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Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book.
Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.”Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/
Sandy's Book:
https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/
https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200
The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/
Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/
GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/
SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/
Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Support the podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Finding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/
Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy, how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU, and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong.
Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links
Andrew's Podcasts-
Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger
Andrew's Interview with Josh Harris
https://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9W
The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
Conversion Therapy
https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy
Pattern of Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-pattern
Hypnotherapy for Trauma
https://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-trauma
IndoctriNation Podcast
https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/
Deconstruction Reddit Threads
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabled
Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/
Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week.
Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links
Andrew's Podcasts-
Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger
Subjects that came up in discussion-
Family Research Council:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-council
Institute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principles
https://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014
Umbrella of Authority:
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/
Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family
GRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archive
The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/
Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved.
Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/
Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=en
Alice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/
Here are some of my favorites of her videos!
Going Outside:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=en
Trauma Talk:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=en
Alice Being Awesome
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=en
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/
Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions.
Chie has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.
Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode:
1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma?
2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered?
3. How does my culture interact with broken things?
4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up?
5. How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"?
6. Do the words I’m using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern?
7. Are the words I’m using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change?
8. What body system do I most relate to and why?
Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work:
https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU
Podcast Website
https://www.finding-ok.com/
Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINK
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now.
In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo
Paganicon
https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/
Laura Tempest Zakroff
https://lauratempestzakroff.com/
Art and Shop
https://owlkeyme.square.site/
Omega Artworks - Ritual Blades
https://www.omegaartworks.com/
Watchful Coyote - Jack
https://healthecycle.com/
TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=en
I Got Out
http://www.igotout.org/
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Join Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Support the show
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This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break!
New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or joining Discord or Patreon.
I livestream on Twitch multiple times a week and you can still catch me there. Thank you all so much for making this season so special. While this break happens please remember that you are not alone! Please take care of yourself!
Survivor Support and Resources
https://www.rainn.org/
The planner I use
https://passionplanner.com/
Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist by Ramshackle Glory
https://youtu.be/pC3IrqUpm9U
Ramshackle Glory
https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Follow Sage on Twitch and join the weekly Twitch and Paint event!
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce
Follow me on twitch too! My paint stream is on 3/25/23
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
A friend and fellow survivor wrote this beautiful book of poetry! Check it out!
https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Dare-Teach-Daughter-Forest/dp/172595933X
Join Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Thank you for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself!Support the show
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Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard.
A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready.
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3Support the show
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Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, and her experience with EMDR therapy. Ruth speaks so honestly and openly about the struggles we all face as survivors and I know her words and experiences will resonate with others.
Ruth is a Midwesterner who enjoys music, singing, painting, and taking walks in the woods. She has an interest in studying reptiles and amphibians in the future. She has a fluffy orange cat named Wesley Besley who keeps her warm and loved on. Ruth is still in the midst of her healing journey after multiple sexual assaults throughout the first 20 years of her life. She is sharing her story to let some shame go, and to help other survivors feel less alone.
Salvation Army Rules "Soldier's Covenant"
https://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/56C765982907E8E6802573B1004E4E37
Salvation Army Sucks
https://imgur.com/gallery/7OZCIOM
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations
Me Too Many Voices Community Support Network - Love them! Give them a follow!
https://www.instagram.com/mtmvcommunity/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CgdIqU4sW3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi
https://smarthistory.org/gentileschi-judith-slaying-holofernes/
Inner Decay - Where to find the patch! Let's start a gang! lol
https://innerdecay.com/
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show
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My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk.
Chie has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.
Internal Family Systems Therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy
Spoon Theory
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
Assertive Communication - DBT "Dear Man"
https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php
Curable App - Chronic Pain App (Chie recommends)
https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiA5Y6eBhAbEiwA_2ZWIaUxUI-x1o1YSUpLLMhLeSdP70UiI0-_Dd8-vDyXrLwBWAFAkjJB8xoCJmEQAvD_BwE
TED Talk - Music and the Brain
https://www.ted.com/talks/anita_collins_how_playing_an_instrument_benefits_your_brain?language=en
I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out - Andrea Gibson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NYSupport the show
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Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone.
Obelis Linktree
https://linktr.ee/Obelis
The Recloseted Lesbian on Webtoon
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-recloseted-lesbian/list?
title_no=474263
Obelis on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/obelis.art/
Obelis Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/obelis/posts
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Join Hecate's Patreon to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content.
New $1 Tier!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Hecate Livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
Hecate's new YouTube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q
Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself.Support the show
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Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment.
Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also creating internal awareness for the high achievers who, like herself, have used their achievements to deflect from dealing with trauma. Her mission is to impact 100 million lives in 10 years. Prior to that, she led several leadership roles with fortune 500 companies such as American Express, Zelle/Early Warning Services, in product and fraud risk management, including early career with GE in India, and brief stints with Bristol Myers Squibb, and Mayo Clinic in brand management and consulting.
Knekxt Group
https://knekxt.com/
Book of Forgiving
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-book-of-forgiving-the-fourfold-path-for-healing-ourselves-and-our-world-desmond-tutu/15542765?ean=9780062203571
The Body Keeps the Score
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma-bessel-van-der-kolk/6679040?ean=9780143127741
Waking the Tiger
https://bookshop.org/p/books/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-the-innate-capacity-to-transform-overwhelming-experiences-peter-a-levine/8303096
The Drama of the Gifted Child
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-drama-of-the-gifted-child-the-search-for-the-true-self-third-edition-alice-miller/12380815?ean=9780465016907&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHPkGNIsrj529Y5B_q_aw1bmH2V3tKRCaN0y6wXJWYOlooLVrW5i3jRoCCPkQAvD_BwE
ACE Test and Article
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean
TED Talk - Nadine Burke Harris - How childhood trauma affects health accross a lifetime
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en
Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/
Join Hecate's Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Hecate Livestreams on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
Hecate's new YouTube! Click subscribe to help it grow!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q
Happy Holidays everyone! BLM. Take care of yourselfSupport the show
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Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life.
Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistics and Education, and she is the current Dean of the School of Foreign Languages at Saigon International University in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. In this episode she talks about how the trauma of childhood sibling sexual assault affected her, and the powerful role that faith has played in her healing. She discusses the work that she does with One Life One Heart and shares her passion for supporting survivors.
One Life One Heart
https://onelifeoneheartinternational.org/
Michelle's Story - She has a book!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1543114660/
Learn More: Child Sexual Abuse
https://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse
Learn More: Incest
https://www.rainn.org/articles/incest
Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Twitch Livestreams with Hecate!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
New Finding OK You Tube Channel!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q
Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself.Support the show
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Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma. She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and become a part of her healing, and how self-care helps her through the difficult times in life.
Paula is originally from Tanzania, she has traveled and lived all over the world and now makes her home in Atlanta, Georgia where she talks shit and is fabulous.
Talk Shit With P
https://open.spotify.com/show/0HSn3hI86EWSQmpYgBFjL9
Hecate's Guest Episodes on TSWP
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx?si=1c669cb97d8d4570
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jjng1kpPhETrFOHznlGXz?si=d-AYRUVJQCa7SkJwTzg27Q
TSWP Merch
https://talkshitwithp.shop/
Press on Paula
https://canvasrebel.com/meet-paula-sima-mulamula/
https://herforward.com/a-mental-health-advocate-suggests-talking-shit/
Paula's Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/talkshitwithp
Buy Paula a Coffee!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/talkshitwithp
Paula's Links
https://www.flowcode.com/page/talkshitwithp
Testing and Reporting Info (USA)
https://www.rainn.org/articles/rape-kit
Join Hecate on Twitch 11/29/22 @8p EST for a special Finding OK Livestream Q&A with special guest, Kaitlin Bellamy from episodes "Purity Culture is Grooming Parts 1&2". Join us in chat and ask us anything!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
Finding OK Letters for the Fire Project - Deadline for Entries is 12/31/22
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Become a Patreon Member to support Finding OK and gain access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show
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Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and mental health issues that have affected their lives and made them who they are. In this episode Emi shares her story of surviving family childhood sexual abuse, she talks about how disclosing changed her family forever, discusses the pain of discovering her abuser was being protected by a family member, shares her journey becoming a parent, explains how how podcast came into being, and shares what her healing journey has looked like.
Emi is a mom, a podcaster, writer, wedding planner, a cat lover, and a survivor of sexual abuse.
Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics
https://open.spotify.com/show/4QprfSM0CI6gUxizyVdBnK?si=06eaed550e1441c4
Motherful Episodes with Emi's Story:
Emi's Story: Childhood Sexual Assault
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TR05HDyRD3p8dVpdDDsDa
Birth Stories: Planned & Unexpected Part 2
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4aiFZ05BwirzGhpbi60Uky
Mystery Topic: Abortion
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6z9cmiWBBDcJpuDmZLfBmX
Healing Family Trauma
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3SzSI4JKW6YV2dSEGHMZdz
Motherful Social Links:
https://www.facebook.com/MotherfulPodcast
https://www.instagram.com/motherful_podcast/?hl=en
Courage to Heal
https://www.ellenbass.com/books/the-courage-to-heal/
Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/
Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to exclusive bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show
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Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she’s a part of End Violence Against Women International’s “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she’s doing in the world.
Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Brown is a 26-year-old sports marketer, podcast host, mentor, public speaker, model, youth educator, nonprofit founder, and Miss Wisconsin USA 2022. For the past year she has worked with the Milwaukee Bucks where she began as a Sales Associate and was promoted to Coordinator of Partner Strategy and Management November 2021. As a podcast host, she is able to empower young women pursuing careers and as a nonprofit founder, she provides resources to help support sexual assault victims through their journey to healing. Hollis is a high school graduate of Savannah Arts Academy and college graduate of Virginia Tech. For over 18 years, she trained nationally in ballet, contemporary, and tap dance. For fun, Hollis enjoys hot yoga, solving escape rooms, and kickboxing. Hollis will compete for the coveted title of Miss USA during the national broadcast later this year and if she wins, will advance to the internationally televised 2022 Miss Universe competition.
Hollis Brown Website
https://www.holliscbrown.com/
Hollis's Story
https://evawintl.org/survivor-voices/hollis-brown-2/
EVAWI - End Violence Against Women International
https://evawintl.org/
Vote for Hollis! - Miss USA Viewer's choice (Cost about $2)
https://missusa.com/miss-contestants/
More Info:
The Red Zone is the period of time between mid August and Thanksgiving break. Over 50% of college sexual assaults occur during this time period.
https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/red-zone
Articles explaining Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn (or Appease). This came up in the episode and I wanted to provide an explanation because we didn't talk more about it. Your response is natural, it's valid. and it's not your fault.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response
https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html
Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/
Donate
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus material, a look behind the scenes, and occasional video episodes! Tier 3 members gain access to Hollis's video episode.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Letters for the Fire - Information and submission instructions
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/Support the show
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Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.
Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.
This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.
Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can! Donation links below!
Links
Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/
Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html
https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1
Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip
Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg
Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop
Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Mormon Church Abuse Article:
TW/CW for this article!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-eSupport the show
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Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.
Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.
This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.
Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can!
Links
Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/
Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html
https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1
Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip
Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg
Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop
Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Mormon Church Abuse Articles:
TW/CW for these articles!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e0e39cf9aa4fbe0d8c1442033b894660
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/08/10/mormon-church-child-sexual-abuse/Support the show
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In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is embodied and experienced afterwards. During this experience I talked my way out of further violence or the escalation of violence, I share my thoughts about "manipulation" as a survival technique. Being stalked was deeply traumatizing; I share some of the PTSD symptoms I experienced, how they affected my life, and interfered with my ability to get an education.
Join me on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
Letters for the Fire - learn more
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/
Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show
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In this episode my friend Sage and I listen to audio we recorded two years ago during lockdown and reflect on it. We talk about (and feel our way through) some of the very intense systemic issues we're facing in America and in the world. We talk about self-care, finding ways to keep moving forward, staying resilient, and finding ways to engage and stay hopeful.
Sage is the creator of Real Human Better, a Social Permaculture course and community. She loves permaculture, compost, food made with love, deep conversation, horror movies, playing with her dog, gaming, and ITS Bellydance...our dogs are besties.
Sage on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce
Sage on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/sagecirce/?hl=en
Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/?ref=page_internal
Join the Discord server! Invite link can be found on the Facebook page!
Real Human Better on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/real.human.better/?hl=en
Mankind Project
https://mankindproject.org/
Check out Qasim Rashid
https://www.instagram.com/qasimrashid/
Active Hope - How to face the mess we're in with unexpected resilience and creative power
https://www.activehope.info/
Book:
https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781608687107
Touch Isolation Articles
https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men-of-touch-239987952f16
https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/11/male-affection-and-touch-homophobia-ruins-platonic-touch-for-straight-men.html
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-men-of-touch/
Passion Planner - my favorite planner made by a small company that started as a Kickstarter.
https://passionplanner.com/
Hecate on Twitch! Join me for gaming, ASMR, art, and podcast Q&A livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok
Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK
Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself!Support the show
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