Episodit
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The youngest of nine, Selena was a force of nature—a talented violinist, star athlete, and dedicated military intelligence analyst.
But behind her achievements lay a dark secret: a troubled marriage marked by manipulation and control. Just weeks after advocating for victims of domestic violence, Selena became a victim herself.
Who is Selena Roth?Selena's military career and family.Her relationship with Raul Hernandez Perez.Why coercive control is the top predictor of an abuser killing their victim.Patterns leading up to Selena’s death.The aftermath and advocacy.
This disturbing look at domestic violence in the military makes you think: How did a woman so full of life fall prey to such a tragic fate?
This episode paints a full picture of Selena—not just as a victim, but as a cherished sister, friend, and mother whose life was tragically cut short.
What You’ll Learn:
“If you're looking for signs of abuse in a marriage, very often the abuser is so talented at hiding their instability and abusive side that you have to look more at the spouse to see changes in them.” - Tressa Brady
Ideas Worth Sharing:
“Statistically, physical violence is not the top predictor of whether or not an abuser will kill their victim, but rather, being coercively controlling is the top predictor.” - Tressa Brady
"When you’re dealing with the repercussions of any disagreements with an abuser, you bend and compromise yourself to keep them from getting angry.” Tressa BradyResources
Hosted by: Married couple KC Witzens (audio engineer) and wife Nicole Friday (True Crime Expert).Guest Expert: Erin Roth (Selena’s older sister)
Podcast: “True Crime Date Night”Facebook Memorial Page:
Remembering Selena RothRaul Hernandez-Perez Court MartialMedia Article:
Hawaii-based soldier gets 62 years in prison for bludgeoning wife to death | Stars and Stripes by WYATT OLSON STARS AND STRIPES • September 15, 2021
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Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
What happens when the system designed to protect fails those who need it most?
In this episode, I will share with you the tragic story of Meghan Santiago, a devoted mother and military spouse who endured unimaginable abuse at the hands of her husband, Joseph Santiago, a Special Forces soldier. Through detailed court records, personal testimonies, and chilling recounts of the abuse Meghan faced, I will uncover the systemic failures that left her and her children vulnerable.Meghan's story is one of love, sacrifice, and a planned escape that came just days too late. I hope this episode serves as a call to action and urges you to recognize the signs of abuse and understand the complexities faced by victims trying to leave dangerous situations. Let’s honor Meghan’s memory and explore how we can better protect those most vulnerable in our society.
What You’ll Learn:
Personal reflections on Shel Silverstein’s ‘The Giving Tree.’The tragic story of Meghan Santiago.Prevalence of femicide in America and its connection to domestic violence.How the justice system handles military domestic violence cases.Complexities and challenges faced by victims of domestic violence in military families.Impact of childhood trauma on adult behavior.Ideas Worth Sharing:
“Femicide is an epidemic in this country, across the world, actually. Three women a day die in America.” - Tressa Brady“If you're going to bring on recruits who already have grown up in toxic environments, you have to preemptively give them the support and mental health resources that they will need.” - Tressa Brady"Women are dying across this world from intimate partner abuse, and the military and the justice system in this country are culpable.” Tressa BradyResources:
The Giving TreeNursing student Lauren Johansen found beaten to death after dad's chilling warning to judgeUS Army Court-Martial Public Record SystemPrivate messages, photos reveal desperate plan to rescue Fort Campbell wife before her murder -
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Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
How does the intersection of military law and state family law impact the rights and protections available to military spouses? And do you lose your TRICARE after divorce?
I invited attorney Amanda J. Hill to cut through the confusion and reveal the hidden complexities of military divorces. She exposes little-known facts about on-base housing rights, custody during deployments, and a potential TRICARE loophole that could save you thousands.
Amanda doesn't shy away from tough topics and addresses domestic violence in military families and the career-altering impact of protective orders. Learn why your social media could make or break your case, and discover the surprising document that could protect you if you give your marriage another shot.
What You’ll Learn:
How military law and state family law work together.Legal and financial protections for military spouses in abusive relationships.How to get protective orders.Why keeping records of coercive control and non-physical abuse is important.Legal options for child safety and custody in volatile situations.What a postnuptial agreement should include to protect your interests.Strategies for accessing legal resources and support with limited financial means.Ideas Worth Sharing:
“It is codified under the family code that if you allow your child to witness abuse, that in and of itself is child abuse.” - Amanda J. Hill“In the state of California, you have an absolute right to remain in the marital home until the divorce is final.” - Amanda J. Hill"I highly recommend that both sides have their own counsel representing them reviewing the document before it gets executed and making sure that both sides are being protected and it really is something that they agree with." - Amanda J. HillResources:
Navigating Divorce EbookWebsite: Khosroabadi & HillEmail: [email protected]: (858) 434-1020Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kandhlawgroupInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/kandhlawgroup/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/khosroabadi-hill-apc/California CourtsFamily Code 271 | Attorneys Fees, Sanctions - for protection against over-litigationFamily Code 2030 and Attorney's Fees Orders in a Divorce - regarding attorney's fees in divorce casesServicemembers' Civil Relief Act | OCCTricare -
Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
How can financial therapy change your view on money and relationships?
Dr. Megan McCoy, the nation’s first financial therapist and a licensed marriage and family therapist, talks about how financial therapy can help when dealing with financial abuse in domestic violence cases, especially in military families. With her expertise in both mental health and financial well-being, Dr. McCoy breaks down the complexities of financial abuse and its impacts on individuals and relationships.Listen in as she explains how to spot financial abuse and find your way to financial independence. She shares practical tips for dealing with financial trauma, talking openly about money in relationships, and taking control of your finances. You'll also learn about the emerging field of financial therapy, why financial literacy is so important, and the resources available to help those facing financial abuse achieve financial healing.
What You’ll Learn:
What is financial therapy?The role of financial therapy in managing money-related stress.How to talk to kids and partners about money.The impact of financial abuse and how to recognize it.Strategies for balancing joint and separate accounts in relationships.How financial flashpoints can influence long-term financial behavior.The importance of financial literacy and regular financial check-ups.How to plan for financial security in uncertain times.Ideas Worth Sharing:
“Money fears are nastier. They last longer, and they mean your sense of power, control, and autonomy, so they are difficult to manage, to say the least.” - Dr. Megan McCoy"There's no right way to do money. There is a right way to feel happy or feel safe, and that's what's important." - Dr. Megan McCoy"You don't have to be the expert. You just need to be aware of your finances." - Dr. Megan McCoyResources:
NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson, Ashley MerrymanMilton the Money Savvy Pup: Brings Home the Bacon by Jamie A. Bosse, CFP®The Four Money Bears by Mac Gardner, CFPThe Art of Allowance Podcast – The Money MammalsDr. Brad Klontz (Researcher/Financial Psychologist who discusses “financial flashpoints from our life”)CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau) “Money As You Grow” (tool for age-appropriate money discussions with kids)Greenlight Sample of websites that allow children to track save/spend/allowance/chores (for older children)Piggy Bank for Kids“Shame vs. Guilt” by Brené BrownFind a Financial Therapist Tool by Financial Therapy AssociationFind a Therapist Tool by Psychology TodayReputable Credit Agencies to run credit: Experian & Free Credit Report -
Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
Is the traditional wife trend merely a nostalgic fantasy, or does it conceal a sinister reality? In this episode, I peel back the layers of the picture-perfect stay-at-home housewife image to expose the insidious nature of economic abuse. Sharing my own story and advice, I show how this seemingly innocent 1950s lifestyle can trap victims in a cycle of control and dependence.
Join me as I reveal the truth about the “trad-wife” trend and explore the crucial importance of financial independence. You’ll learn about the real struggles, the need for personal strength, and the power of never giving up. This episode is for anyone who wants to understand and fight against the many forms of abuse.
The challenges of being a stay-at-home mom.Why the "traditional wife" trend can be dangerous.What economic abuse entails.The impact of military life on career development and education of women.How abusers confuse their victims.Why realizing you’re in an abusive relationship is hard.Why it's never too late to pursue your goals.How to recognize the early signs of economic abuse.
What You’ll Learn:Ideas Worth Sharing:
“If you want to be a traditional wife, I truly commend you. But I also implore you to hear me out when I tell you how this lifestyle is lending itself to dangerous forms of economic abuse.” - Tressa Brady“You aren't where you want to be right now, but just keep rising. One foot in front of the other, you're going to chip away at your goals, and little by little, you will get there.” - Tressa Brady“If moms were cars, we'd all have our check engine lights on.” - Tressa BradyResources Mentioned:
Deshauna Barber: One Question Changed Her Life Forever | Motivational Speech | GoalcastThe Full Harrison Butker Commencement Speech: WATCH | OutKick -
Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
Today we are joined by Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a clinician and coach specializing in the traumatic experiences of adult and child victims of coercive control. With expertise that goes beyond individual cases, Christine focuses on the broader impact of coercive control on children and the importance of education in preventing generational trauma from this insidious form of abuse. Listen in to learn about the characteristics of coercive controllers, how they choose and manipulate their victims, and more.
You can find show notes, resources and more: https://tinyurl.com/5n6mjfxu -
Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
What are the signs of emotional abuse in relationships? In this episode, I'll be sharing the often hidden world of emotional abuse and its impact. I'll describe my personal journey of recognizing and surviving emotional abuse and why it can be as dangerous as physical abuse. From coercive control tactics to the cycle of abuse, I'll explain the manipulation techniques used by abusers to maintain power and control.
You can find show notes, resources and more: https://tinyurl.com/98z45eda
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Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
What does post-traumatic stress injury truly entail? And how does it manifest within personal relationships and family dynamics? Dr. Shauna 'Doc' Springer, a renowned psychologist and expert in psychological trauma, sheds light on these questions and more as she explains the complexities of PTSI. Drawing from her extensive experience working with military warfighters and first responders, Dr. Springer offers insights into the impact of trauma on individuals and their loved ones, emphasizing the crucial role of love and trust in the journey toward healing and recovery.
You can find show notes, resources and more: https://tinyurl.com/3ab7h5ut
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Do you have a story you’d like to share on TWTDNH or are you a subject matter expert who would like to shed light on any of the topics I cover? Shoot me a message!
Welcome to The Wounds That Do Not Heal. I’m your host, Tressa Brady, and in this deeply personal podcast, I will share my firsthand experience with partner abuse in military families and shed light on a topic often shrouded in silence. Through candid interviews with experts and survivors, we’ll dive into the intricate dynamics and systemic challenges faced by military households. Together, we will confront the harsh realities of domestic violence within this community, aiming to dismantle stigmas and foster a vital conversation that transcends the surface.
You can find show notes, resources and more: https://tinyurl.com/4p96v6t8
