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In this episode, I pull back the curtain on one of my own formal communities: the Toastmasters.
Today’s guest is Brendan Smith, a member of the Toastmasters chapter I was part of. Toastmasters is an international speaking club and educational organization, and for four years, Brendan and I met with the group every Thursday: sometimes online, sometimes in person; sometimes as presenters, sometimes as listeners.
We all shared a common goal – to become better communicators and speakers – but there was an underlying benefit, too. You get to know people in a formal community. Over time, you develop a feeling of belonging to it.
Since talking with Brendan, I have to admit, I did not renew my Toastmasters membership. I was not able to invest in it the way I felt I should have due to work and health stuff I’ve been going through. And though it’s not a part of my weekly schedule anymore, I have such fond memories of the Toastmasters. It will always be a valuable part of my story and community.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
What a formal community is and the importance of its regularity, from its structure to its shared goalsWhat it was like joining Toastmasters with Brendan early COVID and what our club looked like: the variety of members of different ages, careers, and backgroundsThe importance of discomfort, shared experiences, and informal interactions in building a strong formal communityWhat we learn when we’re experiencing things with people – or talking with them “side-by-side” instead of face-to-face
Resources & LinksLike what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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This episode, about navigating friendship through chronic illness, is deeply personal to me.
In last week’s episode, I shared about my own recent health issues, but I think this information is good to have no matter your situation. Chances are, chronic illness will impact somebody in your life in your lifetime.
Today’s guest is Catherine, a business coach, founder of Catherine LifeDesign, and a survivor of chronic illness. Here, Catherine shares about her “perfect storm” of life events – including a miscarriage and Hashimoto’s disease diagnosis – that resulted in a severe health crash.
Chronic illness is hard. There is no exact solution on how to navigate friendships around this; it’s so personal and so nuanced. But my hope is that this one more story out there offers ideas on how to deal with this if it’s impacting your own life.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Catherine’s dream life: a successful business, a tropical Mediterranean home – and how it all fell apart with her three-year illness that stumped so many doctorsThe power of the friends who kept calling and asking how she was – a simple thing that offered comfort and support thousands of miles awayThe skill of managing your own emotional state and seeking the right support when you need it (and the importance of supplementing with professional support)The skill of rebuilding relationships, which Catherine learned on her healing journey, and how she views and interacts with friends nowHow friendship roots change when somebody goes through a major life change or illness (and how that impacts the work required to maintain the friendship)Resources & Links:
Follow Catherine on Instagram and on her website.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharing these conversations with your friends.
In this episode, I share some life updates and talk intensely about the Wheel of Connection (view this visual diagram!), which is a foundational concept to my work. I give an overview about each of the categories, and at the end of the episode, I talk about how to do a basic Wheel of Connection audit.
You deserve Level 10 support, and hopefully this helps you to take more intentional action to develop the connections you need for this season of life.
Want to go even deeper? Sign up for my newsletter to receive more information, including announcements about my forthcoming book and the Wheel of Connection audio guide.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Life updates regarding my health, two Taylor Swift concerts, and the major milestone of this episodeThe Wheel of Connection: why I made it, why it’s round, why it looks different for everyoneHow your own Wheel of Connection is constantly changing: people move between categories, and different categories grow and shrink depending on your needsWheel of Connection components: family of origin; family of choice; formal community; acquaintance; and familiar/defined/present/historic friendHow the Wheel of Connection and Roots Framework work together, and how to conduct a Wheel of Connection auditResources & Links:
Here are some visuals of the Wheel of Connection and my Roots framework. Want more? Sign up for my newsletter to receive more information, including announcements about my forthcoming book and the Wheel of Connection audio guide.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Individualism is woven so deeply into the fabric of American culture that sometimes we don’t even notice it. But what if this cornerstone of our culture is costing us more than we realize?
Today’s guest is James F. Richardson, a cultural anthropologist who spent two decades studying American society – which included living a more communal life in South India for three years. His new book, Our Worst Strength, challenges our approach to individualism as a way of life.
I read the book, and it was interesting to notice what came up. Most eye-opening was realizing how deeply ingrained the individualism mindset is. I simultaneously didn’t like what I was reading about individualism and didn’t want to change anything about it.
Was this eye-opening for you too? Be sure to read James’s book and check out his substack. If you’re like me, thinking about what a number individualism has done on our lives, remember we can’t change this overnight. It takes small shifts over time to make big change.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
How American society often values personal autonomy and freedom at the expense of responsibility and obligationThings that have affected communal interactions in America, from societal norms that prioritize achievement to the rise of modern media and entertainmentHaving meaningful conversations and sharing skills with friends instead of using friendship as a source of entertainmentThe need for community members to observe and inquire about the emotional well-being of others Getting comfortable with bringing together people who are in different phases of life; plus, why I hate the “200 hours to make a friend” statResources & Links:
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Have you ever felt like you’re ALWAYS the one giving a shoulder to cry on – but don’t have one to cry on yourself?
I think it’s a common issue among friends. Personally, I used to brag about how I’d drop everything to help a friend in need – but I eventually discovered it wasn’t sustainable, and my friends didn’t reciprocate in quite the same way.
Today’s guest, Chrissy Marie, experienced similar issues, having always been the “space holder” or “fixer” for other people but never sharing the depths of her own emotions – which consequently led to one-sided connections.
Here, Chrissy – who is also a trauma-informed embodiment practitioner and founder of The Art of Aliveness podcast – shares her journey of unraveling these patterns and offers tips on how to build a diverse support network that holds space for ALL of you – no fixing required.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Chrissy experience being the “space holder” for other people and the watershed moment that cracked her openThe fear of losing a friendship if you decide to pull back (and my own personal experience with this)Why, sometimes, being the “fixer” isn’t actually supporting people in the way you think it isThe difference between allowing people to know something about you vs. allowing them to see your feelings and emotions about itFire circles, reparenting the child inside you, a brilliant structure for a Zoom call, and filling the gaps with professional supportResources & Links:
Be sure to follow Chrissy Marie on her website and listen to her podcast, The Art of Aliveness.
In this episode I mentioned Episode 49 about small talk; Episode 91, about taking charge of your guest experience; Episode 74 about small intimacies; and Episode 85, about shifting people-pleasing patterns.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Have you ever hesitated to set a boundary with a friend for fear of pushing them away?
Or, maybe you found yourself on the receiving end of unspoken expectations and left guessing what your friend truly needed.
Our friendships are some of the only relationships we have by choice – but sometimes that freedom can make us hesitate to trust. We’re subconsciously testing our friends, waiting for them to prove they will show up and listen. These tests can strain a friendship.
But what if setting boundaries didn’t have to be a test? What if instead we saw it as a bridge: a way to deepen the connection and show our friends how to love us better?
Today, I talk all about friendship boundaries with Zya Be, host of the podcast Your Hell Yes Life. We share real-life experiences with boundaries in friendship and stories about those bridge-crossing moments.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
When owning your “yes” is also about owning your “no” – and how to reassess boundaries that are no longer serving youBeing cognizant and upfront about how you like spending time with people, plus, how to create bridges instead of boundariesDifferent ways you can take a “friendship pause” if a pattern isn’t working rather than immediately ending the friendshipSmall intimacies, self-love, self-care, and the importance of being explicit about what’s needed when you (or a friend) are going through a hard timeResources & Links:
In this episode I mention Episode 40 and Episode 54, which are both about neurodivergent friendships, and Episode 74, which is about small intimacies.
Listen to Your Hell Yes Life with Zya Be and follow her on Facebook.
Read Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Today I’m going to share my personal hot takes about friendship.
If you’ve been listening to Friendship IRL for a while, you’ll recognize some of these ideas, but some thoughts are new, and some I haven’t presented as directly as I do today.
I was inspired by Danielle Bayard Jackson’s recent episode on the Friend Forward podcast, “6 Hot Takes on Female Friendships.” Here, I cover topics ranging from making friends with people of the opposite gender (which I love!) to the term “best friend” (which I hate!).
Honestly, I think doing this work has cemented a lot of these friendship beliefs for me, but I’d love to hear your thoughts: which hot takes do you agree or disagree with? This is a great episode for new listeners to start with, so please: send this to a friend, too!
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The fallacy that we need only a few close friends (and in particular, a best friend) and the truth about what the most supportive network actually looks likeHow diversity in friendships can help us imagine different ways to live and be in the world – and consequently better understand ourselvesOver-sharing vs. under-sharing in friendship and why it’s actually not a bad thing when we’re not invitedThe possible repercussions when you finally allow yourself to be uncomfortable in friendshipResources & Links:
This episode was inspired by Danielle Bayard Jackson’s recent episode, “6 Hot Takes on Female Friendships.” Danielle is host of the Friend Forward podcast and was a guest here during Episode 77 about female friendships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Imagine you’ve made the move you’ve always dreamed of.
You live on the other side of the world and experience a new culture. It changes how you see your life – and almost imperceptibly, it changes you, too. When you return home, things are different among your friends. You don’t fit in the way you used to.
Today’s guest, Linda Mueller, has lived this challenge firsthand through seven international moves over the course of thirteen years. Today, she is a life coach and mentor who empowers international women in the journey of relocation and repatriation.
How do you reconnect with old friends when you’ve become a different version of yourself? While Linda’s story centers on international relocations, I think there are takeaways that apply to so many transformative life experiences.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The impact on relationships based on emotional intimacy roots when we become new versions of ourselvesReverse culture shock and the importance of keeping an open mind when it comes to forging new connections and maintaining old onesThe instinct to add vs. to cut when it comes to looking at the scope of friendships in our lives (and in particular, adding people with similar interests or available time)Juggling a mixture of glass and plastic balls, and focusing on harmony instead of balanceHow technology enables us to hold on to so many more people than we used to – which creates new challenges!Resources & Links:
Sign up for Linda’s newsletter and receive five strategies to make the most out of your time abroad, and follow Suneera Madhani, whose brilliant metaphor about juggling plastic vs. glass balls is mentioned in this episode.
Go back to Episode 12 and learn about my theory about the Roots Framework and listen to Episode 87 about spring cleaning your friendships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything you have to do (while still worrying you aren’t doing enough!) then this episode is for you.
Today I’m talking about burnout with Lesley Waldron, is a burnout coach who is also a sandwich caregiver (a parent and caregiver to a parent). Much of our conversation tackles this conundrum: friendship is hard during burnout, yet, it’s also crucial for our well-being.
I wish I could say this episode has all the answers, but unfortunately there is no magic solution. We’re here to acknowledge a challenging situation many of you face and offer small ways to ease burnout in your own life.
Sometimes what you need most when you’re running on empty is actually a social connection: a hug, a swim date, a walk, or a living room dance party with a friend.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The stressors of being a caregiver, plus, the neurological and physiological shifts stress triggers in your body, from blood pressure to focusDifferent ways to “complete” the burnout stress cycle, from physical activity and laughter to social interaction and affectionEmotional labor: expressing your emotions to accommodate and elevate the emotions of others (which is common especially among women)Four steps to use social connection as a means to complete the cycle if you’re experiencing burnoutGroup gatherings vs. one-on-one gatherings: which do you find more restorative? Plus, the role of oxytocin in combating burnoutResources & Links:
Read Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski and Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping our Lives and How to Claim Our Power by Rose Hackman.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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There’s no better way to test your friendship skills than to move to a new city, and today’s guest, Leannda Shearer, has moved to a new city not once or twice but eight different times!
So, at this point, you could say she’s an expert at building a support system. With each new move, she’s learned that it takes not just the right skillset but also the right mindset to create meaningful connections.
Leannda is also a resilience coach and host of the podcast Rising with Phoenix Grace, and in this episode, she provides amazing tips and tricks on how to make new friends after a move, plus, some of her favorite quotes about friendship.
There’s a lot packed into this episode, and I think these tips apply to anyone who’s trying to make an impact or change in their friendships or community.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The skillset AND mindset required to make new friends, plus, the benefits of even “surface level” connections (see my Wheel of Connection framework)Making friends and “putting things on the wall,” even when you know this place is only temporary (and how to not overthink your connections that aren’t reciprocating)How new friends see you for who you are in this moment and not just who you used to be or what you’ve gone throughSome of Leannda’s favorite places to make new friends, from meetup.com to networking nights to Facebook groupsSome of Leannda’s and my favorite inspirational quotes regarding friendship, from Heidi Priebe to Winnie the PoohResources & Links:
Listen to Leannda’s podcast, Rising with Phoenix Grace.
Listen to Episode 48 with Michele Reichman and be sure to look at my Wheel of Connection framework.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Sometimes, when our social lives feel lacking, we find ourselves living vicariously through others and wondering: how come they’re all living their lives and I’m not?
This is the experience today’s guest, Christine Hetzel, found herself in during a kind of quarter-life crisis. To turn her friendship situation around, she took the initiative and began organizing different kinds of public meet-ups.
Today Christine is the host of the Time for Brunch podcast and blog where she coaches clients on how to prioritize their own needs and personal development. She has since organized meet-up groups around the world with hundreds of members.
This episode is packed with inspiration on how to make the connections you want right now. As Christine reminds us, you can’t sit around and imagine things might magically change. You have to go and take action.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
How Christine turned her friendship situation around by organizing meet-ups all over the worldThe sometimes under-appreciated work of event-organizing, and how to not take things too personally in friendships (especially new ones)The joy of friendship match-making, and how to broaden your network not as a means to “close the deal” but widen your possibilitiesBeing curious about what lights people up, and the conversation starter we both hate the mostFolding past friendships, relationships, and acquaintances into your next season of friendshipsResources & Links:
Listen to the episodes Christine mentions in this episode including Episode 24 (Marco Polo), Episode 41 (the Liking Gap), Episodes 44 and 48 (finding friends on the internet), Episode 49 (navigating small talk), and Episode 91 (party/event envy).
And be sure to check out Christine Hetzel’s blog and podcast, Time for Brunch and listen to the episode I recorded with her!
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.
Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world and socializing, and I get it. Attending a gathering takes energy. Sometimes it feels awkward. But gatherings can also make us feel inspired and supported and invigorated.
Today I offer an approach that will help you take charge of your guest experience with three simple questions. You can ask yourself these questions before you leave, while you’re driving, or even on your way inside. It’s that easy.
My hope is that this episode helps more gatherings feel like time well-spent – and that, consequently, you’ll want to say yes to more invitations in the future, too.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Why do we like being invited? What feeling do we think a gathering will offer? And why do we sometimes feel dread on the day of?What the very best gatherings can provide: a shift in momentum, a feeling of relief, a connection made, something learnedHow to take charge of our guest experiences and create moments of meaning by asking three simple questionsRemembering that we don’t always know what will happen – and that sometimes the most unexpected gatherings can actually be the most impactfulResources & Links:
Read The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. It’s amazing!
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Do you know men who don’t have close friends?
It’s a common problem (one that I cover in Episode 31 and Episode 32 of this podcast) with major implications. Poor social and mental health in men is connected with all kinds of other issues ranging from suicide and depression to gun violence.
Joining me to talk about this issue is Antonio Neves, a leadership expert, motivational speaker, award-winning journalist, bestselling author of Stop Living on Autopilot, host of the podcast The Antonio Neves Show, and founder of Man Morning.
This episode is full of great advice for men who are looking to rebuild their social circles. His major suggestion: take action! Find a group. Give a friend a call. Put something on the calendar. It might feel awkward, but it’s all part of the process.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
My personal experience seeing the downside of poor friendship support networks when my mom passed away and my dad became a single parent of three kidsFace-to-face communicators vs. side-to-side communicators, and the difference between big conversations at 7 a.m. vs. 7 p.m.Antonio’s advice on how to push past the “Level 1 Listener” status; plus, five of the most powerful words you can say in a conversationThe power of investing in ourselves, particularly our support systems, BEFORE we hit rock bottomResources & Links:
Want to hear more on this topic? Be sure to listen to Episode 31 and Episode 32.
Check out Antonio’s book Stop Living on Autopilot, listen to The Antonio Neves Show, and learn about Man Morning.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Today I talk about two friendship terms I’ve been hearing more about lately: the “couch friend” and the “errand friend.”
Lots of people want these kinds of friendships because they’re supposed to be easy. You do life’s responsibilities together or you do absolutely nothing together – no planning or panic cleaning required.
But how do you find these friends? How do you find someone you’re so comfortable with that you can just sit back and watch TV in your sweatpants together, and it’s not weird?
My thoughts? If you want a couch friend, you have to BE a couch friend. If you want an errand friend, you have to BE an errand friend. In this episode, I offer a few ideas about how to put that energy out into the world, from embracing spontaneity to encouraging your guests to get their own glasses of water.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
What a couch friend is, what an errand friend is, and why these kinds of relationships are often with already established friendsLeaning into a more casual energy from the getgo in a new friendship instead of putting your best foot forwardHow I act when I have couch-type friends coming over (hint, I might be in sweatpants, and I’m probably not panic cleaning)What kind of energy does somebody bring when they come over? Is it roommate energy? Or are you waiting on them?Creative ways you might actually be able to spend time with a couch or errand friend even if you’re a parent or busy adultResources & Links:
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Have you ever gone back to an old friend, only to realize it’s not the same as it was?
This is the experience of today’s guest, Sarah Marie Paige, who in this episode shares about her amazing high school friend group – a group she assumed she’d be able to re-enter without a hitch post law school.
Instead, she learned they couldn’t actually pick up where they left off. Just like with plants, if you don’t water your friendships, they don’t continue to live. So, Sarah created a new community, one that supports her new lifestyle as a lawyer and fantasy writer.
I hope this episode makes those who’ve experienced this phenomenon feel less alone and realize that there are options – you can try to start over with these old friendships, or, like Sarah, you can put your energy elsewhere to build what you need.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Sarah’s high school friends, who kept in touch post graduation via blog for several years but eventually lost touchGrieving the loss of old friendships, which change as we grow older, and the crossroads ahead: do you start over with them or find new friends?Sarah’s life as a fantasy writer, and her books, each of which is a kind of love letter to a specific friend – plus, how she met new friends who support this passionThe importance of having a WHY when it comes to community – why are you bringing these people together? What is your shared purpose?Resources & Links:
Sarah is a fantasy author! Check out her books on her website!
Go back to Episode 12 and learn about my theory about the Roots Framework.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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There are some friendships we just need to let go of. In some instances, this means letting go of an aspect of a friendship. In others, this actually means letting go of an entire friendship.
Today’s guest is Emily Rogers, a transition and leadership coach and the host of the Leap to Lead podcast (which I was recently a guest on; link in the show notes!). Emily has lived overseas for 20 years and has personally navigated many moves and transitions.
She says that with each transition comes a spring cleaning of sorts with past connections, which requires stepping back and reflecting on the energy of these relationships. Can you alter the expectations of this friendship? How will you connect? Is it time to let go entirely?
Hopefully this episode helps you navigate those transitions with more grace and intention, so that, if you desire, those old friendships can still thrive in their new forms.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The different kinds of life transitions that affect friendship: physical moves; starting a family; a new romantic relationship; a medical emergency; finishing school, etc.Instances in which you SHOULDN’T do the work (for example: a toxic relationship; lack of capacity; you simply don’t want to)Recognizing energy: when it’s right, when it’s not right, and when it’s time to shift your friendships (and remembering that what feels right now might not feel right later!)The impact of taking a step back six to eight months after a big move or life transition to make sure your friendships aren’t draining (or sliming!) youManaging interactions with draining people you have to spend time with (for example, doing an activity together or only hanging out in groups)Resources & Links
Listen to Emily’s podcast, The Leap to Lead, which I was recently a guest on!
Go back to Episode 12 and learn about my theory about the Roots Framework.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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Have you ever met someone truly magnetic?
They walk into the room, and suddenly, the energy shifts. People are drawn to them. Some might argue that this is just the way some people were born. They inherited some gene that the rest of us didn’t.
But I believe magnetic individuals are just people who are doing the thing, putting themselves out there and taking action consistently – which over time, creates momentum and that coveted main character energy.
You are the main character in your own life, and when you’re stuck riding somebody else’s waves, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and interests! So that’s what today’s episode is about: creating momentum and embodying that main character energy in your own life.
What main character energy is: taking action, speaking up for yourself, prioritizing community connectionWhat main character energy is not: centering yourself in every relationship; blaming other people as the problem; never taking responsibilityPeeling back the layers of your authentic self and letting yourself be seen, especially the things about you that make you colorful and interestingGiving yourself the glow-up without the life-changing event and making yourself the center of your connection universeThree tips and two challenges to help you get your own main character energy
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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A few years ago, I realized that one of my friendship patterns was actually kind of a problem.
I’d show up for my friends as Superwoman, bragging that I could (and would) drop everything and do anything for my friends – even if it meant betraying myself and my own needs. Then, when I really needed help, I’d never ask for it.
I think we all have friendship patterns and tendencies. Some are good. Some are not. What’s important is taking a step back to determine whether they serve our friendships.
We can talk about this stuff in theory, but hearing real stories makes all the difference, and today’s guest, Deb Blum, the CEO and founder of the Whole Soul Way, shares her own tales with truth and vulnerability, from her historical wariness of female friendships to the midlife realization that made all the difference.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Becoming friends with people who feel “safe enough” and the feeling of being “too much” – plus, the difference between fitting in and belongingMismatches in relationships vs. mismatches in the moment, and how sometimes people just aren’t in the same places at the same timeThe friendship patterns Deb finally realized midlife that were impacting her relationships and how she shifted those to create better onesThe impact our parents have on how we interact with friends and how close we allow people to get to usThe damage it can do to friendships when you don’t share your whole truth – and how people pleasing can actually be a bit of a betrayalResources & Links:
Learn about the Whole Soul Way and follow Deb Blum on Facebook and Instagram.
Dive deeper into these ideas and listen to Episode 15, about managing differences in friendships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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What are your friendship beliefs? What stories do you tell yourself about your friendships?
Today’s episode might be one of the most important I’ve ever recorded because it gets at the heart of so many people’s struggles: core beliefs about friendship.
Here, I’m joined by Sarah Siegert, founder of Friendships Abroad. Inspired by her own experience moving from Hamburg to London, Sarah is a friendship coach who helps people living abroad create meaningful connections and overcome their loneliness.
As Sarah points out in today’s episode, our relationships start with us. If we want healthy friendships, we have to be willing to do the inner work first.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Sarah’s experience moving from Germany to London in 2019 and her struggles to fit in within a whole new countryDoing the inner work and training our brains to see the similarities between each other instead of the differencesCreating new friendship habits and developing close relationships within a friendship groupIntroverts vs. extroverts, recharging your social batteries, and being intentional about what you’re looking for in friendshipsResources & Links:
Check out Episode 42 about friendship trios, which is about developing a close friendship within a group and follow Sarah on Instagram and visit her website.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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I just want to make friends who are in the same stage of life as me.
In this business, I hear some of the same phrases over and over, and this is one of them. I love that goal, and it’s a big part of what I talk about on the podcast. But recently, I’ve also noticed a trend in which people are seeking friends who are in DIFFERENT life stages.
So that’s what I’m talking about today. Why would you want friends in different life stages than you? And more importantly, how do you make and maintain friendships with people whose current life circumstances are so different from yours?
Personally, I’m looking for a walking buddy, and I feel like that perfect someone might not be a fellow entrepreneur in their mid-30s. What friendships are you looking for in your own life? How might people in different life stages add some richness to your social wellness?
In this episode you’ll hear about:
The tendency to lean on sameness or perceived similarity in friendships – and the similarities you can still find between friends in different life stages Why sometimes it’s actually easier to spend time with people in different life stages because they have different time constraintsThe opportunities for sharing wisdom and learning when you’re friends with people who are older or younger than youHow sometimes having friends in different stages of life alleviates pressure to act or be a certain way – plus, ideas on how to find these friends!
Resources & Links:Learn about my Wheel of Connection framework and be sure to check out Episode 77 about female friendships and Episode 15, about managing differences in friendships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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