Episodes
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Every generation encounters struggles, challenges, and adversity. Equally so, each will achieve it's own success. The definition of these critical life moments may differ from one generation to another, but that does not mean they are any less significant.
If you're reading these words, regardless of your age, gender, or geographical location, you are a custodian; a care taker. We all are. That is our collective responsibility as long as we live and breath.We count on the previous generation(s) to prepare the new to eventually take over in their stead. It's what has kept humans in existence for these countless generations. So why the divide?
It appears that now, more than ever, generational elitism has separated us by disparaging illusions of one another; placing all the blame and bearing none of the responsibility. Boomers, Millennials, and Gen Z are all a part of it. Maybe we should act like it... Together.
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A car can be driven from the west coast to the east coast of the continental United States; 5,800 miles. Sure it can- as long as there’s enough gas in the tank, oil is regulated, and all components are in relatively good health. But… there must be gas in the tank.
When the fuel is low, we make a brief pit stop to refuel. That short break, with the intention of replenishment, puts you back on the road again.
If you haven’t already guessed, this long winded metaphor is relatable to men (and women) everywhere. For our purposes, we discuss men. Why can’t we show the same care and obligation to our own nourishment that we do for our cars. Ours cars which, some men have referred to as: a hunk of junk or POS.
Sometimes, you don’t want to do anything. Not because you can’t but because you… “can’t”.
Can’t be motivated. Can’t be bothered. Can’t be “f***ked* BECAUSE: YOU👏🏻 ARE👏🏻 OUT👏🏻 OF👏🏻 FUEL👏🏻
On today’s episode, Brandon and Gavin discuss the topic that almost never happened due to its very theme: Burnout, and what we can do to handle and overcome its pull to withdraw.
Feel free to press pause at anytime during this episode.
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Episodes manquant?
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How does a man feel manly? Is it by participation in manly things; hobbies, fashion, alcoholic beverage choice? Is it more manly to think for yourself or to fit into the mold the group has seemingly decided upon?
Is it better to have sand in your vagina or your pee hole? Let’s not get political, both are uncomfortable. But, do others get to choose what constitutes as a grain of sand??
For generations,“Manliness” has been decided by the trends of the time. And like time, trends change.
On today’s episode, Brandon and Gavin pushback on the social tropes that decide on manliness and give their honest opinions on what really makes you your own man.
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Brandon and Gavin are back with another Dammit Man Episode!
The pressure to provide remains an obligation widely befalling on the man, regardless of the evidence of social change, liberation, or progress regarding gender equality. While women have made giant strides to provide for themselves, their children, and even partners, the duty generally falls on the man as if by systemic default.
To some, it’s life. To others, it’s a life sentence. The question is, is it OK to follow your dreams; waving goodbye to the status quo as you move forward to something that while more challenging than conventional, can be more meaningful and purposeful?
Regardless of gender, we have responsibilities as adults to survive in a world where you must make your way the best you can. But, this does not mean that should the opportunity present itself, or worse, you’ve suffered a mundane existence for so long that you have no choice but to CREATE the opportunity-yourself- for a better life, that you should not take it.
In the words of William Shakespeare:
“To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing, end them. To die-to sleep…”
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The V-Card: to a man and woman, can mean two very different things, culturally. For women, it may symbolize purity and chastity. To a man, it may symbolize weakness or that of unwontedness by the opposite sex.
Regardless, these are perceptions that have been taught to us through generations of socialization, religion, and family upbringing and morals. While some are rebelling against the stigma and writing new narratives, these stigmas are still very real and can impact our relationships, even before they have a chance to begin.
Brandon and Gavin discuss this topic as it relates to how the opposite sexes may view virginity in their own eyes and towards the other, as well as what the root of “body count” really means as far as its importance to someone seeking a meaningful relationship.
Check out this link for the female point of view on body count:
https://youtu.be/QwSu1cp4xBQ?si=xjYVeRhCEejm18aP
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Racism? Bad.
Ageism? Bad
Religious Discrimination? Bad
Misogyny? You better believe that's bad!
Misandry? Huh? That's a thing?
...
Yes, yes it is. And it's rarely talked about or, at least, not given the same platform as its counter part: Misogyny.
From a social standpoint, it's easy to understand why this is. Men have been in positions of power in just about every human culture and civilization on earth, same for most wildlife, for countless generations; Patriarchy.
Patriarchy is defined: A social system in which men are the primary authority figures in the areas of political leadership, moral authority and control of property.
Women's rights movements began as far back as 1848 with an official drafted declaration, which outlines the movement, as early as 1902. In the great scheme of things, the women's rights movement is very much in its infancy, but powerful nonetheless and which it's time has finally come.
Today, the movement is as strong and proud as it ever was and has moved the needle to gender equality at a phenomenal rate in such short time.
However, like any movement sparked by a specific principal, the original vision may splinter into groups, camps, or sects which focus on redefining their purpose based on a point of view, perspective, or interpretation of the original intent. Where the original path may be one of virtue and justice, a second path might form towards that of retribution.
Dammit Man does not advocate, condone nor practice Misogyny. The same holds true for the retroactive silent (not so silent) violence towards men in the form of Misandry.
Dammit Man acknowledges that the hard truth is that men have committed, and are capable of committing, vile atrocities towards women. Another truth: this does not mean all men do, have done, or will do these things. As such is it wrong to punish all men for the wrong doings of some.
Brandon and Gavin discuss their thoughts on the social climate where hate towards men seems to be a a permissible conversation while, simultaneously, we can all agree the same hate speech towards women is greatly frowned upon and unacceptable.
We at Dammit Man humbly ask all genders who listen/view our podcast to listen with an open mind; listening to the words we say; feel the feeling as we say them, and understand that while we are two “white guys” with microphones and "affordable" podcast equipment”, we are capable of independent thought and subscribe to the credo: "Do No Harm. Take No Shit.”
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It's fair to say that the art of dating has evolved into something unrecognizable to 10-20-30 etc. years ago. Maybe unrecognizable is too strong , but, we know what dating is or at least we have an idea. What dating has become has dramatically changed in many, many ways, nonetheless.
What hasn't changed? The desire for two people to meet and mingle with the hope of romance, love, marriage and family. Again, maybe too general, but love and romance are still very agreed upon goals. What also hasn't changed is the "spark" that can ignite love and romance. In general terms, we call this spark a "connection".
Connections are not created from in-authenticity or placid surface level interactions. They are created by expressing your true self and expecting nothing more than the same from your date.
As men, we have an obligation - whether we like it or not- to be the planner; especially when it comes to the first date. This is the opportunity to show your best self on your best terms. It involves thinking critically about the options you have based on who your date is, what she likes, and who YOU are and what YOU like.
Brandon and Gavin offer some simple suggestions to making your first interaction the most memorable and lead to those second, third, and wedding dates.
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Sex is dirty, wild, fun, sensual, intimate, beautiful, necessary, natural… As long as you’re not a man who wants it..
There seems to be a stigma surrounding the male “need” for sex. That’s right, the “need”.
Brandon and Gavin breakdown why this stigma: “All Men Want is Sex” not only needs to disappear, but, from the ashes: the birth of UNDERSTANDING towards WHY men want it; from our biology to our need for affection, and that having a healthy sex drive does not deserve shame.
Make no mistake, ladies, this does not glorify “sex pests”. Rather, we magnify the importance of maintaining a healthy sexual relationship(conversationally, physically, and intimately) with the man in your life whom you love.
Podcast Recommendation for our Female (and Male) listeners; recommended by a female listener of the pod: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/orgasmic-enlightenment-with-kim-anami/id1448306363
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Do you believe in myths? Magic? Miracles? Then, my man, you keep hope alive for the mythical unicorn that is the impromptu BJ. Yes, the odds of winning the power ball are more in your favor, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t act as if this could happen to you on any day that ends in “y”.
In this “Thinking Dammit Man”’s episode, Brandon and Gavin share tips and products that can keep you well groomed and confident- below the waste and in your personal living space- to be prepared in the event of that random BJ, overnight stay, and keep them from running away!
Also, we respond to TikTok comments in a new segment called: “TikTok Sick”
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It begins with twinge in the brow. A cold sweat follows, along with the tightness surrounding the inner anal orifice. Yep, you are about to receive an unsolicited opinion. And what's worse? It comes from two white guys with annoyingly "affordable" podcasting equipment.
It's no secret that the world has been inundated by a surplus of opinions. Some might agree that they are predominately considered "reckless" opinions; causing rifts in social congeniality. But what if we can protect ourselves from the effect these opinions have on our minds in negative ways?
It is our opinion that we CAN! Simply by asking more questions of the opinion, the opinionated, and what our reaction can tell us about ourselves.
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Body Dysmorphia is not about vanity. Rather, it’s a mental disorder that distorts one’s self image; based on over-fixating on perceived physical flaws. This is not limited to just physical features, but also our perception of status, social well-being and other ego driven associations of value and self worth.
We believe the myth that men don’t suffer from this condition has been long since debunked. However, men still experience difficulty dealing with and overcoming this mental barrier.
Brandon and Gavin discuss their own challenges with dysmorphia as well as tips and experience on how to overcome those moments where the brain lies to us about who we are.
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“I got my balls, and I got my word, and I don't break 'em for anybody.” -Tony Montana
A man’s word is one of the most valuable intangibles a man can offer the world. This single offering is paradoxical due to the promise of impregnable fortitude in a reality where a single blemish could leave it scarred and impaired, often times irreparable.
Because of this, a man cannot waiver his diligence. He can never “call in sick” when placing his integrity on the chopping block.
Go to the gym all you like, but if the strength of your word isn’t strong. The heavy lifting will remain yours to do. Alone.
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If you been listening to the Dammit Man podcast, we already know that no one is perfect. Gavin and Brandon spare no words reminding us of that.
In this very special episode of Dammit Man, the beginning of our conversation revolves around the art and execution of stand-up comedy, where opinions are stated and passion is expressed .
You know what they say about “opinions”, right? They’re like a**holes… Everyone’s got one. And so, the conversation evolves into a discussion about what makes us feel like an a**hole, a**hole behaviors exemplified by other a**holes, and how to deal with the a**holes in our lives..
In the final third of the episode, Gavin goes deep as he shares a journey into the depths of his soul as guided by some psychedelic“fun guys”.
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What’s America’s national past time? Baseball? Wrong answer, dummy! It’s complaining and commiseration!
No one complains about mundane trivial shit more than we do. So much so, it’s catching on worldwide. Why do we do this? To put it plainly, we’re bored. Life has become so repetitive and “comfortable” that we’re left with no other recourse but to create misery out of the commonalities we take for granted. Relationships, home life, our careers, the weather-insert your life here. The irony is, we know our time is finite. Is this really how you want to live out the rest of your days?
To escape this self imposed doom, take the leap to add spice to your life. Try something different. Push yourself to expand your definition of life with a new experience in whatever form that may take. Try a new cuisine. Take a trip. Try pegging- whatever.
To quote Bon Jovi: It’s my life. It’s now or never.
Side Quest: take a drink each time Gavin says “yea”.
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What’s the hardest thing about being a man, today? More often than not, it’s our d**k, p***s, c**k, w****r, d**g, p****r.
This single organ plays an integral role in the creation of all the beauty as well as the chaos that fills human existence.
On today’s episode, Gavin and Brandon discuss nature, nurture and a request to nurture your nature with patience, awareness, and optimism. After all, it’s hard being men. But, can we not be men?
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Before we go further, it’s Andress, not Arness. We know.
Who are/were your role models, growing up? The men and women that held the world in the palm of their hands, as far as you were concerned. They could do no wrong. Parish the thought of any flaws or people who would speak against them. It’s amazing how the people we hold in such high regard can change as we grow in a world that changes by its very nature. Brandon and Gavin reminisce about their teenage years in the 1990’s; discussing their celebrity idols and celebrity chumps of their day, and how those monikers have switched as they accept their middle age.
Role models can influence us in many ways. Many for who they are, others for who they’ll become. Dammit Man, maybe it’s more about the character than it is about the man and your true inspirations are found in the people closest to you.
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The “Nice Guy” drags his cross along the dessert landscape. The weight; too heavy. The Discomfort; intense. The self righteousness; insidious. For his plight, he is rewarded with no followers. Darkness fills his mind as he is unable to speak up for the one thing he desires most: LOVE.
Brandon speaks on “Nice Guy Recovery” while Gavin shares his “Nice Guy Beginnings”. A special episode of The Dammit Man Podcast; not for the feint of heart.
Brace yourself for a deep dive into “Nice Guy Syndrome”.
Book recommendation: No More Mr. Nice Guy by: Dr. Robert Glover
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The idea of Conflict and Confrontation will illicit a slew of emotions. Depending on the individual, it can be the drop of blood in the water that stirs up anger followed by verbal or physical violence; the FIGHT response. While others may find their nervous system highjacked by the Flight or Freeze response; mental or physical paralysis. The difference between the two is: Confidence (Cup half full) and Fear (Cup half empty).
Fear is a Mother F****er. Fear can trick us into believing we are unworthy, small, and insignificant. Fear that our voices will go unheard or worse, deemed irrelevant. It can deceive us into believing that we are losers before even the opportunity to compete.
This is no good. We refuse this. You can stand up for yourself. You will remember that while others may leave you in the cold, you will always remain an ally to yourself. You have and nurtured self respect- the fruits of which will serve you the rest of your life.
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A psychosomatic affliction that befalls all of us at some point in our lives. Annoying, debilitating, unfounded: Imposter Syndrome can be seen as a blight on our psyche; the ego turned against itself and the impending doom that clouds our creativity and worthiness.
While support may not be enough to alleviate the anxiety that’s comes from Imposter Syndrome, it’s possible that a simple re-framing is all that’s needed to turn our insecurities into our own super weapons.
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On today's episode, we ask: What's your favorite Silver Shoes banger?
The boys discuss all manner of subjects including Style, Snr. Style, Gym Etiquette and Gym Shame, and why scantily clad women don't necessarily succeed for an appetite inducing enterprise. Unless.... It's steak in Gavin's case.... Most importantly, we take time to honor and ask what we can learn from the masters of self-care and overall care for each other: WOMEN. Join us for the answer.
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- Montre plus
