Episodes
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What are the things we feel judged about? Have we to comply
with societal norms and expectations? Should we not all feel accepted for
whoever and however we show up here, regardless of what most people feel is
"best?"
The Laws of Trust, Honesty, Tolerance, Gentleness, Joy,
Defenselessness, Generosity, Patience, Faithfulness, and Open-Mindedness are
listed among the ten laws that Jon Mundy mentions as the "laws of
happiness."
These terms are self-explanatory. We can all understand the
value of living with the guidance of what these terms represent.
The highlight of what I see to be apparent in being
"assessed" and that which is gleaned from reports that are generated
following the assessment process, is that in acknowledging ourselves we allow
for the "other." As I see
myself more clearly, I am open to the personality differences of another. And
as I open to both, I accept and honor differences in both.
Now there's a path to happiness!
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What are your ideas about your best work? What do you decide about those ideas? Do you explore them or do they get stored somewhere inside, as you push them away because you don't have the time, patience, or trust that it's worth pursuing?
If you are stuck in a work-life that feels wrong, you do need to pay attention. Listen to the tugs; they are connected to a knowingness within you. We say we have a "gut feeling," an intuition. I like to think of it as our heart trying to have an intimate conversation with our head.
We are not certain about this thing called passionate work. We know what seems to have meaning to us individually, uniquely. But maybe there is "purpose" and meaning in work that is useful. Maybe we grow into the passion for our work because we feel an alignment with the value of what we do for work.
Exploring these ideas has created an opening in my own thinking, in my personal beliefs about meaning and purpose in the work that we do. Maybe we create more stress with this idea of finding passionate work, seeking work that is purposeful. Maybe all work is meaningful and it is up to the individual to see the purpose in the work. After all, everything depends on how we choose to see it, doesn't it?
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Episodes manquant?
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Wayne Dyer once said, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."
How do we do that---change the way we look at things?
I believe that it all begins with who we are Being...are we leading with self-love, self-respect, self-awareness, and acceptance or are we totally being influenced by external factors?
COVID has caused so many of us to reconsider our options...we have become more insistent on not only what we want to do but also how we want to do it. It is not unlike having experienced an involuntary job loss, in the sense that this change presents an opportune moment to reflect on what we really want. It's a gift, a blessing under the guise of a "problem." It depends on how we look at it, right?
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Amber didn't get to her happy career spot without some detours, even as she may not characterize it that way. She remained mindful, with every choice she made, of potential options all along her path. She intuitively maintained a "contingency plan" that accompanied every career move. Why? Because she had her eye on a goal...one of satisfaction in all the ways that were important to her.
Listening to her, I could not help thinking about how and why we couldn't all be blessed with that level of self-awareness. Even when we begin not knowing what we want to do for a career, how can we step forward into one thing, learning along the way, paying attention, to what we like and what we do not? How do we prevent closing the door to other possibilities?
Amber's story is inspirational. It teaches openness, self-acceptance, courage, and persistence. That's what we hear, what we learn from her. She knows that anyone can get to the work that is meant for them if they pay attention along the way and make adjustments accordingly.
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When you are aware of who you are, it generally leads you to understand your own motivations. That generally results in your awareness of others. So how and why is that important enough to discuss?
We are told, often these days, that social intelligence is something that can be developed. The reason we might want to improve in our own level of awareness is to enable us to have a degree of compassion for ourselves, which then naturally leads to being aware and understanding of others with whom we live, work, and play.
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Engaging in a self-assessment process can be informative but not in the acquisition of brand new information kind of way. It's more like in the acknowledgment of what we already know, so it's more confirming and validating. We smile in acknowledgment of what is being revealed to us on a report about our personality and interests.
And there are residual benefits of going through the assessment process. These benefits are inevitable and helpful. The reports allow us to extrapolate to others, mostly those with whom we live, work, and play. In accepting what is true of us, we somehow end up clear about how others may differ and how we might accept what is true about them.
It is personally rewarding to experience self-acceptance in the client and even more exciting when they understand the value of how it translates to acceptance of the other. It's "I'm okay, You're Okay," which is a beautiful thing.
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Whether we recognize it or not, we each have a philosophy. If we don't see it now, we will acknowledge it one day. And this life investigation leads us to be a certain way, which then leads us to do certain things. It leads us to the work that we choose, the person we decide on for our life partner, and whether or not we procreate.
We need to be what makes us happy. When we are experience happiness, it is contagious and we bring that wherever we are. It's infectious.
It's our responsibility to ourselves and the universe to be what is our purpose and that which is entirely in line with your philosophy. So, how does that happen?
Is this "radical reflection" something reserved for a segment or for all of us? We all want to live meaningful lives, have a purpose for our time here, and be happy. Recognition of our personal philosophy can help us get there more efficiently.
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We speak often of the nature of our work. Do we like what we are doing, and if not, why? How can we move into work we enjoy?
But there is another aspect to the work we do. There is the leadership and the corporate mission and vision. There are other employees with whom we work each day. These two aspects represent at least fifty percent of the reason we may experience a level of happiness with our "work."
We might even decide against leaving a job for higher income because of how content we are with our boss and co-workers. After all, money is not everything.
How is your company culture? What are the things you look for and prefer in your boss and the people with whom you work daily?
It is another factor to consider in making choices.
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Have we honestly considered taking on our career by remaining open and present to what is and what comes to us? Is there a sweet advantage to adopting this outlook for ourselves? Is this a matter of letting go of judgment about what we "should be and do" and comparing ourselves to others?
These are questions that I believe are worthwhile to explore. We owe it to ourselves to live the life we were "meant to," which can only really mean that which leaves us feeling a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. There is no resentment here nor is there a comparison to any other. It simply is self-love and self-care with a sense of service.
I think when we judge, whether it is ourselves, another, a situation, or a job (as one that is "beneath" us, for example), we lose opportunity and possibility. We may discount viable and even wonderful prospects.
Something to consider.
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Speaking with Deb, one gets the impression that there are no big daunting questions about career choice. "Just remain open," she says. The suggestion is not to concern yourself with finding a "career of passion," but rather, be present and evaluate the opportunity when it presents itself to you.Deb definitely seemed to "Go confidently in the direction," and while I'm unsure whether the remainder of Thoreau's quote is relevant, it's only because she doesn't think of a career path as something we necessarily "dream" of. She herself possessed only a type of self-knowledge. And she made use of the process of elimination. "Like what you do, stay present to opportunities, and once you identify what you do NOT like, leave that behind." It's a refreshing perspective and one that would appear to ease pressure and manage one's expectations in a positive manner.We love this fresh perspective, because we don't need more pressure, we need less. We don't need to focus on the future, we need to be present to the moment. We may make too much of the career selection process; we could "overthink" finding our purpose. Maybe our purpose shows itself to us in the career choices that we discover in time, and only when we keep our faith in positive forces in the universe.
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When we can't identify the work of our dreams, it may be because we haven't been tuning in to ourselves. It may be that we haven't parents or authority figures to provide the kind of feedback that stimulates our unique interests and capabilities. And if we make it all the way to high school graduation without that kind of self-knowledge, perhaps it is better that we delay further formal education. Take that gap year and try to "figure it out."
Nevertheless, we can't waste the gap year. We must step in somewhere. We must act in our own best interest to discover ourselves and our place in the world of work by getting involved. Start small and just do it. The best that can happen is that you fall into a space and place that hints at something you enjoy. Then you take it further. You will inevitably land somewhere.
Our quote from Teddy Roosevelt reminds us that the credit doesn't go to he who hesitates and waits. It goes to he who moves and attempts a position and fails. The failures only inform him, not defeat him.
We love "The Man in the Arena" quote because it encourages and supports us to do what we are, even when we aren't exactly clear what that is. It affirms to us that although we may not be one of the "lucky ones" who simply know precisely what their role in life is, we get one step closer to our purpose each attempt we make to get in the arena.
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We have another resource for ensuring that our intention guides us and that is the energy we bring into a situation. Our energy vibrates at a certain frequency and we are responsible for how we show up and influence a particular time and space. So what is the energy you bring and how can you be a positive force for good for yourself and all that is in your path? By remaining in the love of who you are and what is in your life. By accepting what is and letting go when we might be tempted to hang on, to be attached to the result of that to which we remain attached.
In EQ terms, Michael Singer's book, The Untethered Soul, reminds us to receive our emotions --that which is our energy in motion--for the value they bring to us in coming into contact with our purpose---who we are and what we are intended to do in our being here in this lifetime.
The beauty in all of this is that rather than focusing on what we do not have or need or lack (scarcity mind), we are entirely focused on all that we are (mind of abundance), allowing us to get on with our purpose and make our unique contribution that ensures our own personal happiness and success. When our life works, we will always be a force for good in the world, inspiring others to make their lives work. You won't be telling them, you will instead show them how.
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If there are only about 25% of us who choose the most appropriate career path for ourselves, could it be that these are also certain personality types? Are certain personalities more likely to have whatever it takes to be in touch with what is the best path for ourselves? Or is it too serendipitous to make such a correlation?
And in thinking about that aspect, meaning if there is a connection between personality and choosing more appropriately for ourselves, is it possible to consider how certain personalities fare better in other aspects of life?
Let's consider health and our unique responses to a scary diagnosis. Why is it that some people hear the same dire diagnosis and come out of it entirely differently. If we look at those who experience what is known as "spontaneous remission" and those who simply go downhill, might we see personality differences? If so, do we dare draw conclusions if/when it is appropriate?
On the health front, as mystifying as it is, we do know that studies continue on the mind/body connections. I am not sure we will ever be able to conclusively understand why or how these occurrences are.
Still, the questions remain about personality and optimal choices. And it only emphasizes the need for all of us to utilize as many resources as we can to allow ourselves the greatest opportunity to make decisions that help to ensure our happiness and success.
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Does our personality type cause or explain our behavior? Can our behavior be predicted or explained based on how we score on a "personality" test?
The simple answer is no. One type is NOT better than another and our type can not explain or predict our behavior.
While our "personality style, type or preferences" are formed quite early on in our lives (some experts do mention that tender age of five), there is no "if, then" statement that can be made; there is no definitive information that can be given to indicate a behavioral response based on type.
We may have a predominant style, but each situation and every experience one has allows us to grow. We incorporate lesser dominant styles as we continue on the path of time in interactions with others. We mature. And we learn how to interact using our own style and potentially recognize the preferences of the other, making allowances with that understanding.
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Whether we are selecting the right career path, or choosing the most suitable life partner, it's best that we have a high self-esteem. How we feel about ourselves, how we value ourselves, forms the backdrop for our self-awareness. It also influences our decision-making, so we can understand how feeling positive about our self opens up possibilities to choosing in accordance with that positivity. When we make choices from a perspective of self-concern and self-love, there is a greater likelihood that we end up happy and successful. In other words, when we love ourselves, we are more likely to choose appropriately and honor our true selves.
To be clear, it is a personal choice. We can choose to love ourselves, which then in turn assists us in making good decisions. And we deserve that. We ought not deprive ourselves of this right--self-respect and self-love is both our right and our responsibility.
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Whether we are referring to exercises in emotional intelligence or abiding by universal principles, knowing what we are feeling and embracing what those feelings are here to provide us is key. There is intention in the universe and attending to our feelings, without judgment and rather total acceptance offers us deeper insights into our purpose.
Identifying the feeling and sitting with it to get in touch with its "message," begins the process. Sending love its way to welcome it and let it be allows for understanding and love to be our guide. We want that and need that.
Listen to one set of steps that walk you through the process for this valuable practice.
"Your time is limited and you're supposed to be using it for something meaningful."
Michael Singer
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Arnold Patent's 24 Universal Principles are all about living our best lives. These principles correlate with a show that speaks of achieving personal and professional happiness and success in our personal and professional lives.
It's about our perceptions versus the truth; Our separation ideas versus our reality in the oneness that we are. As many of our resources insist, Patent's Univeral Principles remind us that we entered this existence knowing exactly who we are but signed on for a human experience, which caused us to forget.
This is one of at least two podcasts that presents the value of the 24 points identified by Patent, which he refers to as "Universal Principles." Listen, learn, and access his website, arnoldpatent.com to gain more wisdom from his words.
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All the problems of the world, whether private or public, local or global, can be solved with two resources: emotional intelligence and the teachings in A Course in Miracles.
Does that sound outlandish and too bold a statement for you to buy into? Well, consider this:
Your EQ will determine your behavior, performance, and decision-making. How we behave and perform and the decisions we make will make the difference in the quality of our own mental and physical lives and the relationships we have with others.
A Course in Miracles includes the teaching and concepts in emotional intelligence development. It speaks about the ego, projection, and forgiveness in a psychologically sound manner. Most importantly, it is about removing "the blocks to love's presence."
These are powerful systems that can positively influence and change our lives and the lives of those around us.
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We have been discussing living a purposeful life through being self-aware and identifying our passion through self-awareness. But there's another way to consider how we might live our best lives.
How might you respond to the question : Who are you? What are you? What are you really good at? What do other people in your life say about you?
If we have had parents or authority figures provide feedback about our talents and abilities early on in life, we have been in receipt of this information by the time we have to make career decisions. If not, if we are not so fortunate, what we may consider doing may be tainted by what the world seems to value-namely a degree of fame and fortune.
It's another question-who are you and where is the excitement for you?
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Knowing how to maintain our physical health begins very early on in our lives and therefore is familiar to us. We essentially know how to attend to our physical well being. We are also aware of the numerous resources to assist us in the maintenance of our physical health.
It's not the same in caring for our psychological well being. We are not always as familiar with resources available to help us. Even when we are, accessing those resources may be accompanied with self-punishing thoughts and unconscious behaviors. We may feel guilty that we even need help; we may be embarrassed about it. We may reject the notion, and resist getting the help we need, leaving us feeling like a failure.
None of those reactions (and that's what they are) are even necessary. We are better to develop the compassion for ourselves and reach out, knowing that help available. Besides, the people who love us are there for us. They are more than willing to open their hearts and hold our hand.
- Montre plus
