Episodes
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Meditation is water not Pepsi
In the world of meditation, TM (Transcendental Meditation) is Coca Cola and Mindfulness is Pepsi. These two ubiquitous brands are everywhere meditation is taught. They both use famous personalities to sell their product and to surreptitiously emphasise that theirs is the ‘real thing’.>>> -
The Ego
Many times spiritual seekers put themselves inadvertently in conflict with themselves. The ego is an example of this. Many feel that the ego must be conquered or supressed or even completely disregarded or ignored. As though, for some reason, the ego was a mistake and we have to do all we can to ignore or overlook or disown it. The ego is not a mistake, it is not a hindrance, it is not a curse, the ego is our life’s curriculum of ‘doing’ for the expansion of our ‘being’. The ego is actually probably the most important aspect of us in this life and it is an absolutely awesome design. It tells the story of how we think about ourselves and our universe. Everything is mirrored in our ego. >>> -
Episodes manquant?
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The Body and the Mind
As spiritual seekers we are often quite hard on ourselves. In these next two classes we are going to talk about being kinder, specifically the body and the mind whilst in class 50 we will be discussing the ego. To be clear though, even though we will be talking about the body, mind and ego, these are actually just labels for different aspects of the soul. In reality everything is soul, these are just distinctive aspects of the soul we are already familiar with. >>> -
Don't just do it..
The iconic tag of Nike from the 90’s was “Just do it”. This advertising line did a few things, it told the public that the Nike corporation was interested in its customers being more driven, more ambitious to achieve not only their sporting goals but their life goals by doing more. >>> -
Suffering
Is suffering really necessary? If this is heaven as many say it is, how then can we be free of suffering? In Sunirmalya's opinion, the masters of the past might be famous because they suffered so much and offered freedom from suffering after death, but he contends that if heaven is here now, then we have to deal with suffering and our attachment to it.
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Resistance
It turns out that we do not so much have to search for change but let go of our resistance to it. You see, change is a constant. It is natural. There is a flow to our evolution. It is always there, the more we resist it, the more difficult our lives become. There is a natural flow and a natural pace to that change. Our impatience is another form of resistance, telling the universe it is too slow or too fast and it is not to be trusted. We feel we need to inflict our own timeframe, so we disconnect from loving the universe from the natural flow and try and force things in our way and schedule.
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Authentic Love
Kobi loaded up his gun, adjusted his glasses and helmet and jumped down from the tank. As he ran towards the shot up wall of the small disused school in front of him, he thought for a second of his boys, Kai – the eldest, would have been at school in Melbourne right now, it seemed another planet away.He stopped and gazed through his sights for the enemy and not for the first time, wondered. He wondered why? How? How had it come to this and why do we still fight like this? It felt surreal in that moment, for just then he saw the ‘enemy’ climbing a tree behind a building looking for ‘him’. Or anyone like him. He had no helmet, no glasses, his gun was more of a rifle, but what struck Kobi more than anything was that he was a child. He could be no more than Kai’s age but most likely was younger. He was skinny and malnourished and wearing a scarf over his head, but Kobi could still see his eyes and they immediately haunted him, scarred him. There was so much hate and so much soulless fear.
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Perfection
There is an idea of heaven, of perfection in another place and time, as some kind of Garden of Eden where everything is flawless and nothing ever goes wrong and there is no suffering.
But what about the idea that what we have here and now on earth is heavenly but out of ignorance we choose hell?
The Garden of Eden scenario is born out of the idea that we are visitors, temporary inhabitants of this strange land with no real express purpose other than to be drifting through to our real final static unchanging destination, heaven. That we are sort of victims of a creator’s wish for us to be readied, to be made perfect, for our real life in the thereafter. That this world is imperfect and full of suffering for some grand reason we don’t quite understand but we will totally comprehend when we are sitting in the clouds free from all misery whilst somehow being oblivious to the suffering of the poor wretched souls still here.
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Authentic Prosperity
Many people that meditate make all sorts of judgements about their practice of meditation and their levels of material prosperity or financial success.
Whilst it is true that meditation creates the mental and spiritual environment for a more balanced and whole person, this does not have any direct correlation to our world’s judgement of success.
In fact to be really ‘successful’ or authentically ‘prosperous’ has very little to do with our old paradigms which may be more about being rich or famous.
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Your mission statement
Douglas Adams, author of the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy", proffered the whimsical view that the answer was 42, and whilst way back in class 2 our view on the meaning of life was presented it seems poignant that we should revisit this important topic in this class 42 with respect to Mr Adams.
In class 2 the idea was introduced that rather than ask what the meaning of life is, we should just consider what moments in our lives have been meaningful so far. Once we spend a moment a two reflecting on this, we realise that every meaningful moment is a moment of love and that everything we do, every endeavour, every art, sport, every music, every thing in the end becomes an experience of love. The simple purport is that to be in the flow of love, giving or receiving love without conditions or expectations or obligations, is the highest thing we can do with our life. We realised that all suffering comes from our distance from the flow of love and all happiness from our immersion in it.
Dr Stephen Covey author of the spectacularly successful “The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People” in habit 1, 2 and 3 speaks of the importance of a mission statement. He clearly details the importance of being proactive in our lives. This is the idea of having the ability to respond (“response” -“ability”) to any situation in the way we choose, we create our lives, that we are not victims (see class 40). This mission statement is really the blueprint. For a company or club or organisation, a mission statement gives the vision and goals of the group in a just a paragraph or two. He suggests that all levels of the group be intimately involved in the writing of the mission statement so that they take ownership when it comes time to enact the statement. But more importantly he suggests that mission statements should be written about our own lives. For us to be clear about our target, to be completely present and responsible for our journey, for us to be aligned with our life’s meaning, a mission statement, a proactive statement of intent, is invaluable. >>> -
We all know the importance of physical exercise and diet for our physical fitness. We all know it is important to be mindful, to be aware of the thoughts we are thinking and to try and be more positive mentally. But real spiritual strength is something we generally do not understand. We see inspirational people who seem able to, no matter what the calamity, sail through with calmness and equanimity, even taking such events as lessons or blessings. They seem strong, serene in their certainty, powerful in their sureness.How do we become strong, what muscles need to be exercised for us to be spiritually tough?
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We are all victims
Our world is geared towards victims and most of us feel that is what we are. We are victims of the events of our life, we 'deal' with life, 'struggle' through its trials and tribulations, for 'life was not meant to be easy' - we have to work hard to get what we want in our 'dog eat dog' world.
We are the victims of our bodies. Have you ever noticed a baby when they soil their nappy in the beginning, they have no idea it was them that did it? Our body is too young, we poo in our nappy and then we smile or act as if it is not our fault - we are the victim. We just poo, we don't really know how or why it happened but we are sure someone will clean it up. As time goes on gradually we are able to show the baby that it is them that is making the mess and they are obliged to poo responsibly. But still we are victims of our bodies. Our bodies are decaying and wrinkling and sick, dying and sad. We need less fat here and more muscle there, our bodies are never pretty enough or strong enough, again we are the victim. Then we are old and pooing in a nappy again.
We are the victims of our circumstances. Our parents did not give us enough love or opportunity or money. Our school did not have good enough teachers or enough facilities or was too crowded or too backward.
And every politician, every government will tell us that it is not our fault, that we are victims of the last government or the peoples of another country, or the global economy and everything is about to be ok, now that they are in charge. We are victims of their lies, of their incapacity to fix all of our problems.
We are all victims every night on the news. We hear about all the victims, all of the people that died or who are sick or who are worse off than us. All the people that were bullied or murdered or stepped on or over. Where is the good news - the wonderful things that happen to 99.99% of the people 99.99% of the time? No, what we are told over and over again is we are victims, we have been victims or we are about to be victims.
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TREE of LOVE..
We each are unique. There is not one of us that is not treading a path different to the next. That is what is so perfect and so interesting about our journeys.
Having said that, our experience of love has some interesting similarities.
It might surprise you to realise, for example, that along the path to real unconditional divine love, for many of us there may also be fear and mistrust.
Whether we realise it or not we are all growing into a state of perfect and unconditional love for all things and every one. This is how we evolve and grow and perhaps the only thing in our lives that we really have no choice about. We have no choice because that is what we actually are. The deeper we dig, the more we find our real nature is that of an unconditional flow of love.
To come to this realisation might take many life times, many years but eventually we must all realise that there is an inevitability about our journey and that is that we are all growing into becoming unconditional love.
That is the nature of the universe, the nature of God, that is the nature of us because we are the creators of the universe, we are God and we are all one. -
Everything ends in love..
We have discussed in previous classes the concept that every idea, every action, every thought ends in love. More than just love - it is unconditional, divine love.
As an example, let us say that we are learning to play the piano. Initially our body has to learn to place our fingers correctly, our feet to comfortably push the pedals and so on. As we progress, it is our mind that has to learn to focus and concentrate so as to play the piano without distraction and to learn the most effectively and efficiently. Next, there will be aah moments of the heart where the piano is being played more intuitively and creatively with the heart. Finally, we realize that the highest experiences that we have in playing the piano are when they become effortless, where we are being powered by the universe or God and both we and the piano are instruments. This final stage comes about as a result of the flow of unconditional divine love.
You can reflect upon everything you do and realize that the same process is taking place. It might be as simple as walking the dog, or as seemingly convoluted as your career or goals at home.
For us to be more likely to be in the highest flow of love we must first understand that one of the most powerful components of this highest love is that it is unconditional.
This may sound trite but how many things do you do unconditionally right now? -
Our addictions are usually caused by us not being loved in the way we want to be loved. As you know, to have perfect love we must begin with trust and faith in the thing or person we are loving or being loved by.
Often when we are caught by addictions we have lost trust and faith in so many things or people that we rely on our addiction to show us the unconditional love we so desire.
What in our lives does not judge us, does not expect anything of us and is always there like a donut to love us and give us that wonderful, warm feeling of being loved. For the food addicted, the humble donut may just be the only entrance to unconditional love in their life. Often a food addiction comes at a time when we feel that we cannot trust or have faith in others and even more so, ourselves.
You will see the same pattern emerging with alcohol or drugs or cigarettes. These things do not judge us. We can lock ourselves up in what we think is our safe, little cocoon of our addiction and feel that we are being loved - but in actuality the opposite is unfolding.
Our addictions are self-compounding because they start to give us the feeling that the addiction is the ONLY thing we can trust. Therefore the only thing we can love. The more addicted, the more insulated we become from the authentic universal flow of love that is always loving us. As the addiction grows we feel we can't trust anyone, we can't trust the universe, we can't trust fate, we can't trust ourselves. And so the only thing we can love is the addiction. We lose all faith in the universe and ourselves. We give all of our power, all of our trust to our addiction.
Sometimes it is not until we hit rock bottom that we realise that this limited expression of love is actually killing us. We, as a being that must be in the full flow of love to be happy, feel stifled and isolated and depressed when faced with this limited view of ourselves. We realise that we are supposed to be so much more loving, but our addiction has us all tied up to one (or two or three) hollow habits that imprison us with the feeling that the only way we can feel love is through the addiction.
The answer is as simple as it is difficult.
Thank your addiction and then move on. Thank it for being there, for loving you when you had nothing else you could trust. Thank it for loving you no matter what. And then gently explain to yourself that it is time for you to love more and be loved more. That everyone will be happy, including your addiction when you open yourself to receive more love and offer more love without expectation or condition.
Start slowly. Go out into nature and feel the love that is all around you. It might be a sunset or a forest but just take the time to really immerse yourself in your meditations there. Realise that nature loves you and just by breathing you can breathe in that love. Believe it or not this is not going to be easy. It is as simple as it is difficult and you will need to practice over and over again almost always without any feeling of making any progress.
Then open some more. Realise that your friends and family are loving you. Begin to see that fate is loving you that nothing happens by accident and everything that happens is a blessing. Offer gratitude to open your heart more and more. Realise that even your enemies, even though they dont know it are loving you.
Go and do some volunteer work. Offer your love without condition by helping others or our little planet. Clean up our beaches or save a whale or work in a soup kitchen or help someone homeless. I know this sounds flippant. But this is the part of your recovery that will be the most powerful. To love more, we need to trust more and have more faith. That only comes from practice - it cannot come from sitting alone with your addiction. And every time you try will not be a success by your reckoning, but every time you try will be the biggest celebration for your soul.
You will see that there is only one lasting cure to every addiction and that is the flow of love. The more you recognise that the universe is a friendly place that you can trust and have faith, the more you will rejoice in your wonderful life. Trust yourself. Have faith in yourself. You are a magnificent and powerful being that is full of love. You will not be happy until you immerse yourself completely in that flow of love there is no simpler way. -
The displays of feminine energy are most evident in the mother.
Even in these times the mother is the best example of both conditional and unconditional love. In conditional love the mother loves the child if the child does as she commands. Such as becoming a doctor or a lawyer and not going out with that kid from down the road. In unconditional love it would not matter to the mother if her child killed everyone in the street she would still be there at the jail with the knife in the cake saying its not my johnnys fault, it was that Johnson kid that was the bad one.
Masculinity and femininity are as important as each other, although in our patriarchal society masculine energy has been valued more in the past. Now and into the future that is necessarily becoming balanced.
Real femininity has little to do with feminism, nor does it have much to do with the traditional wife and mother model of the 1950s. Real femininity just like real masculinity is more about the flow of love.
Feminine love is compassionate, nurturing and benevolent, but more than anything it is connected. Authentic feminine love walks in anothers shoes easily. It is coupled as one. Real feminine energy understands deeply the concerns of not only one another in the human family but in every soul, animal, plant and mineral. Its deep empathy vibrates through the hearts of all.
The mother energy is that which loves us no matter what we do. This is the highest, most divine love of all. A child needs this perfect love that the mother energy uniquely displays. We all need to know that we are children of the universe and that we are being loved no matter what. This is the most necessary of all forms of love and it is only the mother energy that innately shows this. All of our problems in the world stem from this energy not being received. We need to practise receiving and the first is from our mother earth. Whether you believe it or not the truth is there is a Mother Nature energy that is constantly loving us and caring for us. We only need to sit for a moment in nature and offer our gratitude to the earth to feel her feminine unconditional love. But more than this we need to feel the mother energy in the universe, the air, the moon, the stars all around us and inside us we are being loved. If we are lucky enough to have parents that have cared for us, then it will be evident there too.
With the reception of love everything starts with gratitude. Even with our parents, if we are able to offer our gratitude their divine feminine love will shine through. Their empathy, their connection with us is very spiritual and the cord it flows along is founded in the feminine energy of both parents.
The mother is present in every one of our actions, underlying every step with a connection to the universe that says to us that we are always being helped, we are never alone. Just as a child might tempestuously say to leave me alone, the mother waits patiently and unconditionally to help wherever she is allowed.
The highest feminine energy increases the flow of love in the universe with unconditional oneness and understanding. -
What is the masculine energy of the universe and why is it so important?
What is a warrior spirit?
Since we are all a mix of masculine and feminine energy, we can benefit from a clear understanding of the highest vision of masculine energy, whilst in the next class we will explore the feminine.
The displays of masculine energy are most raw in ancient, more primal societies, where the man was the keeper of boundaries, the hunter and provider of food, the physical strength behind manufacture and the imagination of the innovator and creator.
The masculine energy is like fire. When it is used properly it is creative, practical, benevolent and visionary. When misused it can burn and destroy in egoic anger and/or resentment.
To be a warrior does not mean that we are stupidly brave or recklessly courageous, it means that we act with complete confidence and faith in the dialog of our spirit, with the voice of our conscience. Reason takes second place to the masculine warrior who acts decisively and with clear purpose. One listens to ones heart, reasons with objectivity and intelligence, and then acts. Sometimes to others, this may seem illogical but to the warrior there is a duty to the authentic self first and reason second.
Bravery or courage is not within a warriors reckoning, it purely is what one must do. There is always a flow of love in every action of the warrior, where ultimately it is love that powers the action and connects the warrior with the infinite power of the universe. This way of acting becomes eventually effortless.
Many believe that real masculinity is fearless, but this is not only impossible but also unwise. Every so called negative quality as we have seen in earlier classes, is a catalyst for positive action, the negative impacts come when we do not act. If we do not feel fear than we might act recklessly, without weighing all options. Fear can paralyse, but for the warrior, fear heightens and focuses our awareness and physical being, allows one to contemplate all options and then act with decisiveness and clarity. When we fight our fears, working against them, they become stronger because we are creating more inactive fearful thoughts worrying about our fears.
What we resist, persists
The warrior works with fear using it as a springboard for action, rather than against it and is empowered and strengthened. Fear itself is quickly transformed into clear, decisive action. The warrior knows that in anxiety and hesitation is paralysis and if fear is maintained in that condition it can quickly eat away the insides of the warrior. The warrior realises that the fear energy must be channelled into calm, positive action for it to realise its highest purpose.
Because men are physically stronger than women and smarter then most other animals, there is a physical dominance that men have that has nothing to do with masculinity. This is a dimension of the ego that those without masculinity get confused about. They see the actions of the masculine and believe them to be about egoic or physical dominance, but in reality, masculine energy is never about dictating to others or towering above. It is about the strength and power of the flow love, about the example we set, how we empower and inspire each other, how we rise above division and how we give each other a hand up.
Men and women need this masculine energy as much as they need the feminine energy. Without one or the other we are incomplete.
The New Age man has sometimes confused the warrior with war mongerers. The real warrior is a man of peace, a man that realises that his highest bravery comes from being at peace with himself and understands that this translates to peace in the world. That war is of fear and peace, love.
Violence or other physical domination is cowardice not strength, and the antitheses of masculinity. It is cowardice because it egoically quashes free will and encourages paralysis by fear, because the coward acts with fear and not love.
The whole person is a combination of feminine and masculine, the height of connection, creativity and free will. War is fears lowest ebb, neither masculine nor feminine it is a vortex of paralysing fear and cowardice that halts creativity and free will and lashes out in terror against the conscience of masculinity. It has only one lasting solution, its opposite pole, the flow of love. -
The difference between meditation and hypnosis is very stark.
They both use very similar entry techniques, to relax and calm the mind and become concentrated and peaceful. They are both very powerful self development tools, but that is where the similarity ends.
In my experience of hypnosis the focus is on the subconscious, and in understanding and reprogramming past negative learned behaviours. We enter into very deep concentrative states where we are able to replace bad habits and negative thought patterns from the past with positive, inspiring thought models for the future. Often just becoming aware of a negative thought habit is enough to dismantle it.
Hypnosis makes it apparent again that lots of what we have programmed into our subconscious can be extremely detrimental. It makes us recognise that just because we repeat a thought doesn't make it true, but that is exactly what our subconscious assumes.
I have seen examples where people have recognised compulsive eating habits as a means of hiding oneself or subconsciously taking oneself out of the dating game so as to be free from being hurt in relationships. Or of smoking or drug addictions as a means of punishing oneself over some form of guilt or self-hate. There are so many scenarios where unless we explore our subconscious we keep burying these extremely negative behaviours.
Hypnosis is an extremely powerful tool for dealing with the past, and by dealing positively with the past it can help create very positive futures.
Affirmations can be a form of self-hypnosis where a word or a phrase is repeated over and over as a means of reprogramming our subconscious. They are the most powerful when one is focussed and concentrated but are effective even amidst the hustle and bustle of worries and anxieties.
A simple affirmation, such as calm down, calm down can be very effective. More powerfully with silence and full concentration, I love and forgive myself might be an affirmation that very simply changes our world.
In meditation the focus is on the heart and the soul and the present moment. We leave the past and future and put all of our attention on now. In the 'now' in meditation we feel expanded and connected with one another and every thing, in calm peace. It is the flow of love, the giving and receiving of love that lies at the heart of meditation.
Meditation simply accepts the past and in that way releases itself from its talons. Whatever has happened, has happened. They are only thoughts and they do not control us. They are simply released if they are destructive and celebrated if positive. It does not usually attempt to reprogram past thought patterns or behaviours rather through the infusion of love in the meditator, it is felt that new, higher thought patterns naturally develop and old habits are released or transformed.
In my view, meditation is the simplest and most effective method of spiritual development. Unlike prayer where we lay out what we believe we need and do all the talking, meditation hands over the process to our heart and soul, or in some cases to God, and says you do the talking and I will listen.
Sometimes in hypnosis it is hard to be clear on what our primary focus should be, on what we need most and so we may be directing ourselves to issues that are not important for this moment. In meditation we realise that by listening and having faith in ourselves, we can be directed and guided the most effectively.
Because hypnosis is grounded in the past it is only able to clear obstructions to our future. Meditation, however, being in the now, the only place we are actually transformed, can work to help us actually evolve now. In this way we simply release our destructive past and elevate the thought patterns, the creators of our future. -
Many of us are under the misapprehension that happiness is defined by a constancy of laughter, an absence of conflict and a lack of pain.
But it is actually a much different beast, or should I say dove.
Laughter without connectedness is just empty comedy, it does not last. Harmony without understanding and love is just a low form of tolerance. And no pain with no love is just a vacant existence. 'It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' (Tennyson)
The real definition of happiness from a spiritual perspective is very simply about connectedness. The more connected we are with each other, nature and God the happier we will be. This happiness is about lasting fulfilment. It is not imprisoned by one or two emotions. At its highest, real and full happiness encapsulates them all.
It is a little like the perfection of nature itself. It changes. Often. Some days there are cyclones, some there are tornados, often it is sunny and calm, at other times it is rainy. Every day, though, has its perfection. Every moment is faultless.
Every emotion, every feeling is an expression of love the more love, the higher it will be and the more connected it will make us. As we have talked about before, pain is like this. Even anger at its highest can make us happy. Most emotions that we call negative, however, are usually about disconnecting us from each other, it is only at their absolute positive pole that they become obviously loving.
I have a friend who felt the most love in her life at the funeral of her son. She was extremely sad and in pain, but there were moments were she felt immense love and connectedness. It was the saddest and happiest and most connected time of her life.
Many women speak of childbirth as the most significant moment of their lives. A time of the greatest pain, but also, perhaps the most love, the most connectedness, the most happiness.
For most sports people, the ultimate experience often comes at the apex of the most pain. The runner, the gymnast, the ballet dancer tell of pushing through pain to effortlessness and blissfulness. Or to be even more mainstream, if you have ever done a fun-run you will know the pain and the bliss. Many artists feel they have to have pain for them to be creative. That their best works often comes at the time of most pain.
Many people that have major tragedies occur in their lives, such as an accident or other near-death experience, recall these events as turning points, often as epiphanies of great connectedness or love.
Others have got very angry about an inequality or injustice and that anger has fuelled a flow of love and connectedness that became immediately immensely powerful. This oneness is born in anger but immediately is transformed via determination into the flow of love that creates enormous happiness.
Some people argue that Christ was not happy being crucified, but in that great pain, I would contend, came his moments of highest connectedness and greatest happiness.
To be really happy does not mean there are not events that from an outsiders point of view look painful. The happy person sees all of them as expressions of love and is therefore happy.
The point is that to be truly happy we need to fill every moment, every emotion with the highest love, the highest connectedness.
This is actually the nature of God if you think about it. Being omnipotent means you are involved in every thing, every experience, the difference is God is always connected and knows it, and is therefore ultimately blissful, but also full of pain.
Our paths are all completed in that blissful connectedness. No matter which journey we take to get there. In the end, it is the one thing that is sure.
In the beginning, the middle and the end, we are one.
The highest happiness is simply being in the highest flow of love. -
We have become the kings and queens of prejudgement. There is so much information for us to take in it is almost a prerequisite for sanity that we develop methods of screening out the unimportant. The only thing is that the media, advertising the sounds and sights of the illusion are shouting all the time at us in CAPITALS TELLING US THAT WHAT THEY ARE SAYING IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Sadly, we believe them and we start to filter out the wrong things. We start to believe it is really an imperative to be rich and famous and have power over others. We really do think that the terrorists are everywhere, that to be in fear is a normal state and that we need a facelift or botox to retain our worth.
Even more than this, we become the experts of categorising so as not to experience a thing fully. If something does not have a name it does not exist. We look at things and measure and analyse their surfaces and mistake that for their reality. 'O he is gay, or she is too young, or too old, or too fat. He is a druggie, an alcoholic, hes divorced or bankrupt' do you see what I mean?
These dimensions of prejudgment are so insidious that we begin to be bored with everything because we have prejudged everything. We have seen it all. The reality is that we have actually experienced very little.
Instead of scanning over the top of everything and labeling and prejudging, if we stopped at any single thing and experienced it fully in the infinite power and presence of now, we would find that there are universes within each thing we are not even glimpsing.
Jamie was bored and uninspired. There was nothing to do. His playstation needed an upgrade, the internet was dull and his girlfriend was away with her parents. He thought about his future. What he might do. A surfer? A professional skater? Nah he thought, I couldnt do that I am not good enough. He turned on the TV and sat and stared, flicking through hundreds of channels and falling deeper into his chair. He was overweight, lacking in confidence and too young for most things but already too old to change.
His parents were out and he had wondered for some time what their preoccupation with alcohol was about. So he decided to try some. A bottle of whisky had been opened and was sort of water colored so he poured a little into a glass and refilled it carefully with water. It was so strong on his lips and actually so distasteful that he immediately wanted to spit it out. But he ploughed on, assuring himself that it must be important because all the adults were drinking it all the time.
The effect was immediate, he felt himself relax. As though there was a distance between the nothingness he had just been getting bored with and the excitement and maturity of being more adult.
Believe it or not his addiction had begun. He was no more than 11, but he very quickly associated alcohol and drugs with the distance he needed from pain and boredom and the things he did not understand. The example of most adults was to reinforce this in Jamies mind. He saw it over and over again that when people were troubled or perhaps did not understand why something had happened, drugs where there to distance them from the pain.
And he was always bored. He had labels for everything and everyone, mostly they came from others but he enjoyed them all. He enjoyed the safety they gave him. He never had to listen or to think because all the labels meant he could dismiss a thing before it tried to change him. Whenever he met someone new, inside his head he would scan for a label, a prejudgement and then dismiss them. Shes a red-neck, hes a hippie, theyre gay, a muslim, never done drugs or whatever it might be. The reality was while they were able to be labelled he was able to dismiss. And not listen, not change, not grow. Everyone was in a minority group and everyone and everything was at a distance and therefore boring.
This approach of Jamies is quite universal. We are taught to stay on the surface of our lives, to stay with the ego and not allow the deeper introspection that might allow us to realise our other deeper dimensions. This is what the world of the ego demands. For it the past and future are incredibly important but the now is not, in the now it is lost. The ego is always striving to be one cm higher than the next person and labels ensure this.
The ego will walk in a room and see tables and chairs that have a past and future, dead matter with a function and perhaps fashion. In a few moments it will have prejudged in some manner with labels and names and be quickly bored.
But the heart will come and feel energy, it will see the color and energy of things, see the life within the flowers on the table, or even the table and chairs themselves. It might feel a depth in any single thing perhaps even a single point of paint on one of the legs of the chairs. The heart will feel vibrating energy, love all around and even the smallest thing will open multi-dimensional universes of perception and reality. The heart does not know how to label and name, to prejudge or analyse intellectually, it knows only how to feel. How to feel eternity and infinity in a moment.
By the time Jamie was 20, he had tried every drug known to man, he had robbed and stealed and long ago been kicked out of his house. He lived now on the streets of an unnamed city with pain coursing through every cell of his being more and more. His overwhelming desire was for more distance. More distance from his pain. Distance from the things he did not understand. From the people he hated. From those that he ripped off. Distance was his mantra. Distance from his heart. Because it was his heart, his conscience, that the drugs were in charge of silencing.
Then one night his addictions became too much. His blaming and prejudging every one and everything else took him to the side of a road with a syringe full of something that he knew was way too much, but it was all he knew. He hated himself. He hated that he couldnt get this figured out. That he couldnt be like everyone else. The world was screwed up and this was the only way to get distance, to get numb. The walls were closing in on his life. There was no other way he knew except distance. He no longer knew how to love and worse, he had no idea how to receive it. His mum and dad and sisters and brother had only last week came and offered to give him whatever he needed, had hugged him and told him they loved him, but he had returned to the only comfort he understood. He certainly had no idea how to receive their love. And as the syringe squeezed down and into the last of his veins, he felt the ultimate pain of regret. Of not seeing. Of not looking any deeper than the surface. Of not knowing the 'universe in a grain of sand' or the vastness of 'eternity in an hour'. He looked at himself there on the gutter with vomit oozing gently from his pain wrecked body and felt the lament of someone who had not seen.
And suddenly he did.
He saw the love that had surrounded him, the people that had cared, the leaves and the flowers that had tried to radiate energy and meaning to him, the raindrops, O those raindrops that splashed on his face. And the pain now was so full and all encompassing, the pain of regret. He looked up and there was finally a friend. No judgement, no labels just a friend with unconditional love. And in the pain he could finally see that it would be resolved. He would get another chance. It would be even more painful, but he would get another chance. He knew that he had to make it through and it would only come with this deeper seeing that he felt now. That even the pain was an exhortation for him to see. And finally he welcomed it, He felt the pain a wonderful blessing. For the pain meant he was still being given the chance to grow. O blessed pain he thought, O blessed pain, thank you.
His friend continued to smile. Nothing said.
And he realised something more. That all his life he had craved distance when actually all he wanted to feel now was closeness. He realised that the labels and the prejudging kept him stuck in the ego, stuck in the illusion of the surface. He realised that just looking at something with his heart, just like he was doing now, he could see things with much more depth and authenticity. He realised all his labels did was try and identify the only part of a thing that was actually not real, that the real reality was far deeper and beyond the names and labels.
He looked around and realised that science and our world had millions of different names for all these things but in reality there was only one name that made sense and that was love. All this was love. It was love in a trillion bazillion different guises but it was all love. Every label, every criticism had shut the door on another way love could shine through. His friend smiled broadly and they walked off.
He had all the time in the world. - Montre plus
