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  • For Fiona's blog which explores how values can help reduce the 'Fear of Failure' when setting goals go to

    Goals Are Great Until Life Takes a Detour

    To sign up to 'The Dot' newsletter which comes out every 2 weeks go to:

    FionaMurden.com

    To connect with the 'Life Connected' community on Instagram go to:

    The Connected Psychologist

  • In this episode, we delve into the journey of Leila Rezaiguia, a passionate advocate for equipping coaches with the skills to effectively serve both individuals and teams. With her extensive experience in corporate roles spanning learning, development, and talent management across various industries, Leila emphasizes the transformative impact of one-on-one and systemic team coaching in fostering trust, collaboration, and a shared purpose within organizations.

    Leila also voices her concern about the lack of understanding and awareness around coaching in her region, highlighting the risks posed by unqualified individuals labeling themselves as coaches. She champions ethical coaching practices that empower clients and honor their resourcefulness, steering away from overly directive or prescriptive methods. Additionally, she distinguishes between mentor coaching, which develops specific coaching competencies, and coaching supervision, which deepens the coach's self-awareness and their influence on the client relationship.

    With her international background, particularly in the Middle East, Leila addresses the often-taboo subject of menopause in many cultures, especially in some where the stigma can be more pronounced, and how coaching can provide crucial support for women navigating these challenges.

    For more from Leila go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/leila-rezaiguia/

    For Fiona news from The Dot newsletter go to https://www.fionamurden.com

    Or Linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionamurden/

    Bio for Leila Rezaiguia (MCIPD, PCC, ORSC, NLP, STC)

    Leila is a highly sought-after multi-lingual Executive, Systemic Team Coach, ICF Mentor Coach & CSA accredited Coach Supervisor with over 24 years, in public and private sectors, working with leading organisations, and individuals to enhance productivity, maximise performance, and accelerating growth across 5 continents.

    She is renowned for her high energy, enthusiasm, passion, fun-loving nature, and love for building connections, empowering, and working with people from diverse cultures. She is passionate about 1:1 & Systemic Team Coaching, Coach Training, Coaching Supervision, and Women in Leadership.

    Leila integrates cutting-edge learning techniques to deliver the most effective evidence-based solutions to her clients and strives to help her clients from graduate to C-suite levels reach higher performance personally and professionally.

    Leila is passionate about Coaching, Mentoring, Women in Leadership, and Leadership Development and has created successful performance, coaching, and mentoring cultures across different industries.

    She is based between Dubai and Turkey and leads both Kompass The Coaching Company & the Academy of Executive CoachingUAE.

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  • If you're feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges I'm hoping this may help. Join us on this episode as we dive into practical strategies and psychological insights to help you regain control and find calm amidst the chaos. Whether you're facing personal or professional hurdles, discover how to navigate them with resilience and grace.

  • Tori's journey reflects her commitment to resilience and compassion, shaped by her experiences at Smith College and Harvard Divinity School, where she learned about the importance of empathy across cultures and religions. Her work with marginalized populations, including running a shelter for homeless women, led her to pursue a law degree to advocate for change. But perhaps more notable are her personal challenges, including growing up with a brother who has developmental disabilities. It's these which have fueled her passion for social justice and healing.

    A pivotal influence in her life was Muhammad Ali, whose compassion inspired Tori to overcome her own struggles. He encouraged her to finish what she started, leading to her successful second attempt at rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. But there were other lesser known figures from a boy at school who stood up for her brother to a teacher who taught her persistence who've also played a huge role in the values she holds closely even today.

    Join us as we explore Tori's incredible story, her insights on compassion, and her mission to inspire others to rise above their challenges. This is a conversation filled with wisdom and inspiration that you won't want to miss.

  • Discussion Points:

    Psychological Vitamins: Dr. Keyes and Fiona discussing the importance of "psychological vitamins"—activities such as helping others, continuous learning, and forming meaningful connections and how these activities are crucial in fostering a healthy and fulfilling life.Small Changes Big Impact: They discuss the fact that very small changes in lifestyle, if focussed on the ‘right’ things can create a significant difference in mental health. Impact of Childhood Trauma: The lasting impact of childhood trauma on mental health is explored, with Dr. Keyes sharing firsthand experiences from his own life. This personal insight highlights the long-term effects of trauma and the importance of addressing it early.Mental Health in Healthcare Workers: Dr. Keyes emphasizes the critical role of mental health in supporting healthcare workers. Ensuring their mental well-being is not only vital for their own health but also for maintaining high-quality patient care.Preventive Mental Health Care: A significant portion of the discussion focuses on shifting society's approach from solely treating mental illness to preventing it. Dr. Keyes' research indicates that individuals who are flourishing are less likely to develop PTSD, depression, or anxiety, especially during stressful events like the pandemic. In contrast, those who are languishing are more vulnerable.Critique of Medication-Only Approaches: Dr. Keyes critiques the current approach of relying heavily on medication to treat mental health issues. While some individuals benefit from medications, many treatments are primarily placebic and expensive. He advocates for a preventive approach that promotes overall mental well-being to reduce the likelihood of relapse.Promoting Flourishing: By fostering flourishing, individuals are more likely to maintain long-term recovery from mental health issues. Dr. Keyes underscores the importance of promoting positive mental health alongside treating symptoms of depression and anxiety.Historical Perspective: Reflecting on his career, Dr. Keyes notes that despite recognizing depression as a major public health challenge in 1996, societal approaches to mental health have not significantly changed. He stresses the need for a proactive mental health care system to improve outcomes and reduce the overall burden of mental illness.Role of Education and Societal Change: Fiona and Dr. Keyes discuss the importance of education and societal shifts in promoting mental well-being. In the UK, some doctors now prescribe social activities to improve mental health, but broader educational efforts and societal changes are needed for long-term impact.Analogy with Athletes: Dr. Keyes draws an analogy with athletes who prepare their bodies and minds to withstand challenges. He suggests that individuals should adopt similar preventive measures in their daily lives to ensure long-term health and resilience.Future Vision: Dr. Keyes envisions a healthcare system that monitors individuals' mental health proactively, much like a pit stop team in a car race. Such a system would detect early signs of declining mental health and provide timely interventions to prevent crises.
  • The discussion delves deep into the paradoxical nature of perfectionism, exploring how it often leads to hiding our struggles and hopes out of fear of disappointment or perceived failure. Jordana reveals how keeping challenges secret, particularly in sensitive situations like IVF, can actually deprive us of crucial support rather than protect us from disappointment. Throughout the episode, Fiona and Jordana explore the importance of selective vulnerability, the power of social support, and the journey of overcoming perfectionist tendencies. They disxuss how society feeds us with certain beliefs that we pursue They touch on various aspects of personal growth, including empathy, creativity, and the process of changing ingrained behaviors to align more with personal well-being than societal expectations.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone grappling with perfectionism or facing personal challenges they're hesitant to share, emphasizing the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of allowing ourselves to be supported.

    Key Takeaways:

    Perfectionism often leads to hiding struggles, which can prevent receiving necessary supportSelective sharing with trusted allies can provide crucial emotional supportSocial support is vital both in pursuing goals and facing adversityOvercoming perfectionism involves embracing vulnerability and allowing support from othersChanging ingrained perfectionist behaviors is possible and beneficial for personal growth

    Why not subscribe to The Dot newsletter form Fiona and the team

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    Click here to go to the sign up page

    Every fortnight, a new edition includes:

    One Key Insight based on science One Simple Exercise to put the insight into practice and live a ‘life connected’ One Point to Ponder over the next two weeks.

    By deepening your understanding of yourself and your relationships you’ll begin to find more joy and success. Connecting the dots on your life one step at a time.

    To find Jordana Confino and the resources she offers click here

  • At 16, Corey Keyes seemed to be thriving after a brutal childhood. He excelled in school, played quarterback on the football team, and lived with his loving grandmother in Wisconsin, USA. However, as he writes in his book, Languishing: How To Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, he felt a "restless emptiness" whenever he slowed down. Determined to understand this feeling, he became a sociologist.

    Corey explains that languishing is a normal reaction to life's challenges but can become debilitating if not addressed. He describes it as “the absence of wellbeing…the absence of the really good things that make life meaningful and worth living.” He goes on to explain that “We all languish in a slightly different way. You may feel you don’t have purpose in life. You don’t belong. You’re not contributing. You don’t have warm relationships. You’re not growing as a person.”

    Dr. Keyes identifies 11 qualities essential for well-being, including social and psychological aspects. The discussion delves into how mental illness impacts functioning and the importance of preparing for adversity. Corey highlights the significance of mental health preparation, emphasizing the need for social support.

    Corey and Fiona discuss importance of social support in healthcare, encouraging professionals to acknowledge and appreciate their colleagues. They also discuss trust in high-performing teams, offering strategies like daily check-ins to build trust and openness. The conversation addresses languishing and ghosting in the workplace, stressing the need for consistent communication and connection.

  • Jordana is full of energy, a joy to listen to and as one might expect of a Yale Law School grad she really "Knows her stuff". She's also brutally honest explaining her own struggles through a seemingly ideal life of high achievement and how much of her perfectionism stems from a mother who herself "was a ruthless perfectionist, and she tried to perfect me."

    Jordana and Fiona also discuss the critical role of trust and vulnerability in effective mentoring and more importantly in simply being human - highlighting how these qualities are often overlooked, especially by professions where they are most needed. They debunk the idea that success requires sacrificing well-being, revealing instead that well-being fuels success. Jordana explains that positive psychology involves acknowledging negative emotions to fully experience positive ones, helping to explain the key differences between positive psychology and toxic positivity. She also explains that acknowledging negative emotions is crucial to fully experience positive ones. They also discuss the impact of positive emotions and how they enhance cognitive function, creativity, and resilience.

    Jordana is a certified positive psychology coach and the founder of JC Coaching & Consulting. She helps lawyers, doctors, and other high achievers transform their lives for the better.

    To connect with Jordana go to:

    Website:jordanaconfino.com

  • Gelmi and Fiona begin the conversation with an exploration of personality development for leaders and leveraging psychometrics as a tool to uncover innate qualities and potential. Gelmi uses the analogy of nurturing plants to illustrate how individuals can flourish given the right conditions. He also emphasizes the importance of mentoring, self-reflection, and creating safe environments where people feel valued and heard, in order to drive high-performance teams.

    The discussion examines the significance of perspective, empathy, and emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace culture. Gelmi stresses the need for consistent modelling of desired behaviours by leaders to effect change across workplace cultures. He encourages embracing human emotions rather than shying away from them, highlighting the role of authenticity, self-awareness, and effective communication in fostering trust and openness.

    Throughout the episode, Gelmi provides practical advice and thought-provoking insights, offering listeners a roadmap for personal and professional development in today's dynamic world.

    Gelmi’s website is a great resource for anyone wanting to explore this topic further. You can find it at:

    https://gelmi.coach/en/

    And to find Thomas on Linkedin go to:

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomasgelmi/

  • During the podcast Alex shares her inspiring journey and the inception of the foundation. Coming from a family with a deep love of sports, Alex's early exposure to hockey instilled in her a profound love for the game. She embarked on her own sporting journey with a fervent desire to represent England in hockey. Supported by her family, coaches, and teachers, Alex pursued her dream with unwavering determination. However, her path took an unexpected turn when she faced rejection at the under-16 England trials. This setback deeply affected Alex, leading to a struggle with her mental health as she grappled with the loss of her identity as a hockey player. Reflecting on her experience, Alex realized the need for young athletes to have a holistic relationship with sports, one that goes beyond performance on the field. She recognized that while sports play a significant role in shaping individuals, they are just one aspect of a person's identity. Fueled by a desire to support young people facing similar challenges to herself, Alex founded The Mindtridge Foundation.

    The foundation aims to help young individuals develop positive relationships with sports by harnessing the power of positive role models, including Olympians and Paralympians and providing young people with the guidance needed to navigate the world of sports while maintaining a strong sense of self-worth and identity. Her vision is to ensure that no young person experiences the isolation and struggle she faced, but instead finds fulfillment and empowerment through sports in any capacity. So far the charity has helped 88,000 young people. Concluding the episode, Alex and Fiona share their shared vision for empowering youth and overcoming obstacles through preparation, determination, and a commitment to fostering inclusive and supportive environments within the sports industry.

    Fiona is lucky enough to be one of the Mintridge Squad – part of the team supporting the amazing work that Alex and the charity are doing for young people.

    To learn more about Mintridge or to donate to this worthwhile charity please go to:

    https://www.mintridgefoundation.org.uk

  • Zoiey is a trailblazing inclusion activist who has made significant contributions to the world of sports. With over 20 years of experience in the industry, she has worked her way up from being an athlete to becoming a highly respected inclusion consultant. In 2017, Grazia magazine recognized her as one of the top Black British influential figures in the UK.

    Zoeiy's journey is one of unwavering determination and resilience. She shares insightful anecdotes and personal experiences, highlighting the importance of embracing one's identity and advocating for inclusivity in sports and beyond.

    Throughout the episode, Zoeiy also reflects on the challenges she's faced, from childhood encounters with racism to navigating gender biases in the sports industry. Her candid insights shed light on the importance of creating inclusive spaces and challenging societal norms. Zoeiy's dedication to promoting diversity and inclusivity, her impact on the industry is undeniable.

    For more from Zoeiy you can find her at:

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoiey-smale/

    To find out more about Oka and how we can help to improve DEI within your work place go to:

    https://www.oka.life

  • Through her work with bloss.m, Lola is breaking barriers for underrepresented groups in the workplace and addressing systemic obstacles to success. She emphasizes the importance of mentorship, personal growth, and self-awareness in achieving long-term goals.

    Join us as we explore Lola's impactful journey, her commitment to empowering women and girls, and the transformative power of mentorship and self-reflection. Lola radiates warmth and inspiration, illuminating every room she enters or, in this case, every airwave she graces. With her fearless approach to life's journey, she charts paths less traveled, guiding others along the way and encouraging others to discover their true potential. We can all learn from Lola's insights and be inspired to make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.


    For more from Lola go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/lolaolaore/

  • In this episode we discuss the complexity of taking care of yourself and a newborn, and explore the unique challenges and experiences that come with motherhood. As Garrett shares her own experiences, she also delves into the products that made a difference in her life and how she and her family decided to create a company to provide solutions for other moms. Garrett shares that “The early stages of postpartum life redefined the word “comfort” for me and now I'm on a mission to help others get cozy while doing the hard things including but not limited to parenting, birthing and business building.”

    She also touches upon the need for support and understanding in those critical moments, emphasizing the role of men as allies in this journey. This is something that we’re all too aware of at Oka, as well as matching women to mentors who have been through similar experiences (like for example returning to work after having a baby) we guide the allies (e.g. male colleagues, partners) in how to provide the best support while also looking after themselves.

    Prior to kozēkozē and motherhood, Garrett wrote and published a novel based-on-true events from her own life called, "Dare To Move." She also hosts the kozēkozē podcast where we bring in experts doing the hard things, like birth and business, to share their vulnerable stories on business and self-development.


    Garrett’s first career was in real estate development and she helped with the US rollout of Caffè Nero. Her love of fitness guided her to teach at Shred415 in Chicago and also Barry’s Bootcamp in Boston for 7 years.

    Join us for this insightful episode as we explore the challenges and opportunities that come with motherhood, entrepreneurship and personal growth.

    To find Garrett’s products go to:

    https://www.kozekoze.com

    To sign up to Oka where we can help you back on your journey to fulfilling your potential in a way that fits or to support another woman through your own experience please sign up to

    https://oka.life/waitlistpage

  • In our conversation, we delve into the essence of Michelle’s beliefs, emphasizing the importance of seeking support when needed and shattering the stereotype that Olympians must always be infallible. At the heart of our discussion is the recognition of the 'whole person' behind every champion. Michelle's perspective is firmly rooted in the value of hard work, as she aptly puts it, "You might be a natural at languages, math, or even athletics, but beneath it all, there's still a need to put in the effort."

    And she also acknowledges that her own story and the stories of countless other successes go far beyond mere talent and effort. Embracing vulnerability and reaching out for help when necessary is, as she believes, a hallmark of strength. She articulates this beautifully by saying, "Being strong, in my very humble opinion, is accepting the need to raise your hand and say to those closest to you, 'I need support today.'" In her own words, she humbly states, "I'm not just an Olympic medalist; I am a girl who dared to dream." Daring to dream and unwavering tenacity are the driving forces that carry champions through the toughest times, "when it's hard, when you're injured, when you stumble, when you feel you can't go on."

    Michelle also encourages each of us to discover our unique sources of joy and pursue them with unwavering determination. She shares her own daily life as an example of what this entails.

    This episode is a genuine wellspring of inspiration, featuring a truly remarkable woman.

    To find Michelle go to:

    https://michellegriffithrobinsonoly.co.uk

    To join the Oka waitlist and find a mentor or coach to support you on your journey go to

    https://oka.life/waitlist

  • In our discussion, we delve into how social media affects adolescent well-being across diverse societies and demographics. With his background in social work, Sebastian sheds light on the intricate interplay between individual differences and societal context, offering a holistic perspective on this complex issue.

    We explore the nuanced impact of social media on adolescent mental health. While research indicates a small negative impact on average, we delve into the vulnerabilities that adolescents face during the transition from childhood to adulthood, when social media's influence can be most pronounced. The discussion extends to how social media affects children's development, and we emphasize the need for empirical data to hold social media platforms accountable for hosting abusive content.

    Social media regulation is a hot topic, and we explore the challenges it presents. Sebastian highlights the importance of thoughtful policy changes and societal action, especially in the global South, to address issues beyond individual control.

    Workplace pressure is another pressing issue. We examine how excessive pressure can erode trust and lead to mental health strain among healthcare workers, especially in child protection services which has a broader knock on impact.

    To sign up to the Oka mentoring app follow this link: https://oka.life/waitlistpage

  • Discover practical strategies to savour every step of your personal and professional growth, no matter how big or small so that you end your working life with no regrets. Whether you're leading a global corporation or tending to your garden.

    "A series of studies have shown this….when you ask people at the end of their working lives to look back, 'What are the main regrets or lessons or advice that you would have for others?' And three things emerge, typically, and are really quite significantly ahead of all the other kinds of regrets."

    Embracing Risk: "I wish I'd taken more risk in my life, more risk in doing what I really wanted to do, more risk in relationships.”Enjoying the Journey: "I wish, instead of just going down tramlines on autopilot, I'd ask myself, am I enjoying this journey? Am I really being satisfied here?"Legacy and Fulfilment: "I wish I'd thought about the legacy I was going to leave behind."

    Mentorship as a Catalyst: But here's the most exciting part for me. When it comes to embracing risk and crafting your legacy, mentorship is a powerful and positive way to achieve both. Mentors guide you in taking those leaps of faith, and they inspire you to envision the lasting impact you can create. And being a mentor also allows you to enjoy your own journey more and ensure that you’re passing on your learning and legacy to the next generation. Join the Oka waitlist to be part of our psychologically backed mentoring.

    Biography

    Gurnek Bains was born in Bhangal, a relatively poor village in the north of India. Although his parents and three sisters slept in one room with no electric lighting, Gurnek’s father grew up believing that they shouldn’t be as poor as they were. He dedicated himself to bettering his family’s life chances and became school principle at the age of 32. When he and the rest of Gurnek’s family eventually moved to the UK, he worked multiple jobs and always encouraged his children to learn.

    Watching his parents make huge sacrifices, Gurnek developed what he described as a huge “compensatory drive”. He managed to make it into grammar school and after many years of hard work went on to earn a PhD in social psychology at Oxford University.

    While he first practised as a clinical psychologist, it wasn’t long until Gurnek moved into business psychology and set up Britain’s first consultancy dedicated to harnessing the power of psychology, YSC. Two decades later he and his colleagues had built YSC from a company of two to employing over 250 people in over 25 offices around the world, and were working with over half the FTSE 100. His company became known as one of the best for driving performance, improving cultures and unleashing the power of potential at work. To be “YSC’ed” became a familiar verb in business circles around the world.

    Gurnek has always been interested in how psychology can serve society as well as business. While he continues his consulting work at his smaller boutique firm, Global Future, he also leads its sister think tank NOUS and works privately with a number of senior political figures. He has written two books; ‘Meaning Inc.’, which explores how to build meaning and purpose into work, and ‘Cultural DNA’, a book dedicated to helping people empathise with different cultures. He also regularly contributes as a writer and commentator to Psychology Today.

    Gurnek is hugely grateful to the UK for the opportunities it has given him, and feels a strong need to give something back. Over recent years he has become dedicated to helping people understand how we can navigate the turbulence of modern society with purpose and investment, with our mental wellbeing intact and ultimately, with optimism.

  • In this episode, we embark on Andrew's incredible journey into the world of social media and sports. From the fast-paced business of sports streaming to the art of storytelling in the realm of Major League Baseball, we uncover the secrets of connecting with diverse audiences.

    But that's not all. We delve into the transition from professional athlete to entrepreneur and explore personal development gems. Andrew shares insights on finding the right job, the ever-evolving journey of self-awareness, and the power of learning from mistakes.

    Join us for a thought-provoking conversation that promises valuable takeaways for your own journey.

    To find out more about progressing your personal growth with the help of a mentor or to be a mentor find us at Oka Life.

  • Schneider’s journey will resonate particularly with those navigating the entrepreneurial realm, where challenges and triumphs often intertwine. Refreshingly Schneider challenges the conventional mindset that success breeds happiness, advocating for a shift from "Have, Do, Be" to "Be, Do, Have." finding contentment within, propelling purposeful actions, and allowing rewards to naturally follow.

    Schneider describes how with age, the entrepreneurial journey becomes a dance with escalating stakes. He highlights the crucial interplay between challenges and mental well-being and underscores the power of faith, whether in oneself or the universe, as a resilient foundation against life's uncertainties.

    In the pursuit of success, Schneider spotlights the significance of valuing relationships. He counters the corrosive nature of comparison, advocating for a focus on authentic impact and in finding solace in outward focus. By extending kindness and support to others, he has experienced personal growth. While he acknowledges personal milestones he also underscores the profound fulfilment derived from aiding others on their journeys.

    Mentorship also emerges as a guiding light in Schneider's narrative. Learning from those who've trodden similar paths mitigates avoidable missteps. He emphasizes the transformational power of translating mentorship into actionable steps.

  • Esme Verity supports founders, those who are 'Zebras'. The insights she shares throw light on to a world which favours a cookie cutter approach to success, even within the area of start-ups where our expectation may be different. Fiona explores Esme’s journey and the interesting experience she’s gained on “building a business that doesn't fit into this mainstream mould that we now have, a sort of Silicon Valley mould.” Why by investors looking only for businesses that offer a 10x return on investment leads to so many startups that are critical to the world being disregarded and left struggling to survive.

    Esme ran an antique jewellery business from the age of 18 and throughout university. When she left, she sought funding to help grow that business, and that’s when she was thrown into the world of Venture Capital. The VC world is very much focussed on finding the next unicorn business, something that’s going to grow incredibly big, very quickly. But Esme explains how she thinks that this reflects ‘a very limited definition of ambition’ and just ‘because you don't want to build a huge giant business doesn't make you not ambitious, it just means that you want something different.’ Wanting to do things differently and support the diversity of people within the start-up world, not just the unicorns, Esme has been on a mission ever since to advance her understanding of alternative approaches to growing a business that’s sustainable and to share that knowledge with others.

    Esme teaches about alternative funding and has worked with hundreds of purpose-driven start-ups, non-profits and governments to help democratise access to alternative funding sources. Prior to founding Considered Capital, she was Director of Chapters at Zebras Unite, an international and intersectional hybrid cooperative dedicated to creating new financial instruments for the next economy. Esme is an active angel investor and was named one of the Top 100 Women in Social Enterprise by Pioneers Post. Esme is the founder of Considered Capital, a platform for start-ups and organisations seeking alternative funding. Considered Capital simplifies and speeds up the journey to finding and accessing the right funding fit through courses, community and content.

    To find Esme go to Linkedin or her website Considered Capital

    For Zebras Unite click here

    For more from Fiona and her startup Oka click here.