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The march of AI has engulfed everything in its path: cars no longer need drivers, paintings no longer need painters, and songs no longer need writers. But one man stands in the way of AI’s relentless progress: John Robins. What can AI do with hours and hours of one of the leading voices of generation shame? It’s a question that is finally answered in today’s podcast.
Beyond the grip of AI’s ever-extending tendrils, the finest (and probably only) example of prone podcasting continues. There’s an eventful prone Made Up Game, a wincing prone Shame, and the discovery of a brand new condition: banter zone jet lag.
For bits and pieces it’s [email protected], or swing over a WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.
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What’s the only way to spend Halloween? It’s having a spoooooky intimate bum procedure of course! So John's dressed as a spoooky ghost in a bed sheet. (He's in bed as he recovers). There’s no way he was to be knocking on the doors of rural Bucks to fill his pumpkin bucket with Chomps and Refreshers when he’s got an ice pack strapped to his behind. So it's prone podcasting at its finest.
While our backside hero recovers, it’s Elis’s job to do the heavy lifting - i.e. read the emails. But right now, really it's you doing the lifting. From Golden Age Mad Dads to Timberland tales, you're doing more incredible lifting than Lasha Talakhadze (+102kg Men 2024 Olympic Champion).
If you want to throw anything into the mix for the boys to use on the show then it’s [email protected]. Or if you’re young enough to not know ‘The Fonz’ then it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.
Are you listening on BBC Sounds? If not then you’re missing out on the chance to switch, with the tap of a finger, to Matt Chorley eating a flan whilst interviewing The Education Secretary on 5 Live. So listen there!
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Bye Bye Mr Audio, Hello Mr Saturday Night! There are rumours that Saturday night TV is dead. That it just doesn't bring in the eyeballs that Bowen, Black and Forsyth once did and the cash well is drying up. But with five kids between them and the prospect of John’s fixed rate mortgage expiring at an unstated date, that’s still enough cash to entice the ever well oiled ideas machine into life.
Whether ‘Mr Saturday Night’ or ‘Dave & Dave’s Sexy Show’ would pull in millions is one question. Another question is easier to answer: would a BBC commissioner dashing their shiny floor dreams LIVE be box office listening? Yes, yes it would.
Aside from dreams of gunge, interviewing pets and the big time there’s some heavy hitting moments: an aurally unique Made Up Game, the Cymru Connection’s own VAR moment and potentially the ultimate Petty Parliament.
It’s all best experienced on the BBC Sounds app where if you tire of this vapid content you can easily switch to the stoicism of Radio 4’s The World At One with the tap of a thumb. You can’t do that on any other app.
If you’re of the post-S-Club generation then 07974 293 022 is the WhatsApp. For anyone older it’s [email protected].
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Drink in it folks, we’re living in a new golden age. That’s right, the lesser talked about field of alpinism has reached new heights, a new zenith. And there’s one man to thank: Mr John Robins.
Johnny JR’s record-breaking successful scale of the Matterhorn with his eyes (a feat previously thought impossible) is picked over in detail, as is his expensive alpine driving, and his holiday eating habits: lots of pasta, double pizzas. Have we unearthed the new Michael Palin?
Among the usual japes - including elite mad daddery, more nightclub attire chat, and a journey from the bap to the barm via the butty - the boys also ordain a new youth oriented corner of the podcast. Slay.
Keep your top level correspondence coming in to us at [email protected], or if you’re of slay age, WhatsAppp the show on 07974 293022.
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Jekyll and Hyde isn’t a work of fiction. Nor is James McAvoy in hit film Split. No. If you were to venture down the B and C roads of mainland Wales the past few weeks you’ll have seen something far more surprising: Welsh Elis and English Elis.
For there’s an astonishing revelation of the West Walian comic once thought of as polite and mild-mannered. James’ alternative persona is coming to a Welsh theatre near you and be prepared for an attitude that will shock. As well as the mental there's also time for analysis of the physical side of the game, as the boys dig into the sudden born to bench trend of the UK funny man.
There’s also a national infrastructure halting Shame, and there’s an inspirational Made Up Game sure to generate merch revenues that could pay for Tim Davie’s Calippo bill for at least the next financial quarter. All this despite an initial lack of confidence in the gameplay. Because it wouldn’t be Elis and John if they didn’t trash a game before passing it with flying colours. Trust. The. Process.
If you aren’t already listening to the show on the universe leading BBC Sounds app then you better swear on Adrian’s life that you’ll sort that very this instant.
To get in touch with everything from sex club chat to your own genre-pushing Made Up Games it’s [email protected] on electronic mail, and 07974 293 022.
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What do we all do before going on holiday? Check we have our Big Three (keys, boarding pass, passport), worry about whether the place has a washing machine, and write up a draft will. It’s the classic Robins pre-holiday triumvirate.
Yes, Johnny JR is off on his holidays to climb the Matterhorn with his eyes. And boy does he have a spring in his step!
Alongside holiday chat, we witness the birth of a new event: The Elis and John Decathlon. Jessica Ennis-Hill and Daley Thompson watch out, two digital podcast-first DJs are coming for you.
And don’t for one second think this podcast doesn’t contain excellent mad daddery, top listener correspondence and chat about the world’s favourite app BBC Sounds.
Keep all your bits coming in to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.
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When one thinks of the great socialisers ‘John’ and ‘Robins’ are two words that don’t immediately spring to mind. But are we seeing a transformation in a week that sees John enter 1920s socialite levels of social butterflyery. From partying in Brixton and currying with top business folk, to watching Tom Rosenthal get fitted for golf clubs for four hours on a Tuesday, is there nothing this man can’t do to fill his busy schedule?
Beyond John’s Big Social Week we throw open the doors to one of the great friends and PCDs of the show, Ania Magliano, who brings an extraordinary tale of her own mad father.
Also, if you aren’t already listening on BBC Sounds, then what on God’s green earth are you doing? For all the other platforms’ merits, do they have direct inject access to live radio on digital tap? No!
If you want to contact the show then, if we haven’t already told you it enough then [email protected] is the electronic mail, and 07974 293 022 the WhatsApp number.
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Wheel the to 1:50 scale Maine Road birthday cake out, Producer Dave is turning 40!
George Orwell posited that 1984 would be a year of bleak dystopian nightmares. In reality it spawned Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’, the film Ghostbusters and Stockport's finest podcast-first producer, Dave Masterman. Eat that, Orwell.
So it’s time to celebrate in the only way Dave knows how: with a bucket of coleslaw, an overly priced toastie, a trip to the local omnipotent bar chain and an hour of podcasting fun. We hear from an array of friends from his past including some Mancunian acquaintances…
Away from the birthday fun we get more insights into the secrets of sex clubs - John, fully clothed, has his notebook at the ready - and we all go a bit chippy mad.
Make Producer Dave’s 41st year his best yet by continuing to send in your top quality correspondence to [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.
And remember to keep it locked on BBC Sounds.
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It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.
Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.
If you're under 40 and therefore apparently know about sex clubs then John, entering his sex club year, would very much like to hear it. [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.
But no filth please, because unlike rival shows this is not a sex podcast!
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After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.
But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!
Keep sending us your memos, missives and scribblings. All to [email protected]. Or if you’re super modern you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.
And make sure to listen on the world’s most intuitive app: BBC Sounds.
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Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.
Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.
Keep your tiptop emails and WhatsApps coming in to [email protected] and 07974 293 022 respectively. And make sure you’re listening on the world’s favourite app: BBC Sounds.
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It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…
But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.
John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.
If this show were an old steam train, then your correspondence would be the steam. We need it to keep the wheels running. Send it to [email protected], or get in touch via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.
And remember that the greatest track upon which to listen to the show (if it were still an old steam train) would be the trusty tracks of BBC Sounds.
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It’s a giddy John we encounter today, for our hero is about to embark on his yearly golfing pilgrimage to Elis’s beloved Portugal. Talk of unspeakably high win rates and historic opportunities to become “better than Man City at golf” abounds.
Elsewhere, there’s a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons of skipping TV theme music, an eventful outing of John’s favourite feature The Cymru Connection (which leads to a yet another new podcast idea for Mr Audio), and a “billy-bink-bink-bonks” Shame Well entry.
Keep sending us your games, shames, petty objections and Welsh connections. All this to [email protected] or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.
And remember that the best listening experience happens on the greatest audio platform in the biz: BBC Sounds.
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Tick tock Robins went down in history. But tick tock Masterman? Now that’s a whole different ball game. Like Stuart Pearce or Joe Royle missing the team bus, you’d think that unheard of, but not today. So expect the sackings to fly.
Away from such tardiness, Elis reads the best and second best emails of this financial quarter, John features in one of sport’s most hilarious beefs and, shockingly I know, in depth service station chat interrupts some Tolkien Mad Daddery.
If you want to provide the best email of Q4 then send it in to [email protected] or if WhatsApp’s your digital bag then 07974 293 022 is the number to save in your phone.
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Oh we do have some fun don’t we. And if the Funometer was measuring in funtometres then today’s show would cause it to 404 error due to exceeding the fun scale. And it’s in large part because walking jingler David O’Doherty is on the show with a funtastic Made Up Game to play!
Plus there’s a Shame that’ll really make you squirm and an absolutely compelling Welshman for Elis to sink his parochial teeth into. But there’s also time for #reflection with some earth shattering news about the Bag of Death.
And to get in touch with the show it’s [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all of your intense poetry.
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As time continues its cruel, relentless, and inevitable march onwards, thoughts turn to retirement plans; how will our heroes see out their final days? Who has their eye on one big final paycheck? The answer may surprise you. And who doesn’t mind just fizzling out quietly? Elis.
It’s also a big day for Producer Dave, as his lost university dissertation finally sees the light of day. The nation has been waiting with baited breath to hear about the past, present, and future of Sheffield Hallam’s student radio station Rush Radio, and today we can deliver the goods.
And fortunately/unfortunately (deleted as appropriate), there is still a little bit of the dance to be danced...
Please do continue to send in your excellent correspondence via the usual channels. For email users it’s [email protected], and for WhatsApp aficionados it’s 07974 293022.
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After such vigorous dancing last time out the boys have done their stretches and downed their recovery shakes in preparation for a classic Elis and John day at the office.
In a quite astonishing move, Dave takes a laptop to church, Elis struggles to follow the recipe and there’s a Cymru Connection for which circular content was designed for.
Elis also takes in some excellent advice from you the you the listener on how he can chart the waters of wedlock and John makes a quite startling revelation about how he spent the other afternoon.
If you don't already, listen to the show on BBC Sounds. It's completely free to download and you get ALL BBC audio right at your fingertips!To get in touch on this and that it’s [email protected], and on WhatsApp 07974 293 022. And yes, you can now stop emailing about dynamic ticket pricing, for the inbox has exploded to the degree that we might have to increase the entry price due to demand.
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We’re all excited about dancing the dance. The most intimate dance. Cheek to cheek entering the ballroom. John woke up at 3:30 this morning on edge about dancing the dance. His favourite conversation. The romantic frisson. The interplay between venue capacity, ticket price and audience demand. The delicious dance. The one thing better than talking about the dance is being actually involved in the dance.
What the above probably hasn’t elucidated is, it should be pointed out, is that the dance more specifically is 45 minutes of discussion about dynamic pricing. This might not be for everyone. So if you’re against that then do leave the show playing whilst you nip out the house because we need to keep those retention figures up.
There are things in this episode which don’t involved dancing but it makes up about 25%.
The email address for the show is [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. Feel free to email in about The Dance but if Production have to read 120 emails on Monday morning about dynamic pricing then it will likely make them sad.
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We’ll throw down the gauntlet here. This is *classic* Elis and John. A podium place episode. Champions League. There, I said it. Big laughs, sex swapping, something harrowing from Robins, an absolute Billy belter… of a Cymru Connection, Americans dealing with 5-year-olds’ opinions on gun control and a rock solid Shame.
Elsewhere Elis settles into married life by talking about Patreon to a Frenchman, John is desperate to know from Phil Wang how to get a Netflix Special and a Made Up Game to really grab your attention. There’s just *a lot* going on.
If you want to contribute to the Booker Prize quality of our correspondence then it’s [email protected] on email or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.
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A union that we’ve waited 15 years for between a pair significantly involved in the UK’s cultural scene. Some of the most significant personal news to hit this show in a long long time which requires examining on many fronts. No not Elis’s wedding but the Oasis reunion. For Producer Dave might spontaneously combust. He might break down due to not being on the presale and there are distinct concerns for his use of substances in July 2025.
Elsewhere Elis has got married. That's also in here.
Also expect some significant accusations from the most trend setting radio show in the land.
If you want to get in touch it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp and [email protected] is the usual email.
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