Episodes
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Sexual desire differences are, unfortunately, very common. In fact, it's one of the top reasons why couples seek sex therapy or any kind of help in their marriage.
It's really painful to be in a relationship where your spouse doesn't desire you the same way you desire them. And while it's painful for the spouse with the higher libido or higher desire, it's also just as painful (for different reasons) for the person with a lower desire/lower libido.
The good news is that there are actually tools and solutions to help couples get on the same page sexually, and we'll discuss some of these in this episode.
I was interviewed by my friend Taylor Chambers, a marriage and family therapist. Since we talk about these things often on this platform, we've included this interview on the Get Your Marriage On Podcast.
In this episode, we cover the following:
I share some of my personal examples from my own marriage Why traditional sex therapy doesn't quite work. The role of pleasure Integrity culture versus purity cultureIf you and your spouse have differences in sexual desire that's causing some problems in your marriage, you're in luck because next week I'm going live doing a deep dive discussion on this very topic.
What: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives without Therapy or Pressure, Live Masterclass
When: November 14, 6 pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern
Register Here
More Resources:
Intimately Us App
2025 Couples Retreat
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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There's a lot of stress in parenthood (and regular life) that presses on the couple's relationship, which Emily and I know firsthand as parents to 6 children. And I know that maintaining intimacy and being lovers while also being parents and good at our jobs and other responsibilities is a challenge many of us face, which is why I'm so interested in this topic today.
And I had so much fun recording this episode with my guest, Sofia Ashley. She's a hoot! Sofia has been a sex coach for 10 years and has a program called "Sex After Kids" and she's the founder of The Happy Vagina Project.
In this episode we discuss how to have a party your libido would like to show up to and the importance of nervous system regulation, effective communication, and emotional support (over depending on outside things like toys or lingerie). You'll get to hear her strategies for transitioning from being a busy mom to a hot wife. And be sure to stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip!
Resources:
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
2025 Couples Retreat
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Episode Highlights
2:08: Bedroom fail
5:12: Novelty falls flat if there's not deeper connection
6:09: How our nervous system plays in
9:28: When you just feel "touched out"
15:33: Physiological response and the need for relaxation
18:20: Transitioning from super-busy mode, to "I want to have sex mode"
22:41: Creating a party your libido wants to come to
23:50: Pre-launch check list
31:46: Nervous sytem reset exercises
35:49: How to know if you're disregulated
39:45: Black belt sext tip!
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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Episodes manquant?
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The holidays are coming up, and this is often a stressful time for a lot of couples.
The stress and busyness can often lead couples to fall into dry spells in their sex life. And Emily and I are not immune to those dry spells either. So whether you're in a dry spell or looking to avoid one, this episode is for you! We're going to cover practical ways to keep your marriage and sex life going strong through all the seasons of life.
Resources:
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
2025 Couples Retreat
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Episode highlights:
4:37: Seeing the Patterns in Your Relationship
6:13: Calm the heck down
7:18: Notice emotions and how they present in your body
7:40: The measure of your marriage isn't how you handle yourself when things are going well, but when life is hard
9:00: Separate the act of sex from the meanings attached to it.
11:04: When we look to our spouse, as a reason behind the dry spell, it opens you up to a potential of self-deception
12:25: Routine kills passion
14:34: Need both love and desire
17:37: Offer good sex
19:07: Questions to ask yourself and thoughts to consider
21:55: "But my spouse doesn't want to change"
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In this episode, you'll learn how to stimulate the "g-spot" and how to have more fun in your bedroom by learning how to work with this beautiful aspect of female pleasure and orgasm.
Join us as my guest, Tilly Storm, a sex coach for women, teaches about unlocking this new dimension in your marriage. Even if including the g-spot is already something you're doing in your relationship, I promise you'll gain a lot out of this podcast anyway. If you're new to this, well, you've got a whole new dimension in your relationship to uncover and explore together!
And I hope you have a lot of fun exploring it, just like my wife and I have had a lot of fun putting into practice a lot of the things that Tilly teaches in this episode!
Resources:
Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt
Intimately Us App
Get Your Marriage On Program
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
2025 Couples Retreat
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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There's definitely a spiritual element to developing an intimate marriage. For example, in order to have really good sex or really deep emotional connection with someone, it requires you to be more honest, true chaste, benevolent, and in short, to do good to your spouse. It requires you to be able to endure all things and to have a lot of hope and do the little things every day, the little micro things that actually matter to build an intimate marriage.
Our episode today is a recording of a conversation I had with my good friend, Rhonda Farr.
If you don't know her, she is a marriage and intimacy coach a lot like myself. And we had a fantastic conversation about how our marriage changes us rather than us trying to change our marriage.
This is really relevant because we're talking about the spiritual work of sexual development; this is the refining process, the part that expands us in our marriages to become the better version of who we are meant to become.
Resources:
Intimately Us App
Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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There are many reasons why a lot of us get off on the wrong foot when it comes to building an intimate marriage for the lifetime; there's shame, purity culture, unmet expectations, and difficulty in communicating about intimate matters, just to name a few.
I'm excited for you to meet a couple that has faced all these challenges, like many of you, but have found hope in the progress they've made towards the intimate relationship they desire.
Cody and Mindy are a couple that I've gotten to get to know really well through my coaching program. They've taken the principles that we teach in their program, applied them, and they're seeing real results in their relationship.
And I'm proud of them for being courageous enough to come on this podcast to share their journey and their experience with you, with the hope that some of you listening can find inspiration, hope, and healing in whatever phase of the journey you're in right now.
After listening to this episode, if you and your spouse feel like you could use a huge boost in your relationship, please check out my get your marriage on program. You'll see the details and lots of free information about it on my website.
One way to boost intimacy in your relationship is to learn mindfulness skills. And this has been proven in research over and over again. And in fact, one of the world's most foremost researchers in this area, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, is going to be joining me for a three week long seminar series in the latter half of October. You won't want to miss it!
Resources:
Intimately Us App
Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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We've come to our fourth and final Sextember podcast episode! It's been a great month culminating in this week's spicy topic. And the whole reason behind Sextember and these types of episodes is to illustrate how important it is that you add variety and novelty to your intimate marriage. This is how you keep it vital for the longterm.
Recently someone reached out to our private Get Your Marriage On Facebook group (which, by the way, if you're not a member of, I highly recommend you join):
"My wife wants to spice things up in the bedroom. She's saying we should do more sex positions, but I have no idea where to start."
Well, this podcast episode is for you and everyone like you in a similar situation!
We've had sex position illustrations (very tastefully drawn) in the Intimately Us app for about two years now, and it's a fantastic source of inspiration and creativity for many couples who have looked at those and use them.
Another feature that we have in that app is that users can rate and review their favorite positions.
So I'm presenting for you today, the top 10 sex positions rated in the Intimately Us app. If you don't have the app, download it today. And if you do have it, please consider upgrading to the premium version to unlock all of the best features of the app!
Resources:
Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!)
Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Anonymous Question Submission
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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This is our third Sextember Episode! So this is also going to be a really fun and spicy podcast to give you inspiration and ideas to make the most out of your Sextember!
Today, we get to talk about how to share your fantasies with your spouse (which is really hard to do sometimes) and about the value of adding novelty and spice to your marriage relationship.
In preparation for this episode, we polled our Instagram audience by asking them a bunch of "yes, no, maybe" questions (and some of them are really spicy!). Listen for those at the end to see how your own responses line up with those of our general audience.
Jacqlin is my guest today, and I'm so grateful to have her as a member of my Get Your Marriage On team. (And you may have seen Jacqlin on our Instagram as she creates a lot of fun and entertaining reels.)
Jacqlin has been married for over 15 years and has four boys. And she's also a certified life coach and loves helping other individuals have more peace and comfort with sexuality for themselves and in their marriages.
Resources:
Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!)
Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Anonymous Question Submission
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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Welcome to our second Sextember episode!
For this month, every episode will be filled with ideas to add more spice and excitement to your bedroom as part of our Sextember series. Last week, my guest, Tammy Camp, and I talked about flirting and initiating. So today we're going to build on that and talk about another spicy and exciting topic: putting the play back in foreplay!
Foreplay in my opinion is the best part of an intimate encounter. Foreplay is how you set the stage for how intimate and connecting the experience is going to be.
And by the end of this episode, you'll learn the grand key to unlock amazing foreplay in your marriage.
And it's something anybody can do. We'll give you specific tips and ideas as well. I'll also address some questions that you listeners have sent in anonymously about foreplay.
I'm joined by Amy Langford, a certified marriage and intimacy coach that works with me in my Get Your Marriage On program. She's been married for over 25 years to her husband, Greg, has four children and one son-in-law, and is passionate about helping couples uplevel their marriage.
Resources:
Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!)
Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Anonymous Question Submission
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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I am so excited for what's coming up in September! For the next four episodes in the month of September, we will focus on the theme of spicing things up in the bedroom. We're just adding a little more creativity to your lovemaking routines!
It's going to be fun and we're doing all this because September for us is Sextember. If you don't know what that is, listen to the podcast or check out our website or Instagram for more.
Today's topic is all about initiating and flirting, which I think are two vital skills any couple needs to spice things up in the bedroom. So I've invited my friend at Tammy Camp, a fellow coach with me in my Get Your Marriage On program, to share some ideas together.
We get a riff off of each other about how to initiate more creatively, have more fun, and just give you some ideas and inspiration for you and your spouse in your marriage.
Resources:
Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!)
Get Your Marriage On Program
Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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**SEXTEMBER STARTS ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. DOWNLOAD THE INTIMATELY US APP TO PARTICIPATE**
My hope for you after listening to today's episode is you'll laugh a little, be inspired and gain some practical tools that you can use to improve communication about intimate things in your marriage.
My guest today is Alyson Bullock, a marriage and family therapist, communication coach, and has a popular Instagram account @relationshipswithaly.
Today, Alyson and I are going to chat about your questions that will cover topics such as the following:
How to talk to your spouse about wanting more variety in spice in the bedroom How to talk to your spouse if what they want to do with you in the bedroom is a bit too much outside your comfort zone How to discuss mismatched sexual desire How to address resentments in your marriage, especially when things feel lopsided when it comes to sharing household chores and the mental load of running a homeAnd we're going to talk about some really fun, practical things to implement in your marriage today!
Resources:
Get Your Marriage On Program
Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse.
So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone.
My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program.
One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen.
Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances.
I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website.
By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too.
Other Resources:
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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This is part two of the podcast we released last Friday (#200). And if you haven't listened to that one, I highly recommend you pause this episode and go back and listen to #200 first.
These two episodes are continuation of a project that I started a few months ago to better understand what it means for me to cherish my spouse. I shared a tragic story about my wife's cousin and how that really propelled us to understand what it means to cherish others better. In the process, I've sought out mentors to help me understand this concept better.
And you get to hear snippets of the conversations I've had with them - you get to be a fly on the wall and learn with me and what it really means to cherish your spouse. And to love them really, really well. Of all the things I talk about on the podcast -- sex, orgasms, initiating, foreplay -- I think learning how to cherish your spouse whole heartedly takes the cake!
This is the most important. This is the sum of everything that I wish you would get from my podcast.
I hope these two episodes become the most downloaded episodes of the entire podcast. And this is what I want to be known for. I want you to know that to really love and cherish your spouse is at the heart of everything we do, even your sexual interactions (which we talk a lot about on this podcast, right?). It's about how you cherish your spouse through the language of your sexuality and sharing that with your spouse exclusively.
So today you get a year from three more mentors that I look up to a lot: Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). So you get three different perspectives here on the same kind of thing, different stages of life, different worldviews.
And in case you missed it, I talked to Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens, (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage) in part 1.
I hope this is the inspiration you need to make the most of your marriage relationship--make the changes, get the help, and do what you need to do-- to find that deep and abiding love, the cherishing that brings the deepest meaning and satisfaction to our lives.
Resources:
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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We recently experienced the loss of a family member very suddenly, a young mom with three children, and it has made me want to love and appreciate and cherish my wife more.
And so this set me out on a personal project to understand the concept of cherishing a little better.
This project has really changed me. It has changed me in my intimate interactions with my wife and with my children and with others. I've learned how to be a lot more present with them, less anxious.
And the way I make love to my wife has brought a different tone to our marriage.
It's more connecting, it's more real, it's more eyes open. There's a more genuine desire to be close to each other in our love making also.
To help me in my quest to better understand cherishing and what it means for me in my life and in my marriage, I've sought out a few mentors to help me and I've recorded our conversations. I've asked them just a simple question: "What does it mean to cherish your spouse?" And I just sat back and listened as these great teachers shared so many nuggets from their life experiences.
Because this topic has had such a big impact on me, and I didn't want you to miss any of it, I've decided to split this into two podcasts episodes.
In this episode, you'll get to hear from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage).
And in a special bonus episode on Monday, August 19, you'll get to hear part 2 from Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates).
TakeawaysAs you listen to what these wise people say . . .
♥️ I hope you'll listen with an open heart.
♥️ I hope it changes you as much as it changed me.
♥️ I hope this episode will inspire you to treat your spouse with a lot more appreciation and a lot more dignity.
♥️ I hope you'll find greater strength to look past the trivial barriers that get in the way of true connection.
♥️ I hope it motivates you to put down the phone more often and to actually gaze into your spouse's eyes.
♥️ I hope it motivates you to put your arm around him or her and hold them close, because you never know, today might be the last day you'll be together for a long time.
Resources:
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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It's interesting that we live in a day and age where it's not the popular thing to want a family and a strong, committed marriage with complete fidelity.
At least in America, the trend is to make wealth the ultimate measure of our progress in life.
But I got to tell you: if you're looking for an investment that would give you a return on happiness, I can't think of anything more of lasting value than a vibrant, passionate and intimate marriage. This kind of marriage brings our the best in both individuals and creates a safe and loving home for children as well.
Having a marriage I'm excited about is worth everything to me.
In today's episode, you'll get to hear what I said on my friend Angelo's podcast. He recently interviewed me, and in our conversation we talked about some really great topics such as . . .
Why it's important to prioritize or marriage Why sexual desire differences arise in long-term marriages (and how to solve it) How to have candid conversations with a spouse about sex And more!Resources:
Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
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I get so many questions through the anonymous question form on my website, so it's time to answer some more. We address these topics today:
A husband doesn't feel like his wife values sex and intimacy in their marriage Spouses wondering if erotic literature has a place in a Christian marriage A husband wanting more novelty in a sexual relationship, but don't know how to talk about it A wife feeling turned off by an overweight husband A spouse unwilling to try new things in the bedroom A wife wanting ideas to woo her husbandThese are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage.
If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me.
**Episode 200 is coming up and I can't wait. You don't want to miss it.
**Sextember is also fast approaching. This challenge starts September 1. Download the Intimately Us app to get all the details as it approaches.
Resources:
Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
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Building a long-term, intimate marriage is the most exciting demanding and soul expanding work that many of us will ever do in this life. All of the specific challenges to confront and overcome will be different from couple to couple, but many of the same tools work for many couples.
I met Keith and Lindsey through my Get Your Marriage On Program, where my team and I help couples and individuals implement various tools and strategies into their marriage to bring their intimacy to the next level. Keith and Lindsey are definitely the kinds of people you'd love to have as close neighbors and friends: they're really genuinely good people. And you can tell that they like each other very much.
They've agreed to share their story with you today in hopes of inspiring you in your marriage. And this episode, Keith and Lindsay will answer questions such as the following:
What misconceptions and societal pressures affect sex and marital roles? What tools help them most in their journey? How did they rewrite the many narratives and scripts that they (like all of us) inherited from their culture and families that get in the way of building a good intimate marriage and sex life? How do they balance the demands of work, kids, travel and intimacy all in marriage?If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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I'm very excited about today's episode today! We get to address a lot of juicy topics, such as the following:
a reluctant wife feeling pressure to give her husband a hand job a couple that wants to try pegging, but is unsure about it a frustrated wife that feels like all the effort she's making to improve her marriage is one sided and feels a lot of pain because of that a husband shares that the pain of being in a low intimacy marriage, where either fight about sex or have none at all, and he's tired of it a couple asks about using penis rings a frustrated wife, whose husband is only interested in sex if he's the one initiating (which is unfortunately really infrequent) a discouraged wife that must resort to using a vibrator in order to orgasm when penetrative manual oral stimulation is preferredThese are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage.
If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me.
Resources mentioned in today's episode:
Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life
Episode 87: Healing From Pornography with Zach & Darcy Spafford
Get Your Marriage On Program
Intimately Us App
FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
Retreat testimonial videos
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
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In many marriages, there are people that feel like they do far more than their share of the relationship work, but why do they tend to take on the responsibility of their spouse's share of the relationship, especially in stressful situations?
Intimate marriages are like a system like an air conditioning and heating system in your home. It works hard to keep things at an even temperature or homeostasis. When the temperature gets too high, the air conditioning kicks on to cool things down, and when the temperature gets too low, the heater kicks on to heat things up. So it's a system, a way of keeping things normal and functioning in a environment where people can live.
When there's stress and anxiety in the relationship, one person may tend to be com overly responsible for the relationship to calm the other person down, to bring the relationship back into homeostasis. This is called the over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic. And it shows up in sex too.
If you've ever said to yourself, "If I wasn't the person to always initiate sex here, nothing would ever happen," this could be a sign that you're an over-functioner in your sexual relationship.
My guest on this episode, Dr. Kathleen Smith, is a world renowned expert on systems theory and relationships. And this is her second time on my podcast (her first appearance was episode #45). She's the author of a new book, True to You, in which she discusses the overfunctioning under-functioning dynamic in relationships and how to fix it, and that is also the topic of our discussion today.
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
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"I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so publicly like that. I grew up with the understanding that those things aren't appropriate to discuss."
I can absolutely relate. This conversation with this sincere woman took me back several years ago when I was struggling with the exact same concerns. And I've been pondering her concern and reflecting on my own weeks, a month of struggles working through them.
I haven't shared my podcast here in depth about the wrestle that I went through that was so profound. It's become my calling in life to help couples like you enjoy a passionate and intimate sexual relationship in your marriage. If you would have told me back then that I'd be talking about sex in nearly 200 podcast episodes with over 1.2 million downloads, along with retreats, coaching and apps, I would've thought you were completely bonkers.
But then again, It, might've not been that crazy after all . . .
Tune in for discussions about the things I've learned along they way that can help you in your marriage, especially how one can know and decide what is right to do in the bedroom and in your marriage and not, as well as working through conflicts and creating a thriving marriage.
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
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