Episodes
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Weâre taught from a young age that success is the best path to a fulfilling and satisfying life. So achievers dedicate themselves to achieving, thinking it will bring success.
The problem is, success is not the same thing as fulfillment. And often, the more successful you become, the emptier you feel inside. As your relationships crumble, your self-doubt, loneliness, and existential fear consume you.
Worst part?
Success only further magnifies these feelings. You could have all the material success in the world, but youâll still feel hollow inside.
In todayâs episode, youâll discover the hidden emotional toll of success, how to face buried feelings before they sabotage everything you love, and how to be both successful and fulfilled.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way becoming more successful makes you feel emptier inside (and the only true way to find fulfillment) (1:51) The vicious cycle of society that traps you in a never-ending loop of achievement at the expense of true fulfillment, connection, and happiness (4:55) How success hides your deepest emotional issues until they explode to the surface (6:06) The hidden emotional toll of success that makes life harder with each achievement instead of easier (9:32) Why suppressing emotions creates a âpressure cooker effectâ that results in a midlife crisis (17:10) How avoiding your emotions steals your power over them and makes you do their bidding (20:06)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
Most achievers who want more from lifeâwhether in their relationships, career, or fulfillmentâturn to best-selling self-help books. But most of the âwisdomâ in these bestsellers doesnât stand the test of timeâat least not when compared to ancient texts that have helped people for thousands of years.
One such ancient book that offers a treasure trove of wisdom is called the Zhuangzi, an early Daoist text. And while itâs more than 2,000 years old⊠the wisdom contained inside this text is timeless. In fact, itâs even more useful in modern life than it was in ancient times.
In this episode, we're diving into wisdom that could completely reshape your life coming from a source that most achievers have never even heard of. It's ancient, it's profound, and it might just unlock what you've been searching for in love, career, and your inner life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why this under-the-radar, ancient text can solve your modern day relationships problems better than any best-selling self-help book (0:31) What if you didnât have to struggle, stress, or endlessly prove yourself? Hereâs a liberating mindset that can get rid of these pressures (3:58) The âWu Weiâ secret for becoming more authentic and aligned in your relationship instead of always at tensionâs mercy (8:42) How to become more successful than you ever imagined by letting go of your expectations and the constant grind for success (13:01) Do you feel trapped in your own identity? Hereâs why a butterfly can set you free from this perspective and give you a healthier one (16:55) How to permanently eliminate your neediness (both in your relationships and career) (24:45) This ancient Chinese technique helps you âfastâ your mind (and free yourself from worries, pressures, and emotions that arenât serving you) (27:23) The Bruce Lee method for becoming wildly successful in your personal and professional life by acting like a toddler (30:14)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
Episodes manquant?
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Your earliest relationships when you were a child can significantly impact your relationships as an adult.
How?
Well, when youâre young, you develop one of four attachment styles that can make or break your relationships today. The problem is, only one of these attachment styles set you up for a long, thriving relationship. While the other three are the culprits behind why youâve sabotaged past relationships.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
Itâs possible to break free from a self-destructive attachment style and instead learn the skills and mindsets to develop a secure attachment style. And thatâs exactly what we cover in todayâs show.
In this episode, youâll discover the 4 attachment styles, how they show up and impact relationships, and how to grow out of an insecure attachment style into a secure one.
The end result?
Not only will you have more luck with building a healthy, thriving relationship, but youâll also grow in every other area of your life too.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to break free from your relationship-sabotaging attachment style (even if itâs wrecked every relationship youâve been in) (0:34) The weirdest, yet most proven way to grow in your career, land a promotion, and bring home a bigger paycheck (2:12) How your parentsâ programming suffocates your relationships today (and how to stop letting your childhood programming control your adult life) (3:53) 4 types of attachment styles, how to figure out which style best suits you, and how each one shows up in relationships (4:14) The âsurvival strategyâ mindset shift for understanding and healing past traumas that keep you stuck today (11:24) How the âname itâ method builds emotional awareness, improves your emotional regulation, and helps you avoid explosive fights (17:46)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
Do you find yourself hopping from one toxic relationship to the next?
If so, hereâs a tough pill to swallow: Youâre the common denominatorâespecially if you think youâve just gotten unlucky in relationships.
But hereâs the truthâŠ
Until you take full responsibility for your own actions and behaviors, no matter how big or small, youâll keep repeating the same toxic patterns.
But there is a solution (as long as youâre willing to get uncomfortable and take responsibility for the role youâve played in sabotaging your relationships).
It wonât be easy, but it will help you finally break free from the cycle of toxic relationshipsâfor good.
In todayâs show, youâll discover why blaming your partner is a double edged sword, how you push your own unresolved issues onto your partner, and most importantly, how to take responsibility for your role in toxic relationships, so you break out of the toxic cycle.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The brutal truth about why youâre constantly finding yourself in toxic relationships (0:30) How to free yourself from toxic relationships by following the difficult, yet wildly effective âRR Methodâ (0:43) Do you find your partner being too flirty with others out of nowhere? Hereâs why your deep-seated insecurity could be the reason⊠(3:56) The insidious âDrama Triangleâ that plays out in unhealthy relationships (without either person realizing theyâre making their relationship toxic) (4:56) How to take responsibility for relationship conflicts and turmoil (even if youâre not the one to âblameâ) (8:46) Asking yourself this question when you feel a rush of anger, jealousy, or fear in your relationship empowers you to break free from the toxic cycle that follows you to every relationship (15:25) Why a victim mentality prevents you from building a healthy, long-term relationship (and how to ditch your victim mentality for good) (17:09)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
Nothing is more destructive than a toxic relationship. Itâs more dangerous than a bad diet, a lack of exercise, and even smoking. Energy-sapping relationships donât just mess with your mental health, they also shorten your life.
But how do you build a thriving, long-term relationship that grows stronger each year, instead of one that devolves into resentment, or worse, passionless?
Well, thatâs what I reveal in todayâs episode.
Youâll discover the 5 key relationship skills you need to master to build a relationship that doesnât just survive, but thrivesâdespite the obstacles you and your partner will encounter.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
This is the ONLY way to prevent your relationship from self-destructing in a blaze of fights, resentment, and bitterness (or slowly devolving into a passionless, lifeless partnership) (0:56) Why getting triggered at innocent, passing comments by your partner can be a good thing for your relationship if you do this after (2:06) How relying on your significant other to fix how you feel slowly poisons your relationship down to the roots (3:00) Try this simple âI, not youâ technique when discussing your emotions with your partner to avoid unnecessary conflict (4:29) How to bounce back after an emotional rupture in a way that actually strengthens your relationship (9:44) This mindset is one of the best predictors of a successful, long-term relationship and one that ends in misery (12:38) The âtime outâ secret for de-escalating a conflict thatâs heating up too rapidly (17:32)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
The longest running study in history has proven, with 80+ years of data to back it up, that your relationships are the single most important factor for your longevity, happiness, and even your career.
Hereâs the problem:
The reverse is also true. In fact, being in a bad marriage can shave off 12 literal years of your life. To make matters worse, most people never think that their relationships alter their health, longevity, or success.
In todayâs show, youâll discover how exactly a bad marriage shaves off years of your life, how a strong marriage doesnât just increase your lifespan, but your success too, and why your relationships are more important than your bank account, your job title, and your VO2 max.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why achieving (and surpassing) your fitness and financial goals wonât keep you happy, fulfilled, or even alive (only THIS willâŠ) (0:58) 3 ways a toxic relationship shaves off actual years of your life (2:04) How the âslow drainâ trap men often find themselves in erases 12 years from your life (7:24) The weird way a strong marriage supercharges your career growth and wealth (11:03) The rarely-talked about #1 most powerful asset for achieving lasting success (13:26) How to get the health and success benefits of marriage even if youâre single (15:36) This is the most important predictor of your health, happiness, and fulfillmentâproven by 80+ years of data (20:20)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Therapy is one of the best ways to better understand yourself, your emotions, and your past. Especially with how they impact your present.
Until itâs not.
Staying in therapy for too long can turn into an endless loop of processing feelings without ever moving forward. It makes you feel stuck in a victim mindset, haunted by your past, instead of actively working to change your present and future.
In todayâs show, youâll discover what to do next after therapy to best move forward, unlock personal growth, and create the life you want to live.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
4 massive limitations of therapy that can actually make it take longer to grow from your past (0:44) The insidious âTherapy Trapâ many who go to therapy fall into that keeps you stuck in place (and what to do after therapy to make real change) (3:19) 3 reasons why leadership coaching leads to more growth and confidence than therapy ever could (5:48) Asking yourself this simple question when you feel stuck instantly frees you from this feeling (10:57) How taking full responsibility of your past empowers you to change your present and future (even if everything wasnât solely your fault) (19:27)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
Your decision-making process is the single most critical skill youâll ever need. Figure out how to make good decisions that align with your values, and your life will become immeasurably better. Neglect this skill and your life can turn into a nightmare faster than a speeding bullet.
So, how can you improve your decisions and, as a result, your life?Despite what most people think, you canât make better decisions by improving your logic or reasoning skills. Instead, you have to hone something most people neglect in the decision-making process: Emotions.
In todayâs show, youâll discover why your emotions are the key to better decisions and how to better control your emotions.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How emotions you avoid âhijackâ your decision-making process and can sabotage your life (1:59) Why experiencing your emotions, not avoiding them, makes them powerless over you (2:51) The â8 Câsâ method for making sounder decisions that lead to a happier life (6:31) How to tweak your inner dialogue to make even the scariest of emotions less daunting (8:17) The âName Itâ secret that prevents fear from dominating your decision-making process (16:18) How to leverage âEmotional Momentumâ to motivate yourself in an instant (this is especially helpful when life gets tough) (22:02)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There is a massive, misery-inducing downside of success:
While achievements are great, they arenât enough to make life meaningful. But most achievers have been tricked into believing the exact opposite. And the more they achieve their wildest goals, the more empty they feel inside.
If you keep grinding without reflecting on why youâre so miserable, you may find yourself ready to call it quits with lifeâeven if you have external success that makes others jealous. In fact, I found myself in this exact situation: I achieved every goal I had as a teenager⊠but ended up on a ledge on the 57th floor on a skyscraper ready to jump.
Why?
Because achievements alone donât make life meaningful and conquering more goals without addressing your emotions will only make you more miserable.
But donât worry - thereâs a way out of this vicious cycle.
In todayâs episode, I reveal how you can break out of this achievement trap, why your personal happiness improves your productivity and creativity, and how to stop seeking success for successâs sake.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way groundbreaking achievements lead to ârock bottom miseryâ if you have this common flaw (1:21) A Nobel Prize-winning philosopherâs warning about how prioritizing your career torments your soul (3:48) An unusual way to improve your resilience, creativity, and better handle stress that most achievers never consider (5:27) How seeing your close friends on a regular basis can add 12 years to your life (8:25) Why dating a model and actress threw me into the deepest depressive funk Iâve ever been inâand how to avoid making this mistake in your life (19:08) How to unlock a constant stream of peak âflow stateâ according to hard, scientific data (26:30)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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If youâre an achiever, whether you notice it or not, youâre on a dangerous path.
Why?
Well, most achievers fall into something I call the âAchieverâs Trap.â Itâs an endless vicious cycle of achieving. Now, that might not sound dangerous at first, but a constant desire for success can only lead to burnout, isolation, depression, and even an early death.
There are other things which, believe it or not, are more important to your long-term happiness and longevity than success alone.
In todayâs show, youâll discover how the Achieverâs Trap mangles your happiness, why it can lead to an early death, and what you should focus on instead of success to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious âAchieverâs Trapâ which keeps you unfilled and unhappy despite your success (and how to overcome it) (0:49) This Harvard research study reveals the only way to find lasting happiness (1:34) Why chasing success leads to burnout, loneliness, and depression (4:29) The #1 predictor of long-term happiness and a long life (10:52) How your relentless pursuit of success can sabotage your physical health (13:05) The simple mindset shift that turns your feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction into fulfillment (27:21)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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After helping hundreds of thousands of people, from 87 different countries, find fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their personal and professional lives, Iâve decided to start a new journey to help you do the same.
Beyond Success is a brand-new show that explores the ideas that lead to lasting happiness and fulfillmentânot just short-lived âsuccess.â
If youâve succeeded on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing, this show will pave the road for your happiness and fulfillment on the inside.
In this introductory episode, I reveal the key concepts and ideas that weâll discuss on this podcast, explore how to invite more joy into your life, and shatter some of the biggest myths keeping you successful, yet unfulfilled.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Are you successful on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing? Hereâs how to feel fulfilled and successful (1:10) Why striving for perfection fast tracks you towards failure (and why focusing on this instead unlocks true happiness) (2:32) Is there a way to enjoy life and achieve your goals with more ease and efficiency? Yes, and hereâs how to do it (3:21) How embracing your emotions (instead of instantly shutting them down) improves your decision-making process (3:49) The single most dangerous word in the English language for your joy (4:19)For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Socially awkward guys donât get girls, thatâs the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isnât the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious.
And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? Itâs still active, and itâs still there sabotaging your success, but now youâre no longer aware of it.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
You can leverage your social anxiety and awkwardness to meet and date women in your life. You just need to know how to tap into it. And in today's episode, David reveals a few strange and unique ways to free yourself from crippling shyness.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way shouting from the peak of a mountain youâre a nerdy comic book fan frees yourself from crippling shyness and debilitating social anxiety (1:55) How following the ânormal solutionâ to inner conflict pollutes your subconscious with negative thoughts that sabotage your ability to have a loving relationship (2:34) Unable to find fulfillment? Hereâs how to unlock the subconscious, repressed parts of your brain (and discover how to let go of the things you canât change) (3:36) The outdated, and backward idea that âego is the enemyâ (and how to never rely on stress, anxiety, pressure, and deadlines in order to get things done ever again) (5:29) How proudly displaying your superiority complex magnetizes unconditional love, approval, and security in your self-worth (17:58)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they wonât be fulfilled in the long run.
There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And itâs imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life.
In todayâs episode, youâll discover how to experience success and growth â while also being happy, fulfilled, and not having to wait until you succeed in order to be happy.
Listen now!
Show Highlights:
The polar-opposite method to build a financial empire comparable to Rome (without stress, anxiety, and depression) (1:20) How your parents lied to you about the concept of self-worth (and how this lie keeps you mired in a state of loneliness and poverty) (3:26) The counter-intuitive way dreaming of âsipping pina coladas on the beachâ will force you to become a desperate workaholic who never spends time with your kids (11:15) How immersing yourself in âflow capitalâ will scientifically unlock a never ending state of high happiness (13:28) Why youâll chain yourself down with concrete in the Hudson River if you wake up with nothing to do on Monday (14:25)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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From a young age, attractive women become masters at sniffing out neediness. Most men donât discover this fact about life until theyâve sabotaged their dating lives and relationships.
But hereâs the good news:
Thereâs a proven system for overcoming your neediness. It wonât happen overnight, but it will free you from the sadistic grip neediness has over you.
In this episode, youâll discover the 7 steps to obliterate your neediness for good.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- How your fear about relationships dupes you into making relationship-ending mistakes (even if you donât realize it) (2:40)
- The counterintuitive reason becoming wealthy skyrockets your neediness (3:04)
- Why women can see through your inauthentic attempts to get to know their personality like Swiss cheese (4:41)
- The fundamental human needs that help you exterminate your neediness (9:03)
- Why having an agenda of picking up women when you go out subconsciously repels them from you (13:27)
- The 7 experiential steps to meet your own needs and obliterate your neediness (20:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
In order to find a loving relationship, you need to become somebody youâre not.
You need to rock a new haircut, fill your wardrobe with designer clothes, and hit the gym 24/7. You need to morph into Sean Conneryâs James Bond.
Charming, handsome, seductive, and irresistible to modern women.
Hereâs the thing: If youâre seeking a long-term relationship, this is easily the worst advice you could ever listen to!
Now, if you're optimizing your life for a short-term fling, have at it. Be the âplayer.â
But Iâm assuming you're reading this because you want a long-term relationship. And if you are, then what you need to do is unburden the already naturally attractive parts in you.
In todayâs episode, I reveal the 7 steps to unleashing the already naturally attractive parts within you.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
- The âBSYANAâ myth that sabotages your chances of finding a loving relationship with the âoneâ (3:28)
- How to unleash the naturally attractive parts of yourself with these 7 steps (9:03)
- Why most men fail to be the man that modern women desire most (hint: itâs not being a macho man like Sean Conneryâs James Bond) (16:23)
- The âLASAEâ strategy to be sexually attractive in the eyes of heterosexual women (21:01)
- How to form deeper emotional connections with women by teleporting back to your teenage self (23:33)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
A lot of guys struggle with dating for a fundamental reason:
They donât even know themselves well enough to attract a kindred spirit. Relationships and dating become much easier when you have similar interests and values as your partner. This is particularly true at the beginning of the dating process. And it doesnât rely on you getting lucky on a dating app.
But how do you discover yourself and your true interests? And how does this naturally attract your ideal partner to you?
Well, hereâs some good news:
This self-discovery process is fun!
And after listening to this episode, youâll not only know how to take this self-discovery journey in the most effective way, but youâll also figure out how to âtwistâ this into attracting your ideal partner.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to optimize your lifestyle in a way that naturally brings potential partners into your life who are well suited to you (1:49) 5 simple exercises to figure out your favorite hobbies (even if youâve never done them before) (5:03) Why discovering more hobbies can naturally magnetize your ideal partner (7:07) The âSocial Aspectsâ secret for twisting your favorite hobby into a social activity (7:30) How to meet suitable romantic partners without wasting time swiping left or right on dating apps (9:14) How to build a balanced and attractive lifestyle (even if youâre naturally shy) (17:48) An unusual way to eliminate your neediness by simply having fun (21:43)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you ever wish you were more alpha?
Itâs a big buzzword thrown around in forums by bitter and resentful men. And if you keep striving to be more alpha, youâll suffocate your relationships, suppress your emotions, and sabotage your happiness.
Why?
Because the pop culture view of the alpha male couldnât be further from the truth about how real alphas operate. Itâs not about being feared or dominating, itâs about leading with compassion, connection, and empathy.
If you want to be a true alpha and embody real masculinity, you have to stop striving to be an alpha. Itâs counterintuitive, but effective.
In todayâs show, I debunk the myth of the alpha male, explain how striving to be more alpha leads you down a destructive and isolating path, and reveal how to embody a healthier, truer version of masculinity that leads to lasting happiness and fulfillmentâboth in your relationships and your life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious âFake Alpha Maleâ trap men fall into when they frequent forums that leads you down a destructive and isolating path (0:31) Why true alpha males are actually the most empathetic, most protective of the weak, and the ultimate peace keepers (2:26) The root causes of wanting to be a toxic alpha male (and how addressing them leads to a happier, more fulfilled life) (6:59) Why striving to be seen as an alpha male automatically means youâre not (and how to be ok with yourself even when youâre not admired, respected, or feared) (12:51) How your desperation to be an alpha male suffocates your relationships, suppresses your emotions, and sabotages your happiness (17:44) The âAragornâ secret for embodying a healthier and truer version of masculinity (28:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Today Iâd like you to meet Ryan.
Ryanâs a first responder with a strong sense of fairness, and he loves to help people who need it.
Those are both noble qualities, so on the surface it all sounds great. But as Ryan processed the end of a marriage he tried to make sense of why some things bothered him so much, and why certain patterns kept repeating in his life.
He turned to me to talk about it, and together we explored how even great qualities can cause problems when theyâre driven by unresolved issues lingering beneath the surface.
This episode is definitely for you if you get enraged when people offend you, or have trouble setting boundaries. Youâll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and practical questions to ask yourself as you work through situations that make you mad.
Youâll also be reminded that youâre probably not broken, you probably donât need fixing, but you, like everyone else, can still grow, improve, and mature. Remembering this can help you be more empathetic to yourself and others.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to know when the high standards you have for other people are justified and when they arenât. (8:29) The surprising reality behind that rage you feel and how embracing it can help you handle unprocessed resentment. (10:33) Why an empty chair can help you patch a damaged relationship. (13:03) How to set healthy boundaries so people canât hijack your emotions and live in your mind rent free. (19:00) The clear difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. (19:24) The stunning reason society is better when people have the right to be jerks. And the nightmare result if that right is revoked. (21:55) The only question you need to ask to know if your anger is misplaced. (23:29) Why spitting on your fatherâs grave could improve relationships. (23:43) The counterintuitive way focusing on yourself makes you more empathetic. (27:56) âSavior Cycleâ: What it is and how to know when to jump in and help, and when to stand down. (34:16) The Jean-Luc Picard method to process trauma. (35:49) The Quicksand Strategy to love somebody through their problems. (45:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Inside Out 2 gives you a brilliant in-depth look into your inner world. Just by watching the movie, youâll better understand yourself, your emotions, and how to handle emotions better.
But if you pair this movie with this podcast episode, youâll also discover the actionable steps you can take today to balance your emotions, access your higher self, and lead the various parts of you more effectively.
The result?
Youâll become more attractive. Youâll have an easier time dating. Youâll develop healthier and stronger relationships. And youâll create a better life for yourself all around.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why watching movies like Inside Out 2 are more effective for mastering your emotions than many books and courses (1:39) The weird way watching Inside Out 2 can improve your dating life (3:09) How to get a better understanding of how anxiety interferes with and sabotages your life (3:42) Why the âBe Yourselfâ advice shy guys usually hear increases their anxiety (and how to get over this feeling) (5:58) How to radically improve your self-confidence by using the âFrom Withinâ secret (8:30) How anxiety hijacks your imagination and weaponizes your thoughts against you (and one trick to help ease your anxiety) (10:35) Why cold water and exercise can dramatically decrease your anxiety (12:40) An in-depth look at how anxiety affects all of your parts from an IFS lens (16:53) How to apply the lessons embedded in Inside Out 2 to real life (19:13) Why balancing your emotions instead of suppressing them leads to healthier relationships and better decisions (25:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Perhaps the biggest lie spread by the Red Pill community is how humans are simple slaves to our biology. This is how they rationalize the obviously irrational myth that a woman will leave you as soon as she finds a more attractive, wealthier, or higher-status man.
Not only does this myth corrupt your relationship with women, but it can even corrupt the relationship you have with yourself. The sad truth is falling for the Red Pill lies is a fast way to end up lonely, miserable, and hopeless.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
Despite how attractive the Red Pill mindset can be to some men, itâs based on blatant lies. And I'll prove it in this episode.
In todayâs show, youâll discover why women arenât slaves to hypergamy and status-chasing, how you can boost your attractiveness to women, and the real characteristics women value more than wealth, status, or good looks.
If youâve been stuck in the Red Pill trap, this episode will help free you from itâbefore you wind up bitter, resentful, and hopeless.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How adopting a âRed Pill Mindsetâ leads to bitterness and resentment at bestâand pain, self-destruction, and hopelessness at worst (0:47) Why women arenât only interested in status-chasing with their relationships (even if the Red Pill bros say they are) (3:45) The biggest misconceptions about hypergamy spread by Red Pill circles that will always make you feel less fulfilled in a relationship than you otherwise wouldâve been (7:19) How to avoid projecting your deepest, darkest secrets onto your partner (13:28) Need proof that the Red Pill community is full of you-know-what? Look no further than at⊠(16:41) 3 powerful tools for couples to help them build their emotional intelligence and adopt a growth mindset so their relationship improves over time (instead of becoming another divorce statistic) (18:46) Hate getting into fights with your partner? Hereâs how developing your EQ can transform dumpster fires into opportunities to strengthen your bond (20:13) 4 character traits that women value more than your looks, status, or wealth (27:22)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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