Episodes
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Welcome to the fourth annual Psycho Lover Halloween special edition episode of Simpin After Dark, where I get into submissions from you, the listener! Karagan joins me to talk about IAMDDB's 2023 single, "Where did the Love Go?", which is about choosing yourself and remaining true to yourself no matter what. There's some fun lines in there that lead us to talk about the type of men that are obsessed with their homeboys and spend all their time with them, and give all their effort to them, while neglecting their girlfriends. We also talk about the negative impact that the ego can have in a relationship and why you should be wary of someone with too much ego, or of you yourself having too much ego. Then we get into the submitted Psycho Lover story about revenge porn, and share some tips on how to protect yourself, and also the legal side of what happens if you are ever in that predicament. We talk celeb drama about Lori Harvey, Drake, and Doja Cat, and end with reading some hate comments from incels and broke mean men on our viral TikTok video about avoiding cheap frugal men.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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I'm doing a full in depth review of Kali Uchis new album, Red Moon In Venus. The album beautifully explores themes of romance, self love, and sensuality. It tells the story of a new relationship blooming from the honeymoon stage, and going through the natural cycle of insecurities and problems arising, while learning to navigate everything the universe throws their way. It's super relevant and has plenty of fun lyrics to relate to, about your man being on his phone too much, or him starting to get too comfortable and slipping up in his efforts to keep the relationship strong. It all wraps up with the song, "Happy Now", that leaves us feeling like everything's gonna work out and that happiness is a decision we can commit to if we know the love is real.
I end the episode touching on some topics from last week's episode that I wanted to expand on. I saw a TikTok of a girl talking about her horrible experience getting a cervical biopsy, so I share my traumatic experience of an attempt at getting an IUD, and my thoughts on birth control and women's healthcare. After that I expand on Esther Perel's idea that partners in long lasting relationships, have their own private sex lives, and I relate it to Stanley Kubrick's movie, Eyes Wide Shut, and the idea of private fantasies and how they can hurt or benefit your relationship. I end with a short segment on the importance of remaining independent while in a relationship and the difference between codependence and interdependence. This is the season finale, so follow me on Instagram and TikTok for updates about Season 7!
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Episodes manquant?
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Today I have another amazing reoccurring guest, ceci bendita, join me to talk about KAROL G's new song, "TQG", featuring Shakira, from her new album, Mañana Serå Bonito. It'a all about thriving after leaving someone who could never handle you and was ultimately holding you back. Both of these baddies have been thriving in their lives and careers, after moving on from dusty lames that couldn't keep up and were never equipped to be a queen. Both their relationships were heavily publicized, so watching the drama go down from the outside has added its own layer to the mix, which the music video played into, and needs to be dissected. Most of us are not famous, but can probably relate on a level to that added layer, when we take into account how social media has publicized our own lives to a certain extent.
We get into cheating as a cultural "norm" in Latino culture, and how some men have secret second families. We dig into why this happens and how it relates to purity culture and the madonna whore complex. We talk about Esther Perel's observation that couples in long lasting relationships each have their own private sex lives, and what that even entails. Is it normal to develop crushes while in a relationship?
Then we talk about a twitter thread where gamers were venting about how gaming is their only escape from life, as men, because they can't talk to people in real life. It can be toxic to remain in a victim complex, and it can be extremely detrimental to a relationship when you neglect your partner and make them feel like they can't be there for you.
We also talk about how more women are choosing to remain childless and why it's important to normalize it and have more representation. People don't talk enough about the realities of it, and it's important so that women can make informed decisions.
Next week is the finale episode to season 6, so make sure to follow me on TikTok and instagram for more content and any updates <3
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Karagan joins me to talk about FLO's song, "Not My Job", which is all about setting boundaries and not dealing with men that aren't doing the work to be better partners, because it's not our job as women to make them into something they're not. It's a fun little bop with an early 2000's R&B vibe, and it has a great message that we can all apply to our lives. We continue last week's conversation about the Armchair Expert podcast with Dax Shepard ft. Anna Kendrick, which shared many great lessons about toxic relationships, and dealing with gaslighting and manipulation. We also discuss some insane TikTok live's about "90 Day Rules for Men While Dating", which are absolutely ridiculous. We then get into conversations about men and their preferences of who they wife up versus "have fun with", overbearing mother in laws, toxic boy moms, advice from Esther Perel, pick me's, and a lot of other juicy topics, so tune in <3
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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April joins me to talk about Kali Uchis' latest single, "I Wish you Roses", from her highly anticipated album, Red Moon in Venus, dropping March 3rd, 2023. It's all about releasing people with love and grace, and trusting that you'll be better off, and they'll get what's coming to them. She emphasizes that she expects to be treated like a queen, and if that isn't happening then she'll be gone, and it's their loss. A true bop about self love and not jeopardizing your peace or letting them see you sweat.
Then we deep dive some of the gems that were dropped on the Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard podcast, featuring Anna Kendrick, because there were so many, and they were too good not to share. She gives the rundown on her toxic ex relationship, and all the lying, gaslighting, manipulation, and mental abuse that she went through. She was extremely honest and vulnerable about her own attachment issues, and how she finally was able to leave. She also starred in a movie that recently came out, Alice, Darling, which is about a controlling boyfriend, and the scary, sinister way in which you can end up in an abusive relationship, so we talk a bit about that. Tune in <3
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Today I start by explaining the brat kink that I promised I'd get into last episode, and the kink of telling your sub what to wear. While searching for what that kink is called or if it's even a thing at all, I learned about candaulism, and dollification, which are super interesting so brace yourself for a little history and BDSM sidebar.
Elle Eliades's latest single, "More to Love" is a beautiful, soulful tune about feeling bored and distant in a relationship, and wondering if there's more to look forward to or if that's all there is. Her opening line, "I know the movies lie, but I hope there is more to love than this", sets the tone for the conversation about whether movies have given us an impossible portrayal of love, or maybe we're just not in the right relationship. Maybe there's no right answer, but in this episode I entertain the idea that it could be a little bit of both, but that we all deserve a love that ignites our life and that it's worth not giving up on.
I also read a short but insightful conversation that I saw on twitter, based on a TikTik screenshot, about how love is all around us and we show it in so many ways that aren't limited to sexual or typical romantic expressions, and that our expectations and view of love shouldn't be so narrow.
Then I talk about a concerning TikTok I saw of older men doing the "She's a 5 but_____. She's a 10 but" trend, princess treatment and being spoiled, and finally the "getting flewed out" discourse and the rape culture it's perpetuating.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Today I'm getting into UK R&B singer, Jaz Karis's, 7 song EP, "DEAR JAZ" (2022). It's an honest and vulnerable expression of the difficulty of breakups, the back and forths, and becoming whole again. She realizes she's dealing with a narcissist who is breaking her down and making her feel as if she's an option, so she makes the difficult decision to move on and heal, which is a story that many women can relate to. It's a cathartic, moody listen, perfect for a night drive, or for crying your heart out to if you're also going through a break up.
Then I talk about the latest misogynist f*ckery: Passport Bros. Men are not just getting their passports and traveling to other countries where women are more submissive, but they're building platforms off of advising other weird losers to do the same. It's predatory and promoting sex tourism, and the exploitation of women in unfavorable financial situations. I read some wild comments from passport bros or aspiring passport bros, on a YouTube video about their whole deal, so brace yourself.
Lastly I talk about how some men and their egos express their desire for control by trying to change the way you dress, using a YouTube couple as an example. I also compare it to another couple on TikTok, where the guy showed interest in dressing his girlfriend, in a much less sinister way, and I explain the difference. There was also some juicy but unnecessary drama surrounding that video, so I get into that and say my piece.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Happy new year angels! Tonight I get into an upcoming rnb artist, Avenoir's recent single, "Shameless". His music and vibes are very reminiscent of Brent Faiyaz so you can expect just the perfect dash of toxic lyrics (aka avoidant attachment dynamic). The song is about a back and forth between him and a girl who he "loves" but can't be serious with because of his trust issues and basically telling her that it's a dead end with him so to not pursue him. We've all been there, so we know sometimes these situations can turn into something real, even if you weren't looking for that.
I get into the ethics of why it's messed up to continue to see someone who wants something serious, even if you communicated that you don't. But at the end of the day all you can do is take people's words at face value and protect yourself, so if you know you can't handle a situationship, then remove yourself as soon as it's clear that's what's about to develop.
Then I get into a Tik Tok that went viral all over TT and Twitter, about a guy who had "an epiphany" when a girl that he'd been messing with was crying to him, and he felt nothing, and that it must mean that she is not "the one". Of course he wears a dangly earring, confirming many women's theories that those are the worst, sneakiest, most misogynistic type of men.
Lastly I talk about Andrew Tate's arrest for his involvement with sex trafficking women in Romania, and why we need to talk about what that actually entails, the loverboy method, and how people who post videos of "almost getting trafficked at Target" are causing more harm than anything.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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SZA finally dropped an album after five long years and I'm getting into some of my favorite tracks from this amazing project, S.O.S. The pick me's made it a point to go out of their way to proclaim how they can not relate and are above the themes that S.Z.A. poured her heart and soul into, so I'm going out of my way to explain why their takes are so surface level, annoying, and unnecessary. A specific femininity coach engaged with a really weird misogynistic tweet so I talk about that and segue into how women like her are masking their misogyny as "divine femininity". The literal essence of a pick-me is someone who puts certain women down in order to feel like they're above them and more deserving of love and the male attention they so desperately crave. Don't be like them. Tune in for all that, an in depth breakdown of S.O.S, and an explanation of what actual divine femininity entails. <3
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Yung Student Loans joins me to do a deep dive into his latest release, "KING OF THE LOWKEY: AN EMO SPACE ODYSSEY (STORY MODE)". This album tells the story of Yung Student Loans finding out a girl he's been messing with has been proposed to, and the way his feelings change from the beginning to the end. He starts as a side piece who's down for a good time but slowly begins to question if maybe there's more to it. We go on a fun tangent about Kendrick Lamar's song "We Cry Together (ft. Taylour Paige)", and the normalization of toxic relationships and abusive behavior. Then another tangent about the bible, when a certain proverb referenced in one of YSL's songs comes up. Lastly we end with some tweets about "the realest females", bare minimum, how to know if someone actually likes you, love languages, and tone policing.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Almondmilkhunni joins me today to talk about her new song "MISS U". It's about missing her man when he leaves to go on tour, and trying to hold it together and to not act out because of it. It's similar to being in a long distance relationship so we talk about the ups and downs and how to get through it. We talk about her journey as an artist for a bit and her process of making music and staying true to herself and what she loves. Then we dive into Teal Swan and the phenomenon of the social media spiritual "gurus" who are low key narcissists and have a cult like following. We talk about red flags to look out for and how to protect yourself from falling victim in general. Another weird thing I keep seeing on Tik Tok is the "femininity coach" girlies trying to rebrand purity culture Christian values as "divine femininity", but it's a little problematic so we had to dive into that rabbit hole to figure out why it feels off. We also talk about the wifey material paradox, a Christian Youtube couple's fight about anticipating needs and compromising, the dangers of being surrounded by yes-men, starseeds, spiritual psychosis, conspiracy theories and so many other juicy topics. Tune in & don't forget to stream "MISS U" by Almondmilkhunni.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Tonight I'm getting into JAKHKOY's latest single, "Bitter", which is all about grieving something that could've been. We've all had talking stages that failed, or even just grieved a potential future with someone that keeps giving you hope but stays bailing. It sucks, and we might feel bitter, but all you can do is accept it and move on. Then I get into some really good Tik Tok material that all focuses on Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. A lot of men don't want to hear it but toxic masculinity goes hand in hand with having poor mental health. I touch on toxic masculine traits versus healthy traits, roasting culture, and so much more.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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My guest, Karagan, joins me today to get into some of Lana Del Rey's songs including, "Young and Beautiful", "Shades of Cool", and an unreleased song, "Put Me in a Movie". They all dance around the themes of society's obsession with women's youth and beauty and its perceived time limit, the power that men hold over women and their desire for that youth, and just age gaps in relationships in general. Men seem to be freaking out that women are ok with being single more and more, so we dissect how that pushes them to go after younger women and how they're able to manipulate and attempt to mold them into their idea of what a woman should be. We talk about the power in being a bimbo, how older women are actually hot af and we've been brainwashed to think that they're not, and about Drakes weird shade he threw at Megan Thee Stallion, and Ice Spice, on him and 21 Savage's latest collab album, "Her Loss". I also cleared up some info about hate crimes in reference to last weeks episode, toward the end of this episode. Tune in to hear us talk about all that and so many more juicy conversations and topics!
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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It's the Halloween special edition episode! Join me and my reoccurring guest, April (my sister), to talk about the songs, "Pain" & "Just For Me", from PinkPantheress's 2021 mixtape, "To Hell Wit It". Both songs lean into the themes of unhealthy romantic obsessions and breakups. We talk about creepy behaviors we may or may not have participated in before like driving by someone's house to catch them cheating, obsessing over an ex, doing weird things to manipulate someone into a relationship, and lots more. Then I read three listener submitted stories about your experiences with psycho lovers and dealing with stalkers, gaslighting, manipulation, emotional abuse, and crazy first dates. I also share a story of my own in which I'm the "psycho" in question (I still think my actions were warranted though shh). We then get into a couple Tik Toks about patriarchy and the socialization of men, 50/50 men and toilet seats, and lastly an article about incels and the rise of violence against women. Tune in next week, I have some info and clarification about the topic of hate crimes towards the end of this episode, that I said I would look into.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Today I'm getting into the lyrics behind Baby Tate's latest mixtape, Mani/Pedi. It focuses on being honest about the relationships we have with others, and ourselves. I picked 8 songs: âAinât No Loveâ (ft. 2 Chainz), Do Better, Karma, Sl*t Him Out Again (ft. Kali), Mani, 4Lifers, Whatâs Love, & Honest. There are so many great themes from being smart about who you cry over, being scared to fall for someone, reevaluating what love means to you, being honest with yourself about your own toxic habits, and lots more. I also had time for the Pick Me Patrol segment today which has to do with a fake ring pop proposal, and the weird fantasy that men have of making a woman prove she's worthy, and the pick me women that pretend it's a cute harmless joke because they wanna be the cool girl so. bad. I randomly end up talking about PnB Rock's tragic death, RIP, and lots more.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Welcome to season 6 of Simpin After Dark!
Today Iâm talkin about Ari Lennoxâs newest album, age/sex/location, focusing on the songs: âPOFâ, âWaste My Timeâ, âBoy Bye (Ft. Lucky Daye)â, âLeak it (Ft. Chlöe)â, âBlocking Youâ, & âQueen Space (Ft. Summer Walkerâ. Itâs all about the transitional space of growth and self-love that most of us go through at some point in our healing journey. Itâs normal and natural to crave love and connection but learning to get past being desperate is important if we want to find healthy relationships.
Ari sings about dealing with players and sweet talkers and learning to see through the bullsh*t in order to avoid unnecessary f*ckery. You gotta know what real love is by starting with yourself, in order to seek it out from others. The album wraps up with Ari standing her ground and learning to cut off anything thatâs messing with her peace, and by acknowledging that her love and presence is a privilege that not just anyone should be able to access.
Thatâs the beauty of stepping into your healing journey, is that you can be confident in your standards and what you deserve. Queens donât bite their tongue about their needs and if you canât speak up in your relationship then we need to talk! I wrap up the episode by talking about the drama on instagram stories with Nick Cannon and one of his latest babymommas, cause itâs a mess.
Donât forget to DM me on instagram or email me [email protected] with your relationship or dating horror stories/psycho lover experiences for an upcoming Halloween special episode where Iâll share your submissions and talk about them! <3
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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It's the season finale y'all! I had to end it off with my girls April and Alexa so it's a family affair and we're talking Bad Bunny's song "TitĂ Me PreguntĂł" from his recent album Un Verano Sin Ti. It's about him loving his single life and being too scared of love, or trusting anyone. In the music video, he gets kidnapped and dropped off at his wedding where his real life girlfriend comes down from the sky looking like an angel and they get married, so we dive into what this all could mean and what it must be like to date Bad Bunny or anyone of that caliber. This all segues into a deep dive convo about bridesmaids and wedding party's in general. We're talking a lot of sh*t so brace yourself. We're only here to open up the conversation because there are a lot of problems with wedding culture that need to be talked about. Especially in this economy AKA a recession and just a being a part of a generation that is broke af. Another big topic is the huge commitment of being a part of a bridal party, and what a financial burden and stress it can be for someone who isn't aware of everything it actually entails. We also read some wild submitted stories all about bridesmaids, bachelorette/bachelor parties, and weddings, and talk about our own personal experiences with them all. We end the episode with a Pick Me Patrol tweet of the week and go in on this girl that needs to go to pick-me-jail for her horrendous take. Tune in for all the juicy mess!
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Master Steph came through to get into Ella Mai's song, "How" ft. Roddy Rich, from her latest album Heart On My Sleeve. It's all about someone switching up on you when you least expected it, so in turn you have to learn to be on your own and work on your self, because at the end of the day, time heals, but you gotta do the work if you wanna come out better than before. We jump straight into the Netflix show, "The Ultimatum", which is about 6 couples who all gave their partner an. ultimatum to get married to move on. We def give away some spoilers, but if you haven't watched, we do a full break down so you won't be lost. There were so many interesting dynamics in every relationship for us to get into including communication styles, non verbal behavior, using trauma as an excuse for unhealthy behavior, compromise, and lots more. We also talk about femininity coaches and the slippery slope of relying on a man, and treating a relationship like it's your job and your man is your boss... Stay tuned till the end where we address a comment from a guy on one of my videos about how he thinks men have it so hard trying to get a "high quality" woman, and how these days being "average" just doesn't cut it.
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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I got a solo episode talking about ImaniCarolyn's 2021 song, "Water". It's a bop! It's all about tryna break free from someone who won't stop playing games but also won't let you go. I'm also catching up on a few topics from previous episodes that slipped my mind. I'm talking about girls that try to be the cool girlfriend by breaking their neck to check out girls asses with their men. There are layers to how dumb and embarrassing it is. I also read an excerpt from "Attached" about the importance of having a "secure base" in a relationship and how a lack of it is bad for your health and the trajectory of your life. Heads up, I'm doin a deep dive into how intense the Johnny Depp stans are about this case that has become a source of entertainment and community for them. He's not an innocent victim and people need to stop with the Amber Heard bashing. There is no such thing as a perfect victim and this witch hunt is so damaging to real life victims of Domestic Abuse, so please keep an open mind if you have been sucked down the rabbit hole already. Stay tuned till the end for an announcement about next weeks episode!
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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Today I'm getting into Ne-Yo's 2008 song, "Miss Independent", with a guest - ceci bendita. The song is all about Ne-Yo seeing a woman being a boss, getting it all by herself, and him being obsessed and so happy that it seems like he doesn't need to offer or do anything for her. It's funny hearing this song and thinking about the meaning now that weâre older. We talk about the relevance the song had back in 2008 when women were first starting to celebrate being on their own, making their own money, and divorcing ain't sh** dudes. Before that, women were more reliant on men and stayed home as mothers or homemakers, and men were only expected to work and provide financially, but nothing more than that. It left a lot of women feeling unfulfilled, and once they started getting their own bag, they realized that some of these men weren't really providing much else other than money, but when it came to domestic tasks, they were making their life more difficult and not providing enough peace. It's a sentiment that more and more women are coming to terms with, which is why women initiate more divorces, and are happily and intentionally single. We also get into the whole idea of giving a man your "best years" and how women that have children and give a man everything, are so easily discarded and looked down upon for simply aging and are treated like disposable objects, or traded in for a younger better looking woman, or cheated on. This all leads into a conversation on how some men view single mothers as low value, even when those same men are all broke and ugly. Lastly we talk about a clip from Tik Tok from a TLC show called "Unexpected", in which a young girl is going into labor (her and her boyfriend are 17 ish), and he tries to stop her from getting an epidural for the pain. He's controlling and it seems like she has no one else or no where to go. We get into how some men trap women by getting them pregnant as a control tactic, and all the downfalls of that situation. It's a fun episode full of lots of other juicy convo's so make sure to tune in!
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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)
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