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Is asking for help a sign of weakness? As mums, we don’t like to ask for help, and I know definitely I didn’t like to ask. We worried that others might judge us that we are not managing and failing as mothers. I have been there when I was putting so much pressure on myself that asking for help was the last resource before I would explode. How has my perception changed? Listen to this episode.
Here are the highlights:
{01:03} I never used to like to ask for help.
{03:16} Being a brand-new mum is like starting a new job without guidance and mentoring.
{05:35} We don’t want anyone to tell us how to bring our children.
{07:16} Why did I push myself to these limits?
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Kirsty who is a Business Online Coach, Mindset and NLP Master well as speaker and podcaster told me a story of a young girl who just found out that she was expecting and she had to decide what to do with her life.
The significant shift in her life happened when she decided to create her own business that could give her the flexibility of being a mum and entrepreneur.
Fast for a few years, she loves helping women in business in a holistic way, and being a mum gave her the reason to do it.
Here are the highlights:
{01:50} I have quite an interesting story about going into motherhood.
{04:10} It wasn’t easy and then was always a reason why not.
{07:26} You can treat anything as an excuse not to or an excuse to do it.
{10:28} It's important what we are modeling to our children.
{13:09} I think one thing that I got but not everyone has but we all should make sure that we have a supportive partner.
{17:55} You are just stuck in the cycle.
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How many of you mums feel responsible for contributing to your household? Is maternity pay good enough that you can stay longer at home? What happens when maternity is finished, and you feel like your lifestyle might suffer because you only have one income?
In many cases, mothers have to return to work because with the new way of living, inflation, and the percentage of rates going higher we feel that we have to return to work even if we don’t really want to. It happened to me too when we invested all our savings and because I was a salon owner, I had a lot of overheads to pay I had to return when my daughter was only 10 days old.
However fast forward a few years now I chose to work from home around my children.
Here are the highlights:
{01:19} One income it’s not enough for the lifestyle we want.
{03:25} My husband’s paternity was better paid than my self-employed statuary maternity pay.
{06:18} It's still such an old fashion way of being a mum.
{08:40} You should decide for yourself and you should have a right to make that decision.
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Tracy who was a nurse for 23 years, decided to leave nursing when her son was two and a half. She understood then that she had the flexibility to work the way she wanted around her baby and family needs. She knows that if she stayed in nursing she would have more mum guilt, but now she can be available for her child when he needs her.
Tracy is the creator of a Personally Organised company, as well she helps her husband with his recording studio and they are the owners of proprieties. She is genuinely passionate about her business and about helping her clients. Tracy also wants to get a qualification in NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) to ensure that she can help her clients not only organise houses but also help them deeper into the psychological level to allow them to live their fulfilling life free from clutter.
Here are the highlights:
{02:00} Entrepreneur was never my intention.
{04:20} Soon I will be doing NLP qualifications to help my clients even more.
{08:13} A lot of my brand values of my business is to recycle and repurpose.
{11:10} I remember when I was little, my grandma told me that she will never come to my house because it will be very messy.
{13:08} It takes a bit organisation and our house is really well organised.
{17:00} There is no security of you having a job because you can be redounded at any time.
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We are teaching our children to eat well, but we are forgetting about our bodies and health. There were times when I didn’t have time to eat, and I transform my stomach into a bin. I don’t like to waste food and of course, I teach my children to not waste either. Instead to sit and eat I was hovering over leftovers. I was tired, I was low, I was gaining unwanted weight and I felt depressed. I forgot how important is to eat properly. The big changes in my life happened when my friend introduced me to a detox plan.
Here are the highlights:
{01:21} I remember the times when I was eating leftovers.
{03:51} I was introduced to the detox plan and that changed my life.
{05:40} Do you actually eat enough?
{07:26} I didn’t have to think!
{09:30} Why does the detox work?
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Loretta who is the Director and Lead Trainer at Loretta Douglas Training and Coaching. As well she is a Trainer of NLP, Time Line Therapy, and Hypnosis. After her third child was born, she found herself having a lot of health challenges, which follow with the decision to give up her teaching carrier at the head department after 12 years. The decision wasn’t easy but she had to look after herself first. She was lucky and so grateful that she got another business related to skin care called Templespa, which allowed her to still created income and work around her family life. However, something wasn’t right and she felt lonely, and get to the stage where she crashed.
Now Loretta is most passionate about transforming people's lives, find out why.
Here are the highlights:
{01:40} When we become a mum, and in the general parent, we tend to put others first.
{04:09} I was literally like a busy bee.
{07:01} You have a choice in everything you do!
{12:28} I found myself after having my third child, in a place where I was experiencing a lot of health challenges.
{16:11} I decided to give up my teaching carrier after 12 years.
{19:25} I went quiet for a wee bit and then rolled into a short period of depression.
{22:05} I chose to invest in me!
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How much guilt as mothers can we carry?
As an Entrepreneur and mum of three experienced guilt on many levels. However, one day I decided to find out where that emotion came from, so I looked into my childhood and I realised that guilt is sown a long time before we become mothers. Then expand to the level that we can’t cope with.
Here are the highlights:
{00:50} As a mum who is an entrepreneur, I have a lot of guilt.
{02:57} I couldn’t fulfill my work.
{04:29} How is your guilt mum, when your second baby it’s on its way?
{06:45} Another guilt regards breastfeeding.
{08:48} The guilt will always be there till…
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10 years ago, Jill who is a mum of three, was happy to work part-time as a chiropractor assistant. Her life changed when the recession hit and her part-time job stop existing.
Then she was introduced to new business opportunities by working from home. She jumped to try something completely different because she didn’t have anything to lose. Since then, she never looked back, because she achieved the perfect work-life balance, experiences, and income that she never dreamed about it.
Here are the highlights:
{01:16} For me as young mum part-time work was the best of both worlds.
{02:38} Forever Found me!
{04:05} 10 years on…
{06:57} when there was a lot of fear around many industries and people's homes, I didn’t have that.
{12:56} Is it a pyramid? Is it a scam?
{18:20} Can you imagine?
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When we become mum, we are losing our identity, we are losing the person we used to be. It’s very difficult to understand because we might do so many things for our family and children but where is the time for “ME”, for Patrycja?
What happened was that I lost so much confidence and mentally I couldn’t cope.
How my perception has changed between my first and my last child. What made me different and should I be different from each of my children?
Here are the highlights:
{00:40} Who is “ME”, as a mum?
{02:35} I thought that I wasn’t a good mummy for my first child.
{04:25} I lost so much confidence.
{06:00} Mentally I couldn’t cope.
{07:20} I totally forgot about myself.
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Michelle is a beauty therapist with 20 years of experience and is currently running her own business and working with network marketing at Neal’s Yard Remedies Organic. However most important, she is a mum to two boys and her children are the reason for everything she does in her life. She goes out of her comfort zones and works on personal development because she believes that everything we do create an imprint on our children.
Michelle is happy to say that everything works so well for her, especially during the pandemic her network marketing business was keeping her busy with her clients.
Here are the highlights:
{01:15} I incorporate network marketing with my beauty business to create time for my family.
{03:30} My kids are the reason for everything.
{06:26} I really needed an income.
{09:56} Your whole life totally changes.
{12:48} Face the Fear.
{15:30} I love that side of personal development.
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What way do we behave, when we return to work after maternity?
Is a “Baby Brain” real or just a saying? In my case with three of my babies, it's a completely different scenario.
When we return to work, we have to act and behave exactly the same as before regards the situation that our body growing human beings for nine to ten months, our hormonal state is all over the place, and stress and lack of sleep. As employees or self-employers, we put so much pressure on ourselves to perform on the same level in our tasks and jobs as before.
Should we feel sorry for ourselves or just get on with it?
Here are the highlights:
{00:53} After my three babies “Baby Brain” is a completely different story.
{02:43} Instinct of a mother is to look after her baby.
{04:10} We are fighting with our instinct.
{07:00} When I returned to work, I really didn’t know what I was doing.
{09:15} Physically and Mentally I didn’t want to be there.
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For my guest Alexandra who is a true Entrepreneur her children are her world, and inspiration in everything she does. She does both, work full-time in the corporate world, however, when her children were born she discovered that as being working mum there wasn't any support for her and mothers like her.
When she was listening to other coaches, the only what she heard was pushing mothers to achieve the best results in business carrier and ideas of breaking that glass ceiling however she was thinking about how everyday mums cope.
Then she decided to invest in her new business to focus on working mothers, to help them with day-by-day routines and schedules alongside working full time and being a mum.
Here are the highlights:
{01:04} My children are absolutely my world and drive everything I do.
{01:30} No support for an everyday working mum.
{03:30} If something doesn’t feel right, I don’t move with it.
{08:18} There are loads of reasons why we return to work.
{13:45} We grow “humans”
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It is a very simple question; however, do we know the answer to it?
What is meant to invest yourself, mum? For each of us, it would be something completely different.
For some mums, it would be an investment in their beauty regime, health, personal development, style, or business. There are many options, however, when we are becoming a mum, we become that word “mother”, who is looking after everyone around us except herself. We forget that self-care is so important to be a happy and fulfilled mum.
I was lucky enough that at a young age, I understood how important an investment in “ME” is on the personal development and business level, however, I forgot about self-care.
Here are the highlights:
{01:18} After a baby is born “Mother” become a word that…
{02:28} You never hear “Well, how are you”?
{03:26} When there were very dark moments in my life, I knew what to do.
{04:20} I understood the importance of investment in my own mind and mental stage.
{05:14} If you didn’t invest in yourself before you had children, then after is even more difficult to be aware of how important it is.
{06:36} Sometimes I still think that we live in a different century.
{08:42} Self-care is not selfish.
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12 months, 9 months, 6 months, 3 months, or maybe 10 days? And then what?
Depends on where you work and how lucky you are with your maternity pay mum. Unfortunately, I had to return to work when my first baby was 10 days old, yes, I know I don’t know how I did manage that. However, it doesn’t matter how old your baby is the anxiety separation always will take place.
When the baby is born, we as mums don’t want to even think about returning to work and what emotions will associate with that process. I can tell you it crashed me however at the start I thought that I was ok. I was so wrong.
Listen to find out about my story.
Here are the highlights:
{00:56} How lucky you will be with your maternity leave?
{02:25} My baby was 10 days old!
{03:53} If you tell yourself that you don’t have a choice.
{05:10} My head wasn’t in the right place.
{06:15} Trauma just hit me.
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Guest - Lisa Feenan
Mum of five children, ages 19 years old to three. A qualified teacher who after her fourth child was born with a rear neurological condition, decided to take a carrier brake to look after Thomas who at that time needed 24 daycare.
At the beginning of the lockdown, she was introduced to Network Marketing by her friend, a company called Tropic.
Two years on she found a new passion for skin care, and extra income to support her family but most important she found herself.
Listen to the inspirational story of mum how said yes to the opportunity that was offered to her.
Here are the highlights:
{01:25} At the beginning of the lockdown a new opportunity appeared.
{02:35} “I was lost”.
{03:35} “We just do it!”
{10:40} “I really enjoy it; I love it sharing my business with my followers”
{13:25} “No routine in this house”
{16:10} “I can treat my family and myself, I have that disposable income”
{18:20} You can be your own boss on your own terms.
If you want to know more, connect with me and even work with me, visit my website:
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The Boss Mum podcast is, designed to inspire, give ideas and opportunities to mums who want more from their lives.
I want to show you the ups and downs and true stories about mothers who follow their successful journey of having it all.
My passion is to mentor and serve mothers with my knowledge, energy, mindfulness, and life experience.
I believe all mothers deserve a chance for self-development, self-care, independence, a secure, stable future, and a happy life following a successful career path.
If you want to know more, connect with me and even work with me, visit my website:
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