Episodes
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It wasn’t long after my entry into “mythopoetic masculinity” back in 2015 that I came across the Minnesota Men’s Gathering, a yearly event that began in 1984 by Robert Bly, author of Iron John.
The organization has released a trove of stories & lectures on their Youtube channel from celebrated teachers such as Bly, Lewis Hyde, Martin Prechtel, Martin Shaw, Daniel Deardorff, Malidome Some and many more.
I have been tracking their yearly conference with a desire to attend - and when I heard it was the 40th anniversary, I heeded the call. I reached out and confirmed I my attendance, with the aim to produce a podcast episode afterward to share my experience.
You’re also welcome to join me at the Minnesota Men’s Conference Oct 1-6, 2024. Get full details on their website.
From the official announcement:
The conferences were built around the notion that the souls of men were atrophying in a culture that was essentially in the process of colonizing its own people and of de-animating the living world.
As an antidote to a culture of emptiness, of shallowness, and of disconnection from the web of being, men came together to work with mythic story, with images, with poetry, We placed ourselves into the mythic, into stories that contain traces of the old pathways to becoming a fully developed human being.
The work has continued for 40 years. At this conference, we will look at what has been done, where we have failed, where there have been sweet deepenings, and where the trail may lead.
In my pre-gathering podcast conversation today, I speak with conference organizers & storytellers Walton Stanley and Ben Dennis to discuss this moment of legacy and renewal.
Both guests share their experiences from the conference, noting its evolution from a focus on Jungian psychology to including broader elements like ritual and influences from indigenous wisdom. They address cultural shifts, the importance of multi-generational participation, and the necessity of a greater narrative for men in today's world.
More about my guests:
Ben Dennis is a mythologist and writer with a love of story, myth, psychology, psychodrama, and storytelling. His mythic interests include Greek mythology, Native American story, European fairy tale, and Hindu epic literature. Ben holds his PhD in Mythological Studies with an Emphasis in Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. Ben retired from the Seattle Fire Department after 28 years as a fire fighter and training coordinator for the Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) and Peer Support Team. He leads retreats for Veterans and First Responders, and has been adjunct faculty at Antioch University Seattle.
Walton Stanley is a writer and storyteller. He has held a life-long interest in myth, story, and in the power of story to transform the paradigms and frames in which we live. Walton is currently working, with Ben Dennis, on an anthology of selected tales and myths that have been shared in the past 40 years of the Minnesota Men’s Conference He has also completed a book, Following the Wrong God Home, Gilgamesh: The Foundational Myth of Civilization and the Roots of Ecological Collapse exploring th mythic roots of human exceptionalism, and our disconnection from the web of being as expressed in one of humankind’s oldest extant written stories, Gilgamesh.
I’d love to hear your comments. Please share below!
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We’re now a month out from our next cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 3 month online journey for men that weaves together mythology, somatics, ritual & brotherhood.
I invited my collaborator Deus Fortier to reflect on our initial journey which we launched earlier this year and completed in June.
At its core, The Deep Masculine seeks to repattern men's relationships with eros - the primal force of life. Drawing from the mythopoetic men's movement and texts like Robert Bly's "Iron John" and "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" by Douglas Gillette and Robert Moore, we offer a framework to help men rediscover a more intimate sense of aliveness.
In "Iron John," Bly speaks about the Wild Man, the undomesticated male energy that holds the key to a man's soul. This archetype is deeply connected to the wisdom of the earth. Reconnecting with this energy is a recurring theme in our work.
It’s important to make a critical distinction between the "wild" and "savage" man. The former is deeply attuned and rightfully placed within the natural order, while the latter is dangerously disconnected. A savage man is willing to shoot up a shopping mall out of their own self-hatred poured forth as rage against others. This understanding is pivotal in redefining what it means to rewild in a positive, life-affirming way.
Central to our inquiry is the archetype of The Lover. Modern men’s work often prizes the King and the Warrior while neglecting the Lover, whose sensitivity and emotional depth are essential for integrated masculinity.
“The Lover keeps the other masculine energies humane, loving and related to each other.” - Robert Moore & Douglas Gilette
Shadow work is also a significant part of the journey. Often, aspects of ourselves deemed unacceptable are relegated to the shadow. By integrating these parts, men can reclaim lost vitality and unlock deeper wisdom. This process includes exploring sexual shadow, addiction, and infidelity, and forging a pathway for healthier relationships.
In the words of indigenous grandmother Pat McCabe, our ultimate vision is to “realign masculinity with thriving life.” This means developing the Lover's qualities such as courtship and appreciative consciousness, and fostering solidarity among men.
If you are drawn to these themes, we invite you to apply for the next cohort beginning in late September. The application process itself is a valuable reflective journey. We’re inviting a global brotherhood to gather around this fire.
p.s. On Sept 4, I’m also hosting a free webinar An Introduction to Mythopoetic Masculinity. Open to all genders.
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Episodes manquant?
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I’ve had the good fortune to collaborate with Charles on numerous films, including Sacred Economics and The Revolution Is Love, as well as spent time at Tamera’s Love School and other gatherings.
Our conversation for the Mythic Masculine (originally released as episode #8) touches on his own interview series on the “new story of masculinity” and what he learned along the way.
The major theme, as named in the title, is the archetypal shift of seeing earth primarily as Mother to meeting her as a Lover.
This perspective is influenced by the “ecosexual movement”, as Charles writes in his essay featured in the ecosexual anthology:
If we have not received Earth’s gifts with gratitude, if we have become so used to them that we keep taking more, obliviously, perhaps we might excuse ourselves by saying that we didn’t know any better. There is a kind of innocence about the belief that Earth has no limit to what she can give. It is the innocence of a child, taking from its mother.
[…] It is clear that we are finally hitting some limits. Our childlike innocence is coming, painfully, to an end, as we face the consequences of our despoliation of the earth and the necessity of no longer taking at will.
The ecosexual awakening is a direct response to hitting these limits, the waning age of abundance and the ending of our civilization’s childlike relationship to the Earth. We face the necessity of treating Earth not as a mother – a boundless provider of all we need and want – but as a lover, with whom we give and receive in equal measure.
This perspective has particular urgency for masculinity, as modern society (based in domination culture) has abandoned proper rites of passage & mentorship for men to cultivate the skills of the archetypal Lover.
This is one reason my focus over the last year has been offering exactly this, through Awakening the Wild Erotic (AWE) and The Deep Masculine online cohort.
By gathering together as men, my collaborator Deus and I invite men to expand their understanding of Eros - the primary life force of the world - and surrender to its deep intelligence.
When attuned to a lover, we can understand their desires, longings, and pleasure pathways. We can co-create a tapestry of beauty beyond our individual efforts. And perhaps this is what Earth is waiting for…
As Charles continues in his essay:
Like it or not, resist it or not, we are already ecosexual and even cosmosexual beings. We are in life, and life is in us. We are in the universe, and the universe is in us.
Enjoy this listen. And I’d love to hear your comments & reflections below.
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A few years ago I read Terry Real’s book “Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.” He is a well established couple’s therapist and friends with a fair number of celebrities, with the forward written by Bruce Springsteen.
In one chapter he shares the story of two men, a “strikingly handsome couple” that were “killing each other (as they put it) over sex.” One man wanted it all the time, and the other virtually none of the time.He writes “as any good therapist would do, I draw from each of them not just their respective positions but also their interpretation, their narrative, of what sex means to each of them.”I asked myself the same question: what does sex mean to me?And I reflected on my previous and current relationships, and how my narrative may have shifted (or not) over time.
I released my inquiry on Instagram over five parts, which you can find (with pictures!) here: One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
And I decided to compile them all together in this post and release as a podcast episode.
It was a fascinating experience to reflect on, and may stir many things for you. But before you read on…
UPCOMING EVENTS & TRAININGS
In two weeks July 26-28 I’m holding my next in-person men’s immersion Awakening the Wild Erotic. We have four spots left, so if this calls to you: Apply Now.
In September we’re launching the next cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 12 week online archetypal exploration into the realms of eros, sex & masculinity. Men can an join from anywhere the world. Apply Here.
PART ONE
My first sexual experience with a woman was not intentional. I was 15, we were both intoxicated and she lead me into the bathroom at her friends house and proceeded before I knew what was happening. The encounter lasted seconds and I left confused and desiring to strike it from my memory.My first intentional sexual experience was with a middle school girlfriend. She was not a 'virgin' (a terrible construct fyi), and she had more experience. The encounter also lasted a short time before I ejaculated and reacted in a shame spiral that motivated me to literally leave the room, jump in my car and drive away.When I was able to calm down (or ‘auto-regulate’ as Jessica Fern details in her book Polysecure) I returned to my girlfriend's house to reconnect.Over time I began to enjoy sex, even though for the rest of my high school years it had to remain secret from our parents.The only “sex talk” I received from my father was about how many semen live in a teaspoon of sperm - and the likelihood of getting an STD (now of course, we call them STI’s). The sum total of the message being that sex would either 1) get a girl pregnant or 2) give me a disease.I don’t judge him for this, as it’s the story for so many youth. And I’m sure he received that much or even less as he crossed into puberty and his erotic life.What is the consequence of so many of us entering our sexual awakening with experiences of confusion, shame and trauma? And how might it be different?
PART TWO
At 26 I was married.Looking back it was a ludicrous decision to believe I was experienced enough to understand this massive lifelong commitment. This is a fate shared by most modern newlyweds bereft of true mentorship in love & relationships.In marriage, sex morphed into many things: the cultivation of pleasure, a way to co-regulate, and sometimes an expectation and a chore.Yet, if we went too long without sex, I would sometimes play a passive aggressive game: I would stop initiating entirely and wait to see if she would. This would show me whether she was “actually into it” and ideally show her how much I was carrying our sex life.It was easy to translate her lack of initiation or openness to my advances as rejection. Sex became more sparse and formulaic, as it often does into long term domestic relationships.Six years into the marriage, we shipwrecked on fertility challenges.This was also the time we discovered MDMA, Burning Man, orgy domes, and non-monogamy. For me, it was like landing on a remote island and living my whole life on the beach, thinking that was the entirety of the region to explore. Then suddenly discovering there was a vast archipelago of possibility that I hadn’t known existed.We began tentatively exploring the terrain.I’ll never forget when my wife kissed another man in front of me. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. It was as if some fundamental truth about love & relationships had been shattered - that it was possible for my partner and I to share intimacy with others and remain in relationship.For me, there was no turning back. Yet for my wife, I was already racing too far ahead - and it was beyond her desire to follow me to the edges I wanted to explore.Erotic agreements were bent & broken on both sides.And a year later, we separated.
PART THREE
Heartbroken at the end of my marriage, I dove head long into the erotic underworld.I had lost the dream of the life I had, and I could see no merit in playing the role of “good boy” any longer.I committed to a polyamorous partnership with a woman who was the gateway to all the fantasies I longed to explore. BDSM & kink became the playground, and I revelled in the sensual freedom it represented.Sex became a way to push the edges of sensation, boundaries & convention. We exchanged the roles of domination & submission. It was a game we played continually, within our partnership & with lovers.If she had a sexual encounter with another, I would find my own to 'balance' the scales.Occasionally when either of us felt chosen over, feelings would be hurt and we weren’t very good and speaking vulnerably to each other about this.Still, I sought the edges of my desire with unrestrained attachment to "liberation."I realize now that too often my seeking of sex became about escaping feeling.If I felt rejected by my partner, I would find a lover that would open to me to reclaim an inner validation. I could “win” over the Feminine, animated by the legacy of grief that lingered from the feeling of betrayal at the end of my marriage.I'm proud of what we did accomplish - we co-created a plethora of beauty, yet I believe I was not able to provide the ongoing secure anchor that she desired - one reason why she took on another partner during our time together.Eventually, I stepped back, realizing I needed to excavate my own unconscious patterns around sex & intimacy.Running parallel to this reality was my experience of Tamera, the radical “free love” research project in Portugal.My time there would change me utterly.
PART FOUR
In 2015, I first landed in Tamera, the radical community in Portugal, to make a film on their insights in liberating love.For almost 40 years, they have lived on the premise “there can be no peace on earth as long as there is war in love.”It was there, alongside my collaborators John Wolfstone & Julia Maryanska, that we experienced a social field unlike any other. Their members are dedicated to unearthing the generational trauma that burdens so many love relationships within modern society, and work in deep solidarity amongst the genders to regenerate trust.I learned that they consider “eros” the primal life-force of the natural world, and while humans partake in this energy through sex, this force is far vaster than such a narrow channel permits.Eros lives through the burst of molten lava from the raging mountaintop and the grace of the rain that nourishes the soil. Co-founder Sabine Lichtenfels has said “All the universe is an erotic encounter” and I began to understand her.At Tamera, they cultivate the landscape as well as the “lovescape” of their community, creating ritual spaces for the exploration of 'contact' amongst each other. They even have a Temple of Love, held by the village wise women, who mentor Temple Priests & Priestesses in the art of the sexual healing for community members.In group processes like Forum, the deepest personal challenges & insights are brought to the light of the collective, as they understand every participant does the work for the entire social organism.During my time, I was blessed with multiple experiences of releasing sexual shame & conditioning I had inherited from a society that I now recognized to be dysfunctional in the extreme.I wept an ocean of tears.I danced for hours in the sacred grove.I offered my pleasure to the luminous Goddess.And I witnessed the intelligence of eros again and again.We titled our film The Village of Lovers.The hardest part was leaving the community and attempting to live the possibility at home.
PART FIVE
There’s a saying: If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.In 2017, I made a grand declaration on Facebook that for my next chapter I would become “solo-poly”: which means open to dating others but not seeking a committed partnership.Weeks later I met Asha, a woman whose radiant beauty & sparkling spirit enthralled me so completely, I must have been brushed by the tip of Eros’ arrow. I was compelled to explore our connection.The attraction was mutual and the passion immediate. Sex became a gateway to the purest realms of pleasure I had ever experienced. It wasn’t long before I was declaring my love and soon after that I wished for partnership.A reading from the Osho Zen tarot deck appeared to announce we would have a child together. As we sensed into the wild mystery of that path, it felt true. The current of life pulsed through our beings & we surrendered to the divine intelligence. Sex became our participation in the cosmic dance of existence.Three months later, she was pregnant.Suddenly, the sobering possibility of this life-altering consequence became apparent. We barely knew each other and inviting a child into our midst seemed a reckless proposition. In our high stakes contemplation we toggled between ending the pregnancy or proceeding with the birth, knowing there was grief in either decision.Ultimately, spirit moved us to say 'yes' and we were entrusted with our blessed boy.For my partner and I, stepping into this responsibility without the prerequisite time to build a foundation of trust was costly. Amidst the joy & connection, so have our ancestral, familial, and personal wounds triggered each other so effectively.And yet, I can now see the wisdom at work.Eros has the power to attract polarizing forces together for the function of healing. When two people are willing to hold each other with compassion & commitment within a foundation of trust - transformation is possible.Our sex becomes a sacred temple of alchemy.
Such a union of souls can light up the whole world.And we continue to listen for what's next...
Thanks for reading. I would love to hear your comments & reflections below.
And you’re welcome to explore The Mythic Masculine eco-system of podcasts, online courses, and upcoming events here.
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“The first half of my career was spent putting people to sleep, and after my midlife crisis, I realized I had to start waking people up, including myself.”
My guest today is Dr. Stephen Faulkner, a former medical doctor, pilot, and one of my key mentors on the path of mythopoetic masculinity.
In this episode, Stephen reflects on his nearly 70 years of life and shares his profound emotional and spiritual contentment despite facing chronic health issues. He emphasizes the critical importance of engaging in inner spiritual work to avoid the bitterness and regret that often accompany aging.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Stephen recounts his spiritual awakening at age 35, guided by the mythic maps found in "Iron John," and highlights the healing significance of connecting with nature and ritual. We speak on the transformative power of men's circles and the profound influence of Robert Bly on his journey, who also kindled a love of the great poet and artist William Blake.
He shares the tale of Gilgamesh & Endiku which was part of how we first met.
And finally, Stephen speaks of his recent near-death experience that brought him an unexpected sense of peace. He concludes with a heartfelt call for older men to mentor and support younger men, ensuring the continuity of wisdom and tending the fire across generations.
LINKS
* The enduring presence and power of William Blake (featuring Stephen Faulkner)
UPCOMING OFFERINGS
Next month, Deus and I are holding our next AWE (Awakening the Wild Erotic) Men’s Weekend July 26-28 in Black Creek, about 3 hours north of Victoria on Vancouver Island. It’s a ritual immersion in the archetype of the Lover, and if this calls to you, come join us. We’re 60% full already.
In September we’re also launching our next cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 12-week online expedition into the alluring, seductive force that animates all of life - Eros and beyond. It’s the most comprehensive container I’ve co-crafted to condenses almost a decade worth of men’s work, myth, and somatics into a powerful journey. Book a Discovery Call now and see if it’s right for you.
And finally, for all genders, you’re invited to take my online course Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men, which is a fantastic introduction to the book & a great way to integrate the chapters alongside my special guests like Stephen Jenkinson, Michael Gay, Sophie Strand and more.
What do you think of this episode? I’d love to hear your comments below.
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My guest today is Trevor Yelich, an alternative therapist specializing in breathwork, somatic psychotherapeutics and trauma work. He is the founder of Numa Somatics and the Numa Mystery School.
This episode was recorded immediately after I completed an in-person training with Trevor in psychotherapeutics, which I very much enjoyed. Many of the principles and practices I found quite complementary to my existing experience facilitating groups, and I found Trevor to be highly intelligent, warm and compassionate.
In this episode, Trevor shares his take on navigating a transformative phase of life, characterized by shifts in work, relationships, and self-awareness. He delves into the concept of the Chiron return, its significance in astrology, and how it has impacted his journey as a healer.
Trevor also explores the therapeutic potential of psychedelic experiences, the dynamics of embodying both masculine and feminine energies, and the Hakomi principle of organicity - emphasizing the natural, self-organizing processes that guide personal and collective healing through deep, empathetic connections.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
LINKS
* Trevor’s Official Website & Upcoming Events
* Trevor in IG
ALSO, DON’T MISS:
I’m hosting my next in-person men’s retreat Awakening The Wild Erotic July 26-28 on Vancouver Island. This is a very powerful ritual weekend not to miss. Get the full details & apply here.
As well, Iron John: A Mythic Story About Men is my re-released 7 week online course now available for all genders.
If you’re a man and want to work with me directly, Book A Discovery Call here.
SHOW NOTES
* Trevor's Transition: Trevor describes being in a liminal period in Calgary, Alberta, experiencing significant changes and many unknowns in his life, from relationships to work.
* Sense of Possibility: Despite the uncertainties, Trevor feels a strong sense of possibility and potential unfolding, trusting the process even without complete clarity.
* Chiron Return: Trevor is approaching his 51st birthday, marking his Chiron return, a significant astrological event related to the wounded healer archetype, bringing energetic shifts and introspection.
* Therapy as Exploration: Trevor and Ian discuss the nature of therapy, emphasizing it as a process of creating a safe and brave container to explore underlying frameworks of perception and reality, rather than just seeking to fix or soothe symptoms.
* Therapy Metaphor: Trevor uses the metaphor of a house to explain therapy, involving both significant renovations and ongoing maintenance tasks to continually adjust and improve one's relationship with life.
* Social Perceptions of Therapy: They discuss societal perceptions of therapy, highlighting how it is often seen as a weakness or a sign of being broken, and the importance of shifting this view towards understanding therapy as a skill for being human.
* Impact of Childhood Experiences: Trevor reflects on how his upbringing, particularly the lack of emotional support and reconciliation after punishment, influenced his path into therapy and his approach to helping others build healthier relationships.
* Emergence and Mindfulness: Trevor explains the concept of emergence in therapy, where by shifting focus and creating space around experiences, new possibilities and ways of relating can spontaneously arise.
* Psychedelic Therapy: The discussion touches on the rise of psychedelic therapy, with Trevor highlighting the benefits of non-ordinary states of consciousness in creating deeper therapeutic relationships and transformative experiences.
* Shape-shifting in Therapy: Trevor talks about the role of the therapist as a shape-shifter, adapting to the needs of the client and resonating with their experiences to facilitate deeper healing and transformation.
* Unity and Differentiation: The concept of unity in therapy is explored, emphasizing the importance of differentiation and healthy relationships between different parts of oneself and others, as opposed to binary opposition.
* Collective Healing: They discuss the ripple effect of individual healing on the collective, underscoring the importance of relational skills and co-regulation in fostering healthier, emotionally intelligent communities.
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Access The Iron John course here.
A few years ago, I was invited to steward an online offering for the Rowe Center, based in Massachusetts.
With the passing of Robert Bly, esteemed poet, activist, and father of the mythopoetic men's movement, I opted to weave a 7 week journey revisiting his seminal book Iron John, inviting an array of special guests to join me. The roster includes Stephen Jenksinon, Sophie Strand, Ramon Parish, Michael Gay, Philip Folsom, Shay Au Lait & Stefanos Sifandos.
The course was a big success, and since then, I’ve always wanted to re-release it for more folk of all genders to access the insights & experience.
I’m pleased to announce the course is now available.
A few more words about Robert Bly & the story:
As named, he is perhaps most well known for his retelling of the classic German fairy tale, which illuminated the inner world of men in such a way that seemed long absent from modern Western culture. This longing to be gathered into the mysteries of men and manhood, of a mythic masculinity, drew much contention upon its release in the early 90's, and has reverberated to this day.
It wasn't until I watched the documentary '1000 Years of Joy' that I grasped the larger portrait of a man who had already amassed a respectful body of work before he turned to culture and gender. My love for Mr. Bly grew tremendously, as a blazing example of what could lie ahead in the later half of life, a glimpse of elderhood to a troubled time.
Note: I also interviewed the films director Hayden Reiss which I’ve included at the bottom. Whether or not you’ve seen the documentary, it’s delightful to hear his stories of meeting & collaborating with Bly.
In 2022, the spiral has come around as a new generation discovers Iron John alongside an urgent crisis of masculinity. What might Iron John offer in the wake of #metoo, Artificial Intelligence, post-truth, multi-generational trauma, and biospheric breakdown?Despite some contemporary references that are dated, the book holds up as a vital to the conversation of manhood as it did in its day.
At the time, Bly was criticized by some feminists for "blaming women" for men’s troubles - and yet, that has never been accurate. He writes "This doesn't mean that the women are doing something wrong: I think the problem is more that the older men are not really doing their job."
That's not to say there aren't blindspots (there are), and thankfully a number of additional perspectives have added to the polyphony of emerging masculinities.Here’s my interview with Hadyn Reiss, the director of the Bly documentary 1000 Years of Joy. I highly recommend viewing the full film.
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My guest today is Nicolas Canon.
Nicolas is a seasoned relationship coach who has deeply intertwined his insights in love with walking the plant medicine path in his homeland of Colombia.
Over the past decade, he has dedicated himself to helping individuals and couples not only deepen their relationships but also find greater self-awareness and spiritual alignment. In this episode, he shares of his relocation as a youth to Toronto, Canada where he ran a tattoo shop and first worked as a coach - after many challenging & toxic relationships, he was guided to embark on a vision quest in the south of France. These experiences dramatically shaped his approach to life and work, including the crucible of marriage.
Finally, Nicolas reveals his insights into "the language of men” and how women can enhance communication with their male partners, deepen emotional connection, and unlock the potential of evolutionary partnership.
The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. http://themythicmasculine.substack.com
LINKS
* Nicolas Canon - Official Website*Nicolas on IG
SHOW NOTES
* Nicholas shares his recent return to Toronto after spending significant time in Colombia, reflecting on his emotional, spiritual, and physical journey.
* He discusses the profound impact of his experiences with indigenous shamans and ayahuasca ceremonies in Colombia, emphasizing the importance of spiritual integration.
* Reflecting on his past in Toronto, Nicholas discusses owning a tattoo shop and navigating a lifestyle marked by hedonism.
* He opens up about a toxic relationship and personal crises that led him back to Colombia for recovery and family support.
* Nicholas highlights the challenge of living between two worlds—the traditional wisdom of Colombia and the modern, bustling life in Toronto—emphasizing his role as a cultural bridge.
* He shares insights from his ayahuasca ceremonies, including advice to pause and reflect on various aspects of life.
* Nicholas reflects on his emotional grounding and support, particularly from his wife, amid his spiritual journey and transitions.
* He explores the concept of balance and integration, seeking to merge spiritual insights with Western lifestyle and societal expectations.
* The conversation delves into the complexity of personal growth and transformation, navigating between cultural identities and spiritual awakening.
* Nicholas discusses his evolving perspective on relationships, emphasizing the importance of healthy dynamics, mutual respect, and emotional connection.
* He shares insights into what makes a healthy relationship, highlighting communication, trust, shared values, and individual growth.
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My guest today is Andrea Villa, a scholar, a mentor of men, a restorer of old practices and languages of the sacred.
He has spent several years studying male initiation with indigenous peoples from India to West Africa to Native America, developing a unique understanding of gender as intelligence. His passion is to support men in regaining their erotic agency in love & relationships.
In today's episode, we delve into the profound realms of Eros as a multifaceted force that transcends mere physical attraction, touching upon the realms of the spiritual, the creative, and the deeply personal aspects of human experience. Andrea shares his journey of being undone by Eros, highlighting its crucial role in our connection to the world. He describes the important differences between masculine and feminine energies, and advocates for the significance of adoration and devotion in the dance of partnership.
Andrea also introduces the concept of erotic discipline, a practice of staying present with beauty to transcend the visible and touch the essence of our being. And he references Dante’s Divine Comedy, the monumental epic from the Middle Ages, and the poet’s adoration of Beatrice as a model for a love that can elevate our spirits to the divine.
I’d love to hear what you think of this episode! Leave your comments below.
Heads up: I’m inviting Andrew to offer an upcoming webinar in the next month. Stay tuned for details.
LINKS
* Official Website - Andrea Villa
ALSO, BEGINNING THIS THURSDAY:
There’s only a few days left to join the very first online cohort of The Deep Masculine, a 3 month journey for men.
I wanted to offer further insight behind the inspiration for this offering, with its roots in the soil of a fairy tale:
First published in 1990, Robert Bly's "Iron John: A Book About Men" is a key work in the mythopoetic men's movement.
The book rides the story of Iron John, a fairy tale collected by the Brothers Grimm, as a framework to explore masculinity and men's issues. Throughout the book, Bly discusses the concept of "the deep masculine," a term he uses to describe an essential, positive aspect of mature masculinity that has largely been lost in modern society - due to cultural poverty, lack of rites of passage, and the absence of positive male mentorship.
I've spoken on this thread in multiple conversations, including one with poet & author Sophie Strand in "Revisiting The Wild Man."
Mythopoetic men's work grew as a response to these challenges - and many men & organizations have picked up the torch from the first generation and the task they bequeathed to us.
Now, it's also true the Wild Man archetype has become overly fetishized in many men's work spaces, with an emphasis on pushing back against the "domesticated life." (Think Tyler Durden in Fight Club, or Lester Burham in American Beauty).
And yet, the Wild Man remains a mysterious and alluring presence for a deeper invitation into a lovership with life.
After almost 5 years of inquiry, alongside mentors, elders & many conversations under The Mythic Masculine podcast, as well as numerous months in the creative cauldron, The Deep Masculine journey brings together the most effective elements we could muster for igniting the hearts & souls of men.
We begin April 11.
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Last week I had a lovely conversation with Jumana Sophia, creator of Her Mystery School.
In this enlightening inquiry, we delve into the origins and evolutions of her initiation school for women, with clear parallels to what I’ve been developing for The Deep Masculine.
We explore the role of these dedicated spaces to heal and deepen our understanding of gender dynamics in modern society. We touch upon our personal journeys, insights into the challenges of creating potent realms of transformation, and the power of embracing one's depth and nobility.
This episode invites listeners to reflect on their paths and the importance of community, mentorship, and the ever-unfolding mystery of life. Join us for a journey into the heart of what it means to embody the deep masculine and feminine in today's world.
LAST CALL FOR MEN! Join Deus Fortier and I for a 12-week online expedition into the mysteries of The Deep Masculine.
This inaugural journey brings a particular focus to the alluring, seductive force that animates all of life - Eros. Together we will explore rich archetypal investigations, powerful somatic practices, and mythic tales of transformation in order to illuminate the beauty and power which has been long hidden within our own hearts.
At this critical time on our planet, when so many have fallen prey to numbness, let us come together as men in solidarity to remember the magic and mystery that we are a part of, in service to thriving life.
Start Your Application Now
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Spring is stirring, and I’m excited to announce the next offerings with my good friend and collaborator Deus Fortier.
After two successful immersive weekends for men held last year, formerly titled MXM, we’re pleased to announce our next one is coming soon April 5-7, 2024 in the Comox Valley on Vancouver Island.
You’re welcome to listen to our conversation recorded after our first weekend, which is how we were inspired to rename this offering Awakening The Wild Erotic.
This weekend is a mythosomatic immersion for men who wish to heal their sexual blocks, liberate their essential nature, and embody the archetype of the Lover. We will draw on modalities of breathwork, mythology, ecstatic dance, council & more to journey through this container.
We’re 50% full already. Don’t miss the chance to attend if you’re lit up with excitement and fear (a good combination).
Apply for Awakening the Wild Erotic
The second offering is the first fully original online men’s course I’ve ever co-created, and it’s a 12 week exploration titled The Deep Masculine.
Also developed with Deus, this course draws upon the elements of myth, archetypes, & somatic practices to explore the deeper realms of masculinity and lay a foundation of self-trust and vitality.
In 3 months, this cohort will enhance their ability to skillfully navigate their full spectrum of emotions, integrate their shadows & addictions related to sex & erotic energy, and cultivate a meaningful connection to a like-minded community of men.
The journey begins April 11, 2024.
Apply for The Deep Masculine.
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Barbie is back in the news again. The Oscars race is on and the film was nominated for numerous awards including Best Picture.
Ryan Gosling received the nod for Best Actor, while Margot Robbie & Greta Gerwig were passed over. Ironic snub, given the context of the film? Or just how it goes sometimes?
Now before you roll your eyes and wonder ‘who cares?’ I’ve decided to do some of the mythic heavy lifting around why Barbie is a culturally significant film at this moment. And not just because it crossed a billion dollars at the box office and became a clear phenomenon.
Last summer, colleague Alex Beiner wrote eloquently of the cultural complexities in his essay Castrated Utopias: What Barbie and Oppenheimer reveal about our sexual politics.
He writes:
Barbie is one of the most interesting films to come out of Hollywood in some time. It’s a strange phenomenon; a feminist initiation myth that critiques, sometimes with joyful nuance, capitalism and patriarchy, but which is paradoxically designed to sell a corporation’s product. Instead of a film we might read an ideology into, it’s a film woven around an existing ideology: feminism. However, the vision of the feminism it champions is what makes it particularly interesting.
It’s fun, well structured and at times leans toward a kind of metamodern feminism that seems able to hold the complexity of both social construction and biological difference. At other times, it slipped into a more simplistic feminism, and I found myself shaking my head at its narrow depictions of men and masculinity.
[…] I had a strong feeling that the film wasn’t really made for me as a man. It wasn’t trying to actively exclude me, but it was speaking to lived experiences of women, so I tried to listen to the message on its own terms.
I’ve finally decided to hoist my take into the ring, and I invited UK based writer, psychotherapist, and mythologist Carly Mountain to join me.
I was previously on her podcast to speak about the descent of Inanna, and so it felt perfect to bring her on to explore Barbie through this lens.
As well we touch on the arc of Ken and the advent of Patriarchy as borne from the rejection of the Feminine. Ken needs to go on his own quest to re-source the Feminine from within and meet the Great Goddess.
(This is much of the recent men’s work that I’m collaborating with Deus Fortier on. Our next Awakening the Wild Erotic weekend is coming up in April).
I hope you enjoy our conversation.
Also stick around at the end of the episode for a little easter egg…
P.S. you’re invited to check out Carly’s book “Descent & Rising: Women’s Stories & the Embodiment of the Inanna Myth”.
P.P.S Here’s a few music videos from Barbie.
I’ve love to hear your comments on our conversation below. What’s your take on Barbie?
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“Every group and every single gathering is an opportunity to remake and re-story culture.” - Al Jeffery
My guest today is Al Jeffery, an integrative psychotherapist, meditation guide and regenerative leadership practitioner.
He is also a conscious explorer of queerness and masculinity. In this episode, Al shares his journey, unlocking the potential and power of queerness as an aspirational approach to love. He speaks of queerness as identity and as orientation, and how it intersects with living fully in oneself. We also touch upon what it means to create inclusive spaces for men to explore these topics, as well as the complexity of lust and attraction.
And finally, we explore how each moment carries the possibility of remaking a culture of possibility and the inherent risk in leaning into the mystery of being.
LINKS
* Al’s Official Website
* Al’s Instagram
* Cornerstone Melbourne
* Al’s paper on Eros, The Evolution of Life and Mind, and Moving From Psychology Toward Soul-Making
SHOW NOTES
- **Concept of queerness**: An extensive exploration of "Queerness" in the context of identity, understood from both philosophical and socio-political standpoints.
- **Implicit transgressions and societal norms**: This topic investigates how "implicit transgressions" lead to the feelings of non-inclusion and marginalization within society.
- **Al Jeffery's complex personal relationship with the identity of 'queer'**; functioning as both an attraction and a defense mechanism.
- **Masculinity and societal expectations**: Discussion revolves around masculine societal norms, and the confusion that can result from a perceived need to strike a balance between strength and sensitivity.
- **Relationships and sexual attraction in the face of societal expectations**: A review of how societal norms and expectations can complicate the navigation of relationships and sexual attraction.
- **Queerness as a 'spiritual bypass'**: Al comments on the potential for queerness to be used as a spiritual bypass, avoiding confronting the vulnerability required when claiming gay identity.
- **Queer Inquiry**: The aspect of living as a question is discussed in reference to being queer, asserting the need for a persistent state of exploration and uncertainty clouding one's identity.
- **The role of eroticism and sensuality in sexuality exploration**: An insightful look into how eroticism and sensuality contribute to an individual's understanding of their own sexuality under the banner of queerness and how cultural norms impact this exploration.
- **The impact of a lack of cultural distinctions**: This segment reviews how culture’s lack of distinction - such as between the concepts of sensuality and sexuality, contributes to confusion and indirectness concerning male sexuality.
- **Al’s ongoing exploration of queerness**: The intrigues of Al Jeffery's ongoing exploration are highlighted as he questions his own identity labeling phenomenon, moving further into understanding himself and societal norms.
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My guest today is Rabbi Zelig Golden, the co-founder of Wilderness Torah, an organization dedicated to supporting Jewish people to heal, learn, and grow together through reconnection to the earth.
Zelig also holds a Masters in Jewish Studies and previously worked as an environmental lawyer protecting food and farms, and has long guided groups into the wilderness.
In our conversation today, we speak about Zelig’s upbringing as a youth embedded in Jewish ritual yet missing the deeper connection to his ancestral roots. We discuss the mystic origins of Judaism and his own path to Rabbihood. And of course, we speak of the war in Israel/Palestine and the sorrowful complexity that contributes to the ongoing horror.
We also touch on a recent year-long program that Zelig co-created for initiating the lives of Jewish men. And finally, he offers insights into how to dwell in the darkness before seeking the light as we approach the threshold of winter solstice.
LINKS
* Wilderness Torah Website
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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My guest today is Stephanie McKay, an educator and mentor in earth-based skills and ancestral ways.
She is the co-founder of Fianna Wilderness School on Vancouver Island, as well as a monthly Mythology Club, where folks explore stories of predominately of Indo-European origins in an attempt to uncover the remaining vestiges of an intact, land-based culture and spirituality, indigenous to that landscape
In our conversation today, we discuss her time studying with Martín Prechtel and developing the eyes and heart to see the rich layers of story. We name the distinct and modern act of looking to stories primarily through a psychological lens and what is missed when doing so.
Of course, we dive into an animist retelling of Iron John, the story made famous within the mythopoetic men’s movement through Robert Bly, and we talk about where stories go to survive in dark times, only to emerge again when the conditions are ripe.
Check out upcoming dates & locations of the Mythology Club on Vancouver Island.
SHOW NOTES
* Stephanie's Myth Journey: Stephanie's passion for mythology stemmed from Martine Prechtel's teachings, leading her to found a mythology club.
* Exploring Myth Lineage: The conversation touches on the mythopoetic men's movement, Robert Bly, Martine Prechtel, and the differing interpretations of mythology.
* Introduction to Iron John: Initially hesitant, Stephanie delves into the Iron John story, discovering its deeper layers and significance.
* Shifting Perspectives: Stephanie highlights a pivotal word in the story that changes its relational context, discussing the importance of reciprocity and forgetting in narratives.
* Historical Clues and Forgetting: The conversation explores historical clues, deforestation, and forgetting reciprocal relationships, drawing parallels with elements in the Iron John story.
* Cultural Debt and Initiation: The story highlights a culture with an intact initiation system, focusing on the concept of debt to the natural world. The idea of mutual indebtedness remains significant even as the culture is no longer intact.
* Forgetting and Initiation: Forgetting or the rupture in agreements is seen as a crucial part of initiation. Remembering these agreements and debts is essential for reciprocity.
* Domestication of Iron: The story delves into the domestication of Iron John, paralleling it with the contemporary taking of iron from the land, indicating a disruption in the relationship between the human and the holy.
* Iron's Impact: Iron's arrival brought weaponry, alchemy, and further clashes, feeding larger-scale wars. The story connects iron's hunger for sustenance with societal impacts.
* Rethinking Animacy: The narrative challenges the modern distinction between animate and inanimate objects, suggesting that elements like iron possess their own will and need for reciprocity.
* Approaching Mythology: Reading myths involves turning prejudices upside down, exploring word origins, and researching curious elements within stories to unveil their deeper meaning.
* Telling Stories: Oral storytelling allows a deeper connection, yet written texts provide a closer record of these ancient tales. Finding the oldest versions and comparing translations aids in identifying the core elements of a story.
* Understanding Bones vs. Flourishes: Distinguishing between the bones (core elements) and flourishes (narrative embellishments) involves reading multiple versions, recognizing repeated motifs across different cultures, and using discernment.
* Parting Thoughts: Encouragement to continue exploring myths, honoring the stories, and engaging with their depth and richness.
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This is a bonus conversation and a special invitation to attend the forthcoming Calling All Men Summit, of which I’m a featured speaker among many other men.
Watch the trailer for the event:
An overview:
Over 7 days you’ll meet and learn from 50 men who are experienced with the multitude of crises we face. These men are fathers, leaders, mentors and elders with unique experiences and deep wisdom to share.
My conversation today is with the summit host & creator Michael Skye, whom I met quite a few years ago through my transformational media work. It was delightful to reconnect around this important conversation and event.
My own pre-recorded conversation on “In Search of Mythic Masculinity” with Michael is streaming on Day 2, December 5th. We cover:
* The underworld: home of the greatest dragon every young man must face
* The plight of fatherless boys yearning to become men
* Reviving male initiation
The Summit is free to register.
Consider attending and sharing with other folks who may benefit.
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My guest today is Christopher Ryan, an acclaimed author and speaker who has led a diverse and unconventional life, from working odd jobs around the world to earning a Ph.D. in Psychology and being a self-proclaimed “vanthropologist.”
He is the host of the podcast Tangentially Speaking, as well as the author of “Civilized to Death” and the co-author of “Sex At Dawn”, which columnist Dan Savage has called “The single most important book on human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.”
When I read “Sex At Dawn” over a decade ago, it had a significant influence on my life path and approach to relationships, as you’ll hear in this episode. As well, we cover Chris’ own journey that inspired him to reach into the pre-history of humanity and find fresh insights into modern relationships, sexuality, and how remarkably similar we are to bonobos.
We discuss the complex challenges for men & masculinity today, we touch on his observations about the radical peace project of Tamera, and finally, he shares his best (and only) advice on how to live into the future of relationships.
LINKS
* Christopher Ryan - Official Website
* Christopher Ryan on Instagram
SHOW NOTES
* Crestone is a unique spiritual community at 8,000 feet with open-air cremations, Tibetan stupas, and diverse spiritual centers.
* Historical Origins: Crestone's history involves visionary landowners and prophecies of harmonious coexistence among different religious traditions, leading to the creation of spiritual centers.
* Chris's Journey: Chris's exploration of cultures and alternative lifestyles began in his youth and eventually led him to Crestone.
* Understanding the Human Condition: Chris's career focuses on understanding human behavior and challenging cultural norms.
* "Sex at Dawn": The book challenges traditional monogamy notions, examining evolutionary psychology, anthropology, and bonobo behavior.
* Controversy and Conversation: "Sex at Dawn" sparked debates and opposition by questioning conventional beliefs about monogamy.
* Career Evolution: Chris shifted from literature to psychology and faced backlash from the academic community.
* Cultural Biases in Science: The discussion highlights how cultural biases influence scientific disciplines like anthropology.
* Exploring Masculinity: Masculinity encompasses risk-taking, humor, and courageous conversations, not limited to stereotypical traits.
* Challenges in Modern Masculinity: Contemporary culture presents complexities, with concerns about toxic masculinity and limited career opportunities for young men.
* Impact of Toxic Messages: Toxic ideologies exploit the challenges faced by young men and promote disrespect toward women.
* Rediscovering Cooperation: The future presents a choice between eroding traditional gender roles and rediscovering human cooperation, which may necessitate shared resources and mutual support.
FROM THE ARCHIVE
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My guest today is Kai Cheng Thom, a certified somatic sex educator, qualified mediator, clinical hypnotherapist, and poet based in Toronto. She's the author of six award winning books in various genres, including the Stonewall Honor Book award winning essay collection, I Hope We Choose Love.
Kai Cheng's work focuses on the intersection of social justice, pleasure activism, and the transformative approaches to healing conflict. A noted speaker and practitioner of somatic wellness, healing, and group process facilitation, Kai Cheng supports individuals and groups who are seeking to repair relationships and to make transformative change.
Her latest book, Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Love Letters to Lost Souls, was released in August.
This particular interview was inspired by an essay that was recently published called “The Village And The Woods.” Our conversation was recorded live as one of the Solar Sessions held within The School of Mythopoetics. I was so delighted by the richness of our time that I’ve decided to publish the episode here as well.
Please consider becoming a Paid Subscriber. I don’t accept advertising, and your support funds this effort.
Also - I have a few spots available for 1 on 1 Mythic Mentorship for Men. Reach out directly if you’re interested to [email protected]
Links:
* Kai Cheng Thom’s Official Website
* Kai Cheng Thom on Instagram
* The Village and the Woods full essay
Show Notes:
* Village represents the known, ordered aspects.
* Woods symbolize the unknown and tempting.
* People are drawn to the woods but fear it.
* Fire symbolizes our attempt to understand the unknown.
* Excessive focus on fire leads to zealotry.
* Metaphor explores the interplay of known and unknown.
* "Monster" as a metaphor for suppressed desires and fears.
* Emergence of archetypes like priest, zealot, monster, and victim.
* Reactionary responses can lead to violence and exclusion.
* Both Left and Right exhibit reactive behaviors.
* Vasilisa and Baba Yaga story underscores the need for integration.
* The witch archetype bridges the gap between light and dark aspects of self.
* Discussion on the crone archetype and its contrast with patriarchal norms.
* Exploring alternative social structures and the concept of emergence.
* Importance of a "sacred pause" to break reactive patterns.
* Suggestion to write love letters to personal "monsters" as a practice.
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I’m pleased to release this conversation with my friend and longtime collaborator Deus Fortier as we discuss our recent MXM immersion for men.
The detailed show notes are below.
As well, we’ve announced new dates for our next MXM - Nov 17-19. You can find all the details & apply to join here.
Note: I’m very excited to release more new episodes of the podcast that I’ve been trying to polish all summer, but somehow, haven’t been able to do it yet. I promise! They’re coming soon.
Lastly, I very much appreciated all the folks who came up to me at Imagine Festival on Orcas Island offering gratitude for the podcast. And hattip to Brandon at Farm to Ferry for a lovely meal & Pixie Mead for the gift of a bottle of Odherir mead. I shall certainly craft an occasion for poetry and companionship when I crack the bottle.
SHOW NOTES
* Collaboration on MXM Retreat: Deus and Ian discuss their collaboration on the MXM (Masculinity, Sex, and Myth) retreat, focusing on masculinity, sexuality, and mythology.
* Exploration of Masculinity: They reflect on their personal journeys and interests in exploring masculinity, including the role of archetypes such as the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.
* Importance of Ritual Space: They emphasize the importance of creating a ritual space for transformation, where participants can explore their sexuality and masculinity in a safe and focused environment.
* Role of the Lover Archetype: Deus and Ian highlight the significance of the Lover archetype in their work, describing it as a unifying force that fosters a deeper connection with oneself and the world.
* Impact of Societal Expectations: They discuss how societal expectations often lead men to suppress their eroticism and how this suppression can have consequences, such as the Me Too movement.
* Exploration of Erotic Fantasies: They mention the exploration of erotic fantasies as a way to understand one's primary wounds and how they connect to one's sexual desires and behaviors.
* Acknowledging Trauma and Exploration: The discussion explores how acknowledging trauma, especially related to sexuality and masculinity, can be transformative for men and how exploring these areas collectively in a safe space can lead to healing.
* The Role of Ritual Space: The importance of creating ritual spaces for transformation, where men can openly discuss their feelings, desires, and experiences, is emphasized as a healing and transformative experience.
* Exploring Masculinity and Eroticism: The conversation delves into the exploration of masculinity, eroticism, and archetypes such as the Lover, and how societal expectations often suppress these aspects of a man's identity.
* The Power of Transparency: Transparent and honest communication among men is highlighted as a crucial aspect of healing and transformation, allowing them to bring their inner experiences and desires into the light.
* The Sensual Connection to Nature: The discussion touches on the idea of developing a sensual relationship with the natural world and how it can help individuals reconnect with life and find joy and purpose.
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As lovers, can we move beyond the need to get it right - and instead be absolutely captivated with the desire to be real with each other?
My guest today is Melissa Maya, a writer & artist who works as a feminine leadership and somatic intimacy guide. She is devoted to midwifing a culture that is rooted in the resurgence & remembrance of feminine intelligence & intuition, and in her own words, “in service to women becoming obedient to their true nature.”
This conversation was sparked by a post from Melissa where she shared about her former experience as a domina - a female dominatrix - and what she discovered was most effective in inviting her male clients into a deeper surrender.
I hear her story, as well as her explorations of isogeny - the capacity to shift between an integrated masculine and feminine polarity, as well as the intimacy that can develop through the path of radical transparency in relationship.
LINKS:
* Melissa Maya on IG
* Wildly Devotional Website
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