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Fresh or frozen? It sounds like a logistics question. It's not.
Richard gets asked this constantly, and the answer almost always depends on something the clinic never asked first: what do you actually want your family to look like?
In this episode Richard and Julio work through one of the most misunderstood decisions in an IVF or surrogacy journey. Why frozen embryos became the clinical default. What the attrition math actually looks like from egg to euploid embryo. Why egg freezing is not the insurance policy most people think it is. What a good clinic asks you before it tells you anything. And what it means when it doesn't.
Richard has helped over 500 families navigate fertility journeys. For him it's statistics. For you it's binary. This episode is the gap between those two things, made legible.
Not medical advice. Richard says that himself.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Why this question came up this morning02:51 What actually happens when you freeze an egg05:49 Why frozen embryos became the default08:42 Two sperm sources, two kids: what the math looks like11:32 What egg banks are and how a "lot of eight" works14:24 The red flag your clinic might be showing you right now17:16 Why egg freezing is not a guarantee, even in your twenties20:10 You are binary. I'm a statistic.
KEYWORDS
IVF fresh vs frozen, donor eggs frozen embryos, egg freezing success rate, embryo banking explained, PGTA testing embryos, IVF surrogacy logistics, two dads IVF, LGBTQ family building, egg donor cycle, euploid embryo, vitrification IVF, IVF clinic red flags, intended parents guide, fresh donor egg cycle, frozen egg bank
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Before you sit down with your doctor and they start talking about genetic testing, there is a conversation that should happen first. Richard has it with hundreds of patients every year. This is that conversation.
Richard Westoby works with intended parents every day before they see their doctor. Pre-implantation genetic testing is one of the first things that comes up and also one of the things people feel least prepared for when the appointment actually happens.
In this episode Julio and Richard walk through what PGT actually is, the different types, what each one looks for, what it costs, and how to think about whether it makes sense for your journey. Including why Richard did not do it himself when he had his kids, why nothing is ever one hundred percent even after testing, and what the new generation of polygenic testing means for families making these decisions today.
This is not medical advice. This is the conversation that helps you walk into the medical advice ready.
IVF, PGT, pre-implantation genetic testing, embryo testing, surrogacy, gay dads, intended parents, egg donation, fertility, IVF costs, embryo screening, sex selection, genetic testing IVF, surrogacy journey, LGBTQ family, IVF explained, fertility podcast, gay parents, family building, IVF add-ons
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to PGTs
02:27 Understanding PGT Types
05:37 The Role of PGT in IVF
09:05 Ethical Considerations of Gender Selection
11:42 Exploring PGT-M and PGT-SR
16:01 The Future of PGT: PGTP
22:54 The Emotional Impact of PGT Testing
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SPOTIFY DESCRIPTION
You've done the research. You've read the blogs. But there's a specific moment in the IVF journey that almost every gay man gets blindsided by and it's not the one you think.
Dr. Michael Gornaccia of New England Fertility Institute has spent over 30 years helping LGBTQ families build through surrogacy, egg donation, and IVF. In this episode, he walks through the real timeline, the part of the process that costs the most time, what the 2am anxiety is actually about, and why one in-person visit to Connecticut might be the only thing standing between you and your embryos.
If you're building your family from abroad, EU, UK, Asia, this one's for you.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction: who is Dr. G?01:03 The first thing your doctor needs to know before anything else03:18 HIV-positive fathers: the Beacon Institute process explained06:25 The male screening visit: what happens and why you cannot skip it09:29 Egg donation: clinic bank vs. private agency, real difference in timing13:01 When both partners want to use their genetics17:21 Second cycles: not uncommon, not the end20:25 The 2am anxiety moment everyone experiences and nobody warns you about22:18 What surprises patients most and why internet stats will gaslight you26:18 LGBTQ families vs. heterosexual couples: the grief nobody talks about30:06 HIV-positive dads: what to know if you are scared to ask31:04 Adoption as a valid path: patient autonomy in practice31:50 Final advice: the one thing to do when you are up at midnight
New England Fertility Institute: https://www.nefertility.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nefertility/Men Having Babies: menhavingbabies.orgBeacon Institute (HIV sperm processing)
"The biggest time factor in this whole journey isn't the medical process. It's finding a surrogate." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"A lot of LGBTQ patients tell me: I never thought when I was growing up that I'd be able to have a family. That grief is real, even when everything is going well." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"The two-and-a-half week wait while we test the embryos. That's when everyone panics. Every single patient. And it's completely normal." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"In IVF, women go through hormones and medication. Men go through paperwork and waiting." Julio, IVF Daddies
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Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Parenthood Journey
01:16 The Emotional Growth of Becoming a Parent
03:21 Experiences as an Au Pair and Changing Perspectives
05:02 Support Systems in Same-Sex Parenting
09:31 Balancing Organization and Creativity in Parenting
13:38 Trusting Professionals in the Surrogacy Process
16:34 The Role of the Surrogate and Building Relationships
20:34 Navigating the Surrogacy Process
23:19 Patience and Emotional Challenges in Surrogacy
25:44 Public Life and Private Struggles
28:20 Positivity in the Face of Adversity
30:46 Education Through Visibility and Love
32:57 Conclusion and Hope for Future Parents
Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.
One of Germany's biggest drag queens, a graphic designer, a YouTuber, and now a parent through surrogacy in the US, Candy joins Julio and Richard for one of the most honest conversations this podcast has ever had about what the surrogacy journey actually feels like from the inside.
Not the process. The feeling. The waiting. The grief of finding out one embryo took instead of two. The surrogate who was shy on the first call and offered to carry again before the baby was even born. The moment you realize the most important project of your life depends entirely on trusting people you have never met.
Candy also talks about going public on social media as a queer parent, why she fights hate with education instead of anger, and the messages she gets from strangers who watched her journey and quietly changed their minds.
If you have ever wondered whether a family like this is possible for someone like you, this episode is the answer.
Guest: Candy Crash, drag queen, content creator, Hollywood Mom podcast host, and new dad.Instagram: @thecandycrashPodcast: Hollywood Mom on Spotify
Keywords: surrogacy, gay dads, queer parenting, LGBTQ family, surrogacy journey, drag queen, intended parents, IVF, trust, visibility, queer family, same sex parents, surrogacy process, gay surrogacy, becoming a dad
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Most people start this journey knowing the cost. Nobody warns them about everything else.
Katy Encalade has been a surrogate herself. Now she runs one of the most respected egg donation and surrogacy agencies in the US. This conversation is the one most intended parents wish they had before they started.
What you will actually hear in this episode:
Why two years is the real timeline and why anyone who tells you less is setting you up to fail.
Why an agency that says they have plenty of surrogates available should make you stop and ask harder questions.
Why obsessing over genetics in your egg donor search might mean you are missing the question that actually determines your outcome.
Why the match matters more than the speed. Every time.
Why the families who struggle most are the ones who were told what they wanted to hear.
This is not a hope conversation. This is a preparation conversation.
If you are at the beginning of this journey or stuck somewhere in the middle, this episode gives you language for what you are actually going through.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
02:58 Understanding the Egg Donation Process
05:38 Navigating the Surrogacy Journey
08:33 The Importance of Patience
11:29 Matching with Egg Donors and Surrogates
14:15 Financial Aspects of Surrogacy
16:50 Red Flags and Green Flags in Agencies
19:21 Feeling Alone in the Journey
22:01 Simplifying the Process
CONNECT WITH KATY ENCALADE
Website: https://createahappyfamily.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createahappyfamily
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/katyencalade
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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The legal ground under surrogacy is shifting. For once it is shifting in your favor.
If you are LGBTQ+ and you have been quietly terrified about what this administration means for your family, this is the episode that answers it directly. No vague reassurances. No spin. Just a fertility attorney with 15 years in reproductive law telling you exactly where you stand.
What this episode covers:
Michigan just passed surrogacy legislation. Here is what it actually does.
Why a court ordered judgment protects your parental rights in ways a birth record cannot.
Why California is about to raise the standard for every other state.
Can you get a California court order and use it in Arizona. The answer will surprise you.
Once you have a judgment, nobody can take it away. Here is the constitutional reason why.
Why LGBTQ+ parents specifically need a judgment not just a birth record.
Whether the federal government can roll back your parental rights. Brian explains why the answer is no.
This is the episode you forward to the person who just asked you: is this still safe to do?
The answer is yes. After this episode you will know exactly why.
CHAPTERS
00:00 The Headlines Are Wrong: The Positive Legal Changes Nobody Is Talking About
02:08 Michigan Just Changed Everything: What the New Law Actually Does
02:59 Meet Brian: 15 Years in Fertility Law
04:36 Can You Get a California Court Order and Use It in Arizona
06:04 Why LGBTQ+ Parents Need a Judgment Not Just a Birth Record
07:02 Will the Federal Government Roll Back Your Parental Rights
07:51 Once You Have a Judgment Nobody Can Take It Away
08:12 The Constitutional Principle That Protects You Across State Lines
09:30 Is the Surrogate Ever on the Birth Certificate
10:37 What California Collects and Why It Never Appears on Your Child's Record
11:55 Michigan Birth Certificates: What Comes Next
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Your embryo grade is not what you think it is.
Embryologist Emanuela Molinari has spent her career inside the lab watching families make critical decisions based on information they do not fully understand. This episode fixes that.
What you will actually learn:
Why two clinics can look at the same embryo and give you completely different grades.
Why a perfect grade does not guarantee a pregnancy and a low grade does not mean failure.
Why sperm is half of this equation and why almost nobody is testing it properly.
What DNA fragmentation is, why it matters, and when to test for it.
Why some clinics still transfer on day 3 and what that decision is really based on.
What blastocyst development actually tells you versus what clinics imply it tells you.
What PGT genetic testing is genuinely useful for and what it cannot do.
How age affects chromosome errors in ways that grading will never show you.
If you are going through IVF, just starting, or trying to understand results that don't make sense, this episode gives you the questions your clinic is not asking you to ask.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Why embryo grading confuses people
02:30 What you are actually seeing in an embryo
05:30 Why grading is subjective
09:00 The role of sperm in IVF
13:00 DNA fragmentation explained
17:00 What blastocyst development really means
21:00 Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer
25:00 Genetic testing without the hype
30:00 Age and embryo viability
35:00 What patients should actually focus on
CONNECT WITH EMANUELA MOLINARI
Website: https://eggstraordinaryembryo.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eggstraordinary_embryo
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Everyone talks about the embryos. Nobody talks about what happens to the relationship.
IVF puts a number on your family. Success rates. Grades. Transfer windows. And somewhere inside all of that data, the relationship that started this entire journey is quietly breaking under the pressure nobody warned you about.
Julio and Richard go there in this episode. Fully.
What this episode covers:
Why IVF clinics are excellent at the medical side and almost useless on the emotional side.
Why frozen embryos create a decision that no couple is ever prepared to make together.
Why the moment you realize biology is not cooperating with the life you planned is one of the loneliest moments a person can experience.
Why younger LGBTQ couples are becoming parents earlier while straight couples are starting later and what that tension reveals about modern family building.
Why having a baby does not fix a relationship. And why IVF pressure can expose everything that was already fragile.
When to keep trying. When to change the plan. And how you know the difference.
This is not the glossy brochure version of IVF.
This is what it actually does to the people going through it.
TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE
IVF success rates and embryo reality
Surrogacy and donor egg decisions
LGBTQ family building
The emotional impact of IVF on relationships
Why IVF clinics rarely address relationship psychology
Older parents versus younger parents
The grief of the family you imagined
Why having a baby does not fix a relationship
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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He spent years reporting on how families are built around the world. Then he had to build his own.
Pedro Andrade is a journalist and television host who has documented cultures across six continents. But nothing prepared him for the system of decisions, patience, and uncertainty that is IVF and surrogacy.
In this episode Pedro tells the full story. Finding an egg donor. Matching with a surrogate. Signing contracts he did not fully understand at first. Facing the moments where everything could fall apart. And what it actually felt like to hold his daughter Isabel for the first time after years of trying.
What this episode covers:
Why parenthood through surrogacy is not a moment. It is a system you have to survive first.
The emotional paradox nobody warns you about: overwhelming love arriving simultaneously with exhaustion, fear, and the weight of total responsibility.
Why age changes how you experience becoming a parent and why that is not a weakness.
What Pedro's documentary series Somewhat Familiar on Max revealed about how many ways there are to define a family across cultures.
Why the definition of family is shifting faster than any institution is ready for.
The one thing Pedro says every prospective parent needs to hear before they start.
Parents are the people who show up.
If you are navigating IVF, surrogacy, or simply trying to understand what modern family building actually costs emotionally, not just financially, this conversation will stay with you.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to Parenthood and Identity
05:37 The Emotional Toll of Surrogacy
11:00 The Role of Age in Parenting
16:24 The Impact of Surrogacy on Family Dynamics
21:50 Empowering Women and Challenging Norms
27:16 Advice for Prospective Parents
PEDRO ANDRADE
Documentary series Somewhat Familiar streaming now on Max / HBO Max.
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Surrogacy is not just a medical process. It is infrastructure. And right now that infrastructure is being rebuilt whether the industry is ready or not.
IVF Daddies investigates what has actually shifted in the surrogacy landscape over the past year, what it means for intended parents, and why the families who start informed are the ones who finish protected.
This is not a promotional conversation. It is an industry level discussion with the founders of Families Out Loud about what is really happening beneath the surface of modern family building.
What this episode covers:
Why safe spaces in surrogacy are not a luxury. They are a risk reduction tool.
Why same sex and heterosexual journeys start differently but merge in the same broken process.
What actually builds trust between intended parents and providers and why most agencies are getting it wrong.
What happens to the community when an agency collapses. And why it keeps happening.
Why education shortens consultation cycles and reduces the decisions people regret.
The rise of AI in assisted reproductive technology and what it means for intended parents right now.
The starting point determines everything.
If you are exploring IVF, egg donation, gestational surrogacy, or trying to understand why this industry feels so opaque, this episode gives you the structural clarity nobody else is offering.
CHAPTERS
00:00 One Year Later: What Changed in Surrogacy
02:48 From Niche Community to Cross Family Infrastructure
05:29 What a Safe Space in Surrogacy Actually Means
08:28 Trust, Vulnerability and Emotional Risk
11:03 Different Starting Points, Same IVF Process
14:03 Educating Families and Reducing Stigma
16:46 The Role of Providers and Ethical Collaboration
19:43 When an Agency Fails: How the Industry Responds
22:29 Nonprofit Structure and Education Strategy
24:22 The Rise of AI in Assisted Reproduction
28:40 Why Education Protects Intended Parents
31:18 Building Sustainable Family Building Infrastructure
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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One man helped move gay fatherhood from legal impossibility to corporate insurance policy. This is the conversation about what that actually cost and who controls the infrastructure now.
Ron Poole-Dayan founded Men Having Babies. Over two decades he helped reshape how governments, corporations, and insurance companies think about surrogacy, infertility, and LGBTQ+ family building. He did not do it by asking nicely.
This is not a feel-good conversation. It is a systems level discussion about power, money, ethics, and the uncomfortable truth that every non-profit operating near medicine, law, and vulnerable people eventually becomes a gatekeeper.
What this episode covers:
How redefining infertility as a social status changed insurance law in ways litigation never could.
Why workplace benefits became more powerful than courtrooms for advancing LGBTQ+ parenting rights.
Why ethical standards in surrogacy create both protection and exclusion simultaneously and why that tension is not going away.
What it actually costs to change a system at scale and who pays that price.
Why the goal of real advocacy is to make itself unnecessary and why Men Having Babies is not there yet.
What is coming in Europe as surrogacy regulation intensifies and why Brussels is the next battleground.
When a non-profit succeeds so completely it stops being charity and becomes infrastructure. What happens then.
Every mature movement eventually faces scrutiny not for failing but for succeeding.
If you want LGBTQ+ parenting to be boring, protected, and normal, this is the price of that.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Why Men Having Babies Exists
02:48 Financial Assistance and Industry Proximity
05:41 Advocacy, Law, and Institutional Power
08:22 Redefining Infertility: Medical vs Social Status
10:48 Workplace Benefits and Corporate Policy
13:35 Cultural Blind Spots Around Male Parenthood
16:18 How Surrogacy Evolved and Why It's Contested
19:01 When Advocacy Becomes Infrastructure
CONNECT WITH RON POOLE-DAYAN
Men Having Babies: https://menhavingbabies.org
Financial Assistance Program: https://menhavingbabies.org/gpap
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Kim Kardashian froze her eggs on camera. Janet Jackson had a baby at 50. The message millions of women absorbed: you have time.
The message reproductive doctors are exhausted from correcting: you do not.
Dr. Brooke Freeman is a reproductive endocrinologist. She spends her days cleaning up the damage left behind by oversimplified celebrity fertility narratives, reassuring doctors who meant well, and a culture that decided hope was more important than honesty.
This episode is the conversation she wishes every woman had before it was too late.
What Dr. Freeman reveals:
Why AMH measures how many eggs you have. Not how good they are. And why that difference destroys timelines.
Why "it only takes one" is technically true and practically one of the most dangerous things a doctor can say.
Why celebrities who conceive in their 40s and 50s are almost never telling you the full story about donor eggs.
Why being told "your numbers look good" in your late 30s can create a false sense of security that closes doors permanently.
Why egg freezing is a tool. Not a guarantee. Not an insurance policy. A tool.
Why age still matters biologically no matter what your test results say.
Why false reassurance feels kind in the moment and cruel five years later.
The Kardashians made fertility content. Hollywood made fertility look easy. And somewhere between the cameras and the clinics, the truth got lost.
This episode brings it back.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Understanding Egg Freezing and Fertility
02:38 The Reality of IVF and Age Factors
05:51 The Importance of Accurate Medical Advice
08:29 Empowering Women in Fertility Choices
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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No rulebook. No legal framework. No guarantees. Just two people who refused to stop.
This episode is not a success story with a tidy ending. It is what actually happens when the system was not built for your family and you have to find a way through it anyway.
They tried to become parents in the Netherlands. A country where the legal grey zones around surrogacy and family building are not edge cases. They are the daily reality for anyone who does not fit the template the law imagined when it was written.
What happened inside that journey:
The first plan failed. Then the second. Then grief arrived in a form they did not recognise at first because nobody had told them what grief looks like when it is not attached to a death but to a door that keeps closing.
The emotional toll of repeated setbacks in a system that offers no roadmap and no apology.
What it feels like to keep choosing each other when there are no guarantees medically, legally, or emotionally.
The moment everything changed. What it looked like. What it cost to get there.
How you talk about all of it as a family once you are on the other side.
This is the episode for anyone who has ever sat in a waiting room, or a lawyer's office, or a hospital corridor, wondering if the life they imagined is still possible.
It is. But nobody tells you what it actually takes to get there.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Why We Wanted a Family
02:20 When the First Plan Didn't Work
05:22 Trying Different Paths
07:45 Emotional Highs and Lows
10:13 Finding Support
12:49 Moments of Hope
15:17 Facing Setbacks
17:11 Processing Loss
18:59 Choosing to Continue
21:32 Trust and Connection
23:48 Sharing Our Story
25:50 Navigating Complex Rules
27:34 Waiting and Uncertainty
30:48 The Day Everything Changed
34:06 Talking About It as a Family
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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When politicians control reproductive healthcare, families pay the price. A public health doctor who has spent his career on the frontlines is done staying quiet about it.
Dr. Demetre Daskalakis has worked inside some of the most politically pressured healthcare systems in America. He has watched IVF access erode. He has watched surrogacy get weaponized in policy debates by people who have never sat with a family trying to build one. He has watched misinformation spread faster than medicine can correct it.
This conversation is the one the healthcare system does not want you to hear.
What this episode covers:
Why IVF and surrogacy are not niche medical topics. They are public health infrastructure. And when that infrastructure fails, it does not fail quietly.
How political pressure on clinicians is creating an ethical crisis inside reproductive medicine right now.
Why LGBTQ+ families are the first to lose access when reproductive healthcare systems come under attack and rarely the last.
How medical misinformation about IVF and surrogacy spreads, who benefits from it, and why doctors are increasingly afraid to correct it publicly.
Why the burden being placed on individual clinicians is unsustainable and what happens to patients when doctors burn out trying to fight it.
What community-based public health models actually do that hospital systems cannot and why that difference is saving families right now.
Why reproductive healthcare failing individually means public health failing collectively. Every time.
This is not a political opinion piece.
It is a public health emergency dressed as a policy debate.
And the families sitting in fertility waiting rooms across America are the ones living inside it.
CHAPTERS
00:00 The Current State of Public Health
03:02 Science, Misinformation, and Public Trust
05:30 Ethical Courage in Medicine
08:23 The Growing Burden on Clinicians
11:20 Family Creation as a Public Health Concern
13:54 How Public Health Systems Regressed
16:47 Community-Based Care as a Solution
19:35 Lessons from Recent Public Health Crises
22:21 Building a More Resilient Healthcare Future
IVF costs and access: https://ivfdaddies.com/costs
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Ryan Murphy made a TV show about divorce, power, and reproductive rights. And accidentally created the most important IVF conversation mainstream America has had in years.
Kim Kardashian froze her eggs on camera. Now she is starring in a show where embryo custody becomes a weapon in a divorce. Ryan Murphy is a dad via surrogacy himself. And ALL'S FAIR just made millions of people confront something fertility clinics have been quietly avoiding for decades.
What actually happens to your embryos when a relationship ends.
Dr. Brooke Freeman and Richard Westoby go beyond the drama and into the reality.
What this episode covers:
What actually happens legally and emotionally when frozen embryos become disputed property in a divorce.
Why consent in IVF is not a formality buried in paperwork. It is the entire foundation of reproductive autonomy. And most people sign it without understanding what they agreed to.
Why the finality of certain embryo decisions is something no clinic prepares you for emotionally.
What fertility preservation actually means when your relationship status changes unexpectedly.
Why reality TV keeps touching this topic without ever explaining the part that actually matters.
Why Ryan Murphy making this show matters more than people realize and what it signals about where the cultural conversation around IVF is heading.
Hollywood opened the door.
This episode walks through it.
If you care about reproductive freedom, what you actually own when you create embryos, or why IVF consent forms deserve more than a five-minute clinic walkthrough, this conversation will change how you watch reality TV and how you approach your next fertility appointment.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to IVF and Reality TV
02:39 Understanding Consent in Embryo Transfer
05:31 The Reality of Embryo Transfer Procedures
08:19 Personal Experiences with Embryo Custody
11:22 Fertility Preservation and Its Complexities
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Something shifted. And if you were paying attention at BravoCon, you felt it.
The storylines dominating reality TV right now are not just entertainment. They are the most powerful visibility machine the LGBTQ+ community has ever had access to. And the people inside that machine are starting to understand what they are actually doing.
This episode is a conversation about that moment. The one where culture stops debating whether queer families are valid and starts simply showing them living their lives on primetime television watched by millions.
Anthony Ramos from GLAAD joins IVF Daddies to unpack what is actually happening at the intersection of celebrity culture, reality TV, and LGBTQ+ family building.
What this episode covers:
Why BravoCon 2025 was not just a fan event. It was a visibility inflection point for queer families in mainstream media.
Why reality TV is doing more for LGBTQ+ family normalization right now than legislation, litigation, or advocacy campaigns combined.
Why familiarity changes hearts in ways that arguments never can and why Bravo figured this out before anyone else.
Why the portrayal of queer families on screen is evolving faster than the institutions designed to protect them.
What authentic allyship actually looks like versus performative allyship and why the audience can tell the difference immediately.
Why celebrity influence on LGBTQ+ public perception is more powerful in 2025 than it has ever been and what that means for families navigating IVF and surrogacy right now.
What comes next for LGBTQ+ representation in media and why the momentum building in LA, New York, and Las Vegas is not slowing down.
The culture did not shift because the law changed.
The culture shifted because people finally saw themselves in the story.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to Queer Representation in Media
02:43 The Impact of BravoCon on LGBTQ+ Visibility
05:29 Reality TV vs Traditional Media: A New Era of Representation
08:21 The Role of Reality TV in Shaping Family Narratives
11:14 Allyship and Authenticity in the LGBTQ+ Community
14:01 Challenges and Triumphs in LGBTQ+ Representation
16:45 Looking Ahead: Future of LGBTQ+ Families in Media
19:24 Reflections on Allyship and Community Support
22:17 Celebrity Influence and Personal Connections
25:08 Closing Thoughts and Future Aspirations
CONNECT
Anthony Ramos: https://www.instagram.com/anthonyramosah
GLAAD: https://glaad.org
IVF Daddies: https://www.instagram.com/ivfdaddies
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Every intended parent knows the feeling. Your phone rings. Your heart stops. And in the seconds before you answer, you are already a different person than you were before.
This episode is about that moment. And every moment before and after it that the brochures, the consultations, and the success rate statistics never mention.
IVF Daddies and DADS.KIDS.MIRACLES share the unfiltered emotional reality of surrogacy. Not the polished version. The real one. The waiting. The fear. The updates that arrive at 2am. The premature birth nobody planned for. The love that rewires you permanently.
What this episode covers:
The exact moment intended parents realize this journey has changed them in ways that cannot be undone.
What the emotional rollercoaster of surrogacy actually feels like from the inside when you have no control over the most important thing in your life.
How you navigate fear and hope simultaneously when medical uncertainty becomes your daily reality.
What a premature birth does to intended parents who are already operating at the edge of everything they have.
Why letting go of control is not a mindset shift. It is a survival skill you learn the hard way.
How surrogacy reshapes your identity before the baby even arrives.
Why the bond between intended parents and surrogates is one of the most profound human connections most people will never understand from the outside.
You can decide what you do. Parenthood decides who you become.
If you are considering surrogacy, already inside a journey, or supporting someone who is, this episode will feel like someone finally said out loud the thing you have been carrying alone.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to Family Life and Surrogacy
00:12 The Journey of Premature Birth
01:00 Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Your attention is not free. Every complaint, every spiral, every moment you spend feeding the wrong thought is costing you something you cannot get back.
Jorge Perez figured this out the hard way. Then he wrote a book about it. Then the celebrities started calling.
This is the conversation about what actually happens when you stop letting your mind run the show and start directing it deliberately. Not toxic positivity. Not manifesting. The actual mechanics of where attention goes and what follows it.
What this episode covers:
Why where you put your attention is where your energy grows and why most people are accidentally growing the wrong thing.
The non-complaint protocol that works in real life, in relationships, in fertility waiting rooms, and in the moments that feel completely out of your control.
Why negativity spreads through groups like a virus and what one person changing their attention does to everyone around them.
How desire and attachment are opposites and why clutching an outcome, whether a job, a relationship, or an IVF result, is often what repels it.
What grief actually requires from your attention and why most advice about moving forward gets it completely wrong.
Why the IVF and surrogacy journey is one of the most attention-depleting experiences a person can go through and what Jorge's framework does specifically for people inside it.
The writing ritual that turns frustration into clarity in under ten minutes.
What Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Patricia Velasquez have in common with every intended parent trying to hold it together during a fertility journey.
Life is great if you put your attention there.
Life is brutal if you put your attention there.
The only variable is you.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Why attention is currency
02:24 Reinvention after loss
05:19 Stress, language, and the body
08:17 The STFU Method: non-complaint in practice
10:28 Inspirations and creative triggers
12:09 Independence vs partnership
14:06 Identity and transformation
15:59 Friendships that mirror growth
19:01 Lessons from grief and acceptance
23:54 Normalizing death conversations
26:08 Grieving and moving forward
28:22 The IVF and surrogacy chapter
30:50 Tools for navigating fertility stress
37:02 Perspective as a daily practice
39:11 Desire vs attachment
47:52 Closing doors, opening hearts
GET THE BOOK
The Shut The F*** Up Method: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shut-Fuck-Up-Method-Silence/dp/B0D57ZWRQ4
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Nobody handed gay dads a parenting manual. So they wrote their own.
And what they built in the process is something the traditional parenting world did not see coming: a community, a movement, and a new definition of fatherhood that is more intentional, more visible, and more honest than anything that came before it.
Richard and David join IVF Daddies to talk about Hey Gaddies, what it actually takes to build community for LGBTQ+ families from scratch, and why the next generation of queer parents is doing something no generation before them could.
What this episode covers:
Why gay dads are uniquely positioned to rewrite parenting norms because they never had the option of defaulting to the old ones.
The real story behind Hey Gaddies, how it started, what it became, and why it exists as a movement not just a brand.
Why visibility for transgender parents is not a culture war talking point. It is a survival issue for families raising children who need to see themselves reflected somewhere.
What step-parenting looks like inside LGBTQ+ families and why the emotional complexity is rarely talked about honestly.
Why unconscious bias in parenting is not something other people have. It is something every parent carries and the ones who acknowledge it raise better humans.
Why building community as gay dads is not optional. It is the infrastructure that makes the whole journey survivable.
What Gaddy's Day is, why it needs to exist, and why the families who would celebrate it have been waiting for it their entire lives.
Why nobody is born a bigot and what that means for how we raise the next generation.
We are building role models now.
Not for a niche. For everyone.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Navigating Parenting Challenges
02:50 Creating Inclusive Spaces for Gay Dads
05:41 Building Community and Identity
08:31 The Evolution of Queer Parenting
11:25 The Role of Stepparents in Queer Families
14:15 Balancing Traditional Roles in Modern Families
16:59 Creating a Supportive Environment
19:50 The Importance of Community Connections
21:59 Building Community as Gay Dads
30:48 Navigating Step Parenting in the LGBTQ+ Community
38:03 Celebrating Transgender Parents and Representation
40:44 Unconscious Bias in Parenting
CONNECT WITH HEY GADDIES
Website: https://heygaddies.com
Newsletter: https://heygaddies.com/pages/newsletter
Instagram: @HeyGaddies
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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Most fertility clinics were built for straight couples. The protocols, the language, the assumptions baked into every consultation. LGBTQ+ families have been navigating a system that was not designed for them and paying full price to do it.
Dr. Said Daneshmand is done with that model.
This episode is the fertility conversation that queer families have been trying to find for years. No jargon. No assumptions. No heteronormative default setting. Just a doctor who actually understands what LGBTQ+ families need and is rebuilding fertility care around them instead of asking them to fit the existing template.
What this episode covers:
The real steps of IVF and surrogacy for gay male couples told without the clinic spin that leaves out the parts that are actually hard.
What reciprocal IVF is, how it works, and why for many lesbian couples it is not just a medical procedure but one of the most profound acts of shared parenthood possible.
Why access, cost, and transparency in fertility care still fail queer families in 2025 and what that failure actually looks like from inside a consultation room.
How egg donation and sperm donation work without the jargon that clinics use to make simple things sound complicated and expensive things sound inevitable.
Why community support for LGBTQ+ families navigating fertility is not a nice to have. It is the difference between people who make it through and people who don't.
Why equality does not stop at marriage. It starts at conception. And why the fertility industry has been slow to understand that.
This is not a sterile medical conversation.
It is a movement dressed as a podcast episode.
CHAPTERS
Auto-generated. Review in Spotify for Creators.
CONNECT WITH DR. SAID DANESHMAND
Podcast: FertiliTEA with Dr. D on Spotify
Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.
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