Episodes
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Ever feel like you're carrying a secret that's too heavy to share? In this powerful episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore why sharing our authentic stories is crucial for lasting recovery. They dive into how keeping parts of ourselves hidden can actually deepen our isolation, while taking careful steps to share with trusted others can create profound healing. Drawing from the wisdom of pioneering psychotherapist Carl Rogers, they discuss how genuine connection and unconditional acceptance can transform recovery from a lonely journey into a shared path of growth. The hosts offer practical strategies for breaking down the walls of shame and secrecy, while emphasizing the importance of choosing safe people and spaces for self-disclosure. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights into building the authentic connections that make lasting change possible.
Download: Self-Disclosure in Recovery Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in deep
Key Topics:
Understanding the relationship between isolation and addiction
The role of unconditional positive regard in healing
How to identify safe people for self-disclosure
Practical steps for sharing your story
The importance of starting small with vulnerability
Using journaling to explore sharing readiness
Creating a self-disclosure plan
Timestamps
[00:01:04] Introduction to self-disclosure and authentic connection
[00:02:00] The impact of keeping secrets in recovery
[00:04:08] Carl Rogers' insights on understanding and acceptance
[00:08:35] Practical steps for building vulnerability
[00:11:55] Understanding your comfort level with sharing
[00:13:21] Journaling prompts for self-reflection
[00:14:30] The power of community in recovery
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Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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At the age of 15, Aaron Perra took his first drink, setting off a chain of events that would lead him through the tumultuous landscape of addiction and ultimately to the healing power of poetry. On the Addicted Mind Podcast, Aaron opens up about his struggles with identity, family rejection, and homelessness during his teenage years in Minneapolis. Each setback became a stepping stone, as he found sanctuary in a 12-step program and support from Minneapolis' Youth Links, which helped him pursue a career in cosmetology and discover his passion for poetry.
Aaron shares the heart-wrenching journey of battling meth addiction, the challenges of codependency, and how a heartfelt intervention by a dear friend became the catalyst for change in July 2022. His path to recovery was marked by a network of supportive individuals who provided the community and encouragement he needed to embrace sobriety. The turning point in Aaron's life illustrates the profound impact of genuine connection and unwavering support, reminding listeners of the pivotal role that community plays in overcoming adversity.
In this episode, you will hear:
Aaron Perra's journey from addiction to recovery through poetry
Struggles with identity, family rejection, and homelessness
Impact of a 12-step program and community support in recovery
Battle with meth addiction and the role of codependency
Poetry as a lifeline and creative outlet during recovery
Publication of "Triggers in Love" and the importance of community support
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
https://www.amazon.com/TRIGGERS-LOVE-Poetry-Aaron-Joshua/dp/B0CGYVW93J
https://www.instagram.com/aaron_joshua_perra/
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Episodes manquant?
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Have you ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, questioning yourself, or worse – thinking about relapsing? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, Duane Osterlind tackles the crucial but often overlooked aspect of recovery: managing toxic relationships. Through a compelling case study of a woman six months into her sobriety journey, Osterlind reveals how seemingly supportive family members can unknowingly threaten our recovery with subtle comments and behaviors. He dives into the science behind how relationships affect our physical health, from our heart function to our immune system, and provides practical tools for identifying and managing toxic relationships in recovery. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights into creating a healthier support system for long-term sobriety.
Download: Toxic Relationships Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in deep dive
Key Topics:
• Physical and emotional impacts of toxic relationships on recovery
• Scientific evidence linking relationship quality to physical health
• Signs of toxic relationships and how to identify them
• Three strategies for managing toxic relationships
• The importance of boundaries in recovery
• How to evaluate your current relationships
• Building a supportive network for recovery
Timestamps:
[00:01:24] Opening question about exhausting conversations and recovery
[00:02:15] Case study of client struggling with family relationships
[00:04:11] Science behind relationships and physical health
[00:06:39] How to identify toxic relationships
[00:09:32] Three main strategies for handling toxic relationships
[00:11:13] Practical exercise for evaluating relationships
[00:13:12] Resources and action steps for listeners
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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Dr. Mary Crocker Cook graces our latest episode of the Addicted Mind Podcast, bringing her 35 years of expertise in therapy and addiction counseling. We tackle the intricate ties between attachment, addiction, and relationship patterns, particularly spotlighting the challenges faced by accomplished women who find themselves in mismatched partnerships. Dr. Cook sheds light on her pioneering approach of attachment-infused addiction treatment, helping us understand how early attachment disruptions shape decision-making and relational dynamics with profound emotional and financial consequences.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into attachment styles, focusing on the anxious and avoidant spectrums. We uncover how fear of disconnection can lead individuals to become overly anxious or to suppress their needs, causing relational dysfunction. Dr. Cook shares insights on how these behaviors are often rooted in a lack of trust and how addiction can serve as an escape from unmet emotional needs. We explore the critical role of recovery and supportive relationships in fostering secure attachments and breaking unhealthy cycles.
Navigating challenging relationships requires a balance of compassion and self-protection, and Dr. Cook offers practical advice for women trapped in unhealthy dynamics. By understanding attachment wounds and prioritizing harm reduction, financial independence, and boundary-setting, individuals can start making informed decisions toward better well-being.
In this episode, you will hear:
Exploring the connection between attachment styles, addiction, and relationship patterns.
Challenges faced by accomplished women in mismatched relationships due to early attachment disruptions.
The role of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in creating relational dysfunction.
Understanding addiction as an escape from unmet emotional needs and the importance of recovery.
Practical advice for women in unhealthy relationships, focusing on self-care and financial independence.
Navigating challenging relationships with compassion, self-protection, and setting boundaries.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night, replaying that moment when you said "yes" but every fiber of your being was screaming "no"? In this transformative episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into one of recovery's most overlooked yet crucial components: setting healthy boundaries.
They explore why boundaries aren't walls that keep people out, but rather fences that let the right things in. The hosts break down common misconceptions about boundaries, explaining why they're not selfish acts but essential tools for self-respect and healing. Through practical examples and clear guidance, they show how proper boundaries can actually lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships while protecting your recovery journey.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is its practical approach. The hosts provide a step-by-step guide to setting and maintaining boundaries, from starting small to handling pushback. They emphasize that while setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, especially for those who haven't seen them modeled in their lives, they're skills that can be learned and improved over time.
Download: Setting Healthy Boundaries Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in de
KEY TOPICS
• What boundaries are and aren't: dispelling common myths
• The connection between boundaries and successful recovery
• How boundaries foster deeper intimacy rather than prevent it
• Practical steps to start setting healthy boundaries
• The importance of consistency and self-compassion in boundary setting
TIMESTAMPS
[00:00:00] - Introduction and importance of boundaries in recovery
[00:06:00] - Understanding what boundaries are not
[00:09:43] - How boundaries protect sobriety and emotional wellbeing
[00:11:27] - Practical steps to setting boundaries
[00:13:58] - Step-by-step example of enforcing boundaries
[00:17:12] - Community support and resources for boundary setting
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Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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Depression sucks and it’s such a hard place to be. On the other hand, addiction used to be framed as this lack of moral character or willpower, and addiction, too, is a very hard place to be. But there's hope.
On this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks with Ben Spielberg, the founder and CEO of TMS & Brain Health clinics. Ben is a specialist in neuroscience, neuromodulation, and neuroimaging. Today, Ben is going to talk about TMS or transcranial magnetic stimulation, and how TMS offers hope to people struggling with addiction and its underlying mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and ultimately, returning joy and passion back to their lives.
Ben started working in the field of mental health in 2010 as a biofeedback technician at a Substance Abuse and Recovery Treatment Center in Los Angeles. Part of his work was doing neurofeedback and he was just fascinated at how it impacted people, becoming more resilient to stressors without involving any medication or intervention.
Eventually, Ben got a master's degree in neuroscience at Columbia with the hope to specialize in the overarching field called neuromodulation, which refers to evidence-based, nonpharmaceutical ways to create real changes in the brain.
With neurofeedback, all people need to do is to show up. It doesn't really matter what you’re thinking about. Your brain is picking up on the signals regardless. Listen in as Ben sheds some light on how TMS targets and activates specific areas of the brain that help reduce depression, anxiety, and all other underlying issues that lead to addiction.
In this episode, you will hear:
Ben’s experience in neurofeedback and neuromodulation
The concept of neuroplasticity
What is TMS and how does it work?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy vs. TMS
Types of issues TMS can treat
The role of ADHD in addiction
The history of TMS
Key Quotes:
[05:54] - "With neurofeedback, all you have to do is show up. It doesn't really matter what you think about. Your brain is picking up on the signals regardless."
[09:53] - "There's a part of the brain called the left dorsolateral prefrontal cortex... it's the left top side of your head and that area has been shown to be underactive in people with depression."
[10:35] - "When people do TMS typically five days a week, week by week, the symptoms of depression start to go away, just as this other part of the brain starts to come back online."
[12:55] - "Cognitive behavioral therapy is definitely an evidence-based treatment for depression. But when it's not working, there's nowhere to go unless you're actually creating real changes in the brain."
[15:37] - "People with ADHD are much more likely to be addicted than a neurotypical person… as well as way more likely to be incarcerated and a really a number of issues in life."
[17:26] - "ADHD is an issue of sustained focus, whereas normally, people have the ability to continue focusing on things when they want to, and they're not necessarily bothered by any external or internal stimulus."
[29:41] - "Addiction is really just a symptom of some other underlying mental health diagnosis."
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If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.
Supporting Resources:
TMS & Brain Health Clinics
https://www.tmsbrainhealth.com/
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Do you want to improve your emotional regulation and decision-making? I will be sharing the key to achieving greater emotional control and better choices. Learn the secret to enhancing your ability to manage your feelings and make sound decisions. Discover the solution to experiencing improved emotional regulation and better decision-making in your life.
Download the “Distinguishing between Primary Vs. Secondary Emotions Worksheet”
In this episode, you will be able to:
Discover effective strategies for mental health and addiction recovery.
Learn to identify and manage primary and secondary emotions.
Explore the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for emotional regulation.
Cultivate mindfulness and self-reflection for improved emotional well-being.
Understand the impact of trauma on decision-making processes.
Effective Mental Health Strategies
Understanding and managing primary and secondary emotions are crucial strategies for effective mental health. These strategies involve recognizing the differences between valid and genuine emotional responses versus responses that arise from judgments of these primary emotions. This enables individuals to maintain emotional balance by preventing secondary emotions from amplifying the intensity of primary emotions.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
Download the worksheet that helps identify primary versus secondary emotions and navigate them effectively. Click Here
Share this podcast episode with a friend who might benefit from the wisdom shared about primary and secondary emotions.
Write a review for The Addicted Mind podcast on iTunes to show support and help others discover valuable content.
Connect with The Addicted Mind podcast on Instagram @addictedmindpodcast and leave suggestions for topics you'd like to hear in future episodes.
Leave us a message and let us know what topic you want to be covered on The Addicted Mind + Podcast. Click Here https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
Download the “Distinguishing between Primary Vs. Secondary Emotions Worksheet”
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Former advertising executive Pao Ortega once found herself trapped in a seemingly perfect life in New York City, at odds with the inner chaos of depression, anxiety, and burnout. During a pivotal moment of introspection, she made the courageous decision to face these challenges head-on. In our latest episode of the Addicted Mind Podcast, we explore Pao's enlightening transformation journey, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and kindness. Through her story, we uncover the profound impact of becoming a student of one's own body and mind, and how integrating practices from around the globe can foster healing and empowerment.
Our conversation delves into the powerful world of breathwork, highlighting the influence of ancient techniques like pranayama, qigong, and Shakti Nam in fostering relaxation and healing. Pao and I discuss how these practices can shift energy, create positive feedback loops, and guide individuals toward personal empowerment and wellness. The journey from internal struggle to self-healing underscores the possibility of overcoming prolonged suffering with persistence, consistency, and the right tools.
We also address the importance of creating a morning routine that sets the tone for a successful day. Pao shares insights into how endorphin-inspired activities, like her passion for running, contribute to well-being and happiness.
In this episode, you will hear:
Pao Ortega's transformation from burnout to empowerment through breathwork and mind-body techniques
Exploration of ancient practices like pranayama, qigong, and Shakti Nam for relaxation and healing
Importance of self-awareness, persistence, and the right tools in overcoming mental health challenges
Crafting a personalized blend of practices for emotional, mental, and physical healing
Significance of mindset, movement, and nutrition in achieving personal wellness
Creating a morning routine and incorporating endorphin-boosting activities for well-being
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Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Ever felt like feedback in your recovery journey hits you like a punch to the gut? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into why criticism can feel so painful during recovery and share game-changing strategies to transform those tough moments into opportunities for growth. Drawing from cutting-edge research in neuroscience and psychology, they explain how our early life experiences shape our sensitivity to criticism and why some people struggle more than others with feedback. But here's the good news: by adopting what scientists call a "growth mindset," you can learn to receive feedback differently and use it to strengthen your recovery journey. The brothers share practical, easy-to-implement strategies that can help you shift from feeling defensive and ashamed to seeing criticism as valuable feedback for your growth. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers essential tools for turning difficult feedback into stepping stones toward lasting change.
Download: Growth Mindset Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.
KEY TOPICS
Understanding why criticism hits harder for some people
The connection between early childhood experiences and sensitivity to criticism
How the brain's stress response system affects our reaction to feedback
Dr. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset
Three practical strategies for developing a growth mindset
The role of criticism in sustainable recovery
Practical tools and worksheets for implementing these strategies
TIMESTAMPS
[00:01:07] Introduction to criticism's impact on recovery
[00:02:45] Understanding sensitivity to criticism through attachment theory
[00:06:00] Introduction to growth mindset concept
[00:08:00] Real-world examples of criticism in recovery
[00:11:11] Three practical strategies for developing growth mindset
[00:13:21] Practicing affirming statements
[00:14:57] Resources and community support information
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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In this episode of the Addicted Mind Podcast, listeners are introduced to Arlina Allen, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, who shares her profound journey from addiction to recovery. At a pivotal moment during a Giants game in Oakland, Arlina recognized the unyielding grip of addiction and the cycle of shame it perpetuates. Drawing from her new book, "The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics: Clearing Up Common Misconceptions of a Path to Sobriety," Arlina offers insights into the intricate process of recovery. Through personal anecdotes, she explores the influence of childhood experiences on addictive behaviors and emphasizes the importance of addressing root causes to break free from harmful patterns.
The episode delves into the concept of the cybernetic loop in behavioral psychology, highlighting how negative experiences reinforce damaging beliefs. Arlina's journey is enriched by her exploration of self-discovery and spirituality, offering a refreshing perspective on recovery.
In this episode, you will hear:
Arlina Allen's journey from addiction to recovery, highlighting personal experiences and family dynamics.
Insights from Arlina's book, "The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics," addressing misconceptions about sobriety.
The role of childhood trauma and family influences in shaping addictive behaviors.
Exploration of the cybernetic loop in behavioral psychology and its impact on reinforcing negative beliefs.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory and navigating internal resistance in healing.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
https://odaatchat.com/
https://www.soberlifeschool.com/
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Ever wonder why two people can experience the exact same event but walk away with completely different emotions?
In this fascinating episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the science of optimism and reveal how our attention shapes our reality. They explain that optimism isn't about ignoring negative experiences or forcing positivity – it's about training our brain to process both positive and negative information in a balanced way.
Through practical examples and evidence-based strategies, they show listeners how to break free from negative thought spirals and develop genuine optimistic thinking. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just want to build more resilience, this episode offers simple yet powerful tools to help you unlock your inner optimist and transform how you experience life's challenges.
Download: Unlocking Your Inner Optimist Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.
Key Topics
The difference between toxic positivity and genuine optimism
How attention bias affects our experience of events
The science behind optimistic versus pessimistic thinking
Three evidence-based strategies for developing optimism
The role of physical movement in changing perspective
How optimism builds resilience and creativity
Practical daily exercises for training your brain
Timestamps
[00:01:27] The power of perspective: Same event, different experiences
[00:03:42] The science behind attention and optimism
[00:05:19] Why this isn't toxic positivity
[00:09:30] Introduction to practical strategies
[00:09:54] The two-chair technique explained
[00:11:28] The daily spotlight exercise
[00:13:02] The reframe challenge technique
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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Renowned behavioral neuroscientist Judy Grisel joins us for an eye-opening conversation on addiction and recovery. Judy shares her compelling journey from grappling with substance abuse as a young teenager to becoming a leading expert in addiction neuroscience. Her book, "Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction," seamlessly intertwines her personal experiences with scientific insights, offering a nuanced understanding of how addictive personalities can harbor hidden potential.
We examine the shortcomings of punitive measures in addressing substance abuse, advocating instead for the power of positive incentives in recovery. Through vivid stories, we illustrate how individuals transform their addictive tendencies into remarkable achievements and societal contributions. By focusing on the enrichment that comes with sober living, we emphasize the importance of novelty and excitement as vital components in breaking free from addiction's grip and building meaningful lives.
In this episode, you will hear:
Judy Grisel's journey from substance abuse to becoming a renowned neuroscientist.
Exploration of her book "Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction."
The inefficacy of punitive measures and the benefits of positive incentives in recovery.
The role of adolescent identity development in addiction vulnerability.
Discussion of gender differences in stress sensitivity and addiction.
The impact of novelty-seeking and dopamine on addictive behaviors.
Strategies for building a meaningful life beyond addiction.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
https://www.bucknell.edu/fac-staff/judy-grisel
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
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Have you ever noticed that after a slip in recovery, your thoughts immediately jump to "I'm worthless" or "I'm never going to get better"? These aren't just random negative thoughts – they're part of a powerful emotion that might be secretly sabotaging your recovery journey. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the crucial difference between guilt and shame in addiction recovery. Through evidence-based research and practical experience, they reveal why many people mistakenly identify their shame as guilt, and how this misunderstanding can keep them trapped in the addiction cycle. The hosts share three powerful, scientifically-backed tools that listeners can start using immediately to build shame resilience and strengthen their recovery journey. Whether you're in recovery yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers essential insights into breaking free from the destructive grip of shame while building a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
Download: Shame Sabotaging Your Recovery Worksheet
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.
KEY TOPICS
The critical difference between guilt ("I made a mistake") and shame ("I am a mistake")
How toxic shame fuels the addiction cycle
Research findings on shame's direct link to substance use problems
The importance of shame resilience in recovery
Three easy tools for breaking the shame spiral
The role of connection and community in overcoming shame
Practical language shifts for transforming shame into growth
TIMESTAMPS
[00:01:20] Introduction to shame's impact on recovery
[00:02:31] Research findings on shame vs. guilt in addiction
[00:04:00] How toxic shame creates a negative cycle
[00:08:14] First tool: The Language Shift technique
[00:09:40] Second tool: The Shame Interrupt method
[00:11:00] Third tool: The Connection Practice
[00:13:40] Community resources and next steps
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Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
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On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Dr. Karol Darsa about how to recognize trauma as well as some of the first steps you need to take to deal with trauma. Karol is the author of the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. She dives deep into how trauma impacts us in our everyday life as well as what we can do to deal with our traumatic histories so we can heal and feel better.
If you have struggled with some trauma in your past, hopefully you will get a lot of insights from this episode as Karol shares her professional wisdom on recovering from trauma. A licensed psychologist for 23 years, Karol found herself repeating certain information over and over again. She realized what was really missing in a lot of people's minds was the understanding of what trauma is and what it does. Maybe they knew what trauma was but didn't understand that it could impact them to the degree that it was impacting them.
Many people think trauma only applies to people who have been to war or were sexually abused. They don't consider other things to be trauma. However, trauma can also result from smaller incidents when people didn't even realize they felt traumatized.
Hoping to explain the basics of trauma and how it works, Karol decided to write the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. Karol also noticed an overarching characteristic of self-blame among her clients who were dealing with trauma. They were quick to judge themselves much more than they should. Therefore, Karol also wrote the book as a great tool for minimizing self-blame.
In this episode, you will hear:
What trauma is
What the different types of trauma could look like
Why the power of positive thinking sometimes backfires for people
Recognizing relational trauma
How trauma causes you to disconnect from your body
Why people find it difficult to face painful situations
Dismissing your feelings means a lack of self-acceptance
How to eliminate self-blame
Key Quotes:
[03:49] - “What was really missing in a lot of people's minds is really the understanding of what trauma is, and what it does.”
[04:57] - “The power of the positive thinking, sometimes that actually backfires for a lot of people.”
[05:56] - “Many people think trauma means if you been to war, or maybe if you were sexually abused, but other than that, people don't consider other things as trauma.”
[06:31] - “Trauma is a situation where it's so overwhelming that it makes you feel powerless, basically unable to cope.”
[07:13] - “The most common trauma that people minimize is relational trauma.”
[09:30] - "In the relational traumas, reactions don't function that way. People have to be able to look at their symptoms and recognize it."
[13:50] - "We have a limited capacity to actually face painful situations. As human beings, we all are that way."
[17:17] - "One of the problems of dismissing feelings or putting things away or dismissing our body is that we are ultimately not accepting who we are."
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.
Supporting Resources:
The Trauma Map
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience.
Download: From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet.
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.
Key Topics
The difference between self-compassion and self-excuse
Research evidence supporting self-compassion in recovery
How shame fuels addiction cycles
Practical steps to develop self-compassion
The role of community support in building self-compassion
Connection between self-compassion and accountability
Tools for identifying and transforming your inner critic
Key Timestamps
[00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves
[00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame
[00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research
[00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses
[00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion
[00:11:36] The importance of common humanity
[00:14:31] Different timelines for change
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Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, you are invited into the world of Rob Crowl and his mother, Katie Davis, as they delve into their experiences with addiction and recovery. Rob, an educator and writer, discusses his memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me," which chronicles his tumultuous upbringing in a household affected by addiction. Katie, who has celebrated 27 years of sobriety, shares her perspective on the transformative power of love and storytelling in overcoming intergenerational trauma.
Throughout the episode, Rob and Katie candidly explore the complexities of their family dynamics, highlighting the cycles of addiction and recovery that have shaped their lives. They discuss the courage it takes to confront painful truths and the role writing has played in their healing journey. Listeners are given a glimpse into the profound impact of addiction on family relationships, particularly the enduring bond between Katie and her children, which serves as a beacon of resilience and compassion.
In this episode, you will hear:
Rob Crowl and his mother Katie Davis share their journey through addiction and recovery.
Discussion of Rob's memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me" and its exploration of family dynamics shaped by addiction.
The healing power of writing and storytelling in addressing intergenerational trauma.
Challenges of confronting personal trauma and the transformative role of love and family support.
Reflections on the cycles of addiction and the struggle for redemption and acceptance.
Exploration of themes of rescue and the complex desire for both liberation and connection.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Ever wonder why showing your true self feels so terrifying, yet could be the very key to your healing? In this powerful episode, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how embracing vulnerability, despite its discomfort, can become your greatest strength in recovery. Drawing from both research and real-world experience, they break down why many of us hide behind masks and how this actually hinders our healing journey.
The hosts share practical strategies for safely opening up to others and building authentic connections, backed by insights from Dr. Brené Brown's groundbreaking research on shame and vulnerability. Whether you're struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health challenges, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming vulnerability from a perceived weakness into a powerful tool for recovery and personal growth.
Download: Vulnerability Transforms Recovery Worksheet.
Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.
Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.
Key Topics
The connection between vulnerability and authentic healing
Why we resist being vulnerable and its impact on recovery
Research evidence supporting vulnerability in recovery
The myth of "fixing yourself" before seeking help
Five practical steps to practice healthy vulnerability
Finding safe spaces and people for sharing
Managing intimacy backlash and self-compassion
Timestamps
[00:01:16] Understanding masks and hiding in recovery
[00:03:45] The role of shame in avoiding vulnerability
[00:07:09] Research insights on vulnerability as strength
[00:11:42] Five practical steps to develop vulnerability
[00:13:43] The importance of self-compassion
[00:15:18] Managing intimacy backlash
[00:16:31] Resources and community support
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
Disclaimer
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Nicole Doering, once a model with a psychology background, found herself battling alcohol addiction later in life after personal upheavals. Her story begins with a sobering reflection on how unexpected life events, like a family health crisis and divorce, can lead to such challenges. Nicole's candidness about her 17-month sobriety journey is a testament to resilience and underscores the crucial role of evidence-based treatment. Nicole's atheism adds a unique dimension to her recovery approach, steering away from traditional narratives and focusing on the science of the brain.
Navigating addiction requires understanding it as a complex brain disease rather than a simple moral failing. Nicole sheds light on how medical-assisted therapies, like the Vivitrol shot, are underutilized yet vital for treating addiction. This episode breaks down the science behind addiction, explaining how it hijacks the brain's reward pathways, creating chronic dopamine imbalances. We explore how these imbalances affect memory and behavior, leading to persistent attentional biases. By rethinking addiction treatment beyond just willpower, Nicole's insights advocate for a more scientifically grounded understanding of recovery.
In this episode, you will hear:
Nicole Doering's unconventional recovery journey from alcohol addiction, emphasizing atheism and science-driven approaches.
Personal challenges, including a family health crisis and divorce, leading to late-onset addiction.
Importance of evidence-based and medically assisted treatments, such as the Vivitrol shot.
Understanding addiction as a complex brain disease rather than a moral failing.
Exploring alternative recovery methods like SMART Recovery for those struggling with traditional approaches.
The role of brain chemistry and the impact of addiction on memory and behavior.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Imagine feeling so alone that you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror. For many battling addiction, this isn't just imagination—it's their daily reality. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the powerful connection between shame, isolation, and addiction. They explore how these forces work together to keep people stuck in a cycle of pain and substance abuse.
But there's hope! The hosts reveal that the simple act of connecting with others can be a game-changer in recovery. They discuss how shame, while once useful for keeping early humans in line with their tribes, can become toxic when it fuses with our sense of self. This toxic shame often leads to isolation, which in turn fuels addiction.
Duane and Eric highlight the importance of finding safe, supportive communities where people can experience "corrective experiences." These are moments where individuals can feel shame in a safe environment, allowing them to change their relationship with this powerful emotion over time. The hosts draw parallels to the famous "Rat Park" study, which showed how social connection could significantly reduce substance abuse in rats.
The episode emphasizes that recovery isn't just about staying sober—it's about connection. Duane and Eric stress the need for both compassion and accountability in supportive communities. They also introduce their new Addicted Mind community, inviting listeners to join and be part of building something meaningful.
Whether you're struggling with addiction yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights into the role of shame and the healing power of community in the recovery process.
Join Our Community!
https://the-addicted-mind-plus.mn.co
Key Topics
The relationship between shame, isolation, and addiction
Understanding healthy vs. toxic shame
The importance of connection in recovery
Creating safe spaces for "corrective experiences"
The "Rat Park" study and its implications for human addiction
Building supportive communities with both compassion and accountability
Introduction to the Addicted Mind community
Timestamps
0:00 - Introduction and announcement of new community
2:33 - Explaining the connection between shame, isolation, and addiction
7:15 - Discussion of the "Rat Park" study and its relevance to human addiction
10:45 - How to break the chains of isolation and shame
13:40 - The importance of community in healing and recovery
15:47 - Practical skills for dealing with shame
16:53 - Invitation to join the Addicted Mind community
Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center
NovusMindfulLife.com
We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind
Disclaimer
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Mark Rosman never imagined that his storytelling journey would include a chapter about his family's battle with addiction. Known for directing charming family favorites like "A Cinderella Story" and "Life Size," Mark opens up about the unexpected struggle with his daughter's substance use disorder. This episode offers a heartfelt exploration of the fears and revelations that came with facing addiction head-on. Mark candidly shares the initial denial and the painful yet healing journey through therapeutic schools and rehab facilities, bringing to light the critical and often overlooked role families play in recovery.
Our conversation unravels the profound shift that occurred when the focus broadened beyond just the individual battling addiction. Mark recounts a pivotal moment with a therapist who challenged the entire family to engage in self-reflection and embrace change. This perspective shift was instrumental in their transformation, prompting a journey of self-discovery and boundary-setting that taught them the importance of prioritizing their own emotional health. The narrative underscores the tumultuous yet rewarding path of learning to maintain one's well-being while supporting a loved one through addiction.
Mark's experience doesn't just end with personal growth; it fuels his creative endeavors. He's channeling these experiences into a film project that brings his family's story to the screen, with hopes of illuminating the complexities of addiction and recovery for others. As Mark shares, the film is not just about addiction; it's about resilience, hope, and the power of storytelling to foster understanding and healing. This episode is not just a glimpse into a family's journey through addiction; it's a message of hope and heart, aiming to inspire and support families navigating similar challenges.
In this episode, you will hear:
The critical role of family involvement in addiction recovery.
The shift from denial to acceptance and self-discovery within the family.
The emotional journey of parents through support groups like Al-Anon/
Mark's film project inspired by his family's experience, focusing on the family's perspective.
The importance of storytelling in fostering understanding and healing.
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
keepcomingbackfilm.com
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices - Montre plus
