Episodes
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Now that the Hand in Hand podcast is on hiatus, are you wondering where to get parenting support direct to your eats? You're invited to join Abigail during the hiatus for her Mother Flipping Awesome podcast where she does a deep dive with one mama in each show. And you get to listen in. #mindflip #parentingtransformed
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This week: Handling Halloween Using the Hand in Hand Tools
So, your kids are fighting over the Halloween candy stash, and their sugar highs (and begging for more) send your blood pressure soaring. Maybe you have a child who is scarred by scare season's ghosts and ghouls - or simply refuses to be a part of the festivities.
Have no fear!
Elle and Abigail show you how to handle common Halloween howls using the Hand in Hand tools. Settle back with your pumpkin latte and get tricks you can use to make Halloween the family-centred treat you deserve.
Take a sneak peek into this week's podcast:
Why Halloween can bring out the worst in our kids What happens to a childâs brain when they are melting down and how you can respond in a way that reaches and nurtures Which Hand in Hand tools are most useful for handling the Halloween howls Abigail's genius route to peaceful resolutions when two or more kids are going at it How to play your way out of scare season fear and even angerListen now!
Get more great resources for handling Halloween with calm and confidence: For kids that are scared or fearful: How to Help Kids Face Their Fears with Play For help setting limits on candy: Loving the Candy (Setting Limits at Halloween) Free Guide to Sibling RivalryFights over candy, toys, time and your attention? You need this free guide on Surviving Sibling Rivalry using Hand in Hand Parenting tools and ideas.
Sign up to Abigail's New PodcastEvery week Abigail will walk along with a parent, right in their shoes, working with them to flip their parenting challenges. Visitwww.motherflippingawesome.com/mfapodcast
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Episodes manquant?
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Happy 100!
This week - for our 100th episode - we turned the microphone over to you all.
And we are SO excited to share this episode.
You'll hear just what led parents to the Hand in Hand podcast, the breathtaking transformations you have seen happen in your parenting, and the different ways you all use the podcast from week to week.
We're thrilled and humbled by the community that has gathered since we started the Hand in Hand Parenting podcast two years ago!
This Week We Listen To Your Voices
Take a listen and see if you hear yourself!
There's comments that'll make you laugh, comments that'll have you nodding your head in agreement, and comments that will surely tug at your heartstrings.
But at the centre of it all is immense caring, movement and community.
And it's so powerful!
Your good work is a force for change. You're telling us how your perspectives are shifting, and with them, your struggles. We hear how you are becoming more playful with your kids and more understanding.
You are embracing being the parents you knew you could be.
Triple yee-haa!
We wanted to thank you so much for being with us each week because you are as much of this podcast as us.
Get ready to be uplifted hearing all that you are and all that you aspire to be. Listen to You're Invited To The Celebration now. We can't wait for you to hear this.
Oh, and a million hugs and thanks for everyone who sent messages and emails to be included in this episode. We are touched and honored by your contributions
More Resources for Getting The Support You Need As A ParentThis episode shows just how valuable regular support and guidance can be to your parenting. Do these three things to ensure that you get that support for yourself:
Join our Group. Did you know you can dive into our free Parent Connect group? Our instructors are in there daily sharing tools, ideas and advice on Hand in Hand Parenting. Not on Facebook? We hear you, but this was the most accessible platform we could find. We think it's worth joining just for this group. Keep up with Abigail. Abigail is about ready to release her own podcast. Every week she'll be walking along with one parent, right in their shoes, working with them to flip their parenting challenges. Visit www.motherflippingawesome.com to see when it's happening. Get weekly Hand in Hand Parenting inspiration right to your inbox. Every week we highlight strategies around a parenting challenge, share freebies and checklists, new videos and interviews, and show you how to make the most of Hand in Hand Parenting. You'll also be the first to know when the podcast returns for its second series. Get it here. -
Where were you two years ago in parenting?
Sometimes we get so caught up in the present-day challenges we forget to look back and see the progress we've made.
And we should!
A week before the 100th episode of the Hand in Hand Parenting Podcast, Elle and Abigail do just that, with an affectionate look back over the last two years theyâve been making the podcast.
Abigail talks about how her kids have adopted, rely on, and now take ownership of the tools, and Elle recalls the sleeping and eating challenges theyâve overcome, plus how emotionally aware her kids are since the tools have become a regular feature of family life.
Now, your turn!
Here's why we need to look back sometimes...This episode serves as a reminder of all the miraculous change and good you are doing now and can expect more of in the future.
Listen this week and then scan back over your own milestones, challenges and successes and drink in how far you've come.
How many can you chalk up?
Listen to So, How Far Have Your Come in Your Parenting?
Come celebrate the amazing work you are doing as parents.
More support for your parentingGet these five ideas to make parenting less stressful to keep close when things get hard
Read A Love Letter to Parents
Can't chalk up any recent high points? Listen to Are You Headed for Parent Burnout?
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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Your heart sinks as you join the long line of people snaking the aisle at the grocery store.
Your baby is already making those noises she makes when she wants you to hold her, and there are about 15 minutes until she needs feeding.
You are pretty sure this line will take double that.
How did this happen?
You tried to get out to the store all day, but between your friend dropping in, the late nap, and your toddler refusing to get on his shoes you arrived late. (There's 15 playful ideas for getting out the house here).
Now, heâs begging for snacks, your babyâs cries are escalating and this line doesnât seem to be moving. You pull your baby out of the cart and land her on your hips and she quiets for a few minutes.
But with about three people ahead of you, sheâs screaming again. Sheâs late for her feed. You notice your son has dumped a few fistfuls of candy bars into the cart, and he wails as your dump them back out. The baby cries harder, and you quickly unbutton your shirt so she can feed, you can pay, and you can all get to the car.
You fumble in your bag for the dried apples your son likes and hand him one.
You breathe. Itâs going to be ok...
An Already Hard Situation Gets HarderAnd then a stranger taps you on the shoulder.
âThe feeding room is over there,â she nods. âYou shouldnât breastfeed here. It's offensive."
The Best Ways to Rise Strong after Mom ShameHave you ever been mom-shamed? Or felt judgment in your parenting choices? That moment when things are already feel bad and some person moves in and just makes things feel a hundred times worse?
Join us this week as Abigail describes the gut-wrenching time she got mom-shamed smack bang during one of her most desperate times in parenting.
She explains the exact advice she got that helped her rise strong and move on from mom shame, and we talk about how you can too.
See mom-shaming for what it really is Who to turn to when you've been mom-shamed Why you deserve support when parenting gets hard Small but mighty ways you can help empower other moms and pass mom caring onBounce back from parent shame. Join us this week for The Best Ways to Rise Strong After Mom Shame.
Get More Resouces For Rising Strong After Mom ShameAbigail invites you to join this intimate call with five of the wonderful mom's she's worked with. Find out what transformations they made in their families, and how you can too.
Sign up now - spots are limited.
Join here: https://www.motherflippingawesome.com/meet-mfa-mamas
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So, today weâre talking about the less sunny side of parenting. And when we say less sunny, we really mean those dark, never-ending winter-like days that are bleak, lonely and cold.
They hurt.
Some of us live in denial of these days - and itâs easy to see why. In a world of social media where every picture seems to radiate warmth and snuggly good feeling, saying your experience is any different can open doors to shame and judgment.
Even when we admit it, it's often as whispers while we're alone. âI want to walk out on parenting,â is not something youâd usually proclaim at your mom and toddler group.
If you wanted to keep going, anyways.
But today weâre plummeting those depths in honor of us and in honor of you, because if you have no place else (and we sincerely hope you do - listen to suggestions in the podcast) this should be a safe space.
You all are working so hard at being kind, calm parents - and everyone needs a space to rage.
On the podcast this week, weâre shedding light on:
Why parenting gets so hard At least three things you can try when things get tough How to find peace in parenting lightly when life is overwhelming One tool you must try to find hope in the hard momentsIf youâve ever dared think you canât go on with parenting, or if youâve stuffed those feelings down so long you can barely feel them, we ask you to listen in this week.
Join Abigail's Free Class on AnxietyCatch Abigail's free class on anxiety. Click here to get practical tips on flipping anxiety and living a freer happier life. Join class.
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Powerful ways To Solve Your child's sleep issues using the Hand in Hand Tools
Your kid is going crazy about taking a bath. Just won't. You wrangle and wrestle. It's nearly bedtime after all. You are sooo close!
Then when you finally make it to the bedroom, your child refuses to put on pyjamas. Then requests a drink. And then another. Doesn't want to brush their teeth. Needs a certain toy who, yes, you guessed it, is missing.
Will sleep ever come?
Finally, your child makes it under the covers but as you go to turn off the light, your child screams, "No!" I'm scared of the dark."
"Mama. Don't go."
Should You Stay or Should You Go?And you are left with the question, do you stay or will you go? (Or at least try?)
We called this podcast powerful ways to solve your child's sleep issues because, oh boy, if there was ever a parenting challenge made to test, it's this.
The end of the day.
Alone time insight.
A moments peace or a chance to rest yourself.
Sleep looms bright in our minds.
But so many times looms dark for our kids.
Why Do Some Kids Just Hate Bedtime?Today we're talking why kids have such a hard time with bedtime. (And why we do!). And why sleep issues can be easy to dismiss. Know this - they are MUCH MORE to do with us than our kids.
On Powerful Ways to Banish Fear of the Dark (and other things kids say go bump in the night) we cover:
Lights? Music? Do distractions work? How to take tiny steps toward fear One key thing about leaning in and connecting The counteractive way to banish bedtime blues Hunting down the feelings behind your child's words Listen now to Powerful Ways to Banish Fear of the Dark More Resources to Solve Your Child's Sleep IssuesLike this thinking? Read Three Gentle Ways to Fight A Child's Resistance to Bedtime or Sleep and The One Question You Need To Ask To Help a Child Sleep Better
Get more pre-bedtime games here: Five Games to Help with Bedtime Refusal
Take inspiration from this mom's story about how she used play when her child got scared at bedtime
Last chance to transform your parenting in Parent Club. Grab your spot now, doors close Wednesday. Click here to discover your bonuses, and everything else Parent Club offers you.
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So there it is. An invitation. Your child is waving it in your face with a grin brighter than gold.
And you?
Does your heart soar?
Or sink?
Acceptance Similarity Belonging Self-worth Influence Betrayal Here's Why OUR Friendships MatterFriendships can arouse big feelings - in us as well as our kids - and how we approach the joys and the ickiness friendships can bring requires us to separate. We need to remove the "us" from the "them."
But it can be tough untangling our own feelings when we invite friends into our families. (or they invite us).
This week, weâre inviting you to spend a minute or two thinking about the friends your child has, and the common challenges that come up when kids make friends (or donât!).
From Friends to Frenemies - the good, the bad and the ugly with kids and friends An explanation about why kids exclude others that you may not have considered Why friendships are fluid and how to use the Hand in Hand Tools to anchor relationships When to get involved in friendships and drama, and when to let go Why your friendships influence how you handle children, friends and their fallouts One tool you can use to ease your childrenâs friendships along One conversation to try when your child is getting controlled in a friendshipHelping Kids Get Along: How Laughter Can Bring Friends Together highlights a great way to help kids build bridges.
Need New Friends?It can feel lonely parenting in a new way. And it's hard to forge a new path without support. It's why we created the Parent Club, a daily online spot where you can go find your tribe. Get answers from instructors, tailor the tools to your own family, take classes, get coaching, and meet together for weekly and monthly Lives with instructors (and our founder Patty).
The Parent Club is open now - for one week only!
From September 19 to 25th, you can join the Parent Club. Click here to learn more. -
Coping with divorce?
When todayâs guest, instructor Kristen Zuzek Volk, found Hand in Hand, sheâd almost written off a loving relationship with her daughter.
After divorcing, her two kids were screaming, crying and acting out, her daughter sometimes for nine hours a day.
Coping? Not really.
Kristen was hard on them, and harder on herself.
Even therapy didnât work, so a parenting philosophy like Hand in Hand was the last thing she thought would help.
She was wrong.
Find Peace in Your Parenting After DivorceHand in Handâs tools brought dramatic change to Kristen's family. She learned how to see through her kids' âcrazyâ behavior to the deep hurt causing it, and she found she could heal that hurt using the tools.
Today her kids are teens.
And they are also a tight, bonded, happy unit.
If youâre coping with life after divorce, find out how you can use the tools to reach your kids. How to hold them. Anchor them.
Learn how Kristen dealt with custody transitions, differing parenting styles, and upsets that came with separation.
And learn how she navigated Special Time and Staylistening as a single parent.
If you are separated or divorced, if you are co-parenting or raising your kids mostly on your own, if you feel isolated, or live with a partner whose parenting style is drastically different to yours, there's support for you in this weekâs podcast.
Listen to How to Keep Your Family Strong and Loving after Divorce.
More Resources for Parenting After Separation or DivorceHelping Children with Divorce or Separation is a wonderful resource.
If you loved Kristen's reminder to herself "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way," print this poster for your fridge. (Wait! You're a dad? Then you'll want this copy!).
There are 12 Books for Children Dealing With Divorce here
Work with KristenKristen Zuzek Volk is based in Colorado and works with parents in person and online. You can email Kristen directly here.
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You probably never imagined words like these erupting from your childâs mouth.
Dark.
Venomous.
Hurtful words.
But here they are.
âI hate you!â
Or worse. âI hate myself.â
âI want to die.â
Words that make us want to curl up and cry. Admit defeat. Give up parenting altogether. Except, of course, we canât.
Even piling on hugs and love often doesnât appear to soothe a child hurling those words (and thoughts) in those moments.
So whatâs an emotionally-drained parent to do?
This week on the podcast, weâre talking about the times our kid's words get hurtful, whether theyâre aimed at us or themselves.
Where these words come from When to take notice, when to take action Ways you can respond that shift those thoughts and feelings When play works better than wordsWhen kids say stuff like this, itâs hard. Itâs worse when it feels like yours are the only ones saying them. They arenât. Join us this week for support and suggestions for how to move on when your kid's words get hurtful.
More resources for when kids words get negative:For more about how kids acquire harsh language, read this article
You can listen to negative language as you would a child cry when you staylisten. Here's the science behind the tool and how it works.
What is Hand in Hand Parenting? All you need to know about the listening tools.
Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!Join Abigailâs rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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Want to increase your child's co-operation? Have them listen more? Reduce clinginess?
Sometimes special time can feel like the magic balm in parenting.
It can:
Boost your childâs confidence. It can build their resilience. It can ease your own parent guilt about not spending enough âquality time with your kids. And, one of the biggies, it can INCREASE childrenâs co-operation.It does all these things! Weâve seen it countless times in our own families, but hereâs the thing. Although it can increase co-operation, it isnât guaranteed to.
Especially if you aren't setting up Special Time the right way.
So today, weâre talking about exactly why special time is so useful for increasing your childâs levels of co-operation.
How to set it up so that you stand the best possible chance of seeing this happen. Are you using Special Time as maintenance or rescue? Why does it matter? And the difference between Special Time as a bargaining tool and the genuine invitation of setting everything aside for your child and the big effects that has.If youâve ever felt like Special Time wasnât delivering the way you hoped, come problem-solve with Abigail and Elle on the Podcast this week.
Listen to Can Special Time really increase my childâs level of cooperation?
Set Up Your Special Time for SuccessGet all the help you need making Special Time a regular feature in your family. Join the Special Time Challenge, and increase your child's co-operation and reduce parent guilt.
Youâll get a daily tip to action to make sure you are getting the most you can from this amazing tool, and access to our pop-up group, with even more support, including lives with our instructors.
It starts on September 4th and its free, so what are you waiting for?
Join here
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What gets you super seething mama mad?
Is it the constant asks and requests, the âMom whereâs my⊠thatâs so overwhelming?
Maybe itâs the piles of toys and dishes and chip packets you asked to be tidied but are still smirking at you from the living room?
Maybe itâs the stubbornness and defiance your child shows when you ask them to take a bath after giving them a wonderful day out?
At least, you think itâs that the cause of all your parent anger!
But what if that's not really it at all?
What if the source of your rage is connected to the limits you are setting. Or, more correctly, not setting?
What does parent anger have to do with setting limits, anyway?
This week on the podcast weâre sharing what behaviors make us blow and figuring out why. We show you how why, when you peel back the layers of feelings tightly packing your parent anger, you might well find a mama who was too exhausted, too overwhelmed, or too oblivious to set limits with her kids.
And we talk about why not setting limits leads to rupture.
Do you know the best way out of Parent Anger?This week, we're talking:
How to start identifying your triggers and trace the source of your dissatisfaction Why setting limits (or not setting them) leads to arguments and rage What your parent anger can teach you, and how to recover from it The power of frontloading to keep your family on track and running without disruption Why good limits begin with getting clear on your values Abigail also shares two good tips for getting good âanti-rageâ systems in placeJoin us on the podcast this week for Do you know the best way out of Parent Anger?
Listen now:
Abigail and Elle are Taking A Break
Weâre nine episodes away from 100! And while we love and appreciate the chance to connect with you weekly, we also need to set some limits - with our own schedules.
Weâll be taking a bit of a break after episode 100, and we'd love to ask you a favor!
How Have Things Changed?
We want to feature your voices in episode 100. If you want to be included leave us a message.
All you need to do is to include these three things:
Your name or pseudonym Where you are from And answer, âWhat has this podcast done for your parenting?âYou can also call: 818-643-1714
And if you canât call, email Abigail and Elle at [email protected]
More support for Parent Anger:
These five ideas and wonderful in times of parent meltdown: Crazy Mad: Five Ways To Ward off Parent Anger
Listening Partnerships are THEY BEST way to offload anger and examine your triggers. We also use them to explore our parenting values. Download this free guide to Listening Partnerships to get some set up.
For daily answers to your parenting questions join our wonderful free community. Join Parents Connect
What Could We Do Better?While weâre rebooting, share your ideas! Please let us know how we can do better, and what parenting topics youâd most like for us to cover in future episodes at [email protected]
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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If you catch yourself late at night, surrounded by toys, folding clothes and wondering why you don't have time or energy to take a shower, ask yourself:
Why am I doing all the chores? Where are my kids when I need them? And why aren't those helpful little mice from Cinderella a real thing?And then breathe.
Because chances are if you don't, you'll explode the mother lode with a tyranny of "Why do I never get any help around here?
"Why do you NEVER pick up?"
"Why do I have to ask you THREE times,"
You know, all that fun explosive stuff you promised you wouldn't yell.
Things Are About to ChangeThis week on How to Make Your Kids Love Chores we're looking at some great ways you can actually get down and dirty with getting your kids on board with helping around the house.
On the podcast this week, we're talking:
Working with your toddler's natural inclinations to help Getting clear on what works for you and your kids when it comes to chores Working on a feedback loop that encourages chat and change Figuring out what's holding you and your family back from a workable chores plan The debate between rewards, charts, and consequences And Guest-Starring...Chores From a Kid's P.O.VAbigail's son even makes a (surprise) guest debut this week and shares some very insightful reasons on why he detests doing laundry! (We giggled!).
Join us this week if you are tired of battling the kids around chores, or you just don't know where to get started on setting chores for your kids.
More To Help You In Your Quest in Managing Chores for KidsTake a look at this primer on Hand in Hand Parenting's approach to chores
Here's our podcast on Emotional Projects
Remember that study we talked about where kids love to help pick up? Here it is
And, since it's good to harness help in the toddler years, get this Transition to Toddlerhood guide if you have an ankle-biter. Download now
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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What's the one thing you want for your child when they are sick?
To have them feel better.
What's the one thing that most often gets in the way of that?
When you walk away with a specialist appointment or wonkily-written script from Doc you have two things: A ticket better health for your child, hopefully, and also a potential prescription for tears and battles.
How do you keep calm and carry on?
This week on the podcast we show you how you can use the tools to overcome medical worry, emergencies, trauma and stress.
Because when you are parenting sick kids, it isn't just them who suffers.
Whether your child has been through common childhood complaints or more serious medical challenges, we'll show you what you can do to soothe things (that don't just rely on a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down).
On Parenting Sick Kids this week, learn: How Abigail armed herself with the tools to make a complete care package for her son's heart-surgery - and her own sanity. This is really inspiring stuff. Why a slowly-slowly approach can eradicate all fears and battles What happens when medication NEEDS to happen How Special Time can totally turn things around - and what to do when it doesn't
And how to take care of you, your other half and your kids when procedures get traumaticIf your child gets dotty about doctor's visits or mad about meds, listen in today and turn that panic around.
Listen to Parenting Sick Kids: How To Navigate Medicine, Worry and StressAnd if it's you who is sick? Read this post on how to be sick and a mom
Parenting a sick child can be hard enough, and it gets even tougher when your other child feels left out. Discover how to balance things out in this post
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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You probably got very excited when you discovered that Hand in Hand Parenting had five tools that could rescue you when parenting got sticky (or downright dirty).
Very excited.
It was the exact result you wanted Google to deliver. It may even have been how you found our podcast.
You needed answers.
Here they were.
Even better. These five tools were kind parenting tools. They meant you could stop feeling like a demon mother ready to explode the moment your child said no, got sassy, or gave you a kick in the shins.
Which is often, by the way.
With new and ever rosier visions of running together with your kid through green and blooming fields (or, maybe the park, or the mall if you are city dwellers like us) you couldn't wait to stop yelling and start connecting. To start forging beautiful, sunset-glowy memories...
So why do you still feel like you are messing it all up?
Your Parenting Fails are A-OKWhy do you still feel yourself sliding into motherlode-ready-to-explode mode?
Why are you tearful, or fearful, or just too plain exhausted to dig deep into the tools? (All you want to dig deep into is the cookie jar).
Why?
Because, dear mama, if you set out to master motherhood you are chasing an impossible dream.
We've been there too!
Let us tell you something - we tell other parents how to parent and we still mess up.
Bigtime!
Yes, our stories are littered with so-called parenting fails.
Getting Real on our Parenting FailsThis week we're celebrating 500,000 downloads (break out the ice-cream cake and some Pinot) by getting real about our parenting fails.
What stretches our patience to the max? The moments we lose it (and what happens afterward) And how the rockiest parts of our parenting journey have lead us to some surprising new destinationsSee, we're learning (always learning!) that these "parenting fails" are not fails at all. (In fact, after this episode we vow to NEVER call these diversions that at all!).
Join us this week as we dish the dirt on our mothering mishaps and mayhem and share some shinier thinking on how it all fits together in the end.
This is for you if you ever felt like you failed at motherhood - because you just never ever deserve to feel like that.
Listen now to How to Master Motherhood (and other parenting lies) now
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid's swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn't want to put on his swim clothes. He won't go to the pool. "I HATE swim class," he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won't Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn't going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child's defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don't Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you're ready to blow. Do you: A: Sit and listen to your child's outburst, and watch the clock tick past the start of the swim lesson. B: Pack your defiant child under one arm and the scooter under another and march over to the pool. C: Announce that class is off and suggest getting an ice-cream instead. You'll tackle this some other time. Surprise! None of these are right. And none of them are wrong! Today on the podcast we share ideas and tools that will help you decide how to respond when your child gets defiant and simply says "No." Listen in for: - Surefire strategies to prevent these stands-offs from happening in the first place - Why every limit you give your child is actually multiple limits bound together as one and how to unravel them - How to get clear on limits you want to hold and those you can let slip away - What to do when you absolutely, really, definitely need your child do something and they are defiant in saying no STAY CONNECTED We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges.;Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
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Your child grabs the one extra cookie you said he wasnât allowedâŠ
What do you do?
Or your daughter whines the minute she sees you pull out peanut butter for her toast...
Or, when your son hears that his sister is having a sleepover he yells that youâre a mean mom...and that you have wrinkles!
Yes he did.
To Play or Not to Play...That is the QuestionWould you, could you playfully parent in these situations, or would you Staylisten to your childâs upset?
A lot of parents ask us when to play and when to stay and we answer in the podcast this week:
When to play and when to stay...
When can you play and then stayâŠ
And why would you stay then playâŠ
Ok, weâll stop with the rhyming now and get down to business.
Listen to Yes! You can Playlisten when your child is upset. Weâre talking: Discover the signals children use to tell you play is ok today or that itâs better to stay... Playful parenting ideas you can use when storm clouds are just brewing How to move from Staylistening into play How to decide if you are Staylistening too much when you could be playing instead And why play isnât a substitute for Staylistening and why we canât replace tears with laughter Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!Join Abigailâs rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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Since we have all personally gone through potty training and we will all have to go through it with our kids, you'd think we'd have nailed down one, surefire potty training method.
But the 11,000 google results you get when you type in 'How to potty train my child,' clearly shows that a one-size-fits-all approach is about as likely as you getting a 5-minute shower with no disruptions.
Yerright.
Sadly, there is no magic potty training method. And sometimes it feels like you'll still be sitting with your child and wiping their butt when they go off to college! But, don't fear...
So Many Methods, So Many Questions Potty-train in 3 days or wait till they lead? Will pee but won't poop... Is fine at home but won't pee at pre-school... Pull-ups or bare bums?The questions are endless.
Which is why we get wholly confused, flabbergasted, frustrated, impatient and exhausted when it comes to potty training.
Does this rite of passage have to be so arrrgh?
This week, a few ideas to help.
No matter which potty training method or approach you lean towards you can incorporate the Hand in Hand tools to de-stress the process. And we can certainly promise some fun solutions too.
This week, find out out how you can laugh, play and cry your way to the potty and back. You'll discover...
Play methods you can use to reduce potty pressure and power battles. What to expect from the potty training years, whichever method you choose. Why we veer clear of rewards and use laughter instead A slowly-slowly approach that really works with fearful kidsWe're talking the good, the bad and the stinky in potty training. Join us for How to Potty Train Your Child in 10 Easy Years and then get the super fun potty training games in 8 Ways to Make Potty Training Playful.
Join the waitlist for the Hand in Hand Parent Club. Entry is closed right now, but we'll be back open in the fall.
Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!Join Abigailâs rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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âMom, I canât go to camp today. I have a stomachache.â
This is the third time this week your child has complained of a sore stomach, and yet she shows no other symptoms of being unwell.
You wonderâŠis something else going on under the radar?
Does your child complain of stomachaches? Does she get tearful or angry regularly, refuse to go places or try new things? Does your child worry a lot, gets obsessive or compulsive? Does he or she act clingy or have trouble sleeping?Or, do you see all of these?
what are the signs my child is anxious?Child anxiety is on the rise, but even if your child has not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, all children have anxious moments. And what can look like defiance or stubbornness can indicate your child is feeling anxious.
Reading the signs and responding to them with actionable strategies can help a child shake off anxiety and emerge stronger and more resilient.
try these 3 ideas to flip your childâs anxiousnessOn this episode of the Hand in Hand podcast, we look at the causes and signs of child anxiety, and Abigail shares three really useful flips you can use to turn your child's anxious behavior around. You'll share new insights and mindshifts that will point your child towards strength and confidence.
Listen now.
More on How the Hand in Hand Tools Work with trauma
You can learn more about the therapeutic benefits of using Hand in Hand Parenting here. Get download.
Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!Join Abigailâs rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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Have you ever asked your child to do something simple, like pack their toys away before dinner? For a second they stare back and you wide-eyed, all chubby-cheeked cherubic sweetness.
And then they scrunch those eyes and tell you to $#@ off?
oh no, she didnâtâŠKids who cuss are more common than you might think. If you put those terms into any search engine results throw up videos full of kids swearing.
Some people, apparently, find kids swearing hilarious.
Others not so much.
And as we share on the podcast this week where you are on the parenting swearing spectrum has much to do with how swear words showed up in your own childhood.
This week weâre talking about why some kids swear with glee and other kids, well meh, theyâd rather go draw a comic. Weâre talking the parenting shame and humiliation that happens when your kid swears and what you can do. Weâre talking about getting light around swearing while at the same time setting limits on sassy language. And weâre talking about how swearing can offer fertile grounds for connecting. Yes, you read that right, you can use swearing to bring you closer. try a little four-letter funâŠAnd because this podcast is the shizzaz weâre sharing four strategies you can use to get clear on where your family stands with swearing and handling your kids when their searing looks like its spiraling.
If youâve been asking why is my kid swearing? Listen to the podcast this week and discover why there may are many reasons your child is swearing, and why none of them are bad.
a little something extraOh and here are 15 of Shakespeareâs swears (that Abigail mentioned) and they are way too fun. Would thou wouldst burst?
This post shares more on why kids get hooked on bad words and how you can respond.
find your tribe Schoolâs out and so are weSummer enrolment for the Parent Club is closing soon. Check out our special summer offerâŠbefore itâs gone
Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!Join Abigailâs rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.
Stay connectedWeâd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]
Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Donât forget to subscribe!Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter
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