Episodes
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Stop doomscrolling, don't play into others goading you, set boundaries, focus on self-care, and have a plan.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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What's the reason behind wanting to be in control?
Does it make us feel safe, powerful, or protective?
In this episode, we'll talk through the reasons behind what control/manipulation really means and ways to change.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Episodes manquant?
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In this episode, we'll talk through some practical ways to deal with anxiety and stress:
Sleep Meditation Yoga Exercise Be creative (write, draw, sculpt, sing) Music Do something (volunteer and help others) Be thankful for what you do haveSupport the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's episode, we'll reflect on the final step:
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
When we reflect on how we're behaving now, are we better at choosing who we want to develop relationships with? Are we more aware and have stopped trying to control others? Are we focusing more on self-care and are using the skills we learned to help our inner child? Have we stopped looking for acceptance from others and truly love ourselves for who we are?
Reflections:Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Trust can be hard for those of us who grew up in a dysfunctional family.
We might be stuck in the past and find it hard to trust in the present.
However, we might also might struggle with trusting too quickly (and with people who are not healthy for us).
What we can focus on is:
Understanidng our memories from the past and processing them. Let go of trying to control the past by reproducing similar situations in the present. Learn how to trust ourselves.Interested in reading a retelling of the Cinderella fairy tale through the eye of Cinderella having grown up in a dysfunctional family? Pick up the free book: Lost: Cinderella's secret Witch Diaries (book 1).
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this episode, we'll go through and discuss Step 11:
"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out."
But we look at it from a different perspective:
Ask yourself: Why am I here on this Earth? What good can I do to help others? How can I be of service?When we go through the 12 Steps, we have an opportunity to grow beyond our past trauma.
Once you free yourself from the past, what will you do next?
Service leadership is key to be of help to the world.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Tips on dealing with the day to day and making sure that you're grounded.
Trying to chase being "amazing" everyday only sets you up to fail.
Using tools to help you each day and setting a (loose) schedule can help keep you on a path of moderation.
As kids we may have grown up in chaos and despair, but as adults, we have the power to change how we want to live.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's episode, we discuss Step 10 of the 12 Steps of Adult Children of Alcholics.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Resource:
The 12 Steps for Adult Children book
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Resentment, denial, and the inability to deal with conflict can be a toxic combination.
Learn how to identify the build up of resentment and how to stop holding back your feelings.
You are not alone.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's podcast, we talk through Step Nine of the 12 Steps.
Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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After more than two and a half years of the podcast, I'm struggling with burnout.
I explain where I'm at in my life, the challenges I'm working through, and the future of the podcast.
Read more:
Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Thinking in extremes can trap us in a simplistic worldview and also give us a false sense of security. It's easy to blame our parents for the problems with have, but that's not the full story.
Each person is complex.
But it's much easier to point a finger at someone and say: "They hurt me. It's their fault."
In this week's episode, I share my own story about coming to terms with my father's abandoning my mother, mom, and I as well as linking the need for simplistic answers to seeing the world in a range of complexity.
When we are honest with ourselves and with others, we can better see our boundaries and how to be accountable for our actions.
Athough it might be easier to cast our parents as the villain in our story, it's important to remember that people aren't bad, but they make bad choices.
And when we see our own selves through that same lense, we're able to separate the bad decisions we make and allow ourselves the potential to grow and heal.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's episode, we discuss Step 8:
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."
Step 8 is not easy and might seem impossible. One way to begin working on this step is to set time limits so that you don't feel overwhelmed.
Begin with a 10-15 minute block of time and write down who you have harmed and what you did to them.
When you finish, stop working on this step and focus on something else. If you allow yourself to get pulled into the depths of this step too quickly, it's easy to berate yourself for all the harm you have caused people.
Take small steps.
From the 12 Steps for Adult Children book:
"Our fear of abandonment sometimes destroyed our relationships, because we did not allow others to be themselves. We created dependency and tried to control their behavior in an effort to maintain the relationship as we wanted it to be."
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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What does "working the program" mean?
Each of us come to a fork in the road and we have a choice to make:
Do we want to continue living a life where we're unhappy or take a chance to learn how we can grow and heal?
In this episode, we'll talk about the various paths we can take and the importance of building self-worth, learning how to heal, grow, and embrace change.
We can either repeat the unhealthy patterns that we grow up with or embark on a journey of self-discovery that will lead to new possibilities that we never knew were available to us.
The choice is ours.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's episode, we're going to discuss Step 7:
Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.For Step Seven, humility is essential. We will also need to reflect on our unhealthy behaviors.
This might mean that we have to come to terms with being immature. It's highly possible that our inner child is emotionally immature because we never learned how to handle problems or a crisis in a healthy way. We only saw unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms that played out in our family.
Good quote from the 12 Steps for Adult Children book:
"Achieving sainthood is not part of this Program. We simply do the best we can, understanding and accepting our humanness without catering to it. Our intentions may be good, but they do not protect us from occasional lapses."
We might also struggle with the removal of our shortcomings because it might feel uncomfortable for us. When we're used to acting a certain way, we might need time to grieve the change and losting a part of ourselves (even though that loss might be shortcomings and acting out with unhealthy behaviors).
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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With so much negativity in the world today, let's work together and learn how we can protect ourselves from social media and the 24-hour news cycle.
Tools we can use to help ourselves:
Create a tech-free bedroom Practice a digital cleanse Perform positive actions to help us get away from all the negativitySupport the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Why do we limit and hold ourselves back?
In order to embrace joy, ask:
What makes you truly happy? Music, dancing, gardening, exercising? What activities can you practice to help you feel joy each day?What can we do to quiet the negative voices and to focus on knowing that we are worthy of joy, happiness, and love?
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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In this week's episode, we'll review step six:
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
If you don't believe in God, it's still worth working this step. I suggest that you read the step as:
Were entirely ready to have all of your defects of character removed.
Or to boil it down even more:
Were ready to grow and change.
Being prepared to have your "defects of character" removed, means that you're ready to be free of your past and to grow.
If you read this step and think that you're "stupid" or "lazy" or "dumb," I ask you to embrace your inner child and to reframe those thoughts. We all make mistakes and do things that are "stupid, lazy, or dumb."
That doesn't make us those things.
So, let's go on this journey together and see what we can learn.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free family to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks) and get the members only extra monthly podcast episode. Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Step 5 can be a difficult step to review and process.
If you're new to the 12 Steps or need a refresher, here is Step 5:
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Working through the step consists of three parts: We reach out to God (or creation, a Higher Power, or the universe), self-reflect, and to someone we trust.
We're looking to to share, in a healthy and trustful manner, the darkest parts of ourselves.
Not to be judge, but we do so in order to learn how to learn new skills and to grow to let go of the unhealthy coping mechanisms and dysfunctional behaviors that have held us back.
Working through this step can take time.
Be easy on yourself.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free Patreon to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks). Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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Adrenaline and always being "on" are common behaviors for those who grew up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family. But we need time to rest, not work, and to unwind.
That's hard to do in modern life, but also for those of us Type A personalities.
Exercises:
Turn off all notifications on our phones, disconnect, listen to the world around us. Watch and just listen. Allow ourselves time to just be. We don't need to work all the time.The challenge is: Asking for help so we can make time for ourselves. If we have everything on our shoulders, how will we have time to rest and heal?
Running on empty can't last forever.
Support the Podcast:
Join the Let Go and Be Free Patreon to support the show (for a coffee a month, you can keep the podcast going and get extra perks). Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Like or leave a positive review wherever you listen to the podcast.More Information:
Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.
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