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With divorce rates rising among people who are over 50, many of today's children of divorce are adults themselves- often with families of their own. Divorcing couples often assume their grown-up kids are "just fine." But these "invisible children of divorce" are impacted just as profoundly as their younger counterparts, often in surprising and complex ways. Kate is joined by psychologist Lisa Herrick, PhD, who shares important tips for older divorcing parents and their adult children.
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Dividing finances in divorce- most separating couples dread it. After all, when you got married you didn't imagine having to discuss dividing all the assets you acquired during your marriage. Suddenly, the person you once shared a life with feels like an adversary. But it doesn't have to be so hard. Most people don't know that there are financial professionals with specific expertise in shepherding couples through this tough terrain in ways that can lessen anxiety, reduce conflict, answer crucial questions, generate new creative options, and take into account the needs of the entire family-- now and into the future. Divorce financial expert extraordinaire Debora May, CPA, CFP©, CDFA© joins Kate for an important and informative conversation.
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If you’re a divorcing parent, worries about how the split will affect your kids is probably the most upsetting and scary part of the whole experience. You have lots of questions, including "Is there anything I can do to make sure my divorce doesn’t have a permanent negative impact on my children's development? According to our guest today, Dr. Lisa Herrick, the answer is a resounding "yes!"
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Even before the pandemic, divorcing couples struggled with the questions "What should we do with the house?" and "Where should each of us live?" Now, divorcing couples (many of whom have been trapped under the same roof for over two years) are struggling to understand the impact of Covid on such issues as finding (and qualifying for) the right mortgage, dealing with credit problems, understanding inflated property values, deciding whether to rent or buy, the implications of rising interest rates, and the the potential implications of temporarily inflated or deflated incomes-- to name just a few. In this episode Kate talks to mortgage broker Margie Hofberg, who shares clear, reassuring, important and often surprising tips you need to know right now (before you sign your separation or divorce agreement), so you can ensure a smooth transition from one household to two.
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Who’s afraid of the big bad prenup? Well, if you’re getting married probably you. So you might
be surprised to learn that crafting a pre-nup should be a positive experience- one that strengthens the bond between you and your future spouse and sets you on a road to a happy, healthy marriage. Attorney Suzy Eckstein joins Kate to explain. -
If you're getting separated or divorced, where you'll each live is one of your biggest concerns. You have questions, like: "Can one of us keep the house?"; "Should one of us buy the other out?"; "How do we figure out what our house is worth?"; "Can I qualify for a mortgage, and what can I do to increase my chances?"; "What if I have been out of the job market for years?", and "If I don't keep the house, should I rent or buy?" Mortgage professional Margie Hofberg has over 15 years' experience helping separating and divorcing people to navigate this often anxiety-producing process. In this episode she shares helpful, reassuring, important and often surprising tips you need right now (before you sign your Separation or Divorce Agreement!) --to ensure that your transition from one household to two goes as smoothly as possible.
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What steps can you take to make sure your divorce doesn't cause permanent damage to your child's development? Psychologist and divorce expert Dr. Lisa Herrick joins us to discuss what we can learn from the latest research on the impact of divorce on children of all ages, including how to identify "risk factors" and implement "protective strategies" -- so that your divorce can remain a sad memory rather than a bad developmental turning point.
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Collabortive Divorce is an an out-of-court way to resolve your divorce disputes in a respectful, non-adversarial manner. Never heard of Collaborative Divorce? Heard of it, but want to know more? In this episode Kate and Jane are again joined by family law attorney Suzy Eckstein. Together they explain and demystify the important aspects of Collabortive Divorce-- what it is, how it works, and what makes it different from all other divorce process options. They address common questions and concerns, such as "What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce and mediation?", "How much does Collaborative Divorce cost?", "My spouse and I communicate pretty well, do we really need Collaborative Divorce?", "Is it true that if I end up having to go to court I'll lose my lawyer?", "What if my ex isn't the collaborative sort?", "What if I have a secret I don't want to disclose?", "What if I'm worried my spouse is hiding something?", "What if my spouse is abusing drugs?", "What if there is violence in our family?", and more.
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You've decided to get divorced (or your spouse has decided for you)... Where to begin? In this episode Kate and Jane are joined by experienced family law attorney Suzy Epstein. Together they take on the confusing questions "How can I find a good divorce lawyer who is right for me?", and "What are the the different ways to get divorced?" They then address other frequently asked questions, including "How much is this going to cost, and can I get my spouse to pay for it?, "How long is this going to take?", "How can I get my spouse to move out?", "What if my spouse takes me to court?", "Do we have to get attorneys?", "Can we make do with one attorney?", "What is the difference between mediation and Collaborative Divorce?"... and many more.
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If you're newly separated or divorced, the holidays can be tough. Especially if you have kids, you'll struggle with many questions, such as: "How can I surivive holiday time without my kids?", "How can I maintain or create new traditions on my own?", "How can I share kid time with my ex, and should we still celebrate some things "as a family?", "How will I cope with the loss of in-laws?", and "Will friends include me now that I'm on my own?" In this episode Kate and Jane share some of their own experiences navigating holidays (and other important "firsts") after their own divorces, and offer practical and emotional tips for doing well in this potential painful time.
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If you're newly separated or divorced, the holidays can be particularly tough- fraught with feelings of loss, loneliness, alienation and destabilization. It can seem that while everyone you know is having a magical family experience, you're struggling alone to find your place as an unpartnered person. In this episode Kate and Jane offer advice for navigating the holidays-- and other significant post-split "firsts"- while maintaining your sanity and beginning to design a new path forward.
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For most divorcing parents, breaking the news to their kids is one the most upsetting parts of the experience. What, when and how to tell them? How to ease their pain? What if you and your future ex can't agree on a message? Take a breath, relax. You need some guidance and a plan. This is Part 2 of Kate and Jane's "10 Tips for Doing a Good Job with the Scariest Conversation of Your Life".
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For most divorcing parents, breaking the news to their kids is one the most upsetting parts of the experience. What, when and how to tell them? How to ease their pain? What if you and your future ex can't agree on a message? Take a breath, relax. You need some guidance and a plan. Kate and Jane offer "10 Tips for Doing a Good Job with the Scariest Conversation of Your Life".
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Divorcing parents want to support their kids and minimize pain. But being a good parent sometimes means taking unpopular positions. And what if you don't have a cooperative co-parent who supports your philosophy? In this episode, Kate and Jane offer practical and empathic advice for handling even the most complex and emotionally fraught divorce discipline challenges.
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"Now that we're splitting up, should I be softer on the kids or keep doing things the old way?" "Should my ex and I try to have the same rules?" "What if my ex undermines me with the kids?" Deciding how and when to discipline our kids during the emotional maelstrom of divorce is tough. But you can learn to navigate even the thorniest challenges if you start with a solid understanding of what constitutes effective discipline for kids of various ages- divorcing parents or no. In this episode, Kate and Jane discuss their ideas about how best to think about and implement discipline. They explore the difference between punishment and consequence (and why it matters), and offer a list of "11 Things to Keep in Mind When Imposing Consequences."
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"How did I get here?", "How did I not see this coming?", "Why did I marry that person in the first place?, "How can I avoid making the same mistakes again?" When you're baffled by your past, it's scary to imagine taking a step into the future. But here's the silver lining of divorce: It offers the possibility of real transformation. In this episode Kate and Jane offer their insights into how to take new control over your emotional choices, find real intimacy, and live your best life going forward.
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Divorce can be overwhelming, alienating and lonely. Even when friends and family want to help, they often grow tired of listening, offer unhelpful advice, or are simply at a loss. You may ask yourself "If divorce is so common, how come I'm the only one I know going through it?","Why doesn't anyone understand how hard this is?" or "Will I always be on outside looking in?" In this episode Kate and Jane explore many of the tough but common thoughts and feelings they've heard from people going through separation and divorce (including each other!), and share ideas about how to begin to feel normal again.
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Divorced but still living under the same roof? There are many reasons separating couples share a home for some period of time during the separation/divorce transition. For some it's a financial or legal necessity, for others part of a long-range plan to share time with children. Some couples find this a torturous "limbo phase," while others think of it as a way to ease the pain for children. Whether it's a necessity or a choice, painful or peaceful, this episode will offer you both food for thought and practical tips for navigating life in the same house when you're no longer a romantic couple.
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Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this sixth and final installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 26-30 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
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Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this fifth installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 21-25 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
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