Episodes
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In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I reflect on the power of poetry to connect us to our roots, our struggles, and our freedoms. I'll be reading a poem that speaks to me deeply—a piece that reminds us of the generations who came before, those who endured unimaginable challenges to carve a path to the lives we live today. As I read, I think about the choices they made, the sacrifices, and the strength that flows through the family tree, down to us.
This episode invites you to pause and consider the freedom we have now—not just to exist, but to truly become—and how we can honor our ancestors by using it meaningfully. So, as we approach a season of gratitude, let’s explore the depth of what it means to be free and how we can grow to deserve that freedom.
The poem is titled: "I am one of the free (for my ancestors)" by Steve Taylor.
If you would like to purchase a book of his poetry, here's a link:
https://a.co/d/aSll2Va
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Take care, Stay grateful, and Keep growing.
Peace!
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In this emotional and powerful installment of We Were In a Cult?, Emma Fellows shares her deeply personal journey of healing after her time in the International Churches of Christ. Emma opens up about the challenges she faced, including navigating trauma related to her gender identity, mental health struggles, and the pain of being invalidated by those who caused harm. Trigger Warning: This episode discusses sensitive topics, including self-harm, suicide, and trauma related to gender identity. We encourage readers and listeners to take care of themselves and seek support if needed. Emma’s story is a testament to the power of speaking out, reclaiming your voice, and finding hope amid difficult circumstances.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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Episodes manquant?
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As we approach Thanksgiving, I’m continuing my project of sharing poetry with a focus on gratitude. In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', we explore Steve Taylor’s Savor This World, Savor This Life, a poem that reminds us to slow down and appreciate each moment as a gift. Taylor’s words resonate in those hectic times when life feels overwhelming, inviting us to see our brief presence as a rare privilege and to live with wonder and gratitude. Join me as we pause, reflect, and savor this life together.
If you would like to purchase the book, here's a link:
https://a.co/d/aSll2Va
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of We Were In a Cult?, I’m joined by Lian, who shares her story of growing up within the ICOC after being adopted into a family devoted to the church. Raised with the ICOC’s strict beliefs and expectations, Leanne opens up about her journey from childhood innocence to an intense struggle with guilt and self-worth under the church's pressures. From confronting the demands of ‘sin studies’ to redefining her faith, she reveals the courage it took to walk away from the only life she knew. This is a powerful conversation about resilience, identity, and the freedom of self-discovery beyond control.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I take listeners along on my journey through the contemporary evangelical church landscape. Having grown up in both the ICOC and traditional Church of Christ, I’ve seen church as a place of deep engagement, community, and connection. But now, after visiting multiple churches over the past few months, I’m questioning if modern church culture has shifted from a space of spiritual participation to a consumer-driven experience. With concert-like worship, brand-heavy atmospheres, and meticulously orchestrated services, are churches today more about what we consume than how we connect? Join me as I unpack these observations, diving into the heart of what church and faith mean in a world that often feels more polished than personal.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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"In this latest episode of Clemenz With a Z, I dive into a powerful piece by Stephen Taylor called The Mask. This poem, which explores the protective façades we wear, is part of an ongoing segment where I share poetry that has helped shape my journey. Inspired by Robert Frost’s words, 'Poetry is when emotion has found its thought and the thought has found the words,' this reading invites us to reflect on the masks we carry and the freedom that can come from setting them aside. Join me as I explore the deeper connections that are possible when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and real. This episode is an invitation to drop the mask and discover the richness of life beyond the barriers we build."
If you would like to purchase the book, here's a link:
https://a.co/d/aSll2Va
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I sit down with Dwan, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). As part of our series, ‘We Were in a Cult?’. Dwan shares how a chance reconnection with a high school friend led her to join the ICOC, at a time when she was searching for a sense of belonging and connection. As she opens up about the subtle ways people are drawn into the church, we explore the emotional impact of this journey, the moments of self-reflection, and the motivations that pulled her in as well as the motivations that solidified in her the need to leave this group. This conversation sheds light on the vulnerabilities that cult-like organizations often exploit and challenges us to think critically about the meaning of community, connection, and faith."
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, we’re unpacking one of the most challenging and transformative journeys many of us face: healing. Inspired by our recent conversation with former ICOC member Alan Allard, who shared his path from spiritual trauma to self-recovery, this episode delves into what it truly means to heal. Healing isn't a straightforward process, and there's no universal approach or quick fix. Here, I share personal reflections, experiences from others, and practical insights on navigating the messy, often non-linear road to recovery. Whether you’re grappling with the weight of past beliefs, personal losses, or just the complexities of life, this episode offers support, understanding, and hope for anyone on their own healing journey.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church, a father and want to share your story on a DADTALK, or anyone who wants to come on and just share your story please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I dive into the concept of “The Pressure to Do,” exploring how relentless demands impact our well-being. Drawing from Steve Taylor's poignant poem in The Calm Center, I reflect on how this pressure to always be "doing" invades our quiet moments and fuels a cycle of perpetual activity. This isn’t just about productivity; it's about questioning the need to fill every moment and redefining what “enough” truly means. Join me as we uncover the grace of simply being and the strength in letting go.
If you would like to purchase the book, here's a link:
https://a.co/d/aSll2Va
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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"Welcome to Clemenz with a Z, where we explore the powerful stories of those who’ve broken free from high-control religious groups. This latest episode is a kind of We Were in a Cult? segment as well as talk on healing from spiritual trauma. I was able to speak with Alan Allard, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Alan shares how his experiences within the ICOC shaped his journey of spiritual abuse recovery and inspired him to become a coach dedicated to helping others heal. Through his story, Alan offers insight into the resilience needed to rebuild and the transformative power of reclaiming one’s identity. Through his website, AlanAllard.com, he provides resources, coaching, and support for individuals seeking freedom from the psychological and emotional scars left by spiritual trauma. This episode sheds light on the strength required to overcome spiritual trauma and the hope that healing can offer to others on similar paths."
If you would like to reach out to Alan for more information on what he does or to get guidance, you can reach him at his website: AlanAllard.com.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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Welcome back to Clemenz With a Z! In today’s episode, we dive into a special poem that found me when I needed it most—The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski. This piece has been a constant source of light for me, especially during darker times. As we continue our exploration of poetry, I want to take a moment to reflect on its power to help us slow down, connect, and find meaning in life’s toughest moments. Whether you're new to Bukowski or familiar with his wild life and words, this poem speaks to something universal: the quiet resilience within us all. I dedicate this episode to the incredible guests and listeners who have shared their stories and struggles on this platform, specifically in the "We Were In a Cult?" series. Here's to holding on to that little bit of light, no matter how dim it may seem.
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In this episode of the Clemenz with a Z podcast, we continue our series "We Were in a Cult?" with a powerful and raw conversation with Nicole, who grew up as a ‘Kingdom Kid’ in the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Raised within a high-control religious group, Nicole shares her journey from a childhood immersed in faith to a deep questioning of everything she once believed. Her path led her not only to leave the church but to ultimately identify as an atheist. Nicole’s story is one of courage, self-discovery, and the struggle to break free from the pressures of conformity. Tune in to hear her experiences and insights as we ask the big question: Were we in a cult?
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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"Hey everyone, it’s Roy, and welcome back to Clemenz With a Z! Today’s episode kicks off a new series I’ve been working on, asking a big question—Are churches cults? In this exploration, I’ll be diving into the similarities between churches like Hillsong and Mars Hill and the ICOC, which has often been labeled a cult. This week, I’m sharing my experience at a local church, where the preacher’s sermon took an unexpected turn. He warned the congregation against listening to the song Landslide by Stevie Nicks, framing it as spiritually dangerous. The way he used this example to manipulate fear in the audience really got to me. I'll break down his tactics and talk about why discouraging critical thought and open exploration like this can be harmful. Join me as we look at the power dynamics and manipulative strategies some preachers use, and ask the question—is church just an accepted cult?
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In the latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I’m excited to embark on a new journey into the world of poetry. This episode is the first in a series where I’ll be sharing poems that have deeply resonated with me, starting with Joyce Kilmer’s Trees and a powerful piece from Steve Taylor’s The Calm Center. Poetry has a unique ability to connect us, helping us pause, reflect, and find meaning in everyday life. Whether you're a longtime poetry enthusiast or just curious, I invite you to listen as we explore the insights these poems offer. Join me in this contemplative space, and let’s discover together how words can touch the heart and soul.
If you would like to purchase Calm Center, follow this link:
https://a.co/d/6axLslJ
If you would like to read more Joyce Kilmer poems:
https://a.co/d/1y9PIwv
Thanks for all of yall's support of this platform!
Peace
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In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I sit down with AnneMarie, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). As part of our series, ‘We Were in a Cult?’, AnneMarie shares her personal journey from being drawn into the ICOC to the life-changing decision to leave. Through her candid reflections, we explore the emotional, spiritual, and psychological effects of being part of a high-control group. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation about faith, identity, and personal transformation.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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Welcome back to Clemenz With a 'Z'! In today’s episode, we’re doing things a bit differently with a reintroduction—both to myself and this podcast. Over the past five years, this platform has evolved in ways I never anticipated, especially with the incredible response to the "We Were in a Cult?" series. From its beginnings as the Balanced Male Podcast, this show has grown into a space where we explore deep and meaningful stories, offering healing and understanding for people from all walks of life. Today, I’ll reflect on the podcast’s journey, my motivations, and where we’re headed next. Whether you’ve been with us from the start or are just joining, I’m excited to share the lessons learned and the path forward. Let’s dive in!
You can check out my very first episode here:
https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-psru9-a98217
If you are a dad and would like to share your story here on the podcast you can reach out to me via email at [email protected] or you can DM me at the Clemenz With a "Z" podcast Instagram page.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of Clemenz with a Z, we continue the series “We Were in a Cult?” We continue our discussion with a conversation featuring Asha. Asha shares their incredible journey of being drawn into the International Churches of Christ (ICOC) back in 1993, all the way from Kerala, India. We discuss the emotional complexities of life within the ICOC, the controlling tactics used by the organization, and how Asha eventually found the strength to break free. Tune in for an insightful, raw, and ultimately inspiring story of resilience and self-discovery.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this episode of Clemenz with a Z, we continue the series “We Were in a Cult?” with a compelling conversation featuring Jakob. First introduced to the International Church of Christ (ICOC) in Russia and the Ukraine, Jakob later relocated to the Middle East, where his journey with the organization continued. He and his wife have spent years unraveling the complexities of their time in the ICOC, and in this episode, Jacob opens up about the challenges of leaving, the process of healing, and the impact the group had on his life. Tune in as we explore his personal story of finding clarity and reclaiming control.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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In this latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z' Podcast, we continue our series “We Were in a Cult?” with a conversation featuring Jennifer, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Jen shares her early memories of growing up in the church, attending services in unique locations, and the lasting impact of that experience. From humorous anecdotes about “lipstick-shaped” hotels to deeper reflections on community and faith, Jen’s story is both engaging and thought-provoking.
Tune in to hear how these experiences have shaped her outlook on life beyond the ICOC. Don’t miss this insightful addition to our ongoing exploration of life inside and outside high-demand religious groups.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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Hey everyone! I got another episode here for the "We Were In a Cult?" Series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" podcast. Today, we again dive deep into a compelling and often heartbreaking topic with our segment titled "We Were In a Cult?"
In this eye-opening episode of Clemenz with a Z, I sit down with former member Joselyn to discuss her experience with the International Churches of Christ (ICOC), a church that we all know has sparked both devotion and controversy. Jocelyn shares how she was first invited into the church, the sense of community that initially drew her in, and the moments that led her to question whether she had become involved in something far more controlling than she had initially realized. Together, we explore the blurred lines between faith, community, and control, offering an honest look at how these dynamics can shape — and sometimes manipulate — personal beliefs. Whether you’re familiar with the ICOC or simply curious about the complexities of faith-based organizations, this episode provides valuable insights into Jocelyn’s lived experiences and offers a unique perspective on what it means to be part of a religious group that some might label a cult.
If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or the ICC and would like to share your story of your life in and out of the church and help us maybe get closer to answering the question "we were in a cult?", and maybe find some healing please contact me via email at [email protected] or you can DM via Instagram at the "Clemenz With a "Z" podcast" Instagram page.
As always, thank you for your continued support and if you like what you hear please rate and review! If you don't remember, I'm just a channel, I ain't the source.
If you would like to support the podcast financially please follow this link: https://gofund.me/7ebb0524
Peace!
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