Episodes
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"**Scenes that can only be performed, they can't be read**".
Aaron Sorkin was the inspiration behind this podcast. And his stories have influenced my life over the last twenty years. So in this extended edition, I look behind the scenes at the five scenes which Aaron Sorkin says he is most proud of writing. And for good measure, I add in two scenes which have heavily influenced my life.
I look at Moneyball, as the underdog movie which inspires us all the think differently in order to challenge the status quo. And off the back of a recent Extinction Rebellion interview where the co-founder of the movement made sensational (un-true) claims about climate change, I also take a look at the one and only time Aaron Sorkin decided to address the climate crisis. And no, it's not as dull as it sounds I promise!!
LINKS
The News Room v Climate Change - Fact checking the script How can a climate debate be good TV (Marti Noxon) Aaron Sorkin's screenwriting tips How to win a presidential debate according to Aaron Sorkin Behind the scenes on Aaron Sorkin's favourite clips Aaron Sorkin BIO -
"The story doesn't really begin until you've introduced the intention".
He wrote some of the greatest shows that have ever been aired on TV, he has the highest grossing American play in history and he got nominated for an Oscar for his first play, which he wrote on the back of cocktail napkins while he was working in a bar.
He's Aaron Sorkin, and this show features some of his best advice, my favourite scenes and a look behind the scenes at his biggest triumphs and his deepest challenges.
LINKS
Behind the scenes with Aaron Sorkin Sorkinism's The Newsroom - Full opening scene [8 mins] Every "What's Next?" in The West Wing Biography of Aaron Sorkin Aaron Sorkin (Wikipedia) The Social Network Aaron Sorkin Interview The Social Network links & credits Aaron Sorkin's top screen writing tips Aaron Sorkin Teaches Screen Writing (Masterclass.com) How To Win A Debate by Aaron Sorkin Newsroom - Critics Review -
Episodes manquant?
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"Nothing stays the same and it can't remain the same".
He's been in broadcasting for over 65 years and is regarded by his friends as a 93-year old trapped in a teenagers body. He's the only presenter to win a BAFTA for shows in black and white, colour, HD, 3D and 4K. This episode is devoted to the man who taught us all about the natural world and how we need to take more care of this fragile blue marble that we find ourselves on.
In this extended special edition, I look behind the scenes at what makes him a great presenter and what he thinks are the secrets to his success.
Sir David Attenborough Bio President Obama + Sir David Attenborough Natural History Mastercalss with Sandi Toksvig at BAFTA My favourite Attenborough quotes Brian Cox & David Attenborough on Charles Darwin A tribute to Sir David Attenborough's career Sir David's appearance on Desert Island Discs Jeremy.Earth: "Good Humans, Technology & Climate Change"My Extinction Rebellion Photos
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"Enjoy the journey of life and not just the end game".
He's played a dragon, a sorcerer, a detective, a whistleblower, a coding breaker and an inter-galactic evil genius - and in his first ever stage performance in the nativity as Joseph on at primary school, he pushed Mary off stage because she was taking too long.
So what makes Benedict Cumberbatch tick? What inspires him? And what creative skills can we learn from the characters he's played? This episode looks into all this and more.
SHOW NOTES
Benedict Cumberbatch [WIKIPEDIA] 20 Facts about Benedict 52 Things you never knew about Benedict Follow @LettersLive on Twitter Sol Lewitt's letter to Eva Hesse Benedict Cumberbatch at LettersLive [YOUTUBE] Background on the Sol LeWitt letter [Brainpickings] Benedict on acting & inspiration [BLOG] Benedict on pissing off Julian Assange [YOUTUBE] Playing Van Gogh in BBC's Painting with Words Benedict's Top 10 Rules for Success [YOUTUBE] "If I had more time I would have written you a shorter letter" [QUOTE INVESTIGATOR] "If I am to speak for ten minutes...' [QUOTE INVESTIGATOR] Joyce Carol Oates [WIKIPEDIA] MASTERCLASS.com: Joyce Carol OatesMy slightly schizophrenic on-the-fly notes written not long after I woke up
Next on your reading list?
Sol Lewitt's letter to Eva Hesse
This episode's recording dashboard from Backpack Studio
Personality Insights Graph of Matthew McConaughey's Oscars speech via IBM Watson (not John Watson!)
Transcript of Matthew McConaughey's Speech
2 March 2014, Dolby Theatre, Los Angeles, California, USA
Thank you -- all of these performances were impeccable. In my opinion I didn't see a false note anywhere. I want to thank Jean-Marc Vallee our director. I want to thank Jared Leto and Jennifer Garner who I worked with daily.
Source: https://genius.com/Matthew-mcconaughey-bes...
There are three things that I need each day. One, I need something to look up to, another to look forward to, and another is someone to chase.
First off, I want to thank God because that's who I look up. He's graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of my hand or of any other hand. He's shown me that it's a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates.
To my family is to what I look forward to. To my father who I know is up there right now with a big pot of gumbo, he has a big lemon meringue pie over there. He's probably in his underwear and has a big can of Miller Lite and he's dancing right now. To you dad, you taught me how to be a man.
To my mother who's here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers -- demanded -- that we respect ourselves. And in turn we learned we were better able to learn how to respect others. Thank you for that mama.
To my wife, Camilla, and my kids Levi, Vida and Mr Stone (Livingstone), the courage you give me every time I walk through the door is unparallelled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.
And to my hero. That's who I chase. When I was 15 years old I had a very important person in my life come and ask me 'Who's your hero?' I said, 'I thought about it and it's me in ten years. So I turned 25 ten years later and that same person comes to me and goes, 'Are you a hero?' I said, 'Not even close!' She said why and I said, 'My hero is me at 35.' You see, every day, and every week, and every month, and every year of my life, my hero is always ten years away. I'm never going to be my hero. I'm not going to obtain that and that's fine with me because it keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.
So to any of us, whatever those things are and whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to and whoever it is we're chasing, to that I say Amen. To that I say alright, alright, alright. And just keep living, huh? Thank you. -
"Take the things that you love and build on them."
What does Academy award-winning DJ and producer Mark Ronson have in common with marketing hustler Gary Vaynerchuk? Both of them believe that the future belongs to the DJ's.
"Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself". Bob Dylan
In this episode I take a look at inspirational advice from Mark Ronson about how you can write yourself into the story of something (or someone) you love, and contrast it with practical advice from Gary Vaynerchuk about how exactly you and I can do that. Featuring "cameos" from Bob Dylan and David Bowie, this show is for anyone to wants to re-create their own story by curating someone else's.
Mark Ronson's TED Talk Everything is a Re-Mix (Brilliant short documentary by Kirby Ferguson) Gary Vaynerchuk - "It takes 2 cents to grow a wine show" Vaynerchuk Keynote at Web 2.0 Expo NY (2008) -
"You can change the world just by sharing your story".
This episode marks a watershed moment for me as I take a new career path, inspired in part by many of the conversations we've had on this podcast. In this episode, I look back at a few of my favourite quotes, and look at the ten words (and the three words!) which have changed my life.
If you are looking to embark on a new career path which feels "more you", take on a new challenge which feels or shift your focus creatively, then this might be the episode for you. It's one of the few times I talk about myself a little, bit I assure you there's no ego here - just lots of good advice to help you find your voice and tell your own story a little better.
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"There is no 'I' in team (but there is a 'Me')".
Before Sir David Brailsford took over as performance director for Team GB cycling, they had won 1 gold in 76 years. At the Beijing Olympics they won 8 gold medals with a further 17 at the paralympic games and 59 world championships over the next decade.
What exactly did Sir Dave do? And what can we learn from his performance philosophies? It's not everyone, but in this episode we did into the "Kaizen" of marginal gains - the 1% rule - and look at ways which we might be able to improve the performance of ourselves and the team around us.
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"It's really important to remind ourselves that impossible things happen".
He's flown further and faster than almost any other human. Astronaut Chris Hadfield was the commander of the International Space Station, has travelled 62M miles, is the US Navy AND Air Force's all-time top test pilot and has orbited earth 2336 times.
What Chris Hadfield has to teach us about communicating your mission, explaining things simply and learning things REALLY fast is well worth listening to. Fasten your seatbelt!
Chris Hadfield's keynote show reel [VIMEO] The Presentation Secrets of Chris Hadfield [LINKEDIN] Chris Hadfield on NotebooksandBourbon [INSTAGRAM] Chris Hadfield's Masterclass What I Learned From Going Blind in Space [TED] 13 Moments That Changed My Life [YOUTUBE] Space Oddity by CH for Bowie -
"We can't save the world by playing by the rules".
In August last year, hardly anyone knew who Greta Thunberg was. A few months later, she's inspiring millions of people to campaign governments around climate change and has been nominated for a Nobel prize. What did Greta do to become so influential in such a short period of time? And what can we learn from the way that she did it? Let's take a look...
SHOW NOTES
Greta's story [WIKIPEDIA] How to analyse one of your talks with IBM Watson Nominated for a Nobel Prize Greta's TEDxStockholm Talk [11 mins] @TEDxStockholm on twitter with no idea what's about to happen Per Espen Stoknes on 'Apocalypse Fatigue' Follow Greta on Twitter Photos and placards from the #FridaysForFuture march Kairos - "A supreme moment which one must act..." -
"You can change the world just by sharing your story".
In 1997 Steve Jobs took back the reigns of Apple when the company he founded was just three months away from bankruptcy. Fourteen years later Apple become the world's largest brand and went on to become the first trillion dollar company. Beyond the hype, the myths and the cliches, what was it that sparked this legendary turnaround? In this episode, I look behind the scenes of the Think Different campaign to look for answers.
SHOW NOTES
Think Different Campaign Crazy Ones (Read by Steve Jobs) Crazy Ones (Original Version) Steve Jobs (private marketing strategy session) Think Simple & Insanely Simple by Ken Segall (books) The story behind the 'Think Different' campaignThe Crazy Ones (Unpublished version)
Hereâs to those who have always seen things differently.
The ones who follow a vision, not a path.
Where others percieve first as valuable,
you value the first thing that actually matters.
While others are distracted by the new,
you focus on the significance of a whole new take.
Even before you could see how, you never doubted
we would change things.
And then we did.
Together.
Again and again, and again, and againâŠ
Relentless optimism is what moves the world forward.
So, keep seeing things differently.
Keep trusting there is always another way, a better way, a bigger way.
One that lifts up humanity.
Breaks down our barriers.
And heals the landscape.
You are the difference between the world as it was
and the better place it will become.
And different is the one thing about us,
that will always be the same. -
"I'm a dreamer, don't tell me not to dream..."
Martin Garrix went from his bedroom to playing in front of 100,000 people in less than two years. At just 22, he is already the world's #1 DJ for 3 years running, but his unprecedented rise to success has not pleased everyone. So what is the secret to his success and what can we learn from it? Perhaps the future really does belong to the DJ's...
SHOW NOTES
Martin Garrix YouTube channel (featuring the Martin Garrix Show) Martin Garrix & Mike Yung "Dreamer" by Martin Garrix featuring Mike Yung The story behind "Dreamer" This Was Tomorrow [Documentary] What We Started [Documentary] Armin Van Buuren Teaches Dance Music [Masterclass] Deadmau5 Teaches Electronic Music Production [Masterclass] ANIME (Martin Garrix set at ADE 2018) Everything is a Remix by Kirby Ferguson Do what you can with what you have (Tony Robbins on Ten Words) Taylor Swift on fighting negativity and beating the odds (Ten Words)My 'beautiful mind' style notes from my Rome keynote (a trial run testing the content for my new book) RemiXed: The Future Belongs to the DJ's
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"Laws of work: Show up. Shut up. Do your job".
David Mamet is a Pulitzer Prizeâwinning playwright, screenwriter and director known for such works as 'American Buffalo,' 'Glengarry Glen Ross,' 'The Untouchables' and 'Phil Spector.' His trademark rapid-fire dialogue are studded with obscenities and explore the power relationships and corporate corruption.
There is only really one rule of drama - "Don't be boring".
He is one of the most prolific storytellers of modern times. In this special episode on Ten Words I look behind the scenes of his most famous script, what motivates him to write, why are writers like beavers and why is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu the secret to his success?
David Mamet's Masterclass on dramatic writing
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"It's only with the heart that one can see rightly".
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry accidentally wrote one of the best selling books of all time. Since publishing "Le Petit Prince" in 1943 it has achieved almost mythical status having been translated into over 200 languages and has been voted the greatest book of the 20th century. It continues to sell almost 2 million copies everyday, but at the time Saint-Exupéry wasn't even sure anyone would like it. Leaving the finished manuscript with a friend before he went off to war he said, "I'd like to give you something splendid, but this is all I have".
In this episode of Ten Words, I look behind the scenes and what inspired this gorgeously eccentric and reluctant author-adventurer-artist-aviator to write. And what lessons we can learn from his relentless pursuit of creativity?
It's one of my favourite books of all-time, so much so that I even wear a bracelet everyday embossed with the Little Prince's star! I hope you enjoy hearing a little bit about Saint-Exupéry's story as much as I enjoyed putting this episode together.
Thanks for listening!
Jeremy :)
LINKS
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/museums/the-little-prince-a-new-york-story/2014/01/09/2763abf2-77cf-11e3-8963-b4b654bcc9b2_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7000701739d2 http://mentalfloss.com/article/64148/12-charming-facts-about-little-prince https://www.cbc.ca/books/75-facts-you-might-not-know-about-antoine-de-saint-exup%C3%A9ry-and-the-little-prince-1.4942933 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Prince https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antoine_de_Saint-Exup%C3%A9ry https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/02/03/exupery-little-prince-morgan-drawings/ https://www.montblanc.com/en/collection/landing-pages/stories-to-tell-exupery.html -
"What's your motivation? What's great? What's missing? What's preventing this?"
He's one of the top business coaches in the world worth over $6Bn who left an abusive home, to work as a janitor on $40 a week. What was the one thing which changed his life, and what can we learn from the way that he communicates to over 200,000 people every year?
In this episode I try to steer clear on the self-help bumper sticker quotes, and look more deeply at what drives the most successful people (including how they break up each day into 100 x 10 minute chunks). Digging back into the 20 years that I have followed Tony, and sharing some of my experiences from working alongside him in 2015, whatever your opinions are of Tony Robbins, I think there's something in here for you. Because one thing's for sure - he's NOT (just) a motivational speaker...
Show Notes
Tony Robbins facts and here Follow Tony on Twitter Watch 'I Am Not Your Guru' on Netflix 10 minute morning ritual -
"You can change the world just by sharing your story".
What started out as a bit of fun earlier this year has taken on a life of its own. Around 20,000 people now listen to the Ten Words podcast each week, to look behind the scenes and who said what and why.
So in this episode, I review the story so far and pick my highlights from the first 20 episodes, featuring poets, pastors, strippers, celebrities, politicians, scientists and storytellers. I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you SO much for joining me on the journey so far. I can't wait to see where we go next!
Ep. 1 PILOT ~ "You can change the world just by telling your story". Ep. 2 BARACK OBAMA ~ "Fired Up? Ready to go". x2 Ep. 3 VIVIENNE WESTWOOD ~ "Buy less. Choose well. Make it last. Quality not quantity". Ep. 4 CEDRIC VILLANI ~ "To achieve good results work all night and eat soup". Ep. 5 ELLEN ~ "It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success". Ep. 6 GARRY KASPAROV ~ "A good human plus a machine is the best combination". Ep. 7 J.K. Rowling ~ "The stories that we love will live in us forever". Ep. 8 JERRY SEINFELD ~ "The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason". Ep. 9 BEYONCE ~ "Growth. Love. Happiness. Fun. Belief. Enjoy your life (it's short)". Ep. 10 JOCKO WILLINK ~ "Good". Ep. 11 MAYA ANGELOU ~ "I've learned that I still have a lot to learn". Ep. 12 DITA VON TEESE ~ "Only mediocrity is safe from ridicule. Dare to be different". Ep. 13 QUENTIN TARANTINO ~ "Violence is one of the most fun things to watch". Ep. 14 ABRAHAM LINCOLN ~ "I destroy my enegies when I make them my friends". Ep. 15 TAYLOR SWIFT ~ "Happiness and confidence are the prettiest things you can wear". Ep. 16 THOMAS BURBERRY ~ "There's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing". Ep. 17 BRENE BROWN ~ "Connection is what gives meaning to our lives". Ep. 18 TOM HANKS ~ "Life is a grand adventure so keep writing and reading". Ep. 19 YUJA WANG ~ "I don't practice I rehearse. Practice is for beginners". Ep. 20 EUGENE PETERSON ~ "God let it be with me just as you say". -
"God, let it be with me just as you say".
He's a poet, pastor, preacher, philosopher and storyteller. He's the author of 40 books but is best known for The Message. A translation of the bible which took him over 20 years to write and has sold over 17M copies, making him one of the most important (yet largely unknown) authors of our generation.
In this feature length episode (part podcast / part audio book!) I celebrate Eugene's 85 years on this planet and explore the simplicity of his words, and how he re-wrote such an epic book by re-mixing it into a language that everyone can understand. Including me.
I'll never forget being at a U2 gig in 2001 just before 9/11 when Bono recited Psalm 116 from the Message at a key part of the Elevation Tour show. The entire atmosphere in the arena seemed to change instantly. This shared experience seemed to connect everyone but at the time, I, like almost everyone else, had no idea what was going on. Or what he actually said. So I set off on a mission to find out. Seventeen years later, the journey of that mission has finally come to life with this episode of the Ten Words podcast. I hope you enjoy it.
Jeremy :)
SHOW NOTES
Official website for The Message Bible A tribute to Eugene Peterson by @atU2 The connection between Eugene + U2 Eugene Peterson interview in Relevant Magazine The Hidden Legacy of Eugene Peterson Transcript of Eugene's TV interview "On Being" Eugene only ever preached "One Sermon" Retrospective on Eugene's life of "one long obedience" Bible stats featured in this episode Bono on Eugene Peterson Bono dedicates U2 concerts to Eugene Peterson the "beautiful soul" Eugene's obit in the NY Times Read The Message Bible online for free Rob Bell's book - What is the Bible? Follow Rob Bell on Twitter @realRobBell Follow the Message on Twitter @themessageVIDEOS
The Man Behind the Message. (If you only watch ONE video THIS is the one). Eugene's first TV interview on making the bible relevant (again) Bono & Eugene Peterson chatting about the Psalms NavPress tribute to Eugene Peterson "A Life Well Lived". Eugene on translating the Psalms and being pissed off at his congregationPHOTO GALLERY
My "Kingfisher Chair". 37 times.....
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"I donât practice. Practice is for beginners. I rehearse".
Yuja Wang is regarded among classical music aficionados as being one of the most important artists of our generation. So wide is her appeal and influence on artists of all genres that Red Bull even sponsored her for a documentary about the art of performance. A child prodigy from the age of 6, Beijing born Yuja has risen to the top of the classical music industry to become one of the world's most famous concert pianists.
But despite her prolific talent, many people don't see past the short dresses that she chooses to wear to perform. So what is it that makes her tick? Did she deliberately construct a "brand" in order to stand out, and what advice could she give to us as performers? Let's find out...
SHOW LINKS
Yuja Wang bio Yuja Wang Dresses Up Chopin (Red Bull Media House) Yuja Wang - Variations on the Turkish March (Odeonsplatz) Yuja Wang plays the Flight of the Bumble-Bee (Vol du Bourdon) "More than just a red dress". The OCR article The Art of Performance: The New Yorker Seth Godin on classical performers Yuja Wang performs in her underwear Juilliard School NYC Lola AstanovaREAD
The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin The Dip by Seth Godin Linchpin by Seth Godin Life's a Pitch by Stephen Bailey -
"Life is a grand adventure, so keep writing and reading".
His films have grossed over $9Bn, he has won two Academy Awards and is regularly referred to as "the nicest man in Hollywood". In this exciting episode of the Ten Words podcast I look beyond Tom's filmography and focus on how he approaches the creative process of reading, writing and film making.
What I discovered were some amazing pieces of advice that I think we can all apply into our personal and professional lives, regardless of how creative we feel we are. This was a LOT of fun to record. I hope you enjoy it.
SHOW NOTES
California Typewriter: The Movie Tom Hanks Bio Tom's Box Office Figures I. AM. TOM. (New York times article on Typewriters) The Typewriter Manifesto Tom Hank's 10 Rules for Success (Evan Carmichael) How to Analyse a Speech -
"Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives".
Brené Brown is a Texan researcher storyteller, and she is one of the most reluctant public speakers you will come across. Ironic considering that she's now a global phenomenon around the topic of vulnerability, the author of several New York Times best selling books and the star of one of the most watched TED talks of all time.
In this episode I look behind the scenes at what made her talk such a huge success, and I get completely caught up with the work which she feels compelled to share with the world. It's a heavy topic and a tricky one to navigate in such a short talk, but Brené manages to make the audience laugh 22 times in just 19 minutes! When they say that the best way to make an audience remember is to make them laugh, it is no wonder this became one of the most watched TED talks of all time.
Whether you are interested in "The Power of Vulnerability", want to become a better public speaker yourself, or maybe (like me) you just adore Brené Brown, there is something in this episode for everyone.
Enjoy.
SHOW LINKS
"The Power of Vulnerability" TED talk Brené's 99U keynote IBM Watson Personality Insights API Link for you to play with IBM Watson Tone Analyzer Brené's website Marie Forleo + Brené Brown Follow Brené on Linkedin Follow Brené on TwitterMY NOTES
IBM WATSON ANALYSIS OF BRENE'S TED TALK
FOR MORE INSPIRATION
BRENĂ'S TED TALK (FULL TRANSCRIPT)
So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant."
And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not 'magic pixie'?"
I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Ha ha. There's no such thing."
So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.
And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first year, I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist." And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely." And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's and a master's in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it." And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box."
And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work." And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all A's. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.
So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it's all about. It doesn't matter whether you talk to people who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here.
So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection. Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss, and she tells you 37 things that you do really awesome, and one "opportunity for growth?"
And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.
So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research -- I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame. And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?
The things I can tell you about it: It's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which, we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out, I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame, I'm going to understand how vulnerability works, and I'm going to outsmart it. So I was ready, and I was really excited. As you know, it's not going to turn out well.
You know this. So, I could tell you a lot about shame, but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time. But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to -- and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned in the decade of doing this research.
My one year turned into six years: Thousands of stories, hundreds of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were sending me journal pages and sending me their stories -- thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it. I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works. I wrote a book, I published a theory, but something was not okay -- and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness -- that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness -- they have a strong sense of love and belonging -- and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.
There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those.
What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted." These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness. So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents. What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.
And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first ... the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees ... the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.
I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job -- you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict. And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting. This led to a little breakdown --
-- which actually looked more like this.
And it did.
I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening.
A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you, it was a breakdown. And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist. Let me tell you something: you know who you are when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody. Do you have any recommendations?" Because about five of my friends were like, "Wooo, I wouldn't want to be your therapist."
I was like, "What does that mean?" And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know. Don't bring your measuring stick."
I was like, "Okay." So I found a therapist. My first meeting with her, Diana -- I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down. And she said, "How are you?" And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay." She said, "What's going on?" And this is a therapist who sees therapists, because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good.
And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling." And she said, "What's the struggle?" And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue. And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. And I think I have a problem, and I need some help." And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit."
"I just need some strategies."
Thank you. So she goes like this.
And then I said, "It's bad, right?" And she said, "It's neither good nor bad."
"It just is what it is." And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."
And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year. And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. A: that's not me, and B: I don't even hang out with people like that.
For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.
And so then I went back into the research and spent the next couple of years really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted, what choices they were making, and what we are doing with vulnerability. Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? No.
So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability -- when we're waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, "How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable?" And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses. Because I wanted to know what's out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back; getting laid off; laying off people. This is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.
And I think there's evidence -- and it's not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think it's a huge cause -- We are the most in-debt ... obese ... addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.
I don't want to feel these. And I know that's knowing laughter. I hack into your lives for a living. God.
You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then, we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.
One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb. And it doesn't just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. "I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up." That's it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort. We perfect. If there's anyone who wants their life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn't work. Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks.
Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, "Wow."
And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They're hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, "Look at her, she's perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect -- make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh." That's not our job. Our job is to look and say, "You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we'll end the problems, I think, that we see today. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives. We do that corporate -- whether it's a bailout, an oil spill ... a recall. We pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need you to be authentic and real and say ... "We're sorry. We'll fix it."
But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this. This is what I have found: To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen ... to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough" ... then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.
That's all I have. Thank you.
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"There's no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing".
This is not just the story of how I fell in love with a 'brand' in 3 minutes, but a tale of passion, purpose, love, loss, tragedy and adventure. In this special episode I dig deep into the archives to discover the real story behind Thomas Burberry in an effort to try and understand what made him tick.
What I discovered was not what I expected. A far cry from the $5Bn luxury fashion house you see today, Burberry not only had very humble beginnings, but it was built upon an invention that was discovered by accident in a farmers field. That innovation made it possible for explorers, pioneers and adventurers to go further and higher than anyone else had ever gone.
If you are interested in fashion, the process of innovation, branding, entrepreneurship or just good old fashioned storytelling, this episode might be just what you've been looking for.
LINKS
Tale of Thomas Burberry Thomas Burberry (Wikipedia) Britt Warner Burberry (Interbrand) Burberry (Strategy + Annual Report) Fireside chat with Tale of Thomas Burberry director Asif Kapadia Gaping VoidTIMELINE
1835 Born Thomas Burberry was born in 1835 in Brockham Green, Surrey. 1856 (Age 21) The Burberry fashion house was founded in 1856 in Basingstoke in Hampshire, UK, by Thomas Burberry, who was at the time an apprentice draper. As a specialist in outdoor sportswear, the designer quickly established a wealthy clientele who devoted themselves to hunting and fishing. Burberry was founded on the principle that clothing should be designed to protect people from the British weather. 1861 the census reveals that he was employing in his shop 7 men, 3 boys and 7 females. Burberry began to researching and experimenting with materials to produce fabrics which were weatherproof and suitable for clothing customers who enjoyed the country pursuits of fishing, hunting and riding. The company developed rapidly and in 1870, Thomas Burberry is described as a "draper and manufacturer employing 80 hands". 1879 almost Ten years later the designer invented gabardine, after a fruitless search for an alternative to rubber (Aquascutum), which was the only waterproof material known at the time. his innovative research and design resulted in a breathable, weatherproof and tear-proof fabric called Gabardine. The material was light and ventilated, but protected the wearer from the extremes of the weather. The material's success as a lighter and more comfortable alternative to rubber, allowed the Burberrys line (the âsâ had not yet been dropped at the time) Thomas Burberry invents gabardine â the breathable, weatherproof and hardwearing fabric revolutionising rainwear â which up until then had typically been heavy and uncomfortable to wear. Thomas Burberry soon lobbied well-known British generals to adorn his gabardine. the Minister of Defense put Thomas Burberry in charge of creating new uniforms for the officers of the British Army. Thomas Burberry then invented the Tielocken, a water resistant coat in gabardine that is considered the ancestor of todayâs trench coat. 1881 His business expanded further and clearly he was making money. He moved to a house in Basingstoke which had 160 acres, staffed with a number of servants, and a governess to look after his six children (1881 census). 1888 Gabardine patented (9 years later - SLOW - Why? Purpose? Commercial intent?) 1891 The company expanded with a shop opening in Haymarket, London, in 1891, and in Reading, Manchester, Liverpool, and Winchester. Burberry's products were also sold through thousands of agencies. Exports abroad began with wholesale branches being opened in Paris, New York and Buenos Aires. 1893 Norwegian polar explorer, zoologist and recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, Dr Fridtjof Nansen is the first recorded polar explorer to take Burberry gabardine to the poles when he sets sail bound for the Arctic Circle. 1901 "LOGO" The Equestrian Knight logo appears for the first time accompanied by the Latin word 'Prorsum' meaning 'forwards'. The company runs a public competition to design a new logo for the brand. The winning entry is inspired by 13th and 14th-century armour on display at The Wallace Collection in London â and the Equestrian Knight Device is born 1908 Air Commodore Edward Maitland wears Burberry gabardine to travel from Crystal Palace to Russia in a hot air balloon. Covering a distance of 1,117 miles in 31 Âœ hours, he sets the worldâs long-distance overseas record and the British long-distance in-flight record. 1910 Celebrated aviator Claude Grahame-White wears Burberry gabardine. He is the first person to fly between London and Manchester in less than 24 hours. 1911 Norwegian Explorer Roald Amundsen and his team became the first people to reach the South Pole with a Burberry gabardine tent and clothing. 1912 British Explorer Captain Robert Falcon Scott reaches the South Pole wearing Burberry clothing and equipped with a Burberry tent. Tragically he and his team died on the return journey. 1912 The Tielocken coat, designed by Thomas Burberry, is patented. Considered the predecessor to the trench coat, the Tielocken closes with a single strap and buckle fastening and only features a button at the collar. 1914 Acclaimed British Explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton wears Burberry gabardine for three expeditions in the early 20th century, including the ill-fated Endurance expedition. 1914 The Burberry trench coat is refined during the First World War. The functional design includes epaulettes used to suspend military equipment such as gloves and whistles, D-rings used to carry grenades, the gun flap to provide additional protection when in action and the storm shield to allow water to run off it smoothly. 1917: Thomas Burberry retired from the company in 1917 (BEFORE END OF WWI) 1919 HM King George V officially appointed Burberry a Royal Warrant as Tailors. 1920 - Burberryâs Limited goes public - raising ÂŁ2M share capital 1920 Nova check The Burberry check, now registered as a trademark, is introduced as a lining to our rainwear. 1934 - same day delivery to anyone living in London in own vehicle 1937 Burberry sponsors a record-breaking flight from Croydon to Cape Town in an aeroplane called 'The Burberryâ. Both aviators, Flying Officer Arthur Clouston and Betty Kirby-Green, wear Burberry. 1940s During the Second World War, Burberry supplied the British Army with a range of military apparel and accessories, including the trench coat. Burberry also catered for various other divisions of the British Armed Forces, including the Royal Air Force (RAF), the Royal Navy, the Royal Pioneer Corps, the Officer Cadet Training Unit (OCTU), and the Auxiliary Territorial Service (ATS) - including the womenâs division. Despite the austere conditions posed by war, Burberry continued to make civilian clothing during the 1940's including weatherproofs, overcoats and suits for both men and women. The brand adapted the product category to war time to include womenâs siren suits, which were designed to be worn in an air-raid. By 1965 One in five coats exported from Britain is a Burberry product. - Montre plus
