Episodes
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How often are you really listening to your loved ones? We all sometimes find our thoughts drifting to other topics when we should be listening to the people we love. In this episode, Jeremy and Doug discuss the importance of listening, understanding, and developing empathy. In a time when much of the country is on pins and needles, it is more important than ever to be able to speak to people we have disagreements with. Showing up authentically is especially important in conversations with our loved ones.
Doug and Jeremy both recount experiences that helped them learn how to show up for their families, both times where they succeeded and times where they faltered. They explain how their upbringings and societal pressures influenced their early outlook on their relationships, and how they broke out of that outlook.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[1:18] Doug and Jeremy discuss the post-election environment and how no matter who is president, we all still have to roll up our sleeves and go to work the next day. They also discuss the importance of understanding everyone’s perspectives.
[3:59] Jeremy notes that sometimes we lose track of our importance to other people. He explains a recent experience where a friend went through a difficult breakup and he showed up for that friend. The interaction was not a big deal to Jeremy, but it meant a lot to his friend.
[6:44] Doug brings up the importance of asking for help and being able to lean on each other. We need to learn how to respond to people in an empathetic way and how to receive help when we need it.
[8:56] Doug talks about a recent time where he helped his daughter with a language arts paper. His daughter is dyslexic and struggles with writing, so Doug’s help was extremely important to her.
[11:58] Jeremy and Doug discuss understanding and what helped them become more understanding people. For Jeremy, his wife taught him how to be more vulnerable and grow.
[14:44] Jeremy was taught not to ask for help and feel his emotions. He initially had difficulty showing up emotionally for his wife in his marriage, but he realized with time that the only way to learn to be there for her was to start showing up in small moments. He seeks to understand her emotions to show up for her.
[17:14] Doug gained an understanding of how he thinks through his priorities, and learned to put himself second and the needs of his loved ones first. He recounts his wife’s experience going into labor just as Doug was about to leave for a bachelor party.
[20:41] Doug recognizes that there were many times where he did not listen to his kids and give them the guidance they needed. He has had to learn how to stop and live in the moment.
[23:58] Even now, Jeremy sometimes struggles to live in other people’s moments and listen actively. He fins that his mind always wants to race to the next thought, so he has to be intentional.
[26:24] Not everyone wants a solution. Lots of men instinctually want to fix things, when what the people around them are often looking for is just someone to listen and empathize.
[32:33] Jeremy also notes the utility of saying no to a conversation until you are ready to meaningfully participate – simply telling someone that you are busy and asking to call them back at a time when you can really listen is a powerful tool.
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Are you living in alignment with your core values? Do you know what your values are? In this episode of Never in Reverse, Doug and Jeremy discuss their core values and the strategies they use to live in alignment with them. Our values may feel like no-brainers in the abstract, but when put to the test we can default to people pleasing and excuses. When we do not align with our values, we stunt our ability to reach our full potential.
Doug and Jeremy are both hard workers who believe in putting their families first. They have had to learn when to pull themselves away from work to spend time with their loved ones and set good examples for their children. Additionally, Doug and Jeremy are working to stay accountable to themselves and fulfill their own needs.
To have integrity, we must fulfill our promises. Sometimes, balancing this value with the importance of our own needs requires us to decline certain commitments. Gain valuable insights on how to determine what to commit to, how to turn commitments down, and how to find your core values in this conversation.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[2:52] The amount of obligations that Jeremy and Doug have to complete can be overwhelming. Doug notes that his work relies on building a layer of trust with his team and clients. That trust is built by consistently getting things done on time.
[4:39] Jeremy notes that Doug and himself also have obligations to themselves, which they can have more difficulty meeting. In many ways, being accountable to yourself is harder than being accountable to your work and loved ones.
[7:02] Jeremy and Doug are still growing and learning how to set boundaries in their work and personal lives. They live in the heat of the moment and often forget to take breaks.
[9:31] Doug notes that his work obligations can pull his focus not just from his own needs, but from the needs of his family as well. He has learned how to refocus through his personal growth.
[13:09] Do values change with age? Jeremy believes that his values have changed with maturity, particularly his awareness of his own values. Doug has also become more aware of his values with age.
[14:57] Integrity and authenticity are core values for Jeremy. He does not align with people who do not present themselves honestly, and he is authentic in how he shows up for his family.
[17:13] Doug has always had a strong connection with his wife, but she has also challenged him. He has learned from her throughout their relationship.
[20:13] Being committed around your core values is also a positive influence on your family. It teaches your loved ones how to be true to themselves and learn discipline.
[21:07] Doug is trying to be a good example for his children; teaching them to be trustworthy, accountable, and honest. He understands that he is a role model, but also recognizes the impact of the people he surrounds himself with.
[23:25] To Jeremy, commitment is about taking ownership of your responsibilities and not making excuses. He has had to learn to abandon excuses and take ownership of his mistakes.
[25:13] Integrity is also a core value to Jeremy. When he does not complete his commitments and makes excuses, he is not aligning with this value. He is often his harshest critic.
[27:18] Sometimes, the best answer is “no.” Making commitments in alignment with your core values instead of constantly people pleasing will leave you in a better place to fulfill the commitments you do make.
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Episodes manquant?
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Are you showing up for yourself? Many of us, especially men, are so focused on providing and showing up for others that we do not know how to reflect and take care of our own needs. In this episode of the Never in Reverse Podcast, cohosts Jeremy Axel and Doug Cox explore their own difficulties with self-care and how they are working to overcome them.
As providers, men are taught that their role is to support other people. Jeremy and Doug are hard workers, but this work ethic can sometimes leave them without any energy to show up for themselves and their loved ones. Jeremy and Doug’s families noticed their difficulty in this area and pointed it out to them, and both of them are working to improve.
Learn why putting yourself first will help you show up authentically at work and at home, and find the tools you need to practice self-care and self-reflection. You can’t provide for others if you aren’t providing for yourself.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[4:47] Men are typically taught to provide and put work first in our society. This often leaves us lacking in our personal lives. Doug believes that this mentality is a combination of instinct and societal expectations.
[7:03] Jeremy describes this as “the provider side.” He is learning that failure is a part of life, and accepting it allows us to build space for a life that we truly want.
[10:01] The desire to improve and win motivates Jeremy and Doug to work persistently toward success. Jeremy’s family has a running joke – “two more deals” – based off of Jeremy’s once constant focus on work. He has since learned to have a better work-life balance and show up for his family.
[15:00] Doug is going on vacation for the first time a long time. His wife told him that he has not taken time for himself. The vacation is a way for him to disconnect from work and show up for himself.
[18:34] Jeremy is taking his kids to the mountains to spend quality time with them. He thinks that taking space from the constant flow of emails will help him show up more authentically at home and when he comes back to work.
[22:39] Taking care of yourself has to come first. Jeremy and Doug struggle with putting themselves first and are learning how to better show up for themselves. Self-reflection is helping them make sure their needs are met.
[24:54] Doug gets a lot of his fulfillment from others. This can be an obstacle to him making sure his own needs are met.
[27:31] Doug also recognizes that he is a people pleaser, especially following a conversation with his father who pointed out this tendency. Jeremy says that it is not possible to realistically please everyone. He says that while he does not want to “reverse,” there has to be room to “slow down” and “brake.”
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Today’s episode of Never in Reverse focuses on competition and self-improvement. Beginning by discussing their early experiences with competition, Jeremy and Doug both point to sports as the key force that allowed them to experience a positive competitive environment. Sports also served as an escape from the more difficult parts of their childhoods.
Healthy competition is key to the culture at Fluent Conveyors. It allows team members to stay motivated and maintain high performance. Despite being a competitive environment, Fluent Conveyors is not cutthroat – it is also a congratulatory and motivational environment where team members know that their coworkers want them to succeed.
Moving from competition to personal growth, Jeremy notes how his hardworking nature sometimes put him at odds with his obligations toward his family. He had to shift his perspective and recognize those obligations as just as important as providing for his family. Doug also had to make a shift to keep his promises to his wife and children.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[3:06] What does a competitive environment mean to you? Doug says that he found his competitive edge in high school as he began playing football. It was a competitive environment because he knew that there were people on the sidelines who wanted to take his place.
[5:22] Reaching your goals starts with “winning the day,” or performing at your best every day to make progress over time. At fluent conveyors, the environment promotes motivation and competition.
[7:14] Jeremy believes that his childhood and his inherent nature give him a competitive spirit. He performs well in competitive environments and has learned how to get an edge over his competitors.
[9:11] Jeremy also found his competitive edge through sports. Because he was physically smaller than some of his teammates, he had to prove himself to keep playing.
[13:09] Doug also learned how to recognize his shortcomings and failures to plan for them in the future because of sports, allowing him to improve as he moved into high school.
[15:10] Jeremy recognizes that his competitiveness can also go too far at times. He has learned to keep promises to himself and his family to make sure he is fulfilling his obligations to the people around him.
[18:30] Jeremy has also learned to deliver on his promises. He noticed himself making empty promises as his family had when he was growing up and reflected so he could break that cycle.
[22:51] Similarly, Doug cares deeply about fulfilling the promises that he makes to his wife and children. He does not want his kids to look back and think of him as someone thye could not rely on.
[27:22] Using your mistakes to improve can help stop you from doubting yourself in the future. It also helps you model strength and resilience for others.
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Today’s episode of Never in Reverse is all about accountability. Doug and Jeremy have wrestled with the idea of accountability in their work lives and their personal lives, and they have found that it is crucial to practice in both.
At work, accountability can help foster an ecosystem where teammates trust each other to fulfill their obligations. Leadership becomes more trustworthy if they can maintain a record of accountability because their teammates know that they understand and would be able to complete the tasks that they are delegating.
In their personal lives, accountability has played a significant role in self-growth for Jeremy and Doug. Both began their marriages with a somewhat traditional outlook on their role in the household and a “what I say goes” mentality. After they found their lives wouldn’t always bend to fit this ideal, they had to look inward and learn to take criticism.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[3:49] Jeremy and Doug discuss the value of accountability to their families. Being accountable to others is extremely important to personal growth.
[5:09] In his work life, Doug says that accountability is crucial. Procrastination leads to obligations not being fulfilled and promises being broken. Other teammates rely on you to hold yourself to this standard.
[7:08] If you cannot fill an obligation, naming that and explaining why is crucial so that your team can respond. A culture of accountability creates a positive environment where people trust each other.
[9:42] Jeremy is in a man’s group that is practicing something called “extreme accountability.” This means that taking accountability does not mean that you aren’t allowed to fail. In fact, owning your failures is a key part of building trust.
[13:20] In the workplace, extreme accountability creates an ecosystem of loyalty and trust. Knowing that leaders are responsible to their own obligations helps team members feel empowered to stay on top of their work.
[15:40] In their families, Doug and Jeremy see accountability as key to their relationships. Jeremy initially thought that showing up for his family was about providing for his family financially. However, showing up also requires investing time and emotions in your family.
[18:44] It is also okay to have days where you are not able to fully show up for your loved ones. Taking ownership of your situation is key to communicating this effectively and maintaining healthy relationships.
[21:22] Jeremy was not taught to own his difficult days when it came to showing up for his family. He decided to join a man’s group to learn how to take accountability.
[23:24] Doug used to make promises to his family that he did not end up fulfilling. One day, his wife made him aware that he was setting his children up to be disappointed. This changed his perspective and gave him the motivation to show up for his family consistently.
[25:42] You also have to learn how to be vulnerable and take criticism. Doug learned how to listen to feedback and take it into account.
[29:00] Not owning who you are can leave you “anchored” to your mistakes. Making excuses can lead to resentment and prevent growth.
[31:55] In today’s environment, it is usually necessary for households to have two incomes. This means that the “man of the house” idea is not realistic in practice. Men have to learn to check their egos to adjust to a society that does not always match up with the idealistic view they may have been raised with.
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On this episode of the Never in Reverse Podcast, cohosts Jeremy Axel and Doug Cox dive deep into their relationship with grit – what it is, how they developed it, and how they cultivate it in their day-to-day lives. Coming from similarly chaotic backgrounds, Doug and Jeremy had to grow up fast and develop strategies to deal with adversity as a necessity, not a choice.
Being able to face challenges head-on shapes the way that Jeremy and Doug see themselves and the world around them. Their understanding of grit goes beyond usual explanations of the concept, with both of them applying it to their personal lives. Jeremy explains how he had to become a better husband and father to his family, and that his grit gave him the ability to make those changes. He says that showing up for your loved ones after a long day at work takes grit – and that it’s worth it.
Doug and Jeremy also both discovered their love of sports in their childhoods, partially because it gave them a way to practice grit and to exercise control of their surroundings. Sports taught them how to work hard and improve themselves.
For detailed show notes, navigate using the time stamps below:
[0:30] Jeremy Axel introduces the episode, the podcast, and himself. Jeremy lives in Denver with his wife and two children. Cohost Doug introduces himself, discussing his family and his love of the outdoors.
[2:00] What is true grit? Doug says that it is all about being able to face challenges head-on. Jeremy and Doug believe that their grit is key to their lifestyles and the way they view the world.
[4:49] What does grit look like? For Doug, it looks like waking up and embracing the day. Jeremy says that his grit showed when he learned how to become a better husband and father for his family.
[9:20] Grit is tied to humility for Jeremy, and it is a key part of his self-image. He did not choose to become tough, instead he was born into a situation where grit was necessary for his survival. Doug says that his childhood was similar.
[12:57] You cannot truly show up for anybody else if you cannot show up for anyone else. For Doug, self-reflection is a key part of how he shows up for himself.
[18:43] Doug recounts his experiences in his childhood, moving to accommodate his father’s career. He believes that his experiences shaped him and made him better able to adapt to new environments.
[22:20] What does it mean for failure to shape you? We structure our lives around avoiding failures and mitigating mistakes.
[24:50] Playing sports gave Jeremy and Doug an outlet to deal with their emotions and have a level of agency.
[29:11] Not allowing failure involves significant sacrifice, and Jeremy became very used to sacrificing his need to succeed. These sacrifices are another important part of grit.
[32:46] Doug tries to keep his professional and personal life segmented to make sure he is fully present in both. Learning to prioritize at a young age allowed influenced his outlook.
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“Life's Unexpected Detours.”
Inspiring stories of overcoming challenges and embracing change. Each week, a new theme, a new journey forward.
