Episodit
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Join me for an in-depth interview with Suzanne Venker as we explore her latest book 'How to Build a Better Life.' We discuss the pitfalls of modern dating, the essential role of motherhood, and why a fulfilling life often means going against the grain. Suzanne shares her insights on why women shouldn’t chase men, the importance of dating with purpose, and why careers might not be the ultimate path to happiness.We also tackle the controversial topic of casual sex and delve into the fundamental differences between men and women. This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone looking to redefine what it means to live a successful life! 🚀💫
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Nir Boms, a research fellow of the Moshe Dayan Center specializing in Middle Eastern policy and counter-terrorism.
We spoke about:
* The tragic events of October 7th
* The Abraham Accords & progress with Saudi Arabia
* Iran's role in instigating terrorism
* Deradicalization of Palestinians
* The Jewish legacy of hope and praying for peace
* A hopeful vision for a peaceful Middle East
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
Puuttuva jakso?
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In today's episode, I spoke with Helen Joyce, journalist and author of 'Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality'.
We dove into the transgender debate, uncovering key elements of the trans ideology and the harmful effects of gender affirmative care.
Here are some key points we discussed:
1. Gender identity vs. biological sex: What each means and why they're not the same.
2. Origin of the term 'gender': Exploring where the term came from, why it's useful, and where it allows us to distort our biological reality.
3. Paradox of gender stereotypes: How trans individuals embody stereotypes while claiming gender isn't binary.
4. Abstract vs. concrete: The Jungian idea that it is dangerous to turn what is symbolic into the concrete.
5. Gender clinics: The harmful practices of gender specialists and the slippery slope of puberty blockers, hormones, and invasive surgeries.
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6. Parents are terrorized: Parents are told that their child will commit suicide if the parent does not affirm their child's preferred genders.
7. Types of transgender: Exploring androphilia and autogynephilia among men, and rapid-onset gender dysphoria and social contagion among teenage girls.
8. Social media's effect on girls: Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Tumblr are spreading trans ideology to vulnerable teenage girls. *
9. Fan Fiction Trend: The new trend of erotic fan fiction written by teenage girls for teenage girls, with romantic love stories between male characters from popular books (think a romance story between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter!)
10. Trans rights vs. women's rights: Men identifying as trans women are impinging on women's sports and endangering women in prisons.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below 💭
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This episode was recorded on February 22nd, 2024.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I dive deep into the fascinating world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) with returning guest Seth Allison.
We explore Richard Schwartz's groundbreaking book "No Bad Parts," tracing the history and development of IFS, particularly its origins with eating disordered patients, and the paradigm shift it introduces away from a mono-mind approach.
We delve into the core components of IFS, exploring the distinct roles of Exiles, Firefighters, and Protectors. According to IFS - there are no bad parts, only bad roles. To make it more personal, I share my initial encounter with IFS and the profound impact it had on me.
Join me as Seth Allison guides me through an insightful IFS session, as I meet and interact with an internal Protector.
If you're curious about unlocking the mysteries of your inner world and understanding the dynamics of Internal Family Systems, this episode is a must-watch! Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments below. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Bettina Arndt, delving into the often-overlooked issue of an anti-male culture shaped by evolving feminist dynamics since the 1960s.
* Anti-Men Culture: Explore how empowering women inadvertently led to an anti-male philosophy, leaving some men feeling powerless in a system stacked against them.
* Sex in Marriage: Drawing from her book "Sex Diaries", Bettina shared the secrets of couples who maintain vital sex lives, and the more frequent issue of sex-starved husbands and the emotional toll.
* Toxic Femininity: We spoke about Bettina's popular "Politics of Cleavage" video, where she discusses the power of female sexuality, and how women should use this power wisely - instead of making men feel like creeps.
Share your thoughts in the comments below and continue the conversation. I love hearing from you! 💬
Bettina Arndt is a rare public voice speaking on behalf of men – and the women who love them. This respected social commentator is renowned for tackling unmentionable topics. A former clinical psychologist and one of Australia’s first sex therapists, she first became well-known for breaking down taboos about talking about sex. She now writes an influential blog on Substack denouncing feminism and advocating for men’s rights, as well as providing support for falsely accused men on campuses and elsewhere.
For more of Bettina’s work:
* Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles
* #MenToo
* Bettina's Substack
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Leonard Sax about his book 'Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men'.
Leonard Sax is an American psychologist and a practicing family physician. He is best known as the author of four books for parents: Boys Adrift, Girls on the Edge, Why Gender Matters, and the Collapse of Parenting.
Highlights
* 00:00 Intro
* 6:52 Factor 1: Schools
* 23:27 Motivation & Personality
* 33:52 Factor 2: Video Games
* 41:40 Roni's World of Warcraft Days
* 53:07 Factor 3: ADHD Meds
* 1:06:44 Factor 4: Endocrine Disruptors
* 1:13:37 Factor 5: Male Role Models
* 1:21:32 Don't Let Toxic Pop Culture Raise Your Children
* 1:23:55 Where You Can Find Leonard's Work
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In today’s episode, I spoke with Seth Allison, a licensed clinical professional counselor and founder of the Grow Collective, a growth-focused collective of psychologists. We spoke about his latest conversation with John Vervaeke and the unique perspectives he shared there about attachment and relationality.
We dove into attachment theory, how humans are built for connection, and the visceral experience of being loved and seen by an intimate other. Seth has a very nuanced perspective on attachment, and we explored what happens when the early attachment relationship between parent and child is disrupted, and whether we should regard our attachment style as a lifetime diagnosis.
We spoke about monogamy, Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, and why conflicts between couples tend to be so explosive. We explored Sue’s idea of primary and secondary emotions, and how in most fights, we often use anger to mask how terrified we are of being abandoned by our partner.
Towards the end of our conversation, we spoke about intergenerational trauma, how insecure attachment is often passed down from generation to generation, and what we need to do to break the cycle. We discussed the role of warfare in the perpetuation of insecure attachment and I shared my newfound understanding of grief. Ultimately, the price of love and attachment is the pain and grief of loss.
I hope you enjoy this episode. Seth and I will be recording another episode where we plan on exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Jung.
Let us know in the comments below if there are any questions you’d like us to answer in the next episode 💬
Seth is an attachment-based therapist, working with adults, couples, and families. For more information about Seth’s work and the Grow Collective, click here.
00:00 Intro & Seth’s Background
9:55 Humans Are Built for Connection
11:10 fMRI Study: Love Makes The World Less Painful
18:29 Are We Built for Monogamy?
22:38 Do Relationship Promote or Stifle Personal Growth?
30:14 Are Attachment Styles Real?
35:03 Attachment Parenting is Not Gentle Parenting
42:13 Changing Your Attachment Style through Relationship
48:40 EFT Couples Therapy & Why Fights Get So Intense
56:31 Secure Attachment Can Heal Intergenerational Trauma
59:58 Does Intergenerational Trauma Stem from War?
1:05:12 “I didn’t understand grief until I was married”
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Barbara Oakley about her work on pathological altruism and the dark side of empathy. Our discussion began by delving into Barbara's unique background and experiences, gaining valuable insights into her journey.
As the conversation unfolded, we addressed society's blindspot for pathological altruism, unraveling the Christian roots at the heart of our assumption that empathy for the weak and victimized is always good. The darker facets of empathy took center stage as we explored its potential for destructiveness in contexts such as codependency and abusive relationships. Our exploration extended to the cultural nuances surrounding altruism, shedding light on how its definition can significantly vary across diverse societies.
A focal point of our conversation was the vulnerability of highly agreeable individuals, particularly women, and their susceptibility to the influence of narcissistic personalities. We examined the potential harm in advising highly agreeable individuals to be more empathetic, since such a message can have a reinforcing effect on their self-sacrificing tendencies. Instead, agreeable people should be taught and encouraged to create healthy boundaries between themselves and others - boundaries that allow them to empathize with others without overidentifying and becoming consumed by others' feelings. We explored how Simon Baron Cohen's 'Empathizing - Systemizing' spectrum can be used to understand the characteristics of a hyper-empathizing brain type.
Our conversation extended to the influence of universities on ideologies, where we explored the promotion of Marxism, victimhood, and a pressure to conform to a perception of niceness. We also mentioned the overemphasis on teamwork in universities and its potential exploitation to the detriment of individual growth.
Lastly, we visited Ayn Rand's important work in warning the world of the dangers of socialism and misplaced altruism. Barbara shared some surprising facts about Ayn Rand's individualistic personality, which no doubt gave her the strength to speak out against the Soviet Union. We explored Ayn Rand's idea of selfishness and how a more expansive definition of the self can be used to integrate her philosophy with values such as relationships, family, and community.
I hope you enjoy this episode. Do let me know what you think about the dark side of empathy and agreeableness. Can you relate? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 💬
Barbara Ann Oakley is an American professor of engineering at Oakland University and McMaster University whose online courses on learning are some of the most popular massive open online course classes in the world. She is involved in multiple areas of research, ranging from behavioral science and STEM education, to learning practices.
🔗 Barbara's Website
Check out her books below:
📚 Cold Blooded Kindness
📚 Pathological Altruism
📚 Evil Genes
📚 Mindshift
00:00 Intro & Barbara's Journey
7:09 Why We Have a Blindspot for Pathological Altruism
8:35 Battered-Wives, Codependency, & When Empathy Turns Destructive
9:46 The Definition of Altruism Varies Across Cultures
11:46 Highly Agreeable Women Fall Prey to Narcissistic Men
17:41 Telling a Highly Agreeable Person to Be More Empathetic Can Be Harmful
19:34 Simon Baron Cohen's 'Empathizing - Systemizing' Spectrum
22:40 Why Empathy Isn't Always Good & When to Emotionally Disconnect
26:54 Healthy Balance Between Self-Interest & Empathizing w/ Others
29:14 Teamwork is Overemphasized & Taken Advantage of in Universities
31:18 Universities Push Marxism, Victimhood, & Always Being 'Nice'
32:06 Balancing Self & Other: What Did Ayn Rand Mean By Self Interest?
35:25 Marxism Doesn't Take Narcissists Into Account
37:55 Ayn Rand's Personality Gave Her Strength to Speak Out
40:31 Evidence that Ayn Rand Had a Narcissistic Personality Disorder
43:41 More Expansive Definition of Self: Me & Mine
44:18 Marxist Axioms: Selflessness is Good & We Can Change Human Nature
45:15 Case Study: Humanitarian Aid to Palestine Used for Terrorism
47:39 Confirmation Bias & Siding w/ the Underdog
50:06 Karl Popper's "Paradox of Tolerance"
51:53 Some People Care More About *Appearing* Good & Moral
54:19 Narcissists Like to Stick Together
55:16 Jordan Peterson's Research on Left-Wing Authoritarianism
56:24 How Do We Learn?
58:16 Practicing Is Good For Learning
1:00:23 Two Brain Networks & Modes of Thinking
1:02:02 Tedious Practice Can Lead to Mastery & Creativity
1:04:06 Applying These Strategies at Work & The Pomodoro Technique
1:07:30 Taking Breaks Increases Productivity & Insights
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Erica Komisar about her best-selling book 'Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters'. We started with a quick mention of Erica's recent speech at the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship (ARC) Conference organized by Jordan Peterson, where she spoke about the importance of a mother's love, presence, and emotional attunement in the first three years of a child's life.
Erica brought us into her world of attachment, child development, and psychoanalysis, and she explained why the maternal instinct is not 'a ploy devised by the patriarchy to keep women at home' - rather it is an ancient, in-built biological system, common to all mammals. Human babies are born especially vulnerable compared to other mammals, and they rely on their mother for moment-to-moment emotion regulation. Erica explained how the early attachment relationship between mother and baby affects that child's future attachment security, emotional resilience, and social skills.
We spoke about the negative consequences that daycare can have on children's mental and physical health, and why we need to rethink the way we look at daycare - in terms of the length of time a child spends each day in daycare and the age at which they begin. For example, children who went to daycare were shown to have elevated levels of salivary cortisol, a biomarker for stress, that's correlated with the development of diseases of inflammation later on. Erica explains how a toddler's aggressive behavior or constant acting out is often their fight-or-flight response to the overwhelming stress of being disconnected from their mothers for extended periods of time.
We discussed the difficulties of postpartum depression, how it is often related to a woman being emotionally disconnected and uninterested in her baby, and why so many women are suffering from postpartum depression these days.
We also gave a shout out to dads, highlighting the tremendous role that a father has in his child's development. We spoke about how mothers and fathers parent differently, why these differences are important, and why both roles are necessary. For instance - fathers are especially important for regulating a child's aggression, enforcing boundaries, and facilitating the child's gradual separation from the mother through rough-and-tumble play.
Lastly, we spoke about the important achievements of second wave feminism - and where we each thought the movement went wrong. We discussed the paradox of a feminist movement that fought for women's right to be just like men - while devaluing femininity as such. Erica and I hope to see the pendulum swing back into a more balanced direction! One where women can have it all, just in different ways at different times.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the topics we raised today - did you agree or disagree? Do you have any questions for Erica that you'd like us to explore in a future episode? Share your thoughts in the comments below 💬
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Erica Komisar is a licensed clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and author of two best-selling developmental psychology books.
Check out her books below:
📚 Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
📚 Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety
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00:00 Intro & Erica's ARC Conference Speech
5:00 Why Babies Need Their Mothers
14:30 Why Feminists Think the 'Maternal Instinct' is an Invention of the Patriarchy
18:12 When Mom Isn't There: Stress, Insecure Attachment, & Emotional Dysregulation
24:26 How Do I Know if Daycare is Negatively Affecting My Child?
28:01 A Toddler's Aggressive Behavior is a Fight or Flight Response
30:10 Do Children Need Daycare for the Socialization?
32:40 Genetics x Environment: Emotional Sensitivity Can Turn into Mental Illness
36:47 Causes of Postpartum Depression & Why It Takes a Village to Care for a Mother
45:02 Developing a Career Alongside Motherhood
50:30 The Important Role of Fathers
57:40 Where Feminism Went Wrong: Why Feminists are Against Motherhood
1:02:27 Should Everyone Have Children? How To Prepare for Motherhood
1:06:43 Where to Find More of Erica's Work
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Prof. Robert Plomin, a leading expert in psychology and behavioral genetics, and the author of "Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are." Through his research and best-selling book, Robert has made a strong case for the 'nature' side of the Nature vs. Nurture debate. We spoke at length about the significant role genetics play in shaping our personalities, behaviors, and preferences. It might be more than you think!
We kick off the episode exploring the misunderstood concept of heritability. Robert clarifies that heritability does not equal inevitability, shedding light on how genetic research focuses on 'what is', not 'what could be'. As we discussed the vast history of adoption and twin studies, we explored the roles that our genes and our environment have in shaping who we are. For example, adoption studies have consistently shown that adopted children had more in common with their biological parents than their adopted parents, suggesting that genes play a stronger role than the environment in shaping a child's personality and behavioral tendencies.
Robert shed light on the distinction between shared vs. non-shared environments and how individuals with distinct temperaments can shape their surroundings in quite unique ways. Even within the same family, siblings can elicit vastly different responses from their parents due to the differences in their genes and personality. We then dove into the world of personality, speaking about how genes show up in early temperament dimensions, such as a child's tendency to 'approach' or 'avoid', as well as in more developed traits such as extraversion and neuroticism.
Robert and I spoke about the research on IQ and genetics, noting the heritability and correlation of general intelligence 'g', school achievement, and other cognitive abilities. He explained the concept of 'generalist genes' and how - even though single-gene disorders do exist - more often than not genes are ‘generalists’, such that a single gene influences many traits & a single trait is often influenced by many genes.
With that in mind, we spoke about how psychopathologies are essentially extreme ends of normal personality traits. Rather than there being a 'distinct gene for schizophrenia', genetic research is showing that schizophrenia is highly correlated with the genetic roots of openness, creativity, and divergent thinking. We also spoke about how OCD can be thought of as an extreme manifestation of conscientiousness and orderliness, and ADHD can be thought of as extreme levels of activity, energy, and need for variety and movement.
For parents tuning in, we spoke at length about how this research can influence the way we parent. Robert emphasizes the importance of facilitating a child's natural development rather than molding them in a specific direction. Much of our child's personality, behaviors, and preferences are determined by their genetics. The best we can do is help them explore their innate interests and to develop their natural strengths as much as they can through practice and experience.
We finished off with DNA genotyping, polygenic scores, and services like 23andMe, Ancestry.com, and Stratagene to find out more about your own genetics.
Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how your genetic blueprint shapes who you are. If you're curious about personality, intelligence, and the broader implications of genetic science, this episode is a must-listen. Enjoy the journey into the fascinating world of behavioral genetics with Prof. Robert Plomin.
For more insights from Prof. Plomin, check out his work, and don't forget to subscribe for future episodes!
📚 Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are
Thank you for being part of The Bigger Picture community.
00:00 Genetics 101: What Does Heritability Actually Mean?
9:54 Twin & Adoption Studies
17:13 Genetics Matter More As We Age
19:03 Genetics Play a Big Role in IQ & Cognitive Abilities
22:10 The Race to University: We're Putting Too Much Pressure on Kids
23:47 A Message to Parents: Genes Greatly Influence Your Child's Personality!
31:46 Twin Studies & Shared vs. Non-Shared Environments
39:00 The Nature of Nurture: Our Genes Also Shape Our Environment
44:23 Provocative Observations: Bad Behavior Runs in a Family because of Genes
46:45 Novelty Seeking & Extraversion: Traits Linked with Cheating & Divorce
47:39 Personality & Genes
1:01:06 Psychopathologies are Extreme Ends of Normal Personality Traits
1:14:15 DNA Revolution: 23andMe, Ancestry.com, Stratagene, SNPs, & Polygenic Scores
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode I spoke with Dr. Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and author. We spoke about Marianne's killer book Monogamy: The Untold Story.
In the book, Marianne takes us through the most common challenges of monogamy - but says they’re not inevitable! By understanding the usual ways in which sex drives in marriage get derailed - Marianne shows us how we can overcome these common pitfalls and keep the magic very much alive.
We talked about the differences between men and women's sex drives, what men and women need in their relationship, and what couples can do to find a good balance. We spoke about the damaging effects of birth control pills on women’s sex drive and how hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can be a good solution for women who are particularly affected by perimenopausal symptoms.
We spoke about how women often get dissociated from their bodies and how this can affect their sex lives. Marianne mentioned that yoga and brief meditations can make a big difference, helping women who feel disconnected from their bodies to re-attune to their bodily sensations. We also spoke about how some women still carry a lot of shame around sex because of messages they internalized in their earlier years. Marianne told us how she works with such women to release shameful feelings around sex and pleasure - especially when in the context of a loving, committed relationship.
We spoke about the different forms of infidelity and the various, creative ways in which people cheat on each other. Marianne gave us the details on what she's seen - from gray areas like sexting, porn, and OnlyFans to more clear forms of cheating like hook-up apps for married people and full-blown affairs.
We spoke about the beauty of monogamy and why humans are built for pair-bonding and attachment, even though monogamous relationships have their challenges. We gave our thoughts on why polyamory eventually ends in disaster - even with the best of intentions - and why Marianne considers polyamory a last resort.
We finished by speaking about Marianne’s Psychology Today blog 'The Future of Intimacy', where she shares helpful, practical advice for couples in the modern world. We dove into some of her most popular articles, where she talks about how modern couples can maintain a vital sex life, what to do if you're interested in sex - just not with your partner, and how advancements in sex tech - like VR porn and sex robots - are going to revolutionize the sexual marketplace.
I hope you enjoy this episode. Be sure to leave a comment and share your thoughts! 💬
00:00 Why Do So Many Married Couples Stop Having Sex?
7:25 Making Love vs. Primal Power Dynamics
11:20 There's No Version of "Fifty Shades of Grey" for Men
15:26 Common Complaints: Why Women Stop Wanting Sex
21:22 Birth Control Pills Kill Your Sex Drive
26:17 What Can Husbands Do to Have More Sex
34:24 Women: Being Connected to Our Bodies & Letting Go of Shame
43:10 Polyamory, Cheating, & Infidelity Gray Areas
50:20 Who Struggles Most with Monogamy?
56:10 Keeping the *Spark* Alive: Never Stop Flirting & Dating
59:12 “Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World”
1:01:12 Polygamous Societies Are The Most Violent Throughout History
1:02:08 Men Are Numbing Themselves with Drugs & Porn
1:04:00 VR Porn & The Future of Sex Tech
1:12:48 Good News: Will VR Porn Replace Sex Workers?
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In today's episode, I spoke with Randy Thornhill, about the biological basis of beauty, how diseases influence political views and values, and the evolutionary history of rape and sexual coercion.
We spoke about how hormonal health influences sexual attraction, how developmental health influences our facial symmetry, and how improving our health can have a direct effect on our beauty and attractiveness.
We also discussed Randy’s groundbreaking theory called the Parasite-Stress Theory - which has shown that authoritarian and liberal views are often driven by the extent to which we’re exposed to infectious diseases. The more infectious diseases there are in an area, the more suspicious of outsiders we become, and vice versa. These mechanisms are part of our 'behavioral immune system'. This theory has really important implications for understanding how we construct our values and how certain factors of our environment, that we’re mostly unaware of, can completely shape our perception.
We then went on to speak about another one of Randy’s important books - 'The Natural History of Rape'. This is obviously a difficult subject to cover, and we did our best to do it justice, and to lay out Randy’s findings on the evolutionary roots of sexual coercion and why it exists. Not a pretty truth, for sure, but it is an important truth nonetheless, and I hope you find it useful.
I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on the ideas raised here. Do they make sense? Do you agree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Randy Thornhill is a professor of evolutionary biology at the University of New Mexico. His parasite-stress theory, or pathogen-stress theory, is a theory of human evolution proposing that parasites and diseases encountered by a species shape the development of the values and qualities of that species. This theory has revolutionized evolutionary psychology and has been highly replicated since its conception.
00:00 Evolutionary & Biological Basis of Beauty
2:10 Hormonal Health & The Effects of Estrogen & Testosterone
10:25 Developmental Health & Bilateral Symmetry
19:10 We Can Look More Beautiful by Being Healthier
25:17 Parasite-Stress Theory: How Diseases Influence Political Views
28:35 Xenophobia is a Behavioral Immune System Response
52:11 "The Natural History of Rape"
58:55 Age of Rape Victims
1:02:28 Is Rape About Power?
1:09:53 Rape is a Low-Cost Strategy
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In today's episode, I spoke with Louise Hawkley about loneliness.
We spoke about the paradox of feeling lonely even when surrounded by people, why loneliness is so painful to us on a visceral level, and how we are hardwired for social connection.
Louise’s work has shown the significant consequences that loneliness can have on our mental health and our physical health. Loneliness can completely distort the way we see the world, and it can have serious physiological, hormonal, and genetic effects. We also discussed some of the drivers of loneliness in our modern world - such as social media and changing family dynamics - and finally, what we can do about it.
We shared practical ways to combat loneliness, overcome social anxiety, and cultivate more meaningful relationships. Tune in to learn more about loneliness and the ways in which we can build a more connected society.
Prof. Louise Hawkley is a principal research scientist at NORC of the University of Chicago, and her research focuses on loneliness, its impacts on physical and mental health, with a special emphasis on the aging population.
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00:00 Intro
01:02 What is loneliness?
04:33 Why is loneliness so painful?
06:00 Are we in a loneliness epidemic?
09:44 Mental health effects of chronic loneliness
14:45 Overcoming social anxiety
19:45 Loneliness causes diseases of inflammation
31:00 Cultivating relationships for life
34:28 Men and women suffer from different types of loneliness
39:14 Causes for the rise in loneliness - is social media to blame?
44:00 Authenticity is key for true belonging
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com -
In this episode, I spoke with Bryan Caplan, a professor of economics and an avid author on the culture wars.
Bryan wrote a book called “Don’t Be a Feminist: A Letter to My Daughter” and we discussed some of the issues with modern feminism today.
We spoke about his latest appearance on Louise Perry’s podcast Maiden Mother Matriarch and some of the disagreements that they had there. I did my best to defend Louise’s book 'The Case Against the Sexual Revolution' and her critique of the extremely liberal sexual culture we find ourselves in, because I think it’s an important message for young women and men who want to find a long-term relationship and find themselves disillusioned with the current status quo of dating.
We talked about Bryan's advice on dating today and how men and women can overcome their social anxiety when trying to find love. And lastly, we spoke about Bryan’s new book that will be coming out soon “You Will Not Stampede Me: Essays on Non-Conformism” and we got into a bit of a debate on nationalism.
I am very interested in hearing your opinions on the points we raised on feminism, modern dating, and nationalism, so do leave a comment and share your thoughts.
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00:00 Intro
01:22 Why You Shouldn't Be a Feminist
06:17 How Do We Define Fairness & Equality?
24:00 Are Gender Norms Harmful?
41:24 Louise Perry & The Case Against the Sexual Revolution
1:20:00 Is Nationalism Good or Bad?
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In this episode featuring Gal Sheppes, we delved into the intricate world of managing emotions.
We discussed the difference between emotion generation and regulation, highlighting the importance of tailored interventions for each aspect.
We explored the flexibility of emotion regulation strategies, examining their continuum from disengagement to engagement across various contexts. Gal shared insights into the stages of emotion regulation, shedding light on their significance across different time frames.
We continued on to the intersection of emotion regulation with conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and addiction.
Gal also provided insights on fostering healthy emotion regulation in children and navigating emotions during relational conflicts for healthier relationships. Tune in to learn more about how our emotions work and how we can manage them more consciously.
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Gal Sheppes is a professor of clinical psychology at Tel Aviv University, and his research focuses on the underlying mechanisms of emotion regulation and self-regulation among healthy and clinical populations.
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Join me in a thought-provoking conversation with Prof. Roy Baumeister as we delve into the pages of his book "Is There Anything Good About Men: How Cultures Flourish by Exploiting Men".
In this episode, we explore the roots of male motivation, uncovering the profound impact of sexual competition on both men and women. Prof. Baumeister offers insights into the intricate relationship between men's sex drive and their drive for success, and how these drives have influenced the building and shaping of culture.
Our discussion challenges prevailing misconceptions, shedding light on the complex reasons behind the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles and the anti-male narrative that prompted Roy to write this book. We navigate potential pathways for the future of monogamy, acknowledging the innate differences between men and women (even if our proposed solutions slightly differ!).
Prof. Roy Baumeister is an esteemed figure in social psychology and professor at the University of Queensland. His influential research has focused on self-esteem, the need of belongingness, sexuality, sex differences, and willpower. Tune in to unravel the layers of male psychology, guided by the expertise of Prof. Roy Baumeister.
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Unveiling the Secrets of Male Evolution: What Drives Deeper Voices in Men?
In our latest podcast episode, I had an engaging discussion with Dr. David Puts, an evolutionary anthropologist renowned for his insights into the evolution of men. We explore the intriguing question: Are lower male voices designed to allure women or intimidate rival men?
Dr. Puts shared surprising findings, revealing that male dominance competition has had a more profound impact on shaping masculine traits than previously believed, outweighing the influence of female selection. Our conversation explored the intricate role of hormones during prenatal development and their effect on shaping our personalities and sexual characteristics. We also busted some 'no sex differences' myths and challenged the notion that male and female brains are identical.
As a distinguished professor of anthropology at Penn State, Dr. Puts specializes in unraveling the complexities of human sexuality, examining how sex hormones shape our sexual psychology, behavior, and anatomy. Join us in uncovering the fascinating journey of how these traits were intricately shaped by the forces of sexual selection and competition.
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This episode was recorded 3 months before the tragic events of October 7th.
Join me for an eye-opening podcast episode with Prof. Eran Halperin, as we dive into the realm of emotions within intergroup conflicts. Eran's extensive research illuminates how emotions drive and shape conflict dynamics, exploring the profound impact of emotions such as hatred, anger, fear, hope, despair, guilt, and empathy in these contentious conflicts.
We discuss the power of emotions as engines of human behavior within social contexts, and their influence on decision-making processes both at the government level and among the public. Eran illustrates the unique nature of discrete intergroup emotions and their concrete implications for conflict resolution dynamics. We shed light on the potential for emotional change and its capacity to transform political processes, emphasizing the need for understanding and managing collective emotional climates.
Throughout our conversation, we unravel the complexities of emotions like hatred, anger, fear, hope, despair, guilt, and empathy, exploring their destructive and constructive roles in conflicts. From the chronic nature of fear to the contrasting effects of hope and despair, we examine how these emotions perpetuate conflicts and hinder reconciliation efforts.
Eran's insights offer a glimmer of hope, revealing that the majority of both Jews and Arabs in Israel oppose violence. As we conclude, we delve into potential pathways for meaningful change through emotion regulation, drawing from Eran's research to understand how altering the collective emotional climate could pave the way for reconciliation between conflicting groups.
Eran Halperin is a professor of social psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, with expertise in peace and conflict studies. His research focuses on the role of emotions in intergroup conflicts, offering valuable insights into the dynamics that influence decision-making processes and conflict resolution strategies.
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🧠 Delve into the fascinating nuances of cognitive differences between sexes with Prof. David Geary in our latest episode! We navigate through controversial yet intriguing findings on how gender disparities widen in liberal societies. Join us as we decipher evolutionary roots behind men's math prowess and women's verbal excellence.
🎙️ Prof. Geary, a distinguished psychologist, shares insights on intra-individual strengths, their impact on career choices, and the evolving landscape of education. Uncover the evolutionary bases of cognitive abilities, debunking myths around gender stereotypes and stereotype threats.
📚 Dive into the academic achievement gap, understanding its complex origins in educational design and societal perceptions. Explore brain disparities, hormonal influences, and vulnerability to stressors, shedding light on the varied aspects of masculinity and femininity.
🌟 We challenge misconceptions by exploring variability within sexes, while addressing prevalent Woke arguments against acknowledging inherent sex differences. Prof. Geary's forward-thinking vision for education promises an inclusive future empowering both boys and girls to excel in school.
This episode promises an insightful journey into the depths of cognitive science and psychology—don't miss out! 🚀David Geary is a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Missouri. He is a cognitive scientist and evolutionary psychologist with interests in educational psychology and the biological bases of sex differences in cognition.
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🎙️ Unveiling Evolutionary Insights into Male and Female Survival Strategies with Joyce Benenson
🔍 Dive into the evolutionary strategies that shaped our sexes in this thought-provoking podcast episode featuring Dr. Joyce Benenson, esteemed Harvard University lecturer in Human Evolutionary Biology and author of the enlightening book "Warriors and Worriers: The Survival of the Sexes."
🌱 In this conversation, we explore the primal origins behind men and women's distinctive behaviors. We discuss the reality of inherent sex differences—far more biologically rooted than socialized—revealing that acknowledging these distinctions doesn't imply superiority or inferiority. Instead, it illuminates how each sex evolved distinct survival strategies, shedding light on our natural tendencies and instincts to foster a more humane existence.
🚀 We challenge misconceptions! Discover that masculinity isn't innately toxic; it embodies virtues such as ambition, specialization, and an unparalleled ability to cooperate within groups. Men, your masculinity is not something to apologize for—let's reframe the narrative!
🔬 Delve into the complex world of female competition, unveiling the reality behind women's subtle yet potent competitive strategies. Understand that societal barriers are often reinforced by women themselves, not solely by men—an eye-opening revelation reshaping the narrative of the glass ceiling.
🌐 Our discussion navigates the mechanics of evolution, exploring why and how sex differences emerged. We spoke about young boys’ fascination with "the enemy" and their inclination towards tools and weapons, both rooted deeply in evolutionary history. Joyce explained how the innate competitive drive in men fuels innovation and progress when harnessed positively.
🔍 Joyce shed light on women's worry-centric and health-conscious behavior, as well as the intricate web of female competition, addressing the dynamics that drive exclusion, gossip, and antisocial behavior among ‘mean girls’.
🌟 Join us as we dissect these evolutionary concepts and strive to foster a deeper understanding of our natural inclinations, ultimately aiming to empower individuals to embrace their differences and to cultivate healthy relationships.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebiggerpicturepod.substack.com - Näytä enemmän
