![8 lessons learnt in 8 years of marriage [Lesson 8]](https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts116/v4/74/f2/06/74f2066a-6886-2219-4dfa-fa22019e7e5c/mza_1449040564535330447.jpg/250x250bb.jpg)
Episodit
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Listen to this Voice Note from Maryam onApple Podcasts || Spotify || YouTube
A lot of people today think that they NEED therapy. This is mainly due to the high-stress lives weโre living, but therapy isnโt a NEED for everyone. Itโs a nice-to-have for everyone. In fact, itโs a strong nice-to-have. But is it a NEED? I doubt it is.
Now, are there cases where people do NEED therapy? Of course! 100% yes!
This voice note is not for those who do need therapy. Please, please seek the help you need from a professional. Ok?
This voice note is for the rest of us who think we need therapy.
Cool? Cool.
Also, by the way, if your primary care provider says you do need therapy but can't afford it yet, journaling can be a great first step.
Think you need therapy?
So, why do โthe rest of usโ think we need therapy?
* Weโre stressed out!!!
* Our mental health is lowkey falling apartโฆ
* Weโre spiralling
* We need to process our emotions or unpack stuff, because โwhat is all this?โ
* Weโre stuck and want to find clarity on our next steps
* We want a safe space to feel heard with zero judgment
If youโre nodding along to these points, this voice note is for you.
The power of journaling
The good news is that journaling can help you with all the points above. Here are 6 ways I use journaling to get similar results. Not the same, but similar.
* Journaling for Stress ReliefI recently learned that the stress we feel is not always due to the situation at hand. We usually feel stress because we donโt know how to cope. My husband for example is so chill when something happens because he believes most things have a solution, but my brain sees many situations as a threat to my entire existence. What journaling does is, it helps me break down my stressors and see them from a different perspective. Is my homeschool REALLY falling apart? Am I REALLY messing my kids up forever? Is the workload REALLY going to make me lose my mind? Journaling helps me talk back to the stressful situation and channel my inner chill.
* Journaling for Mental WellbeingWriting down my thoughts and feelings gives me a clearer picture of my mental state. Itโs like having a conversation with myself, and sometimes, thatโs all I need to feel a bit better. When Iโm feeling stuck and my mental health feels kinda mental, the process of writing things out feels like someone is holding up a mirror to help me see a way out, to remind me to be grateful, to remind me to call on Allah.
* Journaling When Iโm SpirallingSpiraling is โa cycle of negative thought patterns that can escalate and become overwhelmingโ. This is my internal state a lot of the time, especially around that time of the month. Before I know it, Iโm imagining worst-case scenarios for everything! So when I feel like Iโm spiraling, journaling acts as a grounding tool to remind me to be here now. I write and write and write down those overwhelming thoughts, and somehow, writing them down with pen and paper helps me slow down and think more rationally. I usually end the journaling session with โHereโs what I think the problem is, and hereโs a solution I could try. Ya Allah, help meโฆโ
* Journaling to Process EmotionsIโm usually quiet when I get offended, but my brain does not stop! I have used journaling to unpack some deep feelings of envy, anger, hurt, rejectionโฆ We all have those moments when we feel big emotions inside and donโt know what to do with them. Journaling gives me space (and time) to analyze, step-by-step, whatโs under the big feelings. A few years ago, I felt envy which I knew had no place in my heart. I was so bothered by it and started journaling. Then I realized I felt envious because there were things I wanted for myself but in reality, I wasnโt working towards those things, so I put my big girl pants on and got to work! And alhamdulillah thatโs history now.
* Journaling to Find ClarityWhenever Iโm stuck or confused about my next steps, about a big decision, about lifeโs big changesโฆ I turn to my journal. Writing helps me map out my thoughts and make more informed decisions. It slows my thoughts down enough to write out a pros and cons list and then write out the best-case scenario which gives me something to make duโa for.
* Journaling When You Need a Safe SpaceMy journal is my safe space and has been ever since I was little. Itโs a place where I can be completely honest with myself, without fear of being judged. Itโs like having a conversation with a non-judgmental friend. Sometimes when I write my heart out, like the deeper things, I end up ripping up the page afterwards so thereโs no trace of it left, haha. Journaling is my go-to because I need safe spaces more often than any human would be comfortable giving me.
All of this to sayโฆ
If youโve ruled out any mental health crisis where professional help is needed, but you still feel the need to work through stuff, I highly suggest you consider journaling. Therapy and journaling can accomplish similar goals: providing a safe space, being non-judgmental, giving you permission to feel, and offering space to cry.
A good therapist doesnโt give you answers or solve your problems, by the way โ they believe that you have what it takes to get to the other side, and they support you as you take the steps towards that.
Journaling achieves a similar goal!
Next steps
If thereโs only one thing youโre taking away from this, please give journaling a try.
Start a journaling habit and see how it works for you.
Let me know if youโd like a breakdown of HOW I journal, I would love to support you as you start or improve your journaling journey.
And hey, you know that friend whoโs always stressed out and always in their feelings? I think theyโll like this voice note. Please do share it with them.
Thanks for listening! If you found this voice note helpful, please hit the heart or thumbs-up button, and donโt forget to subscribe for more Voice Notes from Maryam.
Happy journaling!
Love + DuโaMaryam
What Iโm working on
Believe it or not friends, Iโm working on putting myself out there a teeny bit more. For now, that looks like speaking on more podcasts! Cue internal screams from the introvert in me.
Do you know any cool podcasts you think Iโd be a good fit for? If yes, let me know and Iโll reach out to them! Bonus points if you know the podcast host and can do the introduction :)
What Iโm reading
Even though Iโm not allowing myself any new books for the rest of 2024, I totally just bought Teaching From Rest because everything about the book speaks to the current state of my homeschool-mama heart.
A few days ago, I was doing sit-down work (math) with one of my Littles, and they started crying because they felt pressured! Thatโs a HUGE homeschool red flag for me, and that tells me itโs time to drop everything and reassess my approach to stuff. It gets hard sometimes but it showed me that I have NOT been teaching my children from a place of rest. Iโm looking forward to gaining some perspective from the book inshaAllah.
Iโm the type of homeschool Mama who panics about falling behind but is also 100% sure theyโll โcatch upโ inshaAllah. Weโll be alright. Math can wait for a bit inshaAllah.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
Assalamu alaykum dear friends! Todayโs Letter isnโt actually a letter ๐ itโs a perfectly imperfect heart-to-heart Voice Note from Maryam!
It took multiple attempts to record itโฆ multiple attempts to edit itโฆ and multiple attempts to convince myself to publish it anywayโฆ but Alhamdulillah, we did it!
Iโm looking forward to reading your thoughts on it in my inbox or the comments inshaAllah.
Listen on Spotify | Listen on Apple Podcasts
Please remember me and my family in duโa ๐ธ
Love + Duโa,Maryam
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
Puuttuva jakso?
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Assalamu alaykum, friends!
_
The other day, I picked up my pen (keyboard) and wrote in my journalโฆ
โShould I ask Allah to reduce how much I love?โ
I knew I was hurting inside becauseโฆ what is this deep question, please? ๐
Listen to my Sunday Morning think-out-loud to find out how Iโm trying to navigate (instead of fight) my heart for loving a little too deep, too much, too fast.
_
May Allah control all our hearts, forgive our shortcomings, and may He bless us with the best in dunya and akhirah.
May Ash-Shakoor help us renew our intentions multiple times every day, and may He save our reward for us.
May we be of benefit to the ummah, and may Allah love us, always.
Ameen.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
Life can throw unexpected challenges our way, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to cope. In this episode, I share a personal journey that starts with a dental appliance and leads to powerful life lessons that apply to us all.Join us as we navigate the emotions of a child struggling with a new dental appliance, and learn valuable insights about patience, trust, and perspective.We draw inspiration from the Quran, reminding ourselves that Allah's wisdom is beyond our comprehension. We explore the importance of staying patient during life's storms and how these trials will eventually lead to growth and appreciation.Whether you're dealing with family challenges, financial difficulties, or career struggles, the 3 tools shared will provide you with the strength to face adversity, bi idhnillah. Remember, Allah won't leave you in pain without reason, and there is goodness in every test He gives us.May Allah grant you patience, ease your burdens, and guide you through every hardship. Ameen!Links:Maktabah (Book Club)Join my Substack newsletterSign up for the 12 Week Du'a Free Crash CourseCome say Salam on Threads
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
Join me on a transformative journey of exploring life from the deep end!
In this episode, I share personal stories and reflections on moving beyond the shallow-end mindset. Just like learning to swim confidently, we'll discover how to approach our deen, relationships, health, and wealth with intention and excellence.
Discover the power of one stroke at a time, whether it's deepening your faith, nurturing relationships, prioritizing your health, or taking bold steps in your career as a Muslim woman.
Life may sometimes challenge us, but with patience and perseverance, we'll dive into the depths of our potential.
Like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring content.
May Allah bless you with abundance and strength in every aspect of your life. Ameen.
* Join my Substack newsletter: https://sistersflourish.substack.com
* Sign up for the 12-Week Du'a Free Crash Course: https://www.sistersflourish.com/crashcourse
* Come say Salam on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sisters_flourish
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
I went on a scary walk a few days ago.
It was an icy winter trail and I was scared to slip and fall.
I was scared some animal would come out of the forest and jump at me.
It was dark, so I needed a flashlight but my phone battery was low.
I wanted others to help me, I could see them, but they were way ahead.
My heart was racing, my eyes wide openโฆ
Listen to this episode where I share my adventure, but also what I learned.
And our Lord is forgiving and merciful โค๏ธ
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
We have a lot of tabs open in our brains all the time.
Iโm sure we all agree that our brains were not built to take so much pressure, so much workload, so much stress, so much stuff(!)โฆ and to keep all those tabs open in our brains at the same time!
This voice note is my invitation to you.
Donโt forget to make duโa for the things on your brain-dump list, your today-list, and your right-now list :)
Remember, youโre allowed to rest and recharge when you need to.
May Allah ease your affairs, beautiful.
With lots of love and a truckload of duโaMaryam
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com -
Lesson 8: Duโa
Bismillah.
With no plan, no script, and no idea what Iโd end up talking about, I decided to record (instead of write) the final lesson in the โ8 lessons in 8 yearsโ series.
So you get to hear my super imperfect podcast, and Iโm totally fine with that. I think. InshaAllah the next episode will be better. (I need topic suggestions btw, thankyouuu!
In this episode, I spoke about duโa and how we need to make duโa for our marriage too.
Allah is so near and He wants us to ask Him โค๏ธ
Hereโs the duโa I mentioned:
It is related that Abdullah ibn Masโud (ุฑุถู ุงููู ุนูู) used to use these supplications a lot:
ุงููููููู ูู ุฃูููููู ุจููููู ูููููุจูููุงุ ููุฃูุตูููุญู ุฐูุงุชู ุจูููููููุงุ ููุงููุฏูููุง ุณูุจููู ุงูุณููููุงู ูุ ููููุฌููููุง ู ููู ุงูุธููููู ูุงุชู ุฅูููู ุงูููููุฑูุ ููุฌููููุจูููุง ุงููููููุงุญูุดู ู ูุง ุธูููุฑู ู ูููููุง ููู ูุง ุจูุทูููุ ููุจูุงุฑููู ููููุง ููู ุฃูุณูู ูุงุนูููุงุ ููุฃูุจูุตูุงุฑูููุงุ ูููููููุจูููุงุ ููุฃูุฒูููุงุฌูููุงุ ููุฐูุฑูููููุงุชูููุงุ ููุชูุจู ุนูููููููุง ุฅูููููู ุฃูููุชู ุงูุชูููููุงุจู ุงูุฑููุญููู ูุ ููุงุฌูุนูููููุง ุดูุงููุฑูููู ููููุนูู ููู ู ูุซูููููู ุจูููุง ุนูููููููุ ููุงุจูููููู ููููุงุ ููุฃูุชูู ูู ูููุง ุนูููููููุง
Allahumma allif baina qulubina, wa aslih dhata bainina, wahdina subulas-salam, wa-najjina minad-dhulumati ilan-noor, wa jannibnal-fawahisha ma dhahara minha wa-ma batana, wa barik lana fi asmaina, wa absarina, wa qulubina, wa azwajina, wa dhurriyyatina, wa tub โalaina innaka anta-Tawwabur-Rahim, wa-jโalna shaakireena liniโmik muthneena biha โalaik, qaabi-lina laha, wa ati-mimha โalaina
O Allah! Reconcile our hearts, amend what is between us, guide us to the paths of peace, save us from the darkness [and admit us] to light, and save us from obscenities, inwardly or outwardly, and bless our hearing, seeing, hearts, spouses and offspring. And accept our repentance, indeed You are the Ever Accepting of Repentance, the Merciful, and make us thankful for Your favors. All praise is due to You. Accept our good deeds and complete them for us.
P.S. Jazakallah khair to the lovely ladies who agreed to listen to the podcast and gave their beautiful feedback and encouragement. I appreciate you more than you know.
With lots of love and a truckload of duโa,Maryam
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com
