エピソード
-
What does it mean to be broken?
As survivors of abuse we often feel beyond repair
That isn't really true but it can feel that way
If we can unlearn the lessons we were taught by being abused
Then we learne that we aren't really broken, just injured
-
There are so many reasons that we stay silent about our abuse
It can be so hard to break the shame and guilt that keep us from speaking about what happened
But are you robbing yourself of getting past the abuse you survived by keeping silent
Are you forcing yourself and those that care about you to suffer from the issues that you refuse to address
If you feel that what happened doesn't matter so it isn't worth dealing with, you are just trying to hide from your issues
When you find the freedom and courage to share about what happened then you find the freedom to be compassionate with yourself and take care of yourself
-
エピソードを見逃しましたか？
-
Why is personal growth so important for survivors of abuse?
Many of us were taught by our abusers that we did not matter, that we were just objects to be used
It is through personal growth that we can prove to ourselves that we do matter and we deserve to have hope and healing
It is the small steps that we take to take care of ourselves and improve little by little that leads to the larger goals that take back our self esteem
-
The coach was found guilty of all 19 charges of sex crimes in Sumner Washington!
We have been following this trial for the last couple of years and we are thrilled that the perpetrator has been found guilty on all counts of the sex crimes!
We first reported on this crime back in episode 87 in December of 2023 when we did a panel about sex abuse in sports with our guest Charnell Bolger, Kevins wife, who as a former athlete and coach and daughter of a coach, is very passionate about this subject
Her research on this issue also led us to our interview episode 89 with Sam Dordulian the Founder and President of the Dordulian Law Group in the Los Angeles area, and to the website US Center for Safe Sport which is an important resource for athletes and for parents and family members of athletes to be aware of the issues of sexual abuse in sports
We, of course, are very thrilled with this verdict and are also so proud of the brave young men who had the courage to stand up to the abuse and report the abuser and go on the stand in the trial and testify what he had done to them, so we have joined with Charnell again to discuss this important trial
https://uscenterforsafesport.org/safesport-ready-app/
https://www.king5.com/article/news/local/jury-reaches-verdict-trial-ex-sumner-basketball-coach-charged-sex-crimes/281-53513d7a-00a1-4bb8-a271-fbc4433e5d0e
https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Shame-Survivors-Understanding-Development/dp/B09XVH1RWJ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3T0PL2DOWBPPM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YzWjsw99X9Kum6sJzUbtb1QiSqxMh0W7-h4oggolaHw.eTBDRenGn25ITSHuh-quaNRQJbNS9jLv9rCw7OZIyKc&dib_tag=se&s=audible&sprefix=secret+shame+book+douglas+carpenter%2Caudible%2C140
https://www.dlawgroup.com/
-
For this week we are doing something diffrerent
Charnell was able to find the original recording of when Kevin gave his testimony of being a survivor of abuse in Church
Since this is where it all started for this podcast we decided to publish it to share how it all began
This is in a way the origin story of this podcast
-
How we talk about what happened to us as survivors can be very important in our healing
If we are using language that can be harmful for ourselves we can make it harder to get past our history
That is why it is so important to pay attention to what we are saying to others and to ourselves about what happened to us and to learn from that on how to make changes
-
Almost two years after we first interviewed Luke we followed up to see how he was doing
What we found out is that he had been doing a lot!
His story is so inspiring to show how we can make a difference
Luke has taken his story to other podcasts and shows to spread the message to other survivors of abuse that you are not alone
That there is healing and help and you deserve to have hope
We are so thankful and encouraged by the work that Luke is doing and that we get to be a part of this
-
We are re-visiting our first interview with Luke to highlight the remarkable journey that began then with that episode
When Luke first contacted us we asked him if he would like to share on our podcast because we thought that his story of being abused by a woman could resonate with other men who were too ashamed to speak out
Since that episode almost four years ago Luke has been advocating for survivors sharing his story on podcasts and other platforms as well as joining us on panels and now he is working with CSAsurvivors org to support others
We are very proud to have been a part of Luke's journey to healing and helping other survivors and look forward to what is in the future with him
For more info about CSAsurvivors:
https://soscsa.org/about
-
We have both had a couple of rough weeks and I have to admit it has been enough that I was questioning what is the point?
I am not very proud of how I felt like I was ready to give up
This isn't easy and there are times when I wonder why I am putting myself through this
Then I got a reminder of why this matters, why it is so important that this message is heard, why your stories count
It is for those children who need our protection, those children that depend on us
We have a responsibility to share our stories so that others are aware of the scope of this issue and will be able to pay attention of what they should be looking out for
Our mission started out to share Hope and Healing to other survivors who have gone through this and this is still one of our main goals
But it is also very important that we share this message so that others will be aware of the scope of this issue and pay attention
We can help prevent this from happening to other innocent children through awareness so we must try
-
In this week we are revisiting our panel discussion about toxic masculinity with our guests Mike Chapman and Nathan Spiteri
We feel that this is such an important topic for survivors of sexual abuse since toxic masculinity can often be a result of abuse, for male survivors it can be one of the ways of coping
This can lead to unhealthy relationships with others and an inability to be vulnerable
It doesn't help that we are so overwhelmed with depictions of toxic masculinity in all the media that we are exposed to that it seems normal and celebrated
-
For this episode we are excited to have Kevin's wife Charnell on for her experience working with children in the classroom and as a coach
What is our role if we see something and wonder if we should report it?
We all would like to believe that abuse happens to someone else, not to anyone that we know
That it happens in those other places, not here in our nice neighborhood or school or church
But abuse does not discriminate- it happens everywhere
1 in 4 girls are sexually abused by the time that they are 18 ,and 1 in 6 boys
These are our kids who this is happening to
What can we do if we see something that just doesn't seem right?
Are we supposed to tell someone?
It can be very scary and messy to bring it up if we see something that we think isn't right- but it is worth it if it means you can save someone from abuse
So what can you do?
If you see something- report it
https://www.iamonwatch.org/
https://www.thehotline.org/
-
Trauma from abuse can show up in many ways, some might seem very obvious and some might not
The truth is if we ignore the affect that the trauma has on our life it doesn't go away it just gets worse
We can try to hide it by overachieving or appearing to be so in control
But often the affects will show up in ways that we aren't aware of and they can be very devastating to our mental and physical health and this can also affect our relationships
It is not uncommon that when we address our trauma and start to get healing that survivors will also find that some of the physical ailments that they had will also get better
-
For so long I did not want to share about the abuse that happened to me because I did not want to feel that people would pity me
It felt like because I was a survivor of abuse that my life was tragic
Once I started addressing what happened to me and working on the issues that I had, it started to become easier to share because I felt better about how I was dealing with it
The more that I worked at it, the more that I began to feel triumphant about what I overcame
If you are a survivor and are working on overcoming the issues that you have because of the trauma that you experienced than you are being triumphant over all the things that happened to you that were trying to wreck your life
And you should be proud of that
Just a note- we recorded this episode right after our friend Dan had his heart attack and before he passed away so we waited to post this because we wanted to have the tribute to him first so that is why we talk about his heart attack in this episode
-
We are re posting this interview to honor the memory of our friend Dan who we had the pleasure of getting to know from his interviews and the panels that he participated on
This interview was very memorable because of how much impact it had for Dan to share his story of being an abuse survivor the first time we interviewed him
His perspective about what changed for him after sharing his story was very revealing and it confirms so much of how important it is to a survivor to have a voice
We miss you dearly Dan and I wish we had your wisdom and wit on more of our show, but we are so thankful that we did get to know you and all of the wonderful work that you did in supporting others who were struggling
-
It is with great sadness that we are saying goodbye to our friend Dan Hillman who we had the honor to interview over three years ago and have had on panels and interviewed again a year after the first time
Dan had a heart attack in November and this led to him going into a coma which he did not recover from
Dan's story was very impactful for both of us and for all who his life has touched
He went through so much pain and suffering which was a reason for so much of the struggles that he had in his life but through the grace of God he overcame so much and after becoming sober was able to help so many others to heal and have hope
We will miss you greatly Dan but we will never forget you!
So in your memory we are re-posting your first interview now and then we will run the last interview next week
God rest Dan
-
We are not trying to be controversial by praying every week
and we really don't want to offend anyone or force our beliefs on anyone
What we want most of all is to offer hope to everyone who is listening
That is all that we want, it is the reason that we are doing this podcast to offer hope
-
We are so excited to have our guests Mike Chapman and Luke Wiersma with us to talk about the treatments that they have had in their therapy and the new treatments that are available now for survivors of trauma
We also discus what it has been like to share our stories and why that has been so important for our healing
EDMR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a psychotherapyhttps://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/Brainspottinghttps://brainspotting.com/Comprehensive Resource Model (CRM)https://comprehensiveresourcemodel.com/Hunahttps://www.huna.com/what-is-huna/CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapyInternal Family Systems - IFShttps://ifs-institute.com/
https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.emdr.com%2Fwhat-is-emdr%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR3ymV_rQNf7cqUQDTKKqCMfI7qqVfcri-tJuvgji5Wc-B2WGCKra2ppCnI_aem_Mrbj3SmrYlfQy9WJaSm-Cg&h=AT2ojxMEuGIXX73mtdnXJx3g3DucMJ_dqumKWMgSQPEaPAtob24XDcXPxBQPeDUfDRfUKMsZpLuTwhiyeGby8MpJ1kDzk8KS0WlUtaCv3Z2MC8ZUBDpSsSHTtwFVxUWlrL2fI7UMwuVm-YY
-
Automatic Negative Thoughts are something that can make our lives miserable
Especially for survivors of abuse we have often been taught so many of these thoughts from our abuse and we might not be aware of them when they are happening
So what can we do about them when they happen?
Dr. Daniel Amen teaches that there are ways to counter these thoughts and it starts with recognizing them and then there are techniques that you can use to change them
-
We have talked about the importance of healing from abuse and why healing matters not only for us the survivors of abuse, but to our relationships
But we haven't really talked about what it means to be healed
How do we define healing and being healed?
After reading about Internal Family Systems (IFS) Kevin recognized that this is a subject that we haven't gone into detail about and how meaningful a subject it is
So in this episode we discuss What is important to Heal and what does healing mean for a survivor of abuse
- もっと表示する
