Episodes
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In this episode, we delve into the complexities of gratitude. As American Thanksgiving approaches, gratitude becomes a hot topic, but is forcing gratitude always a good idea? I explore why it’s okay not to feel grateful during challenging times and how embracing intentionality and celebration can create genuine positive emotions. Listen in as I share personal stories, insights from coaching sessions, and actionable steps to help you break free from fake gratitude and step into a more fulfilling life.
Episode Highlights with Timestamps:
[00:00] - Introduction: Amanda introduces the topic of gratitude and explains the inspiration behind this episode—American Thanksgiving.
[02:30] - The Problem with Forced Gratitude: Amanda shares her perspective on why forcing gratitude can feel like gaslighting and why it’s often counterproductive during tough times.
[06:15] - Real Gratitude vs. Fake Gratitude: What is real gratitude? Amanda explains how genuine gratitude emerges naturally after processing emotions, rather than as a forced response.
[09:40] - The Power of CelebrationAmanda discusses how celebrating achievements, no matter how small, can be more impactful than surface-level gratitude practices.
[12:25] - Client Story: Finding Deeper CelebrationsA client’s journey to celebrating her ability to trust her own decisions rather than relying on others.
[14:45] - Why Gratitude Feels Hollow: Amanda shares how “ticking the gratitude box” often doesn’t spark meaningful change or fulfillment.
[17:30] - Overcoming Fear to Access Joy and Fulfillment: Using her own figure skating experience, Amanda illustrates how pushing through fear leads to deeper emotions of pride, excitement, and joy.[22:50] - Fear as the Gateway to Growth: Amanda reframes fear as a necessary component of growth and shares how discomfort can lead to significant emotional payoffs.
[26:10] - Practical Steps to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone: Amanda offers actionable advice on how to step out of your comfort zone and create more connection, joy, and excitement in your life.[30:15] - Coaching Strategies for Tackling Anxiety and Fear: Amanda discusses how breaking down anxiety into manageable pieces helps clients move past fears and achieve meaningful goals.
[34:00] - Why True Gratitude is Built Through Action: Amanda shares how living intentionally and taking courageous steps fosters authentic gratitude.
[37:40] - Call to Action: Amanda invites listeners to book a discovery call to begin their transformation journey and reminds them not to wait until the new year to start.
Key Quotes:
“If you’re forcing gratitude, it’s not gratitude; it’s gaslighting yourself.”
“Real gratitude comes when we’ve processed the hard stuff and see how it’s shaped us.”
“The price we pay for joy, pride, and fulfillment is stepping out of our comfort zones.”
“Don’t wait until the new year to start your transformation. You can start feeling different tomorrow.”
Resources Mentioned:
Book a Free Coaching Consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall
Connect with Amanda on Social Media: Instagram | Tiktok
Leave a Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps this podcast grow and reach more women who are ready to transform their lives.
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In this episode, I welcome neurodiversity consultant Jenine Lillian to discuss their journey to an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, overcoming societal expectations, and building an inclusive world. Janine shares their unique perspective, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, connection, and actionable steps to live authentically.
- **[00:00] - Intro and Welcome**
Amanda introduces Jenine Lillian, highlighting their work as a neurodiversity consultant and their warm personality.
- **[02:00] - Jenine’s Journey to Diagnosis**
Jenine shares their story of receiving a formal autism diagnosis at 52 and the barriers they faced along the way.
- **[10:30] - Navigating Neurodivergence**
Jenine discusses the challenges of masking, societal expectations, and the importance of authentic connections.
- **[18:45] - Self-Care and Rest**
The power of walking without a phone, limiting sensory input, and finding joy in quiet moments.
- **[26:15] - Breaking Down Stereotypes**
Jenine shares why labels like “too sensitive” or “overly emotional” can be harmful and the need to treat people as individuals.
- **[34:50] - Building Community**
Amanda and Jenine reflect on the value of saying “good morning” and creating layers of connection in life.
- **[42:00] - Addressing Inner Criticism**
How self-worth, dismantling past trauma, and embracing optimism can lead to empowerment.
- **[50:30] - What Jenine Offers**
Jenine talks about their business, including workshops for employers, executive dysfunction support, and their role as a resource for adults navigating neurodivergence.
- **[57:15] - The Importance of Play and Experimentation**
Jenine encourages listeners to try new things and “try on” new ideas to discover what brings them joy.
- **[01:03:00] - Final Thoughts and Homework**
Jenine leaves listeners with practical homework: take 20 minutes today to do something restorative for yourself.
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**Resources and Links**
**Connect with Jenine Lillian**:
Visit their website at jeninelillian.com
**Amanda’s Coaching Services**:
Book a free discovery call at amandahess.ca
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**Key Quotes**
- *"There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s about finding the support you need to thrive."* – Janine Lillian
- *"When you give without expecting something in return, you find the most authentic connections."* – Amanda
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If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with someone who might benefit from Janine’s insights. Let’s build a world that’s more inclusive for everyone!
Jenine Lillian Bio
Jenine Lillian (Jenine, they/them) is a Neurodiversity Consultant, educator, artist, writer,
and librarian. For more than 20 years, Jenine has taught and presented across the
public library sector in both the United States and Canada. Jenine has received national
recognition for their advocacy and library work with teens. After receiving a very
late-in-life diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Jenine started their
neurodiversity consultancy to raise awareness, reduce stigma and increase inclusion for
neurodiversity and other invisible disabilities. Jenine lives in the Kootenays, British
Columbia, where they can be found making art, talking with folks on sidewalks,
birdwatching, building community through service and networking, and practicing
self-care. You can reach Jenine at [email protected] and explore their website at
www.jeninelillian.com.
Contact Jenine Lillian
[email protected] email
www.jeninelillian.com website
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Episodes manquant?
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In this episode, I delve deep into my personal journey and share insights on embracing and understanding emotions. As someone who has walked through emotional battles and navigated the ups and downs of diagnosis, I know how transformative it is to learn emotional resilience. We explore the essential nature of emotions, the importance of releasing judgment, and why moving beyond labels can unlock a more fulfilling life. This episode is about reducing suffering, increasing self-love, and finding a way to live joyfully, even with life’s challenges.
- **[0:00] Introduction and Personal Journey**
I reflect on the journey of this podcast and my personal growth in business. This podcast is more than just content; it's a heartfelt endeavor to help others.
- **[3:00] The Importance of Emotions**
Emotions are the core of a fulfilling life. We talk about how managing emotions is crucial for living intentionally and powerfully.
- **[5:45] Personal Experiences with Emotional Battles**
I share my past struggles with intense emotions and how they impacted my life, especially during early motherhood. Emotions can be overwhelming, but there is a way to navigate them.
- **[11:20] Client Stories and Emotional Challenges**
My clients’ experiences vary widely—from inner battles to life-altering events. Regardless of their circumstances, it all comes back to how they handle emotions.
- **[16:30] Understanding and Allowing Emotions**
We're not taught how to feel or understand emotions deeply. I discuss how learning about feelings, their bodily sensations, and their impact on us is transformative.
- **[21:10] Moving Beyond Diagnosis**
A diagnosis doesn’t have to define you. I share my experience with clinical diagnoses and why I choose to see them as information rather than identity. Diagnosis can provide insight, but it’s not a life sentence.
- **[26:50] Reducing Suffering and Enhancing Life**
The goal in coaching is to reduce suffering and increase life satisfaction. We start by managing pain, then look for ways to enrich and enliven life.
- **[30:45] Compulsion vs. Desire**
Compulsion often drives us out of fear, whereas desire is about genuine longing. Shifting from compulsion to desire is key to creating a life you truly want.
- **[33:15] Final Thoughts and Closing Invitation**
Imagine what life could be like if you let go of the belief that something’s inherently wrong with you. What if you could experience relief, joy, and love without fixing "everything"?
**Connect with Me:**
If you’re ready to work through emotional challenges, I invite you to book a free call with me at [amandahess.ca](https://www.amandahess.ca) to start the journey to reducing suffering and creating a life you love.
**Outro:**
Thank you so much for tuning in! New episodes drop weekly. Please consider leaving a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more listeners like you. And if you’re ready to make lasting change, schedule a free consult at amandahess.ca
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Are you struggling with loneliness, craving genuine friendships, or feeling stuck in the same old patterns? I'm here to help. Join me as we explore the importance of human connection, the challenges of making friends in adulthood, and practical steps you can take to create meaningful relationships. Whether it's through my coaching insights or personal stories, I'm dedicated to helping you break the cycle of loneliness and build the connections you crave. Tune in every week for new episodes, and don't forget to book a free consult if you need personalized support. Let's make a real change together! – Amanda Hess
00:00 Introduction and Personal Message
01:19 The Reality of Loneliness
02:32 Understanding Coaching
03:31 The Importance of Friendship
06:06 Challenges in Making Friends
13:08 Steps to Build Connections
24:18 The Value of Being a Good Friend
25:48 Creating a Friendship Fabric
29:08 Final Thoughts and Invitation
30:45 Introduction to Friendship Topic
31:12 Understanding Coaching and Its Role
32:47 The Importance of Human Connection
35:04 Challenges of Making Friends as Adults
42:18 Steps to Build Adult Friendships
53:42 The Value of Being a Good Friend
55:13 Creating a Friendship Fabric
58:36 Conclusion and Next Steps
Book a discovery call with Amanda: https://amandahess.ca
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Kathryn's Journey: From Therapy to Coaching Transformation
In this heartfelt podcast episode, I, Amanda, welcome my client Kathryn, who shares her incredible journey over the past year through life coaching. Kathryn talks about her background as a clinical psychologist, the distinctions between therapy and coaching, and how small, enjoyable experiences have led to major life changes for her. She opens up about her struggles with a difficult divorce and feeling emotionally shut down, and reflects on the impactful shifts in her mindset and beliefs. You'll hear about the 'Rat Park' concept, layering positive experiences, and the importance of letting go of shame. We also discuss my unique coaching style and how anyone, at any age, can experience personal growth. This episode is packed with insights and inspiration for anyone looking to transform their life.
If you are curious about working with Amanda, you can book a call to talk it over with her here: https://usemotion.com/meet/amanda-hess/call
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
02:15 Kathryn'sJourney to Coaching
03:32 The Impact of Coaching on Divorce Recovery
04:51 Understanding Emotional Barriers
07:38 Small Steps to Big Changes
11:45 The Rat Park Analogy
19:04 Releasing Shame and Embracing Pleasure
29:26 Shifting Perspectives and Expanding Capacity
32:09 Understanding Emotional Resistance
32:23 Growing Capacity for Emotions
32:41 Balancing Negative and Positive Emotions
33:17 Hyper Responsibility and Earning Joy
35:39 Parental Expectations and Happiness
37:23 Contentment and Optimism
40:23 Embracing Risk and Flexibility
48:32 Coaching vs. Therapy
52:41 Final Thoughts and Gratitude
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When we start down the road of personal development - we quickly notice that negative self-talk is a problem. We see that our negative thoughts about ourselves create results that we don't want. The thing is, we think that what we need is to shut that voice up. But the problem is that we can't do it. I'm going to teach you what actually works.
Book a free call with Amanda: https://amandahess.ca/bookacall/
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Burnout is something that everybody is talking about. If you think you might be burned out, you probably are. But that doesn't mean that is where you need to stay. Let's talk about it.
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Making the decision to change your life can be so much easier than you think. The only reason decisions seem hard is because we think there are RIGHT decisions and there are WRONG decisions. But the truth is, you are only one decision away from changing the trajectory of your life at ANY given time. You don't need more time or more information, you need to learn how to trust yourself. Are you ready to change your life?
Ready for change? Book a call with Amanda and make real progress towards making that decision: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/Discovery
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Welcome to the Top Ten Podcast Episodes! Today we start with number 9: How To Love Yourself When You Think You Shouldn't.
Self-Love is hard even when we are trying to love things that other people say we SHOULD love. But what about the things people say we shouldn't? Learning to love everything about myself, including behaviors that could be viewed as unacceptable, has been the catalyst in changing my life. Take a listen to discover how loving the things you don't like about yourself could change your entire life.
Book a free Discovery Call with Amanda here: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/Discovery
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Join me as I walk you through what it was like to be a 48 year old adult in a tiny dress who stepped onto a cold rink and danced and jumped my way through a figure skating program 2 days in a row. I learned 2 very important life lessons from that experience, and today I am sharing them with you. Let me entertain you while I also show you how to transform your life. This is going to be so fucking fun!
You might think I am insane for signing up for this competition, but it might surprise you to know that I never used to believe I could do anything like that. In fact, I used to struggle figuring out what to even do with myself most days. If this sounds like you, I want to invite you to book a discovery call with me. This free call will help you start figuring out what you DO want. go to joinamanda.ca to set that up.
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Welcome to the Top Ten Podcast Episodes! Today we start with number 10: Woman Guilt
If there is one emotion that I know that every women feels on a daily basis, it's GUILT. We feel guilt about everything: What we eat, what we drink, the time we spend on ourselves, the money we spend on ourselves, etc. We basically feel guilty about basically everything. And honestly, it's so fucked up! We feel guilty for taking up any space at all. And that has to stop. I'm breaking it all down in this episode and giving you some real tools to get started today.
Ready to drop the woman guilt? It all starts with booking a free Discovery Call: Book HERE: https://amandahess.ca
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I have been told I was too emotional my whole life. I have always had big feelings and guess what? That is never going to change. AND it turns out that there is no such thing as being TOO emotional. There is just you and your emotions and the truth of what that looks like for you. We worry a lot about being too emotional and too much for other people, but instead we need to flip our thinking and supporting ourselves being the gorgeous emotional humans that we are. Listen in to find out how.
Book a free discovery call: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/call
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This TikTok trend for Demure and Mindful seems like just a fun little trend. But it's actually perpetuating a female stereotype that you are going to want to distance yourself from with a 10 foot pole. You don't need to be more demure, or polite, or ladylike. You do want to know how to be strong and capable to actually enjoy your life while you get to be yourself. Give me 10 minutes to change how you think about yourself and watch your life change exponentially. You deserve a big and strong life.
Register for my upcoming Masterclass: Reduce Your Stress Without Reducing Your Life
Book a free Discovery Call with Amanda: https://amandahess.ca
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Register for the Reduce Your Stress Without Reducing Your Life Masterclass: amanahesss.ca/stress
Stress. We have all had it drilled into us that we have to reduce our stress, but how are we supposed to do that with our busy lives? The truth is, if we had time for meditating and relaxing, we wouldn't be stressed, right? Today I am going to show you a different way to think about stress. Stress is a normal, human emotion. We are supposed to feel it. The issue is not that we experience stress, the issue is that the amount we feel is simply out of balance. In today's episode, I'm going to share how you can reduce your stress without reducing the quality of your life or making you into a different person. Let's go!
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Hardship is a part of living. Sometimes it can feel like there is no way to go through hardship without losing yourself to sadness, depression and hopelessness along the way. I used to struggle with this too and I want to show you the way you can do it without getting emotionally lost. Navigating hardship is something that can get a lot easier, when we know how to handle our emotions. Today's episode is going to walk you through each step.
In this episode we cover:
- The unique experience of hardship (we are all just human)
- Grieving & handling emotions (how to do it in a way that you are not always falling apart)
- Managing emotions (what to really do to process emotions)
- Ways to experience happiness and joy when going through hardship
Want help with this? Let's get on a Strategy Session. Book here: https://amandahess.ca
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If you worry about what other people think, Congratulations! This means you are human. It's normal to worry what other people think, but that doesn't mean we need to consciously keep it that way. One way to release what other people think, is to let them be wrong about you. It's simple and it works. Listen in to learn how to apply this in a way that can truly change your life and your ability to stop caring what other people think and instead start deciding what you want to think instead.
Ready to get on a call with me and find out how I can help you with this? Book HERE.
Want to join a community of likeminded women to help support and lift each other up? Join HERE
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You might already know that making yourself a priority is something you should be doing, but did you know that it's actually the number one factor in creating a life you love living? Without making yourself a priority, nothing in your life is going to work long-term. It's one thing to know this, and it is completely another thing to implement it. As women, we have been socialized for years to prioritize everything ahead of ourselves, including the family pet. Today I break down why you need to change your priorities and how to do it in a way that actually sticks.
Ready to get on a call to chat about it? BOOK HERE
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I think by now you probably know that being overly critical of yourself is making things harder for yourself. But do you know WHY you criticize yourself? It's not because you are somehow messed up, a lot of it has to do with how the human brain is designed to function. Another big part of this is how we are raised and socialized as women. You actually don't need to stop criticizing all the time, but you do need to have awareness for when you are being overly critical and know what to do instead. That is what I am teaching you in today's episode.
It's not too late to join the Sensitive Girl Summer Challenge, Join by clicking HERE
If you are ready to explore change, it's time for us to chat. Set up a free call with me here: Strategy Session
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Are you a crier? Do you know somebody that cries a lot? Does crying make you uncomfortable? Do you wish you could stop yourself from crying? Do you think crying is weak? If so, this episode is for you. In today's episode I am going to show you why you cry and why it makes you feel embarrassed or even ashamed. Crying is complicated, but ultimately it is one of the truly vulnerable ways we show that something is emotionally difficult for us. You don't need to cry more and you definitely don't need to cry less. But we really do need to talk about what you are going to make crying mean. Discovering the key to crying when you are a sensitive soul will unlock a new level of deep knowing with yourself. I can't wait to show you how you can let go of feeling embarrassed to cry.
As always, you can book a free call with me to discuss this further. Book here: https://amandahess.ca
You also are invited to join my free community for neurodivergent & sensitive women here: Join the Self-Love Club
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Today we delve into the concept of emotional independence. Most of us are raised to be emotionally dependent, which means we think our emotional safety comes from other people, but it's actually the opposite. If we rely on other people to make us feel emotionally safe, it is inconsistent at best. What we focus on today is increasing emotional independence. Emotional Independence is something you can increase with some simple tools that are accessible to everyone. Listen in to find out more
Don't forget to join The Sensitive Girl Summer Challenge
Book a free Strategy Session with Amanda HERE
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