Episodit
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Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…said no working parent, ever.
Your kids probably see it differently. Summer time is more relaxed, whether it’s days at camp, at the pool, or on the road.
You might have seen it differently in the B.C. (before children) era, back when Summer Fridays meant luxuriously long weekends to kick back with friends.
If we put aside the logistical nightmare which is summer parenting, there’s a deep truth: having a slower “season” (shorter work days, less stress, more fun) is a great way to recharge.
At the end of a slower season, you come back refreshed and ready to tackle bigger challenges.
And yet, the modern world of work often treats you like you should be constantly producing.
The irony is that attempting to work like this is often terrible for your productivity and your motivation.
So, in this week’s episode of the podcast, we’ll explore the concept of Seasonal Productivity - of defining slower and faster-paced seasons within your work to create better work-life alignment and produce better results at work.
What You'll Learn:
How “seasonal” work habits can prevent burnout and improve your productivity
Working with the natural ebb and flow of your work and family “seasons”
Managing perceptions around your work ethic
My summer podcast break
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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In a busy world, where most of us are overstretched, it’s easy to end the day feeling drained, guilty, and anxious.
You might hope that changing jobs, using your time better, or starting that exercise routine is the answer.
But Dr. Emma Seppälä, director of the Women’s Leadership Program at Yale School of Management, wants us to address the deeper issues at play.
“You can have all the money and power in the world, and still feel bound on the inside…still be ruled by fear, still feel small.”
People often stand in their own way without realizing it.
The answer, she says, lies in reclaiming our “sovereignty”, that internal locus of power and control over our self, our emotions, our relationships and more.
It’s not just a conceptual exercise. Becoming sovereign is key to everything from not taking on work that will burn you out, staying present at the end of a long work day, to how you deal with setbacks and fear.
In this episode, we’ll explore what it means to be truly sovereign over yourself, and why this is the key to living the life you want and fulfilling your highest potential.
What You'll Learn:
Why Dr. Seppälä says many of us are in a toxic relationship with ourselves, and the magic question to change that
Conditioning your nervous system to calm down
Crushers, Sacrificers, and Stars: 3 types of high-achievers, and how to turn yourself into a Star
The link between intuition, authenticity, and heeding your “inner alarm bells”
Becoming Sovereign over yourself, emotions, relationships, and more
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Plenty of think pieces have taken on the tradwife trend.
And a fair bit of ink has been spilled over that Harrison Butker commencement speech.
And tradwives might be fairly compared to their vintage counterparts, the Stepford Wives.
And yet, there’s something deeper…and maybe more sinister going on here.
It’s an alarming notion that’s sucking in plenty of high-achieving, feminist women. And driving us into burnout.
This episode is raw, thought-provoking, and real.
What You'll Learn:
How the tradwife playbook is straight outta Stepford
The alarming way high-achieving, feminist women can end up as Stepford Moms
How we reclaim ourselves in a society that expects women to do it all
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Ever struggled to get your message heard at work?
Maybe it’s in your boss’s leadership team meeting, where your input is minimized and the boys’ club is busy talking over you.
Maybe it’s when your voice shakes with nerves as you present the roadshow deck to challenging stakeholders.
Or maybe it’s at your mid-year, where you get feedback that others don’t see you as “presenting authoritatively.”
Thanks, boss, for that ambiguous feedback…what do I do about that?!
Dealing with this stuff at work can throw your confidence for a loop.
If you’re a leader, you want to sound like a leader.
Claire Fry has seen it all. As a voice actor and vocal confidence coach, she’s an expert in how to use your voice to confidently get your message across at work.
She joins me on this week’s episode of the podcast to break down a few simple techniques that you can use today to increase your confidence, improve your executive presence, and get your message heard.
What You'll Learn:
Are women’s voices heard differently? What’s with the unhelpful feedback about how we sound?
Secrets to communicating with more executive presence
How to leverage the 3 W’s for getting your message across more confidently
Using your unique voice to get heard at work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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In many companies, June means one thing: mid-year season is here.
Many leaders give mid year performance reviews short shrift.
It’s easy to make this mistake. Mid-year doesn’t feel as important as year-end, and yet it still has a way of weighing down your to-do list: there’s plenty of paperwork, feedback requests, and the like to complete.
But it is a mistake to under-prepare for mid-year – both as a leader and as an employee.
Mid year performance reviews, from my perspective, is often more important than you might think.
Preparing well for your mid-year can change the trajectory of your year at work. Taking the time now to prepare for your mid-year review will pay dividends throughout the rest of the year.
What You'll Learn:
The 3 things you should give as a leader and get as an employee at mid-year
Why your mid-year is more – and less - important than you think
How to use your mid-year to manage up
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Mistakes. The word itself makes a high-achiever cringe.
Sure, we all know that logically, “mistakes happen to the best of us.”
But when you’re the one making the mistake?
It feels like the worst.
And now, you’ve got two problems: the original mistake, and being knocked off your game.
The original problem is now compounded. You might spend weeks or even months in your own head, worrying about the screw-up. Ruminating on who’s judging you and how it might come back to bite you.
Your inner critic will sap your confidence more than any mistake.
What differentiates the highest performers is not a lack of errors. It’s how fast they get back on their game after a mistake.
This is a skill you can learn.
Whether it’s a minor “oops” moment or a major fumble, we’ll dive into how to gracefully recover from a mistake at work.
So you can lead with the relaxed confidence you deserve.
What You'll Learn:
Why cultivating an anti-fragile approach is useful
A framework to help you step out of self-criticism, and into useful action
2 steps to recover from big and small mistakes at work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Are you drowning in email?
Before you’ve even gotten dressed in the morning, your mind is already on the 117 emails that are sitting in your inbox. Waiting on a response.
Email is usually one of the first things you look at in the morning, and one of the last things you look at at night.
It seems impossible to get (and stay) on top of it.
Email and collaboration tools have transformed the way we work.
Sometimes, it’s for the better: hybrid, asynchronous work on dispersed teams wouldn’t be possible without it.
But much of the time, it’s the struggle of the modern sisyphus: spending days pushing email out of your inbox…only to wake up and have to do it over, and over again.
Not only that, but it ends up crowding out the time we need to move forward your actual strategic priorities.
Taking control over how you manage your inbox is one of the best things you can do to create more sustainable and successful work habits.
This week, we’ll explore how to make it happen.
What You'll Learn:
3 principles for successfully managing email
Why the “vigilant and diligent” mindset keeps you stressed, anxious and spread too thin
Actionable tips for playing email offense vs. defense, and balancing email and strategic priorities
What it takes to win the game of email “hot potato”
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Mother’s Day.
It’s billed as the ultimate celebration of the work of mothers.
And in a society that often gives so little acknowledgement, this one day takes on big importance: a recognition of how much you’ve given to others throughout the rest of the year.
We want the day to be perfect.
But so often, it’s a major letdown. A source of strife, even.
No, the Mother’s Day hangover isn’t what you get from too many mimosas at brunch (okay, well, that’s one kind of hangover).
We’re talking about the emotional hangover.
The nagging feelings of sadness, resentment, or downright anger that can follow you around after a disappointing Mother’s Day.
A big part of it? That mothers are offered so little in return for a year of hard work at home.
A nice brunch and a homemade thank you card are so small in comparison to all you do. So, when you don’t even get that, how are you supposed to react?!
Whether your Mother’s Day was a day to remember for all the right reasons or all the wrong ones, tune in for an exploration of what mothers truly deserve, and how we can get more of it.
What You'll Learn:
The no-win societal expectations that leave too many mothers with a Mother’s Day hangover
How your “emotional hangover” provides important data, and what to do with it
Why you should consider planning your own Mother’s Day (even if your partner gets it 99% right)
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Women are more aware of the mental load of the household than at any time in the past.
The dynamics of domestic labor and parenting have historically been biased. The expectation: women would and should do the work of running the home and raising children.
Even for women who work outside the home, the mental load often ends up squarely on their shoulders.
Women put in 10 more hours of household labor than men each week (US data)
And this impacts their careers.
57% of women feel that their careers are limited by their caregiving responsibilities at home (US data)
So many women want to rebalance the load at home.
But the advice that permeates so much of the social media sphere is blunt: there are “good guys” (who will willingly step up to the plate at home, if asked) and “garbage guys”. And if you’ve got one of the latter, you’re told your only option is to “throw the whole man away.”
As much as that phrase makes me chuckle, this way of thinking keeps a lot of women right where they started: shouldering an outsize burden at home.
It’s time to unpack our thinking about the mental load at home, and how we can drive more alignment with our partners.
What You'll Learn:
Why the unequal division of labor at home is also an obstacle to women’s career ambitions
The “good guy” versus “garbage guy” binary thinking that permeates social media, and why more nuance is useful
4 partner stances to the mental load, and which ones are “good” or “garbage”
The two underrated skills that drive more alignment on the mental load at home
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“Put on your own oxygen mask first,” they say.
But that’s easier said than done, right?!
How much time do you get each day completely for yourself?
Add it up: time with no work concerns to attend to, no little humans to take care of. Purely to do as you want…
That’s probably some quick math.
For most women, the number is small. And women get less than men (thanks, patriarchy!).
And for that little bit that we do take, we hear harmful messages that it’s selfish. Or optional.
So, you end up putting yourself last.
Far from being frivolous or selfish, “me time” is essential time that we need to recharge. In a world of depleting demands on your time and attention, “me time” is a refueling stop.
What would happen if you treated time for yourself as a necessary component of each week? Critical to your ability to lead at work, and at home?
In this week’s episode of the Mental Offload Podcast, we blow the lid off the idea that “me time” is selfish. And we dive into ways to take time for yourself in a society that makes it easy to keep putting yourself last.
Time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s a strategic necessity in leadership (and life).
What You'll Learn:
How “me time” is protective against burnout, and support mental and emotional well-being
How much “me time” do you really need? We’ll look at the evidence.
The REAL costs of pouring from an empty cup, at work and at home
How to get over internalized guilt and cultural messages that discourage “me time”
A tactical plan to make more time for yourself happen
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Inbox zero is such a seductive proposition.
Inbox zero was popularized by productivity gurus as an efficient approach to email. The idea is that you want to maintain your inbox with zero - or as close to zero - messages as possible.
For most people, this becomes a daily metric to track their own productivity.
And, I’d argue it’s a vanity metric.
It’s seductive because it makes you think you’re being productive, efficient, and valuable at work. But it’s just a veneer of productivity.
Inbox zero comes with real costs. Namely, it takes away your focus from the work that really matters. (Which, in most jobs, is not responding to email.)
This week, we explore the lingering “productivity myth” of inbox zero, and better ways of managing your inbox.
What You'll Learn:
Why inbox zero seems so efficient
The real costs (and opportunity costs) of trying to maintain inbox zero
Take a page from domestic management - would you ever try to maintain laundry hamper zero?
Better ways to manage your inbox
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Presentation anxiety. It’s incredibly common, even amongst leaders.
There’s that oft-quoted statistic that suggests that most people’s biggest fear is public speaking.
And what are presentations, if not public speaking? Even when the scale is small (like leading a team meeting), the stakes rarely feel small.
As a leader, you might need to give dozens of presentations a year. In some roles, you might give dozens a week.
What’s more, your presentation skills are part of your executive presence. You want to appear confident, calm, unflustered.
But how do you do that with your knees shaking?
In this episode, we’ll cover how you can conquer presentation anxiety, to show up with more confidence and more presence every time.
What You'll Learn:
Why the typical advice, like “fake it til you make it” is unhelpful (or downright terrible) for presentation anxiety
The ABCs of anxiety - what’s really going on when you’re on stage?
How to create an “anxiety management protocol” to help you perform at your best
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Decisions, decisions, decisions.
We live in a world of plenty…and it’s overwhelming.
There are so many options, and so much pressure to make the right choices.
And the sheer number of decisions that we need to make in a given week is mind-boggling.
Think about the time you spend in an average week researching, analyzing, and getting agreement on options.
It’s exhausting.
But there is a way to win back some bandwidth and energy, too.
It’s the practice of decision constraint.
And it’s incredibly effective for anyone feeling bogged down by the weight of the mental load at home (or stuck in analysis paralysis at work).
Try it this week for better balance and more bandwidth.
What You'll Learn:
Why having more options doesn’t necessarily make us happier or better off
What you need to know about how the brain operates, so you can reduce the cognitive load
What kinds of decisions benefit from constraint
How to implement decision constraint for better balance
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Is your work week best described as a daily grind?
Like, the kind of work where you are constantly working at max capacity, only to find yourself…slowly…grinding…down.
Most corporate jobs operate with a go-go-go mentality that keeps everyone in a permanent state of exhaustion.
This is disastrous for your stamina.
And not just at work. The “hangover” of working like this usually carries straight into life at home.
Making you feel “wound up” and stressed, and less able to be present and relaxed.
You might be tempted to think this is just a side effect of a demanding job. But it doesn’t always have to be.
In this episode, we’ll discuss a technique for rebalancing your calendar, that can increase your stamina.
If you want more control over your calendar at work, and fewer evenings feeling drained, listen and apply this week’s episode.
What You'll Learn:
How can “sprinting” not be draining?
The one trap you must avoid in setting up your work schedule (unless you like feeling fried)
Are you people-pleasing with your time?
Applying this to operational vs. strategic roles
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Albert Einstein allegedly said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.” Wise words, whether they come from Einstein or not.
But how do you actually develop higher-level thinking skills?
One technique I use is Superthinking.
It puts the amazing power of your human brain as a problem-solving machine onto your biggest challenges, and guides your brain to solve them strategically.
Super thinking is a meta-skill. It asks you to observe and direct your own thinking at the same time.
But we’re not taught this powerful skill. And that leaves us at the whims of our brain’s default mode. Which is riddled with biases and glitches.
Your brain is a bit like ChatGPT. Its output is only as good as the prompts you give it.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to “prompt” your brain more effectively. For better, more creative, more strategic problem solving. At home, and at work.
What You'll Learn:
The value of Superthinking, and why it’s worth learning this meta-skill
Why your brain’s “default mode” results in biased thinking – and how to correct for it
How to conduct a Superthinking session
2 benefits of doing regular Superthinking in your life and work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Women tend to disproportionately bear the weight of the mental load.
That translates into a “second shift” at home: more hours spent on parenting, housework, emotional caretaking, and more.
When it comes to managing that mental load, so often the advice to women is one of two things:
Delegate it. Or lower your standards.
And while there’s nothing wrong with either of those approaches, that’s not the only way to “offload” tasks.
I get on my soapbox a little bit this week, to talk about how the mental load ends up pigeon-holing women, the sexist taxes that (too often) go unchallenged, and why we deserve better.
It’s time to talk about what it really means to offload the mental load, and how we start to make that happen.
What You'll Learn:
Why going part-time isn’t your only option for being a “good mom” in the paid workforce
The unchallenged assumptions that we need to rethink around the mental load of parenting.
The “isn’t that cute” version of women’s empowerment
The 3 sexist taxes that fall on you if you’re socialized as a woman
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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“It’s lonely at the top”, so the saying goes.
Which makes it all the more surprising that leaders rarely discuss the feelings of loneliness that can come as you rise.
It’s paradoxical. You’re surrounded by colleagues. You lead a team who look up to you and follow you. And at the same time, it can feel distinctly lonely to be the person standing out in front, making the big decisions.
Leadership loneliness isn’t only a problem at the top rungs of business. It can strike any time you’re elevated from being “one of the pack” to being in a position of authority.
It can feel like the spotlight is directly on you.
Doubly so if you’re a “pioneer” in your field – the first or only person of your gender, race, or other marginalized identity.
And there aren’t many people to whom you can turn. Your former peers? They can’t relate. Your current leaders? They might conclude you aren’t up to the job.
There’s so much stigma that many leaders end up trying to put on a courageous front.
But they’re secretly struggling with feeling alone, exposed, and the weight of having authority.
In this episode, we pull back the curtain on leadership loneliness, and strategies you can employ to navigate this often overlooked aspect of leadership.
What You'll Learn:
Causes of leadership loneliness, and the inappropriate workplace coping strategy that some people use
How leadership loneliness impacts your ability to problem-solve, and can end up driving great leaders out of jobs they once aspired to
Can you show vulnerability without being fully transparent?
4 strategies you can use to mitigate leadership loneliness, so you can feel confident and supported
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Imagine if you could sit down with your future self—the version of you who has achieved your wildest dreams, overcome your biggest challenges, and is living your best life. What would that conversation be like? How would it transform the decisions you make today?
Last month, we focused on the important relationships you have at home and at work.
But there’s one relationship we haven’t talked about. And it’s your most important relationship:
Your relationship with your Future Self.
This relationship drives major decisions about your career, your family, and how you show up in the arena.
So, it makes sense to treat this relationship seriously.
In this episode, we’ll explore strategies to connecting to the person you’re destined to become, and how doing so can transform how you lead, and how you live.
What You'll Learn:
Why the relationship between your Past, Present and Future Self matters for success
How your relationship with your future self can protect you from guilt and people-pleasing
4 Questions to ask yourself that will deepen your relationship with your future self
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Executive Presence. Most leaders know it’s a powerful ingredient for success. It’s that bit of leadership sorcery that allows some to command a room, influence key decisions, and inspire confidence.
You might be able to get ahead without it, but I don’t recommend trying!
But can you actually develop executive presence?
I’ve heard leaders describe it as, “you just know it when you see it.”
That may be true. But it’s spectacularly unhelpful.
Drawing on the latest research on Executive Presence, we’ll decode the formula for this important leadership skill. And discuss how you can leverage it to rise at work.
What You'll Learn:
Decoding Executive Presence: the 3 elements that matter most
Bias and executive presence – is it a catch-22, or can it be neutralized?
Why “fake it til you make it” isn’t the best strategy
How to develop your personal flavor of executive presence with your own, impactful “spice blend”
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Are you ready to rise in your organization?
Maybe you’re not sure. It’s a topic that can create a lot of ambivalence when you have kids.
“I’d love to do more, but I can’t work any harder…and I’m already so drained.” This is a phrase I hear often.
The problem is that there are two thought errors that underpin this phrase.
First, you might think that rising means doing more. More hours. More deliverables. More meetings.
Second, too often it means that you’re overinvesting in developing skills that will cause career stagnation (and underinvesting in the skills that will drive growth).
But when you put the 3 keys in this episode together, you open the door to better performance, better balance, and more leverage at work.
What You'll Learn:
Why “rising” doesn’t always mean a promotion – the different flavors of rising, and their benefits
The 3 elements you need to rise in an organization
Why you shouldn’t rely on strong performance alone
How “rising” can create better work-life alignment and increased energyTo learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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