start making porn?Historically, why was porn often used for political purposes?When did cartoon/animated porn begin to rise in popularity?You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Sex toys are far from a modern invention. Humans have actually been making them for millennia! So let’s dive into the fascinating history of sex toys. In today’s show, we’ll tell you about the oldest dildo ever discovered, the true story behind the invention of the vibrator, and so much more.
I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.
Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:
How long have humans been using sex toys?When did people start mass-producing dildos?When was the vibrator invented, and why were the first versions geared toward men?When were cock rings first developed and what were they like?What did people use for contraception before condoms or birth control pills existed?You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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How do you create a lasting connection with a partner and sustain passion in a relationship over time? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the secrets you need to know for cultivating hotter and healthier sex lives. By following these tips, you can learn to have the kind of sex that we all really want to be having, which is where it feels almost effortless because you’re totally in synch with your partner.
I am joined once again by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion.
Some of the specific topics we discuss include:
Why is curiosity an important element of great sex?How do you build up the courage to try something new if that sounds a little scary or stressful to you?How can you learn to become more adaptable in the bedroom?Why is vulnerability important for having great sex?What is attunement, and how can we become more attuned to our partners during sex?You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @DrEmilyJamea.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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One of the most common sex problems people report today is that they can’t seem to clear their mind during sex. They find themselves distracted or they’re multi-tasking, and this is getting in the way of their pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss why this problem is on the rise and what we can do about it. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to have embodied sex, which is the kind of sex that allows us to get out of our heads and into the moment.
I am joined by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion.
Some of the specific topics we discuss include:
How is our modern world making it harder for us to be present during sex?What is a “flow state,” and why is this an important element of good sex?How can we learn to become more embodied during sex?What are some everyday ways to practice embodiment?How can we leverage the power of touch to enhance sex and relationships?You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Social media has permeated many aspects of our lives, including our intimate lives. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the good, bad, and ugly of how social media has changed dating. Some of the topics we explore include how social media can stoke relationship insecurity and undermine authentic connection, as well as why social media is increasingly a terrible place to learn about relationships. We’ll also consider tips for using social media in healthier ways.
I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.”
Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:
How can social media increase uncertainty about whether someone is really interested in you?How is the fact that people are constantly posting private details of their lives changing the way we’re approaching dating?When do social media interactions cross the line into cheating?Are there any ways that social media can be good for relationships?How can we use social media in a more mindful way?You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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What do young adults today want from sex and relationships? And how is this different compared to generations past? To answer these questions, we’re going to dive into The State of Dating Report, a collaborative scientific analysis from the Kinsey Institute and Feeld, the dating app for the curious. We’re going to discuss why younger adults are having less sex overall but more kinky sex, how preferences for different types of relationships vary across generations, and more.
I am joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.”
Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:
Why Gen Z is having less sex and fewer relationships compared to generations past.Why younger adults are more interested in monogamy than older adults.Why kinky sex is on the rise in Gen Z.How the sexual fantasies of younger and older adults compare.Why rates of LGBTQ+ identification are rising among young adults.You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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In today’s show, we’re answering more of your sex questions! This is our third dive into some of the questions that have come through our listener voicemail. I’m going to answer three of them that I thought were super interesting.
Our first question is about whether libido is genetically determined, so we’ll look at what the science says about the degree to which genetics control our sexual desire.The second question deals with a male listener who has difficulty reaching orgasm, so we’ll talk about tips for managing that.Finally, a listener asked about how to boost sexual desire in post-menopausal women, so we’ll explore what you need to know about that with an assist from Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a practicing gynecologist and a North American Menopause Society Certified Clinician. Dr. Minkin was a previous guest on episode 334: How To Have a Happy Vagina.If you have questions you’d like to have answered on the show, you can send me a podcast voicemail of your own at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. You can do it from your computer or from your phone, so keep sending those questions in!
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Sexual desire is complex. Scientists can’t even agree on a definition of it, let alone whether and how it is distinct from arousal. In today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations of all time on the show, which offers a deep dive into the science behind women’s sexual desire. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include how to treat problems with low desire, why monogamy is so hard on desire, as well as why wanting to be wanted is so vital to feeling desire.
My guest is Dr. Marta Meana, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. The author of numerous academic publications and two books, her research has focused on genital pain in women, as well as female sexual desire.
Some of the topics we explore include:
Diversity in how sexual desire is experienced.Why long-term monogamy is hard on sexual desire for everyone, but especially for women.Whether it’s possible to maintain both intense intimacy and intense passion at the same time.Why women are more likely than men to see themselves as the object of desire in their fantasies.How having more erotic self-focus can benefit women’s sex lives.Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Thank you to our sponsors!
Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.
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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest
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A growing number of people seem to be hitting the pause button on their sex lives, which is why terms like “volcel” (short for voluntary celibacy) and “boysober” are trending on social media. So what’s this all about? Why is not having sex the hot new sex trend? Let’s talk about it. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of voluntary celibacy and what you need to know about it.
I am joined once again by Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025.
Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:
What does it really mean to be voluntarily celibate?Why might someone choose to take a break from sex for a while?Why does voluntary celibacy seem to be more popular among women than men?What are the potential benefits and challenges of celibacy?If you’re taking a break from sex, how can you make the most of it?You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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If you had to define “good sex” in just three words, what would they be? In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the key things that come to mind when people are asked this question. There are 20 common responses to this, which constitute the main ingredients of the kind of sex we all want to be having. We’re going to dive into some of those ingredients and talk about tips for how to incorporate them into your sex life so that you can experience more pleasure, connectedness, and fun in the bedroom.
My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled Good Sex will be published in February 2025.
Some of the specific topics we discuss include:
Why is it useful to think about sex as being akin to cooking?What are some of the key ingredients, seasonings, and spices that make for good sex?How can we make sex fun again?How can we experience more connectedness to ourselves during sex?How can we get better at communicating about sex?You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.
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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Many women don’t know what they really need to know about maintaining good vaginal health, which leads some of them to turn to products and practices that might do more harm than good. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to have a happy and healthy vagina. Specifically, we’ll explore how your lifestyle impacts your vaginal health, how to maintain the proper pH balance for your vagina, tips for dealing with vaginal dryness, what you need to know about feminine hygiene products, and more.
My guest today is Mary Jane Minkin, a practicing gynecologist and a North American Menopause Society Certified Clinician. She has taught at Yale School of Medicine for more than 41 years, and is a clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences.
Some of the specific topics we discuss include:
What are some common lifestyle factors that can impact vaginal health?How would someone know if their vaginal pH balance was out of whack?How do vaginal hygiene products impact vaginal health?What causes vaginal dryness, and what are some practical ways of dealing with this for both younger and older women?How do you choose the contraceptive that’s right for you and your body?You can check out Dr. Minkin’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors!
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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