Episodes
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Don't let unwanted same-sex attraction hold you back from a life of purpose and possibility. In this episode, Jason Mellard tells his story of feeling separate from masculinity and how that affected him sexually. Hear how Jason found lasting freedom from porn through finding his voice, grieving his wounds, and stepping into his purpose.
Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. He has experienced sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and freedom from porn. Jason is committed to helping men live beyond their unwanted attractions and negative habits into a life of purpose and possibility through the power of Christ and for the glory of God.
Listen to Jason's podcast, Own Your Identity, where he provides practical tools to bring clarity and hope to men navigating unwanted same-sex attraction.
Jason is also the creator of SSAquiz.com. Take the quiz to discover how much same-sex attraction is impacting your life.
Learn more about Jason at ownyouridentitynow.com.Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Have you ever felt afraid to be vulnerable? Me too! In this episode, Trent Dollyhigh tells his story of childhood trauma, porn, pastoral ministry, prison, rehab, and a new life of redemptive risks. Here is a man who lost the world and gained his soul. May Trent inspire you to be vulnerable!
"There is no relationship without risk." —Trent Dollyhigh
Trent Dollyhigh is the founder of Be Vulnerable Mentoring, a recovery mentoring ministry. Trent is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Bachelor's of Science in Education and a Master's of Divinity in leadership and counseling. He has experienced healing from trauma, divorce, and pornography. Trent's past immaturity, lack of courage, unhealthy sexuality, and fear as a lead pastor cost him almost everything. He has done the hard work of recovery from his own failures, and he has spent years living in freedom. Trent's passion is to guide others from their brokenness to redemption. He has experience with clinical residential treatment and years of recovery work specializing in sexual addiction and trauma. He works with men, women, and couples and is available for 1-on-1 mentoring, intensives, speaking engagements, group mentoring, and wilderness trips. If you're looking for a trauma-informed mentor with personal experience with sexual addiction and recovery, contact Trent to begin the journey to hope and healing.
Learn more at TrentDollyhigh.com.Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Episodes manquant?
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What can Inside Out 2 teach us about outgrowing porn? I’ll share my top three takeaways. Spoiler alert: important plot details will be revealed.
Experience Healing Through IFS, with Dr. Peter MalinoskiUnburdening Sexual Arousal, with Dr. Peter MalinoskiInternal Family Systems and Jesus, with Kim MillerMove Toward, Not Against, with Jenna RiemersmaThe Image Of God In You, with Jenna Riemersma
Related episodes about Internal Family Systems (IFS):Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuilding trust.
Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.com
Buy Barb's book (this is a paid link):Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
private online communityonline support groupsintensive retreats1:1 coaching
Lyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.
Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.org
More resources for women from Hope Redefined:
Listen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!
Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behavior, how to set appropriate boundaries while practicing empathy, and what wives really want from their husbands in the healing process (VOWS). This teaching is absolutely brilliant. Take notes!
private online communityonline support groupsintensive retreats1:1 coaching
Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.com
Buy Barb's book (this is a paid link):
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Lyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.
Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.org
More resources for women from Hope Redefined:
Listen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!
Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Through the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch, you'll hear how Jesus heals sexual shame, childhood trauma, systemic injustice, and the agonizing experience of being excluded and emasculated. If I could sum it up in two words: you belong!
This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 9, 2024 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado. Sign up to be notified about the 2025 retreat here.
Watch the video here.Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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We all experience sexual attraction differently (SSA, OSA, etc). In this episode, we explore the benefits, challenges, and limitations of forming deep friendships with men who experience different types of sexual attraction.
How To Escape A Creepy Conversation Before SextingAppropriate Nudity Between Men (LIVE)
Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew
Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at HM. Email Henry at [email protected].
Jason Pidcock is a trauma-informed recovery coach and HM Community Member. Learn more at jasonpidcockcoaching.com.
Jordan Castille is a board-certified Christian counselor and Certified HM Coach. Learn more at castillecoaching.com.
Mentioned in this episode:Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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How do you view men who experience same-sex attraction (SSA)? In this episode, Jordan Castille and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to men.
Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) - Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, Tex-Mex, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does one-on-one coaching and small group coaching within the Husband Material Community. He is trained with partner betrayal sensitivity through the APSATS organization.
https://www.castillecoaching.com
Book a Call
Email: [email protected]Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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How do you view men who experience opposite-sex attraction (OSA)? In this episode, Jason Pidcock and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to women.
Jason Pidcock is a Certified Trauma Informed Recovery Coach and longtime member of the Husband Material community. Jason is passionate about helping men overcome the coping strategies they have developed that are no longer serving them well. After finding much healing from his own story of spiritual abuse and pornography addiction, he is transitioning from a career as a construction contractor to working full-time as a coach helping other men find their path to wholeness.
Reach out to Jason here…
Website: Www.jasonpidcockcoaching.com
Email: [email protected]Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you.
Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (paid link)How To Interpret Sexual FantasiesHow To Analyze Sexual FantasiesWhy We Sexualize Emotions...And How To Desexualize Them
Related resources:Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Have you ever felt unable to enter into your wife's pain? In this episode, Nathaniel Gustafson explains how to come close to your wife in a way she is more likely to trust. You'll learn how to stay out of shame, keep the spotlight on her, and practice these skills before "game time." Sobriety is not enough. You must learn empathy. Nathaniel's compassionate guidance will help you develop it.
Watch the video of this episode here.
Nathaniel Gustafson is a licensed professional counselor and ordained pastor who specializes in working with men and couples recovering from pornography and affairs. Nathaniel also offers monthly webinars alongside his wife, Tammy.
Learn more about Nathaniel at tenderheartedmen.com
Join Nathaniel's next Know Your Why Workshop in October!Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Many men have been wounded by women. In this episode, Britta Eskey explains how women can help men heal wounds caused by women. Without women, we are missing half of humanity.
Britta Eskey co-founded COR, which assists people in finding and living their purpose, including through the Noble Man workshop. Britta is the author of Initiations in Love, a spiritual memoir which answers the age old question: “What do we do with our pain?” Britta has a background in social work, family therapy, counseling, family constellation work, dance and movement, spiritual direction, and life coaching. Britta is a NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) trauma-informed professional and a certified Compassion Cultivation Teacher. She lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with her husband, Lee Eskey, and their dog, Heidi.
Explore Britta's work at corexperience.com
Buy Britta's book: Initiations in Love: A Memoir (paid link)
Learn more about The Noble Man Workshop at corexperience.com/noblemanTake the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal.
The "good boy" who became "the hero."The "bad boy" who became "the villain."The "hurt boy" who became "the victim."
You'll meet:
Porn And The Inner ChildThe Inner Child ChallengeHow To Heal Your Inner ChildFind The Boy Within The ManFour Ways To Reparent Yourself
Related episodes:Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com. You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in protecting yourself from porn without giving up your phone, this episode is for you.
Learn more at pluckyfilter.com.
Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of Plucky, have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children. Jon created Plucky because he needed a strong internet filter and happened to have the software skills to make it. Kristin is the Director of Communications and Jon's cheerleader. They've been on this adventure of using their skills for God's kingdom full-time for the past 9 years.
Scott Wurtz grew up in Wheaton, IL, and attended Wheaton College (BS, MA). Professionally, he has taught physics and computer science at the high school level and currently works as a software developer. Scott discovered Plucky during the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020. He has used it ever since.
Learn more at pluckyfilter.com.
Your free guide to technology that keeps you safe from porn:
https://www.purelifealliance.com/porn-fighting-technology.htmlTake the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story.
Growing In Marriage website: growinginmarriage.comGrowing In Marriage podcast: growinginmarriage.com/podcastConfident Husband Mastermind: growinginmarriage.com/chmCouples Bible Study: growinginmarriage.com/couplesInstagram: instagram.com/growinginmarriage
"We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriage Coaches, we have one big goal: guide couples to ignite deep, lasting connections to Jesus and one another—no matter where your marriage is at. Together, we will help you break the bad habits that have left you feeling like distant roommates. Let us help you find your vibe."
Connect with Rich and Deanna here:Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy.
The F.L.O.S.S. Method:F = Fear
L = Lie
O = Origin Story
S = Sadness
S = Surrender
What If I Don't Remember Much Of My Childhood? by Adam Young
Drew Boa is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and Coach in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Connect with Drew at drewboa.com
Andrew Loyd is an Ordained Pastor and Coach in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Connect with Andrew at restoredstorycoaching.com
Juan Mejia is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach in Atlanta, Georgia. Email Juan at [email protected].
Rocky Pisor is a Pastoral Counselor and Coach in Fresno, California. Connect with Rocky at reconnecthope.com
Free resource mentioned in this episode:Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop.
F = Fear
The F.L.O.S.S. Method:
L = Lie
O = Origin Story
S = Sadness
S = Surrender
Free resource mentioned in this episode:
HMA Preview Lesson at husbandmaterial.com/hma-previewTake the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body.
Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She woke up from a lifelong pattern of avoiding her emotions when her husband disclosed his sex addiction after 16 years of marriage. Tera and her husband have now been married for 29 years.
Tera specializes in helping women and couples create personal safety, emotional sobriety, and peace. Learn more about her coaching practice, support groups, and online classes at coachtera.com.
Interested in Tera's experiential retreat?Check out La Loba: The Woman Who Knows
Next retreat: October 18-20, 2024 in Smithfield, Utah
Mentioned in this episode:The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (paid link)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God.
Take the Sitting In The Dirt Course by Chris Bruno and Jeremy Williamson (highly recommended!)Join Sitting In The Dirt Cohort (for 5 weeks with Jeremy)
Jeremy Williamson is a storywork coach and counselor with ReStory. He is also the Director of Restorative Experiences at Restoration Project. As a former pastor and missionary with 20+ years of experience, Jeremy serves as a kind and passionate guide for men and women who long to know God and live in wholeness. Email Jeremy at [email protected].
If you loved this interview...
Use the discount code HUSBANDMATERIAL for $10 off!Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients.
How To Heal Your Inner ChildExperience Healing Through IFSExperience Healing Through The Immanuel ApproachExperience Healing Through PsychodramaHealing Through Artwork And StoryworkAttunement: The Key To Connection
Related episodes:
Join the waitlist for HMA: joinHMA.comApply for 1:1 coaching with me: drewboa.com/applicationApply for our next healing weekend: husbandmaterial.com/apply
Are you interested in doing experiential healing work?Take the Husband Material Journey...
Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!
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