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Author Sasha Saidman knows what it’s like to have struggles with learning and to question your intelligence. As a person with dyslexia and a high school dropout, Sasha is passionate about helping other individuals with learning disabilities discover their gifts and realize how intelligent they truly are, and embracing themselves as “outside the box thinners.” Today she shares her childhood story of being in a family who provided emotional safety and urged her to advocate for herself. She and Dr. Beth offer some of their favorite parenting advice, highlighting the importance of emotional safety, Sasha has written children’s books about dyslexia, adoption, and other topics. To learn more about her book “Melonade” and others, go to sashasaidman.com
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Thanks to a conversation about licorice with a dental tech, Dr. Beth got to hear a wonderful story about a young woman’s struggles with severe anxiety. This woman, Erika Derryberry, she how she got her anxiety to a manageable level, from antidepressant medication to EMDR to neurofeedback, meanwhile developing a huge passion for holistic medicine and natural cures. Today Erika shares her story with Dr. Beth.
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Today Dr. Beth attempts to get some free counseling from her listeners as she processes some recent parenting mistakes in her own family. She discussed some of the components of executive functioning which she, and most parents with ADHD) are lacking in. these include skills, such as decision-making, prioritizing, planning ahead, and organizing. Beth shares a few examples how poor planning can cause a lot of unnecessary distress and disappointment. She urges other parents to learn from her mistakes and to be a better captain of their families ship, so to speak.
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Years ago, Beth came up with the term “Overfunctioner” and frequently talks about this with clients and friends who tend to overwork, overperform, do more than their share, and frequently have trouble being on the receiving end of things. There are a variety of potential reasons that people overfunction, including perfectionism, childhood trauma, feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, feeling that love and approval is conditional, etc. Beth is passionate about helping people like this and today she shares a couple examples of people who worked through these issues and learned to love, value and protect themselves more and to exercise greater self compassion.
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Today Beth records a spontaneous podcast on parenting, and shares her own personal struggles with it, as well a couple of client examples. She summarizes the parenting research on authoritative parenting and illustrates the principles using a fish tank/aquarium. In essence, parenting that is too strict and too much like a dictatorship doesn’t lead to optimal outcomes for children, but permissive and overly lenient parenting doesn’t either. The ideal is in the middle, but Beth admits that she’s too democratic in her parenting style, and talks a little bit about how that backfires. The ideal is a balance. Beth also talks about how her own ADHD relates to having traits of a “passive parenting”, or being too permissive at times, and how this relates to deficits and executive functioning (making decisions, planning ahead, being organized, etc.). Although it’s not always a parent, kids really want parents to be the captain of the ship, as long as there’s not too much rigidity and excessive control.
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In this 10 minute episode, Beth shares a few examples of how perfectionism or overestimating a task/situation can lead to procrastination and all our nothing thinking. A common behavior and anxious, depressed or ADHD individuals is overestimating the difficulty of something and underestimating yourself. Analysis paralysis is similar. Beth shares three examples of this behavior in today’s episode.
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In his mid 40s, Jeff Barry, an “oops” baby, became passionate about his life story, the heroes and the villains he’d encountered, and the life lessons along the way. His book “Go to Hell Ole Miss” is clearly a passion project, and one that he couldn’t sit down until he got it almost perfect. An editor told him it was ready to publish about a year into the process, but he spent another seven years developing the characters in a “pitch perfect “ way, according to a fellow author. Somehow, Jeff manages to tackle big picture issues such as racism, misogyny, southern culture, religion, and family dysfunction in an entertaining way. Jeff poured himself into this project, even talking to the characters out loud while he was writing the story. He even shares his struggle with depression when the project was over.
Check out his website HERE
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Today, Beth asks dietitian Ellie, Paulauskaite for her top 10 pieces of nutrition advice. Ellie provides some amazing and simple guidelines to help with a big picture approach to giving our bodies what they need. Her advice includes:
1) eating whole grains instead of refined grains
2) making sure that half of your plate includes veggies and fruits, especially veggies
3) having small amounts of protein at every meal
4) mindful, eating, slowing down and being aware of and grateful for what you’re eating
5) having fermented foods daily in order to improve gut health
6) The three pillars of a healthy lifestyle include nutrition (eg, a Mediterranean diet), movement, and community/connection
7) limiting overprocessed food (and explaining what that means)
8) meal prepping and having quick/realistic “go to” recipes
9) eat the colors of the rainbow for more variety and diversity
10) keep an eye on your bowel movements because they can tell you a lot about your health and nutrition. (number 10 gave Beth an opportunity to show her immature side with a little giggle, partly because Ellie added this 10th one unexpectedly.)
If you would like to set up a consultation with Ellie, you can check out her website sceniccitynutrition.com or email her at [email protected] or call/text her at 423-708-2322
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Chad talks about his journey as an Enneagram Four and coming into his own as an adult, recognizing his tendencies and passions, and how they affected his relationships. As a teenager and young adult, he was reluctant to pursue some of his passions, like poetry, that didn’t seem very welcomed in masculine culture. He also talks about his Enneagram subtype as a Sexual (One to One) type, and the way it shapes his Four-ness. After a "wake up call” with a near death experience while paddle boarding the Ocoee River last summer, Chad has a renewed sense of self, including integrating his shadow, and other challenging soul work. He recites two poems for memory during the interview, and talks about how the ego rather than the soul wants to do everything at once. Beth talks about how she “can’t “seem to make herself do what she knows she is supposed to do or what is good for her consistently, but she should have said “I don’t “instead of “I can’t “or that it’s difficult…"
Check out Big Self School and Dr. Chad Prevost's website
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Today Matt Monahan returns for another interview with Dr. Beth, following a great conversation on the Never Perfect Faith podcast on 6/20/24 entitled “Allowing hard questions and honest answers.” So many men find it difficult to face their pain and be vulnerable, and Matt is willing to share his story of growing up with childhood abandonment and emotional neglect. He barely knew his father, and has spent most of his life, wondering if he is good enough. He realized that his feelings about his father translated into his assumptions about God, which unconsciously happens for many. He felt that “if God existed, he would be a capricious and attentive military “type of person. Matt discusses how his insecurity and self loathing translated into his 25 year marriage. He discusses various triggers, including his wife, rejecting, sexual intimacy, and the despair that followed. He talked about the relationship challenges that presented during Covid, and the unexpected healing that came as a result of having more time for introspection. Tune in to hear how Matt pursued healing through self help and faith. And if you want to check out his artwork, go to his website at themightybluegill.com
Follow Matt on instagram @themightybluegill
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On today’s episode, Beth, interviews 2 brave and insightful teenagers (clients who are friends with eachother) who are willing to share their battles with mental health issues, body positivity struggles, etc. Charlie and Emie share their process of learning to value their package deal of strengths and weaknesses, managing social stressors and FOMO, discussing the impact of social media with these issues, and a few other topics. Also, both Charlie and Emie highly recommend the Finch app as a way to improve healthy habits and mental health. On this app is a daily quote, and Emie shared a recent one by Socrates which related to today’s discussion, “He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”
Check out FINCH
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Scottie Bowman is an entrepreneur and restaurant owner today, but 22 years ago, after beginning her recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, she developed a passion for starting a rehabilitation center of some kind so that she could help women like herself. In 2019, her dream finally came true when she and her dream team of friends and colleagues, developed a 12-step based sober living home for women recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. In today’s episode, Scottie shares her addiction story and the ongoing mission of the Launch pad.
“The Launch Pad is a non-profit organization dedicated to launching women out of addiction and into the healing power of a 12-step sober living program.
We provide housing, mentorship, and workforce development that is nurtured with love, support, and structure. Success in our program fosters a strong belief in oneself, allowing our residents to become more productive members of the community while igniting a sense of purpose, sustainability, and empowerment.”
Learn more about the Launch Pad at www.lpchatt.org
Also if you live in Chattanooga or you want to make a road trip, please join us at their annual charity auction and concert on August 10 called “The Teal”!
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Sydney Guerette, founder of the Be The Change Youth Initiative, shares the reasons her family began a quest when she and her brother were teenagers of traveling the country, writing music and speaking to other teenagers about mental health issues and how they can make a difference in their everyday lives. Sydney believes that “all youth should be seen, heard, and loved,” as well as empowered “to become advocates for their communities.“ The Executive Director of Hands and Feet Project (Mark Stuart) said that Sydney‘s work is “proving that youth truly have the power to impact the lives of people all around the world.”
Find more information and how you can volunteer or donate at bethechangeyi.com
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Today the hosts of Enneagram + Yoga, Christy Bonner and Kat Smith, return to the show to discuss the unique challenges of different Enneagram types to tune into their bodies. They describe each type briefly and how they can find ways to get centered and listen to their body. They also have a fun discussion about sex and intimacy related to embodiment and the enneagram types. Beth talks about the value of practicing the opposite of your normal tendencies as a way to grow.
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In this short episode, Beth attempts to explain the impact of the nervous system on anxiety levels. She describes the speeding up (the sympathetic process) and the slowing down, a compensatory mode (parasympathetic) and how it relates to the fight flight and freeze responses that we have. Sometimes our nervous systems speed up because we encounter real danger or situations we fear and sometimes we have anxious thoughts or fears that cause us to go into fight or flight. Beth talks about how we can unknowingly put ourselves into panic mode or fear mode because of our thoughts and associations. She explains how our nervous systems try to prepare for danger by being hypervigilant, and how this relates to social anxiety. Some techniques can help us put our nervous systems in a calmer state. Other people may also try to read our facial expressions and nonverbal cues to try to figure out whether we are safe or not. A few client examples that relate to these concepts, including the emotional labels that we put on our heightened nervous system states.
Remember trauma nervous system.
Non-verbal communication Training
How does your body respond to dangers?
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This episode is more of an informational discussion on inpatient treatment and intensive outpatient treatment, for those who need more than just standard counseling and therapy . Beth interviews staff from local facility Erlanger Behavioral Health CEO Robin Weagley and Business Development Director Roberto Garcia, and they discuss the differences between inpatient treatment, partial hospitalization, and intensive outpatient treatment. They provide suggestions on how to determine whether someone needs varying levels of care.
Erlanger Behavioral Health VISIT HERE
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In this episode, dr. Beth interviews Brittanee Estes, a marriage and family therapist, who deals with autism spectrum disorders and ADHD. Brittanie describes the autism spectrum and the criteria/categories used to diagnose it. The first category relates to difficulty understanding and maintaining relationships, and trouble understanding, nonverbal cues. The second category relates to repetitive motor movements, flexibility, with routines, fixated, interests, and sensory issues. And of course, Dr. Beth shares, professional and personal stories to illustrate. Brittanie talks about how she uses family systems work to help the families understand the disorder and how to work with it. She also works with clients to help regulate their nervous system and to help their family members go regulate with them.
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In this very short episode, Beth was so inspired immediately following a counseling session with a man in his late 60s that she wanted to record this podcast. Her client Joe is blind and has had two organ transplants and faced much adversity due to health problems. And yet he, a retired chemist and chef, continues to develop proactive ideas to help inner city and aging people get access to better nutrition. During their counseling session, he shared a YouTube video, by Admiral William McRaven, called “One Person Can Change the World: The Power of Hope” with tears streaming down his face. It was very powerful for Beth to see a man who struggles to walk and to see, and how he’s still trying to change the world, one step at a time. These are the types of conversations that Beth feels are so sacred they must be shared with others.
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Today Joe Timberlake returns to Never Perfect for a conversation about addiction recovery and recovery (previous podcast, was called “The Journey to Good Enough”). Joe has been in recovery for about 35 years, and he talks about his journey as a sponsor and a sponsee, and what that looks like. Beth and Joe talk about a little bit of everything related to Recovery. Including conversation about the attempt to fill our voids, imposter syndrome, Dumping your pain, connection and isolation, dropoing the rock, asking God to.remove our defects of character, a problem shared is a problem halved, isolation, shame and self hatred, assuming sponsors are too busy or they aren’t important enough , looking for something to fill your void or satisfy the existential ache inside you, engaging with others, the rules of engagement, the power of sharing things out loud, the importance of accepting powerlessness, that’s when it’s unmanageable, positive rules of engagement, etc. Joe has a wealth of wisdom and experience to share.
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In this episode, Physical therapist and former NFL player Nic Colbert shares his life story and mental health of battling depression from early childhood through the present. Nic vulnerably shares his experience of shame, low self-worth, and self harm over the years and how he has grown and use therapy over the last seven years to get to his healthiest place.
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