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In this episode, we explore the role resentment plays in blocking our motivation to change—and how we can transform it into a powerful force for growth. If you’re finding yourself feeling stuck, waiting for your partner to change, or struggling to get out of the cycle of frustration, this episode offers insights and actionable strategies.
We'll discuss what resentment truly is and why it surfaces in relationships, especially when you feel unheard or treated unfairly. And if your partner’s behavior is stuck on repeat, this episode will help you stop waiting and start building the change you want to see.
In This Episode:
Understanding Resentment
What resentment is: a natural response that appears when we feel wronged or deprived of what we believe we deserve.
How resentment can act as both a motivator and a barrier, prompting us to act while also potentially keeping us stuck if not channeled properly.
Resentment as a Call to Action
Why resentment isn’t just a passive feeling; it’s an emotional signal that often drives us to “level the playing field” or push back. We’ll explore how to make sure this drive supports positive change rather than creating more conflict.
The Dual Nature of Resentment
Resentment isn’t inherently negative—it signals that we want a shift in our relationship or environment. But holding onto it too long can lead to stagnation, making change feel impossible.
Resentment as a Block to Behavior Change
When we hold onto resentment, it often makes us feel that our efforts to change are pointless, especially if we’re waiting for someone else to act first. This episode will explore how this mindset can lead to a cycle of feeling justified in staying the same, even when it harms us.
4 Key Motivation Blockers and Their Escape Routes:
Resentment
Resentment keeps us focused on others’ actions, often blinding us to our own power to change.
Hopelessness
Feeling that things will never change can make us give up before we even try.
Lack of Steps/Know-How
Not knowing where to begin can make change feel overwhelming and impossible.
Fear
Fear of failure or the unknown often holds us back from even starting.
Curious about starting your own journey of change?Check out the Relationship Reboot: A Quick Start Guide if you're open to the possibility of possibly changing. This episode will walk you through how to get past each motivation blocker and create the momentum for real, lasting growth.
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Ever been left with an “I’m sorry” that feels hollow?
Sometimes, a quick apology doesn’t really address the hurt, leaving you feeling even more disconnected. I
n this episode, we’ll explore why your communication might be missing the mark—and how you can hit a bullseye to reach a better understanding. I’ll share insights on expressing yourself in ways that move past your partner’s avoidance, helping you connect rather than clash.
If you’re dealing with a partner who tends to shut down or you’re struggling with your own reactions, episode 13 is a must-listen for managing those tough conversations with calm and clarity. In this episode, I also share real examples, including my own lesson in working as a team through challenging moments.
Looking to strengthen your communication skills? Check out our 7 Day Relationship Reboot for a step-by-step guide to help you connect more deeply and minimize the need for apologies altogether.
Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/jessicarelationshipvisionary/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100084765327582
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In this episode, we address the two biggest issues couples face when it comes to relationship repair—doing nothing and not knowing what to do. I’ll share the good news and the bad news.
The bad?
If you don’t address these issues, your relationship could suffer irreparable damage.
The good? I’ll provide practical guidance to help you take the first step.
Using real-life examples from breakthrough sessions, we explore the consequences of inaction, the power of resistance, and the mindset needed to overcome blame and take positive action. I’ll share the Rusty Bike Analogy to highlight the importance of maintenance in relationships and why waiting for problems to fix themselves only worsens the situation.
If you're unsure about where to start, don't worry. I’ll guide you through the initial steps to turn things around, and I’ve even created a downloadable guide to help you warm up the relationship, just like preparing for a run. Tune in for practical tips and avoid the dangers of staying stuck!
Here's my quick-start guide— ‘The 7-Day Relationship Reboot’—guaranteed to help you make real changes in less than a week. Grab it and start transforming your relationship today.
https://couplesspeak.com/relationship-reboot/
Socials:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jessicarelationshipvisionary/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/people/Couples-Speak/100084765327582/
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Wondering how to stop fighting with your partner or set boundaries that actually help communication instead of causing more tension? In this episode, we’re diving into how to use boundaries in a way that strengthens your relationship, reduces conflict, and helps you feel more connected. Here's my quick-start guide—‘The 7-Day Relationship Reboot’—guaranteed to help you make real changes in less than a week. Grab it and start transforming your relationship today. https://couplesspeak.com/relationship-reboot/
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In this episode, I get real and dive deep into how to avoid and stop fights with your partner, sharing one powerful phrase that can get you out of heated moments fast. Relationships are built on communication, but when things go wrong, misunderstandings can turn small issues into massive problems. I also get a little emotional when sharing a personal story, so be ready for some vulnerability.
If you’ve been searching for ways to reduce conflict, communicate more clearly, or stop the cycle of constant arguments, this episode is for you.
Why You Should Tune In:
You’re tired of walking on eggshells, afraid to say the wrong thing.
You’ve experienced fights over things that seem to come out of nowhere.
You’re ready to learn a new approach that doesn’t involve constant conflict and frustration.
Vulnerability Moment: I share a personal story where I faced my own struggles with communication and how I found a way through it. It’s a raw and real moment that might just hit home for you.
Listen Now to Discover:
How to avoid future fights by applying these simple, practical tools.
The phrase that works like a charm to calm tense situations.
The importance of understanding your partner before jumping into a fight.
This episode is packed with insights and practical advice for anyone looking to create more peace in their relationship. Ready to make a change? Let’s get into it!
Relationship Reboot: https://couplesspeak.com/relationship-reboot/
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If you're struggling to communicate and want to reboot your relationship without waiting on your partner to change, my 7-Day Relationship Reboot is designed for you. In just a week, you’ll learn simple, effective strategies to reconnect and improve communication—no couples therapy needed. Take the lead in your relationship today and start seeing results.
https://couplesspeak.com/relationship-reboot/
In this episode, we dive deep into the conflicts that arise in relationships when personal desires clash with deeper emotional needs. It’s not just about the tie, the trip, or feeling ignored—it’s about what’s truly at stake: connection, respect, and autonomy.
If you’ve ever found yourself in an argument over something small, but it escalated into something bigger, this episode is for you. Learn how to navigate these moments without triggering your partner and discover a three-phase process to problem-solve effectively.
Key Topics Discussed:
What is Control in Relationships?How subtle behaviors and well-meaning actions can come off as controlling.The difference between influencing and controlling your partner.How to Identify When You’re Being ControllingSigns that you may be trying to control the situation without realizing it.Questions to ask yourself to avoid unintentionally stifling your partner’s autonomy.The Value of Speaking and Listening Without Jumping to SolutionsWhy it’s essential to define the problem first before rushing to solve it.Techniques for speaking and listening that foster connection, not conflict.The Three Phases of Problem-Solving in Relationships -
We’ve all heard the typical relationship advice: “Say I love you every day,” “Never go to bed angry,” and other tips that sound nice but don’t always work. The truth is, many of us didn’t grow up hearing good relationship advice or having strong role models to follow.
In this episode, I share the best relationship advice I’ve ever heard. It all started at a bridal shower, where I overheard some surprising advice that really got me thinking. From there, I dive into why some of the most popular relationship tips fall flat, and what actually makes a lasting difference in building a strong connection.
Want to know how to restart positivity in your relationship? Do it in less than 7 days with my limited-time offer Relationship Breakthrough https://couplesspeak.com/relationship-reboot/.
Results guaranteed.
Episode Links:
Watch the Backwards Bike video:
https://youtu.be/MFzDaBzBlL0?si=63xoGr6fA62PhblQ
Listen to my episode on time-outs and emotional regulation
https://jessicamyersadams.podbean.com/e/episode-12-being-the-boss-of-your-emotions/
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Ever feel like your partner shuts down during important conversations? In this episode, we uncover the three most common causes of emotional shutdown in relationships. Discover how communication breakdown, unresolved stress, and unmet needs could be blocking the connection you crave. If you're tired of hitting a wall and want to create a more open, honest dialogue, this episode is for you!
Tune in to learn how to get your partner to listen without shutting down.
Sign up here for details on the 7-Day Relationship Reboot – limited-time offer!
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In this episode, we explore how to break the cycle of frustration and disconnection in relationships, especially when communication feels blocked. If you've ever found yourself replaying past arguments or feeling stuck between wanting connection and needing to protect yourself, this episode is for you.
We’ll dig into the real reason many partners struggle to connect—hint, it’s not just communication issues. Learn how to handle the differences that create emotional distance and prevent deeper intimacy. We'll also cover strategies to manage frustration, anger, and other low-frequency emotions that can disrupt your connection.
Plus, we'll introduce you to a powerful mindset shift: when one person in a relationship struggles, both partners feel the impact. Tune in for actionable tips to break this cycle, elevate your emotional energy, and stay connected—even in tough moments.
Whether you're dealing with relationship challenges, frustration, or communication roadblocks, this episode will give you the tools to navigate it all and build a stronger, more resilient connection.
Sign up here for details on the 7-Day Relationship Reboot – limited-time offer!
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Is your partner’s friendship making you uneasy? Or perhaps you’re dealing with a jealous partner who feels threatened by your relationships? In this episode, we dive into the often murky world of emotional affairs. We’ll break down the gray areas of emotional infidelity, offer you clear criteria to help you determine when a friendship has crossed a line, and explore what microcheating (a term that's gaining popularity) really means in today's digital age.
We'll also cover practical strategies to prevent emotional affairs and help you regain trust if you’re worried about your partner’s behavior. Plus, discover how my 7-Day Relationship Reboot can reignite emotional closeness and communication in your relationship, setting the foundation for long-term happiness.
Tune in to learn:
What exactly qualifies as an emotional affair?
The 5 criteria that determine if a relationship outside your partnership is inappropriate:
Why the connection exists
Whether attraction is present
How much it interferes with your current relationship
Who your priority is
If secrets are being kept
If you're ready to prevent emotional infidelity and protect the health of your relationship, don’t miss this episode. Learn the principles to build a happy relationship, strengthen your communication, and safeguard your emotional connection.
Sign up here for details on the 7-Day Relationship Reboot – limited-time offer!
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Episode Overview:
In today’s episode, we dive into a hotly debated topic: Can men and women be friends?
With strong opinions on both sides, we explore what research says and offer insights from my own experience.
After addressing some recent conversations and reflecting on my own expertise, I’ll lay out the five criteria you should consider before starting a new friendship with someone of the opposite sex or someone of the sex you're currently with.
Key Discussion Points:
Introduction: Why I decided to tackle the question of whether men and women can be friends, and the significance of this topic in the context of emotional affairs.Research Overview:NPR Story: A viral video from Utah State University where students weigh in on whether men and women can be friends. The video shows a common public perspective where men are skeptical, and women are optimistic. Dr. April Bleski's Study: Examines opposite-sex friendships through an evolutionary lens, revealing that while men might see potential romantic benefits, women often value these friendships for protection and advice.Scientific American Study by Adrian Ward: Finds that men often feel more attraction towards female friends, while women typically do not. This disparity can lead to complications in these friendships.Alternative Viewpoints: Some argue that cultural stereotypes and media portrayals skew perceptions, and that meaningful, platonic friendships between men and women are indeed possible.Expert Opinion: My take on the research and the practical implications for those in or seeking relationships. I discuss how the CoupleSpeak process can help in understanding and managing opposite-sex friendships.
Five Criteria for Opposite-Sex Friendships:Motivation for Friendship: Is the interest mutual? Does it align with your partner’s feelings? Is there a clear, respectful boundary in professional or social settings?Attraction: Is there ongoing romantic or physical attraction? How does it impact your current relationship?Impact on Relationship: Does the friendship interfere with your primary relationship?Priorities: Who comes first in your life—your partner or your friend?Secrecy: Are there any aspects of this friendship that are kept hidden from your partner?Conclusion: Reflecting on the research and my experience, I encourage you to consider these criteria thoughtfully. Understanding the dynamics of opposite-sex friendships can help maintain healthy relationships and navigate potential pitfalls.
Links:
NPR Story on opposite-sex friendships: Listen here Viral YouTube video from Utah State University: Watch hereTune in to hear the full discussion and gain insights that could help you navigate friendships and relationships more effectively!
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In this episode, we're diving deep into how you can take control of your nervous system and start responding to life’s challenges with greater awareness and intention. Jessica sits down with the insightful YI Martins to explore practical strategies for recognizing and understanding your own responses, making empowered choices, and using tools like crystals and other props to support your self-soothing journey.
YI Martins also shares her personal approach to embodying movement—revealing how this practice can transform the way you handle stress and cultivate inner calm. Whether you're new to this concept or looking to deepen your existing practice, this episode ispacked with actionable advice and inspiring insights.
Curious about how to better navigate your nervous system and enhance your emotional resilience? Tune in to discover the steps you can take today to start feeling more in control and at ease in your everyday life.
Don’t miss this empowering conversation!
Episode 9- "Discover your why" -https://youtube.com/@yizhaomartinslmft5631?si=oA-UsiqW20dSIJXn https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-s3qes-166a73f
Yi Martins
Youtube:https://youtube.com/@yizhaomartinslmft5631?si=oA-UsiqW20dSIJXn
Website:https://www.yizhaomartins.com/
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In this episode, I explore emotional sobriety, sharing powerful techniques that have helped me shift my mood and manage emotions more effectively. Reflecting on my journey that began in 2003, I discuss the importance of thinking beyond oneself and how breathwork can transform your emotional state. I also cover methods for self-regulation in relationships, managing resentments, and calming the mind through focused breathing. Additionally, I offer a glimpse into different ways to self-regulate, highlighting the connection between movement, dance, and emotional balance.
Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Instant Healing [to Release Resentments]Follow Jessica on Instagram and comment “podcast follower” for a free day of the 7-Day Reboot program.Call to Action: If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and check out Episode 12, where I discuss the beginnings of emotional clearing.
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram for more relationship insights and exclusive offers!
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n this episode, we're diving into a crucial aspect of personal growth—becoming the boss of your emotions. We'll explore how to stay in control when conflicts arise in your relationship, so you're not letting emotions take the wheel.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed or lost your cool during a disagreement, this episode is for you. We'll talk about how our brains react when we're emotionally charged, why it feels like we're in danger even when we're not, and the impact this has on our ability to think clearly.
You'll learn about practical strategies like taking a time-out and understanding the science behind why our emotions can sometimes get the best of us.
Plus, we'll discuss the importance of having a strong "why"—a reason to commit to managing your emotions better.
This isn't just about keeping calm; it's about taking charge and making meaningful changes in how you connect with your partner. Whether you're an action taker or just curious about how to improve your relationship, this episode will give you the tools to start controlling your emotions instead of letting them control you.
Don't miss out on the conversation—tune in and discover how to become the visionary in your relationship, focusing on solutions and building a stronger connection with your partner.
Connect with Jessica:
Follow Jessica on InstagramSubscribe to the podcast30-Minute Breakthrough CallTimeout and the START FrameworkListener Engagement:
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it send them a link -
In this episode, I'm diving into one of the biggest challenges many of us face in relationships: communicating frustrations without causing our partner to shut down. We've all been there—feeling unheard, unappreciated, or even misunderstood—but there's a way to express your desires and share what’s on your mind without bringing negativity into the conversation.
I'll be sharing some tried-and-true secrets to opening up these difficult conversations while keeping things constructive. Whether you're dealing with a partner who doesn't always see eye-to-eye with you or trying to reduce conflict without coming off as critical, this episode is packed with insights that can make all the difference.
Recently, I returned from an incredible trip to Kenya, Africa, where I joined 16 other therapists to launch a groundbreaking communication protocol as a pilot in a local school. This experience not only reinforced the importance of clear, compassionate communication but also provided some fresh perspectives that I'm excited to share with you.
Tune in to learn how you can:
Express your frustrations in a way that encourages understanding and connection, not conflict.Communicate your desires without sounding negative or demanding.Gain more appreciation and support from your partner by using language that fosters cooperation rather than defensiveness.Discover simple, effective strategies to transform the way you talk about sensitive issues, making your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.If you're tired of feeling like your conversations aren't going anywhere, or if you're looking for ways to bring more positivity and appreciation into your relationship, this episode is for you. It's time to stop the cycle of negativity and start communicating in a way that truly resonates with both you and your partner.
You'll walk away with practical relationship tips and advice that can make a real impact, helping you improve communication and deepen your connection with your partner. Whether you're searching for ways to enhance your couples communication or just want to increase appreciation in your relationship, this episode will provide you with the tools to do just that.
In this special episode, Jessica shares a powerful keynote speech she didon the unique opportunity that you have to change your relationship and the gift of personal growth. This talk offers a deep dive into what it truly takes to make your relationship work and how you can improve you relationship. Learn how to transform conflicts about communication styles into the ability to handle any situation with respect and understanding.
Tune in to this episode to gain valuable insights and actionable steps that will help you take your relationship to the next level.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Follow Jessica on Instagram30-Minute Breakthrough Call Subscribe to the podcast for more practical tips, heartfelt conversations, and expert advice on improving your relationship.Reach out to us for support and to discuss your specific relationship challenges.Backwards bicycle: https://youtu.be/MFzDaBzBlL0?si=Icq7mAwkSvPSxw4l -
Dive into the complex world of narcissism, exploring the spectrum fromhealthy self-love to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Learn about different types of narcissism—overt, covert, communal, antagonistic, and malignant—and how they impact relationship.
Key Topics:
Narcissism Spectrum: Healthy vs. pathological.Types of Narcissism:o Overt (Grandiose)o Covert (Vulnerable)o Communalo Antagonistico MalignantNPD vs. Narcissism: Differences and diagnosis.Signs of Vulnerable Narcissists: Recognizing subtle traits.Relationship Impact: Navigating narcissistic behaviors.Coping Strategies: Practical tips for managing relationships.Listener Takeaways:
Understand the narcissism spectrum.Identify different narcissistic behaviors.
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In this special episode, Jessica shares a powerful keynote speech she didon the unique opportunity that you have to change your relationship and the gift of personal growth. This talk offers a deep dive into what it truly takes to make your relationship work and how you can improve you relationship. Learn how to transform conflicts about communication styles into the ability to handle any situation with respect and understanding.
Episode Highlights:
Discover the key elements that can turn relationship struggles into opportunities for growth.Learn practical strategies for improving communication with your partner.Understand the importance of emotional intelligence in building a strong, resilient relationship.Gain insights into managing conflicts effectively and fostering a deeperconnection.Tune in to this episode to gain valuable insights and actionable steps that will help you take your relationship to the next level.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Follow Jessica on Instagram30-Minute Breakthrough CallLast Week's Episode on Timeout and the START FrameworkSubscribe to the podcast for more practical tips, heartfelt conversations, and expert advice on improving your relationship.Reach out to us for support and to discuss your specific relationship challenges. -
Podcast Episode Summary:
Title: Have You Truly Done Everything for Your Relationship?
In this episode of the Love Conscious Relationship Podcast, we dive into the heart of common relationship struggles many women face, such as feeling stuck, frustrated, and wondering if they've done everything possible to improve their relationship. We address whether you've truly exhausted all efforts and explore the emotions and thoughts that arise when you feel at your limit.
Key Points Covered:
Introduction:
We introduce the episode's theme, emphasizing the importance of honestly evaluating whether you've done everything possible for your relationship issues.We encourage listeners to keep an open mind and self-reflect throughout the episode.Checking In:
We discuss how many women feel they've tried everything to fix their relationship and explore the possibility of lingering resentment and self-protective shutdown.We pose a crucial question: Are you prepared to do what it takes to turn your relationship around?Case Study:
We share a recent experience with a couple in our practice, highlighting the husband's absolute beliefs about the unchangeable nature of their relationship.We describe the process of engaging with resistant parts of oneself and the importance of addressing these internal conflicts.Mindset Shift:
We emphasize the importance of shifting your mindset and thoughts, particularly watching for universal language and negative patterns.We introduce the concept of "love consciousness," where you focus on loving yourself and respecting your partner's separate thoughts and feelings.Practical Tools:
We discuss practical tools for interrupting negative thought patterns, such as pattern interrupts and shadow work.We encourage listeners to commit to a love-conscious relationship, where the relationship is viewed as the highest purpose.Taking Action:
We stress the importance of taking concrete action, not just passively consuming information.We invite listeners to engage in activities like journaling, exploring resistant parts of themselves, and having purposeful conversations with their partners.Resources and Links Mentioned:
Follow Jessica on Instagram30-Minute Breakthrough CallLast Week's Episode on Timeout and the START FrameworkSubscribe to the podcast for more practical tips, heartfelt conversations, and expert advice on improving your relationship.Reach out to us for support and to discuss your specific relationship challenges.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Love Conscious Relationship Podcast. Let's continue this journey together toward creating conscious and loving partnerships.
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In this episode of the Love Conscious Relationship Podcast, Jessica delves into a controversial topic: the belief that it takes two people to make a relationship better. Jessica challenges this notion and explores how one committed woman can take charge and create the connection she craves. This episode is packed with insights on proactive steps, overcoming resistance, and becoming a relationship visionary.
Key Points Discussed:
The Mistake of "It Takes Two to Tango": Why waiting for your partner to change might keep you stuck and unhappy.
Victim Stance vs. Proactive Action: Understanding the psychological impact of passivity and how to shift towards taking control.
Unproductive Waiting: The difference between waiting unproductively and waiting with a purpose.
The Inner Donkey Metaphor: How resistance manifests in relationships and strategies to overcome it.
Becoming a Relationship Visionary: Practical steps to prioritize growth and create positive change in your relationship.
Call to Action:
Reflect on your current relationship situation and envision where you want to be.
Consider the impact of believing in your ability to change your relationship on your own.
Commit to learning more and taking the first steps toward change.
Free Resource:
Download the free PDF roadmap, "The Relationship Visionary Roadmap," to get started on your journey towards a happier, healthier relationship. https://couplesspeak.com/stepping-stone-to-intimacy/
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Love Conscious Relationship Podcast. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with others who might benefit.
For more resources and to download your free roadmap, check the show notes.
Show Notes:
https://couplesspeak.com/stepping-stone-to-intimacy/
Keywords:
Relationship improvement
Communication strategies
Partner listening
Proactive steps
Personal growth
Relationship leadership
#RelationshipAdvice #Communication #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipLeadership #ProactiveSteps #HealthyRelationships
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In this episode, Jessica dives deeper into maintaining control of conversations, effective communication techniques, and ensuring mutual understanding in your relationship. Building on the foundation from the previous episode, you'll learn practical strategies to handle conversations that go sideways, the importance of chunking your communication, and how to confirm that your partner truly understands your perspective.
Key Topics Covered:
Handling Conversations When They Go Sideways:
Strategies to gently reclaim the conversation.Using ‘I’ statements and acknowledging your partner’s input.Example role-play to demonstrate techniques.Chunking: Breaking Down Communication:
Definition and importance of chunking.Techniques for effective chunking.Real-life examples to illustrate chunked communication.Ensuring Mutual Understanding:
Encouraging paraphrasing, clarifying questions, and empathic responses.Example role-play to showcase these techniques in action.Additional Tips and Techniques:
Setting intentions before conversations.Using positive language.Creating a safe space for dialogue.Practice:
Encourage listeners to practice chunking and asking confirming questions in a conversation with their partner this week. This practice will help reinforce the techniques discussed today.
Journal Prompt:
Reflect on a recent conversation. How did chunking and confirming questions change the interaction? What worked well, and what could be improved?
Connect with Jessica:
Follow Jessica on InstagramSubscribe to the podcastListener Engagement:
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it send them a link - もっと表示する
