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This is inspired by the "No Country for Old Men" film and novel, which I believe confronts the audience with their narcissism.
We will go through all the narcissism DSM traits, along with proposed antidotes to them.
(00:27) Books Recommendation
(02:39) Richard's Disclaimer About Him Going Political
(06:15) "No Country for Old Men" as a Story Deconstructing Our Narcissism
(12:43) Meta-narrative About Storytelling (Narcissism of the Audience)
(13:29) The Red Pill Philosophy for Narcissism
(15:59) Humility as a Skill of Self-examination
(18:45) Being Boundaried in Our Grandiosity (Your Story is Important to You)
(25:06) Prioritizing Truth and Reality Over Fantasy
(27:58) Neediness for Admiration
(32:22) Finding Value in Yourself as an Antidote
(34:38) Entitlement
(40:38) Nobody is Coming to Save You
(42:15) The Antidote - "I'm Not Owed Anything and Don't Really Need That Much"
(43:15) Exploitativeness (Others Also Have Fears, Needs and Lives)
(48:55) Zero Empathy and Empathy Exercises
(50:00) Envy and Gratitude
(50:52) Recap
(51:50) Bullying and Abusing
(53:24) In the History, the Snake Will Always Eats His Own Tail
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Narcissistic parent is prone to treat their child in either of two ways.
Overpraising (Golden Child) or shunning and scapegoating (Black Sheep).
What is the reason behind that kind of parenthood and how does it impact the children development?
Find out in this episode.
(01:10) The Big Long Screaming 'Nooo' of Denial
(05:25) Narcissistic Shell (Reality Split)
(08:40) Communication With NPD Through His Shield
(11:16) No Boundaries and the Godlike Position NPD Takes
(13:46) The Story of a Golden Child and a Black Sheep as Narcissist's Two Sons
(20:46) Scapegoat
(24:08) Codependent That Has Been Cast Out Into the Darkness
(27:02) //Q&A Section//
(27:17) "Do you think narcissists despise sensitive emotional children because they are everything they can never be or do, they see it as a weakness?"
(29:07) "Can the black sheep/golden child switch roles continually between two children?"
(29:20) "Can divorce parents reverse the scapegoat and golden child roles with their two kids?"
(29:57) "Can the same child be a golden child and a black sheep simultaneously when there's only one child?"
(30:35) "Would NPD commit suicide or are they too emotionally immature, or do they get others to commit suicide for them?"
(30:47) "Can the black sheep help the golden child?"
(31:01) "Is it possible for a golden child to change?"
(31:33) "What if the golden child rebels against the parent?"
(31:49) "Is every NPD recruited by another NPD in their mirrored reality?"
(32:11) "There's too much entitlement today"
(33:06) "Why is the narcissistic parent angered by the scapegoat happiness and success?"
(34:13) "Does a black sheep manifest as a codependent?"
(34:37) "Would it help to understand their worldview or is it a waste of time?"
(35:03) "Does the medical community currently recognize the rate of people driven to suicide by NPD's?"
(38:36) "Can the NPD manipulate their children that they rather spend time with him?"
(38:57) "Why as the black sheep, am I the only one to see the evil in the NPD parent?"
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Could Social Media be more healthy?
These platforms could be completely redesigned, and even serve us better.
Check out the suggestions how it could be done, alongside with an explanation of social media mechanisms.
(00:03) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 1
(03:53) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 2
(07:47) What Can We Learn From These Studies?
(08:28) Sam Vaknin’s Suggestions: Step 1
(11:50) Step 2 and Step 3
(14:37) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 1
(17:49) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 2
(21:18) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 3
(26:10) The Crux of the Matter
(28:36) Why Social Media Should Charge a Fee and Why It Would Work
(33:28) Getting Rid of the Likes
(34:55) Examples of How Some Companies Went From Free to Fee and Benefited
(39:46) Social Media Executive Might All Have the Fraud Syndrome
(44:40) What Would Happen to a Micro-famous Young Person Who Also Thinks It’s a Fraud
(46:30) Sam Vaknin Adds to Richard’s Answer
(51:19) That Constant Pulling Out of the Smartphone to Check Seems to Be Compulsive and Nervous
(55:16) Psychological Background to Why Social Media is So Addictive
(58:28) We All Have Recognition Hunger
(1:02:14) In Social Media It’s Almost Impossible to Obtain the “Positive Stroking”
(1:06:34) The Idea of Six Human Needs
(1:08:45) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 1
(1:12:23) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 2
(1:16:41) Richard Adds to the Explanation
(1:19:41) Would Bringing Storytelling Back to Social Media Convert Conditioning to Addiction?
(1:22:16) Holocaust Was a Form of Mass-conditioning
(1:27:06) The More Primitive is the Conditioning, the Harder It is to Break
(1:31:25) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 1
(1:36:33) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 2
(1:40:16) Social Media is Not an Innocent Tool
(1:42:10) The Ring From the Lord of the Rings Analogy
(1:44:32) They Cannot Claim That They’re Not Trying to Coerce People
(1:48:37) Goodbye
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Isn't it dangerous to crush people's optimism with a medical sounding condition?
Depending on which filters/models you use to approach the symptoms, you will get different results.
Realize how much of how we think about the problem impact our ability to solve it.
There is no one and only way of looking at things.
Consider the alternatives - you have a choice.
(00:37) A Metaphor for the Violence Done to Human Psyche
(03:11) How One's Skill of Sitting Alone Comfortably Have Been Warped
(05:16) Reframing of How We Name the Symptoms
(06:51) Is That Label/Model Useful or Disempowering?
(08:14) Let's Consider the Alternatives (Option 1 or Option 2?)
(10:41) Is It Not Dangerous to Crush People's Optimism?
(12:09) Few Suggestions for Bending Back to Shape
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How to get through 2020?
How do we deal with what's coming next?
This year poses many challenges.
How to keep going AND come out stronger on the other side?
Here is my short take on this.
(00:01) Trauma Causing Warps in the Human System
(04:18) How Does That Relate to 2020?
(06:59) Altering Our Story & Focusing on Optimism
(11:37) Coping, Humility and Being a Grown Up
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Narcissism expert Sam Vaknin talks about a necessary and crucial modality change if NPD is to be treated.
(00:14) Narcissistic Abuse Is A Plea For Help
(04:00) Narcissists Associate Empathy With Pain
(06:37) We Need To Treat Narcissists Like Traumatized Children
(08:01) Sam Talks About Recreating The Traumatic Environment In The Therapeutic Context
(13:00) The Issue Of Perceiving Narcissism As A Personality Disorder
(16:06) The Problem Of Getting The NPD To The Therapeutic Environment
(19:25) Sam Says Why He's Able To Dig Into Multiple Scientific Fields
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Can your social status give you depression?
You might have heard about a connection between depression and serotonin.
And a connection between serotonin and your position in a social hierarchy.
How does it really work? What is it that makes us and our neurochemistry happy?
(00:27) Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome
(01:47) Depression/Trauma Causes Low Serotonin, Not the Other Way Around
(02:40) The Social Hierarchy and Serotonin Levels Connection
(03:59) Social Isolation as a Cause for Dropping in Hierarchy
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All about recovery from emotional abuse and CPTSD in this Q&A session, also including two live chats.
(00:00) What does setting boundaries with ourselves exactly mean?
(04:27) Richard Mentions His Experience and Qualifications
(06:59) Cultivating the Virtue of Discipline
(09:09) How to deal with anger and realization that you have been used?
(20:11) How do you open yourself up to a relationship again after being in one with a narcissist?
(22:29) Where do I begin to find a treatment or a therapist regarding CPTSD?
(24:15) How do you stand on dissociative personality disorder?
(27:17) The 4 Stress Responses & Explaining the Freeze Response
(31:54) Split Personality, Parts & the Problem With Psychological Models
(37:44) How many sessions on average it takes for somebody to get better?
(41:54) Does the CPTSD and flashbacks go away if someone does the necessary self-help work?
(44:40) Is recovery from childhood abuse kind of reframing and understanding ourselves and what happened?
(45:53) Is it normal for your physical body to get sick or tired during the self-help work?
(49:39) Is it normal for a covert narcissist or borderline to accuse their mate of being a narcissist?
(52:59) People Willing Playing the Game With Abusers
(55:20) How do we know we are not projecting the narcissism on others?
(58:53) Is everyone who was or is in relationship with narcissist a codependent?
(1:01:09) What do you do when there's hardly anyone left in your left? (avoiding the post-traumatic embitterment syndrome)
(1:08:04) Getting Into a Trauma Bond With Institutions and Programs for People With Addiction
(1:13:32) Is there a way to deprogram this?
(1:14:31) The Golden Child and Scapegoating
(1:16:26) Goodbye
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I've said for the past 6 years that I do not believe there could ever be a cure for narcissism. That position is something I've maintained because of the NPD impulse to dismantle the therapeutic process.
If a narcissist could be convinced not to do that (and I explain a possible method of how this could be done in the video) then there is a CHANCE they could be healed.
But it would be very, very difficult and the Narcissist, NOT the therapist, would have to be willing to put in extremely challenging work, every day for a year or so.
In the video I explain why it's akin to someone being in a coma for a long time learning to walk again
I'm not a clinician, I'm not qualified to diagnose or do psychotherapy work with anyone.
Nor have I ever altered someone with full-blown NPD in any but the most cosmetic ways through coaching.
But if there is a chance for full healing, I think it depends on these 5 key points.
(00:49) Understanding of CPTSD
(02:24) Dealing With Emotional Dysregulation
(05:51) Narcissist Trying to Avoid Feelings of Shame
(07:50) NPD is Archetypal (Specific Cluster of Emotions)
(09:50) The Sad Baby Archetype & Recruiting People
(12:18) The Angry Toddler
(14:34) NPD is Not 'Demonic', It's a Response to Trauma
(19:10) On Overcoming the Superego
(21:39) Parent's Injunctions Instilling the Superego
(24:39) Internalized Bad Vs. Good Superego, Corrosion of Boundaries
(28:20) Narcissist Has No Ego
(30:40) The Unrealistic View of the Self (Two Extremes of Good and Bad)
(38:28) Vulnerable Vs. Grandiose Narcissist, Performative Role of the Grandiose Narcissist
(40:50) The Love Substitute & Narcissist's Adulation
(43:50) The "Don't Rise Too High" Injunction
(47:46) Getting Past the Blockage to Heal
(49:11) Switching on the Ego to Resist Superego
(52:43) Developing a Strong Ego Using Philosophy
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This is a quick mnemonic that will make you remember to check, whether, and where, you've given your consent, so you're able to maintain your boundaries.
(00:23) You Are the First Person You Need to Assert Boundaries With
(02:11) It's Not Always Appropriate to Argue (Especially With Non-sincere Communicator)
(03:07) The Biblical Origin of "Non Serviam"
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This is a one, long response to a lady's email, giving a counselling on her problems.
As our patterns are often similar, you may find some of these descriptions accurate to your situation, and the solutions presented helpful.
(00:00) Hello
(00:23) Eczema as a 'Thin Skin' (Boundaries)
(02:42) Being Defensive of One's Parents is Natural
(05:13) Massive Parental Expectations
(06:47) Unclear Communication as a Manipulation
(09:02) What is Overachiever Syndrome?
(14:06) Self-parenting & Acknowledging Your Own Achievements
(15:35) Narcissistic Mother & Emotional Abuse Being Like Psychological AIDS
(19:49) Repressed Drives
(22:55) The Zoo Story About Caging Natural Drives
(25:55) Parent's Not Giving a F
(28:19) Inheriting Parent's Toxic Traits?
(30:26) "I Don't Deal With Stress Very Well"
(32:46) Disney's Lion King Death Scene Might Have Been Traumatic
(35:32) Abandonment Anxiety
(36:28) Brain Playing Upsetting Mental Videos (Imagining a Funeral)
(40:01) Anxiety Attacks as a Result of Overachiever Syndrome & Fear of Death
(42:11) It's Great to Finally Process Grief and Anger
(44:32) Richard's Story About Healing His Sadness Part 1
(47:31) Richard's Story About Healing His Sadness Part 2
(48:19) A Technique for Dealing With Provocations From Martial Arts of Psychology
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Remember how you were graded, and your performance reviewed over years and years by school and institutions?
What could happen if we reverse that?
How would it be like to actually review the situations and people in your life yourself?
How empowering that could be?
Let's find out!
(00:01) Hello, Good Morning
(02:25) Richard's Story About Being a Product in a Relationship
(06:46) Is There a Consumer Mindset in Relationships & Where Does It Come From? (Grades and Reviews)
(15:15) I Am Not Actually Enjoying the Service You're Providing
(17:26) How We Allow Ourselves to Review Other Things (And Criticism of Bad Story Writing)
(20:37) Expanding the Reviewing Mindset
(21:32) Consumer Ideology in Modern Relationships (and Sam Vaknin Reference)
(24:26) The Problem With Having "Gaggle of Geese"/intimacy Clouds
(28:49) You Can't Ask for What You Don't Offer
(29:56) Passive Consumer's Approach is the Worst for Long-term Relationships
(32:52) You Have a Right to Say "This Sucks and I Don't Like This"
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We often listen to the people in high positions, that aren't necessarily qualified to discuss the topics that they do.
In this conversation with Sam Vaknin, we explore the phenomena of the Public Intellectual, and the problems we're facing.
(0:00) What Is A Public Intellectual What Responsibilities Do They Have?
(4:20) Why Is It Hard To Find A Real Public Intellectual These Days?
(7:26) Expertise vs. Anti-Expertise
(12:14) The Problem Of Celebrities Overtaking Qualifications
(15:57) Fake It Till You Make It Philosophy
(18:25) Discussing the Incentive to Radicalize In Order To Get More Money
(21:13) Relativity of Ideas Is To Blame?
(25:13) Some Texts Should Never Be Deconstructed
(27:21) Talking About the Death of the Author
(31:46) The Outcomes Of Interpreting Everything
(33:12) Can A So-Called Public Intellectual Be Involved In Politics?
(35:52) The Role And Responsibilities Of Public Intellectuals
(39:16) Today’s Public Intellectuals Do The Opposite Of What They’re Supposed To Do Part 1
(42:49) Today’s Public Intellectuals Do The Opposite Of What They’re Supposed To Do Part 2
(45:00) Public Intellectuals Launching Their Own Ideology
(49:00) Presenting Ideology as a Science
(53:25) Would Psychology Benefit From Dropping The Pretense?
(56:58) Did Freud Write Controversial Things Just To Sell Books And Seminars?
(1:00:48) Do Sometimes Public Intellectuals Choose To Be Fake In Order To Get What They Want?
(1:03:28) Acquired Situational Narcissism and Today’s Public Intellectuals
(1:06:12) Sam Vaknin Talks About the Public Intellectuals He Admires
(1:10:36) Should Public Intellectuals Comfort People or Tell the Truth?
(1:13:22) Sam Vaknin Talks About Donald Trump
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Healing can be a long journey.
It takes time, yet it brings delightful fruits on the way.
Check out this discussion with two, very experienced coaches, Terry McCoy and Steve Heneghan if you want to hear their insights about recovering from emotional abuse.
(00:07) Steve and Terry Talk About the Reasons Why They Quit Their Previous Jobs Part 1
(03:35) Steve and Terry Talk About the Reasons Why They Quit Their Previous Jobs Part 2
(06:37) Resentment as a Symptom of People Pleaser Syndrome
(07:49) A Story About Cutting Off the Goose's Head
(11:14) How Would It Affect a Child to Be Hyperbolically Praised in a Way They Won't Believe? Part 1
(15:37) How Would It Affect a Child to Be Hyperbolically Praised in a Way They Won't Believe? Part 2
(19:17) Feeling Disgust When Being Approached in an Intimate Context Part 1
(24:04) Feeling Disgust When Being Approached in an Intimate Context Part 2
(28:52) Feeling Disgust Because of the Core Belief That They’re Not Lovable
(32:50) Discussing the McGregor Fight
(37:22) Protecting Yourself From a Narcissist
(40:52) Talking About Reacting Seeking Communication and Triggers Part 1
(44:55) Talking About Reacting Seeking Communication and Triggers Part 2
(49:27) Terry and Steve Discuss Changing the Mindset and Getting Neuroplasticity
(54:34) Externalizing the Locus of Control Makes a Person Open for Narcissistic Abuse
(57:26) “How Does Hypnosis Work With a Person’s Past Trauma and Abuse?” Part 1
(1:02:20) “How Does Hypnosis Work With a Person’s Past Trauma and Abuse?” Part 2
(1:08:08) How Imagination Influences the Unconscious and How Noticing Emotions Can Help Part 1
(1:12:19) How Imagination Influences the Unconscious and How Noticing Emotions Can Help Part 2
(1:14:52) Wrapping Up
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If you only heard about hypnosis from the mainstream, it's probably wrong.
Why, and how it is mythologized?
What can it REALLY do to people?
Here's everything you need to know about hypnosis, including answers to many common questions!
Check it out now!
(00:00) How Hypnosis is Mythologized
(03:16) The Truth of Hypnosis
(07:34) How is It Possible to Fix Your Lifetime of Trouble That You've Never Been Able to Fix Just by Hypnosis?
(12:58) Advice to Anybody Who Wants to Use Self-hypnosis
(16:43) The Difference Between the Conscious and the Unconscious
(20:15) Laying New Neural Pathways With the Help of Hypnosis
(23:41) Whatever You Do a Lot of, You're Gonna Get Good at
(28:57) Why is the World Not Revolutionized by Hypnosis if It Works?
(31:17) Can a Hypnotist Make It So the Person Starts Barking Like a Dog?
(33:33) How Do You Protect Yourself From Unwanted Hypnosis?
(36:42) Is Hypnosis Gaslighting?
(37:13) I Recently Tried NLP Audio Tapes to Promote Weight Loss Only to Find Out I Keep the Weight on to Protect Myself From Intimacy. What Do I Do?
(38:08) The Difference Between Meditation and Self-hypnosis
(39:31) The Consequences of Bad NLP and Hypnosis
(41:26) Can Hypnosis Wear Off?
(42:33) Would Hypnosis Help With Abandonment Anxiety?
(43:56) Will Hypnosis Open Us Up to Demonic Influence?
(45:51) Talking About the Use of Psychedelics
(49:09) Is It Possible for the Subconscious Mind to Pick Up Negative Messages That Can't Be Heard While Being Awake?
(52:09) Can Hypnosis Work on ADHD?
(53:36) Talking About Ayahuasca
(58:31) Wrapping Up
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Differentiating emotional flashback from normal reaction, dating covert narcissist, sense of humor, dealing with people, and more in this Q&A session.
(00:13) Talking About the Difficulty of Reading the “CPTSD: Form Surviving to Thriving” Book
(00:13) Answering Questions About Seminars
(04:38) How to Make a Decision
(06:46) What’s the Difference Between an Emotional Flashback and Righteous Upsetness
(07:33) Talking About Accents
(10:47) Advice for a Person Who’s Dating a Covert Narcissist
(12:34) Mimicking Accents and Telling Jokes About Different Cultures is a Good Boundary Breaker
(14:25) Talking About a Seminar in La
(15:42) A Funny Story About Speaking Chinese
(17:07) What to Do When You’re Feeling Guilty When Taking Care of Yourself
(19:59) How to Un-isolate Yourself After Narcissist Trauma Recovery
(20:34) Recommendation for a Person Who’s Been Diagnosed With Several Mental Health Issues
(22:44) How to Rebuild Neuro Pathways
(24:20) How to Not Experience Fear When Someone Gives a Look or Glares
(30:59) Some People Are Just Dickheads and They Live to Create Chaos
(35:27) Why Do People Like Seeing Others Fail?
(39:54) Why Do People Like to Believe in What’s Fed to Them?
(46:03) Answering Short Questions
(47:25) Talking About Dyslexia
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If there is one thing that can save every human right now, I believe it's this.
The cure to the world's insanity.
A medicine for your mind.
A relief for your soul.
That thing is...
(00:07) Bombardment of Content Stressing the Cell
(04:35) What Are You Letting Into Your Brain?
(05:45) The Content Free Stillness
(07:08) Overstimulating Spectacle of Content
(12:02) Associate in Your Own Body, Your Own Space (And Let the Silence Be the Doctrine)
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Eckhart Tolle, meditation, MKUltra, social media and more covered in this Q&A Session from February 2019.
(00:01) Hello
(01:37) “How can we encourage others to get off social media?”
(05:03) “Flat earth. Where do you stand on this?”
(06:22) “Are you an atheist?”
(08:09) Answering A Question About Doing An Interview With Gabor Mate
(08:50) Answering A Question About Getting Off Social Media
(11:10) Thoughts On Pickup Artists
(14:09) “What are the points where you disagree with Eckhart Tolle?”
(16:31) Answering Short Questions
(20:16) “Do you meditate?”
(23:40) “What’s the best way to heal codependency?”
(25:34) “Have you seen dirty john on Netflix?”
(27:38) Answering short questions
(31:42) Thoughts in MKUltra Part 1
(35:09) Thoughts in MKUltra Part 2
(39:39) Responding To Short Comments
(40:53) Wrapping Up
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What is the Dark Tetrad described by psychiatry?
What are the predatory personalities tactics of manipulation?
Find this out in this short excerpt from a seminar.
(00:25) DSM's Cluster B, Dark Triad and Machiavellianism
(02:27) Differences Between Disorders
(03:44) Megalomania
(05:12) The Zombie Curses and How Do They Work
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Live Q&A Session recording from March 2019, covered topic include social media, BPD, mental health and more.
(00:07) Stating Today’s Topic
(02:20) Ending Up With A Slow Poisoning Effect Of A Dogma
(04:53) What The Channel Grew Up From Part 1
(10:36) What The Channel Grew Up From Part 2
(12:41) Talking About Using Social Media In Order To Learn Together
(14:31) Answering Short Questions
(16:31) “Where Did Your Interest In The Effects Of Social Media Stem From?”
(21:09) Talking About Using YouTube
(25:34) Difference Between The God Complex And NPD
(27:01) Talking About Messianic Complex
(28:03) Thoughts On Gabor Mate With Regard To Addictions And Trauma
(30:15) Thoughts On How Social Media Affects Dating Culture
(35:08) “Social Media Makes Me Fear I Cannot Protect Myself Against Infidelity. Any Thoughts?”
(36:56) Social Media Is A Real Issue Amongst People Of All Ages
(38:46) Is Depression Around Birthday Related To CPTSD?
(39:58) How Do You Reparent?
(41:28) What Do You Do When You Have Troubles Falling Asleep?
(44:08) “BPD Victims Get Shunned And Invalidated Because The BPD Overshadows Their Disorder With A Supposed Attached Stigma. Thoughts?”
(48:09) What Do You Do When Your Friends Are Borderline?
(51:13) Friendships Don’t Last With BPD
(53:46) Extreme Jealousy In BPD
(57:46) “How Can We Step Out Of Resentment?”
(58:51) How We Internally Talk Might Affect Our Health
(1:02:30) “Any Recommendations On PTSD Recovery Literature Besides Pete Walker’s Book?”
(1:05:08) Is There An Overlapping Between CPTSD And Asperger’s?
(1:06:26) Responding To Short Comments
(1:09:53) Wrapping Up
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