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I'm here today with FOCUSED member Matt Ciciarelli who lost his job as a Marketing Director in November of 2023 and has been navigating life for the last year as an unemployed father of 3.
A few months ago Matt decided he needed to do whatever it took to help his family out financially, and he's been digging graves ever since.
Matt shares his experiences from diagnosis to navigating family dynamics, employment challenges, and the impact of COVID-19 on his mental health.
You're going to be so inspired by Matt's resolve and his determination to evolve into the man his wife and children need him to be. I am always impressed by my clients, and Matt is no exception.
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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MY HERO Dr. Tamara Rosier is here to discuss her new book, 'You, Me, and Our ADHD Family.'
The conversation delves into the complexities of relationships within ADHD families, the challenges of rejection sensitivity, and the importance of understanding oneself to foster healthier connections.
Dr. Rosier shares her insights on navigating family dynamics, the significance of cycle-breaking, and the distinction between safe and toxic relationships.
The episode emphasizes the need for emotional regulation and transformational thinking in overcoming the struggles associated with ADHD. In this conversation, Kristen Carder explores the themes of survival versus transformational thinking, the importance of witnessing others' experiences, and the processes of reaching, repairing, and reconnecting within family dynamics, especially in the context of ADHD.
She emphasizes the significance of understanding emotional boundaries and the journey of parenting, highlighting that it's never too late to make amends and grow from past experiences.
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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Self-awareness is one of our deficient executive functioning skills and it can REALLY hold us ADHDers back if we're not careful.
Feel like you make the same mistakes over and over? That's in part because of lack of self-awareness. Feel like you don't know yourself, who you are, and what you want? Yeah, that's because your self-awareness isn't great.
In this episode, my client Joe Corpus is here to discuss his path to self-awareness and the crucial role that acceptance played in the process.
Joe was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but told by his mother that he was "fine" and "didn't need medication." What ensued was decades of feeling disconnected from others, but mostly disconnected from himself.
Joe shares his journey of developing self-awareness and how this can only be done with a hefty dose of self-acceptance. And the pathway? Well, you may not like it (I sure don't!): GRIEF.
We talk about it all...you're going to feel so nurtured by this episode, I just know it.
Joe Corpus is from Houston Texas. He owns a small, full-service gardening company dedicated to the stewardship of a limited number of high-end residential properties. Joe has been a part of FOCUSED for 10 months. He was diagnosed with ADHD approximately two years before the pandemic.Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
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Liz Poggi went from what her doctor labeled as "the worst case of undiagnosed ADHD I've ever seen" to someone who helps people with ADHD achieve to their goals on a daily basis.
Our discussion will address societal skepticism about ADHD and the clarity that a diagnosis brings.
Together, Liz and I explore the role of medication, community support, and structured routines that incorporate mindfulness and movement to boost motivation.
We’ll tackle misconceptions linking ADHD with laziness and address the stigma of feeling unlovable due to past experiences.
You're not going to want to miss this heartfelt episode!
Follow Liz on Instagram - LizPoggi
Liz's Website - LizPoggi.comWatch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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I've got another solo show for you this week and as always you're going to need to strap in for the ride!
First: I'll explain the concept of living in survival mode and help you to work your way out of the dumpster fire that is your ADHD life.
Then, I answer YOUR questions! We discuss how to transition smoothly between tasks and how to advocate for yourself.
Have a question for me? Call 1.833.281.2343
I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE RESOURCE OF THE WEEK - so make sure to tune into that around minute 38:00.
We discuss this research on sunlight helping us sleep better, and lastly, I share what triggered me (hint: my Instagram comments). We end on a spicy note, as usual.
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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I've got a solo show for you today and you know what that means - buckle up because it's a rollercoaster of ADHD madness!
In this episode, I explore how ADHD impacts long-term goal setting due to prioritization issues and working memory deficits. I share personal strategies that have worked for me, such as creating urgency and seeking external motivation. A recent change in Apple’s download metrics inspired me to explore new avenues for my own long-term goals like YouTube and in-person episodes.
Then we answer some of your call-in questions, I share some resources with you, and of course, we wrap it up with what triggered me this week.
If you have ADHD or you think you might, join me for this action-packed show. And if you want my help with your ADHD, join FOCUSED!
Watch this episode on YouTube
Have a question for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
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*Friendly Disclaimer: The views expressed in this podcast are not necessarily those of the host, I Have ADHD podcast, or FOCUSED.
In case you are wondering: I do not agree with all of Dr. Mellilo's takes on ADHD. However, I think he makes some interesting points and brings up aspects of the conversation that I've never heard before. As someone who's had a lot of repetitive conversations about ADHD and ADHD treatment, this was very interesting to me.
My intention during this interview was to ask good questions so that you could hear a different perspective on ADHD and decide for yourself.
Dr. Robert Melillo is a clinician, professor, brain researcher, and best-selling author of the book Disconnected Kids. I think you'll find this conversation fascinating. Dr. Melillo challenges the conventional view of ADHD, presenting it not just as a biochemical imbalance, genetic, or underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, but as a developmental imbalance between the two hemispheres of the brain.
During our conversation, Dr. Melillo breaks down the three subtypes of ADHD—inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, and combined—linking them to different brain regions. We explore how the right hemisphere plays a crucial role in attention, while the left is more associated with hyperactivity and impulsivity.
Our discussion touches on the intricate interplay within brain regions like the basal ganglia and prefrontal cortex, with a nod to the influence of environmental factors and epigenetics. We emphasize the importance of early childhood development and how retained primitive reflexes can impact neurodevelopment. Movement, as Dr. Melillo points out, is vital for brain growth.
As we wrap up, Dr. Melillo highlights the importance of a comprehensive, personalized approach to enhancing brain function in adults with ADHD. By focusing on exercises and sensory activities, we can improve communication between brain hemispheres and address imbalances. This episode is one that might make you go, "HMMMMMM" - and I'm all for that. Enjoy!
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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Psychologist, author, and ADHD expert Dr. Ari Tuckman is here to talk about the unique productivity challenges faced by adults with ADHD.
Dr. Tuckman and I discuss how ADHD-related productivity issues go beyond typical procrastination and time management struggles.
We cover effective management strategies like proper diagnosis, medication, education, coaching, therapy, and foundational self-care practices including sleep, diet, and exercise. Establishing routines and prioritizing tasks can significantly enhance productivity and reduce overwhelm.
This episode is a treasure trove of knowledge for anyone navigating life with ADHD!
Want more from Dr. Ari Tuckman? Check out his website!
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have a questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
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I'm trying out a new solo show style this week, and I hope you love it! I've got a bunch of fun segments for you:
How do I pack for travel as an ADHDer?Should I go to my estranged family's birthday party?How do I easily manage evening time with kids? (LOL)
First, I tell you all about my trip to Oxford University for a conference on Trauma with some of the biggest names in the industry (Gabor Mate, Bessel van der Kolk, Richard Schwartz, etc). Traveling is always a mixed bag for me - exciting and exhausting, and we dive into it all
Next, I share the resource of the week: The Brick
Then I answer listener questions! We cover these 3 topics:We dive into this research study about Adverse Childhood Experiences and ADHD.
And lastly, I go on a spicy rant about how Dr. John Delony says that ADHD is "JUST" the body's response to chaos. Excuse me no. Get outta here with that.
It's a wild ride today, I hope you enjoy!
Watch this episode on YouTube
Want help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!
Have a question for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343
Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTok
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Psychotherapist Whitney Goodman is here today to talk about a crucial topic for many of us: navigating family-of-origin relationships as an adult with ADHD. We dive deep into the challenges and complexities neurodivergent individuals face within their families, especially during significant life transitions.
Whitney and I discussed how poor communication skills can create friction within families, especially when parents are skeptical about ADHD diagnoses. We emphasized the importance of supportive parental responses and self-awareness for strengthening family bonds. Generational differences in emotional health awareness were another focal point, with older generations often suppressing feelings while younger ones advocate for open expression.
The message is hopeful: personal growth can be a pathway to healing relationships.Whitney Goodman - Calling Home
Watch this episode on YouTube
Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram
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This episode is personal for me. Over the past six months, I’ve explored the ADHDer's inner critic intensively, drawing insights from influential books like “Healing the Shame That Binds You,” “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving,” and “Rethinking Adult ADHD.” While the inner critic isn’t a formal symptom of ADHD, it profoundly impacts those of us with the disorder.
In this episode, we start by examining how negative self-talk, often rooted in childhood criticism and toxic relationships, affects adults with ADHD. This inner critic can lead to self-hate and hypervigilance, causing toxic shame and hindering personal growth. I share my own struggles with shame rumination and the challenge of cultivating a positive inner voice, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion.
To combat negative self-talk, I suggest strategies like journaling, verbalizing criticisms, and using thought-stopping techniques. Recognizing and documenting positive aspects of life can foster a healthier self-perception. Additionally, support systems like trauma-informed therapy and specialized coaching programs play a vital role in managing the inner critic and associated shame.
Managing the inner critic is challenging but achievable with the right strategies and support systems. Want my help? Join FOCUSED for an entire course with a step-by-step process on how ADHDers can quiet their inner critic.Here are the 2 studies I mention In the episode:
Peer Functioning in Children with ADHD
Peer victimization in children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity DisorderHang out with me on Instagram
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In this episode we are diving deep into the world of adult ADHD, addressing common misconceptions, and highlighting the unique characteristics that make adult ADHD so distinct.
I break down 10 of the symptoms of ADHD and explain in detail how they show up in your daily life. If you think you might have adult ADHD or you want a refresher on what it means to have ADHD, you're going to love this ep!
Symptoms List
Diagnostic Criteria
Coaching for adults with ADHD
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Meet my sister, Adrienne Himelright. In this episode, we dive deep into our shared experiences with ADHD and the all-too-familiar challenges of people-pleasing. Adrienne opens up about her struggles, including sharing a story where people-pleasing led her to drain her retirement account.
Adrienne coaches people every single day on how to stop people-pleasing and in this episode, she shares a step-by-step process of how ADHDers can STOP people-pleasing. She even has a resource for you on her website Meet my sister, Adrienne Himelright. In this episode, we dive deep into our shared experiences with ADHD and the all-too-familiar challenges of people-pleasing. Adrienne opens up about her struggles, including sharing a story where people-pleasing led her to drain her retirement account.
Adrienne coaches people every single day on how to stop people-pleasing and in this episode, she shares a step-by-step process of how ADHDers can STOP people-pleasing. She even has a resource for you on her website.
Adrienne Himelright Coaching
Find Adrienne on Instagram HERE
Check this episode out on YouTube!
Come hang out with me on Instagram
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Stacy Scott is a feng shui practitioner and decluttering expert who has so much wisdom to share about how our environments impact our self-concept and personal growth. You won’t want to miss this transformative conversation!
We delve into the influence of childhood experiences on adult behaviors related to clutter. Stacy shares insights on how chaos and even trauma from our early years can shape our relationship with our living spaces. She also touches on the pitfalls of striving for minimalism, cautioning that it can sometimes lead to neglecting our self-worth.
The conversation takes a critical look at societal pressures, particularly on women and mothers, to maintain perfect homes. Instead of unrealistic expectations, Stacy advocates for support and understanding.
For those of us with ADHD, maintaining morning routines and managing clutter can be incredibly challenging. Stacy offers practical advice and emphasizes the importance of addressing the shame and overwhelm that often accompany these struggles. We also critique the rigid norms of minimalism and cleanliness that society imposes on us.
The takeaway? You're allowed to be messy!
You can find Stacy Scott on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube!
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Join me in welcoming my friend and colleague, Paula Engebretson! In this episode, we dive into productivity strategies, managing emails, and how tools like ChatGPT can make a difference in our daily lives. Paula’s focus on productivity and my passion for personal growth blend perfectly in this engaging and insightful conversation.
Podcast episode link: Episode 255: An ADHD ChatGPT GuideWorkbook: https://imbusybeingawesome.com/chatInstagram: ImbusybeingawesomeTikTok: Imbusybeingawesome
One of the highlights of our conversation is the practical advice Paula provides on email management. She breaks down different types of emails and offers strategies to keep your inbox clutter-free. From thought downloads to responding to emails from the bottom up, Paula’s tips are game-changers. We also touch on the emotional complexities tied to unsubscribing and how grounding processes can help manage feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.
We dive into additional strategies for managing deadlines and tasks, emphasizing the importance of setting realistic timelines and using techniques like “body doubling” for productivity. Paula introduces ChatGPT as a valuable tool for individuals with ADHD, aiding in communication, planning, and time management. I share how ChatGPT has enhanced my professional communication, helping me draft emails and create show notes from podcast transcripts. It’s like having a supportive friend that aids in idea iteration and communication improvement.
This episode is packed with resources for managing prioritization and productivity, including Paula’s own “I’m Busy Being Awesome” podcast and various coaching options. Whether you’re looking to improve your email management, understand your ADHD strengths, or find new tools to boost productivity, this episode has something for everyone.
Come hang out with me on Instagram and TikTok!
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I’m thrilled to share a deeply insightful conversation with my mentor, Africa Brooke. Africa’s latest book, “The Third Perspective,” dives into the complex realms of self-sabotage and censorship, and in our discussion, we unpack the significance of moving beyond binary thinking in today’s society.
In this episode, Africa and I explore the evolutionary roots of societal pressures to conform and the vital importance of brave expression and embracing nuance, especially amidst the increasing intolerance we see around us.
We delve into the personal challenges that come with non-conformity, particularly for those of us with ADHD or from dysfunctional backgrounds. Africa sheds light on the internal conflict between being authentic and staying safe, emphasizing how self-censorship in relationships often leads to deep dissatisfaction.
One of the standout moments in our conversation is Africa’s reflection on her open letter, “Why I’m Leaving the Cult of Wokeness,” which she penned during the pandemic. This letter critiques the intense societal pressures surrounding racial justice and public health debates, touching on the painful conflict between staying true to oneself and feeling like a traitor to others. We also tackle the implications of cancel culture and the paramount importance of authenticity over conformity.
Africa and I discuss the intricacies of identity, activism, and the unique pressures faced by women online, particularly the phenomenon of “context collapse.” This is where our curated online personas can lead to misunderstandings. We advocate for acknowledging personal contradictions and fostering curiosity and awareness, especially for neurodivergent individuals who may struggle with black-and-white thinking.
I hope you found this episode as enlightening and empowering as I did. Africa's insights are a powerful reminder of the importance of authenticity, bravery, and nuance in our lives.
Why I'm Leaving the Cult of Wokeness
The Third Perspective
More about Africa Brooke
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I'm celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary with my husband Greg by having him on the podcast today! We’ll be diving into the ups and downs of our relationship, how we’ve navigated the challenges brought on by the early pandemic, and how we’ve grown individually and together over the past two decades. So, grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and join us for an intimate conversation about love, life, and ADHD.
We’ve both learned so much about compassion, communication, and the importance of accepting each other’s flaws. We’ve grown a lot in managing conflicts and emotional regulation, and today, we’re sharing some insights from a recent disagreement that actually showcased our improved conflict management skills.
As parents of neurodivergent children, we’ve had to shift our expectations and communication strategies. Instead of trying to force habits, we’ve learned to accept our children’s inherent traits, which has made a world of difference in our family dynamics.
Greg and I also want to offer some advice for maintaining a successful marriage, especially when ADHD is part of the equation. We can’t stress enough the importance of grace, mercy, apologizing, compromising, and making time for connection. Long-term partnerships are complex, but with proactive communication, mindfulness, and understanding each other’s emotional experiences, they can also be incredibly rewarding.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE
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Dyslexia expert Natalie Brooks joins me today to dive deep into the interplay between ADHD and dyslexia, exploring the importance of recognizing multiple neurodiversities.
Natalie shares her personal experiences with dyslexia and sheds light on its overlap with ADHD. Get ready for an enlightening conversation that uncovers the challenges and triumphs of living with multiple neurodivergencies.
Natalie critiques common misconceptions about dyslexia, particularly the notion that dyslexic individuals are overly verbose yet struggle with clarity and editing. She contrasts her supportive educational journey, aided by a dedicated dyslexic unit, with her parents’ negative experiences due to undiagnosed conditions.
Obtaining a dyslexia diagnosis as an adult is another crucial topic we touch upon, acknowledging the financial and personal challenges it entails. Natalie emphasizes that while a formal diagnosis can provide exam accommodations, self-identification is often accepted in workplaces. She shares her own journey towards an ADHD diagnosis, highlighting the validation received from knowledgeable friends and the varying needs for recognition among individuals based on their past experiences.
As we wrap up this insightful episode, Natalie and I emphasize the importance of confidence building and healing within supportive communities. We encourage you to connect with others facing similar struggles to foster self-acceptance and personal growth.
Dyslexia In Adults
Instagram - dyslexia_in_adults
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Andrea Ashley is the host of the Adult Child podcast. She's blazing the trail in recovering from addiction and Complex PTSD. Andrea and I dive into a heartfelt conversation about the intricate web of ADHD, trauma, dysfunctional families, and Complex PTSD. Andrea shares her powerful personal journey, from growing up in a dysfunctional family to her profound realizations about trauma and healing.
Reflecting on her past, Andrea discusses her mother’s alcoholism and how she was unfairly scapegoated within her family. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing deeper family issues and seeking help, explaining how accumulated experiences contribute to trauma, rather than just major events.
We delve into the concept of Complex PTSD, childhood shaping beliefs, and the impact of emotional neglect on self-development. Andrea’s healing journey is a central theme, highlighting inner child work, coping mechanisms, and the launch of her own podcast. She talks about dealing with abandonment wounds, self-care, and the challenges and growth involved in the healing process.
We also touch on Andrea’s struggles with phone addiction, attention span issues, and her ADHD diagnosis. She explains how social media and intense content preferences have impacted her addiction and shares her efforts to reduce shame by being open about her story. Andrea underscores the importance of community healing through support groups for childhood trauma and neurodivergence.
I hope you find today’s conversation with Andrea Ashley as enlightening and inspiring as I did. Her journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. If you’re dealing with similar issues, know that you’re not alone and that seeking help can make all the difference. Don’t forget to check out Andrea’s podcast her community, The Shitshow.Are You An Adult Child?
Laundry List of Adult Child Behaviors
Toxic Family Test
Adult Child Podcast
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For the longest time, I denied having any trauma, but through therapy and a ton of research, I’ve come to realize its significant impact on my life and my ADHD.
In today's episode, I discuss what trauma is and provide definitions and resources, especially focusing on Complex PTSD and its links to ADHD. One of the key takeaways is understanding how our experiences and the way we handle them can shape our mental health. For example, proper support and validation can prevent traumatic outcomes, as highlighted by trauma expert Peter Levine.
I also delve into various types of trauma and the importance of creating safe environments. This is particularly crucial for neurodivergent individuals like us, as unhealed emotional wounds can have profound effects on how we show up in the world. I even share a personal story about my son to illustrate how validation, support, and protection can prevent lasting trauma.
A significant part of our conversation revolves around the ongoing debate about whether ADHD is caused by trauma or genetics. While unaddressed trauma can mimic ADHD symptoms, it’s crucial to differentiate and understand both. We explore Complex PTSD and how emotional flashbacks can resemble the ADHD trait of emotional dysregulation. I also talk about the trauma responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and share my personal experiences, including how I’ve often suppressed my true self for safety.
Finally, I recommend some fantastic resources such as books by Dr. Bruce Perry and Pete Walker, and even suggest trauma assessments. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of seeking therapy with a trauma-informed therapist. Addressing our past wounds is essential for personal growth and overall well-being. This episode is a deep dive into a subject that’s both personal and universal. Thank you for joining me in this exploration. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and support systems available to help you through this.
What Happened to You
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Free with a Spotify Subscription
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Questionnaire
Multidimensional ADHD Symptom Profiles
Toxic Family Test
Check out this Episode on YouTube!
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