エピソード
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LITTLE MISS BEE IS LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.
By day, she’s a high-powered working professional proudly shattering glass ceilings and climbing the corporate ladder. But off the clock, she’s a kink-positive, active member of the rope bondage community.
In the final episode of the 3rd season of the GETSOME Podcast, we discuss personal authority, self-acceptance, and keeping it kinky. Our guest, Little Miss Bee, manages to keep her professional and personal worlds completely separate without losing touch with either side of herself. Ultimately, her openness and experiences give us the space to reflect on our own desires and boundaries, helping us find a path towards our own sexual, personal, and professional empowerment.
Show Notes:
[00:00:30] Little Miss Bee describes her very clear sense of direction and openness to various sexual and non-sexual experiences. [00:01:00] The dichotomy of Little Miss Bee's life: a professional by day, exploring her deepest desires by night.[00:03:00] Discusses the importance of consent and boundaries within the kink community, emphasizing her role as both a top and a bottom.[00:05:00] Little Miss Bee's passion for rope bondage, known as Shibari, and her journey from being tied to becoming a rigger.[00:10:00] Talks about seeking connections that go beyond physical interactions, aiming for a deeper, more meaningful connections.[00:15:00] Little Miss Bee reflects on her sexual evolution from a "desirous, sex-positive teenager" to moving slower, taking in the sensuality of it all.[00:20:00] The challenges of maintaining non-monogamy, dealing with societal expectations, and the joys of living authentically.[00:25:00] The allure and etiquette of sex parties, describing them as spaces where consent and hedonistic desires meet.[00:30:00] A perplexing moment when Little Miss Bee confronted prejudice while revealing her open relationship status. -
Imagine being stuck in the “in betweens” of your sexuality.
You’re not “gay enough,” but you’re not “straight enough.” Your sexuality is constantly oversimplified, or oversexualized. You’re stuck wondering… “Am I bisexual enough???”
Though that may not be the reality for all bisexual men, it certainly is a struggle that a lot of people face. Our guest on today’s episode, West, is a bisexual man who learned to embrace his sexuality and accept that he is “enough” exactly as he is.
In his young adulthood, West thought his bisexuality might just be youthful curiosity. But, as his life continued to progress and West continued to mature, he came to realize that his sexuality wasn’t a “phase” or “curiosity.” It was who he was. His journey to this discovery was filled with societal pressures, self-doubt, and uncertainty. But ultimately, West found acceptance, pleasure, and confidence in his sexual identity.
If you have any questions, thoughts, or stories to share after listening to this episode, I’d love to hear from you. [email protected]
Show Notes
[00:00:00] West recounts a story of a dating app match that missed reading his bisexual identity listed on the profile and her reaction once finding out.[00:00:32] Discussion about the common challenges faced by bisexual individuals.[00:01:05] West reflects on his journey of self-discovery and the stigma associated with his sexuality.[00:02:03] Content Warning - Trigger warning for a discussion about sexual abuse.[00:03:14]West shares insights into how he recognized his attraction to both sexes early in his life.[00:06:08] Impact of Abuse - A candid discussion about how the impact of sexual abuse complicated his bisexual journey.[00:08:00] West discussed societal expectations and how they impacted his bisexuality.[00:8:04] Unlearning Sexual Shame Module awareness segment.[00:09:25] West discusses how his past experiences influenced his views on consensual sexual relationships.[00:17:30] The dating scene and challenges and observations from West’s experiences with online dating as a bisexual man.[00:21:01] West shares his approach to online dating as a bisexual man and how his focus on honesty and self-acceptance gets quality matches.Guest: West
Host: Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler
Production: Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios
Listener Note:
This episode contains discussions about sexual abuse that may be triggering for some listeners. Please take care while listening.Engage with Us:
Follow us for more content and updates on Instagram: @getsome_podcast -
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As a sex worker, Shannon Ariel, founder of Pink Banana Sparkles, always had a strong relationship with sex & her body.
…but after her first child, she felt something shift. With a changing body and changing needs, Shannon had to rebuild her relationship with herself, her sex life, and her career.
For many, motherhood takes a toll on their sex lives. Their priorities, bodies, and relationships are drastically different than they were before they had their kids, and getting back to a place of confidence, pleasure, and fulfillment can often be an uphill battle. For Shannon, a retired sex worker turned fashion designer, and mom whose identity is linked to her sexuality, this shift was a jarring one that required her to look at her life from a wider lens. What started as a journey to rediscover her sexuality postpartum turned into Shannon learning to put herself first, having the best sex of her life, and bravely sharing her story so that other women know they’re not alone.
Where to find Shannon?
https://www.pinkbananasparkles.com/
Instagram and Facebook: @pinkbananasparkles
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At a young age, Chris was diagnosed with a medical micropenis. For years, he struggled with sex and dating until he discovered two kinks that fueled a macro sex drive – Small Penis Humiliation and Cuckolding. Talking about shame, sexuality, and penis size is particularly challenging for cis men due to toxic masculinity. But Chris’ story isn’t exclusively for people with penises (or people with micropenises, for that matter). Chris’ journey to self-acceptance and sexual pleasure is an incredible lesson in making the most with what you’re given, and learning to love yourself exactly as you are.
Show Notes
Introduction: [00:00:00]
Chris shares his struggle with feeling inadequate due to his micropenis diagnosis.
Early Diagnosis: [00:00:43]
Chris was diagnosed with a micropenis at a young age, which led to feelings of shame and inadequacy.
He recalls being informed about his condition by a doctor at the age of five, with his parents' reaction being discomfort and avoidance.
Emotional Impact: [00:08:30]
Chris expresses feeling pathetic and inferior due to societal expectations and experiences in high school.
Coping Mechanisms: [00:10:24]
Despite initial struggles, Chris found solace in embracing his kinks, particularly small penis humiliation and cuckolding.
He discusses the arousal derived from these fantasies and his approach to exploring them safely.
Dating and Relationships: [00:17:54]
Chris opens up about his challenges with dating and rejection due to his condition.
He shares his experiences with being honest about his condition and the responses he has received from potential partners.
Self-Acceptance: [00:27:05]
Over time, Chris has worked on building his self-confidence and accepting himself for who he is.
He encourages listeners to embrace their bodies and pursue happiness despite societal pressures.
Closing Thoughts: [00:30:44]
Chris offers words of encouragement to those facing similar challenges, urging them not to give up on finding love and acceptance.
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Finding a friend with benefits can be hard at any age. But today’s guest, Cynthia, faced the daunting task of finding a sexual partner at the age of 78 and following the loss of her husband. She knew that she wanted a friend with benefits, and she even had her eye on someone specific. But the ultimate hurdle? Asking him.
In this fascinating and refreshingly open conversation we discuss:
1. What it looks like to be sexually active in your later years of life
2. The stigma of being a senior citizen who craves casual sex.
3. The nuances of sex with aging bodies
4. Maintaining relationships with your “couple friends” after the loss of your long-term partner
5. How to continue experiencing sexual satisfaction in your 70’s and beyond. Show Notes:
Show notes:
Guest Introduction:
[00:01:28] Michelle introduces Cynthia, a 78-year-old widow, as the guest for this episode.Cynthia shares her journey of grieving the loss of her husband and the subsequent feelings of loneliness and desire for companionship.Exploring Desire and Loneliness:
[00:02:26] Cynthia discusses her newfound desires for companionship and sexual connection after her husband's passing.She reflects on the emotional and physical changes she experienced and how they led her to consider exploring a friends with benefits relationship.Challenges and Fears:
[00:03:39] Cynthia opens up about her fears surrounding trust, communication, and the societal expectations associated with relationships and aging.Michelle and Cynthia discuss the complexities of initiating conversations about sexual desires and boundaries with potential partners.Navigating Boundaries and Expectations:
[00:06:00] The conversation delves into the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining autonomy, and challenging societal norms in relationships.Cynthia shares her concerns about potential changes in dynamics and expectations if her relationship with her friend were to become sexual.Exploring Options and Self-Reflection:
[00:08:51] Michelle offers insights into alternative ways of meeting potential partners, such as matchmaking services and shared activities.Cynthia reflects on the conversation and expresses gratitude for the insights.Conclusion:
[00:10:21] Michelle thanks Cynthia for sharing her story and insights with listeners.She encourages listeners to reach out with their own stories and experiences related to desire, intimacy, and sexual exploration after loss.Closing Credits:
[00:11:39] Michelle provides information on how listeners can connect with the podcast, access online learning modules, and stay updated on future episodes.Acknowledgment of the production team Katie and Kattie from Vocal Fry Studios -
On the surface, Bill is your everyday blue collar man. But a back-breaking injury led him down the unexpected path of sexual enlightenment. Bill takes us along on his journey from discovering Kundalini rising to being catapulted into a world where the lines between pleasure, pain, and awakening are blurred, challenging everything we think we know about male sexuality, pleasure, and the power of self acceptance.
Show Notes:
Introduction to Bill's Journey [00:00:00]: Bill discusses societal misconceptions about anal pleasure among heterosexual cis men, setting the stage for an exploration of sexual boundaries and pleasure.
Challenges of Male Sexual Exploration [00:00:15]: Michelle touches on the cultural silence around male sexual preferences, especially regarding anal stimulation, outside of locker room talk.
Bill's Early Conversations on Sexuality [00:00:26]: An anecdote from Bill illustrates the difficulty of discussing sexual experimentation among friends due to societal taboos.
Kundalini Rising: A Catalyst for Change [00:00:34]: Bill's 12-year journey of sexual awakening through Kundalini Rising is introduced, marking a significant shift in his worldview on sexual communication.
Discovering New Forms of Orgasm [00:00:50]: Bill shares his discovery of the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, experiencing super prostate orgasms for the first time.
The Impact of Life's Stagnation [01:17]: Michelle reflects on how life responsibilities can lead to sexual stagnation, contrasting Bill's early curiosity with his later awakening.
An Injury Leads to Enlightenment [01:34]: The turning point in Bill's journey was seeking pain relief for a work-related injury, which unexpectedly led to a sexual awakening during a massage therapy session.
Registered Massage Therapist [01:50]: A transformative massage therapy session opens Bill up to explore his connection with energy work.
Embracing Kundalini Rising [02:10]: Bill discusses his acceptance and curiosity about why Kundalini Rising chose him, leading to a deeper exploration of his sexuality.
The Reiki Journey [03:15]: A significant healing session involving Reiki introduces Bill to new dimensions of sexual arousal and energy work, deepening his journey.
Arousal Amid Pain: A New Understanding [04:21]: Bill recounts experiencing arousal during extreme pain, leading to questions about the nature of his sexual experiences.
Personal Research and Discovery [05:06]: Following his therapy session, Bill dives into researching Kundalini Rising, seeking to understand the profound changes he's experiencing.
Energy Perception in Social and Intimate Settings [07:09]: Bill shares how his Kundalini awakening has affected his perception of energy in different settings, altering his connection with others.
Further Exploration with a Reiki Master [08:03]: An encounter with a Reiki master friend leads to another eye-opening session, further affirming Bill's experiences and exploration.
Embracing Prostate Massage and Beyond [09:56]: Guided by a sex coach, Bill delves into prostate massage, confronting societal norms and discovering unparalleled levels of pleasure and self-awareness.
The Societal Taboos Around Male Pleasure [10:08]: Bill discusses the societal pressures and misconceptions that deter men from exploring their bodies, particularly the stigma surrounding anal pleasure.
A New Understanding of Pleasure [11:17]: Bill's experimentation with prostate massage challenges his own preconceptions and leads to profound discoveries about his body's capacity for pleasure.
Guidance from a Sex Coach [12:32]: Bill shares how a sex coach encouraged him to further explore his sexual boundaries, emphasizing the importance of self-pleasure and body awareness.
Prostate Orgasms: Breaking New Ground [13:29]: Through self-exploration and guidance, Bill experiences non-ejaculatory, multiple prostate orgasms, a revelation that redefines his understanding of male pleasure.
A Transformative Experience [14:26]: The profound and extended pleasure of a super prostate orgasm leaves Bill in awe, challenging conventional notions of male orgasm and its potential.
Continued Exploration and Growth [15:22]: Bill expresses his ongoing commitment to exploring his sexuality, underlining the positive impacts of his journey on his well-being and sexual fulfillment.
Overcoming Sexual Shame [16:17]: Michelle introduces an online learning module aimed at helping individuals navigate and overcome sexual shame, highlighting the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance.
Advice for Others Facing Sexual Shame [17:10]: Bill offers advice to listeners struggling with their own sexual explorations, emphasizing the value of seeking professional guidance and opening up about one's desires.
The Power of Sharing Personal Stories [18:00]: Bill discusses his motivation for sharing his story on the podcast, hoping to inspire others to embrace their sexuality and challenge societal norms.
Reflections on Therapy and Openness [19:15]: Michelle and Bill discuss the transformative power of therapy and the importance of having safe spaces to explore and discuss sexuality without judgment.
The Role of Communication in Relationships [20:10]: The episode touches on the complexities of discussing sexual exploration within relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and mutual understanding.
Looking Forward: Chapter Two of Sexual Exploration [21:05]: Bill views his journey as the beginning of a new chapter in his sexual exploration, one that continues to evolve as he learns and grows.
Gratitude and Closing Thoughts [22:00]: Michelle thanks Bill for his openness and insights, highlighting the episode's themes of sexual exploration, communication, and the journey toward understanding and embracing one's sexuality.
Invitation to the Audience [22:50]: Michelle invites listeners to share their own stories and engage with the podcast community, fostering a supportive environment for discussing sexuality.
Closing and Resources [23:40]: The episode concludes with an overview of available resources for listeners interested in exploring their own sexual journeys, including the "Unlearning Sexual Shame" module.
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Money is a major source of stress for so many people. We’re always thinking about it, talking about it, and worrying about it. But it’s rare that we think about the way that money affects our sexual relationships. Listen in to our conversation with Master Certified Ontological Coach, Tracey Burns, as we navigate through the seldom-discussed dynamic of money and sex. We delve into how money's influence extends far beyond the wallet and into the heart. We illuminate the challenges and opportunities that arise when navigating income differences with a partner, emphasizing the importance of open, honest conversations about finances.
Today, Tracey is a renowned coach, speaker, and advocate for financial wellness in relationships.
[00:00:00] Introduction to the Episode: Tracey discusses the impact of financial disparities on relationships and introduces the main themes of the conversation.
[00:00:34] The Relationship Escalator: Michelle talks about the dynamics she observes in couples regarding financial discussions and moving in together.
[01:03] Money and Shame: Tracey delves into how money conversations can be laden with shame and how to approach them.
[01:20] Sex, Money, and Society's Expectations: The relationship between sex, money, and societal pressures is explored, with insights on how these aspects influence each other.
[02:11] Ontological Coaching and Money Dynamics: Tracey explains ontological coaching and its application to understanding personal relationships with money.
[03:06] Using Money Conversations to Enhance Relationships: Discussion on how transparent conversations about finances can actually improve intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
[04:05] The Conversation with Tracey Burns: Michelle introduces her guest, Tracey Burns, for a deep dive into the nuances of money and relationships.
[06:01] Unpacking Financial Discrepancies in Partnerships: Tracey provides insights on how couples can navigate differences in income and financial management.
[07:40] Expectations vs. Reality in Financial Contributions: The discussion turns to managing expectations around financial contributions and understanding each other's financial standing.
[09:07] Adapting to Changes in Financial Dynamics: Strategies for couples to support each other through financial ups and downs.
[13:56] Unlearning Sexual Shame: Michelle introduces an online module aimed at addressing sexual shame and its ties to financial well-being.
[14:35] Emotional Infidelity and Financial Secrets: Tracey and Michelle discuss the parallels between discovering financial secrets and emotional infidelity.
[24:05] Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Tracey: The episode wraps up with final thoughts on money, relationships, and how to connect with Tracey Burns for more insights.
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Ready for an Unforgettable Journey of Strength and Resilience?
We’re kicking off season 3 with a conversation with Ally Hensley, a woman who was born with a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) Syndrome, resulting in the absence of a vagina and reproductive organs. Our conversation follows her relationship with her body before and after diagnosis, and talks about her personal healing journey to unlearning the feelings of shame she came to feel surrounding sex and sexuality.
Today, Ally is an author, speaker, writer, and advocate for women’s reproductive health.
Show Notes
[00:00:09] Introduction by Michelle:
Michelle opens the episode by posing a thought-provoking scenario about adolescence, expectations, and the shock of discovering one's body is different, setting the stage for Ally's story.[00:00:30] Ally's Diagnosis:
Ally Hensley recounts her personal experience with MRKH, discovered during her teenage years when she did not get her period, leading to a diagnosis that would forever change her perspective on womanhood and belonging.[00:01:37] Emotional Impact and Isolation:
Ally discusses the emotional turmoil of growing up with MRKH, the societal pressures of womanhood, and the unique challenges of navigating adolescence with a condition few understand.[00:02:08] Humor and Societal Norms:
Despite the challenges, Ally recalls moments of humor and the lengths she went to fit into societal norms, highlighting the complexity of identity and the desire to belong.[00:02:38] Disclosure and Shame:
Ally talks about the internal battle with disclosing her condition, confronting shame, and finding the courage to speak her truth.[00:03:37] Acceptance and Community:
The conversation shifts to Ally's path towards acceptance, the power of community, advocacy, and the importance of unlearning shame associated with MRKH.[00:05:00] Sexual Education and Discovery:
Ally discusses the shortcomings of sex education, her personal exploration of sexuality, and the journey of creating her own vagina, reflecting on societal expectations and the pursuit of "typical".[00:09:14] Medical Journey:
Ally shares her experience navigating the medical world at 16, the options presented for treatment, and the impact of her condition on family dynamics and personal growth.[00:12:46] Stigma and Silence:
The discussion delves into the societal stigma surrounding MRKH, the importance of open dialogue, and the ongoing struggle against shame and secrecy.[00:17:49] Womanhood and Identity:
Ally reflects on the concepts of womanhood, motherhood, and the societal pressures that define female identity, emphasizing the need for a broader, more inclusive understanding.[00:24:28] Reconnecting with the Body:
Ally discusses the complex relationship between pain, pleasure, and body disconnect, sharing her journey towards healing and reconnecting with her body and sexuality.[00:32:06] Overcoming Shame:
The episode concludes with Ally offering ideas for others struggling with shame, emphasizing the importance of community, self-acceptance, and challenging societal norms.Closing Remarks by Michelle:
Michelle wraps up the episode, highlighting the significance of Ally's story in challenging silence and shame around sex and identity, and directs listeners to Ally's podcast, "Stigma Shakers," for more insights and inspiration.Where to Find Ally:
Instagram: @Ally_Hensley
Website: https://allyhensley.com/
Podcast: Stigma Shakers
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/allyhensley
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In this episode, we delve into the hot topic of sending nude pictures in the digital age. Responding to a listener's question, we unpack the risks involved and explore five key strategies to minimize potential harm: consent, self-awareness, anonymity, trust, and legal considerations. Whether you're contemplating sharing an intimate photo or just seeking insight into this modern phenomenon, this episode aims to equip you with the knowledge to make informed and confident decisions. Tune in!
Show Notes:
[00:00:00] Michelle: Introduction
The safety of sending nude pictures.[00:00:11] Addressing a Listener Question
Michelle addresses a listener's question about the safety of sending nude pictures and outlines the objective to discuss five strategies to potentially decrease the associated risks.[00:00:48] Point 1: Consent and Agreement
Michelle emphasizes the importance of discussing consent with the recipient of the photos.She highlights the need for an explicit agreement on how the pictures will be handled (e.g., whether they will be deleted or saved securely).[00:01:08] Self-awareness and Pressure
Michelle encourages self-reflection on the motivations behind sending such photos, and whether one is acting out of their own desire or external pressure.She mentions the possible anxiety that may arise if one is sending pictures under pressure.[00:01:36] Point 2: Anonymity
Michelle suggests ensuring that the pictures do not include identifiable features, such as face, tattoos, birthmarks, or distinct jewelry, to maintain anonymity.[00:02:13] Point 3: Trust
Michelle discusses the importance of trusting the recipient, ideally someone known well.Have an understanding about what will happen to the pictures if the relationship ends.[00:03:04] Point 4: Secure Storage
Choosing a secure, password-protected storage option and being mindful of potential family sharing plans that could expose the pictures to unintended viewers.[00:03:31] Point 5: Legal Considerations
Michelle underscores the importance of being informed about the age of consent and the laws regarding sending explicit photos in one’s jurisdiction, as there can be legal consequences.[00:04:32] Final Takeaway and Conclusion
Michelle concludes by reiterating the two primary options for reducing anxiety when considering sending explicit photos: either ensuring complete anonymity in the photo or opting not to send any photos at all.She emphasizes that both decisions are valid.[00:04:57] Sign-off
Michelle wishes listeners a great day and signs off the podcast. -
Chances are, if you have a unique sexual turn-on, there are many others with the exact same inclination. So many, in fact, that you might just be able to make a career out of it. That's what Milo Miles did. We met Milo last winter at the Dan Savage Amateur Erotic Film Festival, Humpfest. Milo starred in the documentary film "The Boy with the Tighty Whities." The film was selected from hundreds of submissions and was chosen to be showcased in theaters worldwide. This was the first time he revealed a more intimate side of himself and his kink on the big screen, in front of hundreds of people.
We dive deep into Milo's childhood in Colombia, immigrating to Canada, when his interest in tighty whities began, his surprising pivot from politics to adult entertainment, and now, as he undergoes a gay renaissance, we discuss how therapy and social connections have facilitated his journey to self-acceptance. Join us for a raw, eye-opening journey from politics to porn, with self-acceptance at its core. Tune in; it’s a must-listen.
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Milo on fetish origins linked to puberty.
[00:00:29] Michelle on sexuality as a key to understanding clients. [
00:01:16] Introduction of Milo's documentary.
[00:01:35] Milo’s surprise at Humpfest film audience.
[00:01:43] Milo’s transition from politician to the porn industry.
[00:03:48] Comparison of Milo's political and current earnings.
[00:07:24] Milo's acceptance of sexuality through therapy and growth.
[00:09:38] Milo advocates for passion without fear of judgment.
[00:12:09] Milo’s upbringing amidst heteronormative and immigrant perspectives.
[00:15:44] Milo's challenging upbringing and family dynamics.
[00:17:37] Milo's two-part coming out experience.
[00:20:21] Reasons behind Milo’s career change to porn.
[00:22:37] Milo’s parents’ reactions to his career and sexuality.
[00:23:48] Milo’s journey and challenges as an OnlyFans creator.
[00:25:55] Discussion on OnlyFans representation and Milo’s content strategy.
[00:29:04] Milo’s perspective on relationships and friendships.
[00:30:58] Milo’s advice: therapy and the normalization of sex work.
[00:32:44] Milo's contact info. [00:33:53] Closing remarks by Michelle and show info.
Find everything Milo Miles here: https://linktr.ee/milomiles
Production Credit: Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios
Check out what's happening behind the scenes at GETSOME on Instagram @GETSOME_podcast
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Ever found yourself on a date, debating between leaving on a high or just gritting your teeth to the finish? In this episode, we're uncovering the art of gracefully wrapping up dates, with a spotlight on our comfort and safety. Let's navigate the intricacies of those initial encounters. Eager to dive deep? Let's get rolling!
Show Notes
[00:00:00] - Introduction
Ending dates and the decision to leave.[00:00:30] - Slowing down the intimacy of a date
The importance of not rushing into physical intimacy.[00:00:43] - Ending the Date with Kindness
Strategies for ending the date while respecting personal boundaries.[00:01:20] - Pre-Date Communication
Setting time limits beforehand.Suggestions for limited-duration activities.Why bad dates feel like a wasted night.[00:02:02] - Addressing Concerns and Fears
Overcoming the fear of other people's reactions.Prioritizing personal feelings over societal pressure.[00:02:40] - Handling Potential Negative Reactions
Fears of confrontation or anger.The importance of safety and recognizing potential danger signs.[00:03:16] - Safety Tips for First Dates
Keeping personal details private.Limiting access to personal information.[00:03:39] - Prioritizing Personal Safety
Safeguarding personal information.The danger of sharing too much too soon.[00:04:14] - Addressing Ghosting
The downsides of ghosting.Effective ways to communicate disinterest.[00:04:39] - Clear Communication Post-Date
Importance of clear communication.[00:05:19] - Closing Thoughts
The importance of self-respect and avoiding enduring unfavorable situations.Advocate for personal boundaries in dating and intimate situations.[00:05:38] - Outro
Gratitude for listeners and encouragement to join the next discussion. -
Guess what? Even 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' missed the mark on Orthodox Jewish sex! I've got Shely Esses on the show today—a Sex Therapist from Toronto, Canada. With her expertise in Jewish healing, she's here to bust myths and shine a light on the cultural nuances surrounding intimacy within the Orthodox Jewish community. Let's shtup in!
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Shely explains Judaism's sex-positive perspective: Emphasis on marital context for sexual activity.
[00:00:38] Jewish Myths Debunked: The "sheet with a hole" myth from Curb Your Enthusiasm and its origins linked to tzitzit - a traditional Jewish garment.
[00:01:50] Orthodox Jewish Marital Practices: Emphasizes on sexual satisfaction in marital agreements, the importance of physical intimacy, and the varying levels of observance and practice.
[00:03:26] Relationship with Local Orthodox Rabbis: Insights into personal connections, guidance, and the role of Yoetzet – female advisors.
[00:03:54] Mikveh and its Significance: Explores the role of menstrual blood in religious purity, and emphasizes on self-care, rejuvenation, and marital intimacy.
[00:07:21] Addressing Sexual Challenges: Approaches to tackle challenges like low desire and painful penetration, the importance of communication, techniques like dilator work, Sensate Focus, and the role of body image and sexual self-esteem.
[00:10:49] Premarital Counseling in the Jewish Community: Combines religious teachings with modern sexual health approaches while emphasizing pleasure and intimacy.
[00:12:33] Sexuality & Jewish Traditions: Highlights the significance of Shabbat in marital intimacy and the role of traditions in guiding sexual practices.
[00:13:27] Birth Control & Hasidic Community: Navigates the balance between religious beliefs and personal choices, and highlights the importance of rabbinical guidance and personal well-being.
[00:14:54] Addressing apprehensions around first-time intercourse.
[00:15:19] Shely's resources and methods:
Recommends website OMGYES.Describes orgasms with the metaphor of waves.Discusses the importance of understanding the nervous system.[00:15:51] Cultural insights: The significance of post-marriage intercourse in the Jewish tradition.
[00:16:12] The long-term approach to intimacy: Insights on grounding oneself before intimacy, differentiating between calmness and boredom, and advocating for meditation before sex.
[00:17:03] Michelle's input: Points out the resistance against integrating mindfulness and introduces Lori Brotto's workbook.
[00:17:24] Shely on dealing with trauma: Introduces the ventral vagal anchor technique as well as planning sex.
[00:17:48] Scheduled vs. spontaneous intimacy: Discusses the concept of Mikvah Night and addresses misconceptions about spontaneity in intimacy.
[00:18:16] Embracing terminology with confidence: Encourages understanding and confidently using terms related to sexual health and anatomy.
[00:18:49] Michelle's question on addressing shame: Shely emphasizes seeking sex therapy, particularly from professionals familiar with Jewish traditions.
[00:19:25] Resources: Dive into sex-positive aspects of Judaism with recommended readings like works by Dr. Ruth and The Kosher Kama Sutra by Shmuley Boteach.
[00:19:52] Closing remarks: Expresses gratitude to Shely for her invaluable insights and contributions.
Production Credits: katie@vocalfrystudios
About Shely:
Shely Esses RP (Qualifying) holds a marriage and family therapy (MFT) graduate degree from Iona University and currently resides in Toronto, Canada.
Shely is guided by a systemic lens, a way of seeing you as an individual with interpersonal and wider-world impacts on your life. She is passionate about helping people feel comfortable in their own skin. She is delighted to help individuals, couples, and families find balance and healing in their lives.
She is knowledgeable about the Orthodox community, ensuring clients feel understood halachically while discussing mental and physical health. She is also skilled at helping clients with pre-and post-marriage halachot.
Shely focuses on helping clients experiencing discomfort or anxiety about their sexual self-esteem, self-worth, and relationships. She is particularly interested in working with often overlooked or underserved communities, such as those in conservative religious minority groups and people in alternative relationships. Shely is skilled at weaving together practical and holistic techniques to promote nervous system regulation & deep mindfulness.
Resources For Professionals:1) Heavenly Sex: sexuality and the Jewish Tradition Dr Ruth & Jonathan Mark
2) The kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life by Rabbi Shmuleyu Boteach
3) Kabbalah and Sex Magic By Marla Segol
Podcast: Intimate Judaism with Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott KahnFun reads: I will watch you: four short tales of Jewish love and Lust by Shoshana Pearl
Classes Taught by Shely: 3 CEs available! https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/sex-intimacy-and-connection-through-the-lens-of-the-sefirot-10-emanations-from-jewish-mysticism-3-ces-2023/
Disclaimer
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Today we're diving deep into the nuances of initiation. We'll discuss sexual initiation, its dynamics, and why understanding our preferences is more crucial than we might think. If you've ever felt a little out of sync with your partner or just curious about how to create a bridge to sexual connection, this episode is for you. Let's get started!
Show Notes
Intro:
[00:00:00] Introduction and the importance of understanding sexual initiation preferences.Desire Discrepancy:
[00:00:15] The challenge of aligning desires in long-term relationships.[00:00:28] The evolving nature of sexual desires and the fluidity of sex.Initiating Sex:
[00:01:00] How people approach the initiation of intimacy.[00:01:19] Michelle introduces a conceptual exercise to understand intimacy better.The 0 to 10 Scale of Sexual Initiation:
[00:01:30] Visualization of sexual initiation, from no thought of sex to after-sex activities.[00:02:06] Different perspectives on what constitutes the beginning of sexual encounters.Practical Exercise:
[00:02:34] A guide on how couples can use the exercise to discuss their ideal sexual encounters.Conclusion:
[00:03:06] The importance of open communication about sexual experiences.[00:03:30] The goal: a shared, satisfying sexual experience.Outro:
[00:03:50] Closing thoughts, hope for listeners to have more fulfilling intimate relationships.Resources & Links:
Research on post-sex cuddling and relationship satisfaction: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24777441/Exercise adapted from Barry McCarthy's model - 5 Dimensions of Touch in the book Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style -
In this evocative episode, Toronto-based Rahat Pye, MSW, RSW — an adolescent, individual, family, and couples therapist — unravels the deeply personal story of her mother, a Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) survivor from Bombay, India. Diving deep into the trauma, defiance, and resilience, Rahat sheds light on the stark realities of FGM and its profound effect on her mother's life. As the narrative unfolds, we explore the paradox of a mother who, despite her own harrowing experiences, championed the significance of sexual health, intimacy, and pleasure. Tune in for this captivating and insightful conversation you won't want to miss!
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Rahat shares her perspective on FGM and believes it should not happen to anyone.
[00:00:17] Introduction to Rahat, a social worker from Toronto who tells the story of her mother, a survivor of FGM from Bombay, India.
[00:00:43] Explanation of FGM and its severe consequences, including that it's illegal in Canada.
[00:01:14] Rahat mentions her grandfather’s political involvement and how her mother was raised with a mix of tradition and resistance.
[00:01:33] Michelle touches on the trauma of FGM and its implications on her mother's relationship with sex.
[00:02:08] Rahat describes her mother’s painful experiences related to childbirth and FGM.
[00:03:16] Rahat shares that her mother underwent FGM as a young girl in Bombay.
[00:04:09] Rahat contemplates the impact of FGM on her mother's life and her defiance against it.
[00:05:53] Rahat emphasizes that her mother saw sex as important, valuable, and as a means of connection, despite her FGM experience.
[00:06:35] Michelle queries how Rahat learned about her mother’s FGM experience.
[00:07:39] Discussion on how Rahat's mother emphasized the importance of knowledge about their own bodies and sexual health.
[00:09:47] Rahat reflects on her mother’s will to learn and teach about the body and pleasure.
[00:10:57] Rahat provides a backstory on her mother’s immigration to Canada.
[00:13:14] Rahat discusses her mother’s experience with the medical system, trauma during childbirth, and how this affected their relationship.
[00:15:37] Rahat describes her mother's trauma and difficulty around FGM, and how it related to her trust in her body and how it functioned.
[00:15:57] Rahat's mother felt isolated and different due to her FGM experience, especially in a community where she was the only person of color.
[00:16:28] Michelle mentions the fear FGM survivors face when visiting a new doctor or gynecologist, fearing both physical examination and the doctor's reaction.
[00:17:29] Rahat and Michelle discuss the shame and societal perceptions associated with women who have undergone FGM.
[00:18:07] Rahat recalls her mother's bold and rebellious behavior, which she believes may have been her way of reclaiming her body after the trauma of FGM.
[00:18:48] Rahat reflects on her mother's openness about sex and sexuality while growing up.
[00:19:28] Rahat attributes her ease in discussing sexuality to her mother's openness and lack of shame about the subject.
[00:20:06] Michelle emphasizes the significance of Rahat's mother transforming her traumatic experience into a positive force for Rahat and her sister.
[00:21:56] Rahat reflects on her complicated relationship with her mother, admiring her resilience and ability to turn traumatic experiences into positive life lessons.
[00:23:46] Rahat comments on the continuation of FGM in certain parts of the world.
[00:25:46] Rahat describes her mother's determination to reclaim her sexuality.
[00:26:42] Rahat believes her mother would be proud of her for participating in this interview and openly discussing FGM.
[00:27:26] Rahat delves into her mother's attachment trauma and reflects on her own experiences related to childbirth, finding a connection between the two.
[00:28:48] Michelle discusses the intergenerational impact of trauma, highlighting the ripple effects of Rahat's mother's experience on Rahat.
[00:29:49] Rahat emphasizes the importance of understanding and discussing the realms of sex, pleasure, and intimacy and the significance of culture and belief systems in shaping one's identity.
[00:31:41] Michelle If you are in Canada and you believe you or someone you know is at risk of undergoing FGM, please seek assistance through your local police or child protective services. In addition, if you or the person at risk is a Canadian citizen abroad, please contact the nearest Canadian embassy or consulate. Call 1 613 996 8885.
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We're excited to share a recording of the Sex in Space podcast interview with Andrew Gurza and Heather Morrison, co-founders of Handi. Handi makes sex toys designed by and for disabled people. The mission behind Handi is that everyone should be able to ‘get off’. Listen in to hear about how Handi came to be, the hands on research behind Handi and how the bendable, flexible design of the Bump'n Joystick has revolutionized the accessibility of pleasure for all.
Show Notes:
[00:00:17] Introducing the Sex in Space podcast trio and their mission to create a space for discussing sex across all dimensions. [00:00:46] Interview introduction for Andrew Gurza, a queer, disabled porn star who creates sex toys for people with limited hand movement. [00:01:15] Discussion on consent and disabled people's experiences with touch.
[00:01:46] Transition to Andrew Gurza's interview.
[00:03:12] Lack of recognition of disabled people as sexual beings and the need for education in this area. [00:04:00] Discussion on the struggle for disabled people to achieve sexual pleasure on their own.
[00:04:30] Lack of products specifically designed for disabled people's sexual needs.
[00:05:00] Introduction to Handi, a company creating sex toys for disabled people.
[00:05:34] Andrew and Heather Morrison, co-founders of Handi, discuss their journey and the origin of the company.
[00:06:28] Heather and Andrew's frank conversation that led to the idea of creating sex toys for disabled individuals.
[00:08:00] Handi's name as a playful way to reclaim the term "handicap" and address the needs of people with hand limitations. [00:08:59] The decision to write a book to share experiences and educate about sex and disability.
[00:10:00] Launching Handi as a brand during International Masturbation Month.
[00:10:39] The process of creating the book "Sex and Disability."
[00:11:00] Andrew Gurza's Journey as a Disability Consultant
[00:11:00] Andrew's transition from seeking a traditional job to becoming a freelance disability consultant. [
00:11:23] Andrew's early work as a disability speaker, writing articles on queerness and disability. [00:11:57] The impact of Andrew's photo shoot for a gay magazine on challenging perceptions of disability and sexuality.
[00:13:00] The relevance of disability stories to both disabled and non-disabled individuals.
[00:14:00] Andrew's experience reading the book "Sex and Disability" and the roller coaster of emotions it evokes. [00:15:00] The relatability of the book's stories despite different disabilities.
[00:15:39] The impact of the book on changing perceptions and educating about disability and ableism.
[00:16:00] Discussion on Differences and Similarities:
[00:16:00] The duality of being the same and different when it comes to sexuality.
[00:16:31] The importance of sharing experiences and representation in breaking down societal barriers.
[00:17:13] The bravery and confidence gained through representing disability and sexuality in media.
[00:18:00] Andrew's journey as a freelance disability consultant and speaker.
[00:18:29] The global impact of Andrew's work in challenging perceptions of disability and sexuality.
[00:19:00] Handi's Sex Toy Development Process
[00:19:00] Collaboration with University to validate the need and create concepts.
[00:19:48] Testing concepts with occupational therapists and the disabled community globally.
[00:20:59] Sending 10 prototypes to testers for feedback and collaborative refining of the design.
[00:21:18] Continuation of testing and validation as they move toward the launch.
[00:31:19] Heather and Andrew discuss the huggable nature of their sex toy design, which allows for increased intimacy and positive emotional responses in both disabled and able-bodied individuals. They talk about how it breaks the negative cycle of anxiety for people with hand limitations, preventing worries about fatigue or inability to orgasm.
[00:31:48] They mention that some users found comfort in the huggable nature of the toy, which helped them overcome anxiety and negative thoughts during self-pleasure.
[00:32:22] Heather shares that the design process debunked their assumption about gender preferences in sex toys. They realized that men who thought they didn't like vibration hadn't actually tried it and found that vibration could be a better option for those unable to get an erection.
[00:33:00] They discuss the importance of involving disabled people in the design process and how this approach led to unexpected positive consequences in their design.
[00:36:23] Heather talks about their plans to have a range of different toys and products to cater to various needs in the market. [00:39:00] Andrew explains how their design provides a comforting, emotional experience beyond just sexual pleasure, leading to a deeper understanding of pleasure-based sexuality.
[00:43:41] They discuss other companies in the market working on sex toys for disabled individuals, such as Hot Octopus
[00:45:11] Andrew shares the importance of communication, consent, and sense education for disabled individuals, especially when dealing with doctors, medical professionals, and caregivers.
[00:48:00] They discuss the lack of education around sexuality for disabled teenagers and the need for parents to have open and honest conversations with their children about their bodies and desires.
[00:53:00] They emphasize the significance of communication, especially for disabled individuals who need to navigate intimate conversations about their bodies and needs.
[00:57:13] The interview concludes with thanks and recommendations to check out Handi's website, book, and podcast.
Check them out on social media:
AndrewGurza_ on all social channels:
Websites:
AndrewGurza.com
https://getbumpn.com/ to find the Bump'n Joystick and their Book:The Bump'n Book of Love, Lust & Disability )
Andrew also has award winning podcast of his own, called Disability After Dark that won gold in the Outstanding Adult Series at the Canadian Podcast Awards.
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/episode-242-acknowledging-disability-is-like-opening/id1151890990?i=1000521820212
Make sure to check out Sex in Space on all major podcast platforms. For more information about Sex in Space visit www.sexinspace.com
Reminder to check out our book, available at sexinspace.com/book or simply search for "The Organ Education Forgot" on Amazon.
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Ever wondered how to flirt or wished someone would teach your partner? Michelle dives into the question "How do you flirt?" in today's episode. Flirting is all about personal attraction, confidence, playful gestures, and engaging body language. Michelle reminds us to pay attention to the other person's cues to see if your flirtation is reciprocated. If you are unsure, ask! If you get a green light, go ahead, unleash your inner flirt and potentially make someone's day a little brighter!
Show Notes:
[00:00:31] Michelle compares being asked how to flirt to being asked how to have sex, emphasizing that both are highly individual experiences.
[00:01:12] Flirting is described as an act driven by personal attraction and confidence, without knowing the other person's feelings.
[00:01:41] Eye contact is highlighted as an important aspect of flirting, along with playful touches and engaging body language.
[00:02:49] Michelle acknowledges that the other person may not respond due to disinterest or distractions, and it's essential to be okay with that.
[00:03:11] The importance of respecting boundaries and paying attention to the other person's body language is emphasized.
[00:03:38] Michelle encourages having personal feelings but recognizing that acting on them may not be appropriate in certain situations.
[00:03:51] She invites listeners to reflect on how they would explain flirting to someone who is unsure or believes their partner doesn't know how to flirt.
[00:04:00] Michelle signs off, wishing everyone a great day.
[00:04:07] End of the episode.
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This is a story about how one couple embarks on a journey of rediscovering their sexual chemistry after 15 years, employing mindfulness, cannabis, and flowstate. Listen as host, Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler, interviews Ellevan and Winny Clarke, hosts of the Disciplined Stoners on how covid helped to reopen their door to sexual exploration.
Show Notes:
[00:00:17] Michelle introduces the topic of rediscovering sexual chemistry after 15 years using mindfulness and cannabis.
[00:02:39] Ellevan talks about mindfulness, flow state, and his interests, including being a freestyler, comedian, singer, and cook.
[00:08:26] Winny opens up about her recent transformation, breaking free from old patterns and becoming more confident and curious.
[00:13:14] Michelle explains the concept of mindfulness and sensate focus therapy for deeper connections during sex.
[00:18:14] Ellevan and Winny's journey with mindfulness and its impact on every aspect of their lives, including sex and eating.
[00:22:30] COVID brought them closer and deepened their intimacy, leading to more open discussions about sex and their needs.
[00:27:21] They discuss jealousy in their relationship and how they navigate it through open communication.
[00:31:00] Winny shares her fantasy but also admits that she's not ready to put it into practice.
[00:35:53] The episode ends with a discussion about the importance of embracing mindfulness and breaking societal taboos around sex and body image to create a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life
[00:36:11] This show is produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios.
Winny Clarke is Netherlands born, Canadian raised, and resides in Toronto. She has been passionate about acting from a very young age, always involving herself in school and community theatre. In 2006, she attended The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in Los Angeles, where she studied for two years. Upon the program's completion, she moved to Vancouver, where she took to the stage in plays "Here on the Flight Path", "The Wedding Singer", and "Alice in Wonderland". In 2013, Clarke moved to Toronto with a dream of film and television. Since then, Clarke has appeared in 14 feature films, most notably being "Christmas By Chance" airing on Lifetime and the SuperChannel. Clarke is also a yoga teacher with over ten years of experience in the field, a dedicated meditation practitioner, and an animal lover and advocate. Disciplined Stoners is a space where Winny can explore and question her upbringing, decision making, and life’s purpose
Ellevan is an internationally loved vocalist, producer and entertainer from Toronto, Canada. With over 10,000 hours in the field, Ellevan earned his stripes by setting a world record of recording, producing and shooting 365 songs and music videos, in 365 days in 2018. With the buzz of his world record, he then went on an international freestyle tour throughout Indonesia, Jamaica, and U.S.A, sharing his passion for music abroad. He’s written for and collaborated with platinum status artists, Karl Wolf and Craig Smart. When he’s not in the studio, you can find him on stage for the cannabis friendly series Disciplined Stoners Live, where he, along with a live band, creates songs on the spot via audience interaction and suggestion.
Where to find DIsciplined Stoners:
Disciplined Stoners: https://www.instagram.com/disciplinedstoners
Winny Clarke: https://www.instagram.com/winnyclarke
Ellevan: https://www.instagram.com/ellevanmusic
Sign up for Winny’s Mailing List here: http://eepurl.com/gCIZg1
Follow us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1XDoMv08pT9EfyBaCXNnaj?si=7a557f0e0bf14d4d
Follow and Listen to Ellevan on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0G1sZ8clT2oSvzQ3IL2ZRd?si=vJVw9FLyS6GtF453Ny21kQ
Disclaimer
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Is sex therapy really effective? In this episode, Michelle tackles common questions she gets asked before potential clients decide if sex therapy is the right fit. She emphasizes the importance of finding a good fit and comfort level before diving into therapy. With a solid therapeutic alliance and a willingness to delve deeper into their sexual narrative, sex therapy can truly work wonders.
Show Notes:
[00:00:00] [THEME SONG]
[00:00:33] Michelle introduces the topic and explains the importance of establishing a good fit and comfort level before starting sex therapy.
[00:01:08] She discusses the common questions clients ask, such as the effectiveness of sex therapy and the expected number of sessions.
[00:01:37] Michelle shares her observations from her practice, mentioning that therapy rarely makes things worse and helps clients gain insight.
[00:02:15] She highlights that clients who are patient, committed, and willing to work on their relationship have the most success in therapy.
[00:02:48] The limitations of therapy are discussed, with the reminder that therapy sessions are just a small portion of clients' overall lives.
[00:03:00] Couples have the choice to engage in the work, and hesitation may indicate underlying issues to be addressed.
[00:03:19] The effectiveness of sex therapy is linked to the therapeutic alliance and clients' willingness to explore deeply held concerns.
[00:04:00] The importance of both partners taking responsibility and not blaming each other is emphasized.
[00:04:22] Michelle expresses her strong belief in the effectiveness of sex therapy, attributing it to the therapist-client relationship and clients' openness to doing the work.
[00:04:53] Michelle concludes the episode and signs off.
[00:05:00] End of the episode.
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Today, I had the incredible opportunity to speak with the remarkable Marlee Liss. Marlee is a somatic educator, award-winning speaker, author, restorative justice advocate and lesbian Jewish feminist. Marlee made history in the justice system when her sexual assault case became the 1st in North America to conclude with restorative justice through the courts. Since then, she has coached hundreds of women and non-binary folk in healing shame and transforming trauma. I had the privilege of talking with Marlee about her story, what somatic education is and the positive impact that somatic healing can have for survivors of sexual assault and healing shame. Get ready for a thought-provoking and empowering conversation!
Show Notes
Intro:
[00:00:15] Michelle introduces Marlee Liss, restorative justice advocate, award winning speaker and somatic sex educator
[00:00:39] Marlee explains restorative justice and its focus on repair and healing
[00:01:19] Michelle discusses Marlee's groundbreaking case and its impact on her sense of self.
[00:02:00] Marlee's experience with sexual trauma and questioning her sexuality
[00:02:23] Michelle introduces somatic education and its connection to healing
[00:03:15] Marlee shares the importance feeling connected with one's body for self-care
[00:04:05] The significance of understanding our bodies' needs for healthy relationships
Start of Interview
[00:04:25] Michelle acknowledges Marlee's achievements and discusses restorative justice
[00:05:00] Marlee explains restorative justice as an approach prioritizing repair and healing
[00:06:06] Michelle asks about the somatic lens in relation to restorative justice
[00:07:00] Marlee explores the body's wisdom and the shift from judgment to recognizing function
[00:07:53] Marlee shares her journey as a dancer
[00:08:49] Exploring somatics as a means of processing trauma and healing
[00:10:25] Michelle discusses the challenges survivors face in intimate relationships
[00:11:39] Marlee reflects on her own experience with trauma, sexuality, and self-reflection
[00:12:14] The importance of building a loving relationship with oneself
[00:13:06] Marlee emphasizes the need to process trauma in a safe environment
[00:14:05] Marlee's exploration of her relationship to sexuality and boundaries
[00:15:04] Michelle highlights the societal conditioning and scripts around sexuality
[00:16:18] Marlee emphasizes the importance of relational healing and communication
[00:17:00] Michelle discusses the role of trauma-informed care in sexual relationships
[00:18:23] Marlee shares her journey towards liberation and authentic identity
[00:19:24] The significance of skillful care and trauma-informed interactions
[00:20:08] Michelle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and having uncomfortable conversations
[00:20:54] Marlee: Talks about the discomfort of setting boundaries in the short term and the consequences of not setting boundaries in the long term.
[00:21:20] Michelle: Asks Marlee about the common reasons people seek somatic education.
[00:22:21] Marlee: Discusses the unkind conditions of Western society that are unkind to the body, such as capitalist urgency culture, burnout, vicarious trauma, and pressure to heal quickly.
[00:23:31] Marlee: Mentions the additional challenges of body shame, body image issues, disordered eating, and the impact of a culture of fat phobia and objectification.
[00:24:24] Michelle: Asks Marlee how to approach helping someone with a history of sexual trauma and body discomfort.
[00:24:49] Marlee: Emphasizes the collaborative and non-expert approach of somatic education, encouraging clients to tap into their body wisdom and recognizing the brilliance of the body's natural processes.
[00:25:37] Marlee: Suggests asking guiding questions to bring someone into their body, such as noticing sensations and exploring the wisdom of certain body movements.
[00:26:53] Michelle: Comments on the mindful aspect of the somatic approach and the importance of bringing awareness to the mind-body connection.
[00:28:19] Marlee: Defines dissociation as numbing or checking out, and explains the freeze response as a self-protective mechanism that can be observed in animals as well.
[00:31:14] Marlee: Defines glimmers as cues of safety and discusses their importance in the healing process.
[00:32:31] Marlee: Provides strategies for self-regulation during a trauma response, such as dialoguing with the body, orienting oneself, and using breath and other sensory cues.
[00:36:19] Marlee: Talks about her current projects, including a documentary and speaking engagements on topics like restorative justice, trauma-informed pleasure, and queer sex education.
[00:37:43] Marlee: Shares her contact information, including her Instagram handle, website, and newsletter.
[00:38:58] Marlee: Encourages listeners to reach out
[00:39:22] Michelle: Asks Marlee for a helpful message for someone who has experienced sexual trauma.
[00:40:26] Marlee: Expresses gratitude for the conversation and thanks the listeners.
Where to find Marlee Liss:
Marlee Liss's Website and Instagram
Don’t forget to subscribe to Marlee’s newsletter on her website for free resource guides to restorative justice, queer empowerment, and healing after trauma.
Institute for Somatic Education
This show was produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios
Show ideas or questions? Email [email protected] and follow me on Instagram @getsome_podcast
Disclaimer
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Where were you when you heard that Sue Johanson had died? Did you text someone with the news, or did someone text you? Today's episode is about grief. Host Michelle Fischler, who has openly credited her career as a certified sex therapist to sex educator Sue Johanson, recounts the moment she found out about Sue's passing through a text from her 15-year-old son. Michelle has never met Sue and never will, but the loss of Sue Johanson will leave a lasting impact on Canadians.
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Introduction
GETSOME host Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler introduces the episode and mentions the news of Sue Johanson's passing on June 29th, 2023.Explains the significance of this moment and the personal connection to Sue Johanson's work.[00:00:15] A Fond Farewell to "Sex with Sue"
Reflects on the impact of major events that leave a lasting memory.Recounts receiving a message from the host’s 15-year-old son expressing shock at Sue Johanson's passing.Confirms the news by checking CBC news.Describes the outpouring of messages and comparisons to the loss of a family member.Expresses a deep sense of sadness and personal connection to Sue Johanson's work.[00:02:00] The Magic of Sue Johanson
Acknowledges that Sue Johanson will always be a part of her memories and experiences.Notes the unique presence Sue Johanson had in the host’s mind.Reflects on the realization that they will never have the opportunity to meet Sue Johanson in person.Mentions indirectly connecting with Sue Johanson through an interview with Lisa Rideout, director of the Sex Sue film.Encourages listeners to watch the film for its amazing content.[00:03:02] Sue Johanson's Influence on Sexuality Education
Expresses a mix of sadness and belief that Sue Johanson's impact remains strong.Speculates about the influence of Sue Johanson on Canada's prominence in sex research.Mentions Canadian researchers in the field of sex education who are continuing the work.Recognizes Sue Johanson as a trailblazer who paved the way for current educators.Emphasizes the importance of Sue Johanson's teachings during hosts’ early years.Highlights the positive impact of Sue Johanson's work, resulting in healthier conversations about sex.[00:04:31] Gratitude and Farewell
Expresses gratitude for Sue Johanson's influence and the opportunity to learn from her.Uses the metaphor of "standing on the shoulders of giants" to describe Sue Johanson's legacy.Expresses immense luck and appreciation for having Sue Johanson as a part of their life.Concludes the episode with a heartfelt farewell.[00:05:04] Conclusion
Host signs off, saying goodbye to listeners. - もっと表示する
