Episodes
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Ever find yourself feeling shame around your kink? You're not alone. In this episode, we're diving into what kinks and fetishes really are and why the shame you’re feeling likely isn’t coming from where you think it is. You'll get a straightforward 3-step formula to help you stop shaming yourself for what turns you on, plus some insights into where to find the right kind of support when you're ready to leave the shame behind. Get ready to redefine the way you think about desire—judgment-free.
IN THIS EPISODEWhat are kinks and fetishes?The true reason you feel shame (hint: it's not what you think!).The 3-step formula to stop shaming yourself for your kink.Where to get support to deal with kink shame.LET'S CONNECT
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Sometimes, ending a relationship is the healthiest choice, but it doesn’t make it any easier. In this episode, we’re unpacking the signs that it’s time to let go, how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster, and ways to handle a breakup with as much respect—and as little mess—as possible. Whether you’re noticing red flags or just feeling stuck, we’ll walk through what it takes to break up in a way that leaves both people with their dignity intact. If you’re questioning your relationship, this one’s for you.
IN THIS EPISODEThe two main signs you're headed for a breakup with your partner The top 4 reasons couples stay together long after the relationship is overHow to minimise the financial and motional impact of a breakupWhen to know it’s time to breakupThe number one red flag you’re marrying the wrong personHow to breakup in a healthy way
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Episodes manquant?
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You meet someone new, there’s a spark, you’re vibing—and then it hits. What you thought was “a date” is, to them, just “hanging out.” In the world of ethical non-monogamy, even the words we use can get messy fast. Between trying to figure out if it’s a date or just casual, dealing with the twists of hookup culture, and clashing with different dating norms around the world, things can get confusing. Today, we’re diving into what all these labels really mean, why they matter, and how to make sure everyone’s on the same page before things get complicated.
IN THIS EPISODEDate VS Dating: What's the difference?Different dating cultures worldwide - and the confusion they generate.Hookup culture and its impact on dating.Making your intentions clear when asking someone on a date - and avoid being friend-zoned. How to communicate what you want in a relationship before you ask the person out.LET'S CONNECT
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Casual sex gets hyped up as fun, liberating, and carefree, but is it really that simple? In this episode, we explore why many women find themselves engaging in casual sex, even when they aren’t fully on board. We’ll also take a look at the emotional, mental, and physical costs that can come with it—things that often get overlooked.
We’re breaking down the differences between casual hookups and friends with benefits, and why some FWB arrangements can work better than you’d expect. If you’ve ever wondered whether casual sex is really worth it, this episode dives into the details you won’t want to miss.
IN THIS EPISODEDesire shares her experiences with casual sex: what she thought would happen VS what really happened.Why do women engage in casual sex (even when they don't really want to)?The high mental, emotional, and physical costs of casual sex for women.Friends with benefits VS regular hookups: what's the difference?Positive friends with benefits stories: why they work.
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Get ready to dive into the dating scene like never before! This episode spills the secrets on what really makes you stand out to women. We’ll chat about showcasing your unique qualities, understanding what women want, and shifting your mindset to boost your confidence. Whether you're after a casual fling or something more serious, these tips will help you catch her eye and score more dates. Tune in and learn how to make a lasting impression!
IN THIS EPISODEThe number one question you need to answer before you ask a woman out.3 reasons why women play hard to get (hint: we pay a higher price for casual sex).The real reason women engage in casual sex when they don't enjoy it (this is more common than you think!).What women look for in a sexual partner.The fast-track to getting a kinky play partner (it's NOT what you think!).It's not about you, it's about them: The mindset shift that'll help you get more dates.How to organise a great first date that impresses your partner and sets you up for success.What men who get a lot of dates do that everyone else doesn't - and how you can stand out too.LET'S CONNECT
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If you’re into glamorous kink socials, then Dominium Vita might just be your vibe. Picture a luxurious venue setting the mood for an elegant and sensual evening. But is it all it’s cracked up to be? Who’s actually attending these events, and what kind of vibe can you expect? Is there a dress code, or can you show up in your favorite leather jacket? We’re breaking down everything you need to know: membership, ticket prices, and whether this fancy night out is really worth it.
IN THIS EPISODEWhat is Dominium Vita? The venue - luxury settings for sensual evenings.Who attends Dominium Vita socials?Is there a dress code?The bar: how long does it take to get a drink?Do you need a membership to attend Dominium Vita events?Let's talk pricing: how much are the tickets?Dominium Vita social: who is it for?The final verdict: is it worth going to the Dominium Vita social?
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Ever heard of veto power? It’s that move where you say “nope, not happening” to something your partner wants to do or someone they want to see. But should you actually be using it? We’ll break down why vetoing might not be the best idea for your relationship and give you better options to handle those uncomfortable situations. From finding ways to accept your partner’s choices to talking things out without starting a fight, we’ve got practical tips to help you avoid a power struggle. Plus, we’ll dive into the healthy alternatives when compromise feels impossible.
IN THIS EPISODEWhat is veto power? Why do partners exercise the power of veto?Should you ever veto your partner's choices/desires? Here's why it's not always the best idea.3 options to use instead of exercising veto power.What does accepting your partner's choice really mean.How to tell your partner you don't want them to see someone or do something you're not comfortable with - without causing a fight.How to brainstorm alternative solutions to vetos and reach an outcome both partners are happy with. The healthy and ethical alternative to veto if you can't find a solution both partners are happy with.
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So, you’ve finally got that first Dom and Sub date lined up—exciting, right? But before you dive in, there are some key dos and don’ts you’ve got to know to make sure things go smoothly. We’re talking about how to ask a sub out the right way, when to bring up your kinks without scaring them off, and the difference between taking the lead and coming on too strong. Let's dive in!
IN THIS EPISODEThe right way to ask a sub out (get this wrong and you risk ending up on a vanilla date!).Taking the lead VS domming: what's the difference?What should you talk about on a dom and a sub date?When it's the right time to introduce the kink conversation (spoiler: don't open with this!).The best question to start the kink conversation with.What to ask your date to find out if your kinks are compatible - and most importantly, if they want to explore them with you.Should you play on the first date?The number one thing to avoid on a first dom and sub date.
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Thinking about going to your first sex party but not sure what to expect? We’re diving into everything you need to know before you step into that world. From choosing the right type of party and figuring out what to wear, to understanding the vibe of the crowd (spoiler: it’s not all models and six-packs). It’s all here, so you can walk in feeling confident and ready for a night to remember.
IN THIS EPISODEThe different types of sex and kinky parties: which one is right for you?What do you wear at a sexy party?What kind of crowd can you expect to find at sex parties? (Hint: not everyone has a six pack).How to connect with other attendees before the party (especially if you're nervous about going alone).Going with your partner? The number one thing to discuss before heading to the party to avoid jealousy and fights.All you need to know about consent.Should you bring your own toys to the party?Is voyeurism allowed at parties?Alcohol and drugs policies at sex parties - what you need to know.Should you get tested for STDs before attending a sex party?
3 VALUE BOMBSNot sure what to wear? Check out the dress code and inspiration boards shared by the organisers, so you can pick an outfit that'll make you stand out while feeling comfortable in your own skin.Going with a partner? Make sure to chat about your desires, boundaries, and what you both expect, so you can enjoy a night of naughty fun without any drama.Always ask before touching or initiating play with someone. If you break consent, you'll be permanently banned.
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In this episode, we explore how to smoothly transition from social events to romantic connections. How do you find events that are filled with people looking for the same thing you are? What’s the secret to picking up on body language cues that scream “I’m interested!”? Is there a right way to ask for contact details without being awkward?
If you’re curious about how to turn a casual chat into a romantic connection, this episode is for you. Let’s dive into the art of making that transition seamlessly and see how to ask for a date like a pro. Tune in to learn the ins and outs of sparking a romantic connection!
IN THIS EPISODEHow to pick the perfect events to meet potential partners who are looking for the same dynamic as you.Setting the right intention for the night - do this wrong and you may repel potential partners!The right questions to ask to discover if the person you're interested in is open to dating - and what their relationship style is. Should you ask for someone's contact details? The body language cues that tell you your potential partner is just as keen as you to connect further.When is it the right time to ask for someone's contact details?How to ask for a date the right way.
3 VALUE BOMBSGo out to have a good time and meet some cool people. We all hope to find the right partner at these events, but coming on too strong can make people put their guard up and turn them off from getting to know you.Shifting from socializing to dating is more of an art than a science. It's not about having the perfect lines or timing your number request just right. It's about showing real interest in the person you're talking to and building an authentic connection.Be upfront about your intentions when you ask someone out. You might see it as a date, but they could see it as just a friendly meetup.LET'S CONNECT
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In this episode, we’re diving into the world of solo polyamory. Curious about what solo poly actually means and how it differs from being single? We’re breaking it down and sharing what it takes to become solo poly.
Desire shares her experience with solo polyamory and whether it’s everything it’s cracked up to be. We'll chat about why people choose this path and how to handle the loneliness that can sometimes creep in.
Thinking solo poly might be for you? Tune in to learn the number one sign it’s not, and what you can do if you find yourself in that boat. Don't miss out on this deep dive into the nuances of solo polyamory!
IN THIS EPISODEWhat is solo poly?How do you become solo poly?Solo poly VS single poly: what's the difference?Desire's experience with solo poly: is it all it's cracked up to be?Why people choose to practice solo poly?The loneliness of solo poly - and how to deal with it.Are solo poly people treated fairly by their partners' metamours?Being jealous of your partner VS being jealous of a nesting dynamic: what's the difference?The number one sign solo poly is not for you - and what to do about it.
3 VALUE BOMBSSolo poly individuals prioritize themselves as their main partner and enjoy dating multiple people without the intention of settling down. Being single poly means identifying as polyamorous, even if you're not currently in any romantic relationships.Going solo poly gives you a ton of freedom, but it can get lonely. Once the thrill wears off, you might miss having someone to cuddle with every night or share holidays like Christmas.Solo poly can happen by choice or by chance. You may genuinely not want to ever settle down with anyone or you may simply not have found the right partner to share your life with yet.LET'S CONNECT
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In this episode, we're diving into the Tribe experiment, exploring why it’s way more than just a sex party—it's a full-on community. Wondering what Tribe is all about and how to get in on their exclusive socials and parties? We've got the lowdown on the crowd, the venues, and, of course, the dress code.
Thinking about joining Tribe? We’ll discuss who it’s for, and you’ll hear Purity’s take on why she’s steering clear, while Desire explains why Tribe is her top pick for sex communities in London right now.
Tune in to get the final verdict on whether Tribe is worth joining. You won't want to miss this one!
IN THIS EPISODEWhat is Tribe?How do you get access to Tribe socials and parties?What's the crowd like?Where are the socials and parties hosted?What do you wear at the Tribe socials and parties?Themed parties: how to rock the dress code without breaking the bank.Food and drinks: what to expect at the socials and parties?Fun games to spice up the night.What happens at the Tribe parties?Who should join Tribe?Purity's experience: why you won't be seeing her at Tribe anytime soon.Desire's experience: why Tribe is currently her fave sex community in London.The final verdict: is Tribe worth joining?
3 VALUE BOMBSThe Tribe community is attractive, friendly, and mischievous. If you're easily offended, you won't vibe well with this crowd. Tribe parties have cool themes, like Rockstars & Groupies and Welcome To The Jungle. Make an effort to follow the dress code. It makes the night more fun for everyone!Guests are strongly encouraged to do a STD test before attending a party. As soon as you arrive, you'll get a wristband. Its colour indicates how recent your last negative test was. It gives everyone peace of mind and encourages shame-free discussions about sexual health.LET'S CONNECT
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In this episode, we’re diving into the world of doms and how to tell the real ones from the fakes. Desire shares her wild experiences and why it’s super important for submissives to find the right match, even if someone seems super attractive at first.
We’ll talk about what makes a dom legit and explore the little differences in how they start the kink conversation. Ever wondered why consent is such a big deal in BDSM, or how to spot when it’s being respected? We’ve got some eye-opening insights.
Curious about what real doms do when planning a scene or providing aftercare? Or how to handle things when they don’t go as planned? Tune in to learn how to find a genuine dom and make sure your experiences are awesome. This episode is packed with tips to help you navigate the kink world with confidence.
IN THIS EPISODEDesire's experience with fake doms.What is a fake dom?Why submissive should avoid fake doms - even when they really fancy themSign #1: Fake doms tries to dominate you from your first interaction.Fake doms VS real doms: how to start the kink conversation.Sign #2: Assuming submissive = consent.Fake doms VS real doms: how to plan BDSM scenes.Sign #3: Fake doms are only interested in his pleasure, not the sub's pleasure.Sign #4: Fake doms don't provide aftercare.Sign #5: Fake doms get angry when the sub disappoints or doesn't want to obey unconditionally.Fake doms VS real doms: How they react when a sub stops the play.3 VALUE BOMBS
Don't assume submissives are down to play with anyone. A sub gets to choose her dom and what she submits to. Always have a conversation about desires and boundaries before play.Being a real dom is about having control. If a dom loses it when a sub doesn’t want to do something or calls it quits, they’re not truly dominant.The difference between a fake and an inexperienced dom? An inexperienced dom is eager to learn and please their subs. A fake dom couldn’t care less about their subs and just wants to get what they want.LET'S CONNECT
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In this episode, we’re tackling a big one: dealing with jealousy in polyamorous relationships. Ever thought you knew what jealousy is? Think again! We’ll break down why we feel it and why it's not always what it seems.
Wondering if all ENM folks feel that warm, fuzzy compersion? Spoiler: not always. And yes, poly people experience jealousy too. The usual monogamous tricks for handling jealousy? They don’t cut it here. We’ll show you what actually works.
Learn the healthy way to manage jealousy without putting the brakes on your partner’s freedom. Should you tell your partner when you’re feeling those jealous pangs? We’ll guide you through that tricky conversation and what to do if your partner brushes off your feelings.
Tune in for real talk and solid advice on keeping jealousy from messing with your poly vibes.
IN THIS EPISODEJealousy: what it is (hint: it's not what you think!) and why we feel it.What is compersion - and do all ENM people feel it?Do poly people experience jealousy?Why the traditional, monogamous way of handling jealousy doesn't work - and what to do instead.The healthy way of handling jealousy, so you can get your needs met without restricting your partner's freedom.Should you tell your partner when you're experiencing jealousy?How to have the jealousy conversation with your partner.What to do when your partner ignores your jealousy feelings.
3 VALUE BOMBSJealousy is the fear of losing someone or something you love. It's just a messenger that highlights your insecurities, so you can heal them.Feeling jealous? Before bringing it up with your partner, figure out what’s making you feel insecure and then ask them to help you work through it.If your partner is gaslighting you or brushing off your jealous feelings, that’s a big red flag. A good partner won’t let you control their freedom, but they’ll make sure you feel emotionally supported.
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In this episode, we delve into the sometimes murky waters of dating and kink, exploring stories like Purity’s and Desire’s, where romantic dates unexpectedly turned into encounters with fetishists looking for free thrills. Discover the lengths some go to promise kinks without commitment and learn to spot the red flags that signal someone’s true intentions. We’ll share practical tips to safeguard yourself against hookup and kink hunters, ensuring your dating experiences align with what you truly seek. Join us as we navigate the complexities of intimacy and desire in today’s dating landscape.
IN THIS EPISODEPurity's tale: Getting played by a fetishist for free kinksDesire's journey: Romantic dates that turned into random hookupsThe crazy extents people go to for free kinks - only giving empty promisesRed flags your date just wants hookups and kinks - even if they say they want a relationshipTop tips to guard yourself against hookup and kink hunters
3 VALUE BOMBSWhen what they say and what they do don't match up, it's a huge red flag. If they're always making promises but never delivering, they're likely stringing you along for their own benefit.New to the scene? Be careful. If you’re just starting out and don’t have much experience, you’re more likely to get taken advantage of. Connect with people who’ve been around longer—they can give you tips and tell you who to watch out for.Trust your gut. If it feels like you're putting in all the effort and your partner isn’t meeting your needs, don’t make excuses for them. Just walk away.
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Talking about your kinks with your partner can feel daunting, but it doesn't have to be. Have you ever wondered why so many kinksters hide their desires from their partners? The reasons might surprise you. We'll explore the best time to bring up your kink and share a no-pressure approach to kick-start the conversation.
What if your partner doesn’t even want to talk about it? We’ll cover strategies to navigate this tricky situation. And if they’re not open to exploring your kinks, don’t worry—breaking up or suppressing your desires aren't the only options.
Plus, we’ll uncover the real reasons your partner might feel hurt by your revelations and how to prevent that from happening. Tune in for tips and insights on making these conversations smoother and more comfortable.
IN THIS EPISODEWhy kinksters hide their kinks from their partners - it's not always what you think.When's the best time to have the kink conversation with your partner?The no-pressure way to initiate the kink conversation with your partner.What to do when your partner doesn't even want to have the kink conversation.What to do when your partner isn't open to exploring your kinks (hint: breaking up and suppressing your kinks aren't the only options).The real reason your partner may be hurt by your revelations - and what to do to prevent it.
3 VALUE BOMBSDon't just drop the kink talk out of nowhere. Pick a quiet time and place where you won't be interrupted, and give them a heads-up first.If your kink is pretty wild or you're unsure how your partner will react, start off easy with a general chat. You could say something like, 'So, I came across this article on water sports. What do you think about that?'Opened up about your kink to your partner after years together and got a terrible reaction? t's not the kink that bothers them—they just feel like they've been living with a stranger. The earlier you share your kinks, the better.
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Curious about the London Foot Party, the ultimate event for foot fetishists? We'll dive into what this unique gathering is all about and where it's hosted. Wondering about the crowd? We'll give you a glimpse of who you can expect to meet.
Is membership required to attend? We’ll discuss that too. And what’s the vetting process like for women? How do dress codes differ for men and women? We’ll cover all of that.
Pay-to-play might sound sleazy, but it's far from it. Want to know what happens during a paid session and how much it costs? We've got the details. Plus, we’ll introduce you to the organizers behind the London Foot Party.
Who is this event really for? Stay tuned as we unravel the mysteries and give you the inside scoop on this fascinating event.
IN THIS EPISODEWhat is London Foot Party?Where is the party hosted?What's the crowd like?Do you need a membership to attend the party?What's the vetting process for women like?Men Vs women: what's the dress code?Pay to play: what you need to know before you engage with a girl - and why it's not as sleazy as you think. What happens during a paid session - and how much is it?What are the organisers of London Foot Party like?Who is London Foot Party for?
3 VALUE BOMBSLondon Foot Party is a pay to play event. They make sure the women participating are really into the play, so everyone involved can have an awesome and genuine time. It's all about creating a great atmosphere where people can truly enjoy themselves.London Foot Party is the top foot party for anyone with a foot fetish. The cool atmosphere and real crowd make it a perfect place to indulge in all your foot fantasies.At London Foot Parties, there's always a theme. The women have to follow a fun dress code, but men can rock whatever they're comfortable in.
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BDSM marks: show them off or hide them in the summer? Many subs cherish these marks despite the pain because they’re symbols of intense and intimate experiences.
But summer poses a unique challenge. You might not want to sport those marks with all the skin-baring outfits and trips to the beach. How do you ask your dom to avoid leaving marks during this season? We’ll give you some pointers on how to make that request.
If you do end up with marks, we’ve got the best techniques to conceal them. We’ll also dive into whether BDSM marks are viewed differently on men versus women and what that means for your summer wardrobe choices. And, of course, we'll cover what to do when those marks make an unexpected appearance, despite your best efforts to keep them hidden.
Tune in for all the tips and insights you need to navigate BDSM marks in the sunny season.
IN THIS EPISODEWhat are BDSM marks?Why subs love getting marks from BDSM play - despite the pain.Why doms love marking their subs during BDSM play.A few reasons you may not want to get any BDSM marks in the summer - and how to make the request to your dom. Best techniques to conceal BDSM marks in the summer.Are BDSM marks perceived differently on men and women? What to do when your BDSM marks accidentally show up, despite all your best efforts to conceal them.
3 VALUE BOMBSBDSM marks can be cherished as pleasant reminders of intense, beautiful moments shared with your dom or sub. They symbolize the trust, connection, and mutual enjoyment experienced during your play sessions, making them much more than just physical marks on the skin.If you're planning a beach holiday, don't hesitate to ask your Dom to go easy on you, ensuring you can enjoy your trip without visible bruises. Alternatively, schedule your play sessions with enough time for marks to heal before you hit the beach or board your flight.Long-lasting foundations are your best friend for covering severe bruising, even when you're in the water. Just make sure to apply them correctly for maximum coverage and durability, ensuring your marks stay hidden while you enjoy your summer activities.
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Can you find true love on kinky apps? Let's dive into Desire's journey to find out. She joined We Are X two years ago, but a sexy date made her decide to leave them for good. We’ll discuss how to tweak your dating profile to attract better matches and reveal the two words you should never use if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
Kinky apps market themselves differently to men and women, affecting your chances of finding the right match. We'll explore whether these apps can hurt a woman's self-esteem and if Desire was naive to search for love on them. Who are these apps really for, and who should avoid them?
Desire has a new strategy to find a polyamorous primary partner. Join us as we explore the world of kinky apps and the search for true love.
IN THIS EPISODEWhy Desire joined kinky apps We Are X (then Killing Kittens) two years ago.The sexy date that made Desire decide to leave We Are X (and other kinky apps) for good. The evolution of a dating profile: how to tweak what you're looking for to attract better matches.The two words you should NEVER use in a dating profile if you're looking for a serious relationship.How kinky apps market themselves differently to men and women - and how that affects your chances of finding the right match for you.Do kinky apps hurt a woman's self-esteem?Was Desire naive to look for love on kinky apps like We Are X?Who are these kinky apps for?Who should avoid kinky apps - even when they're looking for a kinky partner.Desire's new strategy to find a polyamorous primary partner.
3 VALUE BOMBSMatched with a promising partner online? Always ask them what attracted them to your profile. You'll immediately know if they've read what you're looking for or just trying their luck. Kinky apps are great for people who are too busy to date and just want to find play partners or friends with benefits. If you're looking for love, you may end up with your hopes (and self-esteem) crushed.Using dating apps feels like a fast track to finding a date. You can easily get a match for the night, but you'll end up meeting a ton of people who just waste your time. This can make you lose faith in love. But don't stress, the perfect person is out there, and you might bump into them when you least expect it.LET'S CONNECT
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Ever thought about reconnecting with a past poly or kinky partner? It can be tricky. Can you really pick up where you left off? We'll dive into that question and share some real-life stories of reconnecting that didn't quite go as planned—and why they failed. But it’s not all doom and gloom. We’ve got a feel-good tale of a couple who rekindled their spark after months apart and what made it work.
Before you reach out to an old flame, there’s one crucial thing you need to consider. We’ll tell you exactly what that is. Plus, we’ll give you the perfect message to send to reconnect with an old partner and increase your chances of getting a positive response.
Timing is everything, so we’ll discuss when it's right to suggest meeting up in person. And there's one topic you should totally avoid in your messages—unless they bring it up first. Ready to navigate the dos and don’ts of rekindling old connections? Let’s get into it!
IN THIS EPISODECan you ever pick up an old connection where you left off?Some real-life stories of reconnecting gone wrong - and why they failed.A feel-good tale of a couple rekindling their spark after months apart - what made it work.The most important thing to think about before reaching out to an old flame.The exact message to send to reconnect with an old kinky and poly partner - and get a positive response.When’s the right time to suggest meeting up in person?The one topic you should totally avoid in your messages - unless they bring it up first.
3 VALUE BOMBSBefore you send that first message, get clear on your intention. Are you just looking to hook up again, or do you actually miss them and want another shot?Skip talking about what you want at the start. In your first text, just check in with them and see how things are going.Hold off on the sexting. Just because you’ve been intimate before doesn’t mean they’re ready to go there again.
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