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In this final episode of Series 1 of the Circle Holding Podcast, Julia and Tessa reflect on what they learnt from the diverse circle facilitators who were interviewed. They also look back on their own experiences of being in circle and holding space, remembering magical moments and some challenging ones!
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In this episode, Julia and Andy covered:
• Participatory democracy is about a deeper level of democracy e.g. Citizen’s assembly to listen to diverse voices and find common solutions
• Danger of spiritual bypassing when engaged in spiritual practices at the expense of everyday relationships in society
• ‘Deep democracy’ tries to draw inner voices into democratic process as microcosm of outer world
• Talking in circle ‘until the obvious arises’ leads to real solutions
• Facilitator balances aim of meeting with making people comfortable to take part
• Appreciative enquiry to use imagination through crafts or drawing so that people have chance to express themselves through different methods
• Dynamic facilitation to reflect back what you’ve heard and to create a safe space where creative solutions can emerge rather than fighting about different opinions
• Diversity in facilitators to match diversity of participants and to ensure that there isn’t a power imbalance
• Parliament as opposite of circle holding – paradigms that current society build on makes collaboration harder -
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In this episode with Liz of Becoming Mums, we covered:
• The importance of having co-facilitators to support with the skills to read the room and create a permissive atmosphere
• How being clear about what your demographic needs is more important than what you want to do (and will help you get funding)
• Talking to existing organisations or projects that work with your demographic to see how they work and what gaps in provision there are so you’re not reinventing the wheel but creating allies
• The importance of paying artists a proper fee for their time in providing a creative aspect to your circle and how creating can support talking
• How you as a facilitator create the structure for the space, but then get out of the way of where the talking wants to go: it’s not about your agency but the people who are there
• Having shared experience / being a peer makes all the difference when inviting speakers to a circle
• How as a facilitator there might come a time when it’s right to move on because you’re no longer in the demographic
• Creating community and connections is what underpins change in society -
In this episode, we covered:
Talking circles are called by different names, including conversation circles, listening circles, sharing circles and groups (women's groups, men's groups, girl's groups)
Circle time can be very straight forward or contain lots of ceremony - it depends on the purpose and the demographic
Ceremony can be missing in many people's lives and be enriching
Having familiar words or practices (or rituals) can create a sense of safety and familiarity that helps settle people's nervous systems
There's space for all sorts of different circles
If you're unsure about going to one, contact the facilitator and ask what the circle is like -
In this episode, Julia and Lee covered:
• How men are often attracted to circle when they’re at crisis point
• The application process for the closed group after being part of an open one
• The structure of the meeting allows deep sharings to happen: ‘freedom within form’
• How he provides several opportunities to talk, with longer each time for more depth
• Silence can be part of a person’s allotted time
• Structure, intention and timeframe are three important aspects to consider
• Rites of passage for men include grief and facing fear
• Working with 14-16 year old boys involves matching then with a ‘man of trust’ who has done his own work
• It’s important to attend a circle yourself as a facilitator and have your own self-practice
• Toxic masculinity is toxic terminology – there is zero tolerance to sexist, racist or homophobic language, but use of it rarely happens in circle
• Lee shares how to do an introduction to a men’s circle and a settling practice -
In this episode, Julia and Tessa covered:
The hidden costs and time spent in running a talking circle
Avoiding facilitator burnout by being compensated for your time
Different models for running a listening circle
Getting funding to make the circle free for participants to attend
Experiences of trying to run a circle by donation -
In this episode with Jane Bennett, we covered:
• How a circle format can work well for sensitive topics in general and to differentiate it from puberty lessons in school in particular
• We talked about how having a conversation before the circle can help manage expectations of what will happen
• How circle time can lessen feelings of shame or embarrassment and increase positivity around taboo subjects
• When crafts or other ways of keeping hands and eyes busy can be advantageous
• Why the process of normalising talking about difficult subjects is so important and how circle facilitators achieve that
• How you adapt for the people attending the circle, with the example of dads attending Fathers Celebrating Daughters events
• A fantastic tip for new (and old) facilitators on the importance of taking time to be present. -
In this episode about listening with Julia and Tessa, we covered:
The importance of the listener being attuned and not having an agenda
How wonderful when listening is reciprocal and the listener isn’t trying to fix anything
The signs of someone not listening to you
How to do a Listening Partnership
The joy of a longer term listening partnership
That self-worth can grow as someone feels their voice is important -
In this episode, Julia and Ben covered:
• How breathwork can be transformation and does involve deep feelings and going to somone’s edge
• Breathwork is not regulated but you can check whether facilitators are signed up to the voluntary organisation Global Professional Breathwork Alliance (GPBA)
• There are two main aspects in facilitation: framing (doing, the structure, organisation) and the felt sense, which guides you to know when to push someone, when to ease off, when to offer touch (with consent)
• Breathwork session can be really different, rather than knowing the exact number of people to have in a session, the size of the venue etc, the important aspect is to have structure in place and then follow your felt sense
• It’s important to think about comfort and be welcoming because people want to belong
• Good to include fun at the beginning of a session to reduce awkwardness and break the ice.
• Ben shares an example of a light hearted icebreaker that also is a corridor to deeper feelings. -
In this episode, we look at the common fear of new circle facilitators around managing big, raw feelings and diverse personalities. We discuss the balance between all feelings being welcome and allowing time for everyone to speak, between people being they're authentic self whether they tend to talk (a lot) or be very quiet and encouraging all to speak.
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In this episode we talked about:
• How co-facilitation can flow
• How preparation is key in forming the container to hold space and arrive empty to attune to what happens in the gathering
• How holding space is a creative process that also creates a new you
• A held space is a safe one, but also an emergent space for something new to happen
• That inner work is an essential part of being a facilitator
• Allowing your humanness is a gift to others when you are a facilitator and humanness in leadership is radical
• Bringing compassion to facilitation is essential because we will make mistakes. -
In this episode we will be talking about the role of the circle facilitator.
When we talk to people about our book we are often asked the question: What is circle holding or holding space?
When we dreamed up the title we knew exactly of the book we wanted a step-by-step approach as you can see from the subtitle: "A Practical Guide to Facilitating Talking Circles" clarified our intention.
Included in this overview is the following:
*It is about having someone who takes responsibility for the space
* As the facilitator you will have to make decisions about who speaks, for how long and when
*Sometimes you might have to interrupt people and that is why there is a level of skill involved in the role
*If you are already a teacher, group talking therapist, group coach, manager or space holder in other areas you are likely to have gained some of the skills required for talking circle and be drawn to doing this -
In this episode, Julia talks to Lee Keylock of Narrative 4 and they covered:
* Storytelling around controversial topics build community through revealing nuance
* How exactly Narrative 4’s Story Exchange works through experiencing radical empathy in circle
* That empathy starts with the courage and generosity to try to listen
* Hearing your story told by someone else lets you see it in a new light
* Facilitation is key to handle the emotional space and a co-facilitator helps keep the flow going
* That there is nothing soft about the skill of facilitation and it improves through practice
* Working with and learning from local leaders who already have people’s trust. -
This week we will be answering the question what is circle?
A circle is a tool that can be used in a whole variety of contexts, some of which you will hear about in other episodes.
In its purest form it is: In person, a group of people sitting in a circle who can all see and hear each other each having the opportunity to listen and talk.
Online it is a group of people who can do the same however the people tend to be in boxes rather than an actual circle.
There is a structure to circle holding and usually guidelines. We have created a whole episode about respectful listening. The basics are that you are creating a space where all participants have the opportunity to speak and be listened to respectfully.
There is usually at least one person who is taking responsibility for the group of people who have gathered. When that happens that is when it becomes a talking circle.
You can have spontaneous talking around a fire or at a picnic. Although the benefits of those circles can be great, what is different about a talking circle is that the space has been created with intention.
If you are new to circle circle holding it can be a fantastic experience and very valuable in and of itself. Putting simple guidelines in place for a talking circle can make a huge difference. -
This episode will be reassuring for new circle facilitators and get lots of nods of recognition from experienced ones. In this episode we talked about:
- Imposter syndrome is normal when moving from 121 to group work
- The difference between a leader, teacher and facilitator
- How you grow capacity to hold space as you do it
- That it’s normal for group process to be messy
- The more you bring yourself as a person to facilitation, the more you enable others to
- Having a clear intention for your circle is paramount
- You don't want the inner critic driving the bus! -
In this episode, Julia and Tessa introduce themselves through:
* the circles they've attended,
* how they met
* their favourite circle stories from the book
* why they wrote the book -
The first episode will drop on 1st September.
