Episodes
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For the final episode of season 4 I talk with undertaker and owner of the independent funeral service Natural Endings, Rosie Grant.
After listening to several episodes of this season, Rosie reached out to me to suggest talking with me about her creative, personal, and as she described it ‘radical’, approach to honouring the lives of those we love.
I have admired Rosie and her fellow undertaker Lisa’s work from afar, via social media, so this felt like a true honour to be invited over for a chat, and the perfect way to end this season on creativity and grief.
One grey July morning, Jon and I drove over to visit Rosie and Lisa in the old sorting office in the West Yorkshire town of Todmorden.Rosie has thoughtfully transformed the beautiful and characterful old buildings into a mortuary alongside a light and airy space for hosting ceremonies.
Our conversation with Rosie was both moving and insightful. And because Jon was present to help out with recording, and I knew he would have questions and thoughts, I invited him to chime in if he felt compelled to.
Which he did (although slightly muffled as he wasn’t mic’d up).
what came out of this was an incredibly open and vulnerable conversation about grief, honouring the lives of others and developing our own personal rituals.
I cannot wait for you to hear Rosie’s fascinating story, about how she first found her calling as an undertaker in the mid 90’s, through organising her own mother’s funeral,
How she navigated the very traditional world of funeral directors, her stint as a cabaret performer, her training as a psychotherapist and then her return to her ultimate purpose as a funeral director.
This conversation has stayed with me on a profound level, and the topics we discussed have ignited many important conversations with my own friends and family.
Thank you Rosie and Lisa for inviting us into the beautiful space you have created and for demystifying the process of death, ritual and grieving. We feel truly honoured.
A gentle warning, this episode contains some swearing, mentions of infant death and some references which may be upsetting.
Welcome to the season finale of On the Irregular: On Creativity and Grief with Rosie Grant.
You can find Rosie online at naturalendings.co.uk and on instagram @naturalendings or please head to the show notes for links.
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In this episode I talk with writer, poet and playwright, Cordelia O’Neill.
We discuss Cordelia’s play ‘Anything is Possible if You Think About it Hard Enough’ about a young couple whose baby is born still. We discuss creativity as a tool for developing empathy and how experiencing loss can bring you closer to joy, love and hope.
And we talk about the twist of fate where Cordelia’s life imitated her art.
This episode includes swearing and an in depth and detailed conversation about our personal experiences of late stage termination for medical reasons, so please be aware before listening.
Welcome to my chat with the tender and ever so lovely Cordelia.
You can find Cordelia online on X @cordeliaoneill3 or at www.smallthingstheatre.com
If you or someone you know has experienced or is experiencing baby loss through late stage termination, you can find support at ARC (antenatal results and choices) www.arc-uk.org
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Episodes manquant?
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In this episode I talk with Yorkshire artist, Jess Kidd.
We discuss Jess’ childhood as an acutely shy child who often lived in her own imaginary world, the comfort she found in creativity as a form of expressing herself, the challenges she experienced at art school and then being diagnosed with health issues that impacted her life dramatically.
We also talk about cognitive behavioural therapy and the place it has in her creative process, her multi disciplinary practice and the solace she finds in nature..Welcome to my chat with the ever so gentle, and ever so thoughtful Jess Kidd.
A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing
You can find Jess online at https://www.jesskiddart.co.uk and on instagram @jesskiddart
Jess would like to share the following resource which she has found useful:https://letstalkaboutloss.org/ @talkaboutloss
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In this episode I talk to photographer Jo Ritchie and writer Laura Mcdonagh.
We talk about their work on Projecting Grief, a collection of stories and portraits from individuals who have found comfort, distraction or hope in a creative pursuit after losing someone they love.
We also talk about how they came together creatively, their own experiences of grief and how it has changed them in defining ways, the power in sharing your own story of grief and the things we gain through loss.
Welcome to my conversation with the utterly wonderful Laura and Jo.
A warning, this conversation contains swearing and the odd bit of background drilling from the workmen next door.
You can find Projecting Grief online at projectinggrief.com and on Instagram @projecting_grief
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In this episode I talk with writer and disabled content creator, Helen Lear.
Helen and I met at drama school in Manchester, sixteen years ago. Since then, a lot has happened.
In her twenties, Helen dropped her life in the Uk to travel through Australia and New Zealand, envisioning a life of further international travel ahead of her.
During this time she began to experience serious health issues that were impacting her day to day life, which led her to the difficult decision of moving back to the UK.
Then, Age 27, and eight months into a new relationship, Helen suddenly lost her vision and became paralysed from the neck down, both overnight. Helen then had to go through the process of regaining her sight and learning how to walk again.
We talk about adjusting to her newly medicalised life at the time, having to give up a job she loved, and all the other versions of herself that she often thinks about, had none of this happened,
We talk about how using a wheelchair has opened up the possibility of travel for her again and how meeting new people and visiting new places soothes her feeling of unsettledness.
Welcome to my conversation with my lovely friend, Hele Lear.
A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing.You can find Helen online at https://www.wheelybraw.scot and on Instagram @wheelybraw or you can head ot the shownotes for links.
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In this episode I talk with autoethnographic artist Hannah Turlington.
We talk about growing up as a people pleaser,
training as a teacher despite wanting to study textiles,
eventually becoming a textile designer and realising it was no longer what she wanted,
grieving the person that she thought she would one day be,
Coming to terms with not being able to bear children and her experience of the adoption process.
We also talk about her work with a creative mentor and later, Hannah was kind enough to share some of her pieces of writing with me.
Welcome to my conversation with the no longer people pleasing Hannah Turlington
A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing.
You can find Hannah online at hannahturlington.co.uk and on instagram @hannahturlingtonart
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In this episode I am talking to calligrapher, bookbinder and writer Gaelle Jolly.
Gaelle and I have followed each other on Instagram for many years, and it was a joy to finally meet over zoom.In this chat we talk about our shared love of writing letters, Gaelle’s passion for getting lost in imaginary worlds, we talk about losing her husband and how instagram helped her process her grief
We discuss the dangers of placing all our self worth into our creative process, and how fruit is only exciting when it is wrapped in pastry.
Welcome to my chat with the delightful Gaelle Jolly.
This episode contains swearing and conversations on death. It also contains some background hammering noises from the workmen next door.
You can find Gaelle on Instagram @inkysquare and her website here
Some notes from Gaelle on resources for anyone seeking support related to the topics we touched on:'Sobell House Hospice (https://sobellhouse.org/). They’re local to Oxford though so I guess not so relevant to most people, but they provided the best care to my husband in the last 5 weeks of his life, and supported me for two years afterwards with free bereavement support.
Another important resource for me was everything written and produced by Nora McInerny (https://noraborealis.com/). I think of her as my widowhood guru (because we all need one of those 🤣) but she is brilliant on all flavours of grief.'
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In this episode I am talking to gardener and allotmenteer, Heidi-Lee Gregory.
In 2020, having experienced a sequence of losses and readjustments in her life, Heidi turned her back on twenty years in the corporate world and decided to start from scratch and completely change direction with her path.
We talk about Heidi’s move from her native South Africa to the UK, losing her father at a young age, then the process of losing her beloved grandparents, the realisation that she did not want to have children, despite always expecting to be a mother, and how her work in helping people design their dream garden fulfills her creative desires.
Welcome to my conversation with the extremely lovely Heidi.
You can find Heidi on instagram @heidilee.gregory and online at heidileegregory.co.uk.
If you are interested in reading more on the subjects we touched upon, Heidi reccommends the following:
1. Ruby Warrington - Champion for women without kids. She is on instagram and has a book and a podcast on the subject.
https://www.instagram.com/rubywarrington/
Book: https://www.rubywarrington.com/books/women-without-kids/
2. Selina Barker - Coach for career change, designing a life you love and champion of rest and not burning out! She is on Instagram for both her coaching and club you (her membership program and hello goodbye journals)
https://selinabarker.com
https://www.instagram.com/selinathecoach/
https://www.instagram.com/projectyouprojectyou/
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In this episode I talk with Susanna Amato, who describes herself as: actress, theatre maker, writer, clown and humanitarian.
Susanna also has a podcast where she invites guests to bring a paper based memory to talk through and shred, based on her theatre piece Landfill of Memories.
We discuss Susanna’s identity, how this forms a huge part of her creative process, she tells me about losing her father and sister, holding onto the memory of loved ones through objects and how much she loves both therapy and mortadella in equal measures.
Welcome to my conversation with Susanna Amato, an episode where I rarely stop cackling.
A gentle warning, This episode contains swearing and mentions of death and sex.
You can find Susanna on instagram @landfillofmems or via her website, www.susannaamato.com.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by hoarding or clutter in the home and would like some support, please go to hoardinguk.org
If you are in need of support and someone to talk to please contact The Samaritans.
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In this episode I am talking with author, art historian and lecturer Joanna Wolfarth.
Joanna was the first person I interviewed for this season. I was feeling nervous and out of practice, but Joanna’s gentle warmth and grace shone through my headphones and I immediately knew that this was exactly where I wanted to be. Sat, listening to her story.
In our chat, we discussed Jo’s shifting approaches to writing throughout her life, we talk about her book ‘Milk: An intimate History of humanity’s first food’, how motherhood and losing a close relative to suicide have impacted her life and work, about the ‘destruction and the construction’ of the self as a consequence and allowing herself to be more vulnerable.
Welcome to my conversation with the extremely lovely a Jo.
A gentle warning, This episode contains swearing and mentions of suicide and baby loss.
You can find Joanna on Instagram and on X @joannawolfarth. ‘Milk, an intimate history of humanity's first food’, is available from all good bookshops. You can also find the links in the show notes.
If you or someone you know has been affected by or is having thoughts of suicide, help is available. The number for the samaritans is 116 123. You can also get in touch with CALM (camapign against living miserably) www.thecalmzone.net and Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide www.uksobs.org
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In this episode I talk with my dear friend and neighbour, the author, Rozie Kelly.
On a sunny autumn morning, Rozie and I headed out for a walk through the fields. We talked about about losing her dad in lockdown and how this time of enforced solitude helped her embrace her grief, and also, how Buffy the Vampire Slayer featured heavily in this process.We talked about her soon to be published debut novel Kingfisher.
We talked about how the loss of her dad has impacted how she thinks about stories.
And she told me the best piece of writing advice she has ever received.
Welcome to my conversation with the wonderfully eloquent, Rozie Kelly
A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing.
You can find Rosie on instagram @rozeamee and her debut novel Kingfisher will be released by Saraband books in 2025
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Hello and welcome to season 4 of ‘On the Irregular’ with me Java Bere.
In previous seasons I have chatted to women from all walks of life about their unique, creative journeys. How they got here, and how their story has shaped their creative process.
For this season, I wanted to specifically explore the way in which grief informs the creative process, how transformative it can be and how it weaves it’s way through our lives, in the many tangled ways. How it manifests in our work and how we navigate the endless twists and turns.
I cannot wait for you to hear these conversations. Each one moved me in a profound way, and often made me laugh and cry simultaneously.
Thank you so much for being here, welcome to On the Irregular, season 4, on Creativity and Grief.
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In this episode I chat to artist and community organiser Sapna Agarwal.
Sapna is one of my oldest friends, having met in Manchester twenty years ago when we were both running around the city pretending to be the stars of a Jean Luc Goddard film.
This was a soft, gentle talk, fitting for a rainy day across Yorkshire and Glasgow.
Sapna tells me about dropping out of architecture school, how having children helped her understand her purpose and as she describes it 'the golden thread that runs through her creative practice', and the power of community.
With a light peppering of reminiscing about our youth.
Welcome to my conversation with the coolest girl I still know, Sapna Agarwal.
Sapna is far too cool to be on Instagram but if you're local to Glasgow do say hello and pop along to one of Sapna's events.Thank you to Moon Water Treasures for sponsoring this episode. You can find them online moonwatertreasures.uk, on Etsy and on instagram @moonwatertreasures
And thank you for listening to On the Irregular, please remember to rate review and subscribe, as it helps other liste ers find us.
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In this episode I chat to Poet, Writer, Performer and Educator Fionna Inward Allen.
I first met Fee around six years ago at a mutual friend’s picnic. As soon as she flashed her stellar smile, I knew I wanted to talk to her. And talk we did, all afternoon. We have since kept in touch via social media and on the 10th of September we finally met again when Fee performed a few of her beautiful poems at the podcast live event. Her words moved the audience between both tears and laughter.
In our chat for the podcast we covered Fee’s life growing up feeling torn between writing and performing, her vast inner world as a child, creativity as a means of escape, especially when you are bound to one physical place, her time working at the BBC and her self imposed fifteen year writing apprenticeship in the caravan she bought for this sole purpose, rebuilding herself after having her son and then subsequently becoming a single parent.
And of course, so much more.
Welcome to my chat with the delightfully gorgeous Fionna Inward Allen.
Warning, this episode contains swearing and mentions of eating disorders and child abuse.
You can find Fee online at fionnainwardallen.com and on instagram @fionna_inward_allen
Thank you to Right Hand House for sponsoring this episode. You can find Right And House online righthandhouse.co.uk and on instagram @right_hand_house
Thank you for listening to On the Irregular, please remember to review and subscribe as it helps other listeners find us.
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In this episode I chat to Life Coach, Speaker, Writer Syreeta Challinger.
It’s an emotional one, Syreeta shares her unique story of love, creativity and transformation.
We discuss growing up with a high level of academic expectations, her experience studying a degree in textiles in Manchester, the impact she believes the contraceptive pill had on her decision making in her twenties, her time in Hong Kong where she refound herself and met her husband Rob.
And then we talk about Rob’s brain anyeurism and how this shifted their life irrevocably and how she challenged her grief through her brand MOSS.
And we talk about love.
Welcome to my conversation with the fiercely honest, utterly gorgeous Syreeta Challinger.
You can find Syreeta online at thisisleaven.com and on instagram @thisisleaven and @momentsofsenseandstyle
And you can find Syreeta’s podcast Leaven, wherever you find your podcasts.
Thank you to Hazel copy for sponsoring this episode. You can find Haze Copy online here and on instagram @hazelcopy
And thank you for listening to this episode of On the Irregular, please remember to subscribe, rate and review as it helps other listeners find us.
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In this episode I chat to writer, artist and creator of the Moon Journal, Jo Cauldrick.
With her Moon Journal website, instagram, book and patreon, Jo has created a space full of resources and wisdom about working with the moon cycles and how these can help us find balance, rhythm and focus. Beautifully illustrated and full of inspiring writing, they are not only informative but also a delight to behold.
Jo and I chat about her years of travelling around, searching for their dream home and how this led them to moving in 2020 to live off grid in Portugal, on a piece of land they hadn’t even visited before.
We talked about the time she was living in a caravan with her young family and how her decision to learn to crochet and sell fruit hats on etsy grew her confidence and blossomed into Jo pursuing the creative path she is on now.
And of course we talk about the moon and the transformative effect it has had on both of our lives.
Welcome to my conversation with the beautifully warm and inspiring Jo Cauldrick, I hope you enjoy listening as much as I did talking to her.
You can find Jo online at themoonjournal.com, on instagram @themoon_journal and on patreon. Jo’s book ‘Muse with the Moon’ is available on Amazon.
Thank you to Jana Puisa for sponsoring this episode. You can find Jana online at janapuisa.com and @janapuisa
Thank you for listening to On the Irregular, please remember to review and subscribe as it helps others find us.
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In this episode I chat to creative coach Kathryn Ho, or as she describes herself on Instagram 'Psychological witch and self-doubt coach’.
This felt like a deeply thoughtful and delicate conversation. Kathryn’s meditative pace and considered answers to my questions led us to the big questions, the big feelings, the essence of it all, in many ways.
We talked about her awareness of the arbitrariness of life from a very young age, her experience of art school, existential pain. Questioning the concept of ‘fulfilling your potential’, the idea of needing to assign yourself a label as a creative and her gentle approach to coaching.
Welcome to my conversation with Kathryn Ho, a creative coach for the mind and the soul.
You can find Kathryn online at kathrynho.com and on instagram @kathryn_ho_ and you can subscribe to Kathryn’s newsletters by heading to kathrynho.substack.com
Thank you to Heidi-Lee Gregory for sponsoring this episode. You can find Heidi online at heidileegregory.co.uk and on instagram @heidilee.gregory
Thank you for listening to On the Irregular, please remember to review and subscribe as it helps other listeners find us.
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This conversation comes with a trigger warning regarding baby loss.
Eight Years ago, Jon and I lost our daughter Alma at six months in the womb through a late stage termination due to medical reasons. We discuss the pregnancy, the procedure, her birth and her funeral.
At certain points we express a humour which could be uncomfortable for some listeners. This was, and still is, one of our ways of processing the grief, and as always, we try to be as honest as possible in sharing our experience, in the hope that it may help others feel less alone.
For this episode, we shared out story while making lunch at home in our kitchen. There are tears and there is sadness, but there is also laughter and love and a conversation about how much she brought into our life and the creative transformation we both experienced through the grief of losing her.
Baby loss awareness week, now in its 20th year, is a wonderful opportunity to bring us together as a community and give anyone touched by pregnancy and baby loss a safe and supportive space to share their experiences and feel that they are not alone.You can find out more at babyloss-awareness.org
Arc antenatal are a UK charity offering support for those dealing with antenatal results and choices.
If you or someone close to you has been through the experience of ending a wanted pregnancy after a pre-natal diagnosis, Arc are there to provide non directive information and support before, during and after antenatal screening.
You can find them online arc-uk.org and on instagram @arcantenatal
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In this episode I chat to Interior Designer, Diversity Consultant, Instagram Influencer and Location House Host, Natasha Landers.
I first came across Natasha when I spotted her magnificent yellow kitchen floor on Instagram, and instantly fell hook, line and sinker for her sense of style both in her home and her dress sense.
I’m not the only one who noticed.
So did 14K other followers on instagram, Harpers Bazaar magazine, Stylist magazine, Reclaim mag and the Modern House.
Born in Hackney, Natasha ended up at uni in Wales studying a degree she still cannot understand the purpose of. We talked about how she finally came to accept that interior design is her calling, how dancing in her kitchen got her through lockdown, imposter syndrome, the loneliness of being a freelance creative and how the incredible yellow floor came about.
Welcome to my chat with the interior design and style queen, Natasha Landers.
You can find Natasha on Instagram @untillemonsaresweet and do keep an eye out for her upcoming website.
Thank you to Saba Lashay for sponsoring this episode. You can find Saba's work online at sabalashay.com , on etsy and on Instagram @saba.lashay
Thank you for listening to On the Irregular, please remember to review and subscribe as it helps other listeners find us!
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