Episodit
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Summertime, and the livinâ is easyâŠsaid no working parent, ever.
Your kids probably see it differently. Summer time is more relaxed, whether itâs days at camp, at the pool, or on the road.
You might have seen it differently in the B.C. (before children) era, back when Summer Fridays meant luxuriously long weekends to kick back with friends.
If we put aside the logistical nightmare which is summer parenting, thereâs a deep truth: having a slower âseasonâ (shorter work days, less stress, more fun) is a great way to recharge.
At the end of a slower season, you come back refreshed and ready to tackle bigger challenges.
And yet, the modern world of work often treats you like you should be constantly producing.
The irony is that attempting to work like this is often terrible for your productivity and your motivation.
So, in this weekâs episode of the podcast, weâll explore the concept of Seasonal Productivity - of defining slower and faster-paced seasons within your work to create better work-life alignment and produce better results at work.
What You'll Learn:
How âseasonalâ work habits can prevent burnout and improve your productivity
Working with the natural ebb and flow of your work and family âseasonsâ
Managing perceptions around your work ethic
My summer podcast break
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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In a busy world, where most of us are overstretched, itâs easy to end the day feeling drained, guilty, and anxious.
You might hope that changing jobs, using your time better, or starting that exercise routine is the answer.
But Dr. Emma SeppĂ€lĂ€, director of the Womenâs Leadership Program at Yale School of Management, wants us to address the deeper issues at play.
âYou can have all the money and power in the world, and still feel bound on the insideâŠstill be ruled by fear, still feel small.â
People often stand in their own way without realizing it.
The answer, she says, lies in reclaiming our âsovereigntyâ, that internal locus of power and control over our self, our emotions, our relationships and more.
Itâs not just a conceptual exercise. Becoming sovereign is key to everything from not taking on work that will burn you out, staying present at the end of a long work day, to how you deal with setbacks and fear.
In this episode, weâll explore what it means to be truly sovereign over yourself, and why this is the key to living the life you want and fulfilling your highest potential.
What You'll Learn:
Why Dr. SeppÀlÀ says many of us are in a toxic relationship with ourselves, and the magic question to change that
Conditioning your nervous system to calm down
Crushers, Sacrificers, and Stars: 3 types of high-achievers, and how to turn yourself into a Star
The link between intuition, authenticity, and heeding your âinner alarm bellsâ
Becoming Sovereign over yourself, emotions, relationships, and more
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Plenty of think pieces have taken on the tradwife trend.
And a fair bit of ink has been spilled over that Harrison Butker commencement speech.
And tradwives might be fairly compared to their vintage counterparts, the Stepford Wives.
And yet, thereâs something deeperâŠand maybe more sinister going on here.
Itâs an alarming notion thatâs sucking in plenty of high-achieving, feminist women. And driving us into burnout.
This episode is raw, thought-provoking, and real.
What You'll Learn:
How the tradwife playbook is straight outta Stepford
The alarming way high-achieving, feminist women can end up as Stepford Moms
How we reclaim ourselves in a society that expects women to do it all
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Ever struggled to get your message heard at work?
Maybe itâs in your bossâs leadership team meeting, where your input is minimized and the boysâ club is busy talking over you.
Maybe itâs when your voice shakes with nerves as you present the roadshow deck to challenging stakeholders.
Or maybe itâs at your mid-year, where you get feedback that others donât see you as âpresenting authoritatively.â
Thanks, boss, for that ambiguous feedbackâŠwhat do I do about that?!
Dealing with this stuff at work can throw your confidence for a loop.
If youâre a leader, you want to sound like a leader.
Claire Fry has seen it all. As a voice actor and vocal confidence coach, sheâs an expert in how to use your voice to confidently get your message across at work.
She joins me on this weekâs episode of the podcast to break down a few simple techniques that you can use today to increase your confidence, improve your executive presence, and get your message heard.
What You'll Learn:
Are womenâs voices heard differently? Whatâs with the unhelpful feedback about how we sound?
Secrets to communicating with more executive presence
How to leverage the 3 Wâs for getting your message across more confidently
Using your unique voice to get heard at work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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In many companies, June means one thing: mid-year season is here.
Many leaders give mid year performance reviews short shrift.
Itâs easy to make this mistake. Mid-year doesnât feel as important as year-end, and yet it still has a way of weighing down your to-do list: thereâs plenty of paperwork, feedback requests, and the like to complete.
But it is a mistake to under-prepare for mid-year â both as a leader and as an employee.
Mid year performance reviews, from my perspective, is often more important than you might think.
Preparing well for your mid-year can change the trajectory of your year at work. Taking the time now to prepare for your mid-year review will pay dividends throughout the rest of the year.
What You'll Learn:
The 3 things you should give as a leader and get as an employee at mid-year
Why your mid-year is more â and less - important than you think
How to use your mid-year to manage up
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Mistakes. The word itself makes a high-achiever cringe.
Sure, we all know that logically, âmistakes happen to the best of us.â
But when youâre the one making the mistake?
It feels like the worst.
And now, youâve got two problems: the original mistake, and being knocked off your game.
The original problem is now compounded. You might spend weeks or even months in your own head, worrying about the screw-up. Ruminating on whoâs judging you and how it might come back to bite you.
Your inner critic will sap your confidence more than any mistake.
What differentiates the highest performers is not a lack of errors. Itâs how fast they get back on their game after a mistake.
This is a skill you can learn.
Whether itâs a minor âoopsâ moment or a major fumble, weâll dive into how to gracefully recover from a mistake at work.
So you can lead with the relaxed confidence you deserve.
What You'll Learn:
Why cultivating an anti-fragile approach is useful
A framework to help you step out of self-criticism, and into useful action
2 steps to recover from big and small mistakes at work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Are you drowning in email?
Before youâve even gotten dressed in the morning, your mind is already on the 117 emails that are sitting in your inbox. Waiting on a response.
Email is usually one of the first things you look at in the morning, and one of the last things you look at at night.
It seems impossible to get (and stay) on top of it.
Email and collaboration tools have transformed the way we work.
Sometimes, itâs for the better: hybrid, asynchronous work on dispersed teams wouldnât be possible without it.
But much of the time, itâs the struggle of the modern sisyphus: spending days pushing email out of your inboxâŠonly to wake up and have to do it over, and over again.
Not only that, but it ends up crowding out the time we need to move forward your actual strategic priorities.
Taking control over how you manage your inbox is one of the best things you can do to create more sustainable and successful work habits.
This week, weâll explore how to make it happen.
What You'll Learn:
3 principles for successfully managing email
Why the âvigilant and diligentâ mindset keeps you stressed, anxious and spread too thin
Actionable tips for playing email offense vs. defense, and balancing email and strategic priorities
What it takes to win the game of email âhot potatoâ
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Motherâs Day.
Itâs billed as the ultimate celebration of the work of mothers.
And in a society that often gives so little acknowledgement, this one day takes on big importance: a recognition of how much youâve given to others throughout the rest of the year.
We want the day to be perfect.
But so often, itâs a major letdown. A source of strife, even.
No, the Motherâs Day hangover isnât what you get from too many mimosas at brunch (okay, well, thatâs one kind of hangover).
Weâre talking about the emotional hangover.
The nagging feelings of sadness, resentment, or downright anger that can follow you around after a disappointing Motherâs Day.
A big part of it? That mothers are offered so little in return for a year of hard work at home.
A nice brunch and a homemade thank you card are so small in comparison to all you do. So, when you donât even get that, how are you supposed to react?!
Whether your Motherâs Day was a day to remember for all the right reasons or all the wrong ones, tune in for an exploration of what mothers truly deserve, and how we can get more of it.
What You'll Learn:
The no-win societal expectations that leave too many mothers with a Motherâs Day hangover
How your âemotional hangoverâ provides important data, and what to do with it
Why you should consider planning your own Motherâs Day (even if your partner gets it 99% right)
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Women are more aware of the mental load of the household than at any time in the past.
The dynamics of domestic labor and parenting have historically been biased. The expectation: women would and should do the work of running the home and raising children.
Even for women who work outside the home, the mental load often ends up squarely on their shoulders.
Women put in 10 more hours of household labor than men each week (US data)
And this impacts their careers.
57% of women feel that their careers are limited by their caregiving responsibilities at home (US data)
So many women want to rebalance the load at home.
But the advice that permeates so much of the social media sphere is blunt: there are âgood guysâ (who will willingly step up to the plate at home, if asked) and âgarbage guysâ. And if youâve got one of the latter, youâre told your only option is to âthrow the whole man away.â
As much as that phrase makes me chuckle, this way of thinking keeps a lot of women right where they started: shouldering an outsize burden at home.
Itâs time to unpack our thinking about the mental load at home, and how we can drive more alignment with our partners.
What You'll Learn:
Why the unequal division of labor at home is also an obstacle to womenâs career ambitions
The âgood guyâ versus âgarbage guyâ binary thinking that permeates social media, and why more nuance is useful
4 partner stances to the mental load, and which ones are âgoodâ or âgarbageâ
The two underrated skills that drive more alignment on the mental load at home
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âPut on your own oxygen mask first,â they say.
But thatâs easier said than done, right?!
How much time do you get each day completely for yourself?
Add it up: time with no work concerns to attend to, no little humans to take care of. Purely to do as you wantâŠ
Thatâs probably some quick math.
For most women, the number is small. And women get less than men (thanks, patriarchy!).
And for that little bit that we do take, we hear harmful messages that itâs selfish. Or optional.
So, you end up putting yourself last.
Far from being frivolous or selfish, âme timeâ is essential time that we need to recharge. In a world of depleting demands on your time and attention, âme timeâ is a refueling stop.
What would happen if you treated time for yourself as a necessary component of each week? Critical to your ability to lead at work, and at home?
In this weekâs episode of the Mental Offload Podcast, we blow the lid off the idea that âme timeâ is selfish. And we dive into ways to take time for yourself in a society that makes it easy to keep putting yourself last.
Time for yourself isnât selfish. Itâs a strategic necessity in leadership (and life).
What You'll Learn:
How âme timeâ is protective against burnout, and support mental and emotional well-being
How much âme timeâ do you really need? Weâll look at the evidence.
The REAL costs of pouring from an empty cup, at work and at home
How to get over internalized guilt and cultural messages that discourage âme timeâ
A tactical plan to make more time for yourself happen
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Inbox zero is such a seductive proposition.
Inbox zero was popularized by productivity gurus as an efficient approach to email. The idea is that you want to maintain your inbox with zero - or as close to zero - messages as possible.
For most people, this becomes a daily metric to track their own productivity.
And, Iâd argue itâs a vanity metric.
Itâs seductive because it makes you think youâre being productive, efficient, and valuable at work. But itâs just a veneer of productivity.
Inbox zero comes with real costs. Namely, it takes away your focus from the work that really matters. (Which, in most jobs, is not responding to email.)
This week, we explore the lingering âproductivity mythâ of inbox zero, and better ways of managing your inbox.
What You'll Learn:
Why inbox zero seems so efficient
The real costs (and opportunity costs) of trying to maintain inbox zero
Take a page from domestic management - would you ever try to maintain laundry hamper zero?
Better ways to manage your inbox
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Presentation anxiety. Itâs incredibly common, even amongst leaders.
Thereâs that oft-quoted statistic that suggests that most peopleâs biggest fear is public speaking.
And what are presentations, if not public speaking? Even when the scale is small (like leading a team meeting), the stakes rarely feel small.
As a leader, you might need to give dozens of presentations a year. In some roles, you might give dozens a week.
Whatâs more, your presentation skills are part of your executive presence. You want to appear confident, calm, unflustered.
But how do you do that with your knees shaking?
In this episode, weâll cover how you can conquer presentation anxiety, to show up with more confidence and more presence every time.
What You'll Learn:
Why the typical advice, like âfake it til you make itâ is unhelpful (or downright terrible) for presentation anxiety
The ABCs of anxiety - whatâs really going on when youâre on stage?
How to create an âanxiety management protocolâ to help you perform at your best
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Decisions, decisions, decisions.
We live in a world of plentyâŠand itâs overwhelming.
There are so many options, and so much pressure to make the right choices.
And the sheer number of decisions that we need to make in a given week is mind-boggling.
Think about the time you spend in an average week researching, analyzing, and getting agreement on options.
Itâs exhausting.
But there is a way to win back some bandwidth and energy, too.
Itâs the practice of decision constraint.
And itâs incredibly effective for anyone feeling bogged down by the weight of the mental load at home (or stuck in analysis paralysis at work).
Try it this week for better balance and more bandwidth.
What You'll Learn:
Why having more options doesnât necessarily make us happier or better off
What you need to know about how the brain operates, so you can reduce the cognitive load
What kinds of decisions benefit from constraint
How to implement decision constraint for better balance
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Is your work week best described as a daily grind?
Like, the kind of work where you are constantly working at max capacity, only to find yourselfâŠslowlyâŠgrindingâŠdown.
Most corporate jobs operate with a go-go-go mentality that keeps everyone in a permanent state of exhaustion.
This is disastrous for your stamina.
And not just at work. The âhangoverâ of working like this usually carries straight into life at home.
Making you feel âwound upâ and stressed, and less able to be present and relaxed.
You might be tempted to think this is just a side effect of a demanding job. But it doesnât always have to be.
In this episode, weâll discuss a technique for rebalancing your calendar, that can increase your stamina.
If you want more control over your calendar at work, and fewer evenings feeling drained, listen and apply this weekâs episode.
What You'll Learn:
How can âsprintingâ not be draining?
The one trap you must avoid in setting up your work schedule (unless you like feeling fried)
Are you people-pleasing with your time?
Applying this to operational vs. strategic roles
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Albert Einstein allegedly said, âWe cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.â Wise words, whether they come from Einstein or not.
But how do you actually develop higher-level thinking skills?
One technique I use is Superthinking.
It puts the amazing power of your human brain as a problem-solving machine onto your biggest challenges, and guides your brain to solve them strategically.
Super thinking is a meta-skill. It asks you to observe and direct your own thinking at the same time.
But weâre not taught this powerful skill. And that leaves us at the whims of our brainâs default mode. Which is riddled with biases and glitches.
Your brain is a bit like ChatGPT. Its output is only as good as the prompts you give it.
In this episode, youâll learn how to âpromptâ your brain more effectively. For better, more creative, more strategic problem solving. At home, and at work.
What You'll Learn:
The value of Superthinking, and why itâs worth learning this meta-skill
Why your brainâs âdefault modeâ results in biased thinking â and how to correct for it
How to conduct a Superthinking session
2 benefits of doing regular Superthinking in your life and work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Women tend to disproportionately bear the weight of the mental load.
That translates into a âsecond shiftâ at home: more hours spent on parenting, housework, emotional caretaking, and more.
When it comes to managing that mental load, so often the advice to women is one of two things:
Delegate it. Or lower your standards.
And while thereâs nothing wrong with either of those approaches, thatâs not the only way to âoffloadâ tasks.
I get on my soapbox a little bit this week, to talk about how the mental load ends up pigeon-holing women, the sexist taxes that (too often) go unchallenged, and why we deserve better.
Itâs time to talk about what it really means to offload the mental load, and how we start to make that happen.
What You'll Learn:
Why going part-time isnât your only option for being a âgood momâ in the paid workforce
The unchallenged assumptions that we need to rethink around the mental load of parenting.
The âisnât that cuteâ version of womenâs empowerment
The 3 sexist taxes that fall on you if youâre socialized as a woman
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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âItâs lonely at the topâ, so the saying goes.
Which makes it all the more surprising that leaders rarely discuss the feelings of loneliness that can come as you rise.
Itâs paradoxical. Youâre surrounded by colleagues. You lead a team who look up to you and follow you. And at the same time, it can feel distinctly lonely to be the person standing out in front, making the big decisions.
Leadership loneliness isnât only a problem at the top rungs of business. It can strike any time youâre elevated from being âone of the packâ to being in a position of authority.
It can feel like the spotlight is directly on you.
Doubly so if youâre a âpioneerâ in your field â the first or only person of your gender, race, or other marginalized identity.
And there arenât many people to whom you can turn. Your former peers? They canât relate. Your current leaders? They might conclude you arenât up to the job.
Thereâs so much stigma that many leaders end up trying to put on a courageous front.
But theyâre secretly struggling with feeling alone, exposed, and the weight of having authority.
In this episode, we pull back the curtain on leadership loneliness, and strategies you can employ to navigate this often overlooked aspect of leadership.
What You'll Learn:
Causes of leadership loneliness, and the inappropriate workplace coping strategy that some people use
How leadership loneliness impacts your ability to problem-solve, and can end up driving great leaders out of jobs they once aspired to
Can you show vulnerability without being fully transparent?
4 strategies you can use to mitigate leadership loneliness, so you can feel confident and supported
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Imagine if you could sit down with your future selfâthe version of you who has achieved your wildest dreams, overcome your biggest challenges, and is living your best life. What would that conversation be like? How would it transform the decisions you make today?
Last month, we focused on the important relationships you have at home and at work.
But thereâs one relationship we havenât talked about. And itâs your most important relationship:
Your relationship with your Future Self.
This relationship drives major decisions about your career, your family, and how you show up in the arena.
So, it makes sense to treat this relationship seriously.
In this episode, weâll explore strategies to connecting to the person youâre destined to become, and how doing so can transform how you lead, and how you live.
What You'll Learn:
Why the relationship between your Past, Present and Future Self matters for success
How your relationship with your future self can protect you from guilt and people-pleasing
4 Questions to ask yourself that will deepen your relationship with your future self
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Executive Presence. Most leaders know itâs a powerful ingredient for success. Itâs that bit of leadership sorcery that allows some to command a room, influence key decisions, and inspire confidence.
You might be able to get ahead without it, but I donât recommend trying!
But can you actually develop executive presence?
Iâve heard leaders describe it as, âyou just know it when you see it.â
That may be true. But itâs spectacularly unhelpful.
Drawing on the latest research on Executive Presence, weâll decode the formula for this important leadership skill. And discuss how you can leverage it to rise at work.
What You'll Learn:
Decoding Executive Presence: the 3 elements that matter most
Bias and executive presence â is it a catch-22, or can it be neutralized?
Why âfake it til you make itâ isnât the best strategy
How to develop your personal flavor of executive presence with your own, impactful âspice blendâ
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Are you ready to rise in your organization?
Maybe youâre not sure. Itâs a topic that can create a lot of ambivalence when you have kids.
âIâd love to do more, but I canât work any harderâŠand Iâm already so drained.â This is a phrase I hear often.
The problem is that there are two thought errors that underpin this phrase.
First, you might think that rising means doing more. More hours. More deliverables. More meetings.
Second, too often it means that youâre overinvesting in developing skills that will cause career stagnation (and underinvesting in the skills that will drive growth).
But when you put the 3 keys in this episode together, you open the door to better performance, better balance, and more leverage at work.
What You'll Learn:
Why ârisingâ doesnât always mean a promotion â the different flavors of rising, and their benefits
The 3 elements you need to rise in an organization
Why you shouldnât rely on strong performance alone
How ârisingâ can create better work-life alignment and increased energyTo learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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