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In this episode I go over the reasons why making and having money is the #1 solution to ending your burnout.
I've been coaching moms out of burnout for over two years. In today's episode we discuss the main conclusion I've come to.
It's not surprising that money plays a very big part in mom burnout. If you don't have enough money you will be more burned out. If you do have enough, the chances of you banishing your burnout significantly increases.
Tune in to hear my plan for helping moms earn money so they can put an end to their burnout once and for all!
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website here.
© 2022 - 2023 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Moms, the holidays are coming ... ready or not! Now is the time to block off space on your calendar for yourself. I'm calling these blocks of time "Important Meetings" or "Important Appointments" and I'm advising you to schedule them ASAP!
In this episode, I talk about signs I've experienced that burnout is on its way. This is a high risk time of year for Mom Burnout. Be on alert. Be warned. And take advanced precautions by scheduling down time/break time right now -- aka "important meetings" and "important appointments." Get them on your calendar before the holiday craziness gets going. These are blocks of time you're going to use to rest and recover from all of the holiday to dos on the way.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
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Money is power and until women have equal control and awareness of their money, they are forfeiting power. In this episode, I shine a light on what I have experienced and what I'm seeing regarding women being disengaged with their money and the reasons why.
My husband was in charge of all of the "money stuff," it was his "department."
I was like an ostrich with my head in the sand when it came to our money matters. And I knew it. I just didn’t have the time, energy or immediate reason to do anything about it.
Happily (refer to episode 4) I straightened this out. How? I got up to speed on my money AND I even hired my own financial advisor who helps me separately from my husband to make sure that I’m always in the loop with my money. But I continue to see this same lack of relationship with money with other women – my clients, my friends, I see it everywhere and I want to shine a light on it.
In truth, this is something that’s been bothering me for a VERY long time. It has to do with an underdiscussed (in my opinion) issue with women and money. Here’s my observation…
Despite how much money a woman has, if she’s not involved in her money, she’s disempowered. And many women are not involved, or at least not involved enough. This leaves them wide open to the risk of not being able to thrive and even survive down the road of their lives.
This is also a big contributor to burnout.
Coaching Referral Mentioned:
Stacey Mendelson - Divorce Coach
https://lifelinecoaching.ca
Articles Mentioned:
Women, Money and Power: The Next Generation
(Correction - this article was written in 2017 not 2016 as mentioned in the episode)
The Allianz Women, Money, and Power Study: Empowered and Underserved
Women, Wealth, and Investing - A Story of Evolution
Book & Podcast Recommendations:
Rewire for Wealth: Three Steps Any Woman Can Take to Program Her Brain for Financial Success
The Ramsey Show
Money Guy Show
Make sure you are aware of all of your accounts, amounts, logins and passwords. Make a list of all of your assets and liabilities. Make a list of the insurances you have and the ones you might be missing.
Challenge Questions -
Please Note: He/She Man/Woman Husband/Wife/Partner are used in this podcast for simplicity, but I welcome and support all gender preferences.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
After realizing the impact of internalized patriarchy (IP) on mom burnout, I have come up with a strategy to deal with it. Join me today as I share this burnout "hack" with you.
It's internal, we cause it Men, in general, don't suffer from it.
Here's what I know about internalized patriarchy:
(Disclaimer: I'm not sure how gender identification plays into this so I am referring to men and women to keep this concept simple - but know I support all forms of gender associations).
Therefore, here is a hack ... find a man or person who does not suffer from internalized patriarchy (I have affectionately termed this person to be your IP partner) and when you find yourself experiencing IP -- pause -- and ask the other person what they would do in this situation. Bam! Now at least you see what's going on and you have some options to find a way out.
Join me for this episode of BMB where I run actual scenarios in my life by my chosen IP partner, my husband Walter, who shines a light on what he would do in each scenario.
IP is a massive cause of burnout. And I'm on a mission to conquer it! Join me!
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Kelly Hollingsworth is a brilliant and masterful coach for coaches.
She has opened my eyes to so many things including internalized patriarchy, the need for equality in the home and how to engage powerfully with others. I have Kelly's guidance to thank for creating this podcast!
In this episode Kelly and I talk about how she is teaching mostly women how to engage powerfully with others and how this helps women make money.
We talk about Type 1 vs Type 2 patriarchy.
We discuss how the way Motherhood is being handled right now is a giant barrier to women earning money.
I am so proud and so honored to be one of Kelly’s coaches and I could not be more excited to share this conversation with you.
To listen to Kelly's How to Make More Money podcast click here (I especially recommend episode 21).
Enjoy!
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Step 4 of Banishing Mom Burnout is stop overmomming and use that time and energy to build your life outside of motherhood. One great way to do this is to read. Read... a lot. Reading is a fantastic way to escape/take a break without going anywhere. You can do it while semi-supervising your kids. You can do it while you wait for your kids at activities. Thanks to one of my favorite things, Audible, you can listen to books while mom taxi-ing all over the place. Reading/listening to books is the best! Reading is also one of the best ways to learn new things and continue to grow as a person, which is so important to prevent burnout!
Any reading is good, but I personally love reading about self-development (kinda my thing).
For today's episode I've selected a few of my recent picks that have helped me with mom burnout. Here are the amazon/audible links:Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
This summer wasn't the restful break I thought it would be, but I learned many valuable lessons that I'd like to share. These are lessons that will help you with parenting and mom burnout.
I sent my kids away this summer and was looking forward to some quality time-off from "momming." What I experienced was a shift from in-person to long-distance momming, as I dealt with two of my kids struggling while away from home.
Coincidentally, I was reading a book called The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Jonathan Haidt & Greg Lukianoff.
This book addresses many topics parents need to know about the kids of "Gen Z/I-Gen." I only scratch the surface of the information in the book in this episode; there is so much more. I recommend you read the book yourself, it's well worth the time.
One concept that I found relevant to my summer experience was new to me: "Safetyism." The authors of the book define safetyism as a culture or belief system in which safety (which includes "emotional safety") has become a sacred value, which means that people become unwilling to make trade-offs demanded by other practical and moral concerns.
It is through Safetyism that modern parents are perpetuating fragility in our kids and, ironically, making our kids less safe. In my opinion, the helicopter parenting, overparenting, etc. that goes hand in hand with Safetyism is doing something else: it's exhausting us and burning us out.
In this episode I go over how I personally applied concepts from the book The Coddling of the American Mind to my kids over the summer.
John Robert's Commencement speech "We wish you bad luck" https://youtu.be/pqzbEGA3x2I
Note: next episode I will be discussing Patriarchy Stress Disorder as written about in the book by Valerie Rein.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Summer is upon us and it's time to take the ultimate mom break. How? By sending your kids to camp. Preferably sleep away camp. I can't think of a better way to push the escape button on momming. We're talking up to 7 weeks without kids!!!
In this episode I discuss my personal experience deciding to send my kids to sleep away camp. I address the mom guilt that many feel and recommend a book that helped me a lot: Homesick and Happy By: Michael Thompson, PhD
To help even more with the mom guilt relating to outsourcing some momming, we discuss Chapter 15 of "Hunt, Gather, Parent" by Michaeleen Doucleff PhD to review how throughout history humans have turned to others to help raise their kids. This is not a one mom job. It takes a village. If you don't have a village to help you, camp is a great substitute.
Finally, I announce a summer reading assignment: Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Valerie Rein, PhD
I will be taking a break from the BMB podcast for July & August but will return in September when we will talk about Patriarchy Stress Disorder and how, as written on the cover, it is "the invisible barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment."
Have a relaxing summer everyone! See you in September!
-Sabra
xo
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
As moms, our time and energy is undervalued. We give it away without question. We give our families carte blanche over our schedules, our time, our energy. I know that’s how it was in my house in the past. The kids needed something, they’d ask and I’d drop everything to deliver. Whether they wanted to do an activity, get a ride somewhere, go out to dinner ... they asked and I made it happen. But this approach wasn't sustainable and it led to ... you guessed it ... burnout. I have limited time and energy and if I don't value it then nobody else will. Mom math is a way we can quantify our time so that we can value it more.
Mentioned in the episode:The 2012 Netflix show "Old Enough"
https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279We take a look at the amazing toddlers featured in the show and discuss how kids are so much more capable than we give them credit for.
Saturday Night Live skit mentioned in the episode:
https://youtu.be/VhGTtWsW9F8
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
In this episode I talk to my personal Beach Body coach, Hod Rubenstein, about the role that exercise has played in helping her manage her mom burnout and how others can do the same.
Hod Rubenstein knows the way out of Mom Burnout. She introduced me to the power of exercise to manage stress which was my turning point out of burnout.
Join Hod and me for an intimate discussion about how and why exercise has been the key to keeping her sanity throughout motherhood. We take a deep dive into what has officially become Step 1 to banish mom burnout: to lift weights and exercise.
Who is Hod Rubenstein? Hod has been my Beach Body coach since 2017, but more than that she has been a close friend since we were at Tufts University together in the early '90s. Hod later got her Masters in Social Work from Columbia University, became the mother of two amazing kids who are now teens and then ventured into a career in nursing. She has become an accomplished nurse and has continued to be a dear friend. Her perspectives on using exercise to manage the stress of motherhood is what got me through Step 1 of banishing my burnout. I am excited to share her wisdom in this episode.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
A mother should be a force to be reckoned with. Think … mama bear, think lioness, think queen bee… they are the fiercest and most powerful of all animals. Yet, we have taken a step backward. Somewhere along the way we’ve lost the alpha piece of us, the part where we are powerful alpha leaders.
Somewhere along the way we have become servants to our families, our children. Our homes are run like a hotel where the mom is staff, and the other members of the household are guests. Why? A big piece of it is because of internalized patriarchy. We are repressing our own authority. We are burying ourselves in a cycle of inequality.
I’m sure you’ve known something strange is going on here, you can feel it, but you can’t see it. And you don’t know a way out. That’s where I come in – to help women, to help moms, find their power.
In this episode we shine a light on internal patriarchy by identifying three manifestations of it in modern motherhood and we discuss what to do about it.
Book mentioned in the podcast:The Gift of Fear - Gavin de Becker
Other recommended books on patriarchy:Patriarchy Stress Disorder-Valerie Rein PhD
Down Girl- Kate Manne
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Modern Motherhood Misunderstanding #2:
"It’s my job to make my kids comfortable and happy."
Moms, this is false!
The scope of modern motherhood has gone off the rails. Many of us focus on our kid's comfort and happiness at the expense of helping them become independent. A mom’s job is to raise the next generation of independent and capable human adults. That’s the job description.
The role of the modern mom has mutated to an impossible place. From a burnout perspective – of course we’re exhausted. The job has been quadrupled. My advice – realize what is your job and what is not your job. When life happens and your child is faced with a difficulty, which is actually a learning opportunity, realize you don't have to step in and get involved. Of course, coach and guide, but it's not your job to fix everything for them. Let's stop overmomming and use that energy to prevent mom burnout. It's better for us and for our kids. Listen to this episode to find out why.
Book and Show References -
PBS Documentary reference - Animal Babies: First Year on Earth: Season 1 Episode 2
The Self Driven Child - William Stixrud & Ned Johnson
https://www.amazon.com/The-Self-Driven-Child-audiobook/dp/B0797ZV1RJ
Hunt, Gather, Parent - Written by Michaeleen Doucleff https://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures/dp/1982149671
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Modern Motherhood Misunderstanding #1:
"In order to be a good mom, you must put yourself last."
My message to the moms out there spending their precious energy on everyone but themselves … you don't have to put yourself last to be a good mom. In fact, everyone will do better once you start prioritizing yourself.
It’s time to start the personal revolution of stopping the madness and starting to take care of yourself really, really well. Not from a place of selfishness, but from the realization that you’re a crucial part of the family and when you’re not doing well, everyone suffers. So let's make sure you're doing well!
Beating yourself down into an exhausted, unhappy, unfulfilled presence in the home isn’t helping anyone. It’s not helping you, that’s clear … but it’s also not helping your partner or your kids. Nobody is winning.
Fulfilling YOUR needs first strengthens you and IS the way to, big picture, be there for your kids. And so, to get to the result of being the best mom possible – your action step is for you – the mom – to create the best life possible for yourself thereby being in a better position to teach, guide, and coach the other people in your home how to do the same for themselves.
Books referenced in the episode:The 10X Rule - Grant Cardone
https://www.amazon.com/10X-Rule-Difference-Between-Success/dp/0470627603The Self Driven Child - William Stixrud & Ned Johnson
https://www.amazon.com/The-Self-Driven-Child-audiobook/dp/B0797ZV1RJInstagram referenced in the episode:
https://www.instagram.com/eatingheryoung/PBS Documentary reference - Animal Babies: First Year on Earth: Season 1 Episode 3
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Motherhood is a marathon not a sprint and the quality of your motherhood will depend on how well you’re taking care of yourself.
We give our bodies, homes, money and our lives to motherhood. It’s a lot.
What we’re doing in this podcast is building a toolbox for you to use to survive and thrive through motherhood. We have gone over exercise, lifting weights, delegating tasks, claiming financial equality, stopping overmomming and investing in your life outside of motherhood. We are now adding mom burnout prevention Step Number 5 which entails resting and recovering, getting enough sleep, napping when possible, and using other restorative methods like mindfulness and meditation.
Book mentioned in this episode:
www.ariannahuffington.com/the-sleep-revolution
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
I discovered the hard way that losing myself to motherhood doesn’t pan out well. I use to think of my role as a mom as defining me. This made me overbearing. I was never doing enough and I focused on my kids with microscopic precision. I blew everything that happened to them up like it was a huge deal. I made kids problems into adult problems. I put a lot of pressure on myself and on them. In the process, I lost myself.
Without balance, with excessive focus on my role as a mom, many problems were created. Among other things, "overmomming" led to depletion and burnout. I needed to gain some balance. Step 4 to banishing mom burnout is to do this by rebuilding you life outside of motherhood.
Books sited in the episode:Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD
Homesick and Happy by Michael Thompson, PhD
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/banishingmomburnoutpodcast
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Closing the gap of inequality in household finances is an important factor in decreasing the flames of mom burnout. I can attest to this personally, because in the past there was a very large gap of financial inequality in the way money was managed and used in my house. When I was living with financial inequality, I felt like I was being taken advantage of. I gave and gave and gave, rarely replenishing my cup. This led to unhappiness and resentment.
With all these negative feelings, I got triggered more easily, and I engaged in buffering – over-drinking and overeating. When I was not valuing myself, not taking care of myself mentally and physically, I was ripe to fall into a cycle of depletion and this led to - you guessed it - burnout!
Yes, the flames of burnout can be traced directly to the money gap! Closing the money gap is about more than just money. It’s about your identity, your mental health, the quality of your motherhood and the stability of your marriage. Most of all, it’s about getting out of the depleting, exhausting, inferno of mom burnout.
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
A significant barrier to exercise and pretty much everything you want to be doing… one of the main causes of burnout is your household.
Having an amazing family, home, all the right circumstances in your life, it isn’t enough. You must be managing it all in a way that doesn’t consume you. In order to enjoy motherhood, and to be empowered by it, you must find a way to do it in a way that doesn’t deplete and exhaust you.
It’s easy to become vulnerable to burnout because of our topic for today: household responsibilities. You see, household tasks, if we let them, can take over our lives completely.
The job of managing a household in modern times - it’s just too big of a job for one person to do on their own. There simply aren’t enough hours in one person’s day. The price you pay for doing it all - your sanity, your free time, your self-care, and more.
In this episode we look at step #2 to banish mom burnout, delegating household tasks.Friendly Reminder: Always use good judgement when delegating tasks to young people/children. Remember that safety always comes first!
Book reference from this episode, if you'd like to take a closer look: https://www.workclean.com
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For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier -
Here you are in the thick of it all. Maybe it feels like your toddler is running the household and all you want is for mealtime to go smoothly. Maybe your struggles are with an older child about screen time, and you would do anything for them to unplug. Or maybe you have a teenager who is impossible to be around, grumpy all the time.
Here is something I know for sure - whatever motherhood throws at you, you’re going to be better able to handle it if you’re taking care of yourself.
So, how do you ensure that you’re doing this? Let’s embark on the solution.
I have identified 5 hotspots in modern motherhood that need to be addressed. Today we’re going to deal with the first one. I am going to give you your first actionable step that is going to get you on your way out of the depletion.
Step 1 - The very first thing to do to extinguish mom burnout is lift weights 3 times/week.
That’s right. Lifting weights, a minimum of 3 times/week, is the first step in beginning to end the madness of being exhausted and depleted from motherhood.
I’m sure you’re aware that there are about a zillion reasons why exercising, specifically lifting weights, is good for you - but in this podcast we’re going to understand this on a whole new level, we’re going to focus specifically on reasons why lifting weights is the first step to extinguishing mom burnout.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier
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Motherhood in the 2020s, or what I have termed “modern motherhood” is a very big job. This is the version of motherhood that you and I are in right now. It’s the motherhood with extremely challenging issues like social media, ADD, anxiety, depression, food allergies oh and most recently Covid.
The sparks of many issues are out there. And without the right skills, flames ignite. If you don’t know how to manage all of this, motherhood will scald and sear. This can all feel very daunting if you don’t know how to tame the flames. And these flames are the flames that lead to burnout!
Sometimes your level of mom burnout is obvious, but sometimes it just looks like plain emptiness. Like you have nothing left to give.
In this episode we go over the three degrees of burnout in modern motherhood: The Hot Mess Mom, The Sometimes Together Mom & The Good on Paper Mom.
The good news is that regardless of the degree of your mom burnout, I know how to extinguish the flames.
Join me for this foundational episode of Banishing Mom Burnout, as we begin your journey out of the depleting vortex of exhaustion motherhood has become and claim the empowered motherhood you've been dreaming about.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier
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Motherhood, in theory, should be wonderful. It’s the most natural thing in the world. Every living thing on this planet has a mother! But if you’re listening to this podcast, you are likely experiencing a special flavor of motherhood, the one I've been in. Let’s call this version “modern motherhood.” This is the motherhood with postpartum depression, sleep training, social media, gluten, ADD, anxiety, food allergies and most recently, Covid. The sparks of many issues are out there. And without the right skills, flames will ignite. If you don’t know how to manage this, motherhood will scald and sear and can burn you alive.
How do you know if you have Mom Burnout?
You feel like a servant in your own home You aren’t taking care of your body Your finances are not organized. You don’t have the time or energy to manage them. You don’t feel good about your relationships with family You engage in overeating, overdrinking, over shopping, or business to cope Your life is hyper focused on your role as a caretaker and there is little room for your own needs You are having a hard time with work/life balance. You feel overwhelmed You have a deep scary feeling that you're lost Underneath it all you are unhappy more of the time than you want to admitWell Moms, I’m here to tell you amazing news! There is a way out! I’ve experienced the worst of this. My burnout charred me all the way to clinical depression. I was overweight, overdrinking, and this led to … not the best conditions to care for myself or the other people in my house.
But I found a way to extinguish the burn. I’ve healed relationships, I’ve lost the excess weight and I stopped drinking alcohol. I've also I started a business where I get to live my life’s purpose and passion while making money. In this podcast, I'm going to help you reclaim yourself so that you can get out of volcanic motherhood hell and are able to enjoy motherhood.
This is not your mother’s motherhood ladies; the circumstances have changed. This one can become an inferno. But there IS a way to tame the flames. If you want to find out how, join me here in the Banishing Mom Burnout podcast! I will see you soon!
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For more information and available downloads, please visit our website at https://www.sabralifecoaching.com/
© 2022 Sabra Staudenmaier
