Episodes
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Episode Overview
Ever opened up to someone only to be met with silence or worse, a thumbs up emoji? In this Sanity Check, we dive into the disappointment of emotional disconnection, especially when it comes from people weâre close to. We unpack the hard truth: not everyone has the emotional capacity to meet you where you're at - and itâs not about you.
This conversation is a compassionate reminder that your vulnerability is not too much, and choosing to protect your peace doesnât make you cold. It makes you strong.
Key Discussion Points
Aileenâs story of opening up and getting⊠nothing backWhy some people simply donât have the emotional tools to meet youHow growth can make you feel isolated from those who arenât evolvingLetting go of expectations without letting go of loveReframing disappointment by focusing on boundaries and self-honourWhy protecting your peace is an act of self-respect, not rejectionListener Takeaways
It's not always personal. People meet you as deeply as theyâve met themselvesYou can't force connection, but you can choose your responseLetting go of the fantasy that others will change creates emotional freedomJoin the Conversation
Who in your life struggles to meet you emotionally? How do you handle that disappointment? DM us or leave a voice messageâweâre always here to listen.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
Is it time to stop chasing âhaving it allâ and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped womenâs nervous systems, and why the soft life isnât about giving up, itâs about tuning in.
From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.
What the soft life really means and why itâs not lazy or indulgentThe myth of âhaving it allâ and the hidden costs of chasing itHow our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding thatWhy wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve itThe emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife womenRedefining success and creating space for what truly mattersHow small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peaceGiving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to proveThe soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity
Key Discussion Points
You donât need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a timeRest isnât selfish, itâs essentiaL, especially when your nervous system is always âonâYouâre not lazy for needing to slow down. Youâre wise for listening to what your body and soul actually needIf âhaving it allâ is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe itâs time to redefine what all means to you
Listener Takeaways
Join the ConversationWeâd love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.
And donât forget to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it!
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episodes manquant?
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Episode Overview:
In this candid Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the kind of exhaustion that sleep alone canât fix. Itâs not just the 3am perimenopause wake-ups, the Prosecco regrets, or the never-ending to-do list - itâs the deeper, invisible load that keeps us wired 24/7.
They unpack the toll of being constantly âon,â from anticipating everyoneâs needs to never truly switching off, even when the kids are older. Whether itâs playing the role of juggler, chef, therapist, or clown, the emotional and nervous system load of motherhood and midlife deserves to be named and deeply acknowledged.
Key Discussion Points:
The difference between tiredness and âbone tiredâ exhaustionWhy full nights of sleep donât always help and what else might be going onThe constant state of alert that mothers live in, even when no oneâs calling their nameHow single parenting, invisible labour, and midlife sensitivity amplify fatigueWhy real rest is more than just sitting down - itâs letting your body fully exhaleListener Takeaways:
If you're feeling wiped out despite âdoing nothing,â you're not alone or lazyThe mental and emotional toll of being permanently on alert is realItâs okay to say youâre tired. You deserve rest that actually restores youBeing deeply fatigued doesnât mean you love your kids any lessRest isnât indulgent, itâs a necessity for your nervous systemJoin the Conversation:
Does this kind of tiredness sound familiar? Have you been carrying a load that no one sees?
Send us a DM or an email at [email protected], weâd love to hear how this resonates for you.
And if someone in your life needs to hear this, please pass it on.Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves.
They also revisit a metaphor thatâs stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by Julie's husband, but itâs grown into a powerful framework for understanding the different ways people process life, emotion, and joy.
Key Discussion Points:
Julieâs sisterâs blunt but brilliant advice: âCalm the F downâWhy some people feel content with less, while others crave depthThe âonion vs. potatoâ metaphor: emotional complexity vs. grounded simplicityThe science behind Happiness Set Point Theory and what we can (and canât) changeHow upbringing, personality, and life experience shape our emotional landscapeWhy itâs powerful to honour your wiring rather than trying to âfixâ itThe importance of deep connection, especially when others process differentlyListener Takeaways:
Get curious about your emotional blueprint, do you lean toward simplicity or reflection?Understand that overthinkers and seekers arenât broken⊠theyâre just layeredRelease the idea that happiness is something to earnRecognise the strengths in both âonionâ and âpotatoâ typesEmbrace the idea that calm, grounded joy is just as meaningful as complex growthJoin the Conversation:
Are you more of an onion or a potato, or somewhere in between? Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates.
Send them a DM, leave a voicemail, or join their WhatsApp group (link in bio).
New here? Subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for honest, layered, and heartfelt conversations every week.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fearsâlike judgment, rejection, or letting someone downâthat keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.
Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not aloneâand that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.
Key Discussion Points
Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying noâeven when itâs justifiedThe tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peacePeople-pleasing vs. empathyâhow to know whatâs really driving youSocial rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research saysThe power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacityHow guilt can sometimes be a sign of growthSpeaking honestly with kindness and clarityListener Takeaways
Saying no doesnât make you selfishâit makes you honestNotice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truthAsk yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?Treat yourself like youâd treat a friend: with understanding and compassionGrowth can feel like guiltâespecially when you're not used to honouring your own needsJoin the Conversation
Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DMâweâd love to hear your thoughts and stories. Letâs make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlifeâthe shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss⊠or a kind of liberation?
Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.
Key Discussion Points
The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attentionWatching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressureThe contrast between youth and midlifeâperformance vs. presenceGrief, freedom, and what we gain as we ageThe idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shedHow midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendshipsWhy being seen isnât always about external eyes, but internal fullness
Youâre not invisibleâyouâre evolving.This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesnât applaud it.Visibility doesnât have to come from othersâit can be something you claim for yourself.The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?
Listener Takeaways
Join the ConversationWe want to hear from you. Whatâs your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisibleâand if so, what helps?
DM us or drop a voice message.Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotionsâspecifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether youâve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down whatâs really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.
Key Talking Points:
Why cortisol rises in everyday situationsâespecially the chaotic after-school hours.The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.How oxytocin (the âhug hormoneâ) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).Listener Takeaways:
Ask yourself: Whatâs one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?Remember: Itâs not just mentalâitâs chemical. Go gently with yourself.Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.đŹ Join the Conversation:
Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? Weâd love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbinsâ now-viral âLet Them Theory.â From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeingâand so hard to put into practice.
Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to âlet themâ has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. Itâs not about being passiveâitâs about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.
Key Discussion Points:
How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeysWhy detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from loveThe role of control in people-pleasing and over-explainingLetting go of the need to be seen a certain way by othersThe difference between surrender and checking outWhy âlet themâ doesnât always applyâespecially in parentingHow fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-effortingChoosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticityThe difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them driftUsing âlet themâ as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubtListener Takeaways:
You donât have to fix or manage everyoneâs reaction to you.âLet themâ is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.Boundaries arenât wallsâtheyâre a return to your centre.Surrendering control doesnât mean giving upâit means trusting more.You canât force connection. If itâs real, it doesnât need chasing.đ± Join the Conversation:
Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice noteâweâd love to hear your take.
And donât forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovertâand why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. Itâs not about being shy or socialâitâs about how you refill your tank. Whether youâve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.
Key Discussion Points
The myth that being outgoing = extrovertedWhy stimulation isnât the same as nourishmentThe "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps inWhy introverts need solitude like oxygenWhat happens when we override our natural energy patternsHow extroverts suffer from too much solitudeLearning to name your needsâwithout guilt
Recharging isnât selfishâitâs essentialNotice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxurySet boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hitsThereâs no one-size-fits-allâfigure out what actually works for you
Listener TakeawaysđŹ Join the Conversation
Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? Weâd love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at [email protected].
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take â not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family â a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.
This is a conversation for anyone whoâs ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.
The betrayal that isnât loud â but lingers the longestAileenâs childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trustHow betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identityJulieâs experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guardedThe listener story that sparked this episode â being ridiculed by family in publicThe long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerabilityCoping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolationPractical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust
Key Discussion Points:
Betrayal doesnât have to be dramatic to be devastatingIt often starts young â and shapes how we see ourselves and the worldHealing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worthYou can forgive without forgetting â and without allowing repeat accessYou are not alone in this â and it wasnât your fault
Listener Takeaways:
đ© Join the Conversation:Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? Weâd love to hear your story. DM us, email us at [email protected], or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.
đ If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much â when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back â or forward â to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.
Whether itâs the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points â if we let them.
Key Discussion Points
Why we often feel most lost right before something shiftsThe importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix itHow life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growthPersonal stories of feeling unmoored â and how clarity eventually cameThe quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for whatâs nextđĄ Listener Takeaways
Feeling lost isnât a sign youâre broken â itâs part of becomingNot all breakdowns are dramatic â sometimes itâs the subtle unraveling that leads to strengthIf you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end â you could be on the edge of a new beginningLet yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.
Join the Conversation
Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? Weâd love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM â weâre here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than everâespecially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us.
Key Discussion Points:âȘïž Dopamine vs Serotonin â What they are, how they affect us, and why this distinction matters.
âȘïž The Trap of Quick Fixes â From food and alcohol to likes on social media, how we chase pleasure thinking it's happiness.
âȘïž Hormonal Shifts & Midlife â Why perimenopause can bring our coping patterns into sharper focus.
âȘïž Parenting in a Dopamine World â Reflections on teens, screen addiction, and fast gratification.
âȘïž Real-Life Reflections â Personal stories of travel anxiety, shifting desires, and finding joy in simplicity.
âȘïž Happiness as a Slow Burn â Why authentic happiness is quieter, and how to recognise it in everyday moments.
âȘïž Practical Tools â Mindfulness, gratitude, purpose, and small serotonin-boosting rituals that reconnect us to ourselves.Listener Takeaways:
đč Youâre not failing if you donât feel happy all the time.
đč Start asking: Is this soothing me⊠or sustaining me?
đč Swap one dopamine-driven habit this week for something slower and deeperâlike a walk, a cuddle, or a moment of stillness.
đč Awareness is the first step toward changeâand even just noticing your patterns is a powerful act of self-care.
đ Join the Conversation:Have you had your own âahaâ moment around this? Are you stuck in the dopamine loop? Weâd love to hear from you. DM us or leave a voicemailâwe're here to listen.
đ§ Listen now and donât forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who might need this gentle nudge toward something more lasting.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileenâs seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julieâs chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesnât always mean switching off.
They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true restâand why we need to redefine what a break looks like in this phase of life.
Why itâs so hard to truly disconnect as a mum and business ownerThe pressure to âuseâ holidays productively (and the guilt when we donât)How rest might look different nowâan hour alone, a change of scene, a walk by the seaThe 35,000 decisions we make dailyâand how even reducing one can feel like a winWhy redefining rest is essential for our sanity, even if itâs imperfect
Key Discussion Points
You donât need to earn restâyou just need to allow it.A holiday doesnât have to look like a postcard to count.Even small, imperfect moments of letting go can be enough.Stop measuring the success of a break by how rested you feel.The mental load doesnât clock offâbut you can give yourself permission to pause.
Listener TakeawaysJoin the Conversation
What does a real break look like for you? Weâd love to know.
DM us on Instagram or leave us a voice note with your thoughts.
And if you know someone who needs this reminderâsend them this episode. đLinks:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
This week, weâre diving deep into the menopausal middleâthe physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so weâre going further.
Weâre talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencingâbut rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood shifts, and even a re-evaluation of friendships, we share whatâs helped us and why we need to approach this season with gentleness, honesty, and a hell of a lot of grace.
Key Discussion Points
Why body changes in midlife feel so destabilisingThe silent identity shift behind the weight and wardrobe stressThe lasting impact of dieting and why strength training matters nowThe emotional toll: grief, confusion, and unexpected lossHow shifting friendships reflect who weâre becomingOur go-to tips for feeling betterâinside and outReframing midlife as a transition, not a declineListener Takeaways
Youâre not aloneâmillions of women feel this shiftThis isnât about willpowerâitâs biology and identitySmall changes can create real reliefRest and nervous system care matter as much as protein and trainingThis phase may feel messyâbut itâs not the end. Itâs a becoming.đŹ Join the Conversation
Weâd love to hear how this stage is showing up in your life. Are you feeling the shift? Whatâs helped you feel more yourself again?
Drop us a voice note or DMâand share this with someone who needs to hear theyâre not alone.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us aboutâwhen your body feels like itâs breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster.
đ Key Discussion Points:
The double whammy of navigating perimenopause while raising hormonal teenagers.Feeling blindsided by brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustionâand not knowing what hit you.Why no one prepared us for this brutal life stage overlap.How societal narratives (think cranky fairy-tale witches) reflect deep-rooted stereotypes about older women.The emotional strength we do gain during this seasonâand why itâs often overlooked.The importance of female friendships and honest conversations to survive this hormonal storm.Hope from the other side: what gets better and why itâs not all downhill from here.Reframing the chaos as a powerful shedding of what no longer serves us.đŹ Listener Takeaways:
You're not alone if you're crying in the car while your teen slams the door. This stage is hard, and that doesn't mean you're failing.Talk about itâwith friends, with us, with anyone who gets it. We need each other more than ever in this season.Take heart: on the other side of this storm is clarity, power, and a deep knowing of who you are.Be kind to yourself. Youâre going through a massive transformation while holding a family together. Thatâs no small feat.
đŁ Join the Conversation:Have you felt this hormonal collision in your own life?
Leave us a voicemail or email us at [email protected].
Weâd love to hear from you and share your thoughts in a future episode. đAnd donât forget to subscribe, share, and send this to a friend who needs to know sheâs not the only one feeling like sheâs losing it some days.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
-
Episode Overview
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important?
They explore how deeply ingrained beliefsâfrom childhood conditioning to societal pressureâcan make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves?
With honesty, vulnerability, and plenty of relatable moments, they break down the difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, share personal stories of spirals, shame, and small acts of graceâand offer tangible ways to start flipping the script.
đŹ Key Discussion Points
Why self-compassion is often harder than showing compassion to othersThe voice in our heads: learning to interrupt self-criticismHow compassion is not indulgenceâbut strength and supportReal-life examples of freezing, spiralling, and finding graceThe difference between pushing through and pausingPractical tools for practising self-compassion in daily lifeđ± Listener Takeaways
Self-compassion isnât a rewardâitâs a lifeline when you're strugglingYou donât have to earn your worth; itâs already yoursSmall shifts (like noticing your inner critic or putting a hand on your heart) can create big changeAsking yourself âWhat would I say to a friend?â can help reframe harsh self-talkTrue compassion empowers usâit helps us move forward, not fall apart
đŁ Join the ConversationWhatâs one way you could show yourself more compassion this week?
Weâd love to hear from youâsend us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us spread the message that you are already enough.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivityâhow we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.'
Key Discussion Points:
The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.Invisible Labor & Self-Worth: The challenge of feeling satisfied with productivity when the work is intangible, such as emotional caregiving or simply being present.Redefining Success: Shifting from valuing only tangible accomplishments to recognizing rest, connection, and well-being as equally productive.Breaking the Cycle: How to challenge old conditioning and give ourselves credit for the unseen but deeply valuable aspects of daily life.Practical Reframes: Simple mindset shifts and daily check-ins to ensure we're honoring ourselves rather than just our to-do lists.Listener Takeaways:
Productivity isnât just about what you do; itâs about how you feel doing it.Rest, connection, and presence matter as much as tangible achievements.Itâs okay to unlearn the belief that constant busyness equals worthiness.Small shiftsâlike acknowledging your needs each dayâcan make a big difference.You are enough, even on the days where nothing gets checked off.
Join the Conversation:Weâd love to hear from you! What does âenoughâ look like for you these days? Drop us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.
And if you need help to feel like you are enough, download our FREE e-book:
ENOUGH - Just As You Are - https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/
Thanks for being hereâsee you next time!
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview:
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guiltâhow we carry it, why we feel it, and whether itâs even the right word for what weâre experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go?
Key Discussion Points:
đč The Difference Between Guilt and Feeling Bad â Are we actually doing something wrong, or are we just reacting emotionally to lifeâs complexities?
đč The Heavy Weight of Guilt â How guilt creeps into motherhood, relationships, work, and even daily decisions like missing a workout or canceling plans.
đč Guilt as a Habit, Not a Truth â The societal and cultural conditioning that teaches us to feel guilty for simply existing.
đč Constructive vs. Destructive Guilt â When guilt is useful (motivating repair or change) versus when itâs an unnecessary energy drain.
đč Practical Steps to Let Go of Guilt â How reframing, self-compassion, and open conversations can help lighten the load.Listener Takeaways:
Ask yourself: Have I actually done something wrong? If not, itâs not guiltâitâs just a feeling that needs acknowledgment.Challenge ingrained guiltâwhere does it come from? Cultural norms, childhood conditioning, or societal expectations?If guilt motivates positive change, use it. If it just weighs you down, let it go.Talking about guilt with someone you trust can strip it of its power.Join the Conversation:
What role does guilt play in your life? Have you been labeling sadness or regret as guilt? Weâd love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave a voicemail.
And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember, you donât need to carry guilt to prove you careâyou are already enough.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a frustrating yet deeply relatable topicâthe stubborn menopausal middle. They share their personal experiences of how their bodies have completely changed the rules, making it harder than ever to maintain weight or fit into the clothes theyâve always worn. While theyâve done a lot of work on body image and self-worth, the disconnect between how they feel mentally and whatâs happening physically is real. Together, they unpack the emotional, practical, and identity-based challenges that come with these changesâand explore how to navigate this transition with more self-compassion and less control.
Key Discussion Points:
When the old rules stop working â The diets, workouts, and habits that once worked suddenly have no impact.The emotional impact â Itâs not just about weight; itâs about identity, confidence, and feeling at home in your own body.The unpredictability factor â Weight fluctuations, fluid retention, and how stress and cortisol play a massive role.Reframing the focus â Shifting from trying to control your body to prioritizing health, strength, and feeling good.Finding what works for you â From mindful movement and stress management to adjusting styles and embracing change.Listener Takeaways:
Youâre not alone. If your body is changing in ways you donât recognize, youâre not imagining itâand youâre not the only one struggling.Self-compassion over control. Letting go of the need to âfixâ your body and instead focusing on what feels good.Trial and error is key. What works for one person might not work for anotherâit's about listening to your body.Keep the conversation going. Body changes in midlife arenât widely discussed, but they should be.
Join the ConversationHave you noticed changes in your body that feel completely foreign? Whatâs helped you navigate this transition? Weâd love to hear your experiences. DM us or leave a commentâweâre in this together.
đŹ Letâs talk about it.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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Episode Overview
Have you ever felt like certain people expect more from you than they do from others? Maybe your family still sees you as the one who always shows up, or your friends assume youâll always make the effort, even when life has changed. In this episode, we unpack the hidden weight of expectationsâwhere they come from, how they get reinforced, and why itâs so difficult to shift them.
We also explore how expectations play out in different areas of lifeâfamily, friendships, work, parentingâand why resetting them is so crucial for our well-being. Whether it's learning to say no, setting boundaries, or simply letting go of the pressure to be everything for everyone, this episode will help you reflect on where expectations may be holding you back.
Key Discussion Points:
Where expectations come from â Why certain people expect more from us than others.The role weâve played in shaping expectations â Have we unknowingly reinforced them?Family dynamics â How old roles keep us stuck and why change is hard.Friendship & work expectations â How to reset them when life shifts.Parenting & expectations â Teaching kids about boundaries while checking our own pressures on them.Societal expectations on women â The pressure to be everything and how to let go of what doesnât serve us.Practical ways to reset expectations â Communicating boundaries and updating the version of ourselves others see.Listener Takeaways:
Reflect on the expectations in your lifeâare they fair, and do they still serve you?Identify whether youâve unknowingly reinforced expectations that no longer work for you.Learn to communicate shifts in your availability, priorities, or needs.Recognize when people are simply taking advantage and how to set firmer boundaries.Understand that letting go of outdated expectations isnât about making others happyâitâs about honoring your own needs.BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If youâre struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isnât the right fit, you can switch easily.
Join the Conversation
Do you struggle with managing expectations in your life? Have you ever had to reset boundaries in a big way? Weâd love to hear from you!
đ© Send us a DM or voice message
đ§ Email us at [email protected]If you found this episode helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod Email us at [email protected]Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
Editor: Allia Lenit Galos
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, weâre two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. Weâre not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
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