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Whether our holidays are snowy or sunny—as they are for Steve Cuss as he records from Perth, Australia—the same thing is true: Christmas is a time to remember God’s nearness to us. Steve looks to the text of Luke 2, exploring Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem and their quest for a place to stay. He describes the meaning behind the Greek word philoxenia (“love of the stranger”) and the Hebrew word Immanuel (“God with us”) and considers what those terms may mean for Christians today.
Ultimately, Steve encourages listeners to recognize that God is the ultimate host—welcoming us with love into a forever family.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Peculiar Treasures by Frederick Buechner
“Six White Boomers”
Philoxenia
Immanuel
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When the American version of The Office premiered on NBC in 2005, its all-star cast charged right through the fourth wall and looked the audience in the eye. The show’s unique style and cringeworthy stories didn’t just put a new kind of television on display—they explored anxiety in the workplace and relationships in a fresh, often embarrassment-fraught way.
As Steve Cuss and his son Andrew talk about the episode “Dinner Party”—arguably one of the most “I can’t keep watching this but I also can’t look away” moments of the show—they explore how the episode reveals anxieties and idiosyncrasies in the characters. They talk about enmeshment, detachment, and differentiation. Listen and consider how art often reflects our anxieties back to us and can help us better understand them.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
The Office
“Dinner Party”
Friedman’s Fables by Ed Friedman
“Anxiety Is on the Runway in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’”
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What do a high schooler’s senior year and the offices of a high-fashion magazine have in common? Stress.
During a discussion of The Devil Wears Prada, Steve Cuss and his college-bound daughter, Kaylee Cuss, talk about the anxiety on display in the iconic Meryl Streep film. The two talk about how Streep’s character, Miranda Priestly, may be the one in charge, but she’s arguably also the most anxious. They talk about trying to fit into existing systems, high emotions in the workplace, and relational enmeshment. Tune in for a heartfelt, insightful discussion of failure, success, and taking care of the relationships that matter most.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
The Devil Wears Prada
“Ep148: Gilmore Girls and Systems Theory”
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When Joy Allmond was fresh out of college, she struggled to find a professional role in her field. She decided to make the most of her young, single years and became a flight attendant. The Lord used that experience to broaden her perspective—especially when she staffed one of the first flights to take to the skies after September 11, 2001.
Now, Allmond is the executive editor of Christianity Today. She and Steve talk about how airport behavior often reveals deeper feelings and what it takes to manage a crisis. They talk about the recent CT redesign, new content in the magazine, and Allmond’s hopes for CT’s future. Allmond shares her thoughts on the church at its best, experiences of feeling fully loved, and taking time to hear from the Lord.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
“We Can’t Worry Our Way to Peace”
November/December 2024 issue of Christianity Today
“CT Design, Redesign, and Re-redesign, from 1956 to Today”
“Qualms and Proverbs” (CT advice column)
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As the Thanksgiving holiday draws near in the US, Steve and Lisa Cuss reflect on the importance of gratitude. They talk about intentionally prioritizing the activities, people, and places that help us feel alive. Steve shares how keeping a Life Giving List has helped him through challenging faith seasons, and Lisa gives some practical examples for cultivating thankfulness in everyday life.
Steve and Lisa talk about the often emotional experience of gathering with family for holidays and how to develop a noticing frame of mind. They discuss political differences among loved ones, strategies for deepening our relational capacity, and the power of curiosity.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Capable Life Free Resource Dashboard (includes Life Giving List)
“Enneagram, Anxiety, and What We Live For” with Jimmy Carnes
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How can Christians know if they are managing their relationships in a healthy way? What does it look like to treat people with mental health disorders lovingly and respectfully? When should parents of young adults speak up, and when should they let their children learn on their own?
These are the types of inquiries that you, listeners of Being Human, have shared with us. Listen as the Cusses answer:
What are family systems theory and internal family systems theory, and how do they relate to faith?
How can Christians discern between healthy, gospel-based differentiation of self and becoming detached or cynical?
How can leaders operate so that those around them can air their differences without dumping all their projections onto the leader?
What does it look like to navigate settings where an individual’s mental health struggle is setting the tone for a group?
Since most well-meaning laypeople are not trained therapists, what is the church’s role in dealing with mental illness?
What are some words of wisdom for parents whose children will soon exit their teen years and enter young adulthood?
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Bowen family systems theory
Internal family systems theory
A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
“Introducing ‘Being Human with Steve Cuss’”
Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs & Experience of God by Steve Cuss
Capable Life
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Being fully seen and fully known can feel, in a word, terrifying. And yet, that’s exactly what our souls crave—and exactly what God designed for us to experience.
From the Sheep Meadow of New York City’s Central Park, Steve Cuss explores the idea of being entirely ourselves. He considers the two protective extremes that often keep people from being fully human: pretense and pretending. Cuss walks through 1 John 3:19–20, which describes being vulnerable in the presence of a God who is greater than our hearts that condemn us. He looks at Jesus as the preeminent example of being exactly ourselves, shares stories from his time as a chaplain, and offers practical steps for remaining loving and curious in relationships.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
Capable Life Intensives
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Five years ago, Barrett Harkins walked Spain’s Camino de Santiago—an ancient Christian pilgrimage walked by over 500,000 people each year—for a friend’s birthday. Somewhere along the path, he called his wife and asked what she thought about moving there.
Now a missionary in Santiago, where he works with pilgrims on the path and at a hostel, Harkins and Steve Cuss walk the path together. They talk about the power of slowing down and the profound conversations that take place as people journey with one another. They explore what God does in temporary spaces, what it looks like to let go of what we no longer need, and why it is important to create a reflective mind.
Harkins discusses the history of the Camino, the reasons people walk the path, and the way many pilgrims—including Harkins—have found it to be a place where God meets them in their anxiety and offers transformation.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guests include:
Camino de Santiago
“The Power of Pilgrimage with Brian and Peri Zahnd”
Three Mile an Hour God by Kosuke Koyama
John Mark Comer
The Enneagram
Striking Out: Poems and Stories from the Camino by Stephen Cottrell
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Chuck DeGroat’s name has become somewhat synonymous with work on narcissism in the church. But as he and Steve Cuss discuss, DeGroat is devoted to shining a light on wholeheartedness and internal integration.
DeGroat and Cuss talk about anxiety—specifically around dying—and the way that age often brings with it a concern for one’s legacy. They talk about experiencing pain through work in church settings, noticing emotions that arise in ourselves and others, and coming home to God and ourselves—all while considering the impact of secondary trauma on people in pastoral and helping professions, ways to distinguish between shutdown and rest, and our response to the invitation of God.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guests include:
Chuck DeGroat
Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself—and to God—When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering by Chuck DeGroat
Wholeheartedness: Busyness, Exhaustion, and Healing the Divided Self by Chuck DeGroat
When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat
“Narcissism In The Chair”
Internal Family Systems model
The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss
Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
“Always Beginners” by Thomas Merton
Experimental Theology with Richard Beck
The Enneagram
Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me: A Memoir … of Sorts by Ian Morgan Cron
Click here to ask Steve a question.
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Brandi Wilson was happily raising her three sons with her pastor husband—that is, until he decided to leave their marriage, their family, and the church they had invested in for years.
Close friends and leadership coaches Brandi Wilson and Lori Wilhite share how they weathered Wilson’s devastating loss together. They talk about the particular struggles of being a pastor’s wife and the heartbreak of feeling like someone else is controlling your life circumstances. They discuss managing anxiety, bearing one another’s burdens, and healing even when restoration does not occur.
They also share about the community they run together—Leading and Loving It—and why, despite all the hard things, they still love the church.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guests include:
Brandi Wilson
Lori Wilhite
Leading and Loving It
Friedman’s Fables by Ed Friedman
The Enneagram
Philippians: Chasing Happy by Lori Wilhite
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Beth Moore is sure of one thing: In God, nothing is wasted.
On this episode, Cuss and Moore talk about the trauma and trials she has faced, including her experience of being abused as a child, leaving the Southern Baptist Convention after devoting much of her life to it, and walking alongside her husband, Keith, as he navigates bipolar disorder. They discuss how Moore decided to share more of their story in her memoir and the ways God has ministered to people through that vulnerability.
Tune in for an episode that speaks to God’s faithfulness in trauma, how Moore remains playful in the face of hardship, and what her recent back surgery taught her about how deeply God loves his children.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guest include:
All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore
Living Proof Ministries
Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story by Bono
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Have you ever walked into a room and immediately sensed anxiety between two people? Or maybe you’ve entered into a challenging conversation and have barely been able to hear it over the thunder of your heartbeat. Perhaps you’ve received a “we need to talk” text and felt your stomach drop with dread.
These types of experiences—and reactions to them—are common, yet we often lack the tools to name or address them. On this episode of Being Human, Steve and Lisa Cuss introduce a tool called the Four Spaces that is designed to help us do just that. They explain the four spaces where anxiety shows up and offer wisdom and insight for engaging with each of them. Their conversation covers taking responsibility for our emotions, releasing our desire to control others, and relaxing in God’s presence.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guest include:
The Four Spaces
24-7 Prayer Tools
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Why would a loving God send people to hell?
When you hear the word apologetics, that’s likely the type of question that comes to mind. But Lisa Fields, one of the world’s most sought-after Christian apologists and the author of When Faith Disappoints, says there are often much more personal inquiries beneath those intellectual inquiries.
In this episode, Fields and Cuss talk about pastors’ kids, pain points, and perfect love. They discuss the importance of listening when it comes to challenging faith conversations and consider the ways that the church can become a place of refuge. Fields shares how the Jude 3 Project, which she founded, is helping the Black Christian community know what they believe and why. This episode covers trauma, chronic anxiety, and the healing that is only found in Jesus.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guest include:
When Faith Disappoints: The Gap Between What We Believe and What We Experience by Lisa Fields
Jude 3 Project
Unspoken
Juneteenth: Faith & Freedom
Why I Don’t Go
Leo Percer
Tertullian
Athanasius
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Around 250,000 people walk some portion of the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile network of ancient pilgrim routes in Spain, each year. In 2016, Brian and Peri Zahnd became two of those people, and it’s marked their lives ever since.
On this episode, host Steve Cuss talks with the Zahnds about the ways that the pilgrimage shaped their perspectives on life and faith. The three discuss pastoring, political participation, and peace in Jesus. Their conversation also covers the Zahnds’ books, ministry, and marriage.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guests include:
Brian Zahnd
Every Scene By Heart: A Camino de Santiago Memoir by Peri Zahnd
Word of Life Church
Camino de Santiago
Faith, Hope, and Carnage by Nick Cave and Seán O’Hagan
The Way
Scot McKnight
Paul Among the People: The Apostle Reinterpreted and Reimagined in His Own Time by Sarah Ruden
Albergues on the Camino
The Wood Between the Worlds: A Poetic Theology of the Cross by Brian Zahnd
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Humility isn’t just deferring to the desires of others. It’s also standing up for the weak.
So says Dennis Edwards, vice president for church relations and dean of the seminary at North Park University, on this episode of Being Human. Cuss and Edwards talk about how Edwards’s many experiences of being the only Black man in the room have shaped him and his perspective. They talk about thoughtful and biblical approaches to theological education, the modern political landscape, and social media. And Cuss and Edwards consider how, for all of its flaws and challenges, the local church can offer unity in a way entirely its own.
Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guest include:
RevDrDre.com
Humility Illuminated: The Biblical Path Back to Christian Character by Dennis R. Edwards
1 Peter (The Anchor Yale Bible Commentaries) by John H. Elliott
The Urban Christian: Effective Ministry in Today’s Urban World by Ray Bakke
Bowen family systems theory
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The Bear is a show about cooking, kitchens, and Chicago. But for anyone who has watched more than an episode or two, it’s clear there’s more to the story.
On this special episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss looks at seven core themes in the hit FX show The Bear. Through the lens of systems theory and anxiety theory, Cuss considers the false needs and beliefs revealed in the show’s characters. He examines their contagious anxiety, sheds light on their conflict patterns, and considers what the show has to say about relationships. Diving into everything from untamed ambition to unprocessed trauma, Cuss ponders the deeply human moments that keep viewers returning to The Bear.
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On this episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss welcomes Alan Briggs, the founder of Stay Forth, a coaching organization that focuses on leader health and sustainable impact. Briggs’s latest book, AntiBurnout, empowers readers to avoid the perils of burnout and offers practical ways to measure one’s own health and well-being.
Cuss and Briggs discuss the back-to-school anxiety that so many families face, how our individual wiring contributes to our unique anxiety triggers, and how to navigate modern political life. Their discussion includes tips and tools for identifying the skills, gifts, and abilities that can lead us away from resentment and toward rest.
Resources mentioned during this episode include:
The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss
God, Christ and Us by Herbert McCabe
AntiBurnout: A Lighter Way to Live and Lead in a Heavy World by Alan Briggs
Stay Forth
Dr. Wes Beavis
The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team by Patrick Lencioni
The Enneagram
Capable Life
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The Sermon on the Mount is beautiful. It’s also hard.
On this episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss welcomes his friend, the pastor and author Rich Villodas. The two discuss Villodas’ new book, The Narrow Path, which focuses on the Matthew text. Villodas and Cuss discuss false needs, the longing for the good life, and what it means that God only dwells in reality.
Resources mentioned during this episode include:
New Life Fellowship Church
The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus by Rich Villodas
Good and Beautiful and Kind: Becoming Whole in a Fractured World by Rich Villodas
The Narrow Path: How the Subversive Way of Jesus Satisfies Our Soulsby Rich Villodas
God, Christ and Us by Herbert McCabe
Faith Within Reason by Herbert McCabe
The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out by Brennan Manning
Pete Scazzero
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“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today
Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper
Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens
Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
Theme song by Dan Phelps
Original Music by Andy Gullahorn
Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris
Graphic Design: Amy Jones
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“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
So says Paul in Romans 7, and so, it seems, says the character of Riley in Disney and Pixar’s Inside Out 2. On a special episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss and his wife, therapist Lisa Cuss, explore what the film has to say about being human.
They talk about the film in terms of the internal family systems model and family systems theory. Ultimately, they consider what it looks like to notice parts of ourselves while remembering our core identity in Christ.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Inside Out
Inside Out 2
Internal family systems model
Bowen family systems theory
Richard Schwartz
Capable Life
“Put Yourself on Your Conscious List of Relationships”
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