Episodes
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Have you ever loved the idea of what someone *could* be, more than the person that they actually are? There’s danger in falling in love with someone’s potential. Some people are happy to be challenged by their partners, but there’s a fine line between challenging them to reach their dreams and setting expectations that your partner can’t reach, or never wanted in the first place. You’ll find a lot more peace in letting your partner tell you who they want to be, rather than attempting to force them into being who you wish they were.
(This episode is a re-run from September 2023.)
Falling in love with someone’s potential [1:55]
Putting expectations on how your partner lives their life [3:26]
Listen to your partner’s dreams [6:15]
Can you be okay if your partner never changes? [8:55]
More acceptance leads to greater change [12:28]
We’re always changing [14:10]
You don’t have to want all of the same things [17:38]
Don’t set expectations too high [20:23]
Encouragement pushes further than shame [23:00]
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Instagram is rolling out a new feature that defaults to keeping news and political content off of our feeds, and it got us thinking, is it irresponsible to ignore current events? Unfortunately, many news sources are produced with biases, headlines are manufactured to outrage rather than inform, and falsified information is getting harder and harder to differentiate from what’s “real.” And not only that, but after years of getting everything from social media algorithms, we’re all primed to see and hear things we already agree with. Maybe it’s just us, but the “news” doesn’t feel like the news anymore. Is it just us?
The “news” isn’t the news anymore [3:10]
Manufactured outrage [6:12]
People look for things we agree with [7:59]
Stories can spiral out of control [11:46]
We need stronger critical thinking skills [14:38]
There’s just “too much” to keep up with [19:29]
Voting without keeping up with current events [22:44]
Borrowed information [24:35]
How do we know what’s true and what’s real? [27:11]
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Episodes manquant?
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No one goes in to a marriage hoping that it’ll fail, but statistics don’t lie, and around half of all marriages end in divorce. With those odds, wouldn’t you want to be protected? Conversations around money and obligation can be uncomfortable, but they’re so important to have before long-term commitment. Once upon a time, we never understood the need for prenups, but life is complicated and shit happens. It’s better to plan for the worst and hope for the best, than to ignore the possibility that things could go wrong and be caught unaware when they do.
Family time, only 28 years belated [2:08]
Procrastinating wedding planning [10:12]
Pre-marriage money questions [14:47]
A prenup protects both parties [19:09]
Resentment can build without these conversations [22:28]
Marriage gets so much more complicated with age [27:18]
Prenups can be as individual as the marriage [29:43]
When it’s in writing, everybody knows [32:58]
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Never say never on the internet because if you make a public claim about one thing and then eventually change your mind, someone out there named Susan is going to be VERY mad at you. (No offense to all the Susans out there, we’re sure most of you are normal.) When people follow you for one opinion you hold or attribute you have, it can be hard to come to terms with any life changes you make—especially if you’ve built a business on said attribute or opinion. We have enough life experience now to know that the second we decide how we feel about something, we inevitably change our minds. Maybe the only way to get around it all is just acknowledging that we don’t know anything, ever. This way, we don’t have to upset Susan.
The best decade of our lives [2:58]
What the hell is going on with men? [7:08]
Random and inappropriate DM’s [10:35]
Dating via Facebook Marketplace [14:52]
Never say never (or else the internet will hate you) [16:30]
Allow space for yourself to evolve [18:07]
Your life circumstances will change too [21:18]
Make new choices with new information [26:25]
Honesty is the best policy [27:56]
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The world might be run by assholes and idiots, but that doesn’t make us powerless! Y’all, this is the Best Life, and living the Best Life means realizing that even in the worst situations, we still have influence over our own lives. So yeah, the world is run by assholes and idiots, but that’s nothing new. And since we can’t get rid of the assholes and idiots, it’s up to us to make a positive impact within our circles. We'll keep making the world less shitty, one step at a time.
A he-said, she-said sticky situation [3:13]
Mike Tyson’s wild life [4:51]
We all have power over our own sphere [7:22]
Idiots are everywhere [10:16]
Don’t underestimate your own impact [13:23]
The solution is for all of us to be our most evolved selves [15:46]
Discernment in the digital age [18:05]
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Sometimes it feels like we’re in all-out gender warfare, where women are putting in work to heal themselves while men dig their heels into their old, problematic ways. You don’t have to tell us, we know it’s not ALL men, but there’s a lot of data showing that women are outpacing men in almost all growth metrics, including intellectual and personal. We don’t know why men are more resistant to change, but we don’t feel like we’re asking too much. No one needs to be perfect and “healed” from all of their traumas, all we want is a man who is willing to grow as we go.
If you act more in love, you’ll feel more in love [2:54]
Gaslight yourself through life [4:21]
Are we in a gender war? [5:33]
Waiting for men to step up [6:47]
Do men even do personal development? [10:31]
Why change if there’s no reason to? [12:41]
Men and women deal with our feelings differently [15:02]
You don’t need to be perfect, just open to growing [19:19]
The stages of personal development [22:43]
Appreciating your partner for who they are [25:54]
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We’re back and chatting about our new favorite subject—ChatGPT. Danny-J is an outspoken ChatGPT lover—it’s her nutrition coach, therapist, best friend, travel agent, personal assistant, and potentially the love of her life—but not everyone feels the same. But whether you love it or hate it, it’d be a mistake to pretend like it doesn’t exist. No one is going to force you to use generative AI, but plenty of coaches are starting to try it out, and we need to make sure we’re doing our part to stay relevant and valuable.
Jill doesn’t “get” ChatGPT [2:12]
You need to use the right prompts [3:33]
Use it as a tool, but don’t let it replace you [6:32]
It seems lazy, but is it illegal? [9:54]
The communication of the future [12:27]
All of the content sounds the same [14:49]
We can’t pretend this thing doesn’t exist [17:42]
So many people don’t even know these tools exist [21:30]
How much time is Danny-J spending on ChatGPT? [24:43]
Views are up, but follower accounts are down [26:33]
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We can’t fight the fact that we’re getting older, so we might as well fight the urge to hate our bodies. Nobody (and no body, for that matter) looks hot every moment of the day. Even the sexiest people alive have insecurities or unflattering angles, so why bother hating the less-than-perfect parts of ourselves? The people that love us don’t care about what we look like and honestly, attractiveness comes down to confidence more than anything. There’s always going to be societal pressure on the way we look, so we’re opting out of adding on to that noise and judgement.
Can we just ignore our flaws? [2:11]
Don’t let your negative thoughts hold you back [4:09]
No body looks perfect 100% of the time [6:48]
Your loved ones don’t care about your insecurities [9:43]
Are men aging better than women? [12:12]
Confidence has nothing to do with how you look [14:57]
The constant mental gymnastics of your 20s [18:44]
You don’t need anyone else to look (and feel) good [19:50]
Look for things you love about yourself [22:13]
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Is ChatGPT taking over the world? Is it making us dumber? Less social? Is it ruining our critical thinking? Nope! At least for us, AI programs like ChatGPT have been a powerful tool we’ve used to enhance and simplify our lives, and it’s certainly not a crutch. Being scared of the implications of AI makes sense, but ChatGPT isn’t a replacement for human interaction. If you use it well, it can make your life better than you ever imagined.
Is ChatGPT brainwashing us? [2:15]
ChatGPT is made to be kind to us [5:46]
A therapist-meets-bestie [7:55]
Travel and event-planning [10:19]
A personal health tracker [13:00]
Your personal writing editor [15:25]
Life-transition doula [17:21]
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Katy Perry went to space, and women everywhere rejoiced. Except that didn’t actually happened. Well, Katy Perry DID go to “space” but the rest of us were pretty unimpressed. There’s a lot of talk about what rich people should and shouldn’t do with their money, and while you’ll never hear us telling anyone how to spend their cash, whenever a celebrity does a stunt like this, it makes you wonder why, and what better things they could be doing with their seemingly unlimited wealth. Whether you think billionaires should be doing more or not, we think all of us can agree on one thing: this space mission was a little cringe.
Katy Perry went to space [1:00]
Is anyone actually feeling empowered? [3:02]
It’s violently out of touch [5:53]
Why do you get to tell people how to spend their money? [8:23]
Money is meaningless to these people [12:01]
We have no idea what anyone is doing with their money [16:46]
What’s the threshold for wealth before giving back? [18:32]
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Getting older is already enough of a mind-fuck, and now Danny has to start adding dating back into the mix? Are you fucking serious? We thought dating in our mid-30’s was bad, but now it seems so much worse. People are lying about their ages left and right, men we don’t even know judge us on if we’re “fuckable” enough (like we even asked them), dating apps are full of meaningless connections, but looking for men who spend their time online is a brand-new ick we didn’t know we had. Dating has never been easy—well, except for when we were 20, but does that even count?—and this time, Danny plans to sit in alone in her house and if someone wants to date her, he’ll have to do all the work to find her.
A new nose and a new Instagram account [1:11]
Going no-contact after a break up [5:03]
Raw-dogging grief [7:36]
Lying about your age in dating [11:12]
We’re either “fuckable” or “too old” [15:36]
Is age the only thing that matters? [18:51]
Men on Instagram is kind of an ick [20:48]
Dating feels so arbitrary now [26:43]
We just keep getting older (and we hate it) [28:42]
There’s power in owning your age [33:06]
Let people know you’re ready to date [35:03]
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The person you decide to build a life with is one of the most important decisions you can make, but also… Sometimes the person you once knew (or even the person you once were) changes unexpectedly. There are things we know now that we never could have predicted in our 20s and were getting married. When we picked our ex-husbands, we really thought we made the right choice, but shit happens and shit changes. Even with all the planning and foresight in the world, you can never predict how things will change, and putting pressure on marriages to be either perfect decisions or failures helps no one. Life changes all of us—sometimes for the better, but not always. Maybe that means picking an imperfect partner or ending a relationship we thought would last forever. All we can do is our best.
A 911 call [1:05]
Last minute surgeries [10:13]
Anyone can change, at any given time [14:17]
Life throws curveballs all the time [17:22]
Are you willing to work together through the hard parts? [22:04]
Your “perfect match” may never exist [25:20]
You don’t know what you don’t know [28:15]
Life changes all of us [32:58]
All we can do is our best [36:08]
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When you’ve travelled as much as we have, and worked from home for as long as we have, building an in-person community is harder than it looks. We have so many deep friendships that we love and cherish, but those people we love are often states away. That’s all well and good, except for the times when you’re in need, and you need the support of a community. It’s something we’ve taken for granted before, but as our lives change more and more, community is something we’re really craving. We’ll always love our online communities and our long-distance friendships, but we need our in-person communities too.
Missing out on community [3:42]
Is community easier to build with kids? [7:38]
Saying yes to every invite [11:11]
Some neighborhoods are friendlier than others [13:43]
Your community doesn’t need to be your BFFs [14:43]
Different levels of connection [17:59]
Are we just introverts? [20:37]
Relying only on your partner is a slippery slope [24:19]
It’s more important than we thought [27:30]
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What makes a good friend? Is it someone with lots of wealth, power, or status? Someone who can connect you with important people? Kind of sounds like a business colleague or mentor to us. When we think of the best friends we have, none of those qualities is at the top of the list. Friendships that are meaningful and lasting aren’t transactional. So, some people think that friends that are too busy to see you are “better,” but we think that’s bullshit.
Lashes and Love is Blind [1:45]
Moving somewhere new [6:03]
A trip to and in Peru [11:53]
Where the fuck is Costa Rica? [15:30]
Are busy friends “better” friends? [16:31]
What “better” really means [17:42]
True friendship isn’t transactional [21:09]
Who are your close friends? [23:32]
Cultivating friendships [24:51]
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Have you ever had someone (usually an internet marketer trying to sell you something) tell you to “build a life you don’t need a vacation from”? It’s a nice little sound bite, but it’s not always practical advice. Once upon a time, we would have eaten that shit up, but now we don’t see why you can’t love your job AND need a vacation every now and then. Your job doesn’t need to be your whole life! Of course, you should never force yourself to do things you hate, but loving every moment doesn’t feel necessary.
A nice sentiment, but not always practical [1:01]
Your job doesn’t have to be your whole life [2:54]
We can take breaks from things we love [5:37]
Tuning out of work can be fun [7:26]
Don’t do shit you hate [9:41]
Find other ways to love your life [11:03]
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If men cared about their relationships with women, it would make sense to listen to what women have to say, right? Yeah, we know, sounds unrealistic. Mens work is important, but in this culture we live in, very few men listen to or even care about what women have to say. But we can’t force anyone to hear us and we certainly can’t force men to care—only other men seem to be able to do that. We’re hopeful for the future, but in the mean time, it would really be helpful if everyone just started going to therapy. No, really.
Men should be learning from women [2:14]
People don’t listen to women’s expertise [3:25]
A cultural scapegoat [7:15]
How do we get men to care? [10:06]
We need a middle-ground option [12:11]
Just go to therapy [16:12]
Does therapy still have a stigma? [18:28]
We can’t force people to care [22:01]
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Jill is newly and happily engaged, but her relationship hasn’t always been perfect. When it came time to decide to break-up or take the next step in the relationship, Jill and Keith made the choice to start working on building something even better than before. Today, Jill is sharing the 4 main changes she and Keith have been practicing that have made their relationship deeper. It takes some practice and might seem counterintuitive, but when you act in love, you feel more in love, and isn’t more love always better?
A history of over and under communicating [1:48]
Doing things differently [4:04]
Check in with each other weekly [6:35]
Maintenance therapy [10:38]
Monthly date night is a priority [12:58]
Be grateful for the little things [17:07]
Don’t forget to leave us a review and subscribe so you never have to miss an episode! Comments and questions can also be sent to [email protected], and you can head to thebestlifepodcast.com to join our Facebook Group.
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Sometimes we’d like to wave a magic wand and be miraculously healed from all our traumas and pain. Unfortunately for us (and you) we live in the real world where our pains demand to be felt and there’s not much we can do but to wait it out. There is one bright spot: just like in business growth, change happens gradually… gradually… gradually… and then all at once! So maybe we can’t wave a magic wand to get rid of all of our pains and be healed suddenly, but we can show up daily and keep trying new things until—all of a sudden—we feel better. Healing is possible if you keep looking for it.
What the fuck is “healing work”? [1:23]
Gradually, gradually, gradually, suddenly [6:34]
Healing binge eating disorder [7:58]
You can’t predict the snowflake that will break the branch [15:19]
Keep going til you find what works [17:00]
This shit takes time [20:50]
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We’ve finally arrived at “mid-life” and if there were ever a time to have a crisis, it’s now. It’s easy to get swept up in the fast pace of our lives and forget to ask ourselves what we really want, but there’s a lot of courage in knowing exactly what you want and being willing to ask for it. Nothing in life is guaranteed—not even life itself—so let’s enjoy it which we can, right Bestie?
Wanting a Big Life [1:33]
Have the courage to know what you want [4:36]
Getting ahead of a mid life crisis [7:55]
Are you having regular check-ins on what you want? [10:30]
Tools you can use to facilitate conversations [14:35]
Life can change in an instant [16:52]
Everyone is running their own race [19:40]
Don’t forget to leave us a review and subscribe so you never have to miss an episode! Comments and questions can also be sent to [email protected], and you can head to thebestlifepodcast.com to join our Facebook Group.
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No one loves feeling like an Impostor, but there are some people who probably should feel like one. There’s utility in Impostor Syndrome—if you’re feeling it, is it possible that you actually aren’t that good yet? Do you actually struggle with your money mindset, or should you just not be charging that much for your services yet? Get a few more reps in and really start walking your walk, and then we can talk about Impostor Syndrome.
The utility in Impostor Syndrome [2:04]
Sometimes it’s not “money mindset” issue [4:07]
Are you operating out of scarcity? [7:34]
Do you walk your walk? [11:29]
You can’t have all the answers without the experience [14:33]
You get better by doing the damn thing [17:21]
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