Episodes
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This is ESSENTIAL for you to pay attention to - like you bathe, brush your teeth, drink water, and eat every day; you better look at your relationship with the same lens.
1. Absence of communication. This is not just simply saying "don't be defensive and don't criticise". This is about disconnecting, the inability to empathise, pulling apart, and keeping conversations on surface level.
2. Emotional disconnection. Scientific research shows that 80% of couples who are emotionally disconnected end in divorce.
3. Frequent arguments. This can go from disagreements to being unappreciated - but either way you are disconnected from what is truly meaningful at your core values.
4. Lack of intimacy. This is not just about having sex but it's about being emotionally vulnerable and willing to expose oneself to be held by the other (and vice versa).
5. Loss of trust. This can be built up but you are definitely going to need to start from ground zero, with the ingredients of safety, honesty, and transparency to create trust again.
6. Different life goals. You are not going to be the same as your partner (and you shouldn't be) but you need to be able to grow together. This is foundational for your relationship to flourish.
7. Indifference. This is simply when you've stopped investing as much as you would have previously, or as much as you would like to invest in a relationship.
8. Avoidance. Time together feels like a chore and you even invite others around as a reason to 'be together'.
9. Constant criticism. This can have a huge negative impact on your self-esteem and self-worth.
10. Inability to move forward together. Being stuck and stagnating - if you're stuck you're actually deteriorating (not staying the same).Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Sex can either be healing or cause further trauma in a relationship.
Sex isn't just a physical act, but it's the spiritual, mental and emotional connection that's involved within a relationship. But that can be absolutely destroyed when it comes to a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies.
No shame - only openness and compassion here. Let's delve into the 10 top problems experienced in sex with a narcissist.
1. Sex entitlement - This brings the issue of 'consensual' vs 'wanted' sex - and you get pushed into saying yes to at least avoid other problems like criticism, rejection or infidelity.
2. Hypersensitivity to criticism - rejecting any form of feedback, and it can be a slippery slope into being gaslit.
3. Lack of empathy and forming emotional connection during an act so vulnerable.
4. Expectation of extreme praise and admiration (again, potential to gaslight)
5. Withholding sex as a form of punishment, rejection and shaming.
6. Sexual exploitation as a tool for manipulation and 'transaction'.
7. Sexual aggression - its a 'consentual' form of punishment which enforces the power imbalance.
8. Infidelity and social humiliation
9. Openly speaking about the bedroom with others to compare and contrast sexual experiences - forcing you to 'perform more and better' (sex becomes a performance, not an act of intimacy).
10. Gaslighting and sexual creation, creating a whole heap of shame if you're not playing ball.Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Episodes manquant?
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We often link success at work or financial stability with getting more love, admiration, and security from our partners. But here's the kicker: despite all our hard work, many of us see our relationships suffer.
We get so caught up in chasing career milestones or money targets that we forget about tending to our relationships. It's like we're on autopilot, focusing solely on work and neglecting our connection with our partners. Sure, we might hit those career or financial targets eventually, but it often comes at the expense of losing touch with ourselves and our relationships.
Even though we start off with good intentions, aiming to work hard for the sake of our relationships, we end up feeling distant from our partners. We've let the emotional and mental bonds slip away while we were busy climbing the ladder. It's crucial to strike a balance between our professional ambitions and prioritizing our relationships to avoid the sad reality of achieving success while losing what truly matters in life.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
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This is all an inside job.
The thing to hold in mind is that a boundary requires YOU to uphold and execute the consequences to, but does not mean that the other person has to adhere to them.
With a narcissist, having a boundary can feel like an impossible task because any boundary you express is also you admitting you are worthy of having your needs met, disrupting their pre-exiting concept of relational dynamics involving a heirarchy.
Your boundaries might be rejectected in the form of gaslighting or blackmail.
And so you do not negotiate the boundary.
You need to remain secure and self-assured in your own needs, prioritise these, and recognise that the rejection is a lesson you are learning about them.Support the Show.
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Today we have a deep and introspective conversation with Dr. Kate Truitt, a clinical psychologist and applied neuroscientist.
We delve into:
- Complexities of intimate relationships and how these are impacted by early and past experiences.
- Cultural and societal shifts in how we view relationships, what's acceptable, masculinity, and "situationships"
- Any relationship fundamentally requires psychological safety and mutual care.
- Book smarts and knowing the technical knowledge on watching out for trauma, narcissism, trauma bonding, self-critical voices, and shame do not protect you against the practical experiences of these.
- Chaos in relationships can feel comfortable.
- Amy the amygdala is simply trying to protect you - but sometimes in ways that hinder you.
- Self-compassion is key, always.Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Trauma bonds in men, Part 2
In this episode, I want to delve deeper into the topic of men and the core issue of shame, which is particularly high in those who have experienced trauma or abuse. Men often struggle to express these experiences, especially in heterosexual relationships, due to societal expectations and the belief that their value is based on what they provide.Shame is a pervasive emotion that can be extremely challenging to navigate because it makes individuals feel fundamentally flawed. This emotion often leads to depression, anxiety, and guilt, creating a vortex of painful feelings. Men face difficulty in dealing with shame because they're unsure of how to navigate it and are bombarded with mixed messages from society.
Society has evolved to focus on equality in relationships, challenging traditional gender roles. Men are often valued based on their roles, what they provide, and their characteristics. While it's important to strive to be the best version of oneself, this emphasis on external factors coupled with shame makes it hard for men to stand up against mistreatment.
Childhood experiences further reinforce this shame, as boys are often punished for pushing boundaries. They learn that expressing themselves may lead to more punishment, so they hide their true selves and conform to others' expectations.
Shame responses can manifest as withdrawal, self-attack, avoidance, or attacking others. Men who have carried shame for extended periods may resort to attacking behaviors to cope with their own feelings of worthlessness.
To address these issues, it's crucial to distinguish between what belongs to you and what belongs to the other person in the relationship. You can't change someone else, but you can work on your own self-worth and boundaries. Taking calculated risks by opening the door to your emotions and experiences can help gauge whether the relationship is worth pursuing.
Ultimately, understanding the complexity of shame and its impact on men is essential for both personal growth and building healthier relationships.
If you want to get in touch you can find me on Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
You will be torn - a part of you will have the ultimate desire for saving the relationship, everything you have invested into it, while the other part of you will want to end it and gain relief.
Support the Show.
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
The more anxiously attached you are, the more of an avoidant attachment type you will attract - there is no exception.
You better be the person taking the steps towards secure attachment, and that's how you'll attract a stable and healthy, loving relationship.Support the Show.
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Here are the top five risk factors that make you prone to entering a trauma-bonded relationship:
Insecure Attachment Style: Many of us, including you and me, might have an insecure attachment style, which can lead to difficult relationship patterns. Feeling unworthy of love, fearing rejection, and oscillating between wanting love and avoiding rejection are common issues. This insecurity can lead us to seek validation from unhealthy sources, reinforcing our feelings of unworthiness.Low Self-Esteem: Low self-worth often manifests in our inability to set boundaries and express needs. Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships, but if you or I don't feel worthy, we might not enforce them, leading to a cycle of neglect and unmet needs. In toxic relationships, our self-esteem can plummet, causing us to neglect our own needs and boundaries.Achiever or Perfectionistic Traits: High achievers and perfectionists often have a strong inner critic and believe they must continuously prove their worth. This can attract partners with narcissistic tendencies who criticize and devalue us, reinforcing our inner doubts and pushing us into a cycle of trying to earn their approval.High Empathy and Sensitivity: If you’re highly empathic or a people-pleaser, you might be at risk. You might overemphasize a partner's good traits, even if they treat you poorly most of the time. This overempathy leads you to make excuses for their behavior, seeing only the good and ignoring the bad. This can create a cycle of self-sacrifice, where you feel responsible for their happiness and overlook your own needs.History of Childhood Abuse or Neglect: Childhood trauma significantly impacts adult relationships. If you faced neglect, you might normalize this treatment and work harder to prove your worth in adulthood. If you experienced abuse, you might always walk on eggshells, aiming to please others and maintain peace. This makes it difficult to recognize and express your needs and emotions, leading to relationships that echo these harmful patterns.Recognizing these risk factors can help you heal and create healthier relationship patterns. It’s important to ground yourself in your own worth and set clear boundaries. Your worth is infinite, and you deserve relationships that reflect that. If you need further support, feel free to reach out through the details provided
Support the Show.
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Trauma bonded and toxic relationships are painful. Understandably it causes you injury, you're hurt and lost. You become a victim of the relationship and narcissistic partner.
However here's the thing - remaining in the position of victimhood, rather than finding courage to get out and ask for help, maintains your victimhood.
And for some people, remaining a victim is the only way they know how to maintain relationships. Not through wanting to be malicious, but more from fear. Victimhood is beneficial in eliciting care but it also keeps you stuck.
If you're looking for support, get in touch
www.healtraumabonding.com
www.relationshipsuccesslab.comSupport the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
The realm of confusion: I need to be independent but I also expect my needs to be met (which actually means you become dependent on your partner).
Today I'm joined by Erica Turner, relationship coach, to discuss relationships, communication, boundaries, needs, and how to effectively navigate these areas in personal interactions.Main Issues in Communication:
Acknowledging Needs: Many individuals are not even aware of their unmet needs, leading to feelings of resentment and frustration.Expectations from Partners: There is a common but unrealistic expectation that partners should magically understand and fulfill needs without explicit communication.Self-awareness: Recognizing and understanding one's needs is crucial before expecting a partner to meet them.Identifying Needs:
Connection to Emotions: Emotions are indicators of unmet needs. For instance, feelings of confusion might indicate a need for clarity, which can be addressed by initiating conversations.Safety in Expression: Creating a sense of safety to explore and express emotions is vital. Trauma can make it difficult for individuals to sit with their emotions, leading to over-productivity as a coping mechanism.Self-Discovery and Relationship Readiness:
Balance of Self and Partnership: While self-discovery is important, expecting to be fully healed before entering a relationship is unrealistic. Knowing one's needs, emotions, boundaries, values, and preferences provides a foundation for healthy relationships.Dependency in Relationships: It is important to strike a balance between self-reliance and relying on a partner. While partners should not be expected to fulfill all needs, some core relationship needs must be met.Effective Communication Strategies:
Expressing Needs Clearly: Articulating needs in a non-accusatory manner, such as "I need this because it makes me feel..." can reduce defensiveness and promote understanding.Handling Responses: Accepting that a partner may not always respond positively to expressed needs, and using their response as information for further decision-making.Conflict and Arguments:
Healthy Arguing: Learning to argue constructively is crucial. The best time to learn how to handle conflicts is when things are going well.Commitment to Well-being: Both partners must commit to preserving each other's well-being and having difficult conversations for mutual growth.Communication Techniques: Labeling the situation and feelings ("When this happened, I felt...") can help reduce defensiveness and foster constructive dialogue.Risk Responses in Arguments:
Types of Risk Responses: These include criticism, defensiveness, minimization, and silencing/ignoring. It's important to sidestep these defenses by depersonalizing issues and focusing on behaviors and feelings.Ego Work:
Receiving Feedback: Both partners need to work on their egos to be able to receive feedback without becoming defensive. This involves understanding that reactions often stem from one's own insecurities or past experiences.Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
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5 Top reasons why you may unknowingly enable your toxic relationship
I often hear from clients about the difficulty of taking responsibility, especially when you're stuck in a victim mindset, hoping someone else, like a therapist or partner, will save you. Sometimes, it's easier to wait for rescue than to be your own rescuer. This brings me to the topic of enabling toxic relationships and how you might unknowingly be a part of it.First, think about whether you're suppressing your own needs. Are you so scared of upsetting your partner that you keep your feelings to yourself? This is a big sign of enabling a toxic relationship because you're not acknowledging your own importance.
Second, consider self-gaslighting. You might start doubting your reality, convincing yourself that your partner's questionable behavior is okay. This happens when your partner invalidates your feelings and you begin to accept their version of events over your own.
Third, convincing your social circle that everything is fine when it's not can also enable toxicity. You might try to paint an idealized picture of your relationship to friends and family, who then unknowingly support you staying in an unhealthy situation.
Fourth, there's what I call the martyr syndrome, where you believe that enduring suffering for the relationship is a form of strength. You might justify your pain with the hope of a better future, but sacrificing yourself for a relationship isn't true happiness.
Finally, being overly empathic can make you a rescuer, forgiving your partner's harmful behavior and ignoring your own suffering. This not only minimizes their responsibility but also perpetuates the toxic dynamics.
Remember, it's about empowering yourself to recognize and address these patterns for your well-being and growth. Let's work towards healthy, fulfilling relationships where both partners are valued and respected.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Learn about the 5 risk factors in communication within your relationship: criticism, defense, dismissive, gaslighting, and stonewalling.
Join me on my Empowered Communication Workshop: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/workshopsSupport the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
In this episode, we're diving into the complex topic of what it means to be a man, especially in 2024. You might think it's straightforward, but with all the mixed messages out there, it's anything but easy. Men often feel lost in a sea of conflicting expectations: be emotional, be strong, be a provider, but also be sensitive. It's like they're searching for an instruction manual in a world filled with contradictory messages.
Historically, men have been taught to suppress their emotions, leading to difficulties in expressing themselves and understanding their own feelings. This limited emotional range often results in either shutting down or resorting to aggression, causing strain in relationships. Women, on the other hand, may feel emotionally neglected or misunderstood, leading to frustration and distance.
This emotional disconnect can have serious consequences, impacting mental health and overall well-being. Men may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or risky behavior to avoid facing their emotions. But ignoring these emotional needs only exacerbates the problem, leading to deeper rifts in relationships.
However, there's hope for change. Younger generations are more open to exploring emotions and breaking free from traditional gender roles. By fostering openness and embracing a balanced blend of masculinity and femininity, we can create healthier relationships and happier lives for everyone involved.
It's not about blaming men or setting unrealistic expectations; it's about fostering connection and understanding. By acknowledging and addressing these emotional needs, we can move towards a more fulfilling and harmonious way of being. So let's embrace openness and strive for a better understanding of ourselves and each other.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
If you have been trauma bonded, in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies, or have been in a battle where you feel belittled, controlled, criticised and coerced - this episode is for you.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
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Today, we're diving into the complex question: "Am I a good enough partner, and am I doing the right things in my relationship?" This issue arises frequently in my practice, often tangled with skewed perceptions of what constitutes good partnership. Many strive to please their partner, often at the cost of neglecting their own needs or engaging in harmful behaviors.
Short-term actions, aimed at avoiding discomfort or conflict, can lead to long-term dissatisfaction. For example, saying yes to every request to avoid confrontation may lead to resentment over time. Additionally, partners may evolve over time, and understanding this evolution is crucial for maintaining connection.
Effective communication, mentalizing (understanding your partner's perspective), and fostering emotional connection are key components of a healthy relationship. Recognizing when to have difficult conversations, avoiding defensiveness, and taking accountability for one's actions are also vital. Ultimately, the goal is to nurture mutual happiness and growth within the relationship, prioritizing both partners' well-being.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
Today's discussion is going to delve into a tough topic, but it's crucial for understanding. I've personally experienced hurt from my partner, and I yearn for them to acknowledge my pain, apologize, and grasp the impact of their actions. This sentiment resonates widely, whether in ongoing relationships or after a breakup.
When we've been criticized, lied to, manipulated, or betrayed, it cuts deep, leaving us in agony. We seek validation, yearning for our suffering to be seen and recognized. This craving for acknowledgment stems from pouring our heart and soul into the relationship, only to be knocked down.
But here's the kicker: by fixating on our partner's validation, we inadvertently diminish our own pain. We grant them power over our emotions, waiting for an apology to affirm our suffering's validity. However, our pain is inherently valid, irrespective of external validation.
In relationships with narcissistic traits, awaiting apologies can be futile. These individuals struggle to empathize and may never acknowledge our pain. Even if they apologize, the sincerity is questionable. So, while momentary validation might soothe, it's fleeting.
Instead of clinging to external validation, we must validate our own emotions. By recognizing our pain's validity, we empower ourselves, paving the way for clearer relationship dynamics. Through honest communication and mutual understanding, we can address grievances and seek workable solutions.
Creating a safe space for dialogue allows both partners to express their perspectives without blame. Focusing on actions rather than labeling individuals fosters understanding and facilitates constructive resolutions. Ultimately, validating our own suffering enables us to set boundaries and navigate relationships with clarity and self-respect.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
So, you're in a spot where you're putting in all this effort to make your partner happy, right? It feels like a constant uphill battle, and no matter what you do, it never seems enough. Sound familiar? Many of us have been there. It's like you're pouring yourself into every aspect of your life just to keep things afloat.
For example, you might be hustling hard at work, striving for that promotion or that big paycheck, all to provide for your family and keep them happy. But in the process, you're sacrificing your own well-being and sanity, dealing with demanding bosses or incompetent colleagues, feeling like you're stuck on a hamster wheel.
Or maybe you're constantly tending to the needs of your family and home, doing everything you can to create a peaceful environment for your partner, but it still feels like something's missing.
And then there's the pressure to look good, stay fit, and be perfect, all to keep your partner's attention and affection. But deep down, you know these surface-level efforts won't fix the underlying issues in your relationship.
You might even try to patch things up with grand gestures like vacations or expensive gifts, hoping they'll bring you closer together. But those moments of happiness are fleeting, and soon enough, you're back to square one, feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
It's like you're stuck in a cycle of surface-level fixes that never address the real issues underneath. And all the while, you're avoiding the difficult conversations and emotions that could actually lead to growth and healing in your relationship.
But here's the thing: relationships take effort, no doubt about it. But it's not about just going through the motions or avoiding conflict. It's about truly seeing and understanding each other, even when it's uncomfortable. It's about prioritizing the long-term health and happiness of both yourself and your partner.
So, instead of getting caught up in the all-or-nothing mindset or brushing things under the rug, it's time to start having those hard conversations and making real efforts to connect on a deeper level. And if you need some guidance along the way, don't hesitate to reach out for support. It could be the first step towards a truly fulfilling relationship for both of you.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] -
In this talk, I address the crucial issue of relationship dynamics, emphasizing the dichotomy between growth and stagnation. I assert that relationships are either flourishing, with mutual nurturing and attention, or deteriorating, marked by stagnation and mundanity. I highlight how distractions like children or caregiving can lead to neglect of the romantic relationship, often only realized when these distractions fade.
I emphasize the importance of continual growth and understanding in relationships. This involves actively learning about each other, engaging in shared activities, and open communication about needs and desires. I suggest approaching disagreements as opportunities for understanding rather than defensive battles. I stress the significance of empathy, mutual support, and the willingness to evolve together.
I warn against clinging to idealized versions of the past and encourage embracing the present reality. I advocate for intentional efforts to connect daily, prioritize each other's well-being, and collaborate on building a shared future. Ultimately, I conclude that nurturing understanding, empathy, and growth is essential for sustaining a fulfilling and healthy long-term relationship.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
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Today, I'll discuss a common question from struggling couples or individuals facing relationship challenges: "Am I the toxic one, or do I do toxic things that harm the relationship?" Let's unpack this idea of toxic behavior, acknowledging that nobody is entirely good or bad; we're all human, prone to mistakes and blind spots.
It's not about placing all blame on your partner or solely on yourself. Rather, it's about accountability and recognizing the role each person plays in relationship dynamics. We have the most control over ourselves, our actions, and our self-awareness.
Here are 10 toxic patterns to watch out for:
Feeling inherently superior or inferior to your partner, even if it's subtle.Assuming the worst about your partner's capabilities or intentions, leading to defensiveness or disempowerment.Keeping score of past grievances and using them in arguments, which prevents resolution.Using manipulation or control tactics, overt or subtle, to influence your partner's behavior.Embracing a victim mentality, seeking validation or rescue from your partner rather than taking responsibility.Being addicted to drama, seeking reassurance through conflict or emotional upheaval.Using sex as a way to gloss over unresolved issues, creating false intimacy.Having a short temper with your partner due to a sense of safety and familiarity.Putting emotional distance between you and your partner during conflict, or ignoring their attempts at reconciliation.Ignoring or minimizing problems in the relationship, hoping they'll resolve on their own or expecting your partner to fix them.Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward fostering a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. It's about taking ownership of our actions, understanding our vulnerabilities, and actively working towards positive change.
Support the show
Set yourself up for relationship success and get the best marriage advice. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.
Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
[email protected] - Montre plus
